I froze as the words left Tasha's lips, and my hearing faded as Lissa and Christian congratulated Tasha. Seeing Dimitri as Tasha's guardian and assuming that they were together was one thing; Tasha being pregnant and confirming that she was with Dimitri was another. Despite the time that had passed since Dimitri had left, I still felt a little bit of my heart break, shattering into millions of small pieces.
A moment later, fury swept through me. Dimitri had no right to kiss me before Lissa and Christian's honeymoon, but especially had no right to kiss me with Tasha being pregnant. I turned to Lissa, getting ready to excuse myself from the room when she spoke.
"I just remembered that I need to bring the Council some documents for tomorrow's meeting," Lissa said. "Rose, will you accompany me?"
I nodded my head, and stood up, numbly following Lissa out of the apartment. We didn't speak until we were free of the palace.
"What do you need?" Lissa asked softly.
"I appreciate you getting me out of there," I said, "but I just need to be left alone right now."
She nodded. "Please let me know if you need anything. You know I'd drop anything to be by your side."
"I know," I said, hugging her. "Thank you."
I returned to my apartment alone, taking the back way into the palace to avoid running into Dimitri and Tasha. With the door locked behind me, I let myself break apart in the privacy of my apartment where no one could see me.
With the years between Dimitri leaving and now, I had expected that the pain would lessen, but I knew now that it never would. People always said that you never forget your first love, and I was quickly learning that that was the truth.
Dimitri was waiting in the gym the next morning. I wasn't sure how long he had been waiting there, and I watched him put away the western novel that he was reading as I walked in.
"Rose, can we talk?"
I ignored him, turning to the Bluetooth speaker and connecting my phone. A few moments later, my music started playing, and I threw myself into my workout as Halsey blasted through the speakers in the room.
I started my workout by running around the track that ran along the outer edge of the gym, something that was still ingrained in me from my time at the Academy. I echoed the lyrics of "Nightmare" as it played through the gym. I tried to ignore Dimitri following me on the track for his own workout, but after a couple of miles, it became impossible, and I stepped off the track.
Dimitri continued his work out at machines near mine, almost as if he was trying to annoy me into talking to him. I simply turned up the music and continued to ignore him. I continued going through the motions of my workout, debating ending it early multiple times, but deciding to push through. I wasn't going to let him run me off like that.
Every time the music paused to switch to a new song, Dimitri would try to say something. I continued to give him the cold shoulder and went as far as to turn up the music every time he opened his mouth. Eventually, my playlist came to an end, signaling the end of my workout, and as soon as the music stopped, Dimitri was trying to talk to me again.
"Rose, look at me," Dimitri said, a needy tone to his voice. "Please."
I ignored him, rushing through the rest of my cool-down workout so that I could leave and get away from Dimitri. I could feel him staring at me as I wrapped up my workout. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of him, almost chest to chest. Anger rushed through me, and suddenly, the only thing that I wanted to do was fight. I shoved him backward, toward the sparring mats.
"Fight me, you coward," I challenged, needing to get my anger out and annoyed after an hour of him following me and staring at me.
Dimly, in the back of mind, I could recognize that my anger was partially fueled by darkness taken from Lissa. I ignored it as I lunged out, hitting out at Dimitri. He jumped back, blocking my hit. I lashed out again, landing a hit before Dimitri could block it. He blocked the next several hits and reached out, grabbing my chin, and forcing me to look up at him.
"Rose. Stop this," he said.
I ignored him, wrenching out of Dimitri's grip. I landed a kick to his chest, shoving him backward. Dimitri finally lashed out, attempting to land a hit, but I had gotten better – and faster – in the four years that Dimitri had been gone. And I had learned some things from when we sparred before Lissa and Christian's honeymoon. I easily dodged his hits but faltered in my steps a moment later, and Dimitri jumped forward, twisting my body so that my back was against his chest and his arm was wrapped around my neck in a headlock.
"Rose! Stop," Dimitri begged.
I didn't listen, and shoved my elbow back, connecting with his abdomen. He winced, hunching over, and I slipped out of his grip. I spun around, my fist clenched, and I couldn't help but smile as my fist connected with the side of Dimitri's head. Maybe now he'd finally feel a fraction of the pain that she had been dealing with for the past four years.
"You want me to stop?" I taunted. "Fight back."
"I don't want to fight you. Not like this," Dimitri said, keeping his distance. "I don't want to hurt you."
I laughed humorlessly. "Too late for that."
I landed another hit, watching in satisfaction as Dimitri fell to the floor.
Dimly, the realization settled over me of the darkness-fueled fight. I hadn't been affected that much by darkness in years. I shoved aside my guilt, and I crouched down, just out of Dimitri's reach.
"You're a coward," I said. "I'm sorry that I ever loved you."
"You don't mean that," he whispered. "I know you don't."
"You don't know anything."
I stood and started walking away. I heard Dimitri pull himself up behind me but didn't think anything of it. I felt his presence behind me a moment before he tried to reach out.
I whipped around. "Leave me alone. Please fucking leave me alone."
"I don't ever want to leave you again," Dimitri murmured.
I lashed out again, shoving him away from me. "You have no right to say that to me! Do you know what the past four years have been like for me? And Tasha! Fucking Tasha. You have no right to be kissing me and saying shit like that to me when Tasha's pregnant," I shouted.
Dimitri flinched back at my tone. "Rose, please. There's so much you don't understand."
"I understand plenty," I said coldly.
"It's not my baby, Rose," Dimitri said softly. "Tasha and I aren't together. We haven't been for years."
"What?" I whispered.
"Please give me a chance to explain everything."
I backed away and slowly shook my head. "Your time for chances has long passed, comrade." The nickname slipped out before I could stop it. "Please. Leave."
I turned away from Dimitri, and a moment later, I heard the gym door slam shut as Dimitri did what he did best: walked away.
Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! I figured I'd update a little sooner than originally planned to ease y'all's minds about the Tasha/baby cliffhanger. I also drew inspiration from the fight scene in episode 8 of Vampire Academy (which I highly recommend watching if you haven't already! Kieron and Sisi are great as Dimitri and Rose).
