A shorter chapter this time, but I wanted to explore these two's relationship. Hope you enjoy! Usual warnings apply, extra warnings for misgendering and internalized transphobia.
Review Replies:
Cactopus- Scar's voice would fit Oakstar I think! He's definitely supposed to be menacing. And thank you for the OC! I hope to fit him in later.
succulentsofa- Thank you! I did want to show what happened when a cat didn't quite fit into the mold they were supposed to and fought back a bit, so I'm glad that got across! "Taming" is a good way to put it. I'm also very excited for Skyshade, he's just trying to be a good dad and a good deputy, but those two don't always intersect.
Rowan Wisteria- Aww, your review is so sweet! I do think you'll quite enjoy this chapter. Foxclaw/Dovebreeze are best boys and must be protected. And thank you! I wanted to be creative and explain why her name didn't quite match her (though I feel like queens are normally given "softer" names to encourage them to be more motherly). Oakstar definitely loved punishing her and yes, he is gross. Hopefully, he just sticks to torturing Ivywhisker and Shadefall. Skyshade is also becoming one of my favorites!
yeetledee- Ahhh thank you so much, Yeet! I love writing dialogue, so I'm glad it's also good lol. I want Oakstar to be the worst.
"You finally had kits?"
The deep growl made Dovebreeze lower his head. He was too familiar with that sound. One he had grown up with. "Finally, grandkits. With your hesitation, I never thought I'd have any." Dovebreeze simply remained quiet. He knew better than to interrupt his father's rant. "Dawnsky bore me two sons and it killed her and then. The only one to survive was her pretty little dove. You." Waspfeather gave a deep sigh, like he was disappointed. (He always was.)
"I wish I had a son. But all I'm stuck with is one daughter." Dovebreeze held his breath, trying to fight back the tears in his eyes. He wanted to be the son his father wanted, to be dashing and strong and-
"At least you're pretty. Managed to land a decent mate too. Foxclaw isn't bad. A bit scatterbrained, but hopefully your kits will be more like his father Birchfrost. He was my apprentice, you know?"
That was all he ever was. Pretty. It was why toms had fought over him. Because he was nice and soft and perfect. He hadn't- He hadn't asked to be like this.
"My only kit, the envy of every she-cat," Waspfeather huffed, "Didn't expect it when you were growing up." Like he'd ever paid attention to Dovebreeze beyond scolding and telling him to get a mate. His stomach was a knot.
"Yes father," he whispered, hanging his head. Silverkit and Splashkit were currently getting shown around the den by their cousin, Sweetpaw. The poor apprentice had been named yesterday and given Badgerpounce as a mentor. The queen was known for her vile attitude. Dovebreeze was surprised she and Skyshade ever had a litter. He turned to look at his kits. Silverkit seemed strong already, ambitious too and Splashkit was a bundle of energy who seems to have inherited her father's sense of humor.
"Are you just letting them run wild?" Waspfeather scolded. Dovebreeze ducked his head.
"Sweetpaw needs to… needs to get used to being around kits," he whispered, "If she's ever going to have any of her own."
Waspfeather just rolled his eyes. "If- did you hit your head? Of course she's going to have kits. Adderstripe's already hoping to pair her off to one of Oakstar's lads. What kind of queen doesn't have kits?"
"I don't… I don't know, Father," Dovebreeze murmured. He couldn't meet Waspfeather's gaze.
"A useless one, that's what I say," the old tom snarled, "Dawnsky kept losing litters before we finally managed to have you, and she couldn't even do that properly. Don't know why I got stuck with a dud. I wanted Roseshadow for myself, but after her mate passed she refused to take another. Something about love." He laughed, "Joke's on her, she never had another litter after losing most of them to greencough. And now her only little cat is a silly healer."
"I don't even think she-cats should be allowed to be medicine cats, you know? She-cats are happiest with kits to care for." Waspfeather purred, "But you know that now, don't you, sweetie?"
Dovebreeze nodded, refraining from sighing. An ill feeling pooled in his stomach, a usual symptom of his father's ranting. He hated sitting there, being praised for his beauty and put on a pedestal. His father's delicate little prize who never quite measured up.
His kits were under good care at least. Lilypool never let Sweetpaw out of her sight and Dovebreeze knew she wouldn't want anything to happen to her niece and nephew either. Waspfeather opened his mouth again, only to look irritated as he was cut off.
"Dove!" a loving voice rang out, one that made Dovebreeze's heart leap in his chest. Foxclaw bounded forward. "Excuse me, Waspfeather," he exclaimed, "But might I borrow my mate for a moment? I wasn't to take a… stroll together." He gave Dovebreeze a soft, worried glance and he nodded.
"Father, I can't stay," he sighed, "Alas, my mate has need of me and you know I can't refuse him."
His father let out a snarl and Dovebreeze only looked down, quickly pressing himself into Foxclaw's side and hurrying out of the den. As they entered camp, no one questioned them. With Foxclaw he was safe.
The ginger tom pressed his muzzle into Dovebreeze's scruff, leading him out into the woods. Trees towered over the pair, shading them in dappled shadows. Dovebreeze sat down and wrapped his tail around his paws. He purred as Foxclaw sat next to him.
"Thought I'd come and save you, love," he whispered, pressing a kiss to his mate's forehead, "I know Waspfeather was getting rather into it."
"You can't help but love my father, can you?" Dovebreeze winced, "He was just… being himself."
"A grumbly old man who spews inappropriate comments and sticks his nose in everyone's business?" Foxclaw said with a snarky grin, causing Dovebreeze to roll his eyes and let out a half-hearted snort.
"Got him down to the fur on his pelt, dear," he whispered with a sigh, meeting his mate's gaze. Foxclaw's expression softened and he licked Dovebreeze's cheek.
"I'm sorry, love," he whispered, "He shouldn't talk to you like that."
"It's… I'm used to it," Dovebreeze swallowed, "He's been like that my whole life. I just hope he doesn't bother the kits."
"Lilypool has experience keeping unpleasant toms away from her kits," Foxclaw whispered, "Splashkit and Silverkit will be fine darling." Dovebreeze noticed the heavy weight of his expression, the joking mask Foxclaw normally kept up slipping a moment. He knew he and Lilypool had been close as kits, closer than most littermates. (Not that Dovebreeze would know, his brothers died moments after taking their first breaths.)
(He often wondered, if they were alive instead of him, would his father look so disappointed all the time?)
Losing his happy, caring sister to Adderstripe hurt Foxclaw in a way he couldn't admit. Because of the way their forsaken clan was built. He was just supposed to sit still and smile while his sister was used as a plaything. The thought made Dovebreeze's stomach twist.
That just as easily could have been him. Trapped in a loveless relationship with no way out. Sometimes he looked at Foxclaw and was taken by how damn lucky he was.
"Did he say the usual things?" Foxclaw whispered, changing the subject. Dovebreeze noticed the way his claws slid into the dirt.
"Yes," he murmured, the discomfort creeping up his pelt. Foxclaw wrapped his tail around his mate. "I… it wouldn't be so bad if I was just- if I-"
He looked up, laughing bitterly, "Well, I spent half my life loving you and half my life wanting to be you." Foxclaw's grip on him grew tighter.
"He just said- the same things everyone else does," Dovebreeze bit back tears, "I should be used to it by now, I should… I shouldn't feel like this. But if I were a tom it would be so much easier-"
"You are one," Foxclaw murmured in his ear. He was the only one to think so. The only one to tell Dovebreeze he wasn't insane. (He's spent too long staring at his reflection and wishing a different cat was staring back.)
"No, I'm not," he muttered, "Not… not really."
"You are," Foxclaw's voice was firm, "You are and I love you. I love you no matter what you are, Dovebreeze. You're…" He sighed, "I wish I knew how to fix it but-"
Dovebreeze cupped his face with a paw. "Please, you loving me is more than enough, Foxclaw." He could recall the aching insecurity when he'd told his mate how he felt. The relief that had brought him to tears when Foxclaw had wrapped his paws around him and loved him anyway.
He had to keep telling himself that being himself with his mate would be enough.
"Splashkit had your sense of humor," he murmured, "And Silverkit has your kindness. I… I have them. I have you." He beamed, "It's fine, Foxclaw. It's really fine."
His mate looked down, "I wish I could take you away from here. Somewhere safe, where… where it would just be us and the kits but…"
"But you have your family," Dovebreeze smiled painfully, "I understand, love." He understood, but it still hurt. To imagine that future he couldn't have. Where it didn't matter how anyone saw him because he just had his mate.
He let himself linger on that idea a little longer. Pretended he could scent freedom on the breeze rustling the forest leaves.
"I'm sorry," Foxclaw whispered, unable to say anything else. He shuffled his paws and sighed, "Flamepetal has been unhappy, she hasn't left Vinerose's side."
"She stood up to Oakstar," Dovebreeze swallowed, "That's always bound to end badly."
"Still… Lichenpaw?" Foxclaw pawed at the ground, "I was hoping she would have more time, to not be forced into anything."
"We can be thankful it wasn't worse," Dovebreeze whispered, leaning comfortingly against his mate, "Not everyone is lucky enough to have a mate like you after all."
"I just want the best for her…"
"I know," Dovebreeze murmured, "You want the best for everyone. Especially your kin. It's why you're a good brother, and a good father."
Foxclaw leaned down, pausing right in front of Dovebreeze's face. "You're a good father too…"
The silver tom felt his heart seize up, "You… you really think that?" He felt a bubbly joy, something he rarely let himself experience swell within him. A smile dawned on his face. One he only had around Foxclaw.
"Course," Foxclaw mumbled, "You're wonderful."
Dovebreeze purred happily as he pulled his mate into a kiss. "I love you," he whispered against Foxclaw's muzzle, "I'm glad you're mine."
"I'm lucky to have you," Foxclaw beamed at him. (Dovebreeze never understood how he could accept him. Regard him with such unabashed affection.)
"But…" the ginger tom continued, "We should probably get back to the kits."
Dovebreeze nodded in agreement, letting his mate lead him back to camp.
