Chapter twenty-one:

As Rose thrust the door open with such confidence, she stilled when she saw the figure stood inside; his back to her, hands thrust into his pockets and then, he turned at her presence, slowly and then his eyes caught hers. Blue. Intense. Striking. It was just how she recalled…

Her mouth fell open in utter surprise. She said nothing, for not a word seemed to be able to form in her minced-up mind. It took a moment for her body to remember to move and she ushered herself forwards. The furnishings seemed irrelevant at this moment and it was as though all of the outside world had gone and it was just Jack who existed; he was truly here, within her world, just as she had tried to imagine him to be for these days. Since leaving him at the docks, there had been a loneliness which had filled her and now that seemed to have been simmering at the surface until this very moment.

Jack dropped his belongings to the rug and then came towards her and she to him. She couldn't stop her feet until he stopped in his tracks. Rose faltered, wondering if he was less enthusiastic to see her now, perhaps.

''Mr. Dawson?'' Rose's voice had a hint of formality until she felt the prickling of the note which he had left still within her enclosed fist. ''Jack.''

Jack's note had said let our fates be on the wind. At a time, when she and her mother were discussing just how unhappy she was. How dim her lights would grow. Now, she was standing conversing with the man who had been the centre of her dreams for days and suddenly, she found her barrier had been put right back up. Rose rounded a long side table littered with fancy ornaments, putting some distance between them both and she pulled out her chair before sitting. She indicated for him to sit, also. Feeling the need to take the weight off her knees before she fell to them, she held onto something and her hands were flat against the wood of the desk, feeling the smooth coolness of it gave her something else to think of aside from the intensity of his gaze.

''I had to see you.''

''Oh?''

Jack pressed his lips together as his eyes shone with concern.

''I never thought that I would come here.'' Jack wrung his hands in his lap. They were fine hands; workers' hands. She removed her attention from them, just a second.

''It is quite all right.''

''Actually, no.''

Rose straightened her back ramrod upright. ''I beg your pardon?''

Jack ran his hands through his hair and she pondered whether these were signs of nerves or just regular traits of his which she hadn't noticed until now. There was so very much that she didn't know about him and found herself wondering just what she did wish to know. Yet, there was never much mystery about him; as he sat, watching her, she felt just how he could see right through her and she seemed to understand what he was trying to say, somehow.

''I am not here to pretend anymore. I haven't just run through an entire building, lied to an elevator operator and caused a stir, just to sit and talk about nothing.''

Rose narrowed her eyes as he bent to retrieve something before he thrust his portfolio at her, in a no nonsense manner.

''If we are interrupted, I am an artist whose work you wished to see. There was an elevator operator waiting for me to go back.'' Jack explained. ''Open the first few pages…''

Rose diverted her gaze and opened the first page; it was an attempt at something which she couldn't quite figure out. An arm, perhaps, going to the shoulder and perhaps, a child beside it, or even an animal. It was quite indistinguishable, as though a drunk person had attempted a sketch.

''And the next one.''

Rose turned the page, to see the same, and then again. All attempts at drawing something which were apparently abandoned. Querying Jack with her eyes, he spoke, ''I can't get it right any more. Since we walked the opposite ways, I can't stop thinking about you. If you're alright…''

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Jack felt his mouth twitch with such amusement he had to laugh aloud. His confession seemed to surprise her. And she knew he was telling the truth by the sincerity in his voice. But even so, it was still startling to hear it. Her defence was to say that she was quite alright…

''Jack, I-.''

Jack wet his lips with a quick dart of his tongue and again he ran his fingers through his long hair.

''I should say, 'yes, I am fine', but find it difficult to.''

''Then, say no.'' Jack exhaled, quietly, murmuring his response.

''Why would you feel it would be your concern?'' Rose awaited his response with a held breath. Her chest was still, he noticed this much. ''We both said our goodbye and I thought that was to be the end?'' She raised her brows so that he hurried his response. When his gaze fell on her once more, she felt the flush of her cheeks. When he watched her, it was as though he could see into her very soul and she had never felt so fully exposed to another person in her entire life. Not even wearing much less clothing whilst in Southampton. Her breathing had returned and she slowly inhaled the air around her as though she struggled to remember that she needed it to survive. Her heart had started to race and she had just managed to steal the hammer of its pound. In the silence of the room, she was sure that he could hear every beat of it, perhaps even see it through the many materials of her clothing, because that was how hard it felt to be.

''Because I care for you.''

Jack's voice broke the minute or two long silence and it was the most unimaginable response one could hope for. Butterflies fluttered, her hands shook and his gaze had not wavered one bit. He was reading her every facet; watching her responses. Examining her. Weakening her...

Rose's legs took her to the chair. His presence filled the air with such stuffiness that she failed to remember to breathe once more. Her life seemed to bounce from one complication to the next.

''Rose.''

''What am I supposed to say?'' Her head lifted so that she could see his face, then lowered as he sank to one knee in front of her. Her heart thudded violently. Her free hand fisted in her lap. He urged her to relax by gently prying open her fingers. His touch was magic to her.

''The truth.''

''Oh?'' As he massaged her palm, the tingles that coursed up her arm weren't entirely due to the returning flow of blood. ''You cannot draw any longer-''

''No.''

Rose thought for a moment, and was startled by just how easily the truth came out. It had been hidden within her depths for so long.

''I thought that perhaps if I returned to my family. If I was another man's wife-'' Rose stared at the door, waiting for someone to burst into the rooms. ''I thought that it was what I wanted, but truly, I find myself at a loss of what I do want.''

''I am not asking for you to have me.'' Jack whispered, low. ''I care about you. I am attached to you, and I know that I can't ask for you to feel the same way, but please, let me take you away from all of this.''

She swallowed hard. ''Why are you kneeling that way?''

A slow smile curved his mouth. ''If I was stupid rich, with money to burn and palaces comin' out of my ass, then I would have asked for your mother's permission to marry you right now.''

''Jack.'' A warmth came across her body. ''We hardly know one another,'' she protested, while a rush of warm and sweet feelings tightened her chest. ''We spent a week together, in strange circumstances and in another city. That doesn't add up to marriage.''

''We have honesty and desire-.'' Jack brought her hands to his lips and kissed the knuckles. ''A desire to travel,'' he corrected, with eyes which were bright, his words delivered with heartrending earnestness. ''You have good standing and breeding; I spent three days working at the docks. I have no more than ten bucks in my pocket at a time and my blood is completely worthless. But I would spill it all over for you.''

Rose sucked in a shaky breath. ''What are you saying?''

''I am saying please, don't marry him, come with me.''

Rose choked out a laugh, partly because this was now the third time that Jack had asked for her to not marry Cal. ''Do you-do you want me?'' She couldn't help but ask. ''To be with me? The way that…''

Jack reached up and cupped her nape, his thumb stroking across her throbbing pulse; she knew his answer but still needed to hear it.

''The way that lovers are.'' Feeling the warmth creeping up her cheeks, she couldn't help but see the sincerity within her face. ''We were never lovers. We never-''

''I kissed you. So much. The way that I have never kissed another. I listened to you breathe as you slept. I watched you dance in the rain. I saw you laugh. That is what I want.''

''I don't even know you.'' Rose's words came out in a rush amidst the chaos of feelings which came at her.

''I am the person who you have known these last weeks.''

''But-but, I don't know how to be just a woman. To be anything that you need.''

Jack shook his head. ''I don't want you to try to be anybody. Just come with me, we can go wherever you want to go. Remember in Southampton, when we felt that way? We can feel that forever. You said you wanted that then.''

Rose didn't deny as much. How could she?

''What of when the passion that we had fades-''

''What we feel won't. You don't see it but we are both changed. Everything about us is different. Do you feel anything about me?''

Rose could only nod.

''Others will see it, too. How you've changed. I have changed, too.''

Rose absorbed his words, startled now, knowing that others too had noticed the changes within her since returning. She studied Jack for signs of change. For a sign, that he too, was as bewitched as she.

Jack's mouth curved. ''I am down on one knee. If that isn't a sign of what I want then, what is?''

''You don't want to marry me. You have no place for a wife.'' Rose was about to laugh incredulously but found no humour in the matter.

''You don't have to be a wife. Just a friend. A companion. What we were to each other in Southampton.'' Jack's touch moved downward to cup her cheek. ''I have been lonely for so long that it is normal to me but since I met you, that changed.''

Rose gripped his other hand tightly in her lap.

''None of us could resume our lives as we knew them before. Did we try hard enough?'' Rose felt herself on the edge of some precipice and the more she looked into the beckoning blue eyes before her, it seemed to be so much easier to fall forward, towards him.

''Rose.'' He made a frustrated noise. ''Don't make me beg. I want you.''

''I know.'' Rose wished to cry. ''That is why I cannot simply just resume my life. I have changed. I have been so damned miserable without you.''

There it was, just what they both needed to hear; aloud.

''I don't know if I can make you happy. I just want to try.''

An odd sort of delight bubbled within her. Like champagne, it made her slightly giddy. ''I'm not as confident in my ability to make you so happy. Most people find me overbearing. To be too modern. Too opinionated for a woman. I am proficient with the pianoforte, I am a terrible singer, dancing bores me to tears unless it is with you drinking in a questionable public house-''

Jack laughed, leaning forward so that their faces were a mere inch or so apart. It stole the breath from her. ''I don't fuckin' care. I know all of that. I have seen you angry, sad, happy and free. I want you to be all of those things. Tell me honestly, does the fact that I have no money make a difference to us? To you?''

Rose shook her head without hesitation. ''No, never.''

''I can't give you this,'' he indicated with his hands about the lavishly decorated sitting room, ''or this,'' he pulled at the threads of her beautiful dress, ''but I can give you this.'' Pulling her hand to his heart, she felt how erratically it beat, for her. ''If you don't want that, then, at least just let me see you smile, in California. Let me hear you scream riding the rollercoaster. Let me hold back your hair as you throw up drinking cheap beer.''

Jack smiled, beautifully, cocking his head to the left as he examined her worry.

''If I agree, it is something I have no knowledge of.'' Rose wrinkled her brow in surprise, as what she said next changed everything. It was an admittance of some kind; even to herself. ''I changed my mind about what I wanted with you before we even left Augusta, before we parted ways at the docks, Jack. As soon as I returned to my mother, to Cal, there was no change. No emotions regarding the sinking. Nothing. Just life plunging on ahead and me powerless to stop it.''

Jack got to his feet, his tall tance overwhelming her as he helped her to stand too. She feared her own feet would buckle beneath her as she managed to support her own weight.

''If you come with me, I will never let you go. I will love you, be yours for the rest of our lives.''

''I don't know if I would know how to love, but I think that I can learn.'' Rose wished to add that she was sure to already know but the moment was beautiful enough. A man had gotten to his knees for her. Travelled across the city. Travelled across the world. For her. To ensure that she was all right.

''All I want is your happiness.''

The physical response Rose had to Jack's words was so violent, it took her by surprise. Tilting his head, Jack lowered his mouth to hers. The approach was slow and without force. She stumbled back, panting because she couldn't breathe because he was so close. He watched as she retreated, nearly beyond arm's reach when he caught her back.

''I'm sorry, it still frightens me.''

Jack lips sealed over hers with a boldness that stole what was left of her air. She sagged into him, unable to comprehend the ardour with which he kissed her. His body was hard, tall and protective. Of her. Every small way in which he reacted, it was all for her.

With Jack's hands at her nape, they followed the length of her arms down to her wrist. He circled it, then lifted her hand to his chest. Between his coat and shirt, he urged her palm to splay over his heart. His skin burned through the layers of clothing between them. His heart beat with the same recklessness as hers. Her other hand clenched the hem of his coat as she whimpered, overwhelmed from the intensity of everything.

The press of his lips softened and his grip slackened enough to allow her lungs to expand. Teasing rather than taking, he licked at the lower curve of her lip, goading him to taste her back. She was trembling, uncertain.

The clock on the mantel began to chime on the hour, but Rose was so lost to the time. To everything about her. Her hand moved across Jack's torso, feeling the muscles tense beneath her touch as it tickled across his chest. Jack stopped his kiss, pulling away slowly until he seemed to focus on her cheek, and his hand slowly raised to caress it; the exact spot where Cal had struck her that morning beneath the layers of perfect powder. Jack's jaw tensed, visibly and Rose felt the uneasiness wash about in her stomach.

''He's hit you?''

Rose didn't need to speak to confirm it.

''Arrogant and conceited yet he is the most spineless person to raise his hands to a woman. I want to kill him..'' Jack's hands clenched within her own and she shook her head.

''No, I don't wish for anything other than to forget the events of this morning.'' Rose felt the tears prickling within her eyes. ''Cal is a man who wants nothing more than to keep me locked in some sort of a cage. He wanted nothing more than to take me to his bed, and to the altar in order to control me and extinguish what little life I have left.'' Glancing to her trembling hands, she saw her engagement ring and her fingers were laced with Jack's. His mouth had been on hers. ''But I am freeing myself. I am saving myself.'' Sliding the ring from her finger, she allowed it to drop to the floor like a worthless stone and it rolled away.

''You don't lay hands on the woman you're supposed to love, you don't ruin her by trying to take a woman before she feels ready to. He may have money, but he isn't a man.''

Rose's spine prickled at Jack's accurate description. Her cheeks wanted to flush once more but she quickly dismissed it. She was more concerned about his lack of fright for any of the situation; Jack was a man who was laid back, with no reason to stress of life even when he was dealt a bad hand. It seemed to be contagious and perhaps it was that which had made her immune to Cal's threats.

''I know that.'' Rose soothed him, stroking across his stubbled chin.

''I don't plan to escape without a black eye or broken rib, but I plan for you to.'' Jack told her, holding onto her tighter.

''What?'' She recoiled, his words scaring her.

''Do you think that I would just let him put his hands on you? '' Jack placed his hands upon her shoulders to dismiss any fear which might have gathered. ''Look, whatever happens with us, it will be alright.''

''I don't wish to be a burden to anyone,'' she told him, glancing at her feet. Jack used his finger to propel her chin upwards to watch him. ''I don't want you to fight my battles.''

''There was very little life in me before you. I thought I was living for something, my parent's memory perhaps but I know now that I was lonely, achingly so.''

''I know that all too well.''

With a hand at the nape of his neck, Rose pulled him down, crushing her lips to his with such force that their teeth almost clashed. If he was surprised, he didn't show as his own hands came up to her waist, holding her steadily there. Their lips worked, sucking and twisting as though it would be their last. It was unlike the others; tentative and tender. There seemed to be some filter which had removed their absolute hesitance and now, she clung to him as though her life depended upon it. She was utterly weakened by him. Seduced by him...

''I love fire about you.'' Jack whispered against her lips, before taking her mouth once more. It was warm there with him, in his arms.

The fire had always burned within her, perhaps dimly at first and then when it flourished, there had always been someone to distinguish it but now, it was free to burn as bright and as high as it ever could. Blind, hot and burning enough to kiss her forever, without stopping, Jack drove her body upward against the window of the sitting room which loomed behind them, testing the coolness with the palm of his hand before pressing her against it with her back straightened. Jack gave up her mouth to take her throat. She was sunrise over the water. She was dew upon heather. The wanting was like nothing he'd ever known-an inferno. His lungs couldn't get enough air. But he would die happy. Gladly.

"Jack," came her husky plea. "You're burning me alive."

Rose's fingers started clawing at his hair and felt her legs turn to some sort of jelly. She winced at his sucking, but then relaxed against his touch and clung to him, allowing the window to support the weight which she was unable to carry herself. Whimpering as she kissed his jaw, his ear, and his brow, she panted harshly.

"What are you doing to me?''

Rose's lips were right against the lobe of his ear; her words low and hoarse. Snaking her arms across his shoulders, down to the open neck of his shirt, she felt the stupid urge to rag it from his body when a voice that wasn't their own caused their kiss to cease, for them to part ways with panting breaths and to find there in the sitting room; Caledon Hockley.