Title: Questionable Supplies
Rating: M
Summary: Brains, Alan and Kayo come across a strange package.
Notes: I going to hell on this one… Loosely inspired on the song Take it like a Man by Kevin Bloody Wilson (although Jenny Talia's cover of the song works better with the lyrics).
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Questionable Supplies
2061
Going through the supplies of Tracy Island can be an experience, every package that arrives on the island must be clearly labelled and go through checks to make sure it's not something dangerous to the residents of Tracy Island.
So, when Brains came across a mysterious black package with no labels or tags, other than the address of the shell company that International Rescue gets their supplies sent through, as he, Alan and Kayo were going through the latest batch of islands supplies, it was cause of some alarm.
A quick scan and x-ray of the box was enough to prove that what was in the box wasn't a recognised weapon or explosive, but a mechanical device of some sort. Unfamiliar with the purpose of the design Brains decided to take the device out of the box, with Kayo and Alan watching on, ready to give assistance if needed.
The device had a black handle with what appeared to several studded rings of purple rubber on one end, with a couple of rubber numbs pointing out one side, which moved and vibrated when Brains turned the device on. When Brains looked up to see what his colleagues thought about the device, he found Alan looking uncomfortable and turning very red in colour, and Kayo doing a goldfish impersonation. "W-What is it?" Brains asked.
"That is not mine." Kayo stated, as she turned to glare at Alan. "I did not order that – if, and I mean IF, I was to buy anything like that, I wouldn't have it sent it to somewhere where you guys could easily stumble across it."
"Don't look at me," Alan replied. "I'm pretty sure you have to be at least eighteen years old to be even allowed to buy one of these things, and Scott would have my butt for breakfast if I even had a fake ID, let alone something like this."
"Yet you know what this is." Kayo pointed out.
"And I have four older brothers that don't always know the meaning of discrete, as much as they try to keep things private," Alan shot back. "As you know very well."
"Um… What is this?" Brains cut in, gesturing to the device "And who does it belong to?"
"What it is, is pretty obvious, Brains," Alan answered. "As for who it belongs to, I would ask Gordon-"
"Did someone call my name?" Gordon called out as he, Scott and Virgil came into the loading bay. "Word of warning, Grandma is currently engaged in her latest attempt to destroy the kitchen, so unless you want to become her next test subject you bet-" Gordon saw the still switched on device in Brains hands. "Whoa, where did that come from?"
Scott face palmed when Alan replied, "I thought you might know, this looks like something you would order."
"Hate to break to you, bro," Gordon replied. "But that thing isn't mine, wish it was, I could use something like this in a prank."
Scott glared at his second youngest brother, "Oh, really?" He growled.
"I said could, Scott," Gordon replied, defensively. "Not would, besides this is shit that you pay for in cash, while wearing a trench coat, sunglasses and hat…" Gordon shrugged and looked at Kayo with raised eyebrows, "I guess this thing is yours?"
Kayo snatched the thing out Brains hands, and waved the still switched-on device in front of Gordon's face, "Next person that suggests that this is mine, gets it shoved up their ass," she snarled.
"Knowing Gordon, he would probably enjoy it," Virgil snarked.
"It's a little bit big for my liking, Virgil," Gordon squeaked.
"What? Don't think you can take it like a man, Gordo?"
"Could you?" Gordon shot back.
Scott, not wanting things to escalate further, cut in, "Enough!" he growled, "There are minors present."
"Hey!" Alan protested, "This is nothing compared to some of the times I walked in on you guys-"
John chose that moment to do his regular com in, took one look at the situation in front of him and flashed out again.
"John?" Scott called John back.
"Whatever the fuck you guys are doing," John answered, in an unimpressed tone. "Leave. Me. Out. Of. It."
"Soo it's not yours?" Gordon snickered. "And here I thought you were starting to loosen up."
John shot Gordon a withering look, and flashed out again.
"W-what is it?" Brains asked again.
Four Tracy brothers and Kayo looked at Brains like he had ten heads, "Er, Brains-" Scott began.
"There you boys are, I was beginning to think I would have to search the entire island for you."
Six people jumped at the sound of Grandma Tracy's voice as she walked in the Loading Bay, Kayo, realising that she still wielding the offensive weapon, quicky grabbed the box it came in and shoved it back inside, forgetting to switch it off as she did so…
888
Sally Tracy looked at her grandson's, Kayo and Brains, all but the latter had expressions that suggested that they had just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar, she saw a black box bouncing around on a work bench between them, "I was going to tell you lunch was ready, but it looks like you've found something interesting," she said, as she reached for the box.
"Err… Grandma," Scott began, as he tried to stop her from opening the package.
"Oh, come now," Sally scolded, as she opened the box. "I saw you guys messing around with this before I got here, I high doubt it's going to blow up in my face."
"But Grandma –" Alan started, as Sally pulled the item out.
"Oh, it arrived," Sally exclaimed. "Finally, I was wondering when it was going to arrive, I don't normally do this sort of thing by mail, but the old one wore out and I haven't had a chance to get away when we go on supply runs to source a new one…" she looked up to her Grandson's and Kayo's gobsmacked expressions, Brains just looked confused.
"It's yours?" Virgil squeaked.
"I'm old not incapable," Sally replied, as she turned to walk away. "Besides, lunch is ready and I expect all of you to be up there in the next five minutes."
"FAB." Was the strangled reply.
As she was leaving the hanger she heard Alan moan, "She still expects us to eat lunch after that?" Followed by the sound of a thud that was Gordon fainting.
Sally rolled her eyes, seriously those boys could be so dramatic at times…
But even she paused when heard Brains ask what her object was.
888
Up on Thunderbird Five, John Tracy threw up in zero-g for the first time in years.
