Hello, everyone!
Unlike last week, this chapter needed only minor edits. Thank the FORCE. In fact, I'm rather proud of this chapter. A lot of good stuff here.
OneLittleSpark18: Thank you as always! I'm glad to help improve your day!
PaladinStormwind: Thank you! Boba and Obi Wan is a really fun dynamic to write, honestly. And yes, I try to make Rex improve somewhat in every chapter in some way. Including this one?
Venomizer: Thank you! Obi Wan and Kor are fun because I get to extrapolate how Obi Wan would react to having a son. Kor is also nice because he doesn't have that much of a canon character, I can really make him my own. As for Anakin, I always want to strive to find a balance between a character wanting to help someone and how much that character would know how to help. Anakin is a character that I feel does a lot of misguiding 'helping.' Because of his own trauma and such. Good luck with your busy things!
4thwallbreak: Bo Katan is so interesting because I really like her character, but she's also not a very good person. I'm glad I've captured some of that. And yes, f the Kaminoans.
Quick note: Rex still communicates in quotes, but now I'm going to have those quotes in actual quotation marks, to make it more clear.
TW: Blood, PTSD, panic attacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, shut downs
Mando'a translations at the end!
Captain Rex sat on his cot, staring at the ground. The gouges forming a new collar around his neck, throbbed. Blood and skin were under his fingernails.
The scars were there, under the bleeding flesh. They would not disappear, no matter how much he tore at them. They were so heavy, a weight that he felt at all times.
He hated them. They meant he was not a good soldier.
They reminded him of what the Kaminoans had done to him.
He knew he could not scratch away the scars, but that never mattered in the moment. Afterward their weight was joined by the burden of knowledge that he was still broken.
Someone knocked at the door. Captain Rex did not move. They would see him, see his shame. He could not force himself to hide the marks of weakness.
It was Commander Tano who stepped in. He would not look at her face to see the horrible emotions he had caused. He felt her gentle hands tilt his chin up. He heard her soft intake of breath.
"Oh, Rex." She said.
Captain Rex said nothing as she cleaned the wounds and bandaged them.
"I'll talk to Kal about having you move in with one of the boys." Commander Tano said. "Just so this doesn't happen again."
He caused her such pain and yet she had sworn to never leave him.
She gestured with her hand and he removed his blacks, so that the blood could be washed away.
"You must have had a bad nightmare." Commander Tano said as she took them.
Captain Rex nodded.
"Prime." He whispered.
He had beaten the cadet, the boy, the brother, in the dream. Prime had cried for him to stop. Captain Rex had not.
He broke protocol. He needed to be punished.
7567- Captain Rex twitched at the thought.
"Everyone's waiting for us." Commander Tano said. "Do you want to come eat breakfast?"
7567 needed the nourishment.
Rex wanted to see Luke and Leia.
The two thoughts ran through Captain Rex's mind in such quick succession that it felt like the wind had knocked out of him.
He finally gave a nod, though it hurt, and dressed in fresh blacks. He followed Commander Tano to the large dining room, where the Skirata clan was eating breakfast. The Skywalkers were sitting next to Sergeant Skirata, discussing a recent assassination attempt in the Senate.
"I'd say it was Death Watch extremists." Sergeant Skirata said.
"We haven't been able to identify the body." Chancellor Amidala said. "The armor's chain code said it belonged to Jor Jehaat. But the body doesn't match the man's description."
Sergeant Skirata frowned.
"That's odd." He confessed. "I'll keep an eye out for any of their activity."
"Hey, vod!" Commando Fi was the first to acknowledge Captain Rex.
Captain Rex smiled briefly at the Commando's enthusiasm. It was good to have a clone who understood what it was like to be broken.
He wondered if Commando Fi ever scratched his scars until he bled.
"'Ex!"
His verd'ika's squeal brought him back to the room. Leia was reaching for him. Captain Rex walked across the room and picked her up. Her face was covered in egg.
"Rex," Chancellor Amidala said. "She's still eating."
"No egg!" Leia said. "'Ex!"
"I think she's done." General Skywalker said.
"He needs to eat too." Commander Tano said.
Captain Rex found himself sitting with Leia in his lap and a plate of eggs in front of him. He tried to eat, but found himself just sitting, letting Leia play with his fingers. He felt something in his mind. It was like when Commander Tano or General Jusik worked with him, though this feeling was blunter and less precise. He was able to feel Leia's emotions. She was happy to sit with him and sad that he was hurt. There was a flame of something, deep and warm, that she felt for him, her mother and father, her brother, and Commander Tano.
He knew that fire too. He felt it for Leia and Luke, and for General Skywalker and Chancellor Amidala. He felt it for the clones. But he did not feel it for Commander Tano. For her, there was something similar in its place. Something that made him crave her presence more than any other being's. Something that made him want to feel her touch. Something that hurt him as much as it drove him.
"Obi Wan should be arriving in a few hours."
Captain Rex looked up at General Skywalker's words. It would be good to see General Kenobi. Commander Cody had mentioned the General in his latest message. The Commander wanted the General to come back to Coruscant, to help with the 212th.
"I'm surprised he has the time." Commander Tano said. "With the tournament coming up soon."
"I can't tell if that man is a genius or has a death wish." Sergeant Skirata said.
"I thought the Fett kid came up with the plan." General Skywalker said.
"Yeah, but Kenobi didn't have to actually do it." Sergeant Skirata said, shaking his head.
"Ben!" Luke called out.
"You talking about Obi Wan, Luke?" General Skywalker said. "Yeah, he's coming."
General Kenobi did come, along with Alpha and a Mandalorian that Captain Rex did not know.
The sun was shining bright down on the sprouting green crops of Kyrimorut and gleamed off of General Kenobi's speeder.
"Who's this, Obi Wan?" General Skywalker asked after Alpha had gone to meet with Sergeant Skirata.
"That's Korkie Kryze." Commander Tano said with a smile. "I met him when I was doing that stint on Mandalore."
"It's good to see you, Ahsoka." The Mandalorian said. "But I go by Kor now. Kor- Kor Kenobi."
Captain Rex frowned. Chancellor Amidala made a soft 'Oh' noise. Commander Tano snorted. General Skywalker stared at General Kenobi.
"Yes." General Kenobi said. "It seems that- Satine and I had a son. She- never told me."
"What the hell Obi Wan?" General Skywalker said loudly.
Captain Rex flinched at his harsh voice.
"Neither of us knew." Kor Kryze said. "My mother kept it a secret until her death."
"Then how-" Commander Tano said.
"Maul." General Kenobi said. "He found out somehow. And then Bo Katan confirmed it."
General Skywalker put his hand to his head.
"I don't know whether to be ecstatic or frustrated!" He said.
"My reaction as well." Kor Kryze said.
Captain Rex was- overwhelmed. The Generals, Chancellor, Commander, and the newcomer continued to speak with such large, overwhelming emotions. The echoes of those feelings plagued his heart. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block it all out.
The scars around his neck throbbed, reminding him that he was not to have these emotions.
Those same scars were the reason his heart and mind were fractured and he could not feel the way he longed to feel.
A hand touched his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see Commander Tano searching his face, brow furrowed.
Let's go. Her voice whispered in his mind. You can rest in your room.
Captain Rex felt relieved as he allowed Commander Tano to lead him away to the quiet of the compound. She began taking him to his room, but he stopped. He could not be alone.
"Rex?" She asked.
He reached up and brushed his fingers against the bandages on his neck. For a moment he tried to find words within his reach that could explain.
"'You didn't see us alone.'" He said.
"You're right." She said. She knew. She always knew. "You shouldn't be alone right now."
She paused, frowning.
"All of Kal's boys are out working." She said slowly. "Kal's talking to Boba, Bessany's gone into town with Kad and Etain- kriff, is there no one here?"
She glanced at the way they had come.
"I'll stay with you." She said. "Come on, let's go sit in the karyai."
Captain Rex followed her to the spacious room. The light coming through the skylight was soft, causing the wood paneling of the floor to shine. He became aware of her emotions. She was feeling so many, confusion and curiosity, all surrounding General Kenobi. She wanted to speak to him.
"'You wanted to be around'." Captain Rex said, jerking his head towards where the Generals were.
"Yes." Commander Tano said. "But you need me."
He felt guilty. She was constantly with him. He was a burden.
"'It's all my fault.'"
"Don't say that!" Her tone was harsh. "None of this is your fault."
His mind could not accept it. He could always be making more of an effort.
"'I can do it.'" He said.
She hesitated.
"Are you sure?" She asked. "You want to go back outside?"
He nodded, but his eyes were squeezed shut.
He expected her to take him back outside. He wanted her to, at least for her sake.
Instead she walked to a chair and sat down. He looked at her, confused.
"We don't need to go out right away." She said. "You'll do better if you have some time to relax."
She smiled at him. He could see the flame in her, so close to the fire he had seen in Leia.
He wanted to fall to his knees, kiss her hands, tell her that she was the most magnificent, beautiful, kind creature in the galaxy, and pledge the rest of his life to her.
He did not. Captain Rex merely looked at her.
He was so tired of being broken.
Captain Rex was assigned new quarters. He was to bunk with Commando Niner now.
"Your 'Soka says you're having trouble with your scars." Commando Niner said once they were alone in their small wooden room.
Captain Rex looked at him. He nodded.
"Do you want me to physically stop you?" Commando Niner asked.
Captain Rex did not want to answer, but he nodded.
Commando Niner seemed sad when Captain Rex gave the affirmative.
"Do you feel better? I know you act better, but-"
Commando Niner did not finish speaking. Captain Rex considered the question. Seeing as he had been barely able to feel emotions at first, the access to his feelings was an improvement. But now he was so much more aware of his deficits, of how he dragged Commander Tano down, of how others looked on him with pity.
He shrugged.
Dogma lay on the floor, weeping.
"My fault!" He cried. "My fault!"
7567 reached down, not to comfort or hold Dogma, as Rex wanted so badly to do, but to jerk him to his feet.
"You are to follow me." 7567 said.
Then Dogma was strapped to a table, naked, tears still trickling down his cheeks.
The Kaminoan handed 7567 a hypo.
"CT-4157 has been sentenced to decommissioning." The Kaminoan said. "You are to carry it out."
"Yes, sir." 7567 said.
Dogma looked at 7567.
"Please, Captain." He said.
7567 plunged the hypo into Dogma's neck. Dogma's eyes widened. His body began to shake. He let out a final cry and was still.
"Very good, CT-7567." The Kaminoan said.
7567 turned to see more examination tables in a row. Five cadets were strapped to them.
"These cadets have been sentenced to decommissioning." The Kaminoan said. "You are to carry it out."
7567 stood over the first cadet. It was Owl.
"Captain, please!" He begged. "I'm sorry, I'll be a good soldier-"
7567 followed orders.
Captain Rex woke up to the weight of his scars. He needed them off. He needed them gone now.
It was because of them that he would have murdered his brothers without a thought.
If he had been willing from the beginning, he would not have them.
Captain Rex had not managed to peel away the first scab when hands wrapped around his wrists.
"No, vod!"
It was a clone's voice.
They had come to take him back to Nala Se. She would ask him his designation. He had to give the right answer or there would be pain.
"Designation CT-7567!" He cried out.
No more pain. He did not want any more pain.
The hands were still on him and he writhed. He had given the correct answer. Why were they still here? Were they to bring him more pain?
Captain Rex screamed, but he made no sound.
Ahsoka woke to the sound of Rex's silent cries.
She was out of her bed before she quite realized what was happening. She ran into Niner as she sprinted into the hall.
"Good." He said. "Come on."
She followed him to his quarters. Rex was curled in on himself, completely still. In contrast, she could hear his distress in the Force.
Ahsoka moved to stand over him and placed her hands on his shoulder. He was so tense under her touch.
"It's me." She said.
He relaxed ever so slightly. She slipped into his memories to see what had triggered such a strong reaction. He hadn't gone catatonic since near the beginning. Her heart sank when she saw what had made him so panicked. A brother's voice, something that should have brought him comfort.
"Thank you for trying, Niner." Ahsoka said. "But- they used clones against him on Kamino."
She should have guessed, should have known how he would have reacted to a brother trying to pull him out of his nightmares. She was furious at herself for not considering it.
Niner nodded.
"Come on, Rex." Ahsoka murmured into his ear. "I can take you somewhere safe."
It took a minute more of coaxing before he got to his feet. His eyes were dull and he stared at the ground. She led him to her own room. As they crossed the threshold, she felt part of him resist.
"It's okay, Rex." She said.
She could feel his trust in her. She gestured to her bed. He hesitated again.
"Go on." She said. "Don't worry about me."
Finally he eased himself down onto the bed. Ahsoka sent a subtle sleep suggestion to him and his eyelids drooped. She watched with relief as he lay down and his breathing became deep and even.
She herself settled down in a chair she never used. She'd have his cot moved in here tomorrow, but for tonight, she was more than willing to give up her bed for him.
Fives could sense that something was wrong with Tech as he came down from his match. Tech had shoved his way to the front of the cheering throng, near the other waiting fighters. He usually waited for Fives away from the crowd.
"You have fought a total of three matches." Tech said. "It is time to leave."
"Is there something wrong?" Fives asked.
"We need to leave." Tech repeated.
Fives glanced from Tech to the crowd. The young Zabrack, Pez, was there. He was grinning expectantly.
"If it's not urgent, I wanted to talk a minute with Pez." Fives said.
The kid was nice, and eager, and honestly seemed in awe of Fives. He made Fives feel more normal.
Tech's eyes narrowed.
"Fine." Fives said.
He didn't want a lecture. He gave an apologetic wave to Pez, whose smile wilted.
"What's going on?" Fives asked again when they broke into the grimy undercity air.
Tech adjusted his goggles with a frown.
"Pez is a spice addict." He said flatly.
Fives blinked, taken aback.
"He's clean!" He protested. "He hasn't used in months!"
"One is never 'clean' from spice." Tech said.
"Who cares?" Fives said, anger boiling up now. "He treats me normally!"
Tech gave Fives a sharp look.
"That may be so, but there is a high possibility of him offering you spice, and an equally high chance of you taking it." He said. "Vulnerable individuals such as yourself are more likely to self medicate with various mind altering substances. I do not wish for you to become a spice addict."
"I'm not gonna become a kriffing spice addict!" Fives said angrily.
He hated the doubting look Tech gave him.
"We should return home." Was all he said.
"No." Fives said. "I wanna do another fight."
He didn't quite know where this sudden stubbornness was coming from. Maybe it was the way that Tech was trying to control him. Maybe it was the insult he was offering to the one person Fives had taken a shine to.
Tech's frown deepened.
"It is later than usual already." He said. "We do not have time-"
"Says who?" Fives said harshly. "We're not in the army, we don't have rules to follow! If I want to do another fight, and then get a drink, that's my prerogative!"
Kriff, a drink sounded good right now. Tech never let him go to a bar after the fights, afraid of a habit forming.
"Your prerogative cannot be trusted." Tech said. "I am trying to help you, Fives-"
"You're not doing anything for me! All you do is watch me and shove pills down my throat!" Fives said. "You keep me from doing anything except throw a few punches!"
Tech's brow furrowed and he opened his mouth. Fives didn't want any of his logical explanations.
"You keep saying that things won't help but we don't try any of them!" Fives said, his voice nearing a shout now. "Why don't you just admit that you have no idea how to help me?"
"Fives-" Tech started.
"Your brother giving you trouble, Sinko?" Bul, the Karkadoan bouncer, interrupted.
Fives had forgotten he was there.
"Maybe." Fives said before he could stop himself.
Tech's eyes widened ever so slightly as the large man stepped in front of him.
"Mind your business." Bul said.
Tech looked up with an unwavering gaze at him. Fives didn't hear his response as he took his chance and plunged into the crowds.
It was only a few seconds before he heard Tech shout his name. He ignored it. Then it was a minute of Fives ducking past people before his comm began to go off. Fives pulled it out and removed the power source. Tech could have probably tracked him with it.
Why are you doing this? You're hurting him and Echo.
Fives pushed the thoughts away. Tech had told him to ignore the intrusive thoughts.
He needed time alone. He needed to not be monitored and controlled for five minutes.
And he needed a kriffing drink.
By the time that Tech had disengaged with the Karkadoan bouncer, Fives was out of sight.
"Fives!" Tech called into the crowd.
He received no response. Immediately Tech entered Fives' frequency into his commlink. It beeped for a moment, and then cut off. Tech took out his data pad, ready to track Fives' comm.
Nothing.
Tech took a shaky breath as he moved in the direction he suspected Fives had gone. He tried to run through his options in his mind, but the undercity was loud with the whining of speeders and the chatter of people. He wished he had brought his helmet. He also wished that he had implanted a tracking device on Fives like he had first wanted to.
Tech kept going, despite the noise. If it had only been the noise, he would have been able to cope. But people kept bumping into him, the occasional neon light burned his eyes, his goggles were fogging up with other people's breath, there was the sharp scent of some street food.
All of it exacerbated his current fear for Fives. Where was he? Had anyone harmed him? Why couldn't Tech help him like he needed?
Tech turned a corner and stopped short. The main road of the level was blazing alight with neon signs. It felt like vibrodaggers piercing his eyes. His head began to pound, the noises weren't stopping, he couldn't see Fives, people wouldn't stop touching him, there were more, mixing, melting scents. He could not focus, the overwhelming sensations running in circles in his head.
Lights, sounds, touches, smells, Fives.
Lights, sounds, touches, smells, Fives.
Lights, sounds, touches, smells, Fives.
Fives wasn't sure if the bar he entered allowed clones. His bounty hunter's helmet seemed to throw the bartender off the scent at least. The bar was grimy and smelled of pure alcohol. Fives glanced around at the patrons. They all looked absolutely batnor.
Fives plopped down on a flaking, sticky bar stool and put his hand down on an equally tacky bar. The Bothan bartender gave him a sideways look but didn't say anything.
"Give me a Fuzzy Tauntaun." Fives said.
The Bothan man immediately barked out a harsh laugh.
"What, do you think we're on the upper levels?" He said with an unpleasant sneer. "Order something a man would drink."
Fives bristled, but before he could say anything, a couple of credits fell onto the bar counter.
"You have the osik for one." A slightly modulated voice said. "Make the man his drink."
Fives looked up to see a tall Mandalorian woman in bright orange armor standing next to him. Her helmet was still on.
The Bothan bartender gave her a glare.
"In fact," The Mando said. "I want one too."
She leaned an elbow on the counter, showing off a vibroblade sheath attached to her vambrace.
The Bothan spat a curse in his native tongue but turned around to make the drinks.
The Mandalorian woman turned to look down at Fives. Fives blinked at her. Her voice seemed familiar, though it was hard to tell with the helmet's distortion.
"Vor'e." Fives finally managed.
Too late he remembered that this woman couldn't tell he was a clone and would be curious as to why he knew Mando'a. He tensed himself for the questions.
She asked none.
When the Tauntauns were done in finger smudged glasses, she took one and walked towards one of the rickety tables. She paused halfway there to turn around and cock her head at Fives. Fives blinked, but then grabbed his drink and followed her.
"What's your name?" Fives asked.
She still hadn't taken off her helmet, instead using a sipper. Her blank visor stared at him.
"They call me Woor." She said after a moment.
"Not what I asked." Fives said.
"I'm sorry, but it's what you're getting." Woor said.
Fives raised an eyebrow at the oddly polite response.
"Please drink it." Woor ordered. "Your friend will be here in a moment."
Fives' jaw dropped.
"How did you know?" He demanded. "Are you one of Skirata's?"
"I'm sorry, but I have no idea who that is." Woor said flatly.
"Then how do you know about Tech?"
Woor cocked her head again and Fives felt sure he knew someone who did the same. She reached out and pushed the Tauntaun towards him.
Fives scowled, but took a swig. The pleasant fuzzing ran over his tongue, distracting him from the harsh taste of the alcohol. He eyed Woor as he drank. She was steadily sipping at her own Tauntaun. Though her helmet was tilted towards the doorway, Fives was sure she was still looking at him.
He was about to ask her how she knew him when she stood up. Fives looked around to see another Mandalorian, this one in grey and red, leading Tech into the bar.
"Ba'buir!" Woor cried, striding forward. "You made it!"
The tall Mandalorian chuckled.
"Wasn't hard, my dear " He said. His voice was strong, but weathered.
Fives looked past the older Mandalorian to Tech. He frowned. Tech looked- blank, as if he didn't quite know where he was.
"What did you do to him?" Fives snapped.
The elderly Mandalorian looked at Fives.
"He was like that when I found him." He said. "When I told him I knew where you were he just followed me without a word."
Fives got up and walked to Tech.
"Tech." He said quietly. "What happened?"
Tech looked at him. He said nothing.
Fives knew in that moment that whatever this was, it was his fault. He swallowed, panic rising in his chest. What if he was like Rex now? Did Fives just break Tech?
He needed to get him back to the Batch. Maybe they would know what to do.
Fives put the power pack back into his comm and inputted Hunter's frequency.
"What's wrong?" Hunter asked before Fives could say anything.
"Something- something's wrong with Tech." Fives said. "He's not responding to me."
Hunter was quiet for what seemed to be hours.
"Where are you?" He asked.
"Uh-" Fives blinked.
He hadn't taken much notice to the bar's name.
"The Sneaky Womprat." The elderly Mandalorian offered.
Fives relayed the information.
"We'll be there as soon as we can." Hunter said. "Get them to dim the lights and turn off the music. Don't touch him."
The comm clicked off.
"Hey!" Fives shouted to the bartender. Tech flinched hard. Fives paused, and then hurried to the counter. "Turn off the lights and music."
The Bothan eyed him with an annoyed look and then returned to cleaning a glass.
"I told you to turn them off!" Fives hissed.
"Kriff off." The bartender grunted.
Fives grit his teeth. He dropped a pile of credits onto the bar, turned around, and shot the three light fixtures dangling from the ceiling.
"Hey!" The bartender said.
Fives ignored him and shot out the jukebox as well.
"That should be enough to replace them." Fives said. "Next time, listen to your kriffing customers."
His stomach dropped when he turned to look at Tech. Tech had clapped his hands over his ears, eyes squeezed shut. He had shrunk in on himself. Fives had never seen him like this.
It wasn't long before Hunter and Wrecker burst into the bar. Wrecker took one look at Tech and hurried over. He gently pried Tech's hands away from his ears.
"I brought your helmet, Tech." Wrecker said quietly. Fives hadn't thought he could whisper. "That'll be better than your hands. Then I'm gonna get you to the speeder, okay?"
Tech didn't respond, but kept his hands down as Wrecker placed the helmet over his head. Wrecker flicked the visor down and pressed a button. The visor blacked out. Wrecker gingerly put his hand on Tech's shoulder and guided him out the door. Fives was grateful that Hunter didn't say anything as they followed.
"Who were those Mandos?" Hunter asked once they had left the bar behind.
"What?" Fives said with a blink. He'd nearly forgotten about the two Mandalorians who'd come to his and Tech's aid. "I- don't know. They just- showed up. I don't know if they were watching us, but they knew that Tech needed to find me."
"Why'd he need to find you?" Hunter asked.
Fives hesitated. Hunter was fairly reasonable, especially when compared to Crosshair, but-
"Listen, I know I shouldn't have left him behind." Fives said. "But-"
"There's no 'buts.'" Hunter said harshly. "You don't abandon a man like that. You left him in a hostile environment without his kit."
"I didn't know he'd react like this!" Fives protested.
"You'd know if you put a fraction of the effort he gives to you in for him." Hunter said.
He's right. You don't know anything about Tech. You act like you don't care.
Fives let himself get angry. Anger kept the intrusive thoughts away.
"Tell me, then!" He snapped at Hunter.
"He gets overwhelmed." Hunter said. "Loud noises, bright lights, the like. He has his helmet to help, but not this time. Not to mention you probably scared him by running off."
His explanation was clipped and annoyed. He quickened his step to walk besides Wrecker and Tech.
Amidst the guilt now settling back in Fives' gut, he thought back to Hunter's question.
Who were those Mandos?
Fives glanced behind him, scanning the crowd. He couldn't see the Mandalorians, if they were following them. Woor had acted so familiarly with Fives. Why did they care? What did they want? Why was Woor familiar to him?
It was around an hour before the door to Ahsoka's old room opened. Fives looked up from where he was sitting to see Tech slip out. He hesitated, watching the rest of the Batch to see how to react. They merely looked up, saw Tech, and returned to whatever they were doing. Fives frowned as he saw Tech's lowered eyes. He seemed embarrassed.
Tech quietly made his way across the room to where Omega was studying a datapad.
"How much progress have you made?" He asked.
"Not much." Omega said cheerfully. "I've only gotten through two more senators."
Fives shifted uncomfortably as Tech and Omega discussed her studies of the Senate. Tech had set her the task of memorizing important details of every senator and representative.
Finally Tech straightened and headed towards the kitchen. Fives got up and followed him, ignoring the sharp glare from Crosshair. Tech was unwrapping a ration bar as Fives entered.
"Hey." Fives said. The Batch had seemed very casual in their treatment of Tech.
Tech didn't look up.
"Hello." He said.
Fives took a deep breath and plunged forward.
"Look, I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't know-"
He cut himself off. Tech was still looking at the ration bar. Silence stretched between them.
"I accept your apology." Tech said.
Fives felt himself relax, though Tech still wouldn't look at him.
"You are not the only brother that has allowed me to become overwhelmed." Tech went on. "And you were unaware of the consequences. When we were younger, if the others became frustrated with me-"
He trailed off and Fives got the idea. He thought of his own frustration-fueled cruelty towards his squad.
"It won't happen again." Fives said.
"I hope not." Tech said.
They were quiet again. Tech mechanically ate his ration bar.
"I fear that I am insufficiently treating you." Tech said. "The fighting ring has caused improvement, but I do not know how to proceed."
Fives nodded. He was feeling the same way. He seemed to have stopped progressing.
"What if-" Fives hesitated, afraid to voice his fears. "What if this is as good as I can get? What if I can't get any better?"
"I do not believe so." Tech said. "I have read dozens of accounts of individuals who have gone through the same or worse as you who recovered."
"Then what do we do?" Fives asked.
Tech still did not look at Fives.
"I do not know."
Mando'a:
vod: brother
verd'ika: little warrior, Rex's nickname for Leia
karyai: main living room of a traditional north Mandalorian house - a single big chamber for eating, talking, resting, and even the last secure stronghold when under attack
Vor'e: thanks
Woor: Wind:
Ba'buir: grandparent
Oh man, lots of hard things this chapter. I'm trying to get across the duality of Rex's mind right now. It's actually in a way harder for him right now because he is more aware of how different and broken he is. Obi Wan and Kor being awkward as heck telling people that Kor is Obi Wan's son. Padme totally already knew. Anakin did not. Rex is overwhelmed. He just wants to be able to show Ahsoka how much he loves her.
And the nightmares are here! My poor sister didn't realize it was a dream while we were editing and thought that I had murdered poor little Owl.
And hey, Fives! It's been a minute. Shout out to my sister's OC, Pez! He is honestly one of my favorite characters. She, now that she no longer has pregnancy brain, has been working on her next chapter of The Will of the Force. Hopefully she'll be able to get that out soon and you will all know the glory of Pez.
I don't know what more to say about the bits about Fives, other than I think it turned out really well. Tech went into an autistic shut down rather than a melt down, which I feel fits his character better than screaming and crying...which I do. Yaaaaaaay.
And who is Woor? Hmmmmm.
Fives is lucky Crosshair didn't come down to murder him. Also I headcanon that Tech's helmet can go noise cancelling, which would help here.
How the Batch reacts to Tech coming out of the room after recovering is how I wish everyone would react to my breakdowns. It's embarrassing enough, let's not fuss over it.
Both Fives and Rex are both hitting lows. Maybe it's time for a breakthrough on someone's part?
Stay safe, remember to review, and have a great week!
