Several days go by and the Smiths, plus Carly Sally and Pinkie all go into the hiding, but unfortunately the place they've chosen in near the North Pole and they get themselves captured by some some elves, which are suddenly all shot by a mystery figure, who reveals themselves to be Michael Townley, who was saved by Dashelene and Stewie going back in time so Dash can talk Franklin into choosing ending C. However she failed to tell the other girls so they are all deeply confused, Sally even fearfully calling him a ghost, but Pinkie shushes her quietly.
"D Dad?" Carly asked in surprise which also surprises the Smiths.
"But you said..." Steve started only to be elbowed by Hayley.
"Sandy Claws after you eh? I'd love to see that fat bitch go down my chimney." Michael said, apparently having known all about Santa's true nature, even though the others hadn't til now. "Now if you want to save yourselves your gonna need guns and..." Michael started, stopping when he sees Sally still staring at him. "Okay, what?"
"I just.. I have a very distinct memory of you falling off a tower and dying."
"Hmm, doesn't sound like something I would do." Michael said rather dryly. Sally doesn't really respond, though still looking a bit creeped out.
"Wait.. Stewie." Carly said to herself, finally putting it together and whispering this to Sally once noticing how unnerved she was. Carly had been in the time machine herself. To what a gladiator fight really looked like. The other two with her.
"Now as I was saying Sandy will come for you, but I got a place for us, we will fight til morning, his powers only last christmas night."
"How do you know that?!" Stan cried in shock.
"Everyone does." Mike replied, almost annoyedly.
"Not me." Carly admitted, Pinkie seconding it.
Michael leads them all to a cabin he stored with piles of AK47's and a few RPG's, telling everyone to gear up, he himself taking the lone sniper rifle. Roger is super excited about this and says he hopes it'll be bloody.
Before long a huge army of elves arrive, some of them riding polar bears and all of them shooting at them with old Tommy guns. The good guys prove better shots between the GTA characters and Stan's CIA skills. Roger also proves, especially causes he channels Ricky Spanish for the battle.
The battle rages on as Santa himself watches from a distance, not even bothering to get his own hands dirty, though Michael does fire a shot him but he dodges and flips him off.
Pinkie still still proves to be the least skilled at a gunfight, but still manages to kill a good few with blind fire, though still, cause of this she's not truly able to protect Carly who gets herself captured by a bear and dragged over to the elves. "NO!" Pinkie cried out, only for Michael to pull her back in. "Dude save your daughter!" Stan cried to a surprisingly unconcerned Michael.
"Don't need to." Michael replied calmly.
Carly is dragged too near a shed which as soon as she is it is kicked open from the inside.
"Merry fuckin' Christmas assholes!" cried Seras Victoria, who reveals herself while spinning a minigun and opens fire, killing anyone in the immediate area, minus Carly coarse.
"Whoo, that's it Seras!" Michael cheered.
"Isn't she hot?" Michael said excitedly to Stan, referring to Seras. Stan himself doesn't reply, still wide eyed from the surprise.
Mikey having a crush on Seras is nothing new.. I just never focused on it..
