The Light did not take long to heal the injuries they had sustained since they were temporarily lightless, the trip back to the Farm allowing Rachel to spend some time to think and decompress from the almost breakneck series of events that had transpired since Ghaul took over the City.
Without the pain of once sore ribs, she actually finally had time to think, something she knew would be rather dangerous. What began to slightly rattle at her was Frank's insinuation that she had liked Shadow as more than just a partner. At least, Frank wasn't too combative about pushing the point or else she knew the pressure of what had been happening would've led her to figuratively combust in anger. What was even wrong with considering Shadow like that? No, that was getting into a rabbit hole she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to go down on, not helped by the fact that with helms off, it was rather obvious that she was deeply pursed in thought.
"You alright?" She would hear Shadow ask in the silences of travel. That took her for a loop, though she quickly tried to put her game face in front of the Exo.
"I'm fine." Rachel quickly tried to etch some sort of reassuring face on, if only to try and quell the worry on the Hunter's face. "Come on, we should head back soon. That Hawthorne chick probably has more things for us to do anyway."
"If you're sure you're okay. You know I'm here, right?" That seemed to do the trick at least.
"I know."
When she has another quiet moment alone, whenever that moment would be… she would have to interrogate Frank as to what exactly he meant by that statement, and sort out the other things she was feeling even at the very thought that she had no capacity to sort out in any fashion. All Rachel could sense at least right now was some burgeoning ember of a sentiment she could not even name. If somehow, Frank could read that as a feeling…
No, Rachel, you have really got to get out of your own head.
Frank, what the hell are you even on?...
You know what I'm on.
Rachel said nothing more as they soon got back to their landing zone, transmatting into the borrowed jumpship. The flight back to the Farm was made in silence. Arriving back at the Farm, Hawthorne made her way over, surprised at the fact they were still breathing.
"You're back. When we lost comms, we thought you were dead."
Rachel nodded at Hawthorne.
"Got pretty close."
"Did you find what you were looking for?"
Shadow nodded, holding out his hand.
"Yeah. We did. And then some."
His hand sparked with Arc Light. Hawthorne's eyes widened.
"You got your Light back."
Rachel nodded.
"We both did."
Hawthorne nodded. It was a damn good thing too. Especially since her friend went dark.
"Good thing too. We'll need it. There are more survivors out there and we need to let them know that the Farm is a safe haven. I sent out a friend of mine into the EDZ a couple hours to set up a comm network. His name is Devrim Kay. Great guy. Great shot. Don't tell him I said that though. If you give him a hand, I'd take it as a personal favor."
Shadow nodded.
"What do we know about the EDZ? Enemies, landscape?"
Hawthorne nodded.
"Follow me."
Hawthorne took them to the quote un-quote war room, and pulled up a hologram of the EDZ, explaining current movements on Cabal, Fallen, and surprisingly appearances of some Vex as well.
Shadow sighed.
"Well this will be fun."
A keen anticipation went through Shadow and Rachel's minds, but this amount of enemies of varying factions represented a problem. It was teeming with danger that could well overwhelm them both if something happened. Even with their Light back, sudden flares of potentially losing Rachel to some freak accident or a misjudged series of actions went through his mind. The fledgling Warlock showed incredible promise, but a final death was something he didn't want to chance.
"Alright. I think I can take care of helping to get your friend back. It sounds dangerous, but he needs help." He would say towards Hawthorne's way. He could see her beginning to respond with an affirmative, but not without a pointed glance from Rachel's direction.
"Excuse me, 'I?' You mean 'we' right?"
Judging from the fire beginning to resonate in her voice, this reaction was something he should've seen coming. Torn as Shadow was in relenting, there was a part of him that did not want to put her in unnecessary danger. It was not that he didn't place full trust in her capabilities, the potential she had shown itself was something incredible. However, she was still new, and to lose her especially now… no, he wasn't going to let that happen.
Not if he could help it.
"Rachel…" Hawthorne's sly grin from the corner of his optics really was not helping in trying to make a quick justification. His eyes met Rachel's expectant look. "I know I've said I wanted to keep you safe. I still do, and I trust you."
"Uh huh. Yeah, this better not be a repeat of this being too dangerous."
"However, we don't want to leave the Farm without a Guardian nearby, right? I go help Hawthorne find Devrim and you stay here to help with whatever people need. Once I'm done, then I'll regroup with you. Sound fair? I shouldn't take too long."
It was sometimes awfully difficult to read Rachel sometimes, even if she was more prone to displaying what she was feeling through her face when she wasn't necessarily paying attention to who was around her. At the very least, the expression that the Warlock had bore suggested that she was seeming to come around to the idea, hastily made as it was. It was a gamble, but he figured the Farm would be a much safer place for her than the most dangerous reaches of the European Dead Zone.
"...Alright, fair then. You're right, place does need help anyway." That was a relief, Shadow letting out an exhale he wasn't even aware he was holding in. "Next time, I am gonna push harder. I can handle myself more than fine, you know that right? I have the Light back, so…"
"I know you can. I've seen you." That seemed to placate her for now. By how much, he did not know. "It's as I said before. The EDZ is dangerous… I can't violate my oath to humanity. Plus, the people here would feel better with having you around."
That seemed to go in some way in convincing her.
"Alright, I'll take a look around to see who needs help. You better come back."
"I will. Count on it."
Shadow heard a clang from the nearby hanger and stormed off.
"You better not have dented my ship!"
Rachel snickered before turning to Hawthorne who has a knowing look on her face. Rachel blinked.
"What?"
"Nothing. Come on. Let's go find something for you to do."
Hawthorne led the way down to one of the main shelter areas, where food and drinks were being handed out and Rachel went to work, helping lightless Guardians as well as civilians. Day quickly turned to night as Rachel climbed onto a roof, staring up at the sky. Her mind dwelled on her visions from when she lost the Light.
Frank appeared alongside her.
"You okay?"
"Not really….when Ghaul…when Ghaul took the Light from me…I saw…I saw something. Visions of..I don't know what they were…I remember seeing a needle..some dirt…and a cry in the night…someone was crying my name…"
Frank looked at Rachel in concern. Clearly these visions or whatever they were were bothering his Guardian. And they bothered her extremely.
"There's…something…I haven't told you about your resurrection."
This got Rachel's attention, and she turned to look at her Ghost.
"What?"
"When…when I found you..you were buried. And not like someone was buried in a cemetery….you were buried…like you were murdered and your body was hidden."
Rachel briefly lost control of her Light, her eyes flashing dangerously purple as she reined in the Void light.
"What?"
Frank looked almost…ashamed. As if he shouldn't have kept the secret. Then again they had a pretty busy week thus far.
"That's how everything appeared to me…I don't know the circumstances of how you got there, but…everything seems to line up in that kind of situation…"
Rachel remained silent, taking in this information. She remained unflinchingly quiet, a cold stare emanating in her eyes as she tried to piece together the very brief flashes of her past that she could barely make heads and tails of. She wasn't sure if she could even look at Frank at that moment, emotions boiling into an inferno that could lead to her Light potentially spiraling out of control again. Void burned in her, entropy desiring its inevitable release. Trying to connect that fact that she seemed to be murdered in her past life, or at least… that's how it appeared to be.
How do you even take that in? She took a deep breath, trying to stop the well of emotions building up inside of her. She shook her head to at least try and stop the possibility of traitor tears, but she could feel their inescapable burning sensation. The cry for her name seemed to only grow in volume in her head, the shrill scream of someone reaching out to her somehow and begging for her seemed to grow more intense the more she continued to think about the mystery that was her past.
She needed to talk about this somehow, but with who? She took a breath, eyes slowly glancing over the guilty-looking Ghost.
"Why didn't you tell me?" The words came out of her with more harsh coldness than she intended. The enunciation was painfully slow and even biting, almost too dramatic even. However, she wasn't in a position to hold herself back as effectively as she normally could be. She could see Frank's optic gaze back into her, his shell almost lightly flinching from her tone of voice.
"Well…we have been busy…"
Rachel nodded. That was true. But still…
"Frankly…I…I didn't think it would be important…when I found you…you didn't really ask about it…I didn't want to push it…especially when I didn't have all the facts. I still don't."
"Wait..you said you had a…what was it called…"
"My rewind function?"
Rachel snapped her fingers.
"Yes. Does that do what I think it does? It can rewind time?"
Frank did the equivalent of a shrug.
"Kinda…I can't interact with anything…I'm just sorta…there, but not there?"
"But we can see the past?"
Frank bobbed.
"Yeah…Rachel…I..Guardians….sometimes it is better to leave the past where it belongs…some things are worth not knowing. And if I took you back where I found….you may find what you're looking for..but you might regret finding out the truth. Guardians never have their memories of their former lives. Dreams of them…yes, but memories…no…Exos would probably be the closest to remembering past lives, but…"
Rachel was puzzled.
"What?"
Frank sighed. Seeing as how they weren't going anywhere any time soon, Frank began his story about the Exos. How they were built and how some humans that were transferred from their human body to a robot mind could cause them to get DER.
"So…this..DER…"
"Dissociative Exomind Rejection, yes."
"It can happen to any Exo?"
"Yes. And that's why many Exo's have numbers after their names..each number means they've had a certain amount of resets. Although there's a hard limit of resets otherwise the mind of an Exo can become too unstable."
"So Shadow…."
"He's been resetted sixteen times. Each time he's forgotten something. All Exos lose memories during the reset."
Rachel tugged her legs up against herself.
"Oh God…it..that can't be good for him..one reset would be bad enough…but sixteen times? What has he gone through to deserve so many resets…"
"More than you know."
Nyte floated into view, having just returned with Shadow, who was down inspecting his ship. Nyte hovered next to Rachel.
"My Guardian has been through a lot..he's lost more than friends you can imagine. Each time, he's suffered many episodes of DER. Some more serious than others. He's one of the few Exos still around to be part of the first Gen Exos….the ones who suffered the most from DER. Despite many Exos now having familiar organic facilities inside their bodies, such as the drive to eat, or drink, Shadow refuses to get upgraded…I've tried reasoning with him…but…"
The silence after that last word left Rachel further into a state of mind she wasn't ready to navigate, Nyte's explanation inevitably leading her to have Shadow at the very forefront of her mind. It was clear, at least from how she saw it, that Nyte refused to finish that last sentence. There was a tinge of morbid curiosity in her, leaving her wanting to ask and probe further as to precisely what Shadow went through. However, there was another part of her mind that stopped her in her proverbial tracks, knowing that trying to broach further probably wouldn't be the best idea. At the very least, she began to piece together some of how Shadow would behave around her and his insistence of not wanting to lose another Guardian.
Just how many friends exactly did Shadow lose? Rachel wanted to get down to the bottom of it, to understand her new partner more. Doing so in a brash way wasn't going to help, so she stayed her tongue as she contemplated a response.
"That… explains some of his whole deal, actually." Not the most elegant response, but it was something. "I've tried to understand why he's… god I don't wanna say overly protective, but it does sometimes feel like that even if I know I can handle myself." She tried to smooth out the fire in her voice.
"He knows you can handle yourself, but it's more than just… that." Nyte continued, directing her gaze towards Rachel more fully. "There's more I can say, but it's probably for the best that you actually talk with him. I don't know about now, because I know you two are going to be busier than ever. But… I don't want to see my Guardian go through what I've seen him go through again. It hurts to see him suffer through those DER episodes. If he doesn't want to upgrade… and believe me I have tried… Rachel, I know you're likely picking up where this is heading."
"I shouldn't…" Rachel had a quip, but it was lost. She found herself at an awkward pause, her attention held by the clearly emotional Ghost in front of her. "I shouldn't be the reason Shadow goes through DER again, huh?" Her voice had softened there, leaving her to tug her legs further into herself.
How strange that in her short life as a risen thus far, she felt at her most vulnerable in this quiet moment.
"...Yes, Rachel. He doesn't want to lose anyone. He doesn't want to lose you, especially. I've never seen him worried in such a long while when you were… out for a few days."
A part of that almost made Rachel smile. Not necessarily for causing Shadow to worry, but… there was something about his care that began to just slowly but surely affect how she would see him. Thanking him for rescuing her in that junkyard was only the first step, but maybe there was more she could do to show her appreciation for the Hunter that had been more than willing to mentor her thus far. She dreaded the day when she would need to have a conversation like this with Shadow, but she knew it would have to happen eventually. She sighed as she slowly began to unfurl herself from her position, gazing towards the night sky.
"Maybe I should be a bit less of a shit to him," Rachel almost wanted to chuckle when she saw Nyte bob vigorously in agreement. "I owe him… something like this. Not now, but… soon. For now, I'll just look at the stars until we have to turn in or go. Sound good?"
As she gazed into the heavens, there was something… beautiful about them. It was a feeling she could not describe, some echo of her past that she didn't understand at that moment. Yet, as she emerged from the intensity of learning about her own past and about Shadow's, there was a hope that she began to see in the skies above.
Shadow transmatted in.
"Have I got news for you!"
The Exo's almost cheerful way of delivering such a statement led Rachel away from her thoughts, being a respite that she needed away from the conversation she was having with Nyte. However, she also wished that the very person who would break through the thicket of such intense emotions did not have to be Shadow. She shook her head out of her stupor, hoping to detach her mind from the dissonance of it all. What did Shadow have in mind? Enough time had been spent thinking and she knew that the time to focus was nigh.
"What?" Rachel asked, "What's the big news, then?" Given how sudden Shadow's appearance was, it had to have been something quite big.
"More than big, Rachel. While I was out there helping Devrim and Hawthorne, Nyte and I found a transmission signal from Zavala of all people, all the way on Titan."
All thoughts of exploring the past washed away from Rachel's mind at that moment, the reappearance of the Commander and the Titan Vanguard being something that could change the tide of the war depending on how things shook out.
"Wait, that dude? Big blue? He's actually?... fuck, if that's him. Shouldn't we go help out? What was he saying?" It was a million questions a minute, with Shadow nodding at the first few ones.
"He's alive. He made it out of the City and he's asking every available Guardian to rally with him on Titan. It will be dangerous, but…" Shadow paused there, gazing at Rachel with a solemn expression. "As far as I know, we're the only two Guardians that carry the Light with them still. If anyone can help him, it'll have to be us."
Inevitably, it would also mean having to leave behind the Farm. Rachel had a feeling that someone like Hawthorne would not exactly be happy at these turn events. Hesitant as she was to suddenly drop everything and go, especially having helped the citizenry in slower moments while Shadow was gone, there was no denying that this could turn the tide of the hopeless war that they found themselves in. This was one of those cases where there was really no debating the course of action, it was just a matter of figuring out what to do once they got there.
"If that's actually him, and I believe so, all things considered… When do you wanna leave?" Rachel sighed as she finally sat up. "Probably sooner than later I think. What did Hawthorne think of the whole thing?" She could see Shadow nod in response.
"You're right." Rachel could see Shadow's eyes blink at the second question, before he gazed downwards. "Hawthorne… didn't take it well. She doesn't want us to leave, and I get why. But… We can't just ignore Zavala either, not when there's a chance we could do something. We should leave as soon as we can. When you and I are probably better well rested."
"Yeah, probably a good idea." Rachel's voice became distant there for a few moments, catching Shadow's attention.
"You… alright? You seem out of it," Shadow asked.
"I'm fine," Rachel retorted back immediately. "Come on, we should get some shuteye."
It's not that she didn't want to talk to Shadow about what had been weighing on her mind. However, she knew that now was not the time to do so. The stars kept beckoning for her and her past, and so she would soon want to ask Shadow about what happened to him. However, she could only hope that there would be time for the future.
Titan awaited instead.
The next morning came, and Rachel was up early, watching the sun start to peak over the horizon. Shadow came to her side, taking in the morning air.
"You ready for this?"
"I have to be. We have to be."
Shadow nodded. It was going to be a long ride.
"Alright. Let's get going. Nyte?"
Nyte appeared.
"Yes, Boss?"
"Let's go."
"Activating transmat."
The two Guardians and their Ghosts were transported into the Night Fury. Landing in the cargo bay, Shadow made his way towards the cockpit, starting the ship up as it coughed.
"Oh come on, you piece of shit!"
He slammed the ignition, and the ship started with a roar.
"I'll have to fix it later."
Shadow brought the ship into orbit and activated the jump drive.
"Alright. Course set for Titan."
The ship was able to make its way to a world covered and drenched in methane. The Night Fury would quickly make its way towards the coordinates that Zavala sent, thoughts and lamentations of aiding the Farm when they likely would've needed it most occasionally pouring through the silences of the trip. However, any second thoughts of going back were quickly washed away as the Night Fury eventually began its planetary approach to Titan, sights of a planet coated in green appearing in the horizon.
Torrents of methane rain began to pepper the ship as what Shadow and Rachel would see where the raging tides of Titan's oceans. Nyte would begin to establish contact with Zavala, hoping that plans of a possible counter-offensive would be brought into fruition.
"Vanguard Fleet: this is the Night Fury on approach. We received your beacon and we're ready to join the fight."
However, the next message was one that no one wanted to hear.
"Night Fury, this is Zavala. It's too late. The Hive have overrun Titan. I was wrong to bring us here…"
Rachel and Shadow transmatted out and landed on a pier. The wind howled as they stood in the open.
"Commander," Nyte replied. "We're here to help!"
Zavala's authoritative voice came across the channel.
"No! We've already lost too many Lightless Guardians to the Hive. We can't secure this moon!"
Frank chimed in.
"We have our Light back."
"What? Impossible."
Another voice joined the comms. This one was female and she too had an authoritative tone to her voice, but also a slight softness to it.
"Commander? If I may? Guardian, this is Deputy Commander Sloane. We have a counter-offense to plan. To do that, we need to get this station up and running."
As Sloane talked, Rachel and Shadow quickly moved to the transmission source. They jumped over several broken walkways and pipes to move forward. As Rachel jumped across to one platform, she fell short, nearly falling as she grabbed a broken handrail.
"Shadow!"
"Rachel!"
Shadow grabbed her hand and pulled her up. As he did Rachel pushed with her legs, knocking them over into each other, Rachel sitting astride his waist.
"Umm….th..thank you."
She shimmied off him and stood, taking his hand to help him up.
"Come on. Let's keep moving."
Rachel tried to shake off the sudden rush of emotions that went through her head, making sure to keep herself focused on the mission that lay ahead. As they moved through the imposing platforms of what once was a proud moon of the Golden Age, it was clear to see just how deeply rooted the Hive infestation was.
Shadow and Rachel would fight through hordes of Hive, thralls, acolytes, and even knights aplenty as Frank would pick up that they were performing some kind of ritual. Regardless of what it was, they had to keep pushing onwards towards the control center. After moments of fighting through darkened corridors infested with Hive, they would emerge into an opening where the station that Sloane was speaking of was not too far.
"There's the Control Center!" Frank would say through the comms.
"Clear the area so we can move in," crackled the resolute voice of Sloane.
Entering a nearby room, the two Guardians were greeted with several Hive and glowing yellow pods.
"It looks like we're in some kind of…Hive breeding ground," said Nyte.
Zavala's voice came over the comms, cold.
"Take. It. Out."
Rachel opened fire on the pods, the yellow blobs exploding. Goo flew everywhere. Shadow nodded as they cleared out the nest.
"Cleared the nest. Heading to the control center now."
As they headed to the control center, a shriek went out.
"Wizards. We got to move!"
Shadow charged forward with Rachel at his side. Rachel could feel the Void light churn inside her, bubbling up to the surface as her hands and eyes started glowing purple. The anger, the rage, the helplessness of losing her Light, and the fact that humanity was at risk of losing everything filled her entire being as she screamed, a purple ball of light bursting from her hands as it vaporized everything in front of them. No Hive survived the onslaught.
Nyte, Frank, and Shadow looked at Rachel in shock. Frank called in.
"Ah….Sloane…we did it."
"That was fast. Zavala and I are inbound. We'll meet you at the landing platform. Get up here and take a bow."
Rachel shakily followed Shadow up to the landing platform. A woman in Titan gear, presumably Sloane ran past them and into the control center. Zavala turned to face Shadow and Rachel, confusion on the Awoken's face.
"Two Guardians? I thought there was only one."
Shadow and Rachel removed their helmets. Shadow nodded at Zavala.
"Commander. This is Rachel Amber. She's a Greenhorn. A bit inexperienced but I've taken her under my wing. As her Ghost stated, we have our Light back."
Zavala paused in thought, looking at Rachel and then at Shadow.
"I didn't dare believe that one Guardian…let alone two…if the Light can find it's way back to you, then perhaps there is hope for us all."
He turned to face the open landscape.
"Our numbers continue to dwindle. We can no longer protect ourselves, much less the survivors."
He looked at his hand.
"And without the Light…are we even Guardians anymore?"
Shadow was concerned. He had never seen Zavala this….depressed before. It was like he had given up hope. Like it was over before it all began. He steeled himself. He was about to say something when Rachel spoke up.
"Commander."
Zavala looked at his closed fist before letting his arm drop. He turned to face Rachel.
"We won't last long with dead generators," Zavala said as he made his way closer to the two Guardians. "Wave energy converters power this station. But thanks to the Hive, they're in need of…attention."
Rachel nodded at Zavala.
"We can take care of it."
"Yes…I believe you two can."
