Obi-Wan Kenobi reached the comm station, convinced the attendants that he was a Jedi and put through a call to the Jedi Temple on Corruscant.
After a few torturous minutes waiting while the hypercom connection established itself he was answered by Master Yoda.
"Something to report have you Obi-Wan?" asked Yoda.
"There has been a great disturbance in the Force. I believe it involves Anakin." said Obi-Wan.
The image of Yoda nodded, "Profess his love for Amidala, finally did he?"
"What!"
"So surprised you are. As Qui-Gon's former apprentice, know you must his belief the Chosen One, Anakin is." said Yoda.
"But that's just a legend! Anakin is powerful, but you cannot ascribe myths to him. Half the Order would be Chosen Ones." said Obi-Wan.
Yoda shook his head, "Wrong! Not half. All Jedi Chosen Ones are."
"Oh come on! I'll admit to being chosen by the Force if that's what you mean, but you cannot be serious that there is some mouldy old text describing me." protested Obi-Wan.
"The most Beautiful and Perfect one should read the Limamorian. That there are no lips, nor eyes or heart in all creation that will cause you to abandon your duty." said Yoda.
"Most Beautiful and Perfect?" said Obi-Wan.
"Women mostly, those who prophesy about you are. Admirers throughout all recorded history you have. Their combined opinion, accept you must." said Yoda.
"Okay, what about Master Windu?"
"The Pillar of the Republic,"
"Plo Koon?"
"The Friend of Many,"
"Cin Drallig?"
"The Mirrored Blade."
"Tali Wen?"
"The sixth Dancer in the Light."
"Okay, that young Togruta, Ahsoka."
"Test me, think you can? Much, there is written of The Fulcrum."
"And so Anakin?"
"He is simply The Chosen One, of all the chosen ones."
"And that means what, exactly?"
"The most succinct description is to be found in the Journal of the Whills. Summary of which I shall brief make," said Yoda before beginning.
Meanwhile the Chosen One was receiving some unusual advice from Millicent Young, a woman who had totally failed to register in any prognostication, and she had checked
"Fall over?" said Anakin a little confused.
Millicent nodded, "Flat on your face, into mud preferably although we do have that chocolate river handy," she said.
"Okay. Um, why?" said Anakin.
"Because from what I have read you and Padme idolised each other. Each of you saw the other as some perfect creature entirely divorced from reality. That led to a catastrophe, which I won't get into here. Just remember she's human, as are you." said Millicent.
"But," began Anakin.
"Look, I know what you're going through. I've done it myself. Fortunately, the Galaxy didn't go up in flames because I was an idiot about Lance. You, however, look, Padme farts, swears when she stubs her toe and will puke her guts out when she gets morning sickness," said Millicent.
"Morning sickness? I just kissed her, I promise," said Anakin.
Millicent put her hand to her mouth, "Oops. Sure, this time. Yes, the Naboo have this weird preference for body births. I swear, half your future goes away if you insist on a replicator. But anyway, back to the topic at hand. You both need to see each other as fallible. So Anakin Skywalker-Katarn I want a near-perfect pratfall in your future, preferably when Padme is the nearest woman to render assistance."
Millicent made it back to the booth, accessed the cooler and poured herself a triple scotch.
"Young people are such idiots," she announced as she sunk into a chair and looked at the drink.
Palpatine raised an eyebrow, "Really, Miss Young?" he said.
Millicent sat up, "Yes, really. There ought to be a law against Humans falling in love before their brains start working,"
"Hmm, that could well lead to our extinction dear. Our two heroes not cooperating?"
"Yes. Anakin is being such a, such a, hero about this,"
"Well, he is one. Where you're going wrong is by appealing to his common sense, which alas he lacks. Rookie mistake,"
"Rookie mistake?"
Palpatine smiled and opened the cooler, withdrawing a bottle inside of which bubbled a green liquid. "Even heroes have digestive tracts,"
Millicent peered at the contents, it resembled every other soft drink as far as she could tell. "What is it?"
"A curious refreshment from a small moon near Titan Major. You don't see anything odd my dear?" said Palpatine.
Millicent looked again, but if there was anything special about the clear green bubbling liquid, she didn't see it. She shook her head.
"Nothing at all?"
Again she shook her head.
"Well, tomorrow will be a most enlightening day for all when we serve it as refreshment." said Palpatine.
Inside the bottle the bubbles continued to fizz downwards.
The next day saw Millicent stagger into the the booth in the act of holding her nose, her face flushed. After closing the door she took her hand away from her face and began laughing uncontrollably.
"I gather that the frobscottle had the desired effect?" said Palpatine mildly.
