I am back! You can put down the pitch forks now, or maybe you still want to stab me, understandable. The long missing chapter 13 is here. Life happened, writer's block but I didn't want to give up on this story. I do loving writing it and I hope you all still enjoy it. This is a long chapter yet I still couldn't fit everything I wanted to cover in it, the characters kept writing themselves so to speak. Don't worry, there will be proper action and a jump so Empire Strikes Back won't be far away. I am sorry for the wait and hope you're ready to follow Willow on her journey so far. Apologies for the spelling and grammar mistakes.
Chapter 13 The Lightsaber
Training continued.
Hours of learning hand to hand combat made Will disgruntled and sore. Her body ached when she went to bed at night, and when she woke in the morning. Will sat in a corner of the combat training room as she took a breather, listening to the sound of laughter from Rebels on their free periods work out, having fun. She sighed. Today, some of the group had taken to mocking her thin stature, her clumsy movements. A breeze and Will would fall over, they would say, loudly enough that she could hear. Will knew it wasn't all about strength, it was about technique and sometimes just plain luck, but she wished she were naturally stronger, bigger, big enough to push them back when they shoved her out of the way like she was nothing. The instructor called break to an end, Will picked herself up, bracing herself again.
Leia was a pretty good teacher, she wasn't a marksman, her words, but she knew her way around a blaster. It was extra practice. Will trained with other Rebels with an instructor then practiced with Leia during a standard evening on the fleet when she had free periods, showing Leia what she learnt. Han wandered in one lesson and what Will could only describe happened was like watching a weird animal documentary of a male trying to impress a female whilst both pretended not to be interested. Will casually slipped out of the room during a moment of Leia's and Han's typical heated arguments and was down the corridor before she heard Leia calling her name when she realised she had left. Will shook her head and decided she had enough of people that day and retreated to her room.
Flight simulator practice with Zak was something Will looked forward to during her schedule. Will practically skipped to the practice room when halfway down the corridor she bumped into the very person she was going to meet.
"Hey Zak." Will greeted happily.
"Oh, hey Willow. Glad I caught you," Zak said. "Listen, sorry for the short notice, but practice is off today, I've been assigned a job to do."
"Oh." Will uttered despondently. Her mood suddenly souring. Zak apologised again. "No, it's okay," Will brushed him off. "I get it."
"Thanks." said Zak. "Catch up another time."
"Another time." Will agreed.
"I know you're disappointed, little one, but try not to miss me too much." Zak teased, dodging Will's hand as she tried to smack him.
"Shut up!" Will snapped, feeling her face heat up.
XXX
Will removed her shoes, sighing as she sat on the edge of her bed, gazing out the window. In the distance, an X-Wing flew past, it was nothing more than a small dot, like a shooting star, but Will was familiar enough now with the sight to make out the shape and movements of it. Gliding silently across the vacuum of space. Her thoughts drifted to Luke.
He promised to take her out on a spin sometime in his X-Wing.
Will sighed again and flopped back on the bed.
This time she tried to not let it get to her. He'd come back, she knew, she hoped, another week or two, maybe three, or perhaps a month… She missed Luke and part of her hated him for that, but mainly Will hated herself. In the beginning it was hard, trapped on a starship; the feeling of futuristic type steel under her feet, filtered air, she was sure the water was also filtered and recycled. She missed the feeling of the wind in her face, the sound of nature, the feel of grass between her toes.
Will dreamed of grassy slopes, an island surrounded by an ocean. This time, for the first time, she stood firmly on the ground amongst the stone huts. The wind bit at her skin suddenly, a harsh blow as the sunlight dimmed behind grey clouds that threatened to rain.
XXX
"What does she even do around here?"
Will did her best to ignore the hush whisper that flies above her head, instead engrossing herself in a datapad.
"Not sure, came with LieutenantSkywalker. Behind the scenes stuff I think." Someone whispered back.
"Skywalker?"
"Yeah. Nothing like him though, doesn't talk much besides to him, keeps to herself."
Will can't make out the rest of the conversation as the noise from the recreation deck drowns out the whispers from the passing men.
She rolled her eyes. They love to whisper. Everyone knows someone that knows someone's else business, or relationship. Or so they claim.
XXX
"There are some nosy people around here." Will ranted, leaning against the underside of the Falcon's ramp.
Chewie roared in acknowledgement as he blowtorched an area of the ship. The Falcon received it's share of damage in Han's latest smuggling job. Said smuggler could be heard yelling from inside the ship to his co-pilot. Chewbacca angrily howled back, pausing in his repairs. Will paid no heed to their antics.
"The pilots are the worst!" Will continued, frustrated. "Betting who's going to sleep together, or who's going to wash out of the Rebellion. And if I get asked one more question abo – "
Chewie had stopped what he was doing, setting his tools down, and patted Will on the head, effectively cutting off her rant as she looked up at him in exasperation at his attempt at comfort.
Will sighed, allowing herself to briefly be hugged by the lumbering Wookiee.
"Lots of Rebels are afraid of you, and maybe I was when I met you," said Will. Chewie barked out a laugh, cocking his head and eyeing Will with disbelieving eyes. "I'm not still afraid of you, I promise." Will said, returning his gaze earnestly. "Really you're just a big softie."
"That 'big softie' used to eat people, you know." Han called loudly from somewhere inside the Falcon, his footsteps echoed.
"What?" Will said, instinctively stepping back, eyes wide.
Chewie howled, turning his head, he growled angrily in Han's direction, shaking a furry paw.
"Chewbacca! Is it true?" said Will, voice turning a higher pitch than normal. Truly, she was speechless.
Will couldn't remember if the original movies ever covered that.
The Wookiee made a series of grunts, rolling his shoulders before he turned his attention to roaring Han out.
"Okay, sorry, quit your yappin'," Han could be heard saying. "I'm sorry. I'm sure she still likes you."
Will couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
XXX
"So, this is where you sleep?" Will half asked, half clarified as Zak lead her through the bunk pods.
Will had never been down this end before now. She had no need until Zak invited her to spend time with him and his pilot mates. She knows Luke wanders down here, him being a lieutenant and all, hanging out with his squadron.
"Yup," Zak popped the 'p'.
Will awkwardly sat on the edge of the bunk, swinging her legs. She surveyed the room. It was a long stretch, longer than it was wider, rows of the pod shaped bunks cut from walls; it seemed to be a recurring design theme of this universe, Will noted idly, little ladders to climb to the higher ones. She mentally sends a thankful prayer to Luke, for if it wasn't for him, she would be sleeping in similar accommodation.
"Who's this? Another new one?" A male Rebel asked.
It took Will several seconds to realise he was talking about her. She looked up and blinked at the man who appeared to be occupying the bunk not far from Zak. The Rebel pilot as indicated by his uniform – the top half of which was unzipped and hanging at his waist – eyed Willow with a mildly interested gaze.
"No." Zak answered for Will. "Well, joined during the battle of Yavin." he clarified.
"I have my own room." Will added, addressing the man. He raised brushy eyebrow in response and looked her up and down. Will shifted, glancing at Zak.
"Huh," the pilot grunted, again eyeing her once over, lingering on her basic rank chip displayed on her uniform, then her red shoes instead of boots. Will could see the clogs turning in his head. "I see." he said, a subtle shift in his expression that made Will frown in confusion.
He turned away, slinking to his bed. Will and Zak shared a look before the latter shrugged.
"Want to join?" Zak nodded towards a group in the middle of the space, playing a card game.
Will wondered why she agreed to join Zak. This wasn't her type of thing. "Thought there was a no alcohol rule." she stated, warily eyeing the booze.
"Oh, little one, you should know what us pilots are like," Zak smiled and winked at her. Will rolled her eyes.
"I fear you guys are rubbing off on Luke." Will remarked.
Zak scoffed. "I don't know Luke very well, but I don't see the guy drinking often." he said.
Will hummed. "I meant the cocky attitude."
"Now I don't know about that, you on the other hand…" Zak said, the mirth evident in the tone.
"Piss off, I'm sweet." said Will. Zak chuckled.
"Come on," he beckoned with a tilt of the head, "You said you wanted to try and socialize."
Will sighed, already regretting her decision. Zak smiled encouragingly at her, and Will's stomach fluttered. She suddenly remembered why she agreed.
XXX
Will sniffed, trying in vain to wipe the snot with the cuff of her sleeve. She curled tighter into a ball, huddled into the corner of a small, dark supply closet. Little hiccupping breathes escaped her lips as she cried quietly. The sound of boots marching past echoed beyond the door, making Will tense. Voices drifted. Will had desperately, and unsuccessfully, tried to block the entrance to the closet. Nothing large enough to push in front, and she didn't know the key code to lock it.
Fresh tears ran down her cheeks as Will sobbed. Fingernails digging painfully into her arms as she buried her head in her knees. She couldn't stop them from flowing. Her chest felt constricted, her fingers tingled. Will uncurled, slumping against the wall, legs stretched out as far as they could in such a space. Her gleaming eyes stared sightlessly into the dark. She sniffed again, face damp.
I hate you! I hate you!
Why are you like this? Why I am like this?
You can't do anything right!
Will squeezed her eyes shut briefly, the little voice in her head, the thoughts were too loud. She wanted it to stop but she deserved this, didn't she? To feel this way.
She hit herself on the thigh with her fist. She winced at the pain, but she did it again, and again, and again. She shook her hand out as it ached. The pain made her feel a little better, until the hollowness settled over her. Will groaned, a desperate low cry that vocalized some of her raw emotions.
She tensed, holding her breath as a voice sounded too close, and for a heart lurching moment Will thought someone was going to walk in, but the footsteps walked past, and the voice drifted away.
Will ran her hand over her face, wiping the tears, then she fisted her hair, tugging on the strands for a moment before breathing deeply, regaining her composure. Will shakily stood up, wiped her face one last time before mentally bracing herself and stepping towards the door. It opened with a whoosh, she stepped out, blinking at the brightness of the open corridor.
She took a deep breath and went back to her routine.
Will didn't make it as far as she'd like before someone wanted her attention.
"Will?"
Will froze like a deer in headlights. Oh no she thought. A ship as big as the Fleet was, somehow, she always managed to run into the people she wanted to avoid.
"Yeah?" Will said, risking a glance over her shoulder to Leia.
"I was wondering where you were hiding," said Leia in a slightly stern tone. She paused in her stride as her dark eyes roamed over the other girl in one analytical sweep.
Will felt naked. Leia had an uncanny ability to read people. She wondered sometimes if it was skill Leia acquired, or her undiscovered Force sensitivity manifesting in such a way. Although, Will knew, her face told the whole story.
"Are you alright?" Leia tilted her head, dark brows furrowed in concern.
Will nodded.
"Did something happen?" Leia pressed. She took a step closer. The red rim around Will's eyes became more noticeable, as her flushed cheeks and pink tipped nose. "Will, what's wrong?"
She did sound concerned, Will thought. She looked it too. Will found herself shaking her head. There were so many words inside her head right now. She didn't know what to say. So many conflicting feelings pulling her in different directions, she felt she was going to tear in half.
"You can tell me." Leia said gently.
She was reaching out, as a friend perhaps. But how could she tell her what she was feeling? Leia wouldn't like to hear what Will was feeling. She'd send her to the doctor. Will darted her eyes off Leia's shoulder, mustering the courage to at least look her in the eyes.
"There's nothing to tell." Will said finally. Softly but with an edge Leia recognised, as well as the words repeated now to her own face from that night on Yavin Four.
Leia averted her gaze down as she thought to herself. "If you change your mind, I'm here." Leia said finally, looking at Will once more.
Will glanced away for a moment. Nodding again her understanding.
XXX
"Skywalker is back."
Will glanced up, taken by surprise at the voice. A young Rebel man, boy, really, around her age, was looking at her as he walked past with a smile. Will frowned until she realised he was talking to her, she opened her mouth, then promptly closed it, frowning again, before her face lit up with realisation when his words fully registered in her brain.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, "That's great!" Will smiled, genuinely. She stopped in her stride.
The Rebel boy beamed at her over his shoulder.
"Thanks… then." said Will frowning briefly in confusion at this random stranger.
He walked on and went out of sight. Will mused to herself for a moment. Random people knowing exactly who she was, was weird.
Luke's back!
Will grinned. She felt her body tingle in anticipation. She made a dart for it down the corridor, slipping and weaving out of people's way. Will raced in the direction of the landing bay, nearly colliding head on with a Rebel tech woman forced Will to a skidding stop.
"Watch it!" the woman barked.
"Sorry," Will said breezily, quickly moving past. The woman shook her head in dismay, muttering under her breath.
Will emerged into an open area, bustling with people and droids and everything in between. She slowed in her stride, reason finally telling her to slow down, and her panting breathes made her cringe.
Don't look too desperate, what if Han sees? Will thought. Or everybody else.
She walked the rest of the way. Although if there was a skip to her steps Will didn't notice. She made it to the hangar bay, rows of starships, it took a moment of searching. Will lingered near the wall, hidden behind crates, eyes roaming, the hanger was busy as usual. She ducked behind a Y-Wing, peeking out. Her nerves suddenly bubbling, Will could barely stand still.
She spots him. Luke. Will can't help the smile that lights up her face. His hair is ruffled from his helmet, perhaps a little scruffier, otherwise he looks the same. Safe, uninjured. Mission gone well it appeared. He's smiling, Will just makes out his mouth moving, there is several pilots patting his shoulder as they pass. Will makes a hesitant step forward, intending to walk over and greet him – then she sees her.
Coming into view is that woman Luke went along with. Will had almost forgotten. Nakari Kelen. She's laughing, and Luke is laughing along with her. Will didn't know how to feel, or why she suddenly froze.
She watched from a distance as the pair walked close together, Artoo trilling behind them, deep in conversation as they made their way to the command to report back on their mission.
Will tried to muster up the courage to follow, say a quick hello to Luke, she got halfway before her nerves won out. Probably best to leave them alone, she thought. She'll only intrude.
XXX
"Willow!"
Will turned, looking startled for a second. She didn't need to look twice however, as a familiar face was jogging to meet her.
"Luke." said Will.
Luke came to a stop before her, a beaming smile graced his lips. He hadn't even changed from his flight suit. Dimly, Will noted Nakari's presence a few feet away.
"Welcome back." Will greeted, with a bashful smile. She didn't know if she should hug him again, especially in public.
"I hope you weren't avoiding me again like before," Luke joked quietly. Behind him, Nakari quirked an eyebrow, watching the exchange curiously.
Will awkwardly fidgeted, looking at the buttons on his suit. She shook her head. "Course not," she muttered softly. It was a lie, of course. "Didn't know you were back yet."
Luke nodded sceptically, staring at Will as if he was waiting for her to say something. Will stared at Luke, waiting for him to say something. The moment stretched out.
Hug him.
Will bit her lip, keenly aware of others walking by.
"Mission went well then?" Will asked. Luke peered over his shoulder at Nakari who shrugged with a tired smile. Will's eyes narrowed, glancing between the pair. Luke turned back to Will.
"Not too bad." he answered.
"Miss me at all then?" Will asked with an air of playfulness. Although, she wouldn't pretend, a part of her wondered if he really did.
Luke grinned. "Oh," he said dramatically, eyeing her with that familiar gaze, "Of course I did, Willow."
He seemed sincere. Will couldn't help the grin that bloomed across her face, and she wasn't blushing, she told herself.
"Good. Well, I am glad you're not dead." Will said, patting his upper arm in a slightly awkward manner. Luke chuckled.
"You're welcome," he said, "It was the least I could do." he teased with an eye roll.
Luke shifted on his feet. A hopeful, questioning expression in his eyes. He opened his arms, moving closer in what Will realised was for a hug.
Will sighed, "Alright then." she whispered. She fell into Luke's arms. Will had to briefly adjust due to the uncomfortable piece of front gear on his orange flight suit sticking out.
Will breathed into the puffy material of his collar, arms wrapping over his neck. She suddenly forgot about everyone else. In this brief moment, Luke was all that mattered.
She swallowed down all the different sensations that threatened to bombard her.
It felt weird like before, wrong, but right again, and warm. Why was it so confusing, Will thought? Luke hugged as if it was easy as breathing, perhaps it was. Touch came naturally to Luke. Will both envied and loved him for that.
"You smell like an X-Wing," Will murmured. She felt Luke's laughter vibrate through her, his breath ghosting across her neck as he ducked his head.
"I wasn't flying in an X-Wing." Luke corrected, whispering into her ear.
Will couldn't hide the way her body naturally tensed in response to the feeling of his breath tickling her ear, or the small shudder that passed through her. She hoped Luke didn't notice.
"Whatever. Smell like space and ships." mumbled Will affectionately. Luke knew a lot of different types of ships, and he was teaching her about different ones.
Luke held her tighter.
"I missed you." Luke said again.
Will's chest flustered, feeling relief and happiness fill her spirit at his words.
"I missed you too, Luke." Will replied, hugging him back with just as much vigour. She couldn't quite contain the sudden rush of emotions that she was experiencing.
Will broke the hug, to her surprise, she didn't want to let go but she had to, she told herself. It wouldn't be called a hug if you didn't let go. Maybe a cuddle. It was only a few seconds she reasoned, yet it was still too much to handle. She felt like she was going to burst. Will's mind wandered until Luke snapped her out of her thoughts again. Luke was good at doing that.
"Mess hall?" Luke asked. Given that was the direction Will was heading in.
"Sure." Will nodded, "You not going to change?" she asked.
Luke shook his head, messy blond locks whip around as he does. "Later. I'm hungry. Are you joining Nakari?"
"I think I'll take a shower first," Nakari said, "You can save me leftovers."
"You bet." Luke replied.
"See you later," said Nakari, smirking, an expression which Luke returned. Then Nakari's sharp eyes landed on Will. "Nice to see you again, Willow."
Will bit her lip, becoming shy again. She gave an awkward wave and a nod. Luke found her reaction amusing.
"She's shy." Luke clarified to Nakari with a grin.
"I noticed," the woman remarked dryly. Will glowered at a random point down the corridor, not looking at either of them as they stared at her with obvious amusement. "I'm sure we'll talk properly in the near future." Nakari continued.
Will briefly met her gaze; she saw genuine interest shining on the other woman's eyes. Will nodded and smiled politely, suddenly remembering her rude introduction when they first meet. Will wanted to run and hid.
Luke laughed again. "Don't worry, she did the same thing to Han – "
"Okay!" Will interrupted loudly. She pulled on Luke's sleeve, attempting to tug him along. "That's enough about me. Let's go, I'm hungry. See ya around." Will directed the last part to Nakari.
XXX
"You have quite the adventures." Will said, as Luke finished recounting his mission with Nakari. "Hopefully I'll go on one someday." she said whimsically.
Luke hummed. He lay on his bed, hands behind his head, resting against the pillow. Content. Will lay beside him, stretching her legs. It was just the two of them, finally.
"How have you been?" Luke asked, tilting his head slightly to look at her better.
Will shrugged. "The usual." she answered.
"That's not much of an answer," Luke huffed. "Come on, how've you really been?" he pressed.
He looked at her earnestly, and with that same expression of concern she has seen many times. Will sighed. She knew Luke wanted to talk, a real talk, that involved her expressing her feelings. It was too late in the day for that. He only came back.
"There's not much to tell on my end. More training, learning slowly. Leia's extra help is good. Han and Chewie are entertaining, when they're around."
"That's good." Luke nodded, a smirk ghosted across his face at the mention of Han and Chewie's antics. He knew well.
"Not as fun around here without you." Will confessed, averting her gaze shyly. Luke smirked boyishly.
A content silence fell between them then. Will flicked her eyes to Luke again, he appeared to be deep in thought, biting his lip. She wanted to ask what he was thinking about before she broke out in a yawn.
Will suddenly realised how tired she was.
"I guess I better head, nearly curfew." said Will trying to stifle another yawn.
Luke snapped out of his thoughts, focusing again. "Oh, okay. Goodnight, Willow." he said, gazing at her softly.
He looked as exhausted as she felt, perhaps more so, she could see it around his eyes, yet he still maintained an easy nature. He sat up straighter as Will made to get up.
"You don't need to walk me to my room again, Luke." Will said, fighting the urge to roll her eyes but nonetheless she found herself smiling tenderly. "I'm perfectly capable of that. And you're tired."
"It's okay," Luke shook his head, already standing up. This time Will did roll her eyes, good-natured, however. "I can see you out."
Luke walked Will to his door. He padded in the code, and it whooshed up. Will looked out, seeing her room easily from his. It made her happy for some reason. She glanced up at Luke, catching him already staring at her.
Will bit her lip, butterflies fluttered in her stomach, her chest tightened. She couldn't work out the expression on his face. They hovered for a moment, almost waiting. Waiting for what? Will thought.
"I can walk the rest of the way," Will said, "Thanks for seeing me out." She felt breathless suddenly.
"Anytime," Luke replied. He shifted slightly, glancing down at the floor briefly before meeting her eyes again. "Goodnight, Willow." he bid, raising his arm and affectionately brushing a hand down her upper arm.
Will stiffened in reaction at the contact. Goosebumps broke over her skin under her t shirt. It felt overwhelming, icky, she grimance yet her heart ached at the gesture.
"Oh," Luke exclaimed. Blue eyes wide, he withdrew his hand back slightly, suddenly realising his gesture. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make y-"
"It's okay." Will quickly cut him off. "I can't help it," she explained. Luke averted his gaze, embarrassed. Will hesitantly reached out; Luke followed the act out of the corner of his eye as she grabbed his hand. "I don't mind as much. It's only you." She said then, smiling reassuringly. "You've done it a few times before actually."
"Oh." Luke blushed. That awkward farm boy was there.
His hand was warm, Will noted. She squeezed; Luke squeezed back.
"Goodnight, Luke." Will uttered. She was very glad she could say that again. She missed this routine. "See you in the morning."
"Goodnight." he said again.
"That's three times you've said that." Will pointed out.
Luke fumbled, "Um, sorry?" He scratched the back of his head with his other hand, ruffling his hair. Will shook her head fondly. Luke sheepishly grinned. "Why are you counting?" he shot back.
"I don't know!" Will squeaked, giggling suddenly. Luke puffed an amused breath, relaxing. Pleasant warmth spread through her bones, and Will wondered, if he could feel it too.
They settled and she reluctantly stepped back, feeling his fingers slip away from hers as she walked towards her room, leaving his warmth. Turning only when she entered, Will couldn't help but smile again when Luke still hovered, watching her.
"Go to bed." Will ordered.
Luke half smirked. "See you in the morning."
A wave and his door whooshed shut, cutting off the artificial light, leaving the corridor a little darker.
Will stood there for a few more seconds before closing her door. She stared out the window as she got into bed. She felt cold.
XXX
Will did see Nakari around the following day. A lot, in fact. With Luke. They had developed quite the close friendship. Will didn't mind, at least she told herself. Luke has many friends, (a few enemies too, including the Empire, which was quite a big enemy mind you) but many friends. Casual pilot friends, he had good friends like Wedge and a few others – perhaps they were great friends. Then he had close friends like Han, Leia, Chewie, friends that were also like family. Will hoped Luke considered her a close friend, she should ask him sometime. Nakari appeared to be a close friend.
Will shouldn't be worried she thinks, when the other woman is now that their table, chatting on and on with Luke. Little inside jokes and things Will didn't understand.
Will adverted her gaze and munched on her food, grimacing still at some of the bizarre textures. She listened to them, sometimes asking questions.
This was a potentially unexpected development in her routine, Will thought.
XXX
"So, is that jacket a thing now?"
Luke blinked in confusion. He cocked his head at her. "What do you mean?"
"Like, you're always wearing it?" Will eyed the overly bright, slightly puffy yellow material Luke wore, the same infamous jacket he wore at the Royal Medal Ceremony.
"What's wrong with it?" Luke asked, looking down at it self-consciously.
"Err, it's a bit bright." said Will. The 70s were a weird time, she thought. "The fashion of this galaxy is something." Luke rolled his eyes fondly at that last part. Still her strange talk of 'this galaxy' amused him.
"I think it suits me." he replied, linking his hands behind his back and puffing up his chest proudly. "Besides, I don't say anything about those." he nodded towards Will's feet.
Will lifted a leg higher as they walked. "What, these bad boys?" she grinned, regarding her beloved bright red trainers.
Luke shook his head. "Impractical, especially on sand." he muttered.
"We're not on Tatooine anymore. Thankfully." Will said. That, Luke could agree on.
Will subtly ogled his fit V neck black shirt underneath his jacket that she secretly wished she had. His brown skinny trousers were another thing, his lightsaber bouncing on his thigh, and of course, his black boots.
"I didn't exactly bring any spare, decent clothes with me." Luke commented. Will hummed. They both didn't.
"We should go clothes shopping someday." Will mused. Luke smiled.
"Lieutenant Skywalker, sir!" A voice called.
Will and Luke stopped as an older Rebel man approached. He stopped short before Luke. Will hung back as the man chatted about supplies and squadron meetings that had no bearing on her.
"And this must be Willow?"
Will snapped to attention. The man flicked his gaze questioningly between her and Luke, before landing on her again.
"Yeah." Will answered. She had no idea who this man was. She hasn't met him up until this point.
The man nodded. "Nice to meet you." he said. "Sir." he acknowledged Luke before stepping away.
Luke smiled. "Alright."
"Who was that?" Will asked, turning to him.
"Oh. Jasper – "
"He guessed who I was because I was standing next to you!" said Will, flapping her hands. Annoyed.
Luke tried to suppress his grin as Will rambled.
"I don't know who that man is, and yet he knows who I am purely because of association with you. I told you, Luke." She pointed a finger at him.
"Okay, you did." Luke said, trying to appease her.
"Look at you laughing!" Will accused.
"I'm not." Luke lied, a hand covering his mouth in a feeble attempt to hide the dumb grin on his face growing wider.
"Yes, you are. I can see you laughing." Will tried to keep her voice stern, and a part of her was, but the grin that was forming on her face betrayed her. Damn Luke.
Luke openly laughed then, not hiding it this time. "It's the fact you got worked up about it."
Will grumbled.
Luke Skywalker's shadow.
XXX
Luke was called into another mission debriefing with Nakari. Will knew what that meant. He was going away again. She found herself sulking.
"Rodia. To try and open a smuggling trade for the Rebellion," Luke explained to Will his mission debriefing.
"Oh." Will uttered, picking idly at the cover on his bed as a distraction.
Will felt the bed dip, she flicked her gaze up and sure enough, Luke sat on the edge, across from her. He smiled lightly. Will tried to return it but she found herself grimacing instead.
"I won't be going immediately, I'll be here for a few more days." he said.
Will nodded, averting her gaze to her lap. Days. How many days? How many days, how many weeks has she been stuck here? Time doesn't feel real, it felt slow, yet everything was passing by since the Death Star was blown up.
"A few more days." she repeated quietly, biting her lip.
"Willow. I know you get upset when I must go." Luke stated.
"I'm fine." Will said defensively, eyes firmly trained on her lap still. "This is life now." she added after a moment.
She could feel Luke's stare, out of her peripheral view she saw him shift, twisting his upper body to face her more.
"You'll come with me, someday." Luke promised.
"Someday." Will mused, lifting her head and staring off at a random point in the room. "Someday, I'll fly away home." she whispered.
Will didn't mean to say that last part out loud, it just came out. As exciting as the prospect of exploring the galaxy with Luke, out of the Fleet, was, the thought of home came to mind. Earth.
She glanced at Luke, catching his expression morph into something Will could only describe as upset before he caught her eye and it quickly turned into a determined nod.
"I'll take you there." he said, voice steady, hopefully certain. Any upset lingering in his baby blue eyes, well, Will didn't comment. She found emotions and reading facial expressions confusing, she might be getting his wrong.
Will smiled, nonetheless. Something twirled in her stomach, making her feel weak for a moment.
I want to take you with me.
"I want to take you there." Will confessed. Luke blinked, curious. The words tumbled out, Will laughed lightly in embarrassment. The thought of Luke Skywalker in her bedroom back in her universe made her head spin. Impossible, yet here she was.
Luke smiled, cheeks a little pinker looking. Will admired his floofy blond hair falling into his eyes. She cleared her throat before Luke could speak.
"You promised a spin in your X-Wing." she reminded him instead of focusing on him.
"It's in the workshop getting maintenance done, but hopefully before I leave for Rodia." Luke said.
Will dampened slightly at the mention of his mission. She decided to change the subject.
"How's training going?" she asked him that question often.
Luke shrugged. "Haven't had much time." He looked dismayed. "I want to find out more information about the Jedi when I have time between missions. I need to learn the ways of the Jedi if I am to become one."
Will nodded. "Makes sense."
"There's a temple I want to find," Luke said suddenly, Will frowned, this was the first time she was hearing of this plan. Luke appeared to hesitate, "This might sound weird, but I've been having dreams, almost like visions of a Jedi temple on a planet."
Will cocked her head. For a long moment she just stared at him, and Luke felt under scrutiny. "Do you know how to get there?" Will asked at last.
"I think so." he nodded.
"I hope you figure it out."
"Me too." Luke agreed before sighing, "Don't know though, I don't know what I'm doing, without Ben. I need a teacher."
"Luke… I know I don't know much, obviously, but I'd like to help you," Will nervously bit her lip, hands twisting the material of his sheets. "With this Force thingy. Um," she stuttered. "I know you have its power and Ben said about helping me…"
Will found herself trailing off, the end of her sentence got away from her. She fumbled. What was she trying to say? She can't help Luke, not really, but the Force, for whatever reason brought her here, according to Ben, and Luke was the only person who could help.
"If anyone can get me home, it's you, but I just wanted to say, we're in is together." Will didn't understand why she was blushing.
Luke's smile could light up the darkest parts of deep space. A beacon calling home. "Together." Luke uttered; delight danced across his eyes. Will could almost feel a sense of loneliness lift from Luke's shoulders with a strange, clear clarity. Will frowned minutely, wondering if that feeling was real, before dismissing the thought.
Will found their hands brushing against one another between them on the bed they sat, she looked down at the sensation, seeing her smaller hand next to his, she suddenly realised how close they were. Swallowing, Will glanced up, licking her lips subconsciously as she met his bright blue orbs. She thinks she sees him following the movement before his eyelashes flutter up and he's gazing softy into her eyes.
Will looked away first, trailing her gaze down, slightly overwhelmed. Eyes flickering over the cleft of his chin, exposed throat, she ducked her head. She studied their hands for a moment, processing the information in her head. Her smaller, slender and considerably pale skinned compared to his bigger, tanned, and farmed build hand. Luke's little finger pressed involuntarily against hers, Will tilted her head, neck aching as she looked down. She bit the inside of her cheek as she ever so slightly moved her little finger, just a small twitch really, over his. Luke responded, stretching closer, curling, until naturally they hooked together.
Their pinky promise. Will realised fondly. She didn't need to look to know he was staring down at their hands. For a moment neither spoke, content in each other company while it lasts.
Will found her gaze drifting idly across his bedside table, green orbs lighting up at the sight of his lightsaber. The weapon of a Jedi Will mused. She cast her mind back to all the times she wielded a toy one back home. A ghost of a smile form on her lips. She reached out as if to touch it but aborted the action when she came to her senses, she turned to Luke with an almost apologetic expression. He was watching her.
"You can hold it if you want." Luke said.
Will has never even touched Luke's lightsaber, never mind hold it. Not once in all the time she has been here. It's personal to him, and not to mention dangerous. A blade of plasma that could cut clean through bone.
Will hesitated, curiosity was evident in her posture, but the way she seemed to curl into herself, fear cast doubt. Luke squeezed their little fingers, encouraging her.
"It's okay, I don't mind." he said.
"It's a dangerous weapon. Don't want to lose a hand." she said.
"You won't. Nobody's losing a hand." Luke tutted lightly. Will eyed his right hand.
Luke took the liberty and leaned over, letting go of their hands as he did, to grab his saber. He didn't notice the alarmed look Will made as he inadvertently leaned into her personal space, or her bending out of his way. Luke settled back, holding the lightsaber before them in both hands.
"As long as you don't point it at yourself or me and press the button, it's fine." he smiled reassuring. "I know you want to hold it."
Will reached out again yet still she hesitated. Luke nodded. Gently he removed his left hand and grabbed hers, guiding her until her fingers brushed the metal cylinder. His warm skin resting on the back of her hand a stark contrast to the cold, rigid surface of the saber under her palm. Will silently gasped at the sensation.
Then something snapped. Will gasped out loud, or at least she felt she did. She could no longer hear herself, or feel Luke, or see him! She wasn't in his bedroom anymore. Panic flooded Will's chest as the world suddenly plunged into darkness. Muted, inky blackness swarmed her vision, her head, she felt like she was under water, suffocating. Flashes of blue light pierced the darkness, followed by the sound and violent swing of a lightsaber. Will could barely see, only feel the fear, the anger, until the sudden screams echoed around her. Young screams, chilling Will to the bone. Their terror palpable – more flashes of blue, the screams increase in volume that Will tried to cover her ears. She couldn't, she was drowning, she wanted it to stop, make it stop!
"Willow!"
Will gasped, reeling backwards, vision snapping back to the bedroom, on the Rebel Fleet.
"Willow?"
Will's wide, scared eyes finally found focus on Luke. He looked at her in alarm. "Are you okay? What happened?"
Will gulped, eyes darting rapidly between his worried face and the lightsaber clutched in his hand. He tried to reach for her with his other hand, but Will flinched, "Don't touch me!" she snarled, gritting her teeth, barely registering the concerned, hurt expression on Luke's face at her action.
Will's face crumpled then as her thoughts slowly turned. What did happen?
"I, I –" Will choked, "I don't know." Tears welled in her eyes.
Will bolted. Luke called after her. She shakily coded open his door, fumbling the numbers, heart still racing. She heard Luke moving, saying something, but Will didn't listen. The door whooshed opened, and she ran, slamming into her door in her desperation. She hit the pad, opening and closing her door just as Luke slammed into it, the sound of his thud lurched at Will's pounding heart.
Will was breathing heavily.
"Willow?! Will? What happened?" Luke called, knocking on the metal door. "Willow?"
Will shakily stepped away, falling to the ground and hitting the bed frame. She curled into a ball.
She needed everything to stop, to go away. She can't… she can't talk. Will pressed her hands over her ears, attempting to block the world out. It was too much. Overwhelming, she was drowning again.
Luke kept knocking, pleading for her to open the door and let him in. He wanted to talk and to apologies to her for whatever he might have done. Oh Luke. Will shook her head, pressing her hands more firmly over her ears, it was painful, she was hurting herself, but she couldn't cope. The haunting screams, the weighted despair and darkness leeched the warmth from her body. Will became very still, tension coiled in her little form huddling on the floor.
An undisclosed amount of time later, Will lay in a slump, only managing to have moved into the bed rather than on the cold floor. Luke had gone sometime go. She was left with her thoughts and that was a dangerous thing. She wanted to sleep; her eyelids felt heavy.
Will jerked at the sound of rough knocking at her door.
"Lynch, you have training to attend. Best not to slack off!" A Rebel woman ordered through the metal.
Will numbly listened to boots march away. After a moment contemplation she sat up. She was still cold, but a little more in her own skin again. Perhaps distraction might work. She had no music to lose herself too.
XXX
Will was winded as she was slammed into the pad. Her head spun and for a second she couldn't even gasp.
"Sorry," the boy squeaked, "Didn't mean to flip you so hard."
He looked so embarrassed Will found herself apologizing. Her bruised ego aside, she was at fault for not concentrating.
"Will." The instructor called her.
Will picked herself up, refusing the young boy's help and made her way over.
"Is everything alright? You seem distracted today." he noted.
Will brushed him off, "I'm fine."
She went back to training when he was satisfied.
XXX
"Concentrate!" Zak demanded.
"Sorry." Will muttered, shaking herself. She sharpy veered her ship to avoid being hit.
"You're slacking today, little one." Zak chastised. "What's eating you?"
"Nothing." Will frowned, quickly glancing at him.
Zak eyed her up and down. "You sure?"
Will sighed in annoyance. "Yup." she popped the 'p'.
There was a pause as Zak watched her movements on the simulator.
"Why?" Will asked, still frowning. "Do I seem upset?"
"Annoyed maybe." Zak shrugged, as best he could in the small space anyway. "You seem to be drifting – like as your X-Wing currently is!" he said, voice raising as he quickly intervened, hand grasping on top of hers to steer the gear stick. "I think that's enough today. You're not with me today." he sighed, moving to power down the simulator.
Will pouted. "Sorry." she mumbled again. Zak looked at her in concern. "I guess I'm just having one of those days."
Zak nodded, still looking at her with that same expression. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Will shook her head, a twinge of frustration flared in her stomach. "Honestly, wouldn't know what to talk about. Just happens you know?" Her eyes downcast.
Zak pondered for a moment. "I think I get what you're on about." he said.
Hesitantly, Will brushed her fingers against the back of his hand, he glanced down then at her. Will didn't look up, but she knew he knew that she was aware of his gaze. She bit her lip, shifting. There wasn't much space between them, their shoulders pressed together, and it wasn't completely an unpleasant sensation. Zak uncurled his hand, turning palm side up, inviting, accepting, and Will took it. She watched, fascinated as she threaded their fingers together. His hand was bigger than Luke's.
Will didn't say anything, and neither did Zak.
XXX
"Hey, kid, watch where you're going." Han barked as Will collided into him.
"Sorry." Will mumbled. Han shook his head. He heaved a crate over to the other side of the lounge area.
Will shifted with much more effort, another heavy box. Under Han's instructions, she moved and past several items and boxes to him. Will tried to move the box she needed but it was stuck underneath another heavier one. She sighed, pulling roughly, each tug made Will more frustrated. She pulled it angrily again; the pile shook but it did not budge.
"Leave it, and lift what you can." Han called.
Suddenly something fell, Will barely had time to react. She flinched and jerked as something hard skimmed the side of her head, then landed directly onto the toes. Will yelled as pain erupted from her right foot.
"AH!" Will exclaimed, "FUCK!" She hopped on one leg, cradling her foot. She muttered a few more curse words that Han hadn't heard of because they were Earth and Irish swears, but he picked up the meaning clearly from her tone.
"I told you to leave it," Han yelled, "Are you alright?" He stopped what he was doing and watched Will in concern. He picked up the toolbox, the culprit, and placed it out of the way.
Will didn't reply. She groaned, leaning on her arms, leg trembling as she gritted through the pain.
Something snapped in Will. She slammed a fist down onto a box, cringing at the pain that shot up her wrist. She slammed her other foot down, again, and again, yelling.
"Wow, wow!" Han shouted in alarm, he waved franticly. "Kid, hey sister," he grabbed her arms from behind, Will struggled but his grip remained firm. "Take it easy. There's stuff in that box that you really don't want to be kickin'." Han yelled.
Will finally slumped, the fight leaving her.
"Watch it." Han gave a final warning, eyeing her both warily and in concern before plonking her down on her feet when he was certain she wasn't going to go off again.
Will felt embarrassment wash over her. She brought her hands to her face in shame.
"What's the matter with you, anyway?" Han frowned.
"I'm sorry, Han." Will croaked.
Will left Han to finish his work shortly afterwards, unable to stand the tense awkwardness and the concerned looks he shot her.
XXX
It couldn't have been that, Will thought. She's not – it's not possible. Maybe she's finally going mad in this place. She pondered the event that transpired earlier with Luke before physically shaking her head as if that would help clear her thoughts. Will rested her chin on her knees as she drew them up to her chest, arms wrapping around. She watched the turning planet below, the stars reflected in her eyes. Such silent beauty. Cold. She shivered, bare feet squeak on the floor as she tucks them more into herself.
A timid knock comes to her door. Will jumped sightly but doesn't move, doesn't turn her head away from the window as she calls, "Who is it?"
"Luke."
Will takes a deep breath, whatever calm she created is broken as she feeling her heart pick up pace. He sounded so timid; she thinks. She frowned but didn't reply. The silence stretched.
"I was wondering…if I could come in?" There was a pause. "We can talk."
Talk. The word was heavy. Loaded. Will swallowed. She remained silent. She heard Luke shuffle outside.
"Or, or I could just go if you want."
Will could hear the defeat in his voice, can imagine the concerned worry etched into his pretty face. Guilt creeped in. She squeezed her eyes shut briefly.
"You can come in." Will finally spoke up.
There was another pause as she heard Luke shuffle again. He knew the code to her room. She heard the door opening and closing. She didn't look around, eyes fixed on a ship flying away from the shadow of the fleet. The sound of Luke's footsteps alerted her to his cautious approach. She watched from the corner of her eye as he slowly slunk down into a cross legged position a respectful few feet away.
Will glanced at him then, she tentatively smiled, and Luke did the same. Her heart lurched. She rested her head sideways on her knees, looking up at Luke from an angle. Luke eyed her up and down, noting how small she looked. Neither said anything for a moment. Will couldn't help the wary glance down at his lightsaber still clipped to his belt.
"Hello." Will said, breaking the awkward silence.
"Hi." Luke greeted almost shyly.
Will's gaze drifted to his hands, watching them fidget.
"Are you okay?" Luke asked, "I wanted to make sure you were okay." His brow was pinched.
"I think I will be, yeah." Will answered quietly. Her answer, however, didn't appear to appease him. Instead, he shifted, bouncing his knee for a moment as he thought. He looked even more concerned. "You didn't do anything wrong, Luke." she said.
Luke's shoulders sagged as if a physical weight was lifted. Guilt, Will realised, he must have felt he did something wrong. That's what that expression on his face was. The glow from the planet below and the stars illuminated half his face, catching his saber, it glinted. Will frowned at it.
"I thought – " Luke began, bowing his head.
Will winced as she remembered her words, how she ran from him. She sighed, lifting her head, her back ached from her hunched position. "I got so overwhelmed…" she said, forehead creasing as she tried to vocalize her thoughts. "I wasn't you, I – I don't think it was you, maybe," Will shuttered, watching Luke's reaction. "I don't know. I'm sorry I panicked and ran."
Luke's eyes were downcast. "I'm sorry if I pushed you, I know how you feel about touch and – "
Will shook her head. "It's okay." she said quickly. "I didn't mean to be so harsh I –" she swallowed, trying to find the rights words while guilt creeped up her throat. "It just happened, I can't explain it, it was more than the touch, I felt something." Will subconsciously eyed his lightsaber again, this time Luke noticed and followed her gaze. She ducked her head. The echo of the screams filled her mind.
"I couldn't cope and had a meltdown." She chewed her lip, risking a glance at Luke. He was looking at her with an expression of utter confusion, worry and something else that reminded her of the way he looked at her when she was in his bedroom on Tatooine when she tried to explain where she was from. Will blinked, "And um, for the record, you're one of the few, if only people in this place, that's understanding and kind to me. You didn't push me." she stated quietly.
She offered him a hand. Luke stared at it, then at her, then back at her hand before he slowly reached out and grasped it. Will felt herself sigh when she squeezed his hand, and he reciprocated the gesture.
Luke seemed to relax a little more.
"You're warm." Will stated.
Luke inclined his head, "You're cold." he noted, concerned, eyes darting to her bare feet briefly.
Will wanted to say more, the words were forming on her tongue, "Sometimes I don't mind touch, being touched, um." she fumbled, feeling her cheeks burn. She thinks she's getting better at the whole holding hands things. "It's not you, it's just my sensory issues, my – sometimes it feels weird, sometimes it feels nice. Sometimes, I want to burn my skin off… sometimes, it makes me feel wrong inside."
She felt Luke's hand twitch in hers. Will was suddenly overcome with emotion. The self-hatred that burns in the pit of her stomach. She furiously blinked the blurriness out of her eyes. She's shared too much. "I envy you," she looked up at him then, catching his surprised expression. "It all comes so easy for you. Touch. Hugs. Friends." she elaborated. "But that's why I like you. I wish I was like you more."
Will smiled shyly and Luke stared at her for a moment before nodding, a small but sad smile played on his lips. "I like you the way you are, Willow." Luke said.
"Thanks," said Will, but her voice fell flat. Eyes downcast once more. "Lots of people don't though."
"Lots of people don't particularly like me, either Willow." said Luke after a short pause. "The Empire for a start."
Will looked up, catching a half smirk on Luke's face. She appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood. His half smirk faded, however, into a frown.
"And I'm not liked by everyone in the Rebellion." he admitted. At her confused stare, Luke elaborated, "I was some nobody farm boy from a dust ball planet on the Outer Rim, made a one in a million shot. Just some kid that got lucky."
The tone in Luke's voice as he said that last part made Will believe those words were quote what some Rebel said to him, or perhaps whispered when they thought he couldn't hear. She knew the feeling well.
"I'm not what people think I am when they meet me, already they expect me to be somebody, in their minds – they have formed their own ideas on me." Luke sighed.
Will hummed at his words. "I'm sorry." she said, although she not sure why she's apologising. Yes, Luke has everyone's expectations thrusted upon him, but she's certain they don't dare bully him like some do to her. Will shook her head. It's not a competition, the little empathic voice in her mind supplied. He's sharing struggles. He doesn't know the full extent of what some Rebels do to her when he goes away, just that one instance in the mess hall.
A thought popped into Will's head that distracted her from her self-pitying internal monologue. "Must really piss off the Empire to know a nobody teenager from the Outer Rim blew up their Death Star." she grinned suddenly.
Luke found himself huffing out a laugh.
"People see my lightsaber and wonder," Luke said after their humour died down. "Although, I've discovered many either don't believe in the Jedi or outright distrust them – me. Son of a Jedi. I've been keeping the fact I can use the power of the Force to myself." he confessed. He looked at her earnestly then, "You're the only one I talk to about it. Han scoffs, Leia," Luke smiled at the thought of Leia, "She believes, she encourages me."
Will nodded. Together she promised. They were in this Force business together. Will smiled softy.
"And Nakari – "
Will frowned, "You told Nakari you have the Force?" she asked, jumping straight to the assumption. The accusatory tone in her voice took not only Luke by surprise, but Will herself. She blushed, and the awkward skittish glances at Luke, she could see he was blushing too.
Luke stammered, "Err, yes. I trust her and she doesn't treat me with the same expectations as others."
"Oh." said Will dumbly. A brief twisting feeling swirled in her chest. Intense and surprising her. The spark of what Will would later name as jealously lit a tiny flame inside her.
Silence fell. Will appeared lost in her own head and didn't notice Luke's shift in demeanour.
"Will," Luke said, gaining her full attention, he shuffled closer. "What happened?" he asked tentatively. "Back there. You said you felt something?"
Will flicked her eyes to his lightsaber once more, Luke followed her eyes, frowning. "When you touched my lightsaber?" he pried.
Will didn't answer immediately. Instead, she continued to frown at the saber clipped to his belt, and against her own judgement, hesitantly extended her hand, index finger moving forward, slowly, to brush against the cool metal. She couldn't help but flinch and she could practically feel Luke's stare. She gripped the saber firmly, and nothing. Seconds passed and she felt no darkness or screaming. Was it all in her imagination? No, she felt, heard it, there was no mistaking it. The cold still lingered in her body, but this time nothing happened.
Will breathed out, glancing up at Luke. Don't frown that pretty face of yours, she thought. She withdrew her hand. "This is going to sound mad, but I felt something when I touched your lightsaber for the first time. Heard things."
"What sort of things?" Luke cocked his head.
Will steeled herself. "I felt darkness, I was in darkness. I couldn't see, it was like I was drowning. Then I heard screaming, lots of screams."
They were children's screams, but she wasn't going to tell him that.
"I felt terror, so much fear and pain and it wouldn't stop then I was back in your room with you." she finished.
A heavy air hung around them. Luke stared at her hard. Concerned and perhaps frightened. For her? Of her? Will shifted uncomfortably, averting her eyes.
After a long moment, Luke spoke up. "Like a vision, like a dream?" he questioned, eyes wide.
Will shrugged. Perhaps it was neither.
Luke appeared lost in thought, that deep frown again. His eyes roamed over her in a way that made her feel vulnerable, small, and made her stomach flip.
"Stop that!" Will ordered suddenly.
Luke blinked, "Huh?"
"Looking at me like that." Before Luke could protest, Will reached out and with her thumb, attempted to smooth the frown etched into his forehead. "No more frowning at me, please."
Luke jumped slightly at the unexpected physical contact. He could do nothing but stare as Will's thumb ghosted over his skin, sending tingles. Luke found his throat suddenly dry, he tried to clear it, the sound startled Will and she reeled back.
"Sorry!" Now it was Will's turn to look sheepish and guilty over potential pushed boundaries. Will chastised herself. She should understand. "Shouldn't have done that, but it was annoying me."
"It's okay," Luke said quickly. He flashed her a bemused, fumbling smile that Will returned, until the situation at present crept back in, thoughts lingering in the air.
"Maybe I'm going mad." Will said.
Luke shook his head. "I don't think you're mad."
"Thank you, Luke." Will said sincerely. "I mean it. Thank you for everything."
Thank you for being my friend.
She gazed at him with adoring green eyes, the words snapped Luke out of his ever-present musing about Will and the Force, pushing them to the back of his mind. He beamed at her. "You don't have to." he said but nonetheless added, "You're welcome."
Eventually, the evening took its toll, and Luke bid Will goodnight, squeezing her hand affectionately, and Will ignored the flicker of concern behind his eyes before they let go and he walked the few feet to his room.
XXX
Will jumped when an object was dropped suddenly onto the table in front of her. It took several seconds for Will to realise it was a book, a physical book. Pages, paper-like material, a worn cover. Her eyes lit up. Will grabbed the book eagerly, looking up with a delighted grin she greeted Leia standing before her with a pleased look on her pale face.
"You got one!" Will squealed happily. She flipped the cover open, flicking through the blank pages that waited to be filled. It was in good condition.
Will's childlike happiness rubbed off on Leia. Regal always she was, a soft girlish bright smile shone back as she relaxed. She slipped into the chair and sat opposite. Leia produced a small pencil and handed it to Will.
"Thank you, thank you!" Will beamed. "I hope it wasn't too much trouble?" she half asked, half stated. Twirling the pencil around her fingers.
Leia shrugged, "If you have the resources," she merely said, eyeing the book and Will with fasciation. "Not a thing I often see or requested often." she commented.
Will opened the book down the middle before leaning forward and pressing its pages flush to her face. Will took an audible deep breath in, sniffing the odour of the pages, missing the comical startled expression of Leia in reaction. Will rested the book on the table, leaning back with a satisfied smirk across her face.
"You gotta to love the smell of old books." said Will, sighing with content.
Leia raised a dark eyebrow, "I'll take your word for it."
Will flipped the cover open again, grasping the pencil firmly in her left hand she wrote on the inside of the cover in neat fancy cursive writing:
'Property of Willow Lynch'
Leia frowned.
"Mine." Will murmured to herself. "Just in case I lose it." She clarified in a louder tone, speaking directly to Leia. Will glanced to see an expression of what appeared to be confusion written across Leia's face.
Leia opened her mouth as if about to speak.
"Hey!"
Leia and Will turned at the sound of a familiar voice. Luke jogged up to their table, tray in hand that contained leftovers. The mess hall was less crowded this time of day, and Luke had no bother seeking them out. He slid next to Will. They greeted him warmly.
"Late today." Will remarked.
Luke hummed as he took a hungry bite out of his food.
"Look what Leia got for me!" Will excitedly said to Luke, holding the book eagerly in front of him.
Luke's eyes widened. "Oh!" He glanced at Leia with a surprised expression.
"A book, a proper book I can write in!" Will boasted. Luke smiled at Will's happiness. "As much as I love technology, you can't beat physical books. And the smell -" Will pushed the book under Luke's nose.
Luke batted the book away lightly, taken aback.
"What will you use it for?" Luke asked.
Will shrugged, "Writing. Perhaps a journal? Drawing. I like drawing."
Leia and Luke started conversation while Will made small doodles in her new book. Will smiled shyly at Luke when he caught her gaze. Then Nakari joined the table.
XXX
"Hey, Lynch!"
Will froze. No. Not now.
"What's that you've got?"
Will gritted her teeth. Why can't she just enjoy things? Why can't she have nice moments without something, someone coming along to ruin it. She turned to Rue with false indifference.
"A book." she said as if he were dumb.
Rue's face lit up in a sheer. "A paper book?" he said, surprised and mocking.
Will started walking again.
"I imagine that's more common in the backwater Outer Rim." he stated in a snide tone.
Will's grip tightened on her book possessively, her anger flaring. She walked on.
"At least I can write my own name!" Will shouted back, not daring to spare a glance back. The words were past her lips before she had time to think.
Will heard sudden quickened footsteps behind her and her body tensed, and her heart dropped as a hand came into view and attempted to steal the book from her grasp. Will fought Rue. "Give it back!" she yelled, straining to keep a hold of her book.
Rue easily snatched the book from her fingers. He roughly grabbed Will by the collar, holding her at arm's length as she struggled. He flipped the book in his other hand, carelessly dangling it and scanning the pages, his expression flickered with disappointment at the blank pages.
"Blank." Rue drawled before letting the book slip from his grasp and fall to the corridor floor.
Will finally shook off his hold, staring at him with outrage. She bared her teeth and in a breath her hand struck across Rue's face in an astounding slap! Rue stumbled back, clutching his cheek in shock and pain. Will's palm stun at the force of her slap. She flexed her hand, worth it.
"You little bitch!" Rue growled, lurching forward and slamming Will into the wall.
Will yelled as her head collided with the hard surface, her shoulder blades flared in pain. Suddenly hands came over Rue's that had Will pinned. They both looked up in surprised.
Han Solo.
Will felt relief and embarrassment overcome her. Han pulled Rue off her, the two men stared down one another for a tense moment until Han turned his focus on Will, eyes scanning her up and down in concern, checking for harm.
"You alright?" he asked lowly.
Will nodded but couldn't look him in the eye.
Han wasn't convinced but chose to turn his attention to the man in front of him again. An air of fake calmness radiated from the smuggler. Rue was eyeing the situation unfolding and held his ground. A personnel passed them in the corridor, almost serving like a reminder they were in public space and not completely hidden from the rest of the Rebellion.
"What seems to be the problem?" Han asked Rue, hands on hips, his blaster in holster.
Rue's gaze darted between Han and Will. He opened his mouth to speak but Han cut him off.
"This one really isn't your size, is she?" Han went on, mocking him, not the least bit interested in what excuse Rue had to say. "And I gotta tell you, I have a Wookiee that's quite fond of this one," he jabbed a thumb over his shoulder indicating Will. His words were almost causal under the threat.
Will watched Rue's sour face shift, the flicker of fear in his eyes at the mention of Chewie. He quickly schooled his features. Rue didn't say another word, he was smart that way. Another Rebel passed them with a curious glance, and Rue gave Han one last look before turning away. His gaze caught Will's and his eyes silently screamed that there was going to be a next time. Will stared daggers back, watching as he walked away from them down the corridor with as much dignity he could.
Will breathed out, muscles relaxing slightly. She picked up her book and clutched it to her chest.
"Thanks." she mumbled. Embarrassment evident in her small frame. She watched his boots shift to face her directly.
"You're welcome," Han said gruffly. "How long's that been going on for?" he asked.
Will shrugged.
"Don't let him or anybody walk all over you." Han said. There was a level of disdain in his tone. Han had yet to admit to himself his support to the cause of the Rebellion or put his life on the line despite everything he has already done. He still talked about leaving, paying off his debt to Jabba.
XXX
Will caught Luke zoning out. He seemed distracted today. Perhaps he was thinking about his looming mission to Rodia, although the mission didn't sound as dangerous as the other ones he embarked on before; and certainly, running round the Death Star and then blowing it up was one of the dangerous things to do and Luke faced those challenges head on! No, that wouldn't worry Luke. Will wondered if their conversation last night spooked him. He shifted restlessly, his leg bouncing with excess energy. Will sensed something was on his mind. He wanted to talk. They sat on a crate in the hangar bay, watching the few ships that flew out or ones that returned. It was quieter in the fleet's standard late evening time. Still, activity buzzed, people had jobs to do. Engineers and mechanics worked on ships littering the hangar. The night life as Will dubbed, of the Rebellion. Sometimes, Will and Luke enjoyed relaxing in their free periods like this. The opening to the darkness of space and twinkling stars beyond, protected from certain death by the magnetic shield.
"Luke, you're vibrating the crate." Will moaned in annoyance.
Luke blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. "Oh, sorry," he said, ceasing his leg movement.
"Your X-Wing is looking in good shape." Will said, and if there was a hint in her words, Luke missed it.
Artoo trilled from his spot, his dome head swivelling, sensor eye viewing them.
The engineer was putting the final work on Luke's ship for the night. Will knew Luke was going to go straight over and work on his ship himself. Not that he thought the engineer was doing at bad job, the opposite, Luke liked fixing his ship. It relaxed him. Luke hopped off the crate as the older engineer came over, they clapped each other's shoulders as they passed, exchanging pleasantries. Will watched as Luke inspected his ship, running a hand along the underbelly; her eyes lingering on his hands. He had strong hands, long fingers and very dexterous. Will bit her lip, admiring the way he worked.
She jumped when Luke called her name and the blush that crept up her cheeks made her thankful Luke far enough way not to see it. He was asking her to pass him something. Will moaned he was closer but nevertheless she got up and walked over, passing him the spanner like object to his awaiting hand. Luke ducked his head out from under the wing, sending her a bright smile. His hand was warm. He was always warm to her. Will didn't say a word and retreated further back, deciding a good spot on the floor to sit and watch Luke work. Closer in case he wanted something else, and a better view for her. She wiped out her book and little pencil. On a fresh page she started drawing. A rough, messy sketch of Luke's X-Wing.
"When will you go on your mission to that Jedi temple you mentioned before?" Will asked, eyes not leaving the page.
"After Rodia sometime." Luke answered.
"Can I come with you?" Will looked up then.
Luke stopped and looked at her. "Come with me?" he questioned.
"Yeah. Like I said, we're in this together." said Will.
Luke ducked his head, the corners of his mouth quirking into a soft smile as he thought for a moment.
Will's face fell slightly at his lack of immediate response. "Will I need permission or something?"
Luke chuckled then, looking at her with something akin to amusement. Will cocked her head, at least she thought that's what that expression meant. Maybe she should start writing them down and their meanings.
"No," Luke said. "It's not an assigned mission. Do you think you're ready?"
Will blinked at him.
"You just want out of here." Luke continued with a pointed look.
"Can you blame me, Luke? Come on! You said yourself, let's explore the galaxy now that I have the chance."
Luke smiled again, but it almost appeared sad. Will was confused. "If you don't want me to come…" she trailed off, feeling small and useless.
Why would he want her to come? What could she do?
Luke shook his head, "No, it's not that!" he said quickly, stepping closer and crouching down to her eye level. "I understand, and I'd love for you come." He hesitated then, glancing at his boots before returning his gaze to hers. "I want you to be sure. Anything could happen."
If Willow didn't know any better, she would say he was being overprotective.
"I'm sure." Will said, nodding, even if a part of her wasn't sure, not really. She didn't know what she would be getting herself into. Her knowledge was limited to the films, not to the events outside of it. "I know you'll keep me safe." she said, smiling sweetly, looking up at him through her eyelashes.
Luke grinned boyishly, ducking his head again to hide his blush. He was the farm boy before her, perhaps he always will be to Will.
"The Rebellion's hero and all that." she added.
Luke cleared his throat, "Are you trying to flatter me?"
Will hummed, "My farm boy, my fledgling Jedi." she teased, although she was making her heart hammer in her chest. "Is it working?"
Luke attempted a scowl but the growing embarrassed flush to his cheeks gave him away. He shoved her lightly on the shoulder. Will shoved him back. Although Will's idea of a light push was not the same as Luke's, then again, Luke may not be an overly tall man, but he was stronger than he looked, and Will was smaller and finer and not as strong so, when she shoved, she naturally shoved harder. Combined Luke's crouched position he easily lost balance and fell sideways. Will giggled.
Luke righted himself, shooting her a playful hurt face.
"A whole other world," Will said dreamily, and Luke knew from her tone and the far way look in her eyes, her mind was already there. He knew the feeling well. "Away from here."
Luke frowned at that. Something was on his mind. "Willow," he called, waiting for her to look at him. "Han told me about what happened to you after you left the mess hall." he said quietly, his face serious as he took in Will's reaction.
Will's face went from surprise to anger. She stared down at her book. This was not how she expected the conversation to turn. How dare he. What else does he tell Luke? Does Leia do the same? Will felt panic and shame grow in her stomach.
"What do you want me to say?" Will gritted out, refusing to look at Luke.
She heard Luke shift. "Will." he sighed, sounding sad.
Shame ate at her. It was her fault.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, "Has he hurt you before?"
Will shook her head, finally looking him in the eyes. Luke's face was serious, he was upset. His eyes roamed her face and Will tried to keep her emotions at bay. "No. He hasn't, please. It's not a big deal."
"Not a big deal?" Luke repeated incredulously, his eyes narrowing. "From what Han told me, he slammed you against a wall and looked about to do more."
"Han shouldn't have told you anything!" Will raised her voice.
A few of the engineers and Rebels walking around glanced curiously at the commotion. Will glowered at her shoes.
"Han cares about you." Luke said carefully with forced quietness in his voice. "I care about you. Leia cares about you. Why didn't you tell me? I could have – "
"Could have what? Helped me? You weren't there, Luke. You're never there when it happens, they don't dare do anything while you're around. If anything, by running to you, it would make my life worse!"
"I'm your friend – " Luke began.
"That's the problem."
Will shut her mouth but the words were said, she couldn't unsay them. Luke is awfully silent. His jaw his set, deep frown, deliberately looking away from her. "It's not your fault, Luke." she whispered. "I don't blame you, if anything, I'm the fault. I've been made fun of my whole life. I don't need a saviour."
Luke looked up at her sharply. She couldn't practically feel the thoughts running through his heads, all the words he wanted to say, but instead, he said, "I just wish you could have told me, as your friend. And I'm sorry."
Will stared down at the messy drawing of Luke's X-Wing, feeling the tell-tale pressure of tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
"I want you to be happy. For you to be at home. It's my fault you're here." Luke sighed; guilt laced his tone.
Will looked up. "If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead or stuck on Tatooine."
Luke shook his head. "I know. I meant here with the Rebellion. I know your heart isn't in it. You're staying because I am. You don't have a choice."
Will sniffed. "True," she confessed the not so secret between them, but it didn't stop Luke's shoulders slumping at the verbal confirmation. "But I'm happy to have you as my friend. I wouldn't change that just because of some people. And for the record, I do believe in the Rebel cause."
Luke smiled at that.
"Can I ask what started the fight with that man?" Luke asked quietly after a moment of silence.
Will sighed, wishing for the end of this topic of conversation. She shrugged. "Rue – "
"Rue? It was him?" Luke's eyes lit up in realization.
Damn it, Will sighed to herself. Although, Rue harbouring a dislike towards Will was no secret. "Yeah him." she grumbled. "He saw my book," Will gestured to it in her lap, "And mocked me about it."
Luke nodded; his eyes flashed in anger.
"I told him at least I can write my own name." Will added. Luke laughed lightly at that.
"What are you doing?" Luke gestured to her book, scooting closer to peek down.
"Just a drawing of your X-Wing." Will said, grateful for the change of topic at last. She watched as Luke bent over and peered at her work.
"It's very good." Luke said in awe, glancing sideways at Will who blushed.
Will cleared her throat. "It's not my best. I can go better when I really try. This is a rough sketch."
"Then I'd love to see when you really try. This is good." Luke complimented. "It's a beautiful skill."
"Can you draw?" asked Will.
Luke shrugged, straightening up. "A little. Wouldn't say I'm skilled at it."
"Can you write?" asked Will curiously.
"Yes." Luke said, mildly amused and insulted at her blunt question. Will nodded.
"Show me." Will stated, holding out her pencil. "If you like."
Luke side eyed her. "Okay…" he said uncertainly, not fully understanding why she wanted him to show her. "What do you want me to write?"
Will shrugged. "Anything. Or you could do a little drawing."
Luke scoffed but nonetheless took the pencil.
"You're left-handed!" Will exclaimed with obvious delight. "So am I." she said proudly. Luke smiled, flexing the fingers of his left hand into a firmer grip.
Suddenly his eyes narrowed, and he brought the book up close to him and started writing something. Will frowned, trying to peek at what he was doing but he angled his body away. Will watched with suspicion as a sly smile ghosted Luke's face. Pressing his lips together to contain his amusement, his chin jutted, and his eyes glanced over the rim of the pages at her before returning his focus, pretending to be deeply invested. Will raised an eyebrow as he turned the book around and plopped it on the ground before them.
Will stared at it then at some far away point for a moment. A circle with two dots, a vertical dash and another horizontal dash forming a smile.
"And what is that meant to be?" she asked in the most serious tone she could muster.
"Your face." Luke stated.
Will grinned. "Stunning. Looks just like me."
They burst into giggles. Will took the pencil and beside his crude drawing she also drew a circle, two dots for eyes, line for a nose and a smiling mouth. "And your little cleft chin," muttered Will as she drew a small line on the bottom. "And your hair." A messy, Luke shaped hair adorned the circle face. "You didn't even give me hair." Will chastised.
Luke reclaimed the pencil and scribbled hair onto his drawing of her.
"My hair is not as messy as yours." Will commented. "It has style." she self-consciously pulled at the hair at the back of her neck, swiped her the fridge. She needed a haircut.
Will hummed, once again taking the pencil and writing:
'Luke and Will'
Luke frowned, "What's that?"
"What's what?"
Luke pointed a finger to the words she just wrote above their drawings.
Will sent him a look. "Our names." she said as if he were stupid. Luke cocked his head, staring at her with a strange expression. Will mirrored him. "Can't you read?" she asked.
Luke glared at her. "Yes, I can read." he huffed. "I don't recognise the language. What is it?"
"What?" Will said, utterly perplexed. She frowned at him as he continued to stare at her like she had suddenly sprouted another head.
There was a pause.
"It's English." Will stated.
There was another pause.
"You know, the language I'm speaking right now." Will emphasised.
Luke blinked, brow creased, and his mouth parted, he breathed, "You're talking Basic."
Didn't they have this conversation before? Will remembered then. Some time ago… something else she had forgotten…
"I'm talking English. I hear English." Will said, her mind wandering.
Luke shook his head. "We call it Basic."
Will cast her mind back; the datapad glitching on her on Yavin Four. For a moment it filled with strange symbols before it turned back to English. She thought she was imagining things.
Will scribbled on the page. "Can you read that?" she asked urgently.
Luke glanced at the words. He shook his head. No. His frown deepened.
"It says 'hello, can you read this?'" Will clarified. Luke stared at her. His gaze made her uncomfortable. What was happening? "Okay," she said nervously, "You write something…in Basic I guess."
Luke slowly took the pencil, eyeing her for a moment. Will watched him write: 'This is Basic'. Will read the words out loud and scoffed. They stared at one another. Each trying to work out the other.
"I told you, Luke, I'm speaking English, not Basic." Will said firmly. "We had this conversation before remember?"
Luke was at a loss; Will seemed genuinely confused and it was no longer adorable. "You call it English but it's the same – "
"Then why can't you understand what I'm writing then?!" Will unintentionally yelled. She glanced over her shoulder.
"I don't know!" Luke yelled. Will was slightly taken aback to be on this side of him. "Maybe you've got all mixed up," he theorised. "You don't realise you switch languages."
"What? I don't speak multiple languages. Unlike you, Luke, you may swear in Huttese, as you call it – don't deny it, I've heard you! Han told me it. I don't switch."
"Yet here you are, speaking and reading Basic." Luke stated.
Will shook her head. "This is all confusing." she muttered. A tense silence grew as Will debated to herself. "There was this one moment," Will began, "Back on Yavin Four, remember I asked you to help me fill out the datapad for medical details because it was beyond me then?"
Luke nodded. His gaze was wary, bewilderment and something so strange it made Will's stomach turn in unease.
Will took a nervous breath, "There was time moment where I was reading it, and it sort of glitched, like, suddenly the words changed, all I saw were these strange shape and symbols." she struggled to find the words, lost in her thoughts for a moment. "I couldn't understand it, then it went back to normal. Was that Basic?" she turned to Luke, almost pleadingly to see if he held the answer.
"I don't know." Luke said honestly.
Will glanced down at the book, between her words and his. She wondered if it would happen again. If she'll glitch and see that strange language. "Maybe it's to do with the Force."
"How so?"
Will glanced up and shrugged self-consciously. Another mystery to add into whatever the hell is going on with her, she thought bitterly. If she can read Basic, why can't Luke read English if he's hearing her in his language?
"Maybe we can get Threepio to see if he can translate my writing?" Will offered instead.
Luke nodded slowly, "Sure." He seemed rather spook, or maybe just really, really confused.
"I'm not being funny; I genuinely can't see the difference between your words and mine. I don't understand why you can't read my writing. Why it doesn't translate as seemingly as I apparently am." Will huffed, but the distress was evident in her face. Will was not insane. "Like I said, I'm not from here, Luke. Beyond where you can't imagine."
"It's okay, we'll figure it out." Luke tried to ease her. He bit his lip as he contemplated. Another question, another mystery of Willow Lynch.
"I just want things to make sense." Will's face crumpled. "I think I might be broken." she said, voice cracking.
Luke opened his mouth to protest, "No, of course not, why would you think that?"
"Luke," Will said brokenly. Pleading with him. Not even he could pretend now something wasn't wrong with her. Everything was wrong with her; from the day she was born. He looked at her with such pity, upset, that Will bowed her head in shame. "Because I am." she sniffed.
Luke appeared flustered, unsure if he should comfort her physically or not.
"Sorry," Will sniffed again, attempting to compose herself. She needs to stop these outbursts; she was embarrassing herself. Everything was building up on Will. The bullying, the loneliness, trapped on the Fleet. "I'm okay, I'm okay." she twisted her fingers together.
Luke can see before his eyes Will closing herself off to him.
Artoo gave a low, sad whirl.
Luke scooted closer, closing the last little distance between them. He wraps his arm around her shoulders. "Is this okay?" he whispered.
Will didn't respond, but she didn't pull away. Luke squeezed her upper arm, and he felt her lean slightly into him. He gasped lightly as he felt a sudden whirlwind of emotions twisting in his stomach. He glanced down at the girl huddled to him, the crown of her head, dark hair only visible to Luke. He frowned.
"Willow," Luke said sadly. He felt a sense of compassion, a familiar ache of loneliness grips his being. He didn't fully comprehend it.
They sat there, together under the wing of Luke's ship, neither said anything for a moment. Will tucked her head into Luke's side. She glances up at him, and he smiles sympathetically at her. Will looked down at her lap and Luke's smile drops.
"What are you thinking?" he asked. "Talk to me."
She doesn't say anything for a moment. "That I don't belong here." she whispered.
"What if you do?" Luke said. Will looks up at him sharply then. Luke took a deep breath, forming his next words carefully. There's been something he's been wanting to say but hasn't. "Willow… I've been thinking." he began.
He sounded nervous and Will perked up at his tone.
"Ben said your situation is connected with the Force, perhaps you are meant to be here."
Will eyed him. "Like destiny?" she asked carefully. Will scoffed then. She shook her head, straightening, Luke's arm around her loosens.
"I'm only saying, the Force brought you on this path – "
"Still believe I was kidnapped by slaver traders?" Will said sharply. A glint in her eye that Luke knew meant trouble.
"Willow." Luke warned her. He didn't want to pick a fight again. "What do you want me to answer to that? You know my feelings," he said but this time he sounded uncertain. His eyes roamed her again, revaluing her. Will hated that, he's been doing that lot lately. "We don't have much to go on with the little you remember." Luke continued, sounding exasperated.
Will heard a noise, she glanced around. There were still quite a few people around.
"Even if I am here for some absurd reason," Will hissed, "I have been mocked, been belittled, been bullied! The way I see it lots of people don't want me here." Will stood up.
Luke ran a hand over his face, looking frustrated. He quickly got to his feet and closed the distance between them. Will naturally backed off, bumping into his ship.
Luke stared intensely at her, "I know but I want you here. You're my friend. You said you've been bullied your whole life, you don't need a saviour, but you want a friend. I'm here. You weren't happy at home, or as happy sometimes as I felt living on Tatooine. You doubt your family would miss you – "
"I might have been dramatic about my parents not missing me – " Will squeaked. Luke was crowding her space; it was rather overwhelming to have such a person's attention on her. She felt trapped, staring into his blue eyes.
Luke's mouth quirked softly. "I know. Willow, we're the same. You want to explore, I'll take you. You want more. I'll learn the Force and help you to make sense of everything."
Will stared at him. Luke was a passionate person. She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat.
"The Force isn't with me though." she whispered.
"You're wrong. If the Force brought you here, then it is with you." Luke said with such earnest conviction Will wanted to believe him.
Luke's faith in Ben and in the newly discovered Force was rather endearing. That was Luke Skywalker, it was in his essence.
"I wish you could see it the way I see it." Luke sighed. "I know it's not what you want to hear."
"You're right, Luke. It isn't." Will said curtly. "Home is where the heart is."
Luke cocked his head, evidently having never heard of such an expression.
"And like you said, my heart isn't in it." Will said curtly. She side stepped him and made to walk away, not looking back.
Luke sighed again. He leaned with a clenched fist on the side of his X-Wing and thumped his head softy, berating himself. Artoo gave a low mournful beep as he watched Will walk away. The little droid turned his dome head towards Luke and made a small series of beeps.
Luke shook his head.
Artoo turned his sensor to Luke's X-Wing and swivelled back to the retreating figure of Will. He whistled and hopped on his little legs until Luke was suddenly hit with a thought.
"Willow!" Luke called, jogging to catch her.
Will turned when she heard footsteps approach her.
"My X-Wing." Luke panted.
"What?" Will blinked.
"I promised you a spin in my X-Wing." he said.
Will quirked a brow. "It's late." she found herself saying. She ducked her head and eyed her shoes as they awkward stood before each other.
"Even better, it will be quiet." Luke tried. He bit his lip, suddenly shy.
Will hovered for a moment. She wanted to; she really did. Yet, suddenly, her feet grew cold, but her heart already was beating faster at the thought of being in an X-Wing.
"Okay." she muttered.
Luke's face lit up and he adorably gestured with his body to follow him. They approached his starship. Artoo gave Will a happy whistle. Will smiled softly at the droid. Luke pulled the ladder up; the canopy was already open. He turned and looked at Will. The girl in question was staring up at the ship with awe and sudden looming dread. Luke cleared his throat, catching her attention.
Will's gaze snapped to Luke. He was looking at her expectantly, his shifting stance a sign that she wasn't the only one nervous. Or perhaps it was the awkwardness which they left upon from their previous conversation. Will clasped her hands together in front of her, they traded skittish stares. Luke huffed a small laugh and Will pressed her lips together.
"I understand if you don't want to now, you can go to sleep." Luke stuttered.
"It's okay, um, shouldn't you be getting in first?" Will said.
Luke nodded eagerly, "Of course," he murmured as he shook off his yellow jacket and tossed it beside Artoo.
Will was stuck with a thought. "Shouldn't you be wearing a flight suit for this?" she worried.
Luke paused, glancing at her with a sheepish grin. "Yes, but it's only a quick spin." he tried to ease her.
Will remained doubtful. "I don't have a flight suit." she stated the obvious.
"I know," said Luke. He gave her a once over. "Look if you really don't want to now." he said, trying in vain to mask his disappointment as he tentatively stepped closer to her.
Will shook her head, "It's okay, I just worry. Go ahead." she made a vague gesture of the arm to get him going.
Luke bit his lip, debating with himself before his boyish farm boy side came across his features as he smiled at her before jumping up the ladder. Will watched as he hopped into the cockpit, settling himself then peeking over he beckoned her.
Will bit her lip, frowning slightly. Artoo trilled and despite not understanding the little droid, she placed a hand on his dome head, cool and reassuring. After what felt like a long time Will slowly grasped the rung of the ladder and climbed. Luke greeted her as they came face to face, arm coming to hold her steady as she stood. Will nervously stared down at him, feeling unbalanced, her upper body leaning over Luke. She views the X-Wing – the small, cramped space was largely taken up by Luke – how Zak managed to fit himself into one made Will wonder.
"What's so funny?" Luke asked, eyeing her curiously.
Will didn't realize she was laughing softly until his question. "Oh," Will blushed, taking in Luke's puzzled expression. "It's a bit small and I was thinking about how Zak manages to fit his lanky self into one of these." Will smiled.
Luke's eyes narrow and Will watches his gaze unfold. He frowned to himself before looking at her oddly. Will cleared her throat and Luke forces his expression to neutral. He tugs lightly on her arm.
Will sceptically eyed the cockpit – if it can be called that – once more. "How will I fit?" she asked. The X-Wing was designed for one pilot.
"We'll manage," said Luke, glancing around the space, he flicks a switch, as if to reassure himself. "You're small." he added. Luke grinned a white pearly smile as Will paused and glared at him. "Come on." Luke's hands suddenly come under Will's armpits as he moves to lift her in.
Will gracelessly stumbles and her legs flail as she finds herself awkwardly stepping over into the X-Wing. She steps on his boots, several muttered apologies, Will breathes in sharply as hands suddenly appear on her torso and tug her down, Will falls into Luke's lap and the breath in her lungs leave her. Her back hits Luke's chest and she hears him grunt, feels his breath tickle the hairs on the back of her neck.
"Are you okay?" Luke whispered nervously.
"Err," Will stuttered dumbly. Her brain has gone into a frenzy. "You didn't really think this through, did you, Luke?"
There was no reply from Luke.
Will turned her head slightly, peeking up. Luke's eyes meet her sheepishly. They didn't move for a moment. Will became hyperaware of her surroundings. They were in the hangar, out in the open, there were still Rebels wandering by. She felt every exhale and inhale Luke took, felt his warm hands that seemed to be frozen around her waist. Will's hands covered his as she tried to control her breathing. To ground herself or to pull his away, she didn't know. It was a confusing feeling. Will thought she might scream.
She squirmed and Luke gasped. "Sorry!" Will squeaked. Luke shook his head, muttering it was okay, Will wasn't sure.
Will was having flashbacks to being bundled on top of Luke in his landspeeder.
"Are you – are you sure this is safe?" Will questioned carefully. Her legs jittered, bumping in the cramped room. "Maybe this isn't the best idea."
Luke exhaled and Will shivered. She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed he would ignore it. His arms loosened and hers dropped as he grasped the gear stick with both hands.
"I'm, ah, I can do it." Luke said trying to convince both of them. "Willow?"
Will breathed out, she squirmed again, keenly aware.
"If you're uncomfortable you can get out." Luke said, the worry in his tone made Will smile sadly.
"Just give me a moment, I can do this." Will's voice wobbled as she spoke.
Could she? She felt heat gather in her face, pool down her back. She could smell Luke. Engine oil, something metallic and that musky human scent, some form of aftershave maybe. Will breathed him in, her senses going wild. She wanted to burn her skin off, she shouldn't be feeling this way, this was wrong. It felt wrong, she felt wrong… but why did some part of her want it? Will was torn. She was trembling slightly. Luke would notice that, feel it.
Maybe they should just hop into a bigger starship.
"Do you know the controls?" Luke asked as evenly as he could muster when Will adjusted herself and told him to start her it. The ship, not her, his mind quickly supplanted.
Will reached and powered the X-Wing, it hummed to life.
"Good." Luke praised, a proud smile graced his lips and Will craned her neck to beam at him. Luke pulled the ladder up and it folded in on itself.
Will flicked several buttons without being prompted and the canopy shield lowered down and sealed them inside the now seemingly small, tighter space. Will head grazed the top and she shimmied down. She nudged his lightsaber and she flinched. The cool metal rested against his hip. Will found herself going to unclip it.
"Can I remove it? I don't want something to press against it and active it." Will said.
Luke snorted before quickly composing himself. "Yes." His voice now strained.
It took Will several seconds more to realize her choice of words. She blushed furiously. She wanted to open the hatch and jump into the vacuum of space. Instead, she unclipped the lightsaber and it hit the floor of the X-Wing with a thud. She nudged it out of the way with her heel. Will turned to Luke and she swallowed. His face was so close. The faint tan of his skin, the freckles she never noticed before. His adorable chin dimple, the bow of his lips – Will could angle her chin up just so and she could – she frowned and glanced up.
Luke was staring at her, watching through half lidded eyes that made Will's stomach flutter. His blue eyes darker, Will wondered what hers looked to him? Luke seemed to be searching. Will snapped away, turning her head towards the opening of the hangar to the twinkling stars. She missed the way Luke's eyes followed her.
Banging on the shield made Will and Luke jump violently. Will smacked her head and elbowed Luke. They groaned in mutual pain, faces red in embarrassment as a Rebel man in plain coloured uniform stared at them with knowing amusement and exasperation.
"Lieutenant Skywalker! Miss Lynch!" he barked, a coy smirk on his face. "Don't even think about flying out like that. You should know better, Lieutenant." The Rebel man retreated on his little docking speeder.
"Sorry, sir." Luke apologised gruffly. The canopy hissed opened, and Will scrambled out, in her hurry, she nearly forgot the ladder. Luke set it out and Will wasted zero seconds and climbed down.
"Willow! Wait up!" Luke called as he hopped off the ladder, hurryingly clipping his saber on his belt and grabbing his jacket. Artoo whistled and rolled around beside him.
Luke jogged to reach Will. Thankfully Will didn't bolt but maintained a quick gait. Neither said anything as they walked down the corridor to the direction of their quarters area. The only sound came from Artoo's wheels. Will subtly glanced at Luke and found him doing the same. After several less subtle glances Will openly glared at Luke.
"That was embarrassing, Skywalker." Will said.
"Yes." he agreed. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Will said quietly. "I'm tired now."
The conversation was ended before it could begin. She had enough to think about. Luke nodded.
Will closed her door and collapsed onto her bed in a mess. This was all so confusing.
XXX
Will dreamed of an island surrounded by the ocean. The wind whistled past her ears, digging into every part of her skin it could find and pain laced up her bare feet upon the wet stone ground as she stood among stone huts. Sunlight dimmed behind those same grey clouds; spits of rain started to fall. Will took a step forward and the island turned. She was facing the ocean on a rock shore. There was a hole in the sand, dark seaweed vines stretched from the opening like the petals of a flower. Her legs moved of their own violation. Closer. Something was calling her, twisting in her stomach. Reaching for her.
Hands grasped Will and pulled her down onto Luke's lap. Will gasped and her body melted easily against his. His hands were warm, gentle. She was in an X-Wing, more specifically she was in Luke's X-Wing. A vague real-world memory tugged at her consciousness. Will felt light, safe. The island forgotten. Her body moved of its own accord; Luke's hands kneaded her waist through the fabric of her shirt. Will craned her head up, lips press against the exposed skin of her throat. Will sighed, her eyes sliding shut. It doesn't feel weird in dreams. Luke trails his lips under her jaw.
Will awoke with a gasp. Heart thumping.
XXX
Will waited in line for her lunch. She was late today; the others were already seated. Will could just make out a Luke blob in a sea of pilots at a table. She barely had the chance to talk to him today with final preparations for his mission. Luke appeared good natured as always if a little skittish when he first greeted her in the morning. He seemed to be giving her some distance after their conversation.
Will moved steadily in the line, lost in her thoughts as usual until her eyes caught the familiar figure of Rue walking past. Will tried to supress the sense of dread that flared in her chest, she ducked her head in an attempt to remain unnoticed. As if. Rue always sniffed her out. It was as if he had a device, or his long thin nose could sniff her out like a trained hound. Rue's bored eyes glinted at the sight of her. Will steeled herself.
Rue stopped and stared leeringly at Will. She glared back.
"Hey, Nakari!" Rue called suddenly; his gaze flicked to look at the woman in question walking by.
Nakari stopped in her stride, sharp eyes glancing at Rue curiously.
"You and Skywalker?" Rue asked, with lazily smirk.
Will watched Nakari cocked her head, turning fully to face Rue. "Me and Skywalker what?" she asked casually, tucking hair behind her ear.
"You seem fond of each other, was just wondering…" Rue purposefully trailed off. He briefly turned and eyed Will for a moment.
Nakari followed his gaze, noticing Will for the first time. Her eyes lit up and she wordlessly acknowledged Will. Will however, adverted her gaze down at her shoes, shooting Rue a wary glance.
Nakari caught Will's unease and gave Rue a once over. "Rue, I take it?" she asked coolly.
"Elyhek, if you like," Rue smiled, somewhat genuinely. Will made a face.
"Luke is a great man, having worked with him, of course I'm fond of him, missions would be less easy if I wasn't." Nakari said, not interested in playing whatever game Rue wanted.
"Your good friends I take it. I just thought maybe, you know, noticed you guys – "
"He is a good friend of mine. What business of it is yours?" Nakari snapped.
Rue smiled then. "Oh, none of my business I assure you. I was just curious. Forgive me." He turned and caught Will trying to discreetly continue up the line. "I just saw Lieutenant Skywalker and Willow get quite close to each other last night." Rue called, raising his voice, drawing the attention of several Rebels.
Will froze on the spot. Whispers erupted around her. She turned slowly and found several eyes on her that made her unsettled, but it was Nakari's eyes with a look Will couldn't decipher that made her tense.
What was he doing?
Will felt her fingers start to tingle. She swallowed her growing unease.
"We weren't doing anything." Will said, voice suddenly hoarse.
Rue glanced at Nakari. "They were getting up close and personal in his X-Wing, until they got caught." Rue said loudly.
Wolf whistles and jeers chorused through the group of on lookers that formed. Nakari's face morphed into shock, darting her gaze between Rue and Will. Will felt faint. Pilots laughed gleefully at the gossip unfolding. Someone clapped Will on the back, and she jumped violently. They were laughing, shouting taunts.
"That's a lie!" Will shouted. "We didn't do anything. We're not like that – I don't – " Will cut herself short as she heard low laughter at her words. Whispers and eyes grew.
"Has Skywalker still a got good shot?" Someone said followed by laughter.
Will felt tears prick her eyes.
"Look at her –"
"About to cry – "
People whispered, their stares. This was a nightmare. This wasn't happening.
"No, she's clearly a virgin!" Someone called loudly through the group.
More jeers erupted. Will felt her composure crumble. Tears spilled down her cheeks. She made to run but the crowd blocked her way.
"Enough! Whatever game you want to play, Rue, I will not be part of it." Nakari bellowed before swiftly turning on her heels.
Nakari gently grasped Will's hand. The younger girl flinched and tried to pull away, but Nakari held firm. "It's okay, Willow I've – "
Will still fought even as Nakari managed to get the men to move and allow Will to get away.
The commotion in the line had caused the rest of the mess hall to look up. The crowd started to disband, and the a few generals came over to hasten the rowdiness quite down.
"I'm sorry, Willow – " Nakari began.
"Hey Willow!" Rue yelled. "Is it true you were kidnapped by slave traders?"
Will stopped. Nakari stopped, she glanced at Will with wide eyes, her grip on her hand tightened.
The world crashed in on itself. Will couldn't breathe. How could he? He was lurking – the whole time! It seemed everyone near them had stopped. Bile rose to Will's throat as she saw Rebel faces turn and look at her. She was only vaguely aware of running foots steps and Luke's worried voice rushing through her ears.
"What's happening?" Luke asked.
"Willow, it's okay. Let's just get her out of here – " Nakari said.
Will wouldn't move. She watched Rue begin to walk away. Her chest heaved. Will shook Nakari's hand off and pushed Luke and her away.
There were times when Will was very angry. An anger that threatened to engulf her being, cause her to tremble from head to toe and yet, as she yelled without a quiver:
"HEY RUE!"
Her legs were steady, her strides strong and quick paced as she marched across the mess hall floor. Her gaze was focused, trained on the man as he turned round and lazily stand watching her descend upon him with that smirk on his sour face; one which she knew with certain clarity she was going to stop. It filled her lungs, powered her muscles. She reached out, catching a tray from a table. It's cold, reaffirming hard steel gripped tightly in her palms. Her arms were strong and sure as she lifted the tray. Will's gaze tunnelled; the whistle of voices flew past her ears. A pounding beat, she couldn't hear anything else until the sickening thud of metal against flesh as the tray collided clean with Rue's face.
Suddenly the world awoke. Shocked exclamations became clear.
Rue stumbled. Hands coming to his face, he fell, and Will fell with him. She yelled, raising the tray in her hands, baring the blunt steel edge and slammed it down on Rue's face, again, and again, and again.
When Rue's arms stumped and dropped, unable to defend himself did Will falter.
"Willow!"
"Will!"
Will's chest heaved, her knuckles white under splatters of red clutching the tray. Grey steel painted with red.
Hands grabbed her. Will gasped, the tray clattered, she was forced to her feet. Will yelled and swung blindly, her elbow connecting.
"Nakari are you okay?"
Will stopped when she heard Luke's worried voice break through the fog. She looked up Luke was cradling Nakari's face. She was clutching her nose.
"It's okay, it's okay." Nakari murmured.
Will's face crumbled as she saw Luke protectively comfort her, numbly she slowly turned and saw eyes surrounding her. The pilots, the ground techs, the generals – Dodonna, Leia Organa broke through the circle and stopped in her tracks at the scene. Her eyes fell upon Will in shock.
"Will! What did you do?! Leia asked.
Will couldn't speak. She could barely breathe. Couldn't think.
They were afraid of her. Disgusted.
She turned back with knowing dread and her eyes met Luke's.
"Willow," Luke uttered, "What have you done?"
There was a wailing groan from the ground and Rebels quickly scrambled to Rue's aid. Will couldn't see his face with all the blood.
