2: A Horrible Habit
Rated K
"I don't hold with gossip." Bilbo said, handing a basket of cabbages to Frodo. "Put that on the cart, would you, lad? There's enough talk going around this town as it is…most hobbits here have no more sense than an old cow."
"Yes, uncle." Frodo said politely, though he thought cows were actually pretty smart.
"Now see, there's Miss Sandheaver. She's been having Mr Tom Bolger over for tea every day for the past two weeks! And her with her poor husband barely cold in his grave. Some people are saying that's just scandalous. But would I ever repeat that? No!"
Frodo smiled to himself and took three loaves of bread as Bilbo paid the stall-owner.
"We need some fish, now." said Bilbo, leading his nephew over to the fishmonger's cart. "Some tuna, please, and a big salmon. Now, what was I saying, Frodo? Ah yes, gossip. You see, lad, it just isn't proper to talk about other folks behind their backs. Mrs Rose Brandybuck, for instance, you must have heard her talking up a storm when you lived at Brandy Hall. Always going on about who stole cabbages at the Three-Farthing fair or how the Tooks can't keep their sheep off the adjoining fields. Mrs Rose is an awful gossip. Not good at all. Nor is it proper to do it in writing. Milo Baggins, you know Milo? The same hobbit whose daughter eloped with the lad from Gamwich? And his oldest son is such a lazybones, he won't stir around the house. Not that Milo needs his children to work—he's supposed to have more money than just about all the neighbors put together. Anyways, Milo will gossip about people through letters. It's disgraceful."
They had left the fishmongers now, and we're headed back over Bywater Bridge with Frodo pulling the cart of groceries. Bilbo talked the entire trip home.
"Yes." Bilbo finished at long last, opening the door of Bag End. "You must never gossip about people, Frodo-lad. It's a horrible habit. Almost as bad as constant smoking."
"Yes, Uncle." Frodo said soberly.
"Now, would you put these groceries away, dear boy? I've got to go out for a smoke. Just what I need to relax me."
