Say you will
A dozen women gathered on the dance floor, screechy laughter and loud whistles as they waited for the bride to throw the bouquet, jokingly spreading their arms to guarantee their space. At the tables, the gentlemen sat waiting for their dates, gulping their drinks, some visibly sweating, and all of them desperately trying to carry on conversations while dreading their fates. You get the bride's bouquet, you're next getting married, they all grew up believing in it and pretending not to care, but now that these flowers could magically impose to their boyfriends that their bachelor time was up, it couldn't hurt to try to catch them.
For most women, at least.
Donna didn't even budge from her seat. The whiskey glass in front of her was far more attractive than risking an injury in total humiliation, considering all the ladies stumbling and scrambling for a slight advantage in position.
Nobody at the Zane Specter Litt table she was sitting at had dared to push her to join the aggressive herd of sheep the women resembled, although she could tell Louis was struggling to remain quiet.
As the DJ stopped the music and handed the microphone to Rachel, Louis stared at Donna.
"I think Rachel would like you to stand there," he finally said, fidgeting on his chair.
"And I think Rachel is doing this because of her desperate cousins," Donna replied, not even turning to face him.
"It's just a ritual, Donna... you're taller than all those…witches," he caught himself before saying anything too bad. "You'd definitely get it!" he insisted.
"It's a stupid, archaic ritual that shocks my feminist heart, Louis. Besides, who says I want to get it?" She replied sharply, shifting her attention to the bride, who was starting to speak.
Rachel turned to face the crowd rather than starting a countdown, and everyone looked puzzled.
"I have a different idea for this, ladies, so I hope you'll forgive me for breaking the tradition. But I adore all of you," she said as she started to peel singular flowers out of the arrangement "and I would hate for this gorgeous bouquet to possibly be totally destroyed considering how eager some of you look," she paused, and whispered the rest of her thoughts "and the level of alcohol in your bloodstream…"
Laughter broke out from the room.
Donna gave Louis a stare.
"Told you it was stupid," she mocked, proudly looking at her friend.
"I would also not like to see you get hurt," Rachel spoke as she signaled for them to come closer to her, "so you'll each get to have one flower..."
An "awww" was heard in unison as Rachel continued to hand small lilies to each woman. Jessica started to applaud, and the crowd followed.
When she finished, a good amount of lilies, the larger ones, still remained fully arranged on her hands. She turned off the microphone and asked one of the ladies to return it to the DJ, discreetly walking to one of the firm's tables.
Donna watched her approach, totally shrinking the closer she got.
"Don't you dare, Rachel Zane," she thought to herself.
Rachel stood in front of her before she could finish her thought. She handed her the bouquet, bending down to whisper next to Donna's ear:
"These represent a return to happiness, and I want you to have them."
Donna felt a knot forming in her throat. "Rach, no, this is..." she tried to protest, highly aware that they were being watched by every single person in the room. "It's just a wish, from me to you, because I love you," the bride said as she kissed her cheek and looked back up, raising her eyebrows at Harvey, who sat with a few clients at a table a few feet away. He raised a glass back at her.
"I can't possibly..." Donna made motion to stand up, but was stopped by the weight of Jessica's hand on her arm.
"You don't want to be indelicate now, Donna. It's a beautiful gesture from Rachel. Just because you don't believe in it, doesn't mean she can't believe in it for you," Jessica said, immediately convincing Donna, who forced a smile and settled back down.
For what seemed like hours, everyone at their table sat uncomfortably, exchanging shy glances.
"Well... I was kind of looking forward to seeing them all on the ground, " said Louis, breaking the silence, making everyone laugh as the DJ called all guests out to the dance floor.
As they found their rhythm to the sound of 80's R&B and pop music, all reminiscing on their twenties, as liquor kicked in and heels were kicked off, Donna let her guard down after hugging Rachel once again and dancing it out. Something about Jessica Pearson shaking her black magic away is very reassuring, she thought, actually trying to enjoy the party.
In an incredibly unsubtle way only DJs seem to master, the unruly mood was totally shifted at the sound of a slow song, his attempt to tame the crowd and get booze for himself. As the majority of the people exited the space to refill their drinks or head to the restrooms, Donna didn't hesitate in following along, moving straight back to their table.
She took the chance to drink some water in between her Macallan glasses and couldn't help but to swoon at Mike and Rachel posing for pictures, although their balance wasn't so great as in the beginning of the reception, their giggles were definitely louder.
She hadn't realized she stood alone until she felt his presence behind her.
Donna immediately tensed up as a cornered prey.
"Donna," he said, the way only he knew how.
"Harvey," She acknowledged him, and he grew stiff at the sound of her voice saying his name.
"Having a good time?" he said, making small talk, unsure of how to approach her. "I was."
Harvey silently took the hit, and hoping she hadn't noticed how unsettled he was, standing slightly behind her, he felt like he needed another shot. She hadn't turned her head to even look at him, and he couldn't handle the distance anymore.
Donna wondered if he'd noticed that she did her best to take a deep breath without letting him see it. He'd been watching her the whole time.
"I didn't get the chance to say it but," he paused, sipping his drink, hiding the need to scratch his throat. "You look stunning."
They had walked hand in hand a couple hours ago, fulfilling their roles in the ceremony, playing their parts all too well as they had in 13 years. Donna and Harvey were always better at being a pretend "couple" before they could be a real one, better at being together rather than apart; they were great at being a team and allies, all too professional and all too focused between the firm's walls.
But this was uncharted territory.
"I might have believed you 3 hours ago, not when I'm sweaty, drunk and my shoes are hurting me," she said, and he didn't waste time noticing the humor hiding the vulnerability.
"Donna, I can't stop looking at you," he whispered close to her ear, as Donna froze on her feet.
"Harvey," she managed to whisper, but her warning fell flat.
"I miss you," he blurted out, unimpressed at his self control, angry at his inability to find something better to say.
She closed her eyes, trying her best to avoid her emotions, pretending not to melt at how honest he sounded.
"You're drunk," she jokingly added as a strategy to shut him up.
Harvey didn't back down.
"Possibly," he nodded. "But that just means I manage to say I miss you out loud, doesn't mean it's not true," he quipped, because he always had a goddamn answer for everything.
That's what made him such a good lawyer.
But this wasn't a case, he wasn't in court, and when it came to their relationship, he wasn't a closer.
"That is literally what alcohol does, Harvey. It affects your judgment," she turned to him, annoyed and attracted, angry yet weak. " So you think you miss me but you've just had one too many," she raised her voice a tad bit, enough for him to notice her lack of faith in whatever he said.
"I missed you yesterday and the day before and the day before that, and I wasn't drunk any of those days."
She felt his hand on hers, and sensed his breath as he took a step closer. Suddenly she was holding on to the back of the chair, knowing the alcohol wasn't the only thing making her dizzy.
"And the thing is, Donna, I have learned that when someone tells you they feel something, it's arrogant at its finest to act like they don't."
And there it was, she was caught on the spell she had cast, as it had been Donna herself who had told him that a few dozen times, had insisted with him that feelings are singular. No one feels exactly the same, no one can deny how others feel. As she realized tears starting to water her eyes, she couldn't help but smile. Proud, and smitten, she bit the inside of the cheek.
But right as she let her hand hold his, they were interrupted by Mike's voice on the microphone, shouting his name.
"Haarveeey… I need you on this one, man."
What the actual fuck, it was all Harvey could think before he was forced to run to the stage as his presence was requested by a louder by the second intoxicated groom.
Donna brought the hand he was holding to cover her mouth, surprised at the missed opportunity and at what her ears could make sense.
"What do you think you're doing?" Harvey asked, covering the microphone, but Mike pulled it back as Harvey smiled awkwardly at the audience.
"This is a song Harvey and I would like to dedicate to our wives… I mean to my wife and to … " Mike said before Harvey covered the microphone again.
"Mike! What the hell? What song?" He asked, sweat starting to break on his face as he hoped the other guests wouldn't notice, but all eyes were on them.
Donna couldn't hide her amusement, noticing how embarrassed Harvey looked.
"The one you showed me the other day," Mike said, thinking he was whispering, and Harvey froze at the memory.
Goddamn it
He hadn't exactly shown him, he had just happened to be interrupted as he answered the door bell and Mike barged in before he had the time to switch off the song playing in the background. It was one of her favorites and he would have never even been listening to it had he not been so desperate for anything that made him miss her an ounce less.
Ridiculous then and absolutely wrong now, he thought.
He noticed Rachel's smile and couldn't make an even bigger scene.
The DJ looked in hesitation at Rachel and at Harvey as he searched for the groom's request.
Donna shifted on her feet. This can't be good, she feared, then turned to eye Rachel across the room, as the bride shrugged and threw her arms up, completely unaware of the stunt her now husband was pulling.
"This is a song Harvey showed me that nobody knows but him," Mike said, "Because no one in this room is weird enough to know," he added proudly, laughing, and only Harvey knew that wasn't true.
She knew. She would remember.
"But I actually liked it so… Here's to my gorgeous bride, my fate, my everything. I would turn every tide for you, Rach. May I have one more dance?"
Rachel walked over smiling, and as she was about to kiss him, Mike spoke over the mic again.
"And may our best man and maid of honor join us on this dance as well?"
Donna discreetly waved him off, shaking her head. She wondered how naive she was at the thought she would go through this wedding unscathed.
Harvey's eyes searched eagerly for Donna's, finding her on the left corner of the room. All of a sudden it was their party, and he decided to take it as a different way of proving he had been serious, of proving how he felt, a private moment in front of hundreds.
She felt like in a dream, those where you try to run but your legs won't move and everything freezes around you. It was mesmerizing, how his hoarse voice went through each word of the song that she had played for them, the same day when they held hands, their super-hero-like pose looking out the window of his office, a Harvey and Donna against the world moment she knew he also remembered.
He mouthed "dance with me" as he saw her looking at him. Donna couldn't help the corners of her mouth from rising for him, full on grinning after another turn on the chorus. He felt like the only man standing, the luckiest, and decided to gamble, go "all in" as he extended his arm and called her to the dance floor with his hand. To his surprise, like a fish being pulled by the string on the rod, the song being the perfect bait, he watched the familiar move of her hips, this time towards him. "Goddamn Mike Ross," he thought as she made it into his arms right as the DJ geared another track.
"That was pathetic," she said as her arms fell on his shoulder, the movement too familiar to both. "I've never been more embarrassed."
"Who said I was singing it for you?" He joined her jokingly.
"Mike did. I'm embarrassed for you. I had to come dance to save you from completely disgracing your image."
He let out a full laugh.
"Thank you," he said formally. "I promise to handle my liquor better next wedding."
"Next wedding?" She moved her face to look at him.
He pulled her closer and whispered in her ear.
"You have the bouquet."
She froze, but he was quick to sway her back into rhythm.
