Chapter 44.

Cas decided not to go to Sioux Falls that morning. He called Bobby to check how things were and that the demons were not engaged in active hostilities and was happy to hear that Samandriel was now directly assisting Bobby, who would not take advantage of his innocence and instinct to serve.

Cas had been willing to keep his distance if Dean and Anael needed him to and Sioux Falls offered the perfect retreat had that been necessary, but the way things were going, it wasn't. His ill-considered reaction and remarks had not managed to destroy their chances and now the feeling in the bunker was one of peace and harmony. He wanted to stick around and enjoy it.

He sat in the library, close to Jules, listening to Jules, Eileen, Charlie and Sam talking about the Harry Potter marathon and Lydia. The soothing rhythms of their conversation reminded him how lucky he was to be at the heart of such a family. He didn't fully understand the appeal of Harry Potter, but the stories made Sam, Eileen and Charlie very happy and that was enough reason for him to be grateful for their existence.

He had a reasonable acquaintance with the texts, thanks to Metatron, but the little in-jokes and asides didn't always make sense to him. Apocalypse World had been too sunk in war and despair for the publication of any blockbusters, so Jules was more at a loss than he was, but she listened and laughed and tried to understand.

"Dean called me a geek." said Charlie.

"He calls me that all the time." said Sam.

"It's affectionate." said Cas.

Charlie chuckled. "I don't care what he calls me. I love him anyway. Lydia asked me if I'd ever move out of the bunker. She was thinking maybe I can't bear to leave the family here."

"You don't leave this family." said Jules, "It just expands out into the world. It can encompass Ionia, it can encompass Burr Oak. That was the idea, wasn't it? That you would move in with her?"

"Yeah, that was the idea." said Charlie, "Not right away, just someday."

"Any time you want to leave, we'll completely understand." said Sam, "Although you can expect regular calls to check you're okay, because you have two over-protective big brothers who still feel bad about the last time they let you out of their sight."

"I wish they could let that go." she said.

"So do they," said Sam, "But I don't think we ever will. So we'll call and we'll visit and if you go quiet, we'll freak out just a little."

"I hate the reason for it, but I kinda like that." she said, "For most of my life, I was barely on anyone's radar. Over-protective big brothers are great."

"Glad you said that," he said, "Because even if I could overcome my protective instincts ... and I have a little, where Eileen's concerned ..."

"He so hasn't." Said Eileen, "He just got better at finding excuses to call me when he's 'not at all worried' about me."

"Okay, maybe," said Sam, "But I definitely can't distract Dean from Big Brother duty. Believe me, I've been trying my whole life."

"Dean may have found his own distraction." said Jules. She glanced at Cas and he nodded.

"I hope so." he said.

"They're good." Charlie assured him, "Which is great, because if I'm moving out, I need to know my boys will be okay and Dean was the one I was most worried about."

"You are planning to move out, then?" said Sam.

"I figure, life's uncertain and love's rare and I can't tell Dean to go for it and then chicken out myself. Gotta set a good example." There was a long pause and then she said, "I'm not rushing out the door, but the heart wants what the heart wants and my heart loves watching magic movies with my magical librarian."

"Sounds pretty perfect to me." said Sam.

After a while, Cas got up and wandered away from the chatter in the library and patrolled the corridors as he often had in times of stress, to protect and watch over his brothers. Today, it was a far more relaxed feeling, something he did just to enjoy the knowledge that no danger threatened and even their internal torturers were silent and still.

When he reached the garage and saw Dean and Anael sitting on the floor, a tool box between them on the ground, both of them laughing as Dean twirled a hunting knife, he turned to go, not wishing to intrude. Dean's voice stopped him. "Come here, Cas." he said, "I was just telling Anael that a good knife can substitute for most tools, in a pinch."

Cas went over, hoping he could avoid saying anything stupid. Dean's topics of conversation might seem oddly unromantic to others, but Cas knew from personal experience that those who were uneasy with romance would rely on the strangest subjects.

He had once explained the working of the sun to Jules for twenty minutes, just to have a reason to keep talking to her and she, bless her, who had a clear understanding of the physics involved, listened with every sign of fascination. Love, it seemed to him, was often shown in the enjoyment of conversations that would be painful to endure, were the other speaker a different person.

Dean fixed him with a questioning look and he realised that his silence was troubling him. "You okay, Cas?" said Dean.

"Sorry." He said, "I was thinking of Jules." It was true and it instantly made Dean seem less anxious.

"Good thoughts, I hope." said Dean.

"Just thinking how much I love talking to her." said Cas.

Dean nodded. "She's a very special lady."

Cas almost said the same of Anael, but he stopped himself. Dean would say it wasn't the same thing and that he and Anael were not lovers, even though, in every sense including the literal, they actually were. His denials would hurt Anael and then he would feel guilty and it would all be Cas's fault all over again.

After a while, Dean said, "It's okay. You don't have to walk on eggshells. We're not as delicate as we look."

"You're two of the strongest people I know," said Cas, "But things have been a little ... " He wobbled his hand.

"Yeah, I guess they have." said Dean, "Would it help if I said we are some kind of couple now?"

"Some kind?" said Cas.

"Think of us as like you and Jules in the early days, unsure on the details, but pretty strongly together." said Dean.

"He lets me say that I love him now." said Anael.

That seemed like good progress, although Cas was certain that Dean was not saying it back. He nodded encouragingly.

"This box of tools is for her." said Dean, "I picked out the stuff she'll need. She has the necessary knowledge to use it." Cas heard the "unlike you" that Dean did not say. He wouldn't say it, but he thought it. Once, Cas would have felt diminished and criticised just by the thought of Dean thinking it, but those days were gone. Dean loved him, whether or not he could fix a car, but the fact that Anael could do it boded well for their future together. Another little thing they had in common, to balance out the terrible difference that was her angelic nature and his defiant humanity.

"I love the tool kit." said Anael, "It's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

Dean looked troubled again and Cas knew he was thinking how sad her life must have been if that were true. Cas knew it was true and it meant nothing of the kind, because angels became deeply moved by the weirdest things, like someone taking the time to find them the perfect tools or a lighter with a Latin inscription, or someone to hold in the lonely watches of the night. Dean saw her as deprived and settling for him. Cas knew that she was just beginning to understand how sensitive and loving and kind Dean was and how lucky she was to know him. He remembered that journey of discovery and how completely his own mind had been blown.