Disclaimer: I own nothing.
It was not the first time she felt that way. A feeling of being alone even though she was surrounded by people. A feeling of hopelessness in the middle of the party.
She was good at it. Penelope could switch off her mind in any situation. That had allowed her to keep her sanity in situations where she would have liked to scream. Like that night when her parents died. When she found out Spencer was kidnapped. When she thought she'd lost Emily forever.
Like that day when relief and pain merged into one feeling. Derek was safe. Relief. Savannah was pregnant. Pain.
She remembered that exact moment when her heart broke into a thousand pieces. But everything would get worse.
As she pulled her two pigtails into place, her purple eyes were glued to her reflection in the mirror. She smiled. She loved those contacts. She loved Harley Quinn.
Penelope felt she shared so many vibes with her. Both had loved the man who needed them but did not love them. They were perfect for their egos. The light in their darkness. His God's given solace. She-wolf who licked his wounds. Never his loved one. Never his queen.
He not only married another woman. Derek decided to move away. He left her. Like when you throw away a piece of paper that is no longer useful because it was torn from drying your tears.
He thought it was a good idea to uproot their whole history together.
Penelope swallowed hard just before taking a big gulp of her tequila. She learned to live without him. Her life went on without his smile. Against all odds, Penelope was still Penelope without him. She survived his goodbye. Her heart was wrong to think she was going to die.
His goodbye only made her stronger. A colder but happier woman. She had changed in the way she related to men. Her soul was no longer looking for love, no longer looking for a fairytale romance.
And now, just when she didn't want any heroes to rescue her, Penelope had two men ready to put the world at her feet.
She put her drink back in her mouth and slid every last drop of alcohol down her throat.
Penelope set the empty glass on the table and grabbed her baseball bat, a fundamental part of her costume.
"Hey Penny"
Her friend stood in front of her, a huge smile on his face. Spencer offered her another full glass of alcohol. She shook her head.
"That's very kind of you, Clark Kent. But I'm pretty intoxicated. Thank you"
Penelope gave him a hug before heading out into the garden. She looked around, a gang of superheroes enjoying the evening.
JJ and Will (Catwoman and Green Lantern) were dancing like teenagers, carefree because their kids were with their grandmother and they had the whole night to themselves. Aaron and David (Cyborg and Doctor Strange) simply watched their younger friends laughing in the middle of the makeshift arena that was the garden of Rossi's mansion.
Batman and Superman danced with WonderWoman, sharing a bottle of Jagger. Well, Emily wasn't drinking. But she was laughing just as hard as they were, maybe even harder.
Penelope smiled sadly. Her joker was watching her from the center of the garden. He had stopped dancing with JJ and even his smile had faded. She was sure Luke had noticed her mental fatigue in her eyes. Despite her contact lenses.
He whispered something in Will's ear, Will nodded and he left the dance floor. Luke was on her in less than twenty seconds.
"You were the one who wanted to come"
His words sounded like a reproach but they weren't. He just wanted to know why she was so discouraged, if she had been looking forward to that party for weeks.
Luke smiled slightly. She could feel his warm hands on her waist. Penelope shivered. She already knew how his fingers felt on her skin. And it felt perfect.
But then...
Why couldn't she give him her heart? Why couldn't she be faithful? At what point had she become a soulless bitch?
Penelope bit her lower lip. Her gaze was riveted on that black man, whose costume clung to his muscles as if the fabric were latex. She shuddered. She shuddered in the same way she had when Luke placed his hands on her bare waist. It was clear that her body still remembered those nights in Miami. She wanted it even more than before. Now she had tasted him. She already knew what it felt like to be under his body. On top. In every possible position.
But then...
Why was she unable to speak to him? Why did she feel resentment in the bottom of her heart? At what point did her love turn into something so dirty?
"Penelope. Stop it"
His tone of voice brought her back to reality. She turned her full attention back to Luke. He was not happy. He hadn't been happy for a few minutes.
Penelope knew he was not happy with those dances he had shared with Derek earlier. He didn't want to show anger but he was having a hard time with his emotions control.
She could see it in the way his expression changed in just a minute. His thick lips formed a thin line and his eyes studied her face, surely searching for an answer.
Penelope wrapped her arms around his waist. She brought her devil-red painted mouth close to his, but Luke grabbed her wrists and pulled her away from him. Now it was her turn to get angry. It was clear that alcohol and Penelope Garcia did not get along. That was something she had learned since she was seventeen.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
Luke laughed sarcastically and moved closer to her, their faces only inches apart.
"Me? What's wrong with you" he whispered, now bringing his mouth close to her ear "Stop looking at him when you're talking to me"
She noticed how the heat entered her body all the way to her cheeks. Penelope didn't know she was being so obvious. Her voice was barely a whisper as she clasped his hands.
"Luke, I was just going to kiss you and you turned me down."
He looked her up and down, with a gleam in his dark eyes that seemed to moisten his gaze.
"I'm nobody's plan B, Pen. I'm not your washcloth of tears, a rag you can use and throw away whenever you feel like it."
Penelope felt her lower lip tremble. She knew how he was feeling. That's exactly how she had felt a few years ago. No, she could not and would not become that kind of monster.
She grabbed his face between her hands, giving him a kiss. Penelope closed her eyes and pressed her body against his. Her left hand tangled in his black hair but he was still as cold as ice. She decided to go further, using her free hand to tuck it inside his shirt. Penelope noticed how his stomach muscles tightened under her fingers and smiled against his mouth.
"You know I love you. You don't have to be jealous."
Luke let himself be loved. One more time. He yielded to her persuasion and let her tongue tangle with his. When air was needed, Penelope broke the kiss.
And to her surprise, it hadn't worked. Luke Alves was still as serious as a funeral home worker. She sighed wearily. She didn't feel like arguing. She just wanted to have fun, just like her friends. Her body wasn't full of tequila for nothing.
"I'm going to dance. If you want to come, you know where I am."
"Yeah, right next to Morgan."
Now it was her turn to frown. He stood in front of her, arms crossed and chin raised.
"What? You're going to deny it?"
She wrinkled her lips in a sneer that only came out when she drank too much.
"I don't run after anyone, honey. He's the one who asked me to dance. And he's the one who brought me that drink."
The man shook his head. His dark eyes wandered up and down her body and dropped to her pretty face. He gave her a sad smile.
"That guy ran off with someone else. He only came back because his marriage has become boring. Morgan doesn't love you. He just wants that feeling you can give him. The feeling of being an adored man."
Penelope had to blink several times to keep her tears from shattering her makeup. His words hurt her soul. And they hurt because they were true. Luke was right. But he had touched her weak spot. And not even his love-filled eyes could stop the rage she was feeling.
"I'm not in love with him, Luke" She said in a louder tone than she should have "Do you think I'm stupid?"
Luke gawked at her.
"I didn't say anything like that. I just want you to remember how much you've cried over that guy these past few years. God, even your emotional stability still depends on him."
"That's not your problem" She shouted, approaching him "You are no one to judge me!"
"I'm not judging you."
His voice was already tinged with hysteria. He felt like he was fighting with a wall. His mind was tired and his heart was full of pain. No, he didn't want to be silent anymore. He could no longer.
"Pen, I just want you to see reality" he lowered his voice again, moving closer to her. Even though everyone was already watching their show "He broke you. He left you. He vanished. He's been a ghost to you. He didn't even call you on your last birthday. And here you are, wanting to crawl into his bed."
She sighed heavily. No, she wasn't going to let those words make her bleed. He was just jealous.
"We're not that different. I've already told you I don't want a relationship. We're a no-strings-attached thing. And here you are, jealous as hell and I'm not even your girlfriend."
Luke narrowed his eyes. It was clear she had been drinking. He'd had too much to drink, too. But they say drunks always tell the truth.
"Derek knew you were still available to him. That guy knows you're dying to fuck him again."
Penelope let out an angry laugh. He knew because the vein in her neck was still throbbing under her skin.
"So what if I want to fuck him? I'm single and I can sleep with whomever I damn well please. And that doesn't mean I need his love, just like I don't fucking need yours."
The man swallowed saliva and breathed in nervously, as Penelope came dangerously close to him again. Her fingers wandered down his chest and up his neck to his face. She grabbed his jaw between her hands, forcing him to look her in the eye.
"Maybe the only thing I feel like tonight is someone tugging on my pigtails while some moans warm the back of my neck. Gotta get some mileage out of this damn costume, don't you think?"
Luke looked at her. He knew perfectly well what she was doing. Penelope was drunk but she was still the same defiant girl.
"Don't play games with me, Garcia. I don't feel into your little things right now."
Penelope laughed at his angry face and watched him leave the party without a word. Thank God, at least he said goodbye to poor Spencer Reid who was looking at her with a question mark on his face.
She shrugged her shoulders. She didn't feel like explaining herself.
Penelope approached the garden, pretending that nothing had happened. Inside, though, she was furious with Luke. She was aware that he was partly right. But she didn't have to answer to him about her life or her decisions. He wasn't her husband or father.
She was free. Her soul was free. Her body belonged only to her.
"When did Alvez leave?"
Penelope looked at the other blonde woman, her blue eyes peering out from behind that cat mask.
"He got angry and decided to leave." She frowned "Bye to my superhero sex night."
Emily raised her dark eyes upward.
"Jeez, what a dirty mind."
A smirk crept across her pale face.
"But I love that side of you, Penelope. I'm glad you're finally enjoying that body God gave you."
The three friends laughed and continued dancing. The men were no longer so animated, the five of them were sitting at the table having a drink.
An hour later, the party was winding down. JJ and Will went home. Emily took a drunken Spencer loaded with gifts home. Aaron decided he wasn't going to take the car after having a few drinks. He accepted Rossi's offer to spend the night at his mansion.
"There are still rooms free, Garcia" David told her, resting his hand on her shoulder "You know you can stay here."
Penelope pulled her cell phone out of the pocket of her electric blue shorts and searched for the Uber app.
"Thank you, sir. But I want to take a shower and sleep with my cat."
The older man smiled and kissed her cheek. Penelope hugged him tightly. She couldn't help but feel that the man was like her father.
David walked her to the door.
"I know Morgan is going to run out after you. Otherwise, I'd have to keep you kidnapped here until tomorrow."
Penelope laughed in response. No one could hide anything from David Rossi.
She put on the white, red and blue jacket. She saw herself reflected in the glass of a car.
It was the best costume she'd ever had in her life. She decided to take out her Iphone and place it in the window frame. She programmed the phone to take the picture automatically.
Penelope sat on the hood of the black car, spreading her legs apart. She placed the bat horizontally behind her neck and held each end in her hands. The light from the flash alerted her that the picture was already taken.
She grabbed her phone and saw the photo. It was perfect for her Instagram.
"Going home?"
His deep voice wandered through her right ear straight to her clitoris. She certainly had to stop drinking for good.
"Morgan, I don't like feeling you behind me. You invade my personal space."
"Liar"
He whispered against the back of her neck, as his huge hands settled on either side of her hips. His fingers squeezed her curves, pushing her whole body back.
Penelope let out a faint moan as she felt his mouth wander hungrily down her neck. She rested her head on his shoulder, giving more skin to his wet kisses. A smile broke out on her face.
"Oh, what's that I feel hard against my ass? is that the bat-signal?"
He just chuckled against her shoulder, as his hands roamed deliciously over her stomach and waist. She couldn't help but return his caresses. Her hands roamed his forearms, though the fabric was cold under her fingertips.
"I've missed you."
She closed her eyes and breathed in sharply. She had missed him some night, too. It had been more than two months since the last time, in that hotel.
Penelope turned to face him. He smiled, as he had always smiled. Just like he smiled at her before he met Savannah. Like the naughty child who knows he's going to misbehave. Like when you're on a diet and your mouth is salivating at the cake you're about to eat.
"Have you had time to miss me, hottie?" She whispered against his half-open mouth "Trouble in paradise?"
He ran his hands down from her waist to her hips. His long fingers trapped her flesh, squeezing hard on every bit of her ass.
"Don't want paradise. I'd rather burn in your hell"
She wrapped her arms around his broad neck like a snake.
"If fucking you is wrong then dont wanna be right"
"Well, likewise, mama"
