Hi, hello, how is everyone? I'm sorry that I'm taking so long in between updates, but I promise it's not on purpose. There has been a lull in my inspiration for the story. Please enjoy though!


When you are not sure of what you stand to lose.

(Present Day)

out of reach, out of form


Autumn had begun to fade from their lives, a soft breath, quiet and unpretentious. The rosiness that had decorated the trees and set the hills ablaze in colors was beginning to fade, leaving behind tree branches that glistened with dew. There is a peace that comes from observing the natural world as the colors fade to reds and then to nothing at all. Hinata always thought that there was something haunting about the trees as they reached for the skies with their branches void of their leaves. In the chaos of nature there was beauty, and amid the human turmoil it never failed to bring her comfort. Seasons change, colors morphed, and as the snow from winter melted spring would greet them with vivid colors and smells. She adjusted her muffler, it was a cold afternoon. The crisp autumn air pushed painfully into her lungs, but she had picked the meeting spot and for once she wished she had listened to Itachi when he suggested a coffee shop instead.

She gently rocked the swing she was sitting on, and buried her hands deeper into her pockets. The swaying motion was soothing, her gray eyes searched the horizon for answers that she knew wouldn't be there. Haru had been inconsolable, there was a fear in her son that she had not seen before. Her gentle boy was torn between wanting to know Sasuke and not wanting the man within a 10 mile radius of them. She could understand wanting to meet him, she even had some questions she would like answered herself, but could not fathom where the fear Haru felt came from. Part of her wondered if he feared that Sasuke would take her away, or take him away. Hinata had not given her son any reason to believe that she would allow anyone to separate them, but there were things about Haru that even she did not know. Fears and concerns that he had not shared with her, and though she hated to admit it, Haru had not had the most stable formative years. Knowing that she only had herself to blame for this didn't help to lift her mood, but it did give her something to think about.

It was not often that she allowed herself to think about the what ifs of her life. Hinata tried tirelessly to not dwell, knowing that doing so could cause her mental state to deteriorate rapidly. Still, there were times where she couldn't help it. What ifs were breathed into life not just by hope, but also by regret and try as she may, Hinata spent many of her days drowning in a pool of regrets. Haru had thrived in the years after Itachi had found them, he had found in himself a quiet confidence that rivaled that of most Hyuuga. Long gone was the child that looked fearfully at her face when she came home, as though trying to find within the lines around her eyes whether she was there to stay that day. He had grown into a young man, who looked too much like his father when he frowned and too much like her when he smiled. She was grateful, and overwhelmed every time that he dazzled her with a grin. At one point she feared that much like his own father the only thing that he would ever do was smirk in her direction. Haru was everything that was good in her and she could only hope that he would continue to cultivate those traits within himself.

The sound of leaves crunching under the pressure of steps and the rustle of cashmere as it moved closer brought her out of her reverie, pale gray eyes looked up to meet dark obsidian ones and she could not help the smile that broke over her face as she stared at a disgruntled Itachi whose nose was turning red.

"Hello, Itachi-san." Hinata greeted him, taking in his disheveled hair, the long cashmere coat he wore and how he buried his hands deeply into their pockets. He looked absolutely miffed. There was a displeased crease to his brow and a soft downturn to his mouth that would have been hard to spot if she had not been at the receiving end of that look so many times before.

"Hinata," he greeted her before furrowing his brow further. "It's freezing." The aplomb with which he made that observation made her break into a small fit of giggles. He harrumphed and approached her, shielding her from the wind with his body as he stood directly in front of her. His legs were now to each side of her own outstretched ones. She could no longer rock the swing she sat upon, pouting she glared at the taller man.

"I did suggest we go to a coffee shop." He sighed as he shrugged. "What was so urgent that you needed to meet me here instead of somewhere with central heating?"

Hinata could tell that he was displeased, she had never considered if Itachi liked the cold or not as he did not show displeasure, but right now, looking at him as he stared her down with the cashmere coat wrapped tightly against his body and his hands buried deep within his pockets she thought that maybe, just maybe, the cold did bother the elder Uchiha brother. Despite his obvious distaste for their current location, he did not demand that they move, he did not grab her or yell. Itachi simply angled his body to provide her with protection from the winds and looked at her as he waited for Hinata to gather her thoughts and put them into words.

"Haru figured out that your brother is in town." The words that she had been holding finally left her mouth in a whisper. Hinata knew that he would hear her, he always did.

She peeked through her bangs to look at him and was surprised to find his eyes shadowed by feelings that she couldn't describe. Itachi had always been protective, sometimes overly so, but she could never really understand the reason why. Haru had attached himself to Itachi like one would an older brother and despite her many attempts to get Itachi to go out and date it had all fallen on deaf ears. Itachi was content, or so he said.

"Hm…" he hummed. With a sigh he took his hands out of his pockets and grabbed the chains of the swing, now fully trapping Hinata with his limbs. "What do you make of that?" He wasn't really looking at her, his eyes were focused somewhere to the left side of her ear and for some reason she found that vexing.

"We can't really keep them from finding each other." Hinata supplied, her brows furrowing in concern. "Have you heard anything from your parents? Maybe they have an idea on how to make this introduction happen." She asked hopefully. Her breath caught in her throat as his eyes moved to stare directly into hers.

"Apparently father has been trying to tell Sasuke for years." The smirk that played along his lips was sad and before she could stop herself Hinata had reached to touch his cheek gently with her cold hand. Instead of flinching away as she expected him to, Itachi leaned into her touch, his eyes closing. "He has not been successful. Whatever caused your separation wounded my little brother."

The soft breaths that left his lips as he murmured the words sent chills down her wrist, his fringe tickled her fingers as it swayed with the winds and his words. Itachi opened his eyes to look at her and with a gasp torn from her throat the spell was broken. She moved her hand back as though his skin had burned her, her cheeks colored slightly with the devastating smirk he pinned her with. Using her legs she pushed the swing back, Itachi let go of it easily, not bothered by her obvious recoil away from him. Her hands fluttered to her bangs as she tried to adjust her hair. If she wasn't so busy trying to calm her heart she would have managed to laugh at what Itachi had just said. Itachi moved his now free hand to place a stray strand of hair behind her ear before taking a few steps back. The cloud that formed as he exhaled disguised his face just enough that Hinata was not able to read the emotion that fleetingly passed through his eyes. If she were to be honest with herself she would admit that she wondered what life would have been like if she had entertained the idea of becoming a nuclear family with him. Itachi had never hinted that he held feelings for her that were anything other than platonic, but HInata had never asked. When they spoke of Haru they always did as a couple would, as parents would. Pride would swell for his accomplishments, disappointment would bite when things did not go well, parenting and teaching divided equally and with Itachi's gentle but firm guiding paired with Hinata's quiet resolve Haru was growing up to be a caring and warm boy. A son anyone would be proud to call theirs.

"Our separation, as you put it, was amicable." She huffed as she looked away from him. It had been. Short, easy and it had left a gaping hole in her heart with the ease in which he had done it. "And he broke up with me."

The dark chuckle that escaped Itachi brought her eyes back to his, just in time to see his obsidian stare crinkle in mirth. Itachi was handsome, no one could deny that, and Hinata always wondered if they had kept him from finding a partner in life.

"Sasuke has always had a flair for the dramatic." Itachi said, shrugging slightly as though he found it childish but with the air of an older brother who had resigned to humor his younger counterpart. "I don't know why talking about you sends him into a hissy fit, but during our family dinner… Well, it didn't end exactly on a good note."

"Maybe his fiancee is sensitive to the topic of exes?" She wondered out-loud. Temari would glare daggers at anyone who ever tried to even insinuate that there had been another woman in Shikamaru's life. Hinata had always thought that it was because the Sabaku siblings were territorial, but it very well could be something other people took issue with. She wouldn't know, the only man in her life after Sasuke had been Itachi and he most certainly didn't date.

"As if he would tolerate someone who wants to dictate who he can talk to or about." Itachi rolled his eyes and Hinata giggled.

Once her laughter died down a moment of silence elapsed between them, Itachi seemed contemplative, staring into the distance over her head. Hinata was still holding the swing at an angle, away from him, and biting her lower lip she took a shuddering breath through her nose.

"Itachi…" She murmured. "D-did you never date because of us?" Before she could stop herself the question had already been posed, her cheeks colored instantly flushing scarlet at her own boldness. She risked a peek at his face from underneath her bangs and her eyes widened as his eyes darkened before he quietly took a step back.

Without answering her he extended her hand towards her, and as though in a trance Hinata took it. She gasped as he pulled her up from the swing, forcing her to stumble towards him. He was now holding her hand as she rested her free one on his chest where it landed as she tried not to fall into his chest face first. Something unknown swam in the dark depths of his eyes, something she could not identify. Suddenly she was conscious about the amount of heat that was coming from his body, it warmed her in ways that she had not felt in a long time. His half lidded eyes stared into her, hazy with thought that she didn't dare ask him to clarify. It stole her breath from her lungs, freezing them in anticipation. He leaned towards her face, her brain stuttering with the implications, but before anything happened she was left with nothing but the whisper of his fringe touching the side of her face as he stepped back.

His absence was felt instantly as the cold seeped past her coat and into her core. Hinata looked at him dazed but the glee she had expected to find in his eyes was nowhere to be found. The emotion swimming deep in them was muddy and his mouth was set in a firm line. Itachi sighed, a cloud rising between them and before she could react he had bumped her forehead with his index and middle finger. A gesture she had seen him use on Sasuke and Haru in the past. It made her stomach coil uncomfortably.

"No… Hina." His tone held none of the joking she associated with him and none of the ease they normally communicated with. "I chose to remain single, neither you nor Haru had anything to do with that."

Lies. She could feel them as they skittered down her skin.

"Shall we take a walk?" She offered, trying to break the tension that had settled between them, hoping desperately to return to the easy camaraderie they normally shared. "I'm starting to get cold." She smiled sheepishly. The smirk that rose from his lips didn't quite touch his eyes but she was relieved to see it there.

Silently Itachi offered Hinata his arm, and grateful for the familiar motion she slipped her hand over the crook that he offered. They walked in silence, the sounds of their breathing and of the crinkle under their feet as they stepped over falling leaves easily overshadowed the rustle of their clothes. Hinata hoped it also hid the thundering of her heart. A tiny drum inside her chest that begged to be heard. They kept a leisure pace around the park, comfortable in each other's presence despite the lack of conversation. There was something right beneath the surface that was bothering Itachi, she could feel it boiling through the cashmere coat he wore. He was mulling over something, it made panic rise like vile in her throat. There was a balance between them that had been kept carefully over the years, not too close, not too far, but just right. Somehow Hinata felt as if she had stepped over a line that had been drawn in the sand many years ago and unwittingly upset the balance. Desperately she looked around them as they continued to walk and gratefully spotted something that would buy her a few precious minutes alone.

"Would you like a coffee, Itachi-san?" She didn't miss the slight twitch of her brow as Itachi's gaze snapped to her and then looked towards where she was pointing. A quaint shop across the street. "There is a bench a bit ahead of us, wait for me there while I get the coffee?"

"Go ahead," he said. Untangling his arm from her grip and gently pushing her lower back towards the bench. "I'll get the coffee."

Before she could raise a word in protest, he was already heading towards the shop with long and sure strides. Hinata stared after him, examined the gait he used to approach the shop, the way he slid his pale hands back into his pockets. Biting her lip she walked the few paces towards the bench she had previously mentioned and sitting down on the cold wood she sighed. Rubbing her hands together, she tried to dispel the chill that had been growing deep in her bones.


The warm coffee shop did nothing to chase away the layer of ice that had formed around his throat and that prevented him from speaking. If Itachi were to be honest, he was glad that she pointed out the coffee shop, he had been looking for a way to put some distance between them, even if only temporarily. After placing his order he moved towards the window of the shop to wait, and pondered whatever had possessed him today. Restraint was something that came naturally to him, but something about the way Hinata peered at him from underneath her bangs had made him throw said restraint out the window. Ears warming at the memory of her hand upon his cheek, Itachi groaned, he rubbed his face with his stiff fingers and prayed that reason would return to him soon. A line had been drawn, tentatively sketched as they first began interacting. As the years progressed it thickened, solidifying the distance between them. There had been times where each of them had gotten dangerously close to the line, but neither had ever attempted to cross it, and here he was, acting like a highschool boy.

Hinata was neither wrong nor right about her question. The suspicions that gave life to it were not entirely unfounded, he seldom had time to himself as it was. How could he find time to date when his days were filled with work and Haru? Truth be told he didn't miss dating. He didn't miss the push and pull of relationships, and its importance plummeted once Haru entered his life; not that it had ever been high in his list of priorities. Itachi smiled gently at the barista as he picked up his drinks, her blushing cheeks going unnoticed. With drinks in hand he headed out, twilight was upon them and considering how rapidly the temperature dropped as the night approached, he wanted to make sure that Hinata went home before they both froze at the park. He spotted her on the bench that she had pointed out earlier, hands folded neatly on her lap as she pensively stared at the floor in front of her. Itachi wondered briefly if she ever thought of him, but willed himself to abandon that train of thought. Nothing would come of him pining over the mother of his nephew. Nothing would come of him crossing the line that they had both so clearly drawn on the sand.

Hinata's eyes rose to meet his own as he approached, his heart constricted painfully in his chest. No, Hinata and Haru had not been the reason he stopped dating. There was a fragility to the relationship he held with them at the start that he had decided bringing someone else into their life as an extension of him was not the best course of action. He had wanted to be someone they could rely on, someone unshakable that would never leave. Silently he handed Hinata the paper cup.

"Green Tea Latte." He murmured, his fingers brushing against her own as she gratefully accepted the cup, he ignored the blush that crept on her cheeks.

"Thank you." The tilt of her voice was slightly higher than normal, but this too was something that he could easily ignore.

"I don't know where things will go with Sasuke in town Hina, but you should be ready for whatever…" For once, he struggled with words around her, not sure how he should express his concern over his brother's fiery personality. Not sure how he would handle it if they welcomed Sasuke back into their lives with open arms. "Whatever hot headed thing will happen once the truth is left in the open for him to find."

The silence that followed was pensive, and Itachi refused to look at her. Refused to trace the lines of her face in case he found affection buried deep in them. Itachi knew none of this was Sasuke's fault. He knew that his brother must have had good reason to ignore the letters and leave them unopened at first, but he also knew that the one with the ultrasound had been resealed so he could only assume that his brother had skirted his responsibility and had chosen to bury her and Haru so deep in the recesses of his memories and delegated their existence to something that once had been. This knowledge made it hard for him to face Sasuke, his loveable, dear younger brother. It angered him, it robbed him of sleep. Nightmares that came when he least expected them, of the things that could have been had he not been there that night to stop Toneri. Of things that could have been had he never found them. It pained him that this wrath towards his brother consumed him, but the idea that he could be forgiven pained him even more.

"Sasuke's hot headed, but he's not unreasonable." Hinata broke the silence gently.

"I beg to differ." Itachi replied, a smirk playing along his lips before taking a sip of his coffee. "Sasuke is both hot headed and unreasonable. There is no winning with him sometimes." The pearly laugher that reached his ears made him pause and look at her. Taking in the way her eyes crinkled in joy.

"Sasuke won't be able to force Haru into doing anything he doesn't want to do." Hinata smiled as she took a drink from her cup. Something about the way she looked at him made Itachi's heart clench. "Haru's not the same kid you met all those years ago. I'm not the same woman you found, and I am certainly not the same teen that dated Sasuke. We're much sturdier than you give us credit for Itachi."

He closed his eyes, raising his face towards the now night colored sky. His hands rested leisurely upon his lap as he held the cup of coffee between them. He didn't want to look at her, didn't want her to see the fear that was reflected in the depths of his eyes. Itachi knew that Haru was not the same young child he had met all those years ago, he was no longer the distrusting eyes that stared from around the hallway, he was no longer plagued by the dark circles that looked almost comical in his young face. Haru was no longer the child who was scared. Hinata and Haru had recovered, they had flourished, they had risen above every challenge that life had thrown at them and they no longer…With so little need for him in their lives, how much longer could he realistically stay next to them?

Itachi would not consider himself an unreasonable person. He understood boundaries, knew how to remain within the limits of acceptability and fairness. Nevertheless, it would be nothing but a lie if he were to say that sitting here, next to her, with his eyes closed as he listened to her breathe and live, did not in some way make insecurity rise from within his soul. Before he could delve further into that train of thought he sighed.

"This is not going to be pretty." The sigh that came from him as he opened his eyes to look at her came from a soul that was weary.

"No, but truths emerging from years in silence seldom are." The smile Hinata gave him was both sad and resigned.

"Promise to call if anything happens?" He asked hopefully, not yet ready to depart from his role as the protector of this mismatched family.

"Promise to come if we call?" She asked him with a small smirk playing along her lips. Itachi bumped her shoulder with his own in response, the giggles that broke from her lips lifting his spirits.

Things were bound to change, but they would be ok.


Hello! I'm so sorry it took me so long to post. I've hit a wall when it comes to these slower chapters, I know how I want certain Chapters to go but these mellow ones are rough for me to write, kind of like the adrenaline wears off and I sputter in between? It's difficult to explain hahaha. I hope you enjoyed some slight fluff. I'm honestly the worst at writing fluff, it somehow still felt angsty?

I wanted to demonstrate that while we do stan the ItaHina that shows up in the story, there is a bit of... responsibility that is a huge part of their relationship. Itachi has always struck me as someone who kind of makes his whole personality about something he's really passionate about, and I can only imagine how empty one must feel when that "something" changes or evolves or no longer needs him. I'm sure I will have to explore this further in the coming chapters, but I wanted to at least illustrate that it was a thing here. They're flawed individuals and I don't want to just always write them as perfect and wonderful and never wrong.

I also have to admit that I have been struggling on keeping characters in character haha, though that problem has been ongoing since lovely reviewers pointed it out to me, so that is one of the reasons my updates have been slow. I've been spending a lot of time trying to make sure I was veering too far into the ooc world. Sorry about that!

Anyway I do not have any translation notes today, but enjoy my chapter note to myself below:

Itachi/Hinata moment fluff as they talk about what to do (present) while sitting together in a park. Switches between perspectives from the two. Honestly this is to get rid of all the random tension I've been sneaking into writing them, because srsly, calm down.

Much Love,

Emi