Chapter 5

Casey sat in his recliner watching a special broadcast from channel 666 news drinking a beer. It would seem that the princess of hell wanted to make an announcement in regard to the yearly extermination. Easing the overpopulation via some moral rehabilitation clinic in the guise of a hotel, He thought it a waste of time. When she started singing however is when he reached the breaking point and started surfing channels.

Eventually he found his favorite channel which always had some classic style cartoons. It wasn't mighty mouse or Popeye, but it had a similar style. The title card on the screen came up depicting the famous jester himself Fizzarolli and read; 'Mammon studious animation presents Fizzoroli in'. the next card featured another more humanoid jester but with an older style suit in black and red checkers, all manner of bladed weapons strapped to them, and a porcelain mask adorned with various jewels. Oh, and how could he forget the midnight wings that protruded from the jesters back, the mark of an angel of death. The episode was titled; 'Hellequin havoc'

"She only carries the two daggers." He thought out loud to himself remembering the last time he had a run in with that psychotic bitch. "Never working a job with her again. Don't care how much mammon is paying."

The next card nearly made him choke on his drink. "Guest staring the armorer! Damnit Mammon, guest cartoon appearances were not in the job contract."

The character up on the screen now supposed to represent him was decked out from head to toe in ballistic armor with an exterminator's mask over his face. In one hand his onscreen counterpart clenched a fist full of halos and in the other an m-60 with blessing symbols etched into the handguard. it was somewhat accurate but the only time he uses that get up is during the yearly purge.

"Figures." Casey took a cigarette that he had put behind his ear and lit it taking a long drag remembering something the old man had told him, "Only two ways to get noticed down here kid. Killing to secure more power or fucking someone that has power."

He chuckled before saying the rest, "and I ain't above using either method."

His thoughts were interrupted as the phone downstairs in his shop/warehouse rang. He got up and headed towards the stairs that led down to the main floor from the office space he had converted into an apartment. Opening the door to the shop area he was greeted with the sight of countless display cases and shelves packed to the gills with all sorts of dangerous goodies. Anything you could think of he probably had in stock. And if not, he had spent the last 30 years making weapons. 10 of them spent learning from a master gunsmith from wrath that sadly passed away in one of the exterminations about halfway back. Old man Went out how he lived, raising hell and ringing bells. He kept his imp teacher's tradition alive though.

After he passed though Casey started experimenting with the precious metals captured from all the unfortunate angels and exterminators that crossed his path. If Casey liked the weapon enough he would add it to his private collection but most of the time the angelic weapons were disassembled and smelted into ingots for later use. And all that was in the back of the warehouse in a section warded against hellborn and demons.

Behind the counter he took the phone from the receiver and put it to his ear, "were closed try again at 8 sharp tomorrow."

"Do you think you could make an exception for paring customers my good sir?"

He recognized the voice on the other end instantly "Moxxie! What can I do for my favorite gun nut? How's the missus?"

"she's doing fine. So, about your store?"

"Yeah, come on over. we can chat then."

"Oh, good cause were already here."

He went to the front door and peeked through the bars and sure enough Moxxie was on the doorstep with Millie who was holding a stuffed animal.

Casey put out the cigarette on the metal door before tucking it back behind his ear once more ignoring the sudden heat. He unlocked all the locks he had running from the top of the frame to the bottom and opened the door. As fast as the flash she dropped the stuffed animal speeding past right for the melee weapons isle. He was surprised to see the stuffed goat get back up on its own and waddle past the threshold to the heavy ordinance cabinet on the back wall. After that Moxxie closed the door behind him and held out a piece of paper.

"here's a list of the supplies we need."

Casey took the list and began reading it aloud, "two baretta 92fs 9-millimeter pistols, one Armalite 15 in 5.56, one reproduction model 1897 trench gun, and a 20-mill anti material rifle. Don't you have these already?"

"Well," Moxxie pointed at Mendes and covered the side of his face with the other hand, "the goat ate them."

"So, you thought it would be a good idea to bring a stuffed animal that eats weapons to my shop?" Casey made a sweeping gesture, "that sells weapons."

"We couldn't just leave the goat at the office unattended! It's a menace! Earlier it cleaned out the entire breakroom fridge and got into Loonas magazine drawer! Loona keeps that drawer locked up tight as mammon's vault."

They both turned at a clinking sound as the subject of conversation was busy pressing its face against the glass cabinet door.

"Then get rid of it?" Casey said going over and shooing the thing back towards Moxxie.

"Oh, we can't do that! The thing belongs to our new employee." Millie peeked at them from in between a shelf, "and that hellhound should be workin anyway, not reading skin mags n' gossip. At least not on the job."

"Wait a new employee? And you didn't want to bring them in to get outfitted?" Casey started going around collecting the items that the couple came for.

"Well blitz kinda hauled him off to his boyfriends for some official business. Said something about adoption papers and the like." Millie went back to browsing.

"Blitzo? Boyfriend? Adoption? Damn I guess a lot has happened for him in the last year. Good for him though." Casey got behind the register and started ringing up the prices.

"Excuse Millie she's just exaggerating. Our boss isn't dating stolas. It's as he puts; 'a transactional fucking' so we can have access to the human world. Unfortunately, he does intend to adopt the new employee though much to the dismay of everyone else. He can't even work a full shift yet on account of the labor laws in hell"

Casey finished ringing up the last product and displayed the registers readout to Moxxie, "really? Millie doesn't seem to mind."

"Just me and Loona then. As much as it pains me to agree with her. Although she's way more hostile about the matter."

"Heh, daddies' little girl afraid of some sibling rivalry? Who would have thought?"

Millie joined her husband at the register and placed a couple of hand axes on the counter. "Speaking of rivalry. Are ya gonna be coming down to wrath to see my Moxxie win the annual cowboy action shooting event?"

"You already know ill be there. Needs to be someone to give him a challenge." Casey gave the marksman a wink and handed him the now boxed up weapons.

Millie took the heavier boxes to carry and turned back to casey. "Well win or lose I better see you at the saloon after for the first round! We'll come lookin for ya!"

And with that they left the shop stuffed animal in tow. As soon as the door closed behind them he took the cigarette from behind his ear and relit it. After securing the front door he figured it was late enough and decided to turn in for the night. He was already feeling a bit tired but after the visit from the M&M's he really needed some shut eye.

Just as he reached the stairs the phone started ringing again. Grumbling he made his way over and yanked the receiver to his ear. Whever had called didn't even bother with a greeting and instead in a thick Irish accent the voice practically shouted his ear off.

"get your arse to the Aether now! Its urgent!"

The line went dead as the person hung up. Casey just set the phone off to the side and groaned. Looks like its gonna be another sleepless night. He grabbed an already prepared duffle bag he kept stashed under the counter and headed for his truck parked outside.

"I ought to start charging a kings ransom for bailing that fuck out of whatever he gets himself into."


Pulling up to a dinner located on the outskirts of the first circle he noticed a luxurious limo parked outside of the bright and cheery restaurant known as cloud nine. Engraved in the side of the vehicle was a crest indicating demonic royalty. Once parked and getting out of his truck he noticed an important detail about the symbol. It wasn't goetia in origin which made it easier to make out but seeing the golden apple with snakes coiling around it made him wish it was one of those pompous pricks. That limo meant one of two things. Either tonight was the last night of his afterlife, or he was about to be "offered" a job by the top dog himself.

"fuck"

He pushed the wave of fear to the back of his mind and steeled his nerves. He tossed the duffle bag back into the bed of the truck. He doubted he'd be able to do anything besides just piss him off with the equipment he had at the moment. Flanking the door were two bipedal goats standing about three feet tall. They both had the same symbol from the limo dyed into their foreheads in red. They didn't look too dissimilar from the stuffed animal that he saw earlier. Maybe these were the real deal.

The one on the right snorted at him and opened the door. Inside the diner the upbeat 60's aesthetic really stood out from most of the restaurants you'd find in hell. Blue and pink pastel decorations, a jukebox, and under normal circumstances the polite waitress that actually enjoyed her job. She seemed to be elsewhere for now, better that way. She shouldn't have to see this if it turns ugly.

Stepping forward into the room he spotted him sitting in a booth by the window reading from a menu. Blonde hair, green eyes and a suspiciously wide smile. The king himself; Lucifer.

The king of hell looked up from the menu and his smile seemed to get wider, "Ah, nephew! I wasn't sure you would show up! Come sit down, lets talk!"


A/N: as of now chapter 5 is still being worked on. it might end up being two parts though. afterwards well pick up where we left of with David.