Author Note: Sorry for the delay, I decided at the last minute to add something extra to this chapter. I think it was worth it, but I'll let you all be the judge.
The next day, Nejire was feeling cruddy enough that she agreed to talk with Toga's friend. Toga arranged for the two of them to meet at a coffee shop, and promised her that Jin was a great support as well as familiar with addiction. Nejire felt better about being somewhere public in case things got weird. She had only been around the guy a couple of times, but in her mind he didn't appear very stable.
Jin was waiting when Nejire got there. She placed her order at the counter and went to join him at his table. "Thanks for coming. It's great to finally talk to you! Toga's told me so much about you, I feel like I already know you, but we've never actually hung out."
"Yeah." Normally she would force a smile, but she was currently too miserable for pleasantries. "Toga seems to think you can help me."
"Well, I can't fix your problems for you, but I can point you in the right direction."
The barista called Nejire's order, and Jin hopped up to grab it for her. "Thanks," she said as he placed it before her, but she didn't take a drink. "So you've been through all this before?"
Jin folded his hands thoughtfully. "Well, that depends. I've been through some crap, maybe just different crap than you. If you don't mind me asking, what were you into?"
Nejire glanced around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "Vicodin, oxy, and xanax."
"Ooh, nice," Jin squealed excitedly. Then he shook himself. "I mean, that's awful," he corrected. "Very bad."
Nejire giggled. This was precisely why she had doubted Jin before, but now she found it oddly reassuring. "What about you?" she asked.
"Liquor and gambling," he said.
She frowned. "You can get addicted to gambling?"
"You can get addicted to lots of things. How many people do you think take pain pills and never get hooked like you did?"
"But most people get better eventually. I never will."
"Either way, the important part is that you're ready to change."
Nejire fiddled with her cup. "Toga kind of forced me to. She threw all my pills away."
"Does it matter? I had to stop when I ran out of money. My family refused to help me unless I got my shit together."
"But aren't you supposed to make the decision yourself? For it to stick?"
"If you want to hit absolute rock bottom first, then sure." Jin leaned closer. "Tell me, if you really wanted more of those pills, could you get them?"
She had to look away. "Probably."
"But you haven't. Why not?" Nejire stared at her coffee, not sure how to answer. Jin pressed further. "Is it because you were tired of living like that?"
"No," she said. "I was doing fine. I was happy."
"What about the side effects? Did it affect your relationships?"
"I didn't care."
"Whatever you lost was worth it?"
She nodded, relieved that he understood. "I just needed things to be a little more bearable." Nejire struggled to put her thoughts into words. "Since my accident, everything has seemed less important, like…"
"Like it doesn't count?"
Nejire's eyes grew wide. "Yeah. I wonder sometimes if I wasn't meant to survive all that."
"So you've already cheated death, why not go all in, right?"
"How are you explaining me better than I can?"
Jin smiled softly. "Guess we have more in common than you realized, huh?"
The next morning, Toga found Nejire sitting on the floor by the fridge, and sat down beside her. "You know, when normal people eat their feelings, they go for something that tastes good." She took the celery from Nejire's hand and tossed it aside with disgust. "How about some ice cream, or pizza?"
"Whatever. Just let me be miserable."
"Oh, I almost forgot," Toga said, pulling out her phone. "I found you a replacement guy."
Nejire groaned. "I don't want a guy right now. Maybe not ever."
"Not like that, silly!" Toga rolled her eyes. "A tattoo guy." She showed Nejire the instagram page of a tattoo shop.
Nejire took Toga's phone and scrolled through the pictures. The artwork was impressive, and there was a nice variety. "I wonder if they can cover this stupid thing on my back."
"They said it should be a piece of cake."
Nejire's jaw dropped. "You already talked to them?"
"Of course, babe. They're booked months out, so I went ahead and made you an appointment, too." Toga put her head on Nejire's shoulder. "You're welcome."
Nejire hugged her tightly. "You're the best."
"I know."
A few days later, Nejire stopped by the place to check it out. As soon as she set foot in the door, she noticed how different it felt from Stain. The interior was bright and modern, more like a day spa than a tattoo parlor. Instead of heavy metal, jazz music played over the speakers.
At the front desk was a serious-looking young man with dark, slicked-back hair. He stood up hurriedly when he noticed Nejire. "Welcome to Wing Hero, ma'am. How can I assist you today?
She held back a smile; he was so formal. "Um, hi. My appointment isn't for like a month, but I just wanted to stop by and look around, if that's okay."
"Of course." He nodded stiffly. "Have you had a consultation?"
"No, not yet."
"If you'll give me your name, I can look up who you're scheduled with and see if they're available to meet with you."
"Sure, it's Nejire Hado."
He tapped around the screen, then nodded. "Excuse me for one moment."
"Thanks!" Nejire giggled to herself as the young man scurried away. He clearly took his job very seriously. She looked around at the art on the walls. It wasn't just tattoo design sets, but also paintings and other interesting pieces.
"Hi, you must be Nejire."
She spun around to find a stunningly handsome man smiling at her. His blond hair was perfectly tousled. He had bright, golden eyes, and light stubble on his jawline. Frozen, Nejire just stared. She wasn't the only one who was flustered.
It took him a moment to collect himself before he held out his hand. "I'm Hawks; this is my shop." Nejire took his hand; it was warm and strong, and he gently squeezed her hand while looking deep into her eyes.
"I'm Nejire, but you already knew that." Her cheeks flushed pink. His eyes were captivating. "Are you wearing eyeliner?" Then she realized she was still holding his hand, and pulled away, tugging her hair over her cheek. "Sorry, that was rude of me! It looks cool."
"Hey, don't worry about it!" He gave her a reassuring smile. "Actually it's permanent makeup, something we offer here." He also seemed nervous, and swallowed hard before he continued. "Listen, I'm glad you stopped in. Why don't you come on back? This way." Nejire followed him as he kept talking. "Your friend sent me some photos of what you want covered, but I prefer to meet in person and come up with a plan before the day of your appointment."
"That sounds good." She had worn a cami under her top, just in case. Hawks turned to face her, and Nejire flailed her hands for a moment. "Oh, you mean right now?"
"If you're comfortable with that."
"Sure." Nejire turned and pulled up the back of her shirt. Hawks stepped closer. When she felt his hand on her back, she bit her lip.
"Well this shouldn't be difficult at all. The linework isn't heavy, so it shouldn't bleed through. You will need solid color fill in most places, though. Do you mind if I get some quick measurements?"
"That's fine." Nejire held still while he jotted down some notes. Each time his fingers brushed over her skin, she had to bite her lip at the sensation.
"Okay, all done." She pulled her shirt down and turned to face him. Hawks eyed her curiously. "Could I ask why you want to cover this? It's not bad work."
"No, I know… it's kind of a bad memory."
He nodded. "Say no more. When I'm finished, you won't know it was ever there."
Nejire smiled. "That would be nice."
They stared at each other for a moment. Hawks looked away first, combing his fingers through his hair. "So, have you thought about what you want instead?"
She pulled out her phone, where she had saved an entire folder of tattoo photos. "I really like stuff with flowers and birds." She brought up a few photos that she had found on Wing Hero's instagram. "I love this one, but I wouldn't want it quite this big." It was a full back tattoo of red wings.
Hawks laughed. "Are you serious?"
Nejire's smile faded. "Why?"
"No, it's okay," he assured her. "That's mine."
She was confused. "Yeah, I know; it was on your page."
Hawks was still grinning. "No, I mean… it's mine." He pulled aside the neck of his shirt to reveal the red feathers tattooed on his shoulder.
Nejire gasped. "It's beautiful."
"I'm glad you think so. I like birds, too."
Nejire pulled her knee up to show him the bird tattoo on her leg.
Hawks tipped his head to get a closer look. "Very nice."
"Everything I've gotten so far has been music or dance themed. I wanted to get away from that a little, but maybe not entirely."
He nodded thoughtfully. "I see. Give me a few days to come up with some options."
"Thank you."
He hesitated. "May I ask you something?"
Nejire's heart skipped. "Okay."
His eyes crinkled up as he held back a smile. "What's your favorite food?"
"Um, why?"
"Because… I'd like to take you out sometime."
She narrowed her eyes. "Is that allowed?"
Hawks looked puzzled. "Well, I am the owner."
"Right, but I mean, don't you try to keep your personal life separate from your work?"
"Not exactly." He shrugged. "My work is my life."
Nejire nodded. "I used to be that way."
"Listen, if you're not interested, that's completely fine; I won't bring it up again. Actually that's a lie. I'll probably keep begging." Nejire laughed, and Hawks rubbed his hand over his jaw, flustered. "I'm sorry if I'm going too fast here, Nejire, you're just so…"
Her smile dropped slightly, as she braced myself for some generic, superficial compliment.
"...fascinating."
"What?" Nejire blinked in surprise.
"I mean you're lovely, obviously, and beautiful, but I find you… intriguing. I wanna get to know you."
"Yes," she answered. "I'd like that."
The upcoming weekend was already booked. To get Toga off her back, Nejire had agreed to go to a support group meeting with Jin. There was one within walking distance of their apartment. Since the meeting would let out after dusk, Jin insisted on walking her there and back. He tried to be a gentleman, despite everything.
They left early enough to have a leisurely stroll in the cool evening air. Nejire glanced at Jin as they walked. "I appreciate you doing this, but I still don't see how it's going to help; I don't have a problem with drinking."
"That's AA, not NA, you twit." Jin scowled, and gathered himself before explaining. "Sorry, I mean that AA was Alcoholics Anonymous; they don't really use that so much anymore. NA is Narcotics Anonymous; it applies to every kind of addiction."
"Oh. I guess that makes sense." She was getting used to his mannerisms.
They crossed the street at a corner. Jin switched sides with Nejire, insisting on keeping himself between her and traffic. "The meetings are fairly predictable. They'll go through the opening, which you can read from the paper until you learn it. Then they'll welcome anyone new, like yourself."
Nejire stopped in her tracks. "Wait, I have to talk?" She contemplated running back home.
Jin laughed hysterically for a moment, then straightened up and cleared his throat. "No need to fret, kid. You just say your name and why you're there."
Nejire scowled. "I'm supposed to tell complete strangers my worst secrets?"
"Don't think of it like that. Everyone in that room has been through something just as bad or worse. No one is going to judge you. Besides, it's a closed meeting, so there's no friends or family, just addicts."
"If it's closed, how can I go?"
"Because I vouched for you."
"Jin, you didn't have to do that." She sighed. "I don't know if I'm ready for this."
"No kidding!" He rubbed a hand over his mouth. "What I mean is, it ain't easy, but I swear it helps."
The meeting was in the basement of a church, and Nejire followed Jin to sit in a couple of worn metal chairs at the end of a row. She felt heavy with dread as the seats gradually filled. She was convinced that everyone was staring at her, wondering about the new girl and what her deal was.
A middle-aged woman went up to the podium, and the room grew quiet. "Hi, my name is Mitsuki, and I'm an addict."
"Hi Mitsuki," the crowd answered in unison. Nejire was surprised at how normal the woman looked.
She began the meeting by leading the group in a moment of silence. Then everyone stood. Jin pointed to the pamphlet, and Nejire read along as everyone recited the serenity prayer together.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Next, Mitsuki called for new members, and Jin's hand shot up. He got up, pulling Nejire to her feet as she gripped tightly to his arm. He walked her up to the front.
Mitsuki gave her a tight smile. "Welcome!"
Nejire was trembling as she let go of Jin. "I don't know what to say," she told Mitsuki.
"Start with your name."
Nejire glanced out over the crowd, but immediately regretted it, and chose to look down at her feet instead. "Uh, my name is Nejire."
"Hi Nejire," everyone echoed back.
She looked to Jin for courage. "Tell them how long," he prompted.
"I've been clean for… almost three weeks."
Everyone applauded, and Nejire looked at her shoes again.
Mitsuki nodded reassuringly. "Tell us a little about your journey."
Nejire took a deep breath. "I was in a car accident about two years ago. They gave me some prescriptions to help with the pain, and for my PTSD. After that I just kept taking them." She glanced up, and noticed a few people in the crowd nodding. "I knew it wasn't good for me, but I didn't care." Tears filled her eyes, and she sniffed. "I don't really know where to go from here." Nejire turned away from the crowd as tears spilled down her cheeks.
Jin wrapped her in a protective hug. "Good job, kiddo."
When he let go, Mitsuki took her hand. "You're in the right place." She put something in Nejire's hand; a plastic coin. Nejire turned it over in her fingers as Jin led her back to their seats.
After they sat, a young man named Juzo went up front. Nejire didn't listen very closely, since she was studying the little round token. It was stamped with "24 Hours" inside a triangle, with the words "To Thine Own Self Be True" around the edge.
Mitsuki read over some notes about previous meetings, then everyone recited another quote from the paper. Next, Mitsuki announced they would hand out milestone coins. There were a lot. Mitsuki called out a name and how long they had been clean. Everyone would clap as the person got a token, like Nejire's, but in different colors. Nejire was surprised at how normal everyone seemed. To her, they mostly looked like your average grandfather, soccer mom, or college student.
Nejire leaned over to Jin, pointing at her coin. "Do you have one?"
He pulled one from his pocket. Nejire looked closely; it was for three years. She gaped at him; she'd had no idea he had been at this for so long.
A girl not much older than her got a ten month chip, and Nejire clapped a little harder for her.
Mitsuki read the next name, and Nejire's breath caught in her throat. Touya Todoroki. A guy with white hair walked up to the podium. Nejire clutched at Jin's arm, her heart racing. It was Dabi. He had changed his hair, but it was still unmistakably him.
Jin patted her hand. "You okay, Hado?"
"Can we leave?" Nejire's voice shook.
He squinted at her, confused. "Not yet. It's almost over."
Before long Mitsuki was done passing out chips, and everyone stood to do another reading. As soon as the meeting closed, Nejire rushed for the door, dragging a confused Jin after her.
That night, Nejire once again had trouble falling asleep, but this time Toga was not there to keep her company. She sat on her bedroom floor and played with Gulliver. After an hour he grew tired and curled up on the bed to sleep without her.
"Seriously? You're supposed to be my emotional support animal."
With a sigh, she pulled out her phone and opened instagram. She almost dropped her phone when she saw a message from an old friend.
Mirio: Hey Nej! It was such a nice surprise to find you on here!
Mirio: Hope you're doing well, it's been a while!
The message had been sent hours ago, but she didn't hesitate to reply.
Nejire: hi Mirio
Nejire: good to hear from you!
Nejire: I'm fine, how are you?
She felt bad for lying to someone she once considered her best friend. Nejire put her phone down, telling herself not to expect a quick answer, but less than five minutes later her phone chimed.
Mirio: I'm great! Just got back from Cambodia. It was beautiful
He sent another message before she could even finish her first response.
Mirio: You left NYC right? Where are you at now?
Nejire: was that for doctors without borders?
Nejire: I'm in Vegas now
Mirio: I'm not technically a doctor yet, still in my residency
Mirio: I can't imagine you in Vegas! LOL
Mirio: What have you been up to?
She hesitated, trying to decide how much she wanted to open up. If he was the same as she remembered, he would want to know the whole truth. Yet, that didn't seem fair to dump on him after years of not speaking.
Nejire: I've been doing some choreography work
Nejire: it hasn't been easy but I'm trying
There was so much more she could say, but it was a start.
Mirio: THAT'S AMAZING!1!
Mirio: I'M SOOO PROUD OF YOU
Mirio: YOU ARE INCREDIBLE
He followed with rows upon rows of joyful emojis. Nejire laughed as she reread the messages, clearly imagining him shouting those words at her with his winning smile.
Nejire: thanks Mirio
Nejire: means a lot coming from you
Mirio: You're welcome!
Mirio: I am proud to be your friend, I hope you know that!
Mirio: You are so strong!
Nejire: I'm proud to be your friend too
Mirio: I should get to sleep but let's catch up soon!
Mirio: It's so wonderful to talk to you again, take care!
Nejire: I forgot you're in a different time zone
Nejire: yes, let's talk again soon
Nejire: goodnight
Even as she fell asleep, Nejire couldn't wipe the smile off her face, her mood lifted by the kindest person she'd ever known.
Author Note: How about that for some surprises? As a fanfic writer, I love feedback. Please let me know what you think so far, and if you have any predictions or hopes for the last few chapters!
