Chapter 42 - Investigating Again

Clark sat up in the loft, watching the stars. It was getting cold up there; he didn't mind cold, but it probably meant he should head inside pretty soon. It was hard to be around his parents these days, since they seemed so sad all the time, which only made Clark's sadness even worse than it already was, but he knew they needed him. Now more than ever.

He turned toward the stairs, and he spotted someone coming into the barn. "Hey, Chloe..." He breathed in to tell her this wasn't the best time, but he really didn't have a reason.

"Hey," she said, coming up the stairs. "I was out of town over Thanksgiving break, and I didn't get to talk to you at school. I just came to check in, ask how your dad was doing."

"Oh." Clark stepped back, allowing her room on the top step. "He's OK. We managed to buy him some time, but not a lot. He has a couple of years, maybe."

"Oh! Clark, I'm so sorry." Her eyes looked deep into his, warm and genuine. "He's a good man."

"Yeah, he is." Clark looked away. He didn't want to break down in front of her. For the most part, he had managed to be strong for his family. He knew he was allowed to cry, but he was afraid that if he did, he would tell them what he had paid for his father's life. He didn't want them to know that, ever.

"Your mom must be devastated," she said.

"It's been tough on the whole family."

"I bet. How is Lex doing?"

Clark hung his head.

Chloe took a step closer, putting a hand on his arm. "Oh no. Is he OK?"

"It's nothing," he said, more out of reflection than anything. He was used to keeping his problems to himself. Most of the time, they had to do with his powers, his origins, secrets that were dangerous for anybody else to know, both for them and for him.

She gave him a sad look. In her eyes, he could see more than just sympathy; she was frustrated by the way he always drew back from her. He couldn't blame her for that.

But right now… It had been along time since Clark felt like he could really talk to anybody about what was going on. Even when he first found out that Lex had been overtaken by his dark side, he hadn't told his parents, and by the time he could have shared his fear and frustration, he was in trouble with them. Now, they were suffering as deeply as he was, probably deeper. He had to comfort his parents, not be comforted by them. It wasn't that they couldn't comfort him at all, but it was different. If he talked about what he was feeling, he was as likely as not to make his mom cry, to make his dad retreat in anger and guilt. More than anything, he wished he could talk to his brother.

But what had happened with Lex… really, it wasn't a secret.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You're right. It's not nothing."

"Clark, I would never force you to talk about anything you're not ready to talk about, but if you ever do need to talk… I'm here as your friend. Not as a reporter."

He came over to sit on the couch, and she sat beside him. He rested his elbows on his knees, and she did the same. "Growing up with Lionel, it wasn't easy on Lex. Lionel really hurt him, and he made him believe that he was going to grow up to be like in."

"I can only imagine."

"It doesn't help that everyone in this town looks at him, and all they see is his last name."

"I never saw that."

"Neither did I. But my dad did, and most people in town do."

She nodded slowly. "I know my dad did, before he got to know him."

"The whole time he's been living with us, he's been struggling with… He calls it his darkness."

"Like, his dark side?"

"Kind of. I think everyone has a dark side, but not like this."

"What do you mean?"

"He could sort of hear it. There were times it took over, and he made choices he didn't want to make."

Her eyes grew wide with horror. "That's... not normal."

"We think it's the side of him that had given up on ever being loved."

"I know what a dark side is, Clark, but that's…"

"I know. But growing up with Lionel —"

"Did you ever try to get treatment for him? Therapy, or medication, or… anything?"

Clark shifted his weight. "We tried to strengthen the good side."

"But you didn't look for medical attention?"

"We really don't think it's a medical problem."

Chloe didn't look convinced, but she let her breath out and moved on. "So what happened?"

"He lost the fight against his darkness."

It was quiet for a moment. Clark hadn't spoken those words out loud since it had happened the first time; it was a hard thing to admit. That the fight was truly over. They had a really lost. He really wasn't getting his brother back.

His eyes started to sting. He blinked a few times, taking a deep breath.

"Clark," Chloe said softly, "it's not your fault."

"It's everyone's fault. We could've done more to help him. I've messed up, so has my dad. So have most of the people in this town."

"If anything, it's Lionel's fault."

"And I'm sure Lionel's parents failed him, too."

She lowered her head.

He looked over at her. "I don't think it matters who's fault it is. My family… we're broken, you know? My dad has a year or two to live, and even if there was someway to save Lex, I think it would take longer than that. In the meantime, he's off doing… God knows what. "

Her eyebrows drew together. "How bad is the dark side?"

Clark's mind flashed back to the way the drill head felt against his beating heart. "You don't want to know."

"Clark." She looked him right in the eyes. "How bad?"

He swallowed hard. "I don't think I'm in danger. But a lot of other people might be."

"How so?"

"He'll stop at nothing for power. The Lex I know, he used to do biomedical experiments to save lives. This Lex would do the same experiments for money, and he wouldn't care who he hurt along the way. He wouldn't care about morals, about ethics. He would experiment on people if he thought it would get him closer to the answers."

"Are his employees in danger?"

Clark had almost forgotten that her dad worked for LuthorCorp. "I wouldn't put it past Lex. If they gotten his way, or if he needed something… Honestly, I don't know what he's capable of. I just... I know what he's done to me."

She put a hand on his shoulder. "Clark, you should tell somebody."

"I'm not sending the police after my own brother."

"But if he could hurt somebody—"

"You said it wasn't my fault."

"Yeah, but… don't you think it's kind of your responsibility?"

Something about the way she was looking at him struck him odd. "What am I supposed to do about it?"

"I don't know. Look into things? Find out what's going on? Try to stop him?"

"Investigative journaling has always been more your thing," he said.

"And how many meteor mutants have we managed to stop together?"

He frowned. He suspected the number was pretty high, but Chloe shouldn't have known that he was the one to stop most of them. "How did you…"

She shook her head. "You've saved my life a few times. And Lana. And Lex… Word gets around, you know."

He wasn't sure she was telling the full truth, but he decided to let it go for the time being. "So what do you think we should do? Go investigate those labs like we investigate meteor maintenance?"

"I think we're in more danger now than we were with any of them. Or if not us, at least LuthorCorp's employees. Maybe others."

Clark winced. This was the last thing he wanted to be doing. And even if he was going to do it, he didn't want to be bringing Chloe along. It would just put her in danger.

But then again… he didn't think Lex would try to target her. The darkness had no quarrel with her, as far as Clark knew. And he might not be able to do this alone. Lex would know to have kryptonite around, to guard against Clark if for no other reason.

Clark hated this. But Chloe had a point. What happened with Lex might not be Clark's fault, but it was his responsibility. He was the only one who knew what was going on with his brother, other than his parents, and he was definitely the only one with the power to stop it.

"OK," he said. He took a shuddering breath. "You're right. We should look into things. It's the right thing to do."

She gave him a slight smile.