Deyna awoke. Immediately, he regretted doing so. Pressing a paw to his eyes, he rubbed them hard before sitting up to observe his surroundings. Immediately, he regretted doing so. His suit, and the sword of Martin, the holiest artifact of Redwall Abbey, were thrown haphazardly onto a chair in the corner. His body was covered with scratches and bite wounds, and the pain in his head was immense. Assuming he was in his bed back at Redwall, he made to get up, and immediately regretted doing so. Much to his surprise, the bed was also occupied by a pair of feral cats.
Upon noticing this, Deyna screamed like a gutted goat, kicked his way out of the bed, grabbed his pants and ran straight into a wall. Twice. The large otter proceeded to pull his clothes on in record time, fall over, and run directly into the barrel of One-Eye's shotgun. The gun went off, blowing a hole into the ceiling. The loud noise only heightened Deyna's panic, who blindly struck out, getting his fist stuck in the wall. One-Eye took action immediately, turning his grip on the trench gun into a sort of mordhau* and slamming the buttstock into Deyna's head, knocking him out cold.
When Deyna awoke, he found himself in an illuminated sitting room, his fistpaw still stuck in the wall. Suddenly, the cold muzzle of a gun pressed against his skull. "Take it easy, woodlander." said One-Eye, "Trigger claw's pretty itchy, so I wouldn't make any sudden movements."
"Where am I?"
"You're at my apartment. I share it with Red and Crabfang, and Six most of the time. You woke up in Crabfang and Red's room and went apeshit, so odds are, you came here before I did, and you, Red and Crabfang had a drunken three-way."
"For the love of dark forest." Deyna cradled his head in his free paw. "Let me collect my belongings, and I'll be on my way."
"Alright," said One-Eye as Deyna got up. "For what it's worth, you aren't the first unsuspecting beast to fall into those two's trap."
"Yeah, thanks." said Deyna, retrieving his jacket and the sword of Martin.
"Got everything? Good, now fuck off. I don't want to see you again unless it's at the Pit." said One-Eye, gesturing towards the door with the shotgun muzzle.
Deyna took the hint and quickly vacated the room. Once the door clicked shut, Crabfang emerged from his bedroom. "He gone?"
"Crabfang, you know how I've got a duel later today?" said One-Eye, turning to face his advisor.
"Yeah, what of it?"
"Well-" said One-Eye, reaching for his crutch, and pushing himself up to a standing position. "-consider this the warm up round."
As Deyna limped away, he heard a scream come from that accursed room. He momentarily stopped. Now, that's none of my business. He then continued down the hall, failing to notice the two apparitions, a mouse and a ferret. Some money changed hands, and then they dissapated.
A/N
watch?v=8ybW48rKBME
