Most of the characters belong to E. L. James


Ana left SIP smiling. She had gotten the job and it was a beautiful fall day too, the air in the environment reminded her of the beach, she was missing Florida, she was missing the calmness they had there and the weekends they spent resting by the sand. John and she usually went on picnics because they lived near the beach. In Seattle everything seemed more complicated. The conversation with Elliot was making her unsettled and she could not enjoy the moment of little celebration for her achievement. She thought about writing to Christian, but she didn't know very well what to say to him. She didn't want to cause him more pain.

She stopped by a store to buy a gift for John, they were celebrating their third monthiversary, she bought some boxes of coffee capsules for their coffee machine and a thermos with a brown leather cover that matched with his briefcase so he could take coffee to the office. He was an absolute coffee lover, Ana thought it would be a nice gesture considering they met at a café. Unconsciously, Ana smiled at the thought of their first encounter.

Done with her task she kept walking towards her apartment carrying the bags. When she arrived home, she started to prepare her clothes for the next week. She would start on Monday and wanted to be ready, perhaps she should buy a few pieces of clothing. In the meantime, Ana turned on the tv. The news let her know that Christian was out of the hospital, and in fact, he was there, in his apartment. She was still thinking in a way of talking to him. No matter what Elliott said to her, she couldn't leave John just like that, every time she thought about leaving him, she felt profound anguish. She had made promises to Christian, but he would have to understand. She couldn't leave John right now, even if that meant breaking everything with Christian.

Having prepared a few outfits for the week to come, Ana walked towards the kitchen and lit on the kettle, while it boiled, she started thinking about what to prepare for dinner. It was a special occasion after all even if she thought celebrating was inappropriate for her, she felt like a hypocrite, but she wanted John to feel better. Her phone rang while she was taking out meat from the freezer. She left it on the counter and rushed to answer it. The caller ID said John's Office.

"Hello, John."

"Hello, Mrs. Colt. This is Margaret speaking, your husband's secretary."

"Hi Margaret. ¿Is everything ok?" It was odd, why would his secretary call her.

"Mrs. Colt, your husband is being taken to the hospital right now. He has you as his emergency contact."

"Oh my God! What happened?" Ana asked, worried.

"We don't know very well, Mrs. Colt. He said he had a headache and he suddenly fainted."

"What hospital are they taking him to?" Ana found a pen and wrote down the address. She grabbed her coat and ran outside to get a taxi.

Ana made it to the hospital thirty minutes later, it was a different one than Christian's. This one was outside the city center. She went to the information desk, and they showed her where to go. When she made it to his floor she was shaking, a nurse showed her the door and opened it for her. There he was. John had an oxygen mask on, and a pulse oximeter placed on his index finger, but he looked fine. He was awake.

"John..." she said, gasping, relieved to be there with him. Since the call, it felt like an eternity for her to get there. She had mixed feelings between this situation and Christian's accident. She couldn't separate the level of worriedness she felt for both men.

"Baby," he said. "You made it." He was happy to see her. "How was everything at SIP?" He asked her, smiling under the mask. The way he spoke and smiled made her remember when she met him. She had been thinking about that day a lot today, and when she did, she felt a warm feeling in her heart that she couldn't explain.

"It was fine, but that's not important now. What happened to you?" She sat on a chair next to his bed and grabbed his hand.

"I was in a meeting and suddenly I had a very intense headache. I couldn't even see, everything was blurry. I got up to go to my office and take some medicine for it, but I felt dizzy and then I fainted, I don't remember very clearly. Luckily a colleague caught me, so I didn't fall to the floor."

"Did they run any tests? You look in one piece, but you are not the kind of person that gets headaches or faints."

"Well, recently I have been having light headaches, but nothing I'll find weird. As soon as I arrived here, they did a blood test and a scan." John took off his mask and looked at Ana tenderly. "You look worried."

"You scared me." She said sincerely. "Why haven't you told me about the headaches?"

"They were very light, and they would go as fast as they came. I'm sorry I scared you." He said, kissing her hand.

"It's not your fault."

At that moment they knocked. Ana got up and opened the door. Three doctors entered the room. Three doctors were too many if everything was fine, they thought.

"Mr. and Mrs. Colt. This is Doctor Smith; he is a neurologist and the doctor next to him is his resident. I'm doctor Hamilton, I'm the Chief of Surgery of the hospital."

"Mr. Colt," this time was Doctor Smith speaking, "we did a scan of your head and I'm afraid we don't have good news."

Ana grabbed John's hand again. What was going on?

"We have discovered a glioblastoma. A very advanced and aggressive tumor in your head."

The couple listened quietly. Ana caressed John's hand.

The resident spoke now. "We are sorry to inform you that it's stage IV, which is the last stage. Metastasis has already started in your brain."

The doctors didn't continue this time. They stood there quietly, giving them time to process the news.

When John spoke, his voice was raspy and shaken. "Is there any treatment? Surgery, perhaps?"

"Mr. Colt., the human brain is very complex. Your tumor is very advanced, if we operate, the consequences could be fatal. At the stage you are, it is not a risk we can take. It isn't in our capacity to operate you."

Ana could finally talk. "But that means that at some point the tumor will grow too much." The doctors looked at each other. The Chief Surgeon nodded.

John swallowed, he felt his mouth dry, he asked the obvious question, "how long do I have?"

Ana looked at John and a tear fell from her eye.

"We haven't studied the tumor's growth yet, so we couldn't say for sure, but considering the actual size, the location and the stage. You have between 3 to 6 months," replied the neurologist with sorrow.

"By the end we can consider palliative care, headaches will be more frequent and stronger. You will start losing your motor skills. Things that were easy for you to do will get harder," added the resident.

They looked at them with sorrow. They were a young couple and giving this kind of news was never easy even with the elders. "We are very sorry. We are going to give you some privacy now. We want to keep you under observation tonight. A therapist will visit you tomorrow morning before you leave who can help you deal with this news."

The doctors left the room.

When they were left alone, Ana sat next to John on the bed, she hugged him tightly. "John…, this is so… unfair." Her voice weak, she couldn't hold the tears anymore, she cried silently on his shoulder.

He smelled and kissed her hair. "It's ok," he said in a whisper. "Everything will be fine."

"How can you be so calm?" She said letting go of him.

He looked her in the eyes. "What do you want me to do?" He said, shrugging. "I could cry, yell, get mad..., but I prefer resignation. The little time I have I get to live it to the fullest with you. I'm only sorry we didn't get enough time together. I had so many plans for us."

"We can get a second opinion," said Ana resting her head on his shoulder.

He sigh. "Sure," replied John.

Her phone rang, she didn't answer. She wanted to hold on to him. A few minutes past and it rang again.

"Just answer it." Said John.

Ana took her phone from her pocket, it was Kate.

"Kate," she said.

"Ana, are you ok?"

"Yeah, but I'm in the middle of something right now. Can we talk later?"

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry to bother you."

"It's fine. I'll call you," added Ana before hanging up.

While she rushed to the hospital Ana has completely forgotten about the Greys and all the drama around them. She could only think about John and how he was. It was like the couple of months they lived as a married couple in Florida. On the other hand, when she was around Christian it was like a fog clouded her mind, but now, this situation took her back to reality, out of the mist and she only needed to be with John in that reality, and everything she felt for him was clear now. She realized why it was so hard to talk to Christian and to end things with her husband. She loved John too, it took her a while to realize it, but she was sure now, and she didn't want to lose him, but she was going to, no matter what.


Ana ordered an English Breakfast tea and a grilled cheese sandwich, she was proud of herself, she was able to move to a small apartment near the beach and live alone. She was tired of having roommates. And now, she has gotten a job in an important magazine in town. She was handing her card to pay when a deep voice behind her asked. "Can I get that for you?"

Ana turned, a tall man, blonde with blue eyes was smiling at her. His tanned skin made her know he was from the area. He was wearing a blue suit without a tie. "You don't need to do that." She replied.

"Please?" He added persuasively, still smiling at her.

"Ok…" she replied, shrugging.

The man ordered and paid for both bills, Ana received her food and sat down outside, looking at the beach. Soon he was there too.

"Do you mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead," replied Ana. "Thank you, by the way."

"My absolute pleasure" he replied, smiling again. Ana found herself thinking he had a beautiful smile. "I don't think I have seen you in this café before?"

"First time here," replied Ana. "Do you come often?"

"Every day," he answered, "my office is two blocks away and I live in the area, so I even come when I'm off work."

"Big coffee lover, then."

"Yeah, and I'm also kind of lazy. I rather they make it for me." They laughed. "I'm John," he said, offering her his hand.

"Ana," she replied, shaking it.

"What brings you here?" He asked.

Ana gave it a thought before answering, she wondered if she should let him know she was living in the area too, he was a stranger after all. She decided to be honest. "I moved to the neighborhood a few days ago."

"Oh..." John raised up his cup of coffee and said "to neighbors" he looked her directly in the eyes.

"To neighbors" cheered Ana blushing a little bit. "You seem too content by that," she added.

"Well, it means we could run into each other again," John looked at his watch. "I have to go back to work" he said standing up and looking into his pocket, he found his wallet and took a card out of it. "Here," he said, handing it to her. "Perhaps I could show you around," he said. "Give me a call if you want to."

"Have a good day at work, John Colt" she said looking at the card.

"Bye" he said, winking at her and giving her a last smile.


"What are you thinking about?" they had been silent for a while.

"About the day we met," she replied.

He laughed. "I played it so confident that day," he said, "but I was so nervous, I've never picked up a girl at a café before."

"You are kidding" said Ana looking at him in disbelief, "you knew it by the book."

"I'm serious, and then you took your time to call me."

This time Ana laughed. "I called you two days later, and I was hoping I would meet you at the café, I went the next day at the same time, and you never showed up."

"Well, you didn't call me, so I didn't want to be more ashamed than I already was and went to another one, further away and not as good."

Ana remembered not calling him right away. John was lucky she called him at all, by that time she would compare every guy she met to Christian, even if they were perfect for her, she would always find something that would make her back up. But she liked John and his confidence, and once they started dating, they had chemistry, he was tender and caring, he would make her laugh. Then she remembered telling Christian she wasn't happy, but how could she not be happy with John? The truth since the day he told her they needed to move to Seattle she changed. She was the one sabotaging the relationship just because she found herself close to Christian. Then she felt regret, because she remembered talking to Kate and thinking that John and she would never have a relationship as long as Elliott and Kate's, and she felt guilty. Did she wish for this to happen?

She was sorry for the change in her when they moved to Seattle, and she wished they had never moved. Without thinking over, without regret and without sabotaging her feelings anymore she told him "I love you, John."

He smiled. "I love you too, Ana," replied John sighting. "It's getting late. Go home. Have some rest."

"I'm not leaving you."

"I don't want you to leave either, but at least go pick up some comfortable clothes for us. Also, the car is at the office, perhaps you could pick it up." Ana left his side, but she didn't manage to get further because he grabbed her by the hand and pull her to him.

"Ana," he said, he had realized something, she saw sadness in his eyes this time, "happy monthiversary." He kissed her, and she kissed him back and they put everything they couldn't say in that kiss. They rested their forehead against each other for a moment, breathing each other's air.

"Give me my jacket," he asked her. She gave it to him, and he took a small jewelry box from his pocket. "I know it's only the third month, but after we moved you have put up with all the changes we have been through, even me being not my best version."

"John… you haven't done anything wrong."

"Yes, I have! Ana, I have been out there going from business dinner to business dinner, trying to get money for other people, feeling powerful, wanting to be respected while you were home, alone in a strange city, not sharing time with you and ignoring what you were doing. And where has that taken me…? I'm going to die..." His voice broke this time. Ana hugged him.

"What I mean," said Ana, "is that I have been different too. I was forgetting why I married you. I think the big city lifestyle doesn't agree with us."

"Ana, if you are not happy here, we can go back to Florida."

She sigh, "let's talk about that later. You were saying something."

John let go of her and opened the box and took out a small locket made with the same gold as their wedding rings. Ana opened it, and it had a picture of them on their wedding day. The same they had in their living room. "I thought I'll give you this as reminder…" he swallowed before continuing," as a reminder that we are in this together."

"It's perfect." She said whispering.

"I'm glad you like it."

"I love it. Thank you."


When Ana left the hospital, she turned her phone off, she didn't want to be bothered, she'll deal with the Greys later. They didn't have time to waste now. She picked up their car and rushed home, took a shower and packed a bag for them.

Ana had made her choice. John needed her the most right now, and they love each other, and the amount of love she was feeling for him right now was superior to any old feeling for an old boyfriend. Yes, they married very fast into the relationship. Yes, she was scared she would never find anyone else and accepted her proposal without being too convinced, and yes, she loved Christian too, but it was a different kind of love she felt for him, right now that kind of love made her feel guilty and confused instead of free and she wanted to feel free. She wanted to make John happy and make every day count.


Ok... first, don't hate me, please. I haven't forgotten this is a Christian and Ana fanfic and I promise you soon we will have some interaction and things will probably get even harder. One of the reasons I stopped writing this story and took years to come back is because I thought later on, that I should have written it as an original story instead of a fanfic so I wouldn't have to make Ana and Christian suffer, but here we are, just have a little patience.

Second, if you don't want to keep reading, I completely get it, thank you for the time invested reading until this point.

Third, thank you Krooela for the shout out on Facebook. You are amazing and I can't believe the amount of people that has taken the time to read me.

Thanks to everybody that takes a little bit of time to read and leave a review, they really make my day.