Most of the characters belong to E. L. James
"I think we are wasting time and money on this," said John to Ana. They were once again waiting for the results. This was the third scan of his head in less than a week.
Ana caressed his hand while they were seated. "I'm sorry," she said resting her head on his shoulder. "I just want to make sure."
"I know" he replied, "I just wish my hopes were as high as yours."
On another side of the hospital Christian was being tested. After talking to his doctor and a therapist he had scheduled appointments with a psychiatrist for the next months. Diagnosis: depression and drug dependency.
"Are you conscious of the situation?" Asked the doctor.
"Yes," replied Christian.
"That is good. I know you only have been on sedatives for a week. I don't see the necessity to intern you in a rehab clinic, but you must be honest, if you relapse or if you feel you can't control your need, ask for help."
Christian nodded.
"Mr. Colt, we are very sorry. There's nothing we can do about it. Your tumor is very advanced."
Hearing it for the third time didn't make it any easier.
"Thank you," replied John.
Ana and John were once again left with the imminent results. They stood there for a moment hugging each other, processing the news for the third time.
Christian was feeling better, he looked more awake, and he could walk and speak as usual. The only thing that hadn't changed was the grieve in his eyes. He wanted to apologize, he felt ashamed of the words he said to Ana. At the same time, he was angry, because no matter what was going on with her, she was shutting him off, again, and he couldn't understand why.
Jessica and Taylor were with him today, after he was done, they made their way to the parking lot. They were waiting for Taylor who was paying for the ticket.
"Oh look," said Jessica surprised. "John and Ana are here." They were coming out of the elevators and didn't see them as they turned to the opposite side.
"I'm going to say hi," she said. "Are you coming?" She asked to Christian.
"We are going to the car," replied Taylor taking control of the situation.
Jessica ignored the men and went towards the couple. They were paying for their parking ticket too.
Christian slowly followed Taylor, he wanted to go to Ana, he really did, but his mind was still a mess, and he never wanted to see the scare look on Ana's face again. He never wanted to hurt her again the way he did, and he couldn't trust himself in this moment.
The men were closed to their car when they heard steps coming fast from behind. Taylor was alert and looked over his shoulder.
"Hey!" They heard, and Christian stopped. Taylor looked at him with panic. John was there, just a few steps from them.
"Hi," said John again. "You are Taylor, right?" He asked looking at the security man.
He nodded. "Mr. Colt."
"Listen, I'm sorry about the other day. I was rude to you, I feel really embarrassed about it, please forgive my behavior."
"You don't have to worry about that," said Taylor, politely.
"Thank you," replied John.
"I also wanted to say goodbye," he said this time to Christian. Who finally managed to look at him, John somehow looked different, he had a different air to his face, it was like he had matured or something, there was a calmness to his personality instead of the too eager person he met before. Christian swallowed and used all his strength to be polite.
"You are leaving?" He managed to say.
"Yes, we are going back home."
Christian breathed uneasy. "Home?"
Taylor realized Christian's left hand was shaking a little while he ran his fingers through his hair. He was thinking about meds. Ana was leaving him. Taylor was on edge, he was ready to hold Christian if he needed to.
"Yes, back to Florida," replied John.
"Why?!" Asked Christian, trying to keep the conversation to monosyllables, only Taylor noticed the panic in his voice.
John hesitated for a second. "Health issues" he replied calmly, "we want to be close to family," he said, "and by the beach."
The women were coming now from the other side of the paying machines.
"Is Ana ok?" He found himself asking with more concern in his voice than he should. While looking at the women coming.
"Yeah," smiled John, "I'm the problem," he said shrugging. "Well...," said John, "thank you for everything, it was really nice meeting you." He stopped for a second and continued, he didn't want to hold anything, he was trying to be a most honorable and honest version of himself now. "You don't know how much I admire you; you have been my role model for a long time in business. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable sometimes."
Christian didn't know what to say, something about John's behavior was unsettling to him, he wanted to hate this guy, but how could he after all he was saying. Instead, he asked. "You mean you are not coming back?"
John looked at him, this time more nervous, he wanted to explain himself better, but it was hard. Instead, he answered "I am not," he stopped smiling while saying it, he seemed sad now. Christian was looking at him strange.
"What are you two talking about?" Asked Jessica finally approaching them.
"They are leaving," said Christian answering, there was sadness in his voice too.
"Oh I know, it's a shame. I hope you get better soon, John."
"Hi," said Ana very shy this time, and at the same time trying not to think of Jessica's words.
John looked at his wife and erased the sad thought of his mind. He smiled at her and went to stand next to her.
"I guess this is goodbye," said Ana, she would have wanted to talk to Christian, but at the same time she wanted to be out of their sights soon.
"Bye," said Jessica hugging each of them. "Hopefully we will meet again."
John passed an arm over Ana's shoulder, and they turned to walked towards their car on the other side.
"Wait!" Said Christian anxiously, they turned, Taylor put his hand on Christian's shoulder. Christian was sober this time, even though he still had the need of medicine he was in his clever mind now. "What do mean, John? Only you aren't coming back?" He stressed the you.
Ana looked at her feet.
"I...," said john, the couple had talked about this. John has said, 'how do I tell people I'm dying? How I'm going to say it to my parents. To my siblings?' John couldn't continue, he didn't know how to reply, it was too hard.
"John is sick," replied Ana, "is better for him to be in a less busy place than a big city."
"Why? What do you have?" Christian asked raising an eyebrow.
"Christian...!" interrupted Jessica, "don't be intrusive."
"We have to go," said John grabbing Ana's hand to get out of there fast. "Goodbye."
John and Ana walked to their car, and the Greys did the same, Christian turned to look at her back, she slightly turned too, they looked at each, I'm sorry said Christian only moving his lips. He took off his phone out and showed her to her, please, he pleaded.
Ana slightly nodded.
The Greys got in their car. Taylor was driving and Jessica took the passenger seat while Christian was on the back.
"You seem very disturb Jason," said Jessica.
Taylor looked at Christian on the reviewing mirror. "I think I'm tired," he replied "we have had difficult days."
Jessica looked at him for a second. She was sad the Colts were leaving, she thought Ana could be her friend.
Christian was looking out the window, an idea occurred to him, he cleared his throat. "Did they tell you when they are leaving?" He asked as a matter of fact.
"Around 7 pm today," she replied.
Christian took out his phone and texted Andrea, his secretary.
**Andrea, I want you to find out what airline are John and Ana Colt flying and upgrade their seats. They are taking a domestic flight to Florida today around 7 pm.** -C
Seconds later she replied.
**Will do. ** -A
**Let me know when is done. ** -C
**Noted. ** -A
Christian went back to look out the window. He cleared his throat again. "What did you talk about?" He asked her trying to sound innocent.
Jessica didn't give it much thought at first, she replied, "she told me they were leaving, and that John was on medical leave, she had to put on hold a job at S..." she stopped talking suddenly, and then turned to look at him.
"What?" Said Christian who felt observed.
"Nothing," she replied. "But you didn't want to talk to them and now you seem very interested."
He shrugged. He looked out the window again, but he was too anxious and couldn't help himself and asked again. "Did she say if she was ok?"
Taylor rolled his eyes. He was being too obvious
"Oh my God…," said Jessica.
"What!" Replied Christian surprised.
"Christian, you can't be serious?"
"What!" He said again.
"The woman, the ex-girlfriend, it's Ana!" realization had hit her.
Christian looked at her, sad. He shrugged again.
"What were you thinking?!" she said.
"What do mean?"
"It's like you didn't see them together!"
He looked out the window, he felt like a kid being nagged by a parent.
"I can't believe you thought she was going to leave him. They are great together," she continued forgetting Christian's situation right now.
"Shut up!" said Christian agitated.
"Excuse me?" said Jessica offended.
"Taylor, stop the car!" ordered Christian.
Taylor knew if he didn't, things would get out of control.
"We are just a minute from GEH let me park there."
"Christian...," started Jessica again.
"Jessica…, please, don't talk to me right now." He breath heavily. "Please...," he pleaded. He grabbed his head while resting his elbows on his lap.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Taylor parked at GEH but as usual he was a step ahead. He had Christian's door locked. "Mrs. Colt, please go inside and ask Sawyer to take you home. I'm not leaving Mr. Grey alone."
Jessica knew that if Taylor has taken Christian's side it was better to leave him alone. She got off and Taylor kept driving. He kept driving outside the city.
"What do you think is going on?" Asked Christian after a while.
"I think what he has is more serious than what they are letting us know," replied Taylor.
Christian agreed. He got a text from Andrea.
**Done. Anything else you need. ** -A
**Not right now. Thanks. ** -C
"Where are we going?" He asked to Taylor.
"You'll see."
"I don't care, anyway. Thank you."
After fifteen minutes of driving Taylor said, "we are here."
Christian paid attention outside, he knew this place. "Why here?" He asked.
"Because you need it." Taylor replied.
The sign outside read:
Children's Campus.
'A place to learn, heal, grow and have fun!'
They were in an orphanage. Not any orphanage this was a special one, all paid and sustained with Christian's money. Not GEH money or foundation money or the support of Coping Together. This was all his. Only a few people knew he maintained a place like this.
They got off the car and went inside the campus, it was like the faculty of a university only brighter and smaller since it only had room for 50 children and 20 permanent staff.
They were happy to see him there. He hardly ever did go, but every time he showed up something good happen for the children, and they were grateful. Christian and Taylor walked on the hallways of the classrooms looking at the kids learning inside. They were separated by age, and they were taught the regular curricle of a school plus electives of their choosing, if the kids wanted to learn something but they didn't have a teacher for that, they would hire someone to do it.
"Yesterday I talked to your brother," said Taylor. "He warned me about something..."
Christian didn't say anything, so Taylor continued.
"He asked me to remind you why you were an orphan." Christian stopped walking, he looked inside one of the classrooms, some children were singing a song about the countries of the world. Christian has managed to make these kids feel not like in an orphanage but in a school and they would learn everything there, but also play and be happy, he gave the kids purpose in life. Silent tears fell from his eyes. This place was specifically for children whose parents were in drugs. They would take therapy here too. He built this place just so he could help children who like him didn't feel wanted or loved because of an addiction.
If they weren't adopted Christian had a fund for their education. He has managed to have 50 children living there comfortably, when one of them was adopted, they would bring another one who needed it.
"I am one of the few people that knows everything you have acquire in your life; you have done it just to have this. Don't forget it. Don't forget who you are, Christian."
A few minutes later Christian wipe his tears and kept walking, checking if the conditions of the place were still good and appropriate, he took mental notes of the things he could do better. He was thinking of improving the library. After a good inspection Christian said, "let's go home." He put his hand on Taylor's back. "Thank you."
When they got home Christian grabbed Violet. He hadn't done it in a while. He hold her for a long time. He was forgetting the important things, Taylor was right. He had a life, with or without Ana, he had a future for his daughter. Only Elliott, Kate, Mia, Taylor and Gale knew he had that place. All his efforts of making money he has done it with the goal of helping children like him.
"I'm sorry," he said to his daughter. "One day I'll tell you my story. I hope you never feel ashamed of me." She would look at him with big grey eyes, like her father's and then rest her head on his chest. She fell asleep after a while, he put her on her crib and gave her a kiss, he covered her and went to his room.
It was three pm and he hadn't heard from Ana. She'll call, he thought. I know she will. He felt some pain in his arm. It was starting to itch, but he controlled himself of doing anything stupid. He was done with stupidity. He needed to keep his mind busy. He went to the closet and chose a suit. He was done being the victim he was going to work. He texted Taylor.
**I'm going to the office. I'll be ready in ten minutes. ** -C
He finally looked at himself in the mirror, he wasn't ashamed of looking at himself anymore, the thing he was more scared about was seeing the ghost of his birth mother there, he wasn't and addict, he would never do what he did again. He fixed his tie and went downstairs.
When Taylor saw him walking down the stairs he smiled. The truth is for Gale and him Christian was more than a boss, he could be grumpy sometimes, but they were fond of him, he only wanted the best for him.
Taylor's phone rang on their way down the elevator. "Hello, Mrs. Colt." He said making eye contact with Christian. "He is much better, he can talk."
Taylor gave his phone to Christian, they were already at the parking lot, Taylor went to the car to give him privacy.
"Hello," said Christian.
"Hi," replied Ana.
"You called, Ana..." he said relief.
"I am sorry I couldn't earlier. John is in the shower; I don't have much time."
"Ana, I'm at the parking lot, please come."
"Christian... I can't, it's better this way."
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry..."
"What happened to you?" She asked.
"Well…, Jessica and I are getting a divorce, my parents have done stuff that I don't understand, I was mad at Elliott, and you were… absent," he said "I had more medicine than I should. You saw me…"
"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you. It has been too hard, these days... life has changed."
"I haven't been myself these days either, but you ignoring me, made things harder. What's really going on, Ana. Why are you leaving?"
"I don't even know where to start and I don't have much time."
"I know you love him; I have always known; I was just too selfish to tell you. But now... you are leaving... Why are you leaving?"
"John is sick," repeated Ana.
"There has to be more to that, tell me the true," he insisted.
"Christian, it is the true, he doesn't have time. Doctors can't do anything about it. He has max six months to live," she replied with sorrow.
"Shit!" Christian couldn't believe Ana's words.
"He needs me more right now, Christian. I hope you can understand that and...," she stopped.
"And...?" he asked.
"And I do love him."
"I know…," whispered Christian.
"I don't want you to be waiting for something that can't happen. I want you to forget about us."
"How could I do that?" He said with pain.
"Meet someone else," she suggested.
"You sound like my father."
"I mean it. I feel like I have only made you suffer," this time there was pain in Ana's words.
"You have been thinking too much about what my brother said to you."
"He is not wrong, is he? After yesterday..."
"Ana, what happened yesterday, that won't happen again. I can't believe the things I said."
"I need you to take care of yourself." She told him.
"I will... Ana, please don't shut me out. We can be friends." He begged her.
"No, we can't. That would not be good for you. Please respect my decision. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but I didn't know how to say it. I am doing my best to make him happy. Please don't do anything to stop me from that."
"I won't." He promised, sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry you have to go through this."
"Me too. Bye, Christian," she said for the last time.
Christian got to his floor in GEH. He said hi to his secretary and assistants. "Is Ros here?" he asked.
"Yes, I'll ask her to come," replied Andrea.
"I'm happy to see you looking like yourself," said Ros entering the office and walking to give her friend a hug.
"Thank you," he replied.
"Are you back?" she asked.
"I think so…, I hope so…" he said thinking that Ana must be leaving to the airport. "No that you need me," he said smiling at her, "GEH looks in one piece."
"You are welcome," she said smiling back. "How is your arm?"
"Itching, it's a struggle, because I don't know if it hurts or if my mind is doing it so I could ask for a pill, but the worst passed."
"Have you talk to Elliott," asked Ros. "He is worried about you."
"No," denied Christian with his head. "Did he tell you what he did?"
"Yeah, he is really sorry, he has been trying to apologize, but Ana appears not available."
Christian didn't say anything for a few minutes.
"I came here to think about other things. What do you have for me?"
"Ok," she said. "But let's do something tonight. Let's go out."
Christian shrugged. He needed to take his life back.
"Come on. Barney's been working on a great app that needs your approval. It's really cool…," she said while both left the office and walked towards Barney's center of operations.
Thank you for reading and for all the love showed to me in the last chapter, you are amazing people, and I love to read your reviews.
