Hey there!
As always, thank you so much for the reviews/follows/favs!
Words cannot express my gratitude.
I wanted to update the story sooner, but I hit a block, and a very persistent one, too.
Writing this chapter for sure cost me about ten years of my life ;)
Oh, the frustration XD
Either way, I hope you guys like it.
Have fun reading it!
Chapter 15
-Stay in my arms if you dare-
"I love you…"
With these harrowing words echoing through Charley's head, the image slowly vanished and again, all that remained was darkness, yet it seemed different.
Less dominant.
There was a soft click, and all of a sudden, Charley felt something again.
A tingling sensation in her fingers, one that soon spread through her entire body, warming up her cold and sore muscles.
It felt good, at first.
As if she was taking a warm bath after driving her cherished motorcycle on a cold winter night.
However, the more she became aware of her body, the more distress she sensed.
Like her heart, which was painfully pounding against the inside of her chest.
Or her breathing, which was rapid and unmanageable.
There was a strap around her torso, or at least it felt like there was, pressing its heavy weight on her chest.
Her stomach felt strange, almost hollow.
As if she hadn't eaten in days.
Swallowing seemed to be difficult as well, as if there was something stuck in her throat.
And then there was her head, which really, really hurt.
As if it was being crushed in a vice.
All things considered, she felt pretty miserable, but at the same time, it felt as if she still wasn't really there to experience it to its fullest.
As if she was caught in a place between reality and illusion.
As if on cue, there was another click, a louder one this time and while she suddenly felt the nighty cold caressing her damp skin, her eyes flew open.
And just like that, she was back in her own head.
Back in her own body.
Too bad that Vinnie's memories were now etched into her brain, which was exactly what she had been afraid of.
To make it even worse, she was still entirely caught up in his misery, which now mixed with feelings of her own and the result was… overwhelming, to say the least.
With every cell in her body now on high alert, her senses started to work again, even more so, they seemed to go into overdrive.
Vinnie's scent hit her in the face, but where it usually calmed her nerves, it now only reminded her of that awful smell when the flames of the explosion melted the flesh off of his face.
Her ears caught the sound of his breathing, but all that echoed through her head was the wailing sound that had left his mouth shortly after the explosion.
Her vision became sharp, and soon, her eyes locked with red ones, but all she really saw was the mask, which reminded her of Harley, or actually, of how much he had loved her.
Of the pain losing her had caused him.
Of him whispering the words 'I love you', words she so desperately wanted to hear him say to her, but it would never be the same again.
His grief had stained the purity of those three simple words which were in reality the antithesis of simplistic.
It had stained the purity of their love…
"No", Charley gasped as she pushed Vinnie away, for his arms suddenly felt like a prison.
He quickly gave her some space, and she scrambled to her feet, or at least, she tried.
But after stumbling a few passes, her legs gave out and she dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her face.
"Jesus, Vinnie…", she panted as she leaned forward, resting her weight on her hands in the hope that touching the wooden floor of the treehouse would help her snap out of this awful state of mind, but it didn't.
"Make it stop… Please, make it stop…"
Warm hands soothingly rubbed her back, but in some sort of reflex, she backed away from them, for she couldn't endure his touch.
But the hands didn't go away.
One now slid to her neck and feeling his fingers brushing her skin almost made her throw up, but he still didn't let her go.
"Look at me", he said quietly as his furry fingers now drifted into her hair, gently caressing her scalp.
Charley shook her head, still completely overwhelmed.
"I can't… God, it hurts, Vinnie, it hurts…", she sobbed as she buried her fingernails in the wood, but she didn't even feel the pain when they broke, one by one.
She had no idea what was hers and what was his.
One Mind Walk was enough to lose her own identity, to lose herself in his complex and blood-stained past.
Shit, this was completely and utterly insane.
"Please, take it away… take it all away…"
"I will, but you'll have to look at me, sweetheart."
But she couldn't.
She didn't dare to.
She couldn't bear looking into his scarlet eyes, for it would only remind her of what he had been through and the pain that was intrinsically linked with it was just too much.
Even without looking at him, it was crushing her, literally, and her breathing became more wheezy.
That seemed to alarm Vinnie, and his movements became a bit more compelling.
After positioning himself in front of her and being a little less delicate, he took her head in a tight grip and forced her to look up.
"Look at me, Charley."
As always, his maddening raw voice did the trick.
Still gasping for air, Charley raised her eyes, bracing herself for another wave of that agonizing pain the moment she would look into his ruby-red eyes.
When her gaze eventually met his, her face twisted and she started to cry even harder, all because seeing the agony she was feeling reflected in his eyes broke her heart, for it only made it more real.
Even more tangible, and that while it was already consuming her.
God, what did he do to deserve such misery?
All he ever wanted was freedom, and yet, all he got was a cage made of despair.
"I… I'm so… so…"
I'm so sorry.
All she wanted was to tell him how sorry she was for him.
But there was simply no breath left for her to speak.
Vinnie shook his head almost invisibly, as if he was trying to keep his emotions away, or maybe it was just because he wanted her to stop talking.
To use the little air she had left to breathe before she might pass out.
Even now, he was taking care of her, and that while it was supposed to be the other way around.
She was supposed to comfort him after reliving a few of his darkest memories, and yet, here she was.
Having the biggest mental breakdown she had ever experienced.
Again, she tried to tell him how sorry she was, but he rested a finger on her lips to stop her.
"Close your eyes."
Charley immediately shook her head in both fear and some sort of childish denial, knowing perfectly well what was waiting for her if she would do what she was told.
"No."
There was no way in hell that she would go back to that.
She would never close her eyes, ever again.
She would never sleep, ever again.
Sleep was overrated, nightmares even more.
Vinnie bit his lower lip as his gaze roamed her face, but then the left corner of his mouth curled up as he slightly shook his head, by the looks of things amused by her stubbornness.
"Just do it, Charley-girl. Trust me."
And, strangely enough, she did.
Even after everything that had happened to her after meeting him, and that included this insane Mind Walk, she still trusted him.
And thus, after giving him one last pleading look, she closed her eyes, her entire body quivering in fear of what was about to happen.
However, at the same time that she closed her eyes, Vinnie leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss on her dry lips.
What she didn't notice was that while he was doing that, one of his antennas brushed her forehead.
It was then that the strangest thing happened.
The all-consuming pain decreased rapidly, and so was the anxiety.
Everything, actually.
The fear.
The anger.
The heartache.
Everything.
Like a wound that healed, until there was only an abrasion left.
Still poignant, but bearable.
Even more so, the images he had shown her, the ones she feared her brain would force upon her the moment she would close her eyes, didn't come.
She simply couldn't envision them, not even when she tried, although she wasn't sure why she would do such a stupid thing in the first place.
And just like that, her breathing slowed down, and so did her heart.
Finally, she was able to breathe again and her eyes flew open.
"There", Vinnie smiled lovingly as he wiped the wild bangs of her auburn-colored hair out of her heated face.
"Welcome back, sweetheart."
Charley stared at him, her lower lip still slightly trembling as the stream of tears finally came to an end, but she was still highly confused.
"What… what happened?"
A shadow flickered across Vinnie's face, making him look so sad all of a sudden.
"I'm sorry you had to see all that. But it was the only way. You needed to feel my pain. Only then can you fully understand why I am who I am. Above all, you need to know what you're getting yourself into. That seems only fair…"
"But… it's just… I can't remember it, or well, not really. I mean, it's still there, but at the same, it isn't… It's like I can't reach it, or something", Charley babbled like some sort of idiot, and her cheeks started to burn when she realized how crazy, if not dangerously deranged, she was sounding right now.
But this was just…
Well, she had no idea what this was.
She was completely lost.
Grateful that it was over, yes.
But lost.
Vinnie flashed her a fragment of that insanely sexy smile of his, but it didn't reach his sad eyes.
"I just pulled you back, that's all."
Charley let out her breath and slightly shook her head while she shrugged one shoulder with a furrowed brow.
"What does that even mean?"
"It means that you were stuck in the place where you and I were mentally still one", he told her as if that was enough to call an explanation, which it wasn't and when Charley just kept gawking at him, he heaved a sigh.
"It's hard to explain, but your brain needs some time to come back after a Mind Walk, and I… Well, I guess I just broke the connection a bit too soon…"
"Because it's different with humans", Charley mumbled, now remembering that little detail he had shared with her in that alley.
Vinnie's ears drooped and he shot her a guilt-ridden look as his tail wrapped around her ankle to give it a comforting squeeze.
"Yes. I'm sorry. I should've known better."
Charley snorted, but not because she was mad at him.
She just couldn't be mad at him.
Not right now, that is.
She was just tired.
So, so tired…
"It's okay. Just another day at the alien office…"
If only she managed to sound convincing, to make him believe that she was okay, for it was all she ever wanted right now.
Perhaps it was even some feeble attempt to convince herself that she was fine.
But the thing was, she was everything but okay.
Shit, she was not even close to being okay.
For a moment there, she thought she was, but now…
Not so much.
Not only was she plagued by something very dark, something she didn't even dare name, but the invisible strap around her torso was also still there, she now noticed.
A little less tight, maybe, but she was still feeling a certain pressure on her chest.
Or maybe it was just her heart that had turned into stone, pressing its heavy weight on her soul.
She had never felt this heavy before.
Almost as if something was pulling her down.
However, as it was no surprise, Vinnie was fully aware that she wasn't as okay as she pretended to be.
As always, he looked right through her, and he gave her this look, one that told her that he knew.
He knew that something was pulling her down into the abyss of eternal darkness, which made her think for a moment that perhaps it was just part of the aftermath of a Mind Walk.
Perhaps she was supposed to feel this way, and perhaps he could make it all better.
Like he always did.
Like the hero he was to her.
But the moment he opened his mouth, she knew he couldn't.
Not this time.
Maybe not ever.
"Charley, I…"
"I need to pee", she cut him off, her breathing already increasing again by only hearing his voice.
His voice, that carried so much sympathy and love, yet it was also soaked with that awful sadness.
That sadness that had broken her heart and soul, her everything.
And even though it all seemed so far away right now, like a distant memory, that's all that it should remain.
A distant memory.
Just like him and her.
There was just no other way.
"Have you by any chance thought of building a toilet in this thing?"
While she was waiting for the answer that she actually already knew, Charley did everything within her power to avoid his gaze, for only the thought of seeing him looking back frightened her, which was odd, yet it was the truth.
But she always had been stubborn, and thus she couldn't stop herself from glancing up at him from under her lashes, only to see him looking back at her with his beautiful red eyes narrowed and a frown between his brows that made him look ten years older.
He was obviously worried about her, which only confirmed her earlier conclusion.
He was, without a doubt, sensing that something was very wrong.
Of course he was.
They had shared a mental connection, after all.
Also, he already seemed to know her better than anyone ever did, and that included herself.
As she tried to stop herself from shivering, she quickly lowered her gaze again, for she didn't want him to read in her eyes that he should be worried.
That there was, indeed, something very wrong.
Very, very wrong…
Still, for a reason that was unknown to her, he decided not to ask the question that was obviously lying on the tip of his tongue.
Instead, he let out his breath and shook his head.
"No. You'll have to go in the bushes, I'm afraid."
Perhaps he just wanted to give her some space.
To give her some time to process what had happened.
Or maybe he just didn't feel like mopping the floor in the middle of the night.
Maybe he, indeed, bought her excuse and truly believed that her bladder was full.
Well, whatever it was, Charley could only be grateful that he just gave her the answer she so desperately wanted to hear right now instead of asking her difficult questions, and while biting her lower lip, she scrambled back to her feet.
The world around her immediately started to spin, clearly, her head wasn't ready to get into movement again, but she stubbornly ignored it as she stumbled to the trap door.
After pulling it open, the effort of it making her almost faint, she shot Vinnie a quick glance without really looking at him.
"I'll be right back."
In a way, she expected him to stop her, shit, maybe she even wanted him to.
But he didn't.
All he did was silently watch her climb down the ladder, and Charley pushed back the tears that already threatened to overwhelm her again.
Her entire body, each and every cell of it, practically screamed that she was making the wrong decision here, but she still walked away from the treehouse without looking back.
She simply couldn't look back, for there was only darkness and pain.
Most of all, there was a destiny she thought was right, but wasn't.
A role she couldn't fulfill, not even in a million years.
When she reached the treeline, she was already crying again, but she still didn't stop.
She just kept putting one foot in front of the other at the same rhythm as her heartbeat, straight into the darkness of the forest.
Perhaps it should frighten her, but it didn't.
This darkness was nothing compared to the one she just left behind.
Fuck, how could she have been so stupid?
So goddamn naive, once again.
As if she could save him.
No one could.
No one except…
"Where are you going?"
It wasn't his voice suddenly resonating through the dark veil of the forest that startled her.
No, it was the way it sounded that gave her the chills, and she slowly halted between two trees, the raw tones of his despair echoing through her head.
It was utterly absurd how he managed to sound so desperate while only speaking four words, and it literally cut through her soul.
God knew she had to turn around, to look at him, to comfort him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but she somehow couldn't, and she hated herself for it.
For being such a wuss.
It was just so not like her.
But the sad truth was that she hadn't been exactly herself ever since she met him.
Meeting him had changed everything, including her.
Not even her walls had been strong enough to keep him out and now all there was left was a shadow of what once was.
As silent tears still streamed down her face, Charley raised her green eyes in the hope the moon would look back through the thick canopy to give her strength but, as it seemed to become a habit, there was only darkness.
"I told you, I need to pee."
Her voice cracked with emotion, but she still managed to get the words out, which was quite astonishing with her pinched throat and shortness of breath.
Too bad it was just another lie.
Something he didn't deserve, not even the slightest, and yet here she was.
Being dishonest and weak.
But mostly weak.
Fucking hell, what was wrong with her?
"You're leaving me, aren't you?"
Oh, God, his voice.
It sounded just like that moment when he lost… her.
Soaked with dismay and Charley squeezed her eyes while lowering her head, her entire body quivering as she tried very hard not to fall to her knees, but she still didn't turn around.
She merely couldn't, although it was the least he deserved.
To be looked in the eye when his heart was broken by her.
As she was desperately trying to find the words, she could hear him taking a few steps in her direction, and although her ears weren't as good as his, even she could hear that they were steps made by someone who was beyond scared.
In fact, his desperation and dread seemed to infuse the entire air around her, making it thick and somewhat sluggish.
Perhaps he didn't need her to say the words.
Perhaps he already knew.
"Charley, please… Don't do this…"
His voice broke, and he stopped, probably to grab himself together because that's what he did.
He always grabbed himself together when he was about to break, as if he was afraid he would lose some of the pieces.
Or maybe he was just scared that he wouldn't be able to put them together anymore once they were separated.
That he would never be whole again if he gave in.
As always in denial that he was already broken.
But apparently, today was different.
Apparently, the prospect of her leaving made him simply unable not to break.
"It'll destroy me…"
A muffled sob escaped Charley's lips when she heard him whispering these words.
Perhaps she should feel flattered that he allowed himself to break in her presence, but unfortunately, it only reminded her of the reason why she was about to walk away.
It only reminded her of the one person that had witnessed him breaking for the first time, and without thinking, she already took a step forward again.
Away from him.
Everything inside of her screamed that she had to tell him that it wasn't his fault, that he hadn't done anything wrong, but all she really wanted right now was to get the hell out of here.
To free herself of this dark cloud of pain and misconception.
To see the light again.
But a hand grabbing her arm stopped her.
"Don't."
Charley froze, and not because of his hand that was holding her arm in a tight grip, so tight, that it almost hurt.
Again, it was his voice.
It wasn't fragile anymore.
Nor was it desperate.
No, it was cold.
Distant.
His capriciousness shouldn't even surprise her, much less affect her, but it did.
Every time, it did.
Something had changed.
Something was different, and gradually, she turned around while holding her breath, expecting to look straight into his all-telling red eyes.
However, his face was hidden under his hoodie again, and all she saw was the tight line that was his mouth.
All she felt was his intense aura breathing detachment and carelessness, and it literally took her breath away.
"Vinnie, I…"
"I'm not stopping you because I want to. You've obviously made your choice. But Throttle made me promise not to let you wander off by yourself. It's too dangerous", he told her flatly, almost emotionless and he turned his head away to avoid her gaze before he started to drag her with him back to the treehouse.
In some sort of reflex, Charley dug her heels into the forestry ground, shaking her head in bewilderment.
This felt wrong, and not just a little.
A little voice told her that she should be grateful for him not forcing her to tell what was chasing her away from him as if the devil himself was on her heels, but she wasn't.
Grateful.
Not even close.
This cold treatment hurt more than words could ever do, despite the fact that she might have had it coming after betraying him the way she had done just now.
For once, him being erratic wasn't an adventure.
More like a knife stabbing her in the stomach.
The sharp blade twisted and turned in her insides, making her feel sick like never before.
"Vinnie, stop, I…"
"You don't have to explain yourself, Charley", he interrupted her without stopping, without even looking at her.
"You don't want me. Too much baggage. Fine. Case closed. Let's just get you home and then I'll be out of your hair."
His words cut through her soul, mostly because he couldn't be more wrong.
It wasn't about the baggage.
That she could handle.
After all, he wasn't the only one carrying a huge backpack with him everywhere he went.
She has had her fair share of pain.
But that wasn't what made her furious, all of a sudden.
No, that privilege went to the fact that he just gave up so easily, and it fired her anger like a missile, whether she was entitled to it or not.
What she wasn't, of course, because she had done just the same thing only moments ago.
But it at least gave her the strength to yank herself free from his super alien grip, and Vinnie turned around, obviously surprised by this sudden turn of events.
However, she didn't give him the chance to say something.
The time had come to unburden herself.
"I can't compete with her, okay? There's just no way I can possibly live up with her. She's everything I'll never be!"
Even though it was kind of a short and in-control outburst on her part, she was still breathing heavily when she fell silent again, keeping a close eye on him to see how he was going to react to this confession.
At first, nothing really happened.
Despite the hoodie, she knew that he was staring at her with his mouth half-open, completely frozen.
Even his long white-furred tail was lying on the ground like a lifeless snake, which was strange, actually, for the thing was usually always moving.
Frankly, it worried her.
With his face hidden in the shadows and his tail being as motionless as it was, there was simply nothing that could help her guess what was going on inside that complicated head of his.
But then, he gradually raised his hands and after his delicate fingers enclosed the soft fabric, he lowered the hoodie.
His hands were shaking, she now saw, but that fact was soon to be forgotten when her eyes locked with his.
Despite the dark environment, she could see the confusion swirling in his eyes like a vortex, which in turn confused her.
Why wasn't there resignation?
Acceptance, even?
He wasn't stupid, after all.
He had to know that she was right, no matter how painful that was.
They had no future…
"But I don't want you to be like her…"
A shock went through her body, kind of like she got struck by lightning, and Charley blinked a few times as her confusion grew even bigger, as far as that goes.
But this was the last thing she expected him to say.
"What?"
Vinnie buried his gleaming teeth in his lip as he eyed her, obviously contemplating whether she hadn't heard him or just didn't understand what he was saying.
"I don't want you to be like her", he eventually repeated himself, a bit insecure, though.
That was probably because she was still gawking at him like some sort of idiot.
That seemed to happen a lot when she was around him, and a blush reddened her cheeks as she forced herself to snap out of this odd trance made of perplexity, insecurity, guilt, and, oddly enough, relief.
"I'm not following you", she breathed a bit dazed, shaking her head while rubbing her temples, but that didn't stop the upcoming headache from terrorizing her.
After a short hesitation, Vinnie closed the gap between them and took her head in his hands.
The tenderness hidden behind the simple gesture made her already tear up again, but she managed to keep herself under control as she gazed into his mystical eyes.
"I don't want you to be like her. I want you to be you. It really is that simple, sweetheart…", he said softly as he gently rubbed her cheekbones with his thumbs.
Glancing into his eyes, the ones that always told so many stories, Charley could tell that he was still deeply hurt by her actions, something she couldn't blame him for, and it was now remorse that pressed its heavy weight on her heart.
Next to that, she still wasn't quite following him.
Perhaps the Mind Walk had made her less sharp than usual, or maybe it was just the severe fatigue that had crawled into her body the night she got attacked and never really left.
Which was probably just another one of those annoying side effects of a concussion.
"You will never love me like you loved her", she mumbled as a tear rolled down her cheek.
Vinnie followed the tiny drop that represented her inner struggle with his eyes, and his eyebrows switched to a position that made him look so sad, all of a sudden.
"No, I guess I won't…", he whispered, and Charley closed her eyes in defeat while her heart shattered into a million pieces to never heal again.
So there it was.
The ugly truth.
The one she had tried to run away from.
The one she had been too scared to face.
God, it hurt.
It really, really hurt…
"...because my love for you is real."
It took her overtired brain a few seconds to process his words, but when that finally happened, her heart just stopped and her eyes flew open.
When she looked into the red flames that were his irises, she could only conclude that he was being genuinely honest here.
If only she believed him, but she didn't.
She merely couldn't, if only to protect herself, and she shook her head, as far as his hands let her, that is.
"No. You can't do this. It's… It's not fair."
Vinnie's eyes slightly widened before he narrowed them, and he tilted his head with twitching ears.
"Do what?"
Nausea washed over her by seeing him expressing his internal turmoil, for she couldn't bear it.
She just couldn't endure his unhealthy denial, for that's what it was.
It was nothing but a flight from reality, and so was she.
That's what she had always been, nothing more, nothing less.
His heart didn't belong to her, it never did.
It belonged to Harley, always and forever.
She was just a distraction.
Why didn't he see that?
Why did he keep denying the truth?
"Giving me hope…", she whispered, entirely heartbroken.
Silence dawned upon them, one that was heavy and loaded.
Suffocating, basically.
For a moment, all Charley heard was the whirring of her own blood and his irregular breathing as she stared at the black bandana around his broad neck.
At those godforsaken cute little white motorcycles.
They should make her angry, or slightly annoyed at the very least because it was such a misplaced detail for the badass soldier he was, but all they did was make her feel even more miserable.
Strangely enough, these little printed motorcycles only seem to represent his true nature that was thoroughly hidden under that obnoxiously big ego of his.
A kind and caring guy.
One that stood up for her in a way no one had ever done before.
One that saved her life multiple times without hesitation.
One that made her feel alive after being numb for so long.
God.
She didn't want to lose him.
Even with all his darkness, he gave color to her life as no one had ever accomplished.
Then again, she couldn't actually lose him, now could she?
After all, he had never been really hers.
And she couldn't lose something that she simply didn't have.
Damn you, Harley…
Furry fingers drifting into her hair broke her out of the misery that she in reality only inflicted on herself as the overthinker she was, and a shiver ran down her spine when she felt his gentle touch.
She raised her eyes, only to see Vinnie looking back with eyes scorching with love.
So much love…
No one could fake that right?
Dammit, this was so utterly confusing.
The right corner of his mouth twitched before it curled up, and the result was the most affectionate smile she had ever seen.
In fact, he had never smiled at her like this before.
Never looked at her like this, and her heart made a few somersaults, tickling the inside of her chest.
"My dearest Charley… You stubborn little human…", he muttered lovingly as he tightened the grip around her head.
Not to the level that it hurt, though.
Truth be told, the soft pressure on her temples felt somewhat soothing, and the vicious headache decreased until there was only a stinging sensation left.
"You are so wrong about all this that it almost hurts. I'm not giving you false hope, I'm not trying to cover up an ugly truth, I'm merely telling you like it is. And that's that I don't want you to be like Harley, even more so, I'm glad that you're not. Because if you were, I never would've known."
The love he poured into his words made his voice sound somewhat smoky, and the slightly airless tones of it caressed her eardrums, causing pins and needles all over her body, which wasn't really an unpleasant feeling, to be frank.
His face was now only inches away, his little black nose almost touching hers, but instead of trying to get away from him again, Charley just stood there, gazing into his enchanting red eyes, already entirely overwhelmed by his immersive existence.
No matter how hard she tried to stop it, his words did something to her.
They planted a seed.
A seed of hope, just like she had been so afraid of.
The last thing she needed right now was hope because it would only be crushed and she wasn't sure if she had the strength to survive that.
This was the exact reason why she always kept people at a distance.
To avoid disappointment.
This was why she was better off alone.
But the thing with a seed such as this one was that it started to grow the moment it got planted, despite the darkness in which it landed.
It didn't need sunlight, or water for that matter.
It just grew, whether one liked it or not.
And where there was hope, there was doubt.
"Know what?", she whispered, even though she knew she shouldn't encourage him.
She should be running the other way, and yet, she didn't.
Vinnie's smile became even more fondly, a thing she never thought possible, and he rested his forehead against hers.
"How it is to truly love someone. Because I do, you know… So, so much…"
Charley's heart skipped a few beats, or actually, it felt more as if she was about to have a heart attack and her green eyes widened.
But she was completely dumbstruck, which wasn't really new when she was around him, something Vinnie was all too familiar with.
He had used the overwhelming effect he had on her to his advantage many times already, after all.
And as it turned out, today was no different.
Or perhaps he was just plain grateful that he finally had her full attention, all so he could explain himself, which he did.
"That's why I gave in, in the garage. Not because of your endless stream of questions or your breathtakingly sexy intrusiveness, but because I actually wanted to. I wanted you to know the real me, to know my pain, to know my demons… I wanted you to know everything, even the major ugly stuff."
Perhaps if he had given her the chance, she would've arched a brow, or at least given him a meaningful look, but before she could do any of that, he already let out a soft chuckle, though it was a humorless one, and slightly shook his head.
"Now, I know that might sound really strange coming from me, and so… out of character, which is true, I guess, but… Well, if there's one thing I've learned from the whole Harley situation is that it's important to open up when you have the chance. Otherwise, certain things remain… unspoken."
With every word that came over his lips, the seed grew and grew, its roots now clawed into her heart to never let go again whilst Charley just stood there, entirely motionless and listening to him breathlessly.
Taking in every word spoken by that maddening voice of his as hope lightened her dark and sorrowful heart.
Vinnie's red eyes darted down to her lips before they locked with hers again, and without warning, he closed his hands, thereby taking her hair between his fingers in a tight grip.
The pain was sharp yet bittersweet, but it was the sudden flash of despair in his marvelous eyes that made her softly gasp.
"My love for Harley wasn't healthy, Charley. It was more like holding onto something that made sense in a world that didn't make sense, at all. That's why losing her hurt as much as it did. I lost the one thing that kept me sane. But that's not love, or at least, not how it should be. I see that now. It took me a while to figure it out, but I know now."
Charley swallowed with difficulty, hoping that her voice would cooperate.
"What… What made you realize that?", she rasped, and his eyes became a few tints darker when he heard her hoarse voice, which in turn turned her insides into jelly.
However, instead of acting on his obvious increasing desire, he merely flashed her that way too sexy smile of his.
"You did."
For the umpteenth time today, Charley's stomach dropped like a roller coaster, including its screaming passengers.
"I did?"
Vinnie's smile grew even bigger, now revealing his perfectly white teeth, and he lovingly ruffled her auburn-colored hair before he playfully pushed her away, which he probably did to create some distance between them to stop the electric field from intensifying.
"Yes, you did, you crazy little human. I really don't understand why that surprises you so much."
Where she would usually be annoyed by him messing up her hair, she now hardly noticed that it was standing on end like some bad punker haircut as she, once again, gawked at him as if he just fell out of the sky like an angel, including the wings and the areola.
"How?", she eventually managed to squeeze out, and she flinched inwardly when she heard how… hopeful she sounded.
So much for not getting on the train of hope and wonders, goddammit.
Vinnie just shrugged.
"By being you."
Slowly, Charley closed her mouth, and a frown appeared on her face.
Although she was now convinced that he wasn't lying to her, she had a hard time believing that it was her personality that made him fall in love with her.
Unlike her beloved white-furred Martian here, she wasn't feeling particularly self-assured, even more so, she didn't even like herself that much.
She simply endured herself, but that was to be all.
"No. It can't be that simple", she said slowly while giving him a look that she knew literally screamed insecurity, and she hated herself for it.
Or maybe she just hated him, for being able to make her lower her walls and show her true self with all the flaws that came with it.
Vinnie didn't seem to share her skepticism, though.
"Why not?", he asked as he gave her one of his finest 'ugh, women' looks.
Meaning - this woman is complicating things to the greatest possible extent, and shit, maybe she was.
That didn't stop her from walking this path, though.
Nothing ever really could.
She was, indeed, a woman, after all.
A very stubborn one, even.
"Because I'm Charley. Just Charley. There's nothing special about me. Not even a bit."
The last word hadn't left her mouth or she felt something snaking around her wrist, and before she could even blink, she got yanked toward him.
A soft gasp escaped her mouth in surprise as she tried to stay on her feet, mainly due to the force his tail pulled her closer to him.
Perhaps she would have succeeded if her right foot didn't snag behind a tree root, but it did, clumsy as she was, and she toppled over, waving her free arm in some feeble attempt to find back her balance, which must have been a ridiculous sight.
But just when she thought that she was going to fall face down on the mossy ground, a warm hand wrapped itself around the base of her throat in the most gentle way and pushed her up against one of the trees standing near her.
All this happened in like a split second, and Charley looked up bewilderedly, straight into a pair of blazing red eyes, and the swirling anger that looked back literally took her breath away.
"Enough. I get that you're upset, but you can't talk like that. Don't you ever talk like that, you hear me? You are so much more than 'Just Charley'!"
Vinnie practically spat out the last two words with his nose wrinkled, and the grip around her neck tightened a bit.
He didn't hurt her, nor did he frighten her.
Perhaps that would be a more… sane response, but the thing was - sanity was far to seek whenever she was with him, if not nowhere to be found.
Instead, his sudden rage, along with the delicate pressure on her throat and his mouthwatering body pressing against hers, awoke something entirely different inside of her.
Something that didn't even come close to fear.
More like an all-compelling craving.
Oh… shit…
However, for once, her white-furred Martien hero seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that her body almost ignited on the spot, or maybe he just ignored it as his fingers wandered from her throat to her chin before taking it in a firm grip.
"I've lied to my bro's for you. I've disobeyed Throttle for you. I've lowered my walls for you. Shit, I have even killed for you. You think I did all that because you're 'Just Charley'? Fuck that. You're special. You make me do things I wouldn't usually do, no matter how tempting..."
A tiny muscle close to his nose twitched, making the left part of his upper lip tremble in the eeriest way possible as he pulled her face even closer to his, his fiery red eyes almost burning a hole in her skull.
"What I felt for Harley is nothing… nothing compared to what I feel for you. You are so much more than she'll ever be. Remember that the next time you doubt yourself, or my love for you for that matter...-"
He dropped a menacing silence as his gaze lingered on her lips a fraction too long to call it innocent before he raised his eyes again.
"-…sweetheart."
And just like that, that tension was back.
That almost suffocating yet thrilling tension, the same that had been there when they both came back to that awful alley that night.
It dawned upon them like a blanket, cutting them off from the outside world.
Trapping them in this peculiar nebula made of insatiable desire, a place where only the two of them existed.
Charley's breathing became a tad heavier when she felt the familiar tingle in her lower abdomen, triggered by his dizzying scent that seemed to become stronger by the second and she pressed her lower back against the tree in some feeble attempt to deal with it.
The warmth of his breath on her searing lips caused a heat to emerge in her stomach, one that soon coursed through her veins like boiling water, turning her blood into smoldering lava.
Fuck, he was hella sexy when he was mad.
At the same time, there was another feeling that joined the already intense mix of lust and desire.
One that made her heart swell up like a sponge in the water, filling up the gigantic void that had been there ever since she had lost her parents.
Ever since she was forced to walk alone with no one to hold her hand.
With no one to help her up when life yanked her legs out from under her.
But then there was he, all of a sudden.
Strolling into her life almost lazily, turning everything upside down in one fell swoop with his breathtaking existence.
And she was beyond grateful for that, she really was.
No one had ever fought for her as this particular specimen did.
No one had ever given her hell for thinking so little of herself.
No one had ever made her feel special, but he did.
Shit, he did.
As he was still holding her chin, his fingertips making her skin tingle in a very delightful way, her green eyes darted down to his mouth, only to see that he was biting his lower lip again.
He was obviously anxiously waiting for her to say something, and she couldn't blame him for that.
Not after bearing his soul as he did just now.
Her heart made a little dance, and she took a deep breath to fill her burning lungs.
"Vinnie, I…"
For whatever reason, the words seemed to get stuck in her throat and she swallowed with difficulty as her gaze wandered back up before her eyes locked with his again.
The anger was still there, but there was something else, too.
Something that could only be a glance of hope.
If only she could say what he wanted her to say.
But the thing was…
"I'm scared."
For a brief second, there was a hint of disappointment visible in his all-telling eyes, but he recovered himself remarkably quickly and he let go of her chin before he tucked a wandering strand of her auburn-colored hair behind her ear.
"For what?", he asked quietly, his gaze now fixed on his index finger that drifted along the edge of her ear down to her earlobe, and Charley shivered when about a thousand butterflies tickled the inside of her stomach.
"To… to say it out loud."
Still avoiding her gaze, Vinnie's finger now slid from her earlobe to her jawline, and from there to her chin, leaving a burning trail of flames behind on her skin.
"Why?"
Charley closed her eyes, grateful that his strong body was still pressed against hers, for his touch made her legs weak and if it wasn't for him, she would have collapsed, right here, right now.
"Because I'm scared that I'll lose it again the moment I acknowledge that this is real…", she breathed as she rested her head on the robust tree bark.
"Scared to be left behind, all alone… I don't… I don't wanna be alone anymore…"
A second finger joined the first one, and they both trailed down her throat to the little dimple above her sternum.
Charley's breathing faltered when a shock jolted through her body, all the way down to her knees, and despite him pinning her against the tree, she still slid down a few inches when her legs gave out.
But then there was his right leg, all of a sudden.
Placing itself between her legs, thereby stopping her from slithering down the tree like a swooning spineless snail.
Simultaneously saving what was left of her dignity, which wasn't much.
That peculiar heat, the one she had felt in her stomach, now surfaced in her lower abdomen and trickled down to the most sensitive spot of her body, which was probably caused by the slight pressure of his knee she was now sitting on.
Holy shit.
Her breathing, which had been shallow up until now, accelerated faster than Vinnie's bike going flat out, and her eyes flew open again, only to lock with black ones.
Lust had extinguished the flames of his rage, and the smoke had turned his eyes darker than the night, which in turn made her even more aroused than she already was, a thing she never thought possible.
As he nibbled on his lower lip, his two fingers continued their journey of discovery via her collarbone before they descended to the curvature of her breast.
"I will never… ever leave you…", he said with a voice so low, it almost made her eardrums vibrate.
Right before his fingers reached the center of her breast, they drifted to her side.
"You will never be alone again…-"
After touching her ribs, one by one, his fingers now reached her waistband.
"-...I'll make sure of that."
One finger slid between the fabric of her pants, and when the teeny-tiny hairs of his fur tickled the sensitive skin of her lower belly, her abs contracted in a most pleasurable way.
A muffled gasp escaped Charley's lips, and the sound of it turned Vinnie's eyes even a few tints darker, which was odd, for they were already as black as the night, and yet, it happened.
However, something else happened at the same time.
Something even stranger.
A soft blue light suddenly illuminated the dark environment, and for a brief moment, Charley caught herself wondering if the moon had come closer to Earth, which was ridiculous, of course.
Ridiculous to such an extent that not even her fuzzy head could be used as an excuse.
Honestly, woman…
Her green eyes darted up, straight to the source of the light, which turned out to be Vinnie's antennas.
In all fairness, if she wasn't so intoxicated by his entire existence, she would have been scared.
Scared that he would take her on another nerve-wracking Mind Walk, even though the light was now blue instead of the already familiar red.
But for some reason, and maybe even one that went beyond simple intoxication, she knew that this was something different.
Something less scary.
Something even more meaningful.
Next to that, knowing all too well that 'Overthinker' was her middle name, Vinnie didn't give her the slightest chance to rack her brain about this, for his hands were suddenly in her hair again.
And before she could even blink, he closed the gap between them and kissed her.
As always, that sounded so awfully simple, but it was everything but that.
Things were never simple when he was involved, and this time was no different.
Because the moment his lips made contact with hers, something stirred inside of her.
And no, it wasn't the 'usual' pins and needles, nor was it the electric field that fueled it.
No, this was something different, alright.
Something that merely went beyond comprehension.
It started with a certain pressure on her veins, as if they were about to explode, but before she could really worry about bleeding to death by being kissed -that would be something-, the pressure soon turned into a giant wave.
A wave of emotions, one that washed over her without mercy, and she gasped against Vinnie's lips when she realized that these feelings weren't hers.
They were his.
Again, he was doing a Martian mind trick with her, but instead of feeling worried or scared, it merely piqued her curiosity.
No surprise there.
Her arms wrapped around his waist, and she kissed him back heatedly, eager to find out what she, or actually he, was feeling right now.
It was as if he could guess her thoughts because his tongue slid along her lips before he deepened the kiss, and with that, the feelings became even stronger.
Even more profound, and it didn't take long for Charley to notice that there was actually one feeling in this giant pool of his inner self that stood out for miles.
Love.
So much love.
So much that it was almost suffocating.
Or maybe that was the shadow that lingered around it, the one that filled her stomach, making it feel as if it was weighed down by rocks.
A shadow belonging to a feeling she was all too familiar with.
Fear.
More specifically - fear of losing love.
To end up alone again after tasting the sweet flavor of togetherness.
The same fear she felt, but it was now a thousand times stronger and it literally took her breath away.
It was strange, though.
Strange, how fear and love always seemed to walk hand in hand.
How it managed to obscure the light of love, thereby taking away its beauty.
But there was something else lurking in the depths of Vinnie's soul.
The almost unbearable need to protect the light of love, to keep it out of fear's hands.
It was almost as strong as the love itself.
The need to protect her.
To keep her safe at all costs.
This was… incredibly heartwarming, actually.
To feel what he felt for her.
It went beyond everything.
To top it all off - he was right.
This, all this, was nothing compared to what he had felt for Harley, and she could know after experiencing it during the Mind Walk.
Since she was so caught up in his emotions, she didn't notice Vinnie's hands sliding down her body.
She didn't notice that he took off her pants with the help of his tail.
Or that he gently laid her down on the vibrant green moss at the base of the tree.
Or that he lowered his own pants while his lips kept playing with hers.
She did, however, notice the moment that he made his way inside of her.
Not for the obvious reasons, but simply because the moment he entered her body, his pleasure mixed with hers.
Even more so, their emotions, their physical sensations, their everything melted into this one magical feeling, one she had never felt before in her entire life.
Like a warm blanket, it covered her and instead of having rough sex in a dressing room, he now made love to her.
Lovingly.
Affectionately.
Almost painfully slow.
It was breathtaking.
It was almost surreal, even.
It was almost too much for one person to feel, but at the same time, she couldn't get enough of it.
Her hands drifted under his hoodie, her fingers following the lines of his muscles that contracted under his fur and skin due to his movements as the magical feeling grew and grew, turning her senses into a ticking time bomb.
And with every second that ticked away, the tension in her body was building up.
Vinnie picked up the pace, and Charley groaned softly as she took the fur on his back between her fingers, knowing she was close.
He, apparently, was too, and they both reached their peak at the same time, a thing she thought only existed in books or movies.
The explosion of passion made her arch her back.
It made her bury her teeth in his lower lip.
It made her gasp his name into his mouth.
It made her scratch his back with her nails.
Fuck, this was mind-blowing times ten.
There were literally no words to describe how this felt.
And it was starting to get too much.
The already familiar pressure on her head told her she was getting close to fainting, but right before that could happen, Vinnie broke off the kiss and thereby the connection.
Breathing heavily, Charley opened her eyes, and for a moment, she could only stare at him, completely at a loss for words whilst her muscles kept shaking under his also quivering body.
The edges of her vision were a bit blurry, making her feel dizzy.
In fact, it felt as if she was hovering above the ground instead of lying here underneath him.
Judging his half-closed eyes and slightly drooped ears, he felt the same way.
"Now you know. I'm just as scared as you…", he mumbled, leaning on his elbows whilst his fingers played with her hair.
His cheeks flushed under his snow-white fur, clearly, it was hard for him to admit this out loud.
The fact that he did, along with the way he looked at her gave her the sudden urge to cry, and tears filled her eyes as Charley wrapped her arms around his neck before pulling him closer to her.
This had been the most amazing, breathtaking, and passionate experience she ever had in her life, and it was also just what she had needed.
What the seed of hope had needed to grow into a beautiful tree, one that had its roots so deep in the ground that absolutely nothing could take it down anymore.
All to fortify the bond they shared, to make it unbreakable.
And as tears streamed down her face, she brought her mouth to his ear.
"I love you, too."
Say you share with me one love, one lifetime…
Lead me, save me from my solitude…
Well, I always had a flair for the dramatic, hehe.
I hope it wasn't too sad, or too mushy XD
So, I guess I've now reached the point where I usually would end the story, but I came up with another idea (one I can probably use to explain more about Charley's background story), so I guess this isn't the end just yet.
Unless you guys think this is a great way to end it...?
Please, let me know!
Feel free to leave a review, always very much appreciated.
Stay safe out there, my dearest readers.
Until next time!
Later!
