apologies, apologies, I wrote this awhile ago but I forgot to post it. hope y'all can forgive me yeesh. had a mental breakdown yesterday and with exams coming in two weeks, i figured I'd try to take a break and uncovered this doc.
"So, what's the plan?" Chan groaned softly as Minho cornered him after practice. He'd been dreading this conversation but he knew the other had been waiting for an opportunity to ask.
Chan had already started practice by the time Minho came back with the ice and he had managed to avoid the dancer ever since. After dodging Woojin's concerned questions and parrying Changbin's flurried questioning, Chan was exhausted by the time Minho appeared in his doorway.
"Ah, the plan is to train?" Chan winced at Minho's harsh scoff.
"You know what I mean."
Heaving a big sigh, Chan told Minho the details from his conversation with Jisung and Felix.
"And you just left it at that?" Minho asked incredulously. "That's as good as doing nothing! That is doing nothing!"
"What do you want me to do, Minho?" Chan said wearily. "I don't know anymore. If the two of them don't want help, how can I give it to them?"
"We can't just sit here and do nothing-"
"Well, what have you guys been doing the past few months?" Chan finally snapped. "I don't know what's going on between Felix and Dongmin. What if it gets worse when we tell JYP? From what you guys have told me, Dongjin seems to have some hidden influence. They could get Felix kicked from the survival show and from the debut team."
Minho was silent.
Chan continued, "The only thing I can think of is for me to try and get Felix to tell me what's bothering him. I can't do anything other than that. If you have any other ideas, now might be a good time to say so."
They glared at each other for a tense stretch of time. Then, Minho sighed. "No, I don't." He sank back onto his heels, defeated. "I hate doing this,"
"I do, too," Chan admitted. "Trust me, I want nothing more than the two of them to get kicked out and Jilix to get a restraining order against them even."
There was another pause. Then Minho let out a soft chuckle, "Jilix. That's cute,"
"I didn't realise I called them that," Chan smiled too.
"And they're birthday twins too," Minho snorted, "Or close enough anyway, Felix is born one day after Jisung,"
Chan was laughing now, too. "They're really fated for each other,"
"They really are," Minho agreed. The smile slipped from his face, "That's why we have to get rid of Dongjin."
"We will," Chan assured him, "We'll get there, somehow."
"Changbin-hyung,"
"Mhm?" Changbin rubbed his vocal cords, sore from practicing.
"How's practice going with Felix and Minho?"
"Mhm." Changbin stretched thoughtfully, thinking how to answer Jisung. In a rare moment of alone time, they had arrived in the dance studio earlier than the rest and had spent some much craved time catching up when Jisung posed the question.
"It's alright, I guess," Changbin chose his words carefully. "They're both working hard."
Jisung gave him a look, "So, not great then?"
Changbin gave a small smile. Over the past few days, he had been biting back his criticism for Minho and Felix so often that he had just done so again, out of habit. But this was Jisung, whom he didn't need to hide from.
"Yeah, no. Minho-hyung lacks confidence even after so much practicing and he still hasn't shaken the habit of being a backup dancer. If I didn't constantly remind him, his expressions would be as wooden as the floor."
Jisung snorted before he could help it, "Sorry, go on. Felix?"
"Lix is another problem," Changbin ignored Jisung's raised eyebrows at the nickname, "His pronunciation just seems to be getting worse. He's fine when we practice the part by itself, but when he gets caught up in the song, neither Minho-hyung or I can understand him and when we listen to playback-" he grimaced, "He can't either."
Jisung listened to all this with a grave face. "Do you think either of them will be eliminated?"
Changbin rubbed his face. "I'm doing my best, but-" he chewed his lip, "Yeah, it's a possibility."
Jisung didn't seem surprised but he grimaced all the same. "I was afraid of that,"
Changbin sighed, "I miss when it was just 3racha,"
"Me too," Jisung smiled at him wistfully, "We don't even see Chan-hyung anymore,"
"Instead of just taking care of two of us, he now has to take care of eight,"
"Humph," Jisung pouted.
Changbin shoved him, "You're just annoyed he doesn't baby you anymore. Remember when we were practicing for Hellevator, you and Seungmin crashed into each other? He was all over Seungmin immediately and you cried for an hour because he didn't ask about you."
"Well, he should have," Jisung knitted his brows, "I'm his first child. You don't really count as his kid."
"Yeah, you're more of a kid than me," Changbin rolled his eyes, "After we debut, you, me, him, let's go make some music, yeah?"
"Can you imagine producing for our team?" Jisung bounced on the balls of his feet excitedly, "Writing our own music and performing it, what a dream!"
"That's if we even make it to debut,"
"Come on, of course we will!" Jisung held out his hand for a fist bump, "Trust."
Changbin rested his fist against Jisung's as the door opened and the others came in, "Trust."
That day's practice was the most stressful session they'd had so far. Each of them came close to losing their temper, especially Minho and Changbin. They restrained themselves but each was biting back their words and fighting not to snap at each other.
"Okay." Changbin said through gritted teeth, "I think that's it for today. I'll modify some more of your lyrics to make them simpler, Felix,"
"No, hyung, you've already changed them so many times-"
"I'll modify them." Changbin repeated with a slight growl and practically shoved them out of the practice studio.
Looking at the closed door, Felix rolled his tongue in his cheek as was his habit, but in a way that showed he was unhappy.
"What?" That came out more rudely than Minho had intended.
There was a pause before Felix answered. "Changbin-hyung thinks he's making it easier for me by changing the lyrics. But I have to keep learning them again and again."
"At least you'll practice your Korean."
"You think I haven't been doing that?"
"Then why is your pronunciation as bad every session?" MInho shot back.
"Maybe because a language can't be mastered in a day!" Felix's eyes were snapping.
"Like you haven't been a trainee for a few months already-" Minho cursed and stepped in front of Felix.
"Oh, Lixie!" Jaejin called as he strolled down the corridor and Felix's anger disappeared in a second. A small whimper escaped his throat and he impulsively clutched Minho's sleeve.
Even though they had just been arguing, Minho rubbed Felix's hand soothingly as he faced down the much taller Jaejin. "Leave him alone."
Jaejin stopped in front of them, smirking in false sympathy. "Whatsa matter? Practice didn't go well? And are you prepared for the evaluation tomorrow?"
"Evaluation is in three days," Minho retorted.
"Nuh-uh, PD-nim is crammed full of meetings so he's had to switch the date. I'm surprised you don't know yet,"
Felix's grip became even tighter and Minho clenched his jaw so hard he thought a tooth might break. "Right, got it, you can move on now."
"Now, now, Minho," Jaejin wagged his finger at Minho tauntingly, "Why so tense? Is it because… you've realised debut might not be an achievable dream?"
Felix's clutching fingers suddenly became a restraint as he quickly held Minho back, the latter having made a rush at Jaejin. "Hyung, hyung, it's not worth it, don't-" Felix wasn't strong, but he grasped onto Minho with all his might, knowing that whatever happened, he could not let Minho hit Jaejin. Minho was straining against him to get to Jaejin, who, although a little discomfited, kept his aggravating smirk.
"Oh, Minho, now you need Felix to hold you back? How ironic; just like you holding him back from what he truly wants… I assume they're forcing you to see Jisung now, aren't they, love?" he smiled pityingly at Felix, switching target.
"Leave him out of it," Minho growled, the veins in his neck bulging. Felix doubled his grip, murmuring, "Hyung, don't, please, please, hyung,"
"Even if you want to debut with him," Jaejin looked distastefully at Minho, "You can't pretend you want to debut with Jisung. Not after he betrayed you!"
Felix's arms slipped a little but he pulled himself together to keep Minho by his side. But of focurse, Jaejin noticed the slip.
"Ah, still a sore subject?" he shook his head in false sympathy, "He has apologised to you though, hasn't he?"
"Stop talking to him or you'll be sorry." MInho nearly launched himself at Jaejin if Felix hadn't yanked back at the same time, anticipating his move.
"Oh, he hasn't? Dear me, don't tell me you've forgiven him? Not after he left you? Well, you'll have had plenty of practice dealing with people leaving you when this one goes."
Jaejin was very lucky that at that moment Changbin stepped out of the studio, for Minho broke free from Felix with a vehemence that the younger was completely unprepared for.
Grasping the situation in an instant, Changbin darted in front of Jaejin and Minho's blows landed on his shoulder instead. Quickly, he pinned Minho's arms and wrestled him away from Jaejin, who looked a little shocked.
"Get out of here," Changbin snarled at Jaejin. "You've done enough,"
Surprisingly, Jaejin obeyed, winking at Felix and walking off with a cheerful, "Toodledoo, Lixie baby,"
"Let me at him, I can still-"
"Stop, hyung," Changbin was much stronger than Felix and he held onto Minho with an iron grip. "Don't let him provoke you,"
"Don't hyung," Felix managed.
Minho looked at him and the fight seemed to seep out of him. "I'm sorry, are you okay?"
Changbin cautiously released him and Minho rubbed Felix's arm comfortingly, "Don't listen to him, he's just spouting nonsense as normal." He turned to Changbin, "Sorry for hitting you."
Changbin waved him away, "Nah, it's fine. I'm just glad you didn't hit Jaejin, or who knows what might've happened to you after that."
"Thanks for the concern," Minho turned back to Felix, "You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine," Felix said quietly. "Can we… stop talking about it?"
Changbin and Minho exchanged looks.
"Okay," Changbin rubbed the back of his neck, "It's already pretty late anyway, let's head back to the dorms and get a good rest."
"We'll need it," Minho said grimly, "If Jaejin wasn't lying, we'll need more than that for tomorrow."
"Have you heard?" Hyunjin fell on them the second they opened the door. "The evaluation's tomorrow!"
"Yeah, whoopee," Minho said dryly, "Is Chan-hyung here?"
"He's in his room, but, hyung-"
"Talk to Felix." Minho pushed past him, Changbin following closely behind.
"Hyung-"
Minho shut the door, cutting off Hyunjin's wail. Chan looked up from his computer, "What's up? Have you heard-"
"About the evaluation? Yeah, we know." Changbin sat on the bed, "That's not what we're here to talk about,"
Chan turned around in his chair, giving them his full attention. "No," he said, reading their faces as realisation dawned on his, "No, no, no, not again?"
"Jaejin this time," Minho answered grimly. Together, he and Changbin told Chan about everything.
Chan pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "How's Felix?"
"Pretty shaken up," Changbin sighed, "He tried not to show it, but he's upset. I just hope it doesn't affect the way he treats Jisung."
"What about the evaluation tomorrow?" Minho threw a pillow against the wall in frustration. "What if Felix gets so distracted he isn't able to perform?"
"No doubt that's what they were counting on," Chan put a restraining hand on Minho's arm. "They were probably hoping to upset you too and leave you unable to perform as well. So, calm down, alright?"
Minho took a few exaggerated breaths. Chan patted his arm reassuringly, saying encouragingly, "That's right. Don't worry about Dongjin for now, just concentrate on your parts for tomorrow."
"Did he just ignore me?" Hyunjin looked indignantly at the closed door, "What's up with them, huh?" He turned around and focused on Felix properly for the first time.
"Hey, you alright?"
Felix nodded, but his skin was so pale Hyunjin could count the freckles on his face. Concerned, Hyunjin reached out to take his hand. "Come here, sit down,"
He guided Felix to the couch, the other following him almost mechanically. "Lixie?"
"I'm fine," Felix mumbled.
Well, he clearly wasn't in the mood to talk. Hyunjin stroked his hand, trying to think of ways to distract him.
"Seungmin's in his room practicing his lines. I think Innie, Woojin-hyung and Jisung will be back soon…" Hyunjin trailed off. If he wasn't mistaken, Felix's hand had flexed suddenly when he mentioned Jisung's name.
Now, he could tiptoe around the subject, or he could probe further. He decided to probe further. "Which is your favourite evaluation song? Chan-hyung might kill me for saying this, but I love School Life. Sungie did a great job,"
He wasn't mistaken this time. Felix's Adam's apple bobbed vigorously as he swallowed hard. "Mhm,"
"Don't you think so? The mosquito part at the front reminds me of you," Hyunjin chuckled lightly. "Maybe Jisung thought so too,"
"Hyunjin," Felix paused, then shook his head. "Please, I can't deal with this today."
Hyunjin relented. "Sorry. Let's talk about something else,"
They talked about trainee days and fun memories and Felix was just beginning to cheer up when the door opened and Jisung's unit tumbled in, laughing at one of Jisung's silly jokes.
Felix immediately tensed up and Hyunjin tried to call their attention to him instead, "Hey, guys, did you hear about-"
"Evaluation, yeah," Woojin hushed the other two, sobering up at the mere mention of the word. "Where are the rest? Is Chan-hyung here?"
"He's in his room with Minho-hyung and Changbin." A look of understanding passed between the two of them and Woojin nodded.
"I'll go join them."
Having stopped their laughter by now, Jeongin and Jisung came to the couch as well. Jisung sat next to Felix, who stiffened and shifted the tiniest bit away from him. Hyunjin noticed with a pang that Jisung's face fell slightly and hastened to bring attention to himself once more. "What did Woojin-hyung want to see Chan-hyung about?"
"Oh, Dongmin came to see Jisung, but Woojin-hyung and I wouldn't let him in, so he had to leave." Jeongin beamed
Hyunjin's jaw dropped. "You didn't! How'd you manage that?"
"He kept threatening and threatening but we just blocked him," Jeongin looked shyly proud of his role.
Jisung squeezed his hand fondly, "My saviours. I didn't even have to see him,"
Felix got up abruptly. WIthout a word, he hurried into his room and shut the door.
"What's up with him?" Jisung demanded, looking a little wounded.
"I have no idea," Hyunjin confessed, "He came back pretty pale though, and Minho-hyung and Changbin-hyung completely ignored me! They just went through to Chan-hyung's room and they haven't come out since."
"I hate how they leave us out of things!" Jisung complained.
"You weren't even here," Jeongin pointed out.
"They wouldn't let me hear anyway," Jisung pouted just as the door opened and Seungmin entered.
"Ah, Minnie, back at last. You've missed out so much," Hyunjin launched into the tale and added the part about Felix's suspicious movements when he heard Jisung's name.
Seungmin listened with his mouth open and glanced over at Felix's door when he was done. "Could it be that Jaejin went to visit Felix?"
"What?" Jisung bolted out of his chair.
"It makes sense," Seungmin said thoughtfully, "If Dongmin came to threaten you, maybe Jaejin went to talk to Felix. You're just lucky Dongmin didn't get to you, but maybe Felix…"
"Oh!" Jisung looked crushed and he threw a despondent glance at Felix's closed door. "Let me go talk to him."
Jeongin grabbed him before he could take a step, "No, wait, if he's avoiding you, maybe Jaejin said something to him. Maybe he needs space,"
"Jeongin's right," Hyunjin patted the seat next to him, "Give him a while, Jisung. He might not want to see you right now,"
Jisung's eyes flashed with emotion and he looked as if he were about to argue, but Seungmin added his own advice, "Don't give him unnecessary stress; we still have the evaluation tomorrow."
Jisung hesitated, throwing another glance at Felix's door. Finally, he sighed deeply, "Okay,"
"Felix?" Chan knocked softly on Felix's door. Hearing no response, he pushed the door open gently.
Felix was sitting on his bed, looking intensely at a page filled with scribbles.
"Hey, bro," Chan tentatively ventured into the room and sat next to him, "How're you feeling?"
Felix shook his head, "I want to focus on the evaluation tomorrow, hyung, can we not talk about this?"
And as much as he tried, that was all Chan could get out of him.
Despite what his members told him about giving Felix space, Jisung still felt guilty. Although there was no way he could've known about Jaejin going to see Felix, he should've at least guessed. Seungmin did, didn't he?
He woke up earlier than the rest, barely registering that today was evaluation day. Quietly, he tiptoed out of bed, not wanting to wake the others, and made his way to Felix's room.
Opening the door softly, he peeped in. To his surprise, Felix's bed was empty, the covers rumpled and the pillow on the floor. Seungmin was sleeping soundly in the bed next to his, but Felix was nowhere to be seen.
"What are you doing?" Someone asked suddenly from behind him and he fairly jumped out of his skin.
"Lix, you startled me!" he hissed, shock making him revert back to the old name.
Felix's face hardened. He pushed past Jisung without a word into the bedroom, leaving Jisung standing there stupidly with his mouth half-open.
"Did you just ignore me!" he finally asked indignantly, lowering his voice when Seungmin stirred. "Felix, come back here!"
Felix crawled back into bed, barely sparing him a glance.
"Lee Felix!" Jisung stamped over to him, the early morning making him even more cranky than normal. "Will you look at me?"
"Let me sleep," Felix rolled over and turned his back pointedly on Jisung.
Jisung stood there for a moment, then yanked off the covers. "Lee Felix, I swear-"
"I'm going back to sleep." Felix said in his deep voice.
"You're not even going to talk to me?"
Felix's only response was to curl up into the bed.
"Felix-" Seungmin's hand clapped over Jisung's mouth half-exclamation and he felt himself being forcibly pulled out of the room by the younger.
"Come back later," Seungmin grumbled, maintaining a tight grip on Jisung.
"Get off me- Min - let me-"
"You can bug him," Seungmin said firmly, "When I'm not here and I'm not sleeping." With that, he unceremoniously threw Jisung out of the room.
"I heard Seungmin kicked him out of their room this morning," Minho snickered over his steaming cup of coffee. His dark hair was tousled and his eyes bleary, but he managed a grin.
Chan sighed and poured another cup for Woojin. "I'm just thankful that Jisung wanted to resolve it rather than his default 'get mad, ask questions later' when it comes to Felix."
Woojin accepted the cup with a grateful nod. "Nah, they're past that," It sounded more like a question than a statement.
"Look who it is," Minho said mockingly as Jisung swung open the door to his room, his mouth set in a pout. "Who knew that all it would take to get you out of bed would be-"
"Stop," Chan said quickly before Minho could finish the sentence. He didn't know what Minho was going to say, but he knew it would definitely be related to the Felix incident and he wasn't sure if early-morning-Jisung could handle that.
Jisung's face darkened into a scowl, but before he could retort, Felix came out of his room.
"Felix!" Immediately switching focus from Minho to Felix, Jisung made his way over to the younger, who half-shrank back into the room.
Just as Jisung reached Felix (and Chan had gotten halfway there to stop him), Seungmin appeared from behind Felix and put an arm around him. Something about his body language and the way he put himself in between Felix and Jisung made Jisung halt in his tracks.
"Not today, okay? Let's get through the evaluation first," Seungmin said calmly. He gave Felix a little squeeze.
Felix nodded, his Adam's Apple bobbing vigorously, "I'm sorry, Jisung, just… not today."
Chan had reached Jisung by now, but Jisung didn't seem to be trying to shove his way towards Felix anymore. Chan put his hand on Jisung's shoulder, but the younger didn't register it. Nor did he seem to register Seungmin either.
He just stared directly at Felix, but something seemed to pass between them and he nodded.
thank you to all those with infinite patience who waited for me to release another chapter. i can't promise i'll write more frequently because of school and training but i'll do my best. it's a lil mopey anda draggy rn i know, i'm sorry, i'll take a break from that and get to fluff soon, but next is the evaluation! and we all know how that ended...
