Note

This chapter is noticeably different than the others, it's actually something I wrote quickly in my free time, and eventually decided to throw in with the story. It's also incredibly short compared to the rest of them, but worry not! I'm releasing the next chapter at the same time as this one, and that one's a perfectly normal chapter.


Micheal Afton

I think.. I think I'm happy. If I really think about how I'm doing, the situations I find myself in, and the people I surround myself with, I think I can confidently tell you that I'm happy.

How I am now is a far cry from how I used to be. Before everything ended when the pizzeria burned down, I obviously, well, wasn't the happiest. It was kind of a weird feeling actually. I still felt things like happiness, sadness, worry, fear, excitement, y'know.. But I had convinced myself that how I felt in any given moment had no effect on the actions I would take. I knew what I had to do to stop my father, and no matter how I 'felt' about it, nothing would stop me from finding him, and doing what I had to do.

I didn't shut myself off from my emotions, per se, I just didn't act on them. I remember the feeling I got when I finally lured William into my pizzeria. I was ecstatic. I had him, and just about everyone else in one place. Everything was going according to plan, everything was just a couple steps away from being done with forever.. I was filled with adrenaline, hope, joy, so many positive feelings that I couldn't coin with a word efficiently. But I also remember walking back home that night with the same stone cold face I wore on me everywhere.. Even though I was experiencing hope like I'd never felt before, I was doing things the same way I usually do, with not a single difference in the way I acted.

I didn't feel human. The way I felt and the way I acted were so different, that it felt like my body's movements weren't my own. It's like I was trapped in an unfeeling machine that was running its programming without a care in the world for how I felt.

Sorry, this is a lot to say just to go over a single point, I just really wanted to get the message across that, for most of my life, emotions played no part in what I did.

That's different than the way I am now. If I'm happy, I feel a skip in my step. If I'm sad, I tend to avoid people and keep my head down. I feel things, and act accordingly.

It really does feel good.. Heh, and I get to act like it too.

My interactions with people also changed. When I started, I hardly spoke more than a word at a time, and only really responded to anyone if they asked a question.

Now, when Trudge does something funny, I chuckle a little. When Freddy shows me something interesting, I get interested. When Roxanne tries to sass me, I can sass her back.

These animatronics are something else.. I hope they feel honored that they get to meet Mike when he's responsive and enjoyable, cause he wasn't that way for.. Um.. Ever, I don't think..

I was a terrible person at first. I keep trying to think up ways to defend the actions I took, but I know the truth is I was genuinely a bad person.. I wasn't just mean to my brother, you know. I had a few friends way back then, but to be honest, they weren't exactly the highest quality people either. I was cold, didn't help anyone with anything, hell I think I threw a rock at a small dog once and snickered when it yelped.. Thankfully it wasn't that injured, but y'know.. It's the principle, I guess.

My only reasoning for doing the things I did was hatred. I hated my father, and he hated me. William did, however, love Evan. I think that's how it began, actually. I hated my father, and therefore hated Evan, for no other reason than he was what my father loved. I tormented him, and only got worse, until that day.

I still feel incredible, sometimes 'overwhelming' dread and regret for what happened on his birthday. The only silver lining is that I changed on that day. I might not have turned into a 'good' person, but I at least I wasn't the scumbag I was before.

Sometimes I wish that I could have changed just a little bit earlier. That maybe if I had my change of heart just a couple days before, this whole story might never have happened.. Unfortunately, I'm aware that I likely would never have changed from who I was if Evan hadn't gotten bitten.

The events of the past still hurt, even when those events truly are irreversibly 'in the past.' I guess that's why I'm so adamant not to let anyone else know about what happened. A horrible memory like this shouldn't exist, and the only way I know how to make it stop existing is to let it die with me.

I wonder how Evan's doing..

God.. There's nothing I wouldn't do if I could speak to him, just for a couple seconds. Just long enough to tell him I'm sorry.

He probably wouldn't want to hear it from me anyway.. sigh.

It would have been reeeaally nice to die in that fire, with everyone else.. Woulda saved me all this moping. Instead, here I am, sitting in my office chair, feeling sorry for myself. No longer with a purpose in my life. Stuck in this body for a while longer, forced to keep reliving these memories.

..In the pizzaplex..

With Trudge.

And the animatronic gang.. My friends.

With people who like me, and want to be around me.

Sigh..

I don't. I don't wish I died in that fire. I know I don't. I'm happy. Whether I think I should be or not, I'm happy.

I take a minute to straighten myself up in my chair.

I might not have a purpose anymore, but I shouldn't let that mean anything to me. Whether I've run out of purpose or not, I'm still here. After everything, I'm still here. I'm still alive.

Too much death has happened in my family already, what would I be fixing by dying myself?


Not even half an hour has passed before I started to think about it again. At least I've got a change of scenery here in the animatronic corridor.

I used to have these melancholic fits way more often back when the pizzeria burning down was recent news. My existence felt unnatural, besides being a walking corpse I mean.

I've found my place, and I found where I like to be, so I don't have these moments nearly as much as I used to. It hasn't gone away entirely though.

I've thought about the birthday more times than I've blinked at this point.. I know William was already planning to do something bad, but killing Evan was what really triggered my father into doing everything he did.

I'm not even sure if he was inherently evil anymore, maybe he truly just lost his mind and went insane when I killed Evan.

To this day, I can't believe something I was doing that I believed to be so harmless ended up causing what might be the most tragic set of murders to ever occur.

It makes you think about what you're doing, y'know? Gets me all self conscious about what I'm doing with my arms, and makes me imagine ridiculous scenarios as a possibility.. Like, I dunno, what if I bump into one of the doors too hard, causing sparks to fly everywhere and somehow short-circuit one of the gang, killing them?

Can they even short-circuit?

Sigh, I don't know.. I was just making up an example of one of the stupid scenarios I create in my head, and it's seriously making me feel a little nervous about using the doors around here.

Maybe it's safest if I just.. Sit here, don't touch anything, and don't interact with anyone. That way at least I'll know I won't-

- shrrk -

I snap my head up, and see Roxanne poking out of her door. She looks around for a second before noticing me and exaggerating a sigh.

"Why are you always the only one around when I need something?" Roxanne quips at me.

"You try 'not needing something'?"

"Get in here and help me real quick, asshole." She says before retreating into her room.

I chuckle under my breath and raise to my feet.

Thanks Roxy.. Who knows what would have happened if I let myself continue down that train of thought.

I suppose having a Roxanne around isn't always a bad thing. She keeps the bad thoughts away by being louder than them.