The morning sun shone through the dark curtains, starting to warm the room but that wasn't what woke the bookshop owner up from her slumber. It was the persistent meowing coming from a very hungry and excited kitten. Hermione opened her eyes and looked to her left, her girlfriend was still peacefully asleep while a small tabby cat was perched on her chest, meowing inches from her face. "Can I help you?" She asked, reaching up to scratch behind the kitten's ear. Squeaks nuzzled her head into Hermione's hand, loving every second of the much needed and required morning petting session. "Have you been neglected all night after your adventure to Andy's room? Goodness, how could we be so insensitive," she laughed when the kitten head butted her. "I thought your other mummy put you over in your bed." Another fierce meow came from the small kitten and Hermione accepted the fact that her beauty rest was over. She scooted the kitten off of her so she could sit up, her covers pooling around her waist. Another meow and Hermione laughed, "I need a shirt, madam," she bent over to get Bella's discarded dress shirt from yesterday. "This will do," she pulled it over her head, the material just reached the bottom of her butt. "Where's she keeping your food?" At those words, Squeaks sprang into action, jumping off of the bed and trotting over to the closet. Hermione followed the kitten across the room to the closet, opening the door and she immediately found the cans of cat food. She picked out two cans and held them out to the kitten, "tuna or chicken?" Squeaks meowed and rubbed against both cans. "No preference? Chicken it is," she put the other can back and walked over to Squeaks sleeping area. Her bowl wasn't there so she looked at the closet and scratched her head. "Where's your bowl sweetheart?" Squeaks meowed and took off across the room and pawed at the door. When Hermione opened it, the kitten took off to the bathroom where Hermione saw her litter box and two small bowls, one for food and another for water. "Here is it," Hermione bent down in front of the food bowl and unloaded the cat food, which Squeaks immediately started attacking. Also noticing her water was low, she got some fresh water from the tap. "There you are little one," she scratched down Squeaks back before using the bathroom, washing her hands and heading back into bed. She walked back into Bella's bedroom and looked at her girlfriend sleeping on her side. She was facing the door, her hair falling over her naked shoulder providing a shadow against her pale skin. Hermione knew Bella was gorgeous but took advantage of the moment when she looked soft and peaceful. Yes, she thought, I'm the lucky one. She looked back across the hall and saw Squeaks eating and closed the bathroom door quickly after dropped a few toys she had gathered in there.
Hermione quickly walked back into the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind her. She shed herself of Bella's dress shirt and slipped back into her side of the bed behind her girlfriend. "Love?" She said as she placed a couple kisses behind Bella's ear, trying to rouse her from her sleep. She slid a hand around the front of her body, tightening her fingers on her hip. More kisses were placed down the side of her neck and across her sharp jawline, "Bella?"
"Mmm," Bella moaned out when she woke, registering the sensation of Hermione sucking on her neck.
"Good morning," Hermione all but purred, letting her hand wander across Bella's stomach.
"Indeed," she chuckled, her voice deep and raspy from sleep. She tried to turn around to face her girlfriend, the need to dominate overwhelming her.
"No," Hermione whispered, which caused a hitch in Bella's breathing. "Let me take care of you this morning," she brought her hand up and lightly grabbed Bella's chin turning her head so she could kiss her deeply, pressing her naked body into the older woman's back. She let her hand travel lazily up Bella's body, cupping her breast eliciting a groan from the older woman who refused to pull away from the kiss. Hermione felt herself getting wet just from touching her lover. There was no question that she was an amazing kisser. Just one small kiss from Bella and Hermione found herself worked up, she pulled back to nip at her jaw, giving herself a moment to cool down while flicking Bella's excited nipples.
Bella had as much as she could take, she flipped over, pining Hermione to the bed. "My turn," she buried her face in her neck and started rocking her hips against Hermione's strong thigh.
"I don't think I was finished," she breathed out a small laugh.
"This," she dragged her wetness up Hermione's thigh, "this is what you do to me."
They stared into each other's eyes. Neither one moved. Hermione broke the mini silence, "so touch me."
Two simple words and Bella's resolve crumbled around them. She obliged and ran her middle and ring fingers up the length of her sex gathering a copious amount of wetness and circling the small bundle of nerves. Bella slipped her fingers into Hermione for the first time that morning while she circled at her clit with her thumb. Kisses never stopped. Hermione's face, lips, jaw, neck, and nipples were covered with kisses as the brunette raised her hips to match the thrusts of her girlfriend.
Hermione knew she wasn't going to last. She was already over-worked by her own imagination and the sexy dreams she had been having. Bella sucking on her neck combined with the pressure against the spongy raised nerves inside of her front wall sent Hermione hurtling over the edge.
"You are so beautiful when you come undone for me," the older woman whispered in her ear, gently pulling on her lobe. She removed her fingers after she was sure Hermione's final aftershock subsided.
Hermione only managed a soft chuckle, "I was meant to be taking care of you." The two shared a few soft kisses, their connection went beyond the physical side of their relationship. Hermione never knew making love to someone would be a full
body and soul experience.
Bella laid down next to her lover, facing her, watching her catch her breath. "I can't seem to help myself around you, love." A small smirk formed on her lips before she nipped gently at the pouty lower lip in front of her. "You could always make it up to me."
Hermione smiled against Bella's lips, "how would I go about that?"
That damnable smirk came back. Hermione couldn't see it but she could feel it against her lips. Bella didn't say anything. She reached for her lover's hand and trailed it down her own stomach until Hermione was cupping her sex. Bella was holding onto her wrist, keeping her in place though she was certain Hermione would never back away. The kissing never stopped as Bella rutted herself against her girlfriend's strong hand. A moan escaped the older woman's throat as the speed of her hips increased. Bella eventually let go of Hermione's wrist and brought her own hand between her girlfriend's thighs. She was still slick from their previous activities but she also felt new surges of wetness when she cupped her needy center. The brunette whimpered at the touch, still sensitive from her last orgasm. Bella read her thoughts, her wants and her needs. Rocking into each other with purpose, both women were chasing after release. Eventually panting won out and the kissing subsided, Bella rested her forehead against Hermione's. They were content breathing the same air, memorizing every hitch in the other woman's breathing. It was hard for Bella to keep her eyes open but she was determined to see her tumble over the edge again. "Fuck," she finally moaned, biting her bottom lip as the rocking of her hips became more sporadic. "I'm going to cum," hearing Bella's pleasure sent Hermione into her second orgasm with the ghost of the older woman's name on her lips. "I love you," Bella whispered as she let go and found her release. They rocked together until their breathing returned to normal. She kissed the tip of Hermione's nose and nuzzled there for a moment, enjoying the closeness between them.
The position was ideal for post sex snuggles. Hermione traced her fingers up and down Bella's naked back, feeling her skin rising under the ministrations. Today was a big day and the morning sex was a distraction but not an unwelcomed way to start the day. This was Hermione's first time going to therapy with Bella. They had to be there at 11 and were scheduled to be in sessions all day. Well, it wouldn't be all day for Hermione. She was only meant to be going to Bella's main therapy session. She was beyond nervous because Bella was going to breach the conversation of moving in with her. She herself had never been to a psychiatrist before, just a few mandated counselors so for once in her life, Hermione had no idea what to expect. "I hope that after today, we can wake up together every morning," she placed a kiss on a pale shoulder.
The older woman hummed, causing a vibration to ripple down Hermione's neck. "Me too," she whispered, her lips against the sensitive skin. "You almost had me forgetting about today," she sighed, placing a final kiss to her lover's neck before rolling onto her back, essentially leaving Hermione chilly in the morning air.
"Are you worried?" Hermione asked, sitting up and reaching for a sweatshirt that had made its way to the bottom of the bed.
Bella took the sweatshirt out of her hands and threw it to the floor, giving her a smirk. "Nope. Been doing this for years. Are you worried?"
"A little chilly," she laughed, "but not worried."
"Well come back down here," she playfully rolled her eyes. "There is still enough time for post sex snuggles before we have to leave. It's only 30 minutes out of town."
Hermione considered the warmth she knew Bella was producing. "Okay," but she still got up leaving the older woman with a perplexed expression. "I locked Squeaks in the bathroom. I need to let her back in. She can't miss morning snuggles."
"It was for her own good," Bella shouted after her naked girlfriend. "She's far too young to see her mother's having sex." She could hear Hermione open the bathroom door followed by a very loud and angry meow. She heard her girlfriend tell the kitten to not be so dramatic before the sound of little paws were heard scurrying across the wooden floor. She felt a pull at the blankets seconds before she saw the little tabby kitten clawing her way up into the bed. "Well good morning to you, miss," Bella laughed when the kitten sat on her chest that had been covered by the bed sheet. Squeaks meowed and batted at a few of her curls. She snuck her arm out of the covers and started petting the kitten who eventually gave up her angry stance and laid down on her chest. Hermione crawled back in and snuggled up against her girls. "See," Bella brought her other arm around her girlfriend pulling her in closer, "plenty of time for snuggles."
Hermione sat in the waiting area of the very white and bland mental hospital. She was immediately saddened by the fact that Bella had spent so many years of her life in this place. She wouldn't be able to do it and it just added to the fact that her girlfriend was the strongest person she had even met in her life. She brought a couple of books to read because she wasn't sure how long she would be waiting and she knew she didn't want to wander around, it would make her feel worse about what Bella had gone through. Hermione pulled out her phone to see if her papa had sent her any messages. She had made arrangements for him to look over the shop today and she suspected that he was hanging out with his friends and occasionally waiting on customers but she wasn't too worried, he had run the shop for decades. If she were being honest, she lied to Bella earlier that morning. She wasn't just nervous. She was terrified. Hermione had spent many years actively avoiding thinking and talking about the abuse she incurred from her previous girlfriends after her parents died. She could do this. Bella had asked her to come with her and she was determined to be there for her girlfriend. Plus, this wasn't about her. It was about Bella and what she needed from Hermione. The waiting area had a small tv quietly playing some calming music which she guessed was streaming YouTube, a large fish tank and a bunch of magazines. There were a few people who had come and gone throughout Hermione's stay there. They all looked nervous and uncomfortable but she could tell that this wasn't new for any one of them. She wasn't currently sitting where the hospital patients lived so there weren't any residents coming and going from the room, not that Hermione would have minded if there were. The longer she had to sit and wait, the more horrible she started to feel. She tried her best to shake all of the negative feelings out of her head. The brunette put her book back into her bag and stood up, walking over to the window so she could look out into the world. It only helped minimally as she was met by the sight of prison bars on the windows. "Hey," she heard a familiar voice call her. "Are you okay?" Her girlfriend came up behind her wrapping her arms around Hermione's waist.
"I'm okay," she nodded and turned around looking at a refreshed looking Bella. She didn't know why but she was expecting her girlfriend to be worn out and run down from a day full of therapy sessions. The dark haired woman had a few bandages on her arms from where they had drawn blood because every monthly session included a physical and medicine screen to make sure she was following the program. They also had to make sure she was maintaining her stats from previous months. Since Hermione had known her, Bella seemed to be the healthiest person she had ever met. "Are you okay?"
"Yep," the p popped as she finished the word. "We have a little time. Want to go get some lunch before our joint session?"
"Lunch? Here?" She sounded almost skeptical.
"They have the best grilled cheese," Bella said. "It's not so bad out there. I promise."
Hermione looked concerned and it wasn't a look that Bella had missed. If the older woman had any feelings towards it she held her face well. Hermione bit the inside of her cheek as she thought it over, "are there pickles?"
Bella laughed a full belly laugh, "even the psychopaths know that you have to have pickles with grilled cheese sandwiches," she grabbed Hermione's hand and laced their fingers together. "Come on," she started to pull her from the waiting area, grabbing her bag on the way out. "I won't let anyone bite you," she winked at her girlfriend. "That was mostly a joke but if I were you I'd avoid all eye contact with the locals."
As suspected, Bella wasn't lying about the deliciousness of the grilled cheese sandwich and of course there were plenty of pickles. The food seemed to be sitting in Hermione's stomach, threatening to come up when she followed Bella into her psychiatrist's office. The brunette stood at the door and watched as her girlfriend walked comfortably through the well lit office taking what she assumed to be her regular seat. "Come on in," the psychiatrist called to her. "Make yourself at home." Hermione walked into the office, slowly taking in the art work, the degrees on the wall and several family portraits hanging up as well. The degrees read: Edith Miley, MD. A feeling of unease washed over Hermione and she wasn't quite sure why. She had never been to any sort of therapy before besides the few sessions her grandparents begged her to go to after her parents were murdered. "Please. Sit," the doctor pointed to a chair opposite of her, next to her girlfriend.
"Dr. Miley," Hermione greeted the psychiatrist who was older with short grey hair cut into a well maintained pixie cut. She had glasses around her neck that were connected to a rose gold chain. She looked nice enough Hermione had supposed but that still didn't make her any more comfortable. Opting for the seat not directly next to Bella, she finally sat down.
"I've been seeing Dr. Edith for years. No need to be scared, love. And Dr. Miley? That's way too formal," she chuckled. "She doesn't bite."
Hermione gave her girlfriend a wired smile and nodded, "okay."
"Ms. Granger."
"Call me Hermione."
"Hermione. I know this is a unique experience and it can be hard to join someone in one of their therapy sessions but our intent isn't to make you feel awkward or uncomfortable. Bella asked for you to join us today because she wants you to understand the full extent of her treatment," she took a breath and saw the girl softened her edges slightly. "Well Bella, why don't you tell me what you've been up to since we last met."
"I finally had that lunch with Henry."
"You did?" Dr. Edith sounded surprised. "Tell me all about it."
"It was very pleasant. I didn't experience any ill feelings towards me. He welcomed me like an old friend. Oh," Bella's eyes lit up. "There were horses and I got to feed one of them an apple. It was something I had wanted to do for a long time. Henry also has a very extensive book collection that his wife had been collecting for years. He offered for me to borrow anything I wanted whenever I wanted."
"It sounds like Henry thinks of you as a friend."
Bella let a little laugh out, "I know. Crazy right?"
"Papa loves you, Bella. He already left me a message asking when we can come back over."
"Aren't you working at the bookshop now?"
"That's right."
"Then there are probably plenty of opportunities to see both Hermione and her grandfather."
"Indeed," Bella bit her bottom lip. "Which is also something the two of us wanted to talk to you about today."
"Go on."
"Well you see we shared a very special night on Valentine's Day. We made love for the first time," Bella looked over and saw Hermione turning red. "No secrets in here love. Dr. Edith knows how hard it was for me to get to that place with someone so it's important not to be candid." She turned back to her doctor, "that reminds me. Thanks for changing my medication. Works like a charm," she suppressed a laugh knowing her girlfriend was various shades of red without having to look. "Hermione gave me this," she reached into her top and pulled out a chain that held the key to the bookstore.
"You wear it?" Hermione asked, a little speechless.
"Of course I do," Bella held the key between her fingers. "It's the best gift I've ever received," she smiled at Hermione then turned back to the doctor. "See Doc, Hermione here asked me to move in with her. I really wanted to say yes and move in that night but I know there's a whole process to making these big ticket life decisions which is another reason I wanted her here with me when I asked you."
"You want to move in with your girlfriend?" Bella nodded. "How have your episodes been?"
"I haven't had one since the New Years ball. I attribute that to spending so much time with Hermione," Bella shrugged.
"And you feel that you are ready for this next step?"
"Most days I do."
The doctor slid her glasses onto her nose and poised her pen as if to take notes, "can you elaborate on that?"
Bella sighed and looked off into the distance not wanting to meet eyes with her girlfriend, "Hermione is exactly what I've been waiting for, I just never knew I was waiting. Does that make sense? She is a good person and for most of my life, I didn't think good people existed. She is decent and kind and cares about me. Honestly, I think she'd give me the shirt off of her back if I asked." She refused to look over at the brunette and was also avoiding eye contact with her doctor. "Sure," her stream of consciousness continued, "I can provide for her financially but she doesn't need me for that. Her bookshop is doing so well and she's going to publish her first book soon." A small smile finally appeared along with pride for her girlfriend. "If I can't provide for her financially, what good am I? I can't promise that I'll never have episodes or that I'll be miraculously fixed. It doesn't work that way. So there goes stability and trust. I can't carry children. The mental hospital saw to that. I can't help her grow a family that way so that's out the window."
"What do you have to offer her?"
Bella sat for a few moments contemplating what the doctor asked her before speaking, "all I have is me. The stripped down version of myself. No covers. No walls. Just me. And I'm absolutely terrified that one day I won't be enough for her."
"Has something happened that led you to these particular feelings?"
Bella chuckled, "you mean besides 42 years of inadequacy? No, Hermione has been the perfect girlfriend. I just want to be the one who can give her everything she wants in life."
Both Dr. Edith and Bella turned and looked at Hermione who was wiping a few stray tears from her eyes, "it's clear that this is making you feel. Would you like to use this space to talk about your feelings?"
Hermione hurried to wipe the rest of her tears, swallowing the rest down. She was feeling many feelings. She just never had the opportunity to express them so formally and it made her nervous. "Umm," she sucked in a breath and turned to her girlfriend. "Bella, the only thing I expect or want from you is your love. I never wanted money or for you to take care of me. Love isn't about one person providing everything. It should be about the pair working together to take care of each other. I just want your love and support and so far there has been no inclination that you won't be able to give that to me," she noticed her girlfriend shift. "I know the episodes won't go away but I've been reading," she saw Bella smile. "I know. Shocker. But I have. I've been learning about your diagnoses and helping myself be able to help you better. The thing about the children?" She noticed Bella raise an eyebrow, "I'm content with us and our animals. I want you to be comfortable bringing these things up with me when you feel them. I'm open to talking about anything with you. I feel so much love for you and I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. I will never turn you away for your feelings."
"Well that," Bella nodded, "is an offer I've never experienced before."
"Bella, I love you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. I will always be here for you," she smiled and reached across to touch her girlfriend on her knee.
"I guess I'm just scared," Bella picked up the conversation. "I guess I'm just scared that I'll hurt you… not physically of course because I can control myself but emotionally. You've been through so much with your past relationship that I don't want you to ever have to fear me."
"I'm not afraid of you, Bella. I've never been afraid of you."
"I've seen what's happened to you. What Laura did to you. What I'm capable of. I am so scared of hurting you like that."
"Bella had told me what transpired between you and your ex-girlfriend and what subsequently happened after that," the doctor turned towards Hermione. "How did that make you feel?"
Hermione seemed to be caught off guard. Wasn't this supposed to be Bella's therapy session? "It wasn't the first time she struck me but it was the first time she beat the shit out of me. I was lucky to make it out of there alive. Bella," she wiped a tear away. "Well she took care of me after the attack and I knew she was special. She treated me the way nobody ever has before outside of my family. After my parents died, I went through a string of relationships that all ended the same. These women were verbally abusive to me and eventually lost interest and left me. Laura stuck around. She said she loved me. I know now that I was wrong. She never loved me. She loved being able to control me."
"Go on."
"When I found out what Bella did to Laura I was concerned. I don't think I was ever scared of Bella. I know that she wouldn't do anything to me. I think mostly I was worried about what Laura and Bella would do to each other."
"I haven't had any contact with Laura since that day in her apartment," Bella said defensively.
"What about you, Hermione? Have you had any contact with Laura?"
Hermione's heart started to race. She knew she told Bella about the texts Laura had sent before she confessed everything to her. There have been more since then that she hadn't mentioned to Bella. Mainly because she didn't want to upset her but also because Hermione never responded to any of the threats. "Yes," she responded, looking down at her hands. "Laura has been in touch."
"Since those texts you told me about?" Bella's fists were clenched.
"Yes," Hermione cringed and noted Bella's body language. "I didn't respond to anything she sent. Just empty threats. Trying to turn me against you."
"Why didn't you block her number?" Bella was trying to control her anger.
"I don't know."
"Maybe Hermione hasn't yet deleted her phone number because she needs some finality to everything. She needs closure from that stage of her life no matter the circumstances surrounding it," she looked to Hermione and then back to Bella. "We've talked about closure before. I think that this is important to both Hermione and yourself."
"I'm having a lot of feelings going through my mind. I don't know what else to say," her face was set and fists were clenched. Her knuckles were turning white, "if I could get away with murder, I would do it. Laura needs to pay."
"Bella," her doctor scooted her chair directly in front of her patient. "Look at me," she waited until Bella was looking in her eyes. "I need you to take some deep breaths with me," Bella rolled her eyes. "Come on. Like we've been practicing." She nodded and Bella took a deep breath in. The doctor counted to ten and had her exhale on the count of seven. They did this for a few minutes before Hermione noticed the slack in her girlfriend's hands. "Good work, Bella. The deep breathing exercises are paying off."
Bella and Hermione didn't say anything for a few minutes. It wasn't exactly how they intended this session to go but Bella noted they were almost out of time. "I understand why you didn't tell me. I clearly still have a lot of anger towards that woman and hearing that your other girlfriends weren't any better almost set me off." She washed both of her hands down her face. "I get it. I want you to be able to tell me things without the fear of this."
"And that will come," the doctor cut in. "The two of you need to work on the communication of the harder, more sensitive subjects but from what I see and have heard, the two of you are doing wonders for each other."
"And living together?"
The doctor smiled a smile that Bella didn't like, "I have an assignment for the two of you before I sign off on you moving into Hermione's house."
"An assignment?"
Bella rolled her eyes, "she always has assignments."
"I want to see how the two of you handle a difficult situation. Both of you need to overcome a few things, that much was clear today." She stopped and waited as Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Hermione needs closure with Laura."
"I do," Hermione admitted, chewing on her lower lip.
"And Bella," she smiled, "you need to face Laura and see Hermione deal with this difficult scenario without spiraling out of control. I believe that the two of you will be able to do this without incident."
"So Hermione gets," she let an angry breath out of her nose, "closure with that bitch and I refrain from killing anyone and then what? We are magically a perfectly happy and normal couple?"
"Bella," the doctor's voice was soft. "It's clear the two of you are already deeply in love with each other. Hermione, does this sound like something you are willing to do?"
"I'm in this, 100%. I want to end that part of my life forever so I can move on with you," she turned to her girlfriend.
"After everything you saw today," Bella's voice was barely a whisper. "You still want me to move in?
To have a future with me?"
"More than anything."
"Two weeks," the doctor got up and walked around to her chair as her timer went off. "We will reconvene in two weeks. If everything goes as I expect it to, I see no reason why you can move in with Hermione."
"Okay then," Bella shrugged and stood up. "Two weeks."
Hermione thanked the doctor for her time and followed Bella out of the office. They didn't say anything to each other as they walked out of the psychiatric hospital. The silence was eating away at Hermione but she knew everything was going to be all right when Bella reached down, looping their pinky fingers together.
