Chapter 81 – Talk To Me


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I closed the floo and put on anti-apparition spells on the house before I climbed the stairs. I shrugged of my dress and pulled an overlarge shirt over my head before I climbed under the covers. I breathed in slowly as I tried to keep my tears at bay. I was so confused, I felt guilty and happy at the same time. I didn't know what to do. I fell asleep with a clouded mind.

The next morning, Andy let me sleep in because I only woke up when it was nearly ten. I tugged on my slippers and bathrobe and headed downstairs. The kids were already in the corner playing with dragons and knights, too busy to see me walk in. With a little smile, I walked to the kitchen where I could hear Andy muttering around. When I walked in, I was surprised to see Harry too. I kissed both of their cheeks and sat down next to Harry at the kitchen table.

"Thank you." I said quietly as she placed a plate with bacon and eggs in front of me, then doing the same with Harry.

"So, how was it?" Harry asked with his mouth full of eggs.

"Don't eat with your mouth full, Harry James Potter." I chastised him with a grin.

He swallowed before he said. "Sorry." With a sheepish grin. "How did it go?"

"I-" I looked down at my plate. "I bolted."

"What! Why?" Andy asked, putting her cup of tea on the table in astonishment.

I pushed my plate away from me with a sigh. "The night began great. We had fun at dinner, we talked and laughed. When we went to the club, Hermione and I danced before the twins cut it. It was just a night I needed, but then -"

"Then what?" They asked, sitting on the edge of their seats. Waiting in anticipation as they wanted to know what happened.

"Then - then we kissed."

"Finally." Andy beamed, but her smile fell when she saw the sad look on my face. "Gwen, you and George are perfect for each other. You can see the love between you."

"Cedric and I were perfect for each other." I said a bit snippy. "I can't start something up with George, not again."

"Why not?" She asked, placing a hand on mine. Harry looked at me as a puzzle, trying to figure me out.

"Because everyone will think I just used Cedric as a fill in for George. I don't want to disrespect Cedric's memory like that. I had my one true love."

It was silent for a long moment, Harry and Andy were looking at me like I just grew a second head. Andy was the first one to break the silence.

"Nobody would think that, dear. Nobody. And Cedric would want you to move on and be happy."

"I think." Harry started slowly, and I turned to look at him with watering eyes. "I think Ced would be happy for you, that you would find your way back to George. He knew how much George loved you, how he treated you. I think he would love that you would be with someone he trusted."

"You - you don't know that." I cried. "I had my true love! I don't deserve any more." Harry wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held me close.

"If anyone deserve two great loves, it's you Gwen." Andy said soft but stern. "I believe you can have more than one big love. Cedric was one part of your life, your husband, the father of your child. George can be the other, in any way that you want him to be."

"I can't." My voice shook. I pushed myself up from the chair and walked out of the room. I gathered the kids, and we went shopping for the decorations for CJ's birthday party. The kids distracted me that day as they ran around the shops looking for the perfect decorations. They filled up my cart quickly as they just kept throwing things in. But their happy smiles were hard to resist, so I let them.


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I was sitting in my room that night, looking at my wedding picture with Cedric when a knock came from my door.

"Come in." Suspecting Andy or Harry, I was surprised to see Hermione standing there. "Hey." I gave her a little smile that she returned. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"You don't know?" I asked as she settled down next to me.

She shook her head. "No, George won't talk about it."

I breathed in deep and fell on my back, clutching the picture of me and Ced against my chest. "We kissed. And please don't tell me finally or that's great." I quickly added.

"I wasn't going to say that." She said slowly and lowered herself down next to me. We both stared up at the ceiling. "I think it must be confusing for you. Confusing and overwhelming." I tilted my head until I looked at her. "You love Cedric, you'll always love him, and yes, you've been on dates and even had a relationship for a few months, but in your heart, you knew it wasn't going anywhere. That's different with George. You can see a future with him."

"Yeah." I said with a shuddered breath.

"Are you afraid to love him?"

"No." I gave a little shake of my head and looked back up the ceiling. "I don't want to forget about Cedric. I don't want him or anyone to think he was second choice, and I would always find a way back to George."

"He wouldn't think that. I think you're one of the lucky ones."

"How so?"

"You get two loves, two great loves. Cedric was the first chapter of your book, George the second." Her words mimicked Andy's.

"I don't know if I can do it, Hermione."

"You don't have to do it overnight, Gwen. You can take all the time you need. And being with George, it wouldn't let you forget about Cedric, nothing will. Cedric will always be a part of you. I never knew Cedric that well, but I can see him in you and in CJ." She turned the picture in my hands so the both of us were looking at it. "I know, from wherever he is, he's watching over you and CJ."

"Thank you." I clasped my hands around hers.

"For what?"

"For understanding."

Hermione pulled me in a hug, and I cried for a while on her shoulder. After she left, I felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. I placed our wedding picture on my nightstand and my fingers grazed over Ced's face. I sat down at the desk in the corner of my room and as I started to write CJ's birthday invitations. After fifteen minutes I checked off the list.

- Hermione & Fred Granger - Weasley

- Lyra & Odin

- Lee Jordan

- Harry Potter

- Andy & Teddy Tonks - Lupin

- Ron Weasley

- Fleur, Bill & Victoire Weasley

- Bash & Charlie Northon-Weasley

- Molly & Arthur Weasley

I checked the list twice before I pulled the last invitation towards me. I rolled my wedding ring that was hanging around my neck between my fingers as I wrote down the last name.

George Weasley.

Just thinking about him made my heart quicken. Even after the talk with Hermione, I still felt a little guilty, but not as bad as I was before. Baby steps, Gwen. Baby steps. I put the invitations on a small pile and headed downstairs to use Andy's owl.

"Hey, big ol' slugger." I scratched his head. Andy had a large barn owl, if he's spread his wings, he was larger than CJ. "I have a few letters to send, up for the job?"

The owl nibbled my finger softly. I smiled as I tied the letters on his leg. The owl shook his leg, rearranging the letters before he flew up in the night. I leaned on my elbows on the windowsill and looked at the clear sky, filled with stars and a crescent moon. They would all have their letters in the morning. And by tomorrow night, I would know who was coming over. Who isn't mad at me for leaving. Tomorrow, I would know.


OoO


Everyone RSVP'd to CJ's party and now that the time was here, I was a nervous wreck. The boys had chosen a dress for me to wear that made me look like a princess, their words. They chose nice, clean white shirt and black slacks. Andy and I chuckled at the thought the shirts would stay clean for ten minutes tops. It was a beautiful day out, so Andy, Harry and I decided to hold the party outside.

Harry was decorating the trees with dragon streamers as CJ wanted the theme of his party to be all about dragons and Superman, weird combination I know, but I understood it. Andy was setting the large table on the wooden terrace as I put the last finishing touches on CJ's cake. The boys were flying on their brooms, and to our surprise their clothes were still clean. Ten minutes later, the three of us looked around the garden.

"Think that's everything?" Harry asked with a relieved smile.

"I think so. The twins are going to bring the entertainment."

"Let's take a break before the others get here." Andy smiled as she summoned us some drinks. We sat down on the lounge chair and watched the kids throw around a quaffle. Thirty minutes pass before the doorbell rang and the first guest arrived. CJ stopped flying immediately and the quaffle flew over his head. He jumped off the broom and ran inside the house, Teddy and I on his heels.

The scream CJ let out at the sight of his two favourite uncles almost made my ears bleed. Bash scooped him up upside down as he and Charlie walked in the house. Charlie gave me a kiss and a tight hug before picking up Teddy.

"How old did you get, little slugger?"

"I'm four!" He held out four fingers in Bash's face.

"But that's not possible." Bash looked confused. "The last time I saw you, you were only three."

"Yesterday I was three, today I am four. I'm a big boy now."

"Yes, you are." Bash smiled at CJ. Then he glanced to me, and his smile widened. I walked over and he hugged us both tight. "You look really good, little one."

"Thanks, I feel good." I smiled.

"When can we visit you?" CJ asked between us.

"You just came over a few months ago, but you know you can come over anytime you want." He glanced around the house. "So, where's the party."

"In the garden." CJ started wriggling until Bash set him down on the floor. Teddy jumped out of Charlie's arms, and they ran back to the garden.

"You're the first ones here." I said as the three of us followed the kids out.

"Brilliant, then everyone can see we got him the biggest present." Bash grinned as he started to enlarge the present. Charlie rolled his eyes as wrapped an arm around me as we watched Bash struggle to get the present on the table.

The next ones to arrive were Fleur, Bill and Victoire. While I handed out drinks, the three kids were already playing together in the sandbox. Molly, Arthur and Ron came over together. Molly started crying as she pulled me in a bone crushing hug, telling me it was unacceptable I haven't been to the burrow yet, and ordered me to be there next week. After Odin and Lyra arrived, Fred and Hermione came in behind them. After greeting me, Fred pulled me in a hug. I was just about to follow them to the garden when the bell rang again. I turned around and opened the door. Lee and George were standing in front of me. Lee had a happy smile on his face, while George looked nervous, his hair loose as he ran his hands through it. I swear they could hear my heartbeat as I looked to George.

"Hey." I breathed.