Betrayed Percy

Betrayed Percy is a staple of PJO fanfiction and there are too many stories about it. I've personally come to hate this trope, but honestly, it's not a horrible concept. It's just overdone and the worst thing about it is that most stories feel like copies of each other.

First thing to clear up: Percy on his own is not stronger than the gods. People clearly have come to believe that if the gods choose to betray Percy he will come back after a few years and everyone would fear the power of one man. If the gods want to, they would simply turn him into a rabbit or something and the story would come to an end. There's nothing wrong with writing a story along the lines but at least keep it in mind. If you want to write a story which is more in line with canon, it would be a good idea to clarify why the gods aren't simply turning Percy into a weak animal or smiting him.

Now, as I mentioned, the biggest issue here is that a majority of Betrayed stories are basically copies of each other with minor differences. Especially with how Percy gets betrayed in these stories.

The first thing to usually happen is that a new camper arrives all of a sudden and slowly all campers start to follow him around and look up to him. This new camper is usually a child of Zeus or Poseidon. He then turns every other camper against Percy because he is jealous of the fame that Percy has, and manages to somehow convince everyone that Percy didn't achieve any of the things he is credited with. In a lot of stories he has some sort of mind control powers, but in some cases the campers just believe him for no reason.

Then he manages to seduce Annabeth and they make out or more, and at some point he asks Annabeth when she will dump the loser (Percy). Percy, who could see them, suddenly jumps out and rants about all the great things he has done for Annabeth. He would mention that he completed the Twelve Labour Hercules to get Athena's approval for marrying Annabeth and throws the new ring at her. At this point Annabeth either realises how big of a mistake she has made and begs for forgiveness, or tells him she only dated him for fame and he is a loser.

Percy runs from camp after his encounter with Annabeth and Jake (I think there's at least 3 fics with the same name), after which he encounters a powerful being who offers to make Percy his/her champion. Or, he goes to Olympus, begging the gods to kill him. In some cases, he becomes a god, and is invited to the council. In others, he gets Partial Immortality and disappears. People, particularly the Hunt, try to find him but they cannot until Percy stumbles across them and single handedly saves them from some terrible foe. Then it is revealed to everyone that Percy became a vigilante, saving demigods and bringing them to Camp or abused girls to the Hunt. The initial story usually ends with one (or all) the following tropes getting used: Chaos, Champion of Hestia, Champion of some other god or Primordial, Adopted Son of Hestia or Hera, Werewolf Percy and Guardian of the Hunt (I must've missed some tropes there).

If I say there are 10 stories that follow this exact format, I'm underestimating.

There's another format. For some reason, Percy gets accused of being Gaea's spy, after everything he does and people don't believe him. Except for a few of them. Apollo being the god of truth often knows he wasn't a traitor. In Percabeth stories, Annabeth believes, in Pertemis stories, Artemis believes in him and… you get the general idea. Other than the future love of Percy's life, Thalia and Nico often show faith in him. Since he is found to be a traitor, Percy then gets sentenced to a life in Tartarus. There Tartarus himself, or some other Primordial, or even Chaos comes to grant him power and a way back to take revenge. But first, Percy has to either become some sort of warlord in Tartarus, or unite the Titans or some other task. In the Pit, he will often find some friends of his that died in the wars. Zoë, Bianca or Luke in some cases. For some reason they end up in Tartarus until Percy saves them and then they join him on his adventures in Tartarus.

The issues with all these stories.

First up, if there are demigods of Zeus or Poseidon (or Hades) roaming around that are Percy's age, it's unlikely that they weren't found before the wars ended. If the new demigod is a son of Zeus, it is sometimes understandable why Zeus would prefer him to be seen as a hero. But still the whole concept is unbelievable. Demigods aren't nearly as stupid to trust a single witness, whom they barely know, over someone they've known to be trustworthy for years. Especially considering the new guy is usually a weak idiot who can't do anything, but brags about his strength as if he were Hercules. And frankly, the mind control powers just feel like a stupid excuse to create a fake premise. If you really want to make a betrayed by camp story, then at least make the premise logical.

What's more is that Poseidon too turns on Percy. Why would he do that? Even if he has another son, why would he show favour to a child who has done nothing of note, over the one that has so many titles under his belt and brought so much pride to him? Unless Percy has done something that Poseidon really disapproves of, or this unknown kid is someone special (something to work with), he will prefer to be on better terms with the more capable child. Both emotionally and rationally, siding with Percy isn't just the better choice, it is the default choice for Poseidon.

All this idiocy is usually done to mould Percy into an emotionally broken, scarred hero who was betrayed by those closest to him. A character I've rarely ever liked to be honest. Even worse are stories where everybody that isn't particularly close to Percy takes his side. Clarisse, Chris (they aren't distant, but still), Athena, Hera, Ares. Zeus. It's like writers think it is more effective storytelling if people that should hate a person end up liking him while those close to him betray him. I can only see this happening in crackfics. If Poseidon doesn't stick with his children, then there is no way Zeus, Hades or Hera will, unless they plan to manipulate Percy, which could be an interesting twist.

The Labours of Hercules part is way too overdone. Realistically, Percy has already completed some of them, and much more impressive feats. If Athena does not approve of Percy's relationship as he is, completing the labours is not going to make her accept him. In some stories, Athena uses the labours as a distraction for Percy while she secretly plots to break up Percy and Annabeth. That is certainly a better, more believable approach that could be recommended over Athena actually looking for approval. Although it might be nice if you try to be creative and set up your own quests for Percy instead of Labours of Hercules which has gotten old.

The last issue is that, if Percy was betrayed by so many people so quickly, he would immediately understand that something is wrong. He knows the Greek world well enough to think that some trick is involved. In a lot of stories, Percy just comes off as some pathetic jerk. He's not trying to figure anything out, flaunts his achievements, and seems whiny and jealous over the attention that the new kid gets.

If you really want to write a Betrayal story, be a little creative since the trope has become pretty much exhausted at this point. Don't be intent on overdramatising the story; you will avoid most of the cliches automatically if you are trying to make sense.


I wanted to make this another section, but I will add that Percy running away because he was cheated, or because Annabeth dumped him, or died is also an overdone plot point. Personally, I feel Percy isn't the sort of person who would go completely off the grid in the situation. Sure, he might try to find someplace else if he was completely betrayed, but completely abandoning everyone over just one girl is a little too far-fetched. I'm not against this, but, again, it's overdone, and rarely adds anything other than a lengthy angst fest.


Guardian of the Hunt

Guardian of the Hunt is a trope that is mostly, though not necessarily, used in Pertemis fics. There's many Guardian of the Hunt stories out there, most of which follow up a Betrayed Percy fic.

A few things to understand about the Hunt. The Hunt is not some sort of military unit under the command of Olympus. It is bound to Artemis herself. As such, the Hunt itself could be considered sorts of "guardians of Artemis". The Guardian of the Hunt as a post is pretty stupid on its own. If Percy is to have a Guardian post, he either would be appointed by Artemis herself, or he would be "The Guardian of Artemis", not the whole Hunt, if Zeus insists. It's honestly a better concept.

Next, the Hunters are bigots, yes, but they aren't idiots. At least, not all of them. In many stories, despite Percy proving to not only be a good man, but incredibly powerful as well, they don't seem to register the fact. They genuinely seem to think he is a weakling when they know full well that he is stronger than all of them. They often treat him as weak even if he is a god. Realistically, they would at least grow some respect for him over time, seeing his power and perseverance.

Lastly, in the myths, various men have travelled with the Hunt. Or more specifically Artemis. Orion and Hippolytus are the most known because their stories are significant, and because Artemis herself supposedly liked them. But they weren't the only ones. I believe there are at least three more men that at some point travelled with Artemis in the myths.

The idea of placing Percy into the Hunt isn't that bad, to be honest. The problem usually is that half of them are filled with needless torture that occurs in almost the same way. First, Zeus, for whatever reason, forces Percy to become the Guardian of the Hunt, a previously unknown position. Artemis gets mad at this, because Percy is a vile man who would flirt with her twelve year old hunters! Then, Artemis promises to make Percy's life difficult. She goes to her hunters, who all get mad at the prospect of a despicable male joining the Hunt. Then Artemis grins an evil grin and says "We can prank him". Which means torture him to an inch of his life. There's always a little girl, usually Chloe, who Percy gets to open up to him, something no hunter, even Artemis herself, manage to do. Or, he rescues her on request of her godly parent from her abusive uncle/stepfather. This little girl is Percy's best friend for the time being other than Thalia in most stories.

At some point Percy gets fed up of the torture he goes through, and lashes out at the Hunt. He rants about how his life is a living hell, how everyone betrayed him, how his girlfriend cheated on him, and then says he will never come back again because of how poorly the Hunt treated him. Such a whiny and pathetic kid. After all this, Artemis realising that the love of her life is upset with her, tries to find him. Once he is found, all of them apologise for their behaviour and declare him "big brother", even though most of them are older than Percy's maternal forefathers too far down the line. Soon, Percy and Artemis get together, while the Hunt giggles with excitement over their mistress finding happiness. The end.

While I personally do not like the trope, I would give some of my ideas to make the most of it.

To me, the better Guardian stories are the ones where Artemis herself offers Percy the post. They flow much better in my opinion. To the very least, it makes sense if Artemis likes Percy, and seems much better for romance down the line.

Try to make the Hunt a place with real characters. Having all of them be one-dimensional bigots who hate men unanimously is uninteresting. Make it a vibrant place with all sorts of girls. Some who hate men, some who are more moderate, even some that don't hate men at all.

If you plan to make the story truly romantic, don't make Artemis abuse Percy physically. At least not a lot. Especially don't make the relationship itself abusive, just because you find it cute.

Now that we are on the topic, I'm actually a little surprised that people don't try darker Guardian stories. Stories where Artemis manipulates Percy and takes advantage of his love for her. Considering that most stories come off as exactly this, it is weird that no one ever tried to consciously make Artemis manipulative. It is certainly a new twist that goes really well with the Abused Guardian trope. Another twist is Percy breaking completely and becoming a willing slave after he is tortured by the Hunt. It could make an interesting story as well, even though it's not exactly to my taste.


Training

Not a cliche here, but training in fanfics is something which I think is worth talking about.

Too many people write training scenes inspired by video games that are either meaningless, or longer than necessary. The thing to understand about video game training levels is that, they are meant to introduce you to the core mechanics of the games. It makes some sense to train the player in an environment that isn't challenging. Once you've played the game, the training parts actually become annoying since you already understand everything and they are incredibly mundane otherwise. The only reason people like training levels is if it was designed to be a part of the game.

In stories, the reader doesn't need a lot of the details of training. Longer training sections should only be used if they are also contributing to other aspects. Character development, plot progression, worldbuilding or providing well-written action. If the training isn't meant to do any of that, then keep them short, preferably just skim through them.