AUTHOR'S NOTE:
This chapter will have a tiny bit of Taylor Swift again. This one will have lyrics from False God.
I hope you guys like it! I have more coming, I've been writing a lot and will probably post more chapters soon.
Harry had owled Hermione to come over for dinner with Ginny, Ron and him. He claimed that Ron had been working on himself and truly moving on. This was a chance for them all to be friends again, be how they used to be. Hermione wanted to reconnect and fix old wounds, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to be how she was. She was growing, and different people had watered her and she didn't feel like she remained the same blossom. She had also grown accustomed to her solitude. She saw Ginny and Pansy every so often, and she worked and made idle chat with her coworkers. Other than that she hasn't really spent much time with anyone, other than Draco.
She still felt a pang from the loss of his company. He engaged her and she missed their playfulness. She replayed the scene of their fight often in her head, picking it apart for clues on what went wrong. When the music had stopped. They were ok, they had such a good time together the night before and the morning of. Her logical brain struggled to come up with a straightforward reasoning for Draco's outburst. But then again, she had let her emotions rule her in the moment. She had taken the knife that was stabbed into him, wiped the blood off and tended to his wounds, and drove it back in to him while looking into his eyes. The guilt of her words hung over her head the days following the incident. She never liked to be wrong but she had admitted it to herself. She had let her head runaway from her shoulders and was out of line, but he had crossed it too. Except, knowing him, he probably would not be admitting his mistake. She could wager that he is seething, blaming it all on Hermione. He's probably sulking somewhere in his apartment or his cold manor, drowning in fire whiskey. Hermione refused to wallow like she imagined him to be doing. And so she gave herself an allotted period of time to have a dignified wallowing, and then she'd be done.
And that was how Pansy came in the picture. She had just been over three nights ago, watching a muggle movie with her. She had asked her to come over that Saturday night, after Draco. Hermione cleaned her whole house to distract herself, desperate to get rid of traces of him. She washed her sheets until peppermint and bergamot were lost. She almost threw his shirt in the fireplace but after a long time staring at the crumpled heap in her hands, she stowed it away deep in her closet. She couldn't bring herself to do it. That night, Pansy passed through her fireplace. The two of them were wrapped up in her bed as they ate popcorn and watched Pride and Prejudice, a movie inspired by her favourite author's book. Pansy had been open to learning about muggle culture and actually enjoyed some of them. It had been their monthly ritual to watch a new one. She could tell that Pansy sensed something was wrong with Hermione and Malfoy but she had not pressed unless Hermione talked about it first. She made occasionally jokes about the muggle movie but it felt lighthearted and fun. A true girl's night which Hermione had not experienced a lot growing up.
And now, this dinner coming up was making her anxious. It could feel good like her night with Pansy or it could be absolute disaster and it was making her anxious. She took comfort in the fact that Ginny knew about Malfoy and she wouldn't feel so strange and secretive around all her best friends. If Ginny was there, she wouldn't feel like she was lying to everyone in the room.
In the spirit of new beginnings, Ron had come over to her home to pick her up. He came via Floo, and brought her bluebells, a symbol of humility. Although, Hermione doubted he knew that. She thanked him, pulled out a vase and displayed them on the coffee table. Ron extended out his arm and they proceeded to Grimauld Place.
Harry had spruced up the place a bit, she assumed with Ginny's help. He would never have been this creative. The atmosphere felt lighter, and less like the war was hanging over their heads. The walls were repainted to look less bleak, and the Black family tree was no longer plastered on the wall. There were pictures lining the hallway. Ron and him were playing quidditch in one, there was one with Ginny and Harry laughing. There was also one of Sirius. Her heart ached lightly at the sight of his smile, it broke her heart how fast he was taken from Harry's life. She looked to the next one and found a picture of the trio. It was back in Hogwarts, Hermione's wild hair was flying in the wind. Ron looked awkward as ever, and Harry had a grin plastered on his face. There were students loitering around in the background, but in the distance, one caught her eye. Draco. His blonde hair stuck out to her, he was just leaning against a wall, books in hand. She smiled and lightly touched the frame. She probably would have stayed there for a few minutes had Kreacher not lurked past her muttering obscenities, but Hermione ignored them and tried to be good to him.
"Hey, Mione," Harry went in for an embrace. "It's good to see you, we've missed you."
Ron sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, "yeah, nice to have you back, Mione."
Ginny opened up a bottle of white wine and passed it to them while Harry made himself busy by setting up the table.
They talked all through out dinner, telling stories and catching up. Hermione felt relieved, her anxiety had lifted. Ginny was elated about being signed with the Holyhead Harpies and Harry voiced his support. They were all gonna miss her as she was going to be in and out of Britain quite often. They planned on a get together before she leaves to which Ginny revealed her desire to invite Pansy. Ron and Harry had not know that they were all friends so Hermione and Ginny had to explain how they all met and how close they were all now. The boys reluctantly agreed, but decided to invite Neville and a few other friends as well. It was almost going to be a reunion. Ron had even joked saying,
"What's next, we'll invite Malfoy?" He sniggered as he said it and Hermione and Ginny gave each other a knowing look.
This look despite only lasting seconds, was apparently not lost to Harry. This was surprising as he used to be thick as a doorknob but he had found Hermione before she was set to leave.
"Hermione," he approached.
"Hey, Harry. Thanks again for dinner it was very nice. Just what I needed," she smiled. They had made shepherd's pie with some pumpkin tarts for dessert. It was delicious comfort food and a marvel that the two of them had managed it.
"Uh, yeah. I'm glad you liked it. We actually had Molly over to help us make some of the stuff cause we didn't want it to be a massive flop," he laughed. Hermione laughed back. That made more sense, she couldn't believe she expected the two of them to pull together a dinner.
"But anyways, I know that I haven't been the most available friend to you recently and I just want to fix that. I want you to feel like you can still come to me with things that are bugging you," he looked at her knowingly, "even if you think I would disapprove."
"Did Ginny say something?" Hermione asked worriedly.
"No, no she's only said you've been a little sad lately, and that it was about someone you've met,"
"I just, I saw the way you looked at each other at dinner earlier. I don't wanna pry, Mione. Really, I just want to be there for you. I know you've also been lonely since the breakup, I hadn't seen much of you and that's my fault. I'm sorry I focused my support on Ron. I know you're tougher than him but you still need us to show you we're there for you."
He seemed genuine and apologetic. Hermione squeezed his hand and thanked him. Ron then walked over, and escorted her to the fireplace and escorted her home. She thought she had felt her wards come off mid-Floo but maybe it was just Ron's upcoming arrival to her home that was triggering it.
When they stepped out of the green flames, she looked around and nothing seemed out of place and no one seemed to be there save the two of them.
"Something wrong, Mione?" The redhead asked.
"No, no, I think my wards were just malfunctioning. I better recast them," she said.
"Oh, do you want me to help? Or to stay in case there's someone here."
"Really, Ron, I'm sure I can defend myself just fine," she joked.
Ron gave out a small laugh, "you're probably right. Ok well, I'll get going. Thanks again for coming, it really was nice seeing you. I've missed you." He went in for a hug and Hermione returned it. It felt good having him as a friend again, it was all they were ever meant to be.
As Ron stepped into the fireplace and out of sight, Hermione set to work on her wards. As she was casting a spell, a slight movement caught the corner of her eye. She surveyed the area, wand at the ready but couldn't find anything. Even her charms weren't detecting anything, until. Peppermint.
"You can come out now," she sighed. She had a perfectly good night and she had a feeling it was about to turn into a screaming match.
He took a couple seconds before he let down his disillusionment charm. She looked into his mercurial eyes, guarded but a hint of hurt couldn't help but peek out. He averted his eyes from her gaze and stared daggers at the blue bells instead.
"Getting chummy with Weasley again?" He scoffed. "Have fun on your night out? Was it all you expected, all cuddly and bland? Did you miss him too?"
His tone was mocking. She could sense how his words were tainted with jealousy and she wondered where he got the audacity to show up to her place uninvited, and eavesdrop on her and Ron.
"You don't care, remember? You're also trespassing, Malfoy." She fumed.
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't care, Granger. I came here to apologize, only to be socked in the face by the scene of you and Weasley," he hissed. "Just because we had one argument you think you can go galavanting off to most insipid excuse of a wizard you can find?"
He grabbed her face, a little forcefully, "you said you were mine, Hermione. Your words." he whispered in her ear, "mine."
Alarms rang in her brain screaming at her to get out of this situation. She would have listened had it been anyone else but tingles went down her spine. Her heart started pounding faster in her chest, and her stomach was doing backflips. Not to mention, arousal crept down to her core when he had called her mine.
"You can't just say that, Draco. We said hurtful things to each other, we're not ok."
"I don't do this, Hermione. I've spent a lot of time thinking about the other night and I'm sorry. I fucked up. I'm fucked up," he breathed out.
Was she supposed to feel special that he's apologizing to her? That because he's said sorry for once in his life it would be ok? She pushed him away, "One apology doesn't make it ok. We need to talk about this. If we are continue whatever this is. I don't have the energy to work on it by myself. You probably need a bloody shrink."
He looked confused but she didn't feel like explaining what a shrink was. "So let's do it. I want to, for you. I can't remember wanting anything or anyone this much. You consume me, Granger. You're in my head and I can't get you out. I've tried. I'm sorry I've fucked it up."
"The world doesn't just roll over and move on because you said you're sorry. Yes, your words stung. But it hurt more cause I felt for a second that it was genuine. That night, I found peace with you around," she faltered "and you- you ruined it."
"I feel at peace with you too. I want you around Granger." his voice had softened. "Please."
"Do you? I distinctly remember you yelling at me saying this is not what you wanted," she had started to lightly sob and she hated herself for it. She didn't want to seem weak or pitiful in front of him.
His expression faltered, softened at the sight of her tears. "I'm sorry, Granger. Please, let me show you I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never want to again,"
"I've spent the time we've been apart thinking about what happened. I-" his cheeks suddenly tinted pink, "I felt anxious. My brain started freaking out. You felt like someone to me, someone that matters, and that scared the hell out of me. Everyone who's ever mattered has gotten hurt. I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry I did."
He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his embrace. She felt her anger start to melt away at his touch, but didn't know what to do. She didn't want him to think he can just get away with it by apologizing and she'd take him back. They weren't even dating but it felt like they had broken up and he was here begging to be hers again.
He kissed the top of her head and then the bridge of her nose, he kissed her tears away and finally he planted a soft kiss on her lips. She could taste the saltiness of her tears lingering on his lips as she opened up to him. If they shouldn't be doing this, if she's meant to stay away from him, then why. Why does it feel right. Why does it feel good. She shouldn't give in so easily. She shouldn't. But God, did she want to.
Religion's in your lips
Even if it's a false god
"Screw it," she whispered.
She snaked her fingers up his neck and into his platinum locks. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close. His hands gently cupping the small of her back, wrinkling her shirt. Their lips never wavered from finding each other, even if inside, they both questioned everything.
The altar is my hips
Even if it's a false god
We'd still worship this love
The two of them tumbled backwards into her bedroom. They kissed slowly the whole time, as if they were finding each other again. His tongue danced with hers, and it found it's way to the sensitive spot under her jaw. He nipped and sucked on it, creating new marks to replace the ones that had faded. She was his. Draco's. And he was hers. Mine. Her hands unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off of him. She rubbed her hands on hisbiceps and ran her fingertips through his back, feeling the scars there. She moved to face his back and planted gentle kisses along each silver scar. Everything about him was so silver, like the moon itself dipped its hand into his creation. She sighed against his pale skin and peppered kisses along the back of his neck, down to his shoulders. She took her time kissing him. And he took his time with her. Touch after touch, and a thousand kisses stamped on each of them, they collided together. Moans, and pants, and whispers filled the air, and ecstasy filled Hermione. Bergamot and Peppermint. She sighed, she finally understood the appeal of drugs, of intoxication. She had found hers. Her amortentia.
