A/N: This chapter took way too long for me to write! But hopefully you all enjoy it!
Content warning: Talks of terminating pregnancy, so please proceed with caution.
Chapter 53
Undisclosed Location – 6 Days Ago – Day 82
Screaming, crying, wailing; the cave shakes with a deep rumbling as the walls decay around the villain's clenching fingertips. Spinner watches from the entrance of the tunnel with widening eyes as the man that he's come to respect as his leader hunches over on his knees with strained shouts. Ever since their retreat from the battle, Shigaraki has been left utterly inconsolable.
Twice was arguably everyone's favorite member of the League. He was genuine, caring, and loyal. He made each member feel as though they were special in his eyes. With Twice around, they were a found family; a chosen group of people they enjoyed being with. His infectious laughter, his dizzying excitable movement, and his carefree banter made him entertaining to be around. Though there were days where Spinner wanted to be surrounded with silence, he still felt like he belonged when he was around Twice.
Shigaraki may not have been the best at showing how much he cared for the members of his League, but he had his moments like when he took revenge on the Shie Hassaikai, or treated them to sushi with the money from the Meta Liberation Army. And now it is clearly evident just how much Twice and the others meant to him—his feelings went beyond what their presence and Quirk could offer the League.
His echoing cries and inability to control his destruction worry the reptilian man, as Shigaraki rapidly descends into a maddening rage due to the loss of four members of the League.
Twice so heinously struck down by the violent and desperate actions of a man who was supposed to be a hero.
Gigantomachia apprehended by the heroes before his rampage could ensure their victory.
Mr. Compress, who sacrificed his freedom for the freedom of the League.
Asami…
Spinner's eyes almost instinctually turn from Shigaraki's rageful cries and onto the patchwork villain who sits in the corner of the cave with the thought of her penetrating his skull. He watches as the villain taps his boot anxiously against the stone floor, his eyes are hidden behind his natural white hair, his shaking fingers interlace as scars grow down what was left of his healthy skin. The skin around his cheeks has also burned away and new wounds paint his face.
Spinner was not with the others when Twice's clone informed Compress and Toga that Asami was working with the heroes in his dying breath. When they informed him of this betrayal, Spinner first believed it was a silly joke the prankster was playing. But when they picked up Dabi from the crumbling building and saw the look in his eyes, it was undeniable that she was no longer with them.
The information makes Spinner sick to his stomach as he thinks of all the moments that he shared with her. All of the laughs, the stories they shared with one another, how she aided in building his reputation amongst those with heteromorphic Quirks made him feel like she truly understood him. It was all a lie to suck information out of them and feed to the heroes. Was she working for them the entire time? Was the party they had the night before a ploy to get them drunk and inebriated from fighting effectively?
Spinner doesn't know how to feel with this information. Naturally, he feels betrayed and angry. But part of him doesn't recognize what else he is feeling. He trusted her, and he can't imagine her doing this. He wants to believe that Twice was mistaken. He feels hopeless with this information, and as he looks onto the white-haired villain, he can't even imagine what Dabi must be feeling.
Ever since the battle when Dabi revealed his identity to the world, the villain has been slowly descending from his manic episode and has since entered a state of detachment. He's anxious, with nervous and jittery movements of his hands and feet, but there is a nothingness in his eyes that appears as though he's died inside, and now all that's left of him is a hallow husk of what he used to be.
His woeful wails for them to return to the crumbling building from which they retrieved him still bounce around in Spinner's head as he looks onto the villain with a sidelong glance. When he heard Dabi gleefully announce to Endeavor that he took the life of the woman he once loved, Spinner felt his heart sink in his chest as a wild fear shook him to his core. Dabi ended her life with his flames because of her betrayal, and now there is nothing left of him.
Spinner could see it in Dabi's eyes on the field that he wanted to die by the fire of Endeavor. He yearned for the flames of the hero to envelop him… maybe as a punishment for what he had done to her, but the Number One Hero wasn't strong enough to face the villain once his identity was revealed, and now, Dabi is left living with the reality of taking away the only thing he truly had.
Spinner isn't sure where this leaves the League: Toga is unable to smile as she used to and her carefree spirit has been shattered, Shigaraki is consumed by rage at his crumbling vision for his future and dwindling numbers, and Dabi… Spinner glances at the man once more. Dabi has lost himself completely.
He feels utterly useless as he watches the family he once adored falling apart at the seams. He doesn't know what to do, or what to say. He wants them to return to what they were, but he knows that with this loss, there is no way back.
Spinner turns his head back to the darkness of the cave where Shigaraki's wails and destruction can be heard echoing back to them. They are lost, and broken, and from here on, what else is there?
Present Day – Day 88
Asami sits up in her hospital bed, idly playing with stray strands of her hair. Her locks have been burned to just below her chin, and it will be shorter when she gets her hands on a pair of scissors to cut off the burned edges. She frowns as she twists the short piece around her finger and wonders what she looks like with hair this short. She's made a point to never cut her hair beyond trims since Touya told her that he liked her hair long.
She shuts her eyes tightly as the memory of him creeps into her mind and wills his face away with all of her might.
Without thinking and almost on instinct, she places her palm on her stomach. The OBGYN standing in the room is acting like a real bitch and Asami's tuned her out for the most part. She can't really blame her, seeing as how they are living in the aftermath of a war, and she's tasked with explaining to some stupid girl how babies are made when you're not careful.
Asami did the math and the only time that she could imagine something like this happening was on their birthday. That night on the balcony, Dabi didn't wear a condom, and she wasn't on the pill long enough for it to be effective. He pulled out, but the OBGYN reminded her—very snidely—that it's not an effective form of prevention.
She's brought back to all the nights she was drinking and smoking and it's a damn miracle this thing is still doing alright in there. She feels so disconnected from the idea of being pregnant because she can't stop thinking about Hawks and how shitty she feels.
There was a curious look on his face when the doctor informed her about the pregnancy. He wasn't angry with her or jealous of Dabi for winning some game they were playing. He was sad, maybe even disappointed at the information. She isn't quite sure what is going on in his head, and since he never came back that night, she didn't have a chance to ask him.
The OBGYN continues to inform Asami that she has the option to terminate the pregnancy, so much so that she believes the doctor is practically recommending it. She can't really blame her for that either; Japan is in complete disrepair in the wake of Shigaraki and the League. The last thing Asami should be doing is bringing a child into this hellscape that's left. There is little access to the prescriptions and healthcare that she would need to safely deliver a child, and the last thing doctors need now are to deal with a delivery. The OBGYN doesn't say any of this to Asami, but it's heavily implied in her tone.
Asami glances out the window with the view of a building obstructing the city. She's heard of the destruction the villains left in their war; she's seen it first hand in Deika when Shigaraki leveled the city and she's grateful that she doesn't have to see a view of it plainly staring her in the face.
She gave the heroes everything she was able to find to win the war and ensure the students stayed out of the fight, but they still fought alongside the heroes and Asami can't help but feel sick to her stomach with the thought. The image of Tokoyami's face when Hawks begged him to fly her from the battle is stained in her mind forever. The boy was just a young kid in his first year of hero school; he shouldn't have been there. He shouldn't have had to make the decisions that he had to.
As the hours pass and Asami is left on her own, she can't help spiral in her own mind with thoughts and images of the war. She can feel the blue flames heating her skin and raising her temperature as a hot sweat kissed her forehead. She can hear Twice's cries bouncing around in her head as he promises to join Toga and the others. She can see Dabi's face as the wicked smile crept up against his incisions to convey the murderous glee he was feeling as he toyed with Hawks' life.
She was so helpless that day, and had she had any better control over her Quirk, she could have stopped Dabi and Twice would have still been here. She thinks about how she begged Dabi to leave with her. Had he agreed, they would be headed towards the countryside to live out some life. Maybe they would have been caught eventually and Asami would probably be arrested for harboring a fugitive, but there was still that slim chance that they could have gotten away. She unconsciously touches her stomach below her bellybutton, wondering how long it would have taken for her to find out about this had the escaped together.
Asami is detached and quiet, keeping her eyes fixated on her torched hair as she tries to keep her mind anywhere but on the responsibility that she is carrying. She didn't want this. She didn't want children—
"I want your babies."
Asami shuts her eyes at the memory, trying to push back any haunting recollection of Dabi and the life she had with him. She was happy, so fucking happy with him. Their last night together was filled with so many laughs and smiles. She looked at him in their bed and was excited for where their relationship was heading. She was so focused on her false sense of reality, that she completely forgot about the heroes on the horizon.
It seems like that was a lifetime ago.
The OBGYN finally figures that her words are falling on deaf ears, and she digs into her coat and pulls out a small tin pack with a single pill inside. She places the pill on the tray next to Asami's bed, followed by a glass of water.
Asami stops playing with her hair, dropping the strands and turning her gaze to the single pill. It was so small. How could something so small change the course of her life like this?
"You have a choice," the doctor continues, "but make sure it's the best one, all things considered."
"Who the fuck would choose this?" Dabi's growl itches at the back of her head as she stares intently at the pill.
The doctor nods once she's said her peace and turns from Asami. Once the door clicks closed, Asami's bandaged hand reaches out for the tin pack with the pill securely placed behind the foil. Her heart is beating wildly in her chest as her hands shake with the decision that they hold.
Asami never wanted children for one clear reason: her parents. Her mother left her at a young age, and she would've been better off if her father did the same. She never thought that she could be a better parent than her own because she wanted to focus on her career. Maybe it was selfish, or maybe it was the right thing to do, but she promised herself to never do to a child what her mother and father did to her.
And now here she is, sitting in a hospital with the pill in her hand looking out at a city not fit for a child with a villain father hiding from her and the heroes.
She looks at the vase of flowers Natsuo and Fuyumi left with the card that wishes her a speedy recovery. They must have visited her while she was sleeping, and she wished she was able to see them and embrace them in a tight hug. She misses them so much and with everything going on, she could use a friend. She wonders what they would say to her in this moment; the child is Touya's and subsequently their kin as well. Would they want her to have the child, or would they understand her situation?
Tears build up in Asami's eyes as she turns her gaze from the flowers and back to the pill. Her fingers shake and after a moment of fidgeting with the packet, the cracking sound of her nail penetrating the foil cries out in the room as if it were a siren to alert the entire ward of what she is doing.
Asami's throat tightens shut and she honestly doesn't think she'll even be able to swallow this damn thing with the panic wracking through her body.
She shuts her eyes, wondering what Touya will do when he finds out.
Hawks stands stiffly for a moment before taking the long-awaited step into the apartment. Her things are covered in a layer of dust and debris that entered the flat through the shattered windows. For the most part, her belongings have been left undisturbed, but his eyes stop scanning the home when they land on the puddle of grey goo at the center of her entryway.
Hawks releases an unsteady breath as he looks down on the pile of liquid that is left of her clone—of Twice. A heaviness crushes down on his chest once more as he relives that moment over and over again. He can still hear the helpless cries of the villain as he begs to save his friends.
After a moment of being frozen before the mud, Hawks finally kneels down and reaches for the glimmering neckless in the mess. His fingers pinch at the chair as he lifts it to his face to examine the small feather encased in glass.
He places the pendant in the palm of his hand as he examines it with burning eyes. He practically forgets that he is not alone when he hears the sound of Best Jeanist shift behind him.
Hawks pulls out his phone and types, "I gave her this just before the Billboard Charts. I told her it was my way of being with her always." The phone gives no indication into how terrible Hawks feels as he holds the pendant once more. "Dabi took it from her."
Best Jeanist moves to place his hand on Hawks' shoulder, but the young hero lifts himself back to his feet, shoving the necklace into his pant pocket.
Dabi knew when he kidnapped Asami just how much she meant to Hawks. He knew that the hero would do anything to make sure she was safely returned to him. Hawks was in the palm of his hand, while Asami was in the other.
"How long had you known about us?" Hawks types to Jeanist as he keeps his eyes on the red cardigan that he bought her when they were secretly together. He liked it when she wore red because it made him feel like she was wearing the color for him. It represented his wings, and after telling her that it was his favorite color, he relished in the moments that she would wear it for him.
"I knew the entire time," the blonde informs Hawks with a flat tone.
Hawks stiffens his shoulders at the hero's nonchalant response. Hawks looks down at his phone as he types, "The entire time?" he questions.
Best Jeanist inhales deeply as he digs his hands in the pockets of his jeans, pacing the room with slow strides. "I had my speculations when she was transferred from your agency to Endeavor's; one does not let talent like that go so eagerly. She was the reason you rose so quickly in the ranks with such a pristine reputation. I figured there must have been a fallout between the two of you, however, when I saw you two at the Hero's Gala I realized that her leaving was not a decision either of you made, and figured the Commission learned of your relationship and put a stop to it."
"How did you know? We were careful at the Gala."
Best Jeanist scoffs at Hawks' foolishness and smiles. "You were not careful," he teases him. "You two were painfully obvious." Hawks blinks as he turns to him for an explanation and Jeanist smiles warmly at him. "It's the way that she looks at you," he clarifies. "The way her eyes examine every part of your face with a content smile on her lips. It was obvious."
Hawks frowns as he looks down at the body-shaped pile of mud on the floor.
"This doesn't change anything between the two of you," Jeanist tells him, seeing the sadness in his eyes. Hawks scoffs with a huff of air. "You need to communicate with her," he begins as Hawks grabs for the phone. "Tell her what you're feeling."
"I did," Hawks types as the robotic voice speaks. "She chose him."
"And then she saved you," he reminds him. "She jumped into the flames to save you. A conversation needs to be had after that." Jeanist sees that Hawks is unconvinced and he continues, "The love that she held for you doesn't go away so easily. She still loves you—she wouldn't have risked her life if she didn't."
"That doesn't mean that she wants me around," Hawks counters. "She just didn't want to see me die."
"She made a choice in that moment to protect you. With that choice came the reality that she couldn't run away with Dabi." Hawks looks unconvinced and Best Jeanist continues. "Imagine the mental abuse Asami has been through," he paints the picture for him. "She was kidnapped and broken down by the villain who knew her weaknesses. She was taken against her will and entrapped in a situation where Dabi was able to manipulate her into seeing him in a sympathetic light." Hawks looks up at Jeanist as he continues. "I understand she was close with the Todoroki family at a young age. But despite what he may have been through in his childhood, Dabi is still a villain that needs to answer for his crimes. Her history with him and his abuse when he was under the Todoroki family does not excuse his behavior. The boy from her childhood is not the same person as the villain he is today."
Hawks looks away from Best Jeanist, unsure if Asami will be able to make the distinction between the two. Hawks has done everything in his power to make sure he doesn't become the man that his father was, and in return, so has Dabi. The abuse they both faced as children set them on completely different paths, and Hawks can't imagine being anything like what he was as a child. His whole identity now is a persona he created to shove back that scared little boy.
"Asami is probably feeling alienated right now since she's been separated from Dabi and the others, but she is responsible for the decisions that she made," he says looking down at the young hero. "Furthermore, it is her decision with what she chooses to do with the child. Regardless of what she decides, you need to consider your own life, Keigo." Best Jeanist refers to him by his name and he looks up at the hero with heavy eyes. "It's clear that you still love her, and you want a life with her. But if that's the case, you must consider what that means for your relationship moving forward if she chooses to keep the child. Don't allow your emotions to dictate this moment."
Hawks turns his gaze from the red cardigan to the windows of her apartment as he looks onto the destruction left by the villains. He tries to distance his emotions from his decision in moving forward. He decided to forfeit his treatment in order to heal her, not because he expected anything from her, but because he believed it the right thing to do. It was logical in his mind to save her at the expense of his career as a hero.
He considers his life now; the child is not his, nor would she expect him to step up as its father should she choose to keep the child. He knows that she is probably feeling alone in this moment, and it didn't help his leaving in that moment, but he didn't know what else to do. Now, with a clear mind he's able to think about what he wants moving forward.
His eyes are back on the cardigan as he thinks of all their moments together since she first walked into his office. A soft smile touches his lips at the memory as he reaches for the red fabric and pulls it off of the couch.
He wants to be a hero. He's always wanted to be a hero. Not the type that the Commission has turned him into, but one that saves people. He just wonders if he will be able to get back to that after everything he's done.
Hours pass and Asami is woken up by the sound of two people speaking and attending to her fluids. She keeps her eyes shut, not really having the energy to play a game of a million questions on how she's feeling since she doesn't even know how to answer that anymore. She's numb and she doesn't know how to convey that without them worrying about her.
"She's looking a lot better," she hears one of the attendants speak with a soft tone.
"Tsk, that's because she's getting treatment from Recovery Girl," another voice returns with an unpleasant tone.
Asami quiets her breathing and listens in to the two women gossiping as they believe her to be sleeping.
"I thought Recovery Girl was reserving her Quirk for ranking heroes," the initial woman asks. "She's not ranking right? I don't recognize her," the shuffling of paper is heard as she looks at Asami's chart.
"She's not even a hero," the other girl states. "She's a civilian."
"Then how is she here and getting treatment?"
"I heard the healers mentioning that Hawks gave up his treatment so she could get it instead," she whispers the gossip and Asami stiffens at her comment. Asami was under the impression that everyone was receiving Recovery Girl's healing, but this…
"Isn't she the girl from the video?" the nicer of the two questions as she glances down at Asami's wounds. Asami's not sure what video she is talking about, but keeps her ears fixated on their conversation.
"Yeah," the rude girl turns her nose upwards to Asami. "I guess it's his way of making up for using her as a human shield," she grumbles as she changes one of the I.V. bags while Asami tries her best to keep her eyes shut and her body from jolting upwards to demand what these girls are talking about.
"What if she ran out in front of him," the other questions. "Wouldn't that be romantic?" she finds herself swooning at the idea.
She scoffs at her coworker, "Romantic" she chides, "There's nothing romantic about being barbecued by that ugly maniac." Asami tightens her jaw, "Besides, who even is she to Hawks? What makes her so special?"
"Oh, I see," the nicer of the two giggles, "You're just jealous, that's it."
The nasty girl rolls her eyes. "If it means putting yourself in this state to get the dude's attention, then he's not worth it. No matter how pretty he is," she shakes her head. "Shame about his wings though," she continues. "I overheard one of the healers saying that they will never grow back thanks to him not getting the healing that he resigned to her," she sneers down at Asami as her heart races at the information. "What a waste," she scowls.
Asami doesn't have the strength to tell these girls to fuck off because all she can think about is the healing that she's been given and how it was all because Hawks gave it up for himself. He sacrificed his wings and his comfort for her. She is no one—as these girls so pointedly observed. She is no hero, there is no need for her to get this treatment over him.
Asami waits for the girls to leave, and when they do, she lifts herself up into a seated position. She sighs heavily as she glances outside the window. It's been hours since Hawks left her room and she doesn't know what to do with herself anymore. She's still hurting from head to toe, so she hasn't made any attempts to get out of bed. She considers trying and finding Hawks to talk to him, but the dread of facing him is almost as bad as the pain that wracks her body. She wants so badly to ask for something to subside the pain, but she knows that she has no right to that since it should be reserved from the heroes; just like her healings.
The sun has set and the soft lights in Asami's room turn on. She wonders if Hawks will ever return to the room, or if he's given up on her entirely. She can't place the blame for her circumstances on the Commission and their order for her to sleep with Dabi in exchange for information, because she slept with him and got pregnant before that. The only person to blame for this is herself. She needs to take accountability.
The door to her room clicks open and she figures it's another staff member checking up on her. She's seated upright, so she can't pretend that she's asleep, but she also doesn't have the energy to speak with them, especially now knowing that her presence here is not welcomed.
A few silent moments pass, and she can feel the person still in the room, shifting in the doorway. She shuts her eyes, figuring she just needs to bite back her annoyance and just face whoever has been forced to take care of her. She cranes her head slowly towards the door when her eyes land on two golden beams. Her heart races in her chest when she looks into his eyes as they always have.
Asami's lips part when she sees Hawks standing at the doorframe. She moves to speak when his head drops down to his phone. "I brought you some Boba," the phone reads and Asami blinks down at his out reached hand that holds a plastic cup. "It's strawberry lemonade from the hospital cafeteria. It's not as great as the shop in Hosu you like, but it's still pretty decent. I mean, how can you mess up strawberry lemonade right?"
Judging by the lack of Hawks' fingers moving over the phone at the long-winded comment, Asami figures that he had the response cued up and ready for when he arrived. She's brought back to the memories of the two of them and the small hole-in-the-wall shop that had the best Boba ever. She would order them both a drink and take it back to his office since he was too high-profile to enter the shop himself. She remembers the countless times he would tease her for her plain flavor options while he would get a different flavor every time. She would smile at him and tell him that she liked what she liked; there was no point in switching it up when she found the best one. In any other moment, she'd be teasing him for making fun of her for liking the plainest flavor option, but now, she's just happy he's here.
"Thanks," she tells him with a building smile on her lips, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She reaches for the plastic cup from his bandaged hand and pulls the straw to her lips. It is not nearly as good as the small shop, and the wrinkle in her nose shows him that she's not a fan of the flavor or consistency of the Boba bubbles, but she still enjoys the drink because of the thought. "What flavor did you get?" she asks him.
A smile reaches his lips as he types "Red Bean," already knowing her response and seeing it clearly painting her face as she sticks her tongue out in disgust. Despite being conservative with the food that she eats, when she does have sweets, Asami goes for the most sickeningly sugary items on the menu, whereas Hawks goes for the tamer flavors. They always seemed to tease one another when it came to their dessert options.
Asami wonders what happened to that shop in Hosu. They've probably evacuated because of the war and that brings a frown to her lips.
"Thank you for this," Asami says lifting the cold drink in her hands. "I really needed this," she mumbles to herself as she traces the sweat drops of the cup with her thumb.
Hawks nods once, standing stiffly in the doorframe, still wondering what to do or say next considering there is an air of tension still between them.
After a few sips of her drink, Asami figures that she needs to rip off the metaphorical band aide and have the conversation that neither of them seems to want to have, but must.
Asami has not been one to emote herself well. Despite being logical and calculative with her words in her work, when it comes to her emotions and her own life, she's unable to express herself correctly; her last words to a young Touya were a clear indicator of that.
Asami shakes her head slightly as the memory of him reels back into her consciousness. She stares at her cup and tries to do this better with Hawks than she was with Touya.
"I'm sorry," she begins, figuring an apology is the best start. Hawks stiffens in his peripheral as she continues. "I've never been great at communicating how I feel, and a lot of the time I kind of keep it bottled in, or I let it out and say the wrong thing. I'm really afraid of saying the wrong thing here," she's struggling on her words, feeling like she's vomiting as they come out unwillingly from her throat.
"You don't have to apologize," Hawks types out as he steps towards her.
"I do," she asserts as she looks up at him. "I need to take some accountability for what's happened between us," she tells him and the air between them thickens. "I never told you that I wanted more," her eyes fall from his because she can't look at him while saying this. "I was never open with you in what I needed. I could have communicated better. I was just…" worried that you'd leave like the rest.
Every sweat drop from the Boba has been wiped away by Asami's thumb, and now she has no choice but to look at him. "I didn't want to ruin a good thing," she settles with.
Hawks sighs, seeing the pain in her eyes as he turns to his phone, wishing his voice was strong enough to speak but he still relies on the stupid robotic voice to speak for him. "You didn't," he simply writes, implying that there is still something left of them.
His eyes wander from his phone to the side table next to her bed. He fixates of the small opened tin pack next to an empty glass of water.
He doesn't have a moment to ask when Asami answers for him. "I didn't take it," she sighs looking at the packet on the table when Hawk's eyes turn to her. She shrugs at the unanswered question of why. "I just couldn't do it. I had it in my hand and I…" she shakes her head. "Maybe I want to punish myself for my stupid decisions—that's a terrible way of looking at it—" she scolds herself but she can't look at this like she wanted this.
I want your babies.
She shuts her eyes and tries to get back on track. She looks up at Hawks now, "You don't deserve to be dragged down with me in this," she tells him. "You're young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. This isn't your fault, and I don't want…" she chokes on her words as a sob hits her vocal cords. "I don't want to be the one that ruined you," she cries as she throws her head down and tears begin falling down her cheeks.
Hawks quickly steps towards her, placing his hand comfortingly on her back, then quickly retracting it when she winces in pain. He instead hooks his head down in search from her eyes while his hand reaches for her cheek.
"Asami," his voice scratchily calls out to her from behind his mask and the sound of her name leaving his lips makes her want to cry even more. He doesn't call her 'baby' because she probably lost that privilege in all of this. "Don't cry," his voice reaches her and she turns her head to him. "You didn't ruin me," he weakly voices to her.
She frowns at him, "Your wings, Keigo," she points out to him. He moves to argue with her but she persists. "I heard the nurses say that you gave up your sessions with Recovery Girl so that I could get her treatment instead." His jaw tightens at the information and she continues. "I'm not a hero, why would you have them waste their time on me? I'm nothing."
"That's not true," his voice is rough and his eyes convey just how angry he is with that assessment she has of herself. He groans as his throat hurts too much for him to explain himself so he leans away from her and pulls out his phone. "You're the only reason we had a fighting chance in that battle. You gave us information on everyone's Quirk, provided us with pairing options, gave us information on the Nomu and the layout of the villa, among many other things."
"I'm the reason you lost your wings," she argues him with watering eyes. "I'm the reason pro hero Hawks is finished."
"You're the reason I'm alive," his rough voice croaks out with a burning intensity that his eyes match. She threw her body into Dabi's flames to protect him and regardless of what may have been going on in her head at the time, Hawks will never forget that she is the reason he is here today.
Asami sighs, feeling that her concerns aren't going to be heard if he focuses on that action alone. "I can't take the healings anymore," she declares. "I will forfeit them in favor of you again."
"They won't come back," he tells her quickly. "Recovery Girl said they'd be gone…" a lump forces him to stop speaking and he isn't sure if it's because his throat is still torn, or if it's because he's lying to her.
"Then we will find someone who can help. Or you can have her focus her efforts on someone else. I'm not going to let myself be a burden on the healers," she sternly asserts.
"You're still in pain," he argues.
"So are you," she returns, seeing it clearly in his face when he moves. They've talked themselves into a circle and Asami needs to return them back on track. With another heavy sigh, she says, "I made my decision," she begins. "Not only when I ran into those flames, but everything." Tears begin beading in her eyes once more as she realizes it all stems from her. "Jin is gone because I wasn't strong enough—"
"That's not your fault!" Hawks' voice is stronger than either of them expected and Asami looks up at him with widening wet eyes. "He made his choice too. We all did," he says. "Twice made the decision to move against the heroes. And I made the decision to strike him down," his face turns as if he's tasted something vile. "Dabi…" his voice tightens and he resists the urge to look at her stomach as he feels sick all over again. "He made the decision not to leave."
Regardless of how Asami wants to spin the narrative into blaming herself for everything that transpired in that room, everyone was culpable of their actions. At any point Twice could have accepted Hawks' offer to repent but didn't. Hawks could've allowed Twice to rampage against the heroes and not taken his life but he didn't. Dabi could have listened to Asami and left the fight for the countryside but didn't. Asami could have allowed Dabi's flames to engorge Hawks and live her life with the villains but she didn't.
Now all they can do from here on is accept the aftermath and figure out where do they go from here.
He looks at her and she looks at him as their eyes survey one another. Her lilac orbs shift back and forth between his eyes as they search his for something. "Why are you still here?" she questions him with a useless tone. She's become so accustomed to abandonment, that the idea of someone staying is so foreign to her. She doesn't want him to leave, but she doesn't know why he would want to stay.
Hawks is heartbroken by the look in her eyes, as if she's expecting him to leave her because of the decisions that she made. It didn't play out the way that he would have wanted and, in the end, she had chosen Dabi over him. But that doesn't change the fact that she's now left alone, and with everything happening to her, Best Jeanist was right to say that she doesn't deserve to be left alone.
He knows the answer to her question and this time he won't hold it back as he did for years. He takes his mask off of his face and looks into her eyes with a strong conviction. "Because I still love you," he tells her and her eyes shake in their sockets as his forehead reaches hers and his bandaged hands touch her face. "Because you don't deserve to be left alone because of this."
Asami's back begins shaking as she begins sobbing, and all the feelings come rushing out like waves crashing against the shoreline. Hawks quickly snatches her into a tight hug as she sobs into his chest with woeful cries.
She's hit with so many contradicting emotions that she isn't sure what else to do but cry. She's happy that Hawks is still here while simultaneously mourning the loss of Touya all over again.
Present Day – Day 89
The small white-haired woman looks down from the girl in the bed, shaking her head and the ever-changing requests from these two as the blonde stands behind her.
"If it's too much work, you can use the timeslot to focus on recovering your own strength," Hawks interjects with his phone. "But she refuses to get any more sessions."
Asami tightens her shoulders as she watches Recovery Girl consider his words. "Is it possible for his wings to return?"
Recovery Girl looks up at the two of them thinking for a moment. She can see that they are both still in terrible shape and both should be receiving extensive healing, but they just don't have the resources.
"I don't know," she returns honestly. "The window of certainty has closed, but I am not opposed to directing my Quirk to Hawks once more. Though do understand dear that it will take longer for you to recover, and those scars will be permanent."
Hawks winces at the information but it doesn't affect Asami, "That's fine," she informs her, almost wanting the scars to remain as a reminder. "All that matters is that Hawks be able to fly once more."
"It's not a promise, but we can try."
Asami smiles while Hawks tightens his lips into a flat line. He came to terms with never having his wings again, but he can't come to terms with her being in pain. He wants to argue this more, but he knows that Asami won't let this go.
Recovery Girl moves to Hawks to work on him in the chair next to the hospital bed while Asami watches with a soft smile on her face when his shoulders loosen and he exhales in what seems to be relaxation.
The moment is short lived, however, when the door to their room opens and the smile wipes off of Asami's face when she recognizes the unwanted visitor.
Her plain blonde hair is in need of a brushing, and the frown lines on her face appear more prominent than normal which comes to a shock to Asami. Her head is bandaged and she looks more tired than normal. Her bloodshot grey eagle-eyes lock onto Asami immediately as she narrows her gaze at her before turning her eyes to Recovery Girl and Hawks.
"Recovery Girl, would you mind giving us a moment, please?" the president of the HPSC presses with a forced smile.
Hawks stiffens his shoulders once more and Recovery Girl nods once, bouncing off the stool she was using and heading out of the room. The president waits patiently for the old woman to leave the room before eventually turning her attention to the two in the room.
"It's good to see the both of you are healing nicely," she begins with a calculative smile on her lips. Asami and Hawks wait for her to explain why she is here, rather than allowing either of their emotions to dictate their response to her. The last either of them spoke of her, she was directing Asami to sleep with Dabi in favor for information.
She clears her throat, figuring that small talk is out of the question. "I'm here to thank you, Miss Hatsuse for the information that you provided the heroes in this war effort. Had it not been for your investigative—"
"I don't think that's why you're here," Asami speaks over her and the woman blinks back her surprise and coaches her facial expression to return to a hard unreadable stone. "So can you please spare us these fake niceties and tell us why you're here so we can return to what we were doing?"
The president releases a scoff mixed with an amused laugh. She didn't quite expect Asami to grow some teeth and snarl back at her. "I see," she nods once at Asami. "I want all the information you gathered on Dabi being Touya Todoroki," she plainly states. "That information was conveniently left out of your detailed reports."
Hawks stiffens behind Asami, but she manages to keep her composure tight as she responds, "What is there to say?" she questions her. "Dabi is Touya. There is no doubt in my mind about it."
The president hums with a single nod. "And how would you rate his control of his Quirk? Does he pose an actual threat to Endeavor?"
Asami's brows furrow at her question, "I don't think I understand," she questions with a slight shake of her head. "Dabi's body isn't suited for his flames which causes his skin to burn," she informs her, but they should know that since it was reported to a Quirk doctor when he was young.
Asami feels there is more to the conversation than what the president is letting on and with her next words, her intensions in this conversation become clear. "Considering your relationship with the villain, how likely would we expect a retaliation from him when he finds out about…" she lingers, eyes slowly sliding from Asami's gaze to her stomach.
She knows. Asami's heart races. Of course she knows.
Hawks speaks when Asami's words are lost in her throat. "Dabi tried killing her when she shielded me from his flames," he presses. "When Tokoyami pulled me from the fight, he turned his flames to her."
The president looks away from Hawks and her eyes reach the ceiling as she thinks for a moment. Asami's mouth dries at the idea of Dabi trying to kill her. She thinks that he would never turn his flames to her and she can't believe what Hawks—
"So, if I want to kill that flaming pile of shit and his masterpiece… I need to kill you first."
Asami shuts her eyes tightly, trying to wish away the memory. He wanted to be a better man. He was willing to give up on—
"The Commission and I are worried that we will be facing unmanageable retaliation from the villain should he learn that she is carrying his child," the president continues. "Dabi may have a body that is not suitable for his Quirk, but he's not opposed to taking others out with him if need be; he showed us that much when he attempted to burn his younger brother with him."
Asami's heart races in her ears. "Shouto?" she questions. "Is he alright?" she asks with an urgency in her tone.
"He and Endeavor are fine," she informs her. "They've regained consciousness and are healing."
Asami releases a breath while Hawks speaks up. "Dabi thinks he successfully killed her. If we are able to keep him believing that she'll be safe."
"The child," the woman begins with a glare at Asami's stomach once more. "You were given an alternative…" she hangs on the words and it clicks for Asami why the OBGYN was pushing that she terminate the pregnancy instead of being an unbiased resource.
"I made my choice," Asami presses.
"Bear in mind the consequences of that choice," the president begins with a tight jaw. "That is the offspring of one of Japan's most notorious villains. What will he do when he finds out? Who will he kill to get his hands on it? Consider what kind of horrific Quirk a child born of blood and fire could possess?"
Both Hawks and Asami are left flabbergasted at the intent in her tone. "I made my choice," Asami returns with an incredulous shake of her head.
"This goes beyond a silly desire to play house," she sneers. "I understand your relationship with the villain goes back to when he was young, but he's made it clear he's not sentimental towards his past."
Asami feels her blood boiling with rage and before she can blow up on this woman, Hawks speaks up, "Regardless of what Dabi may or may not be, Asami's made her choice; she's having the child," he asserts powerfully. Asami turns to look at him as he continues with a growing line between his brows. She didn't expect him to stand up for her with this. "We can keep the information under the radar, but you will not stand here and bully her into a decision that benefits you."
"It benefits Japan," she counters. "Or have you forgotten the sacrifices needed to put other's needs before your own?"
"Asami has done enough sacrificing for you," he stares her down.
The president sighs, seeing that Hawks is still her lap dog even after all this. She's disappointed to see such potential wasted on her. "Very well," she concedes because she knows there's no point in arguing. "When Dabi decides to set all of Japan ablaze to get to his lover and child, those deaths will be the price that you'll have to pay for this fantasy you two are deluding yourselves to live in."
With that, the woman turns from the two of them, leaving them both stiff and unnerved by the conversation.
A/N: Thank you all for reading! I don't remember if it was clear if the President died from Re-Destro's clone, so I just made her survive in this story so she could delivery a healthy dose of angst.
It's only a matter of time until Dabi finds out, so how do you think it will go down?! More Todorokis and Dabi planned for the next chapter. Until then, hope you all enjoyed and please drop a comment with your thoughts!
