Notes: Thank you once more to everyone who is reading this story!

Song is "Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel.


Chapter 45: Hello Darkness My Old Friend


Caitlyn did not want the Orlesians to stay in Kirkwall any longer than necessary, and she and Anders agreed that they would not be welcome in the Keep. As it happened, they did not even have to refuse the hospitality. The Knight-Commander invited them to stay at the Templar quarters in the Gallows and see for themselves how the Circle was run, and they eagerly accepted.

Anders didn't like it. "If the Circle appears decent now, it's because Alrik and his comrades are dead," he said, "and because some policies have been changed—which Meredith fought!"

"Decent—or too free, in their opinion," Caitlyn said sourly. "I agree, but what can I do other than banishing them from the city, which would probably spark the war I want to avoid? Meredith is in charge of the Gallows. She has the right to invite them. And if they think the Circle is just fine—not too free, but just fine, and therefore that your outrage was overblown—they will credit her with that, whatever I say to the contrary."

"It's pointless to try to change their minds," he agreed, "but we can still put out the truth."

"That's exactly what I intend. They came here on their own, not because Justinia sent them. She wants to know who the rebels in the Chantry are. I think I might have found a couple of them for her." She smiled darkly. "At the very least, I doubt she knows what Trentwatch believes about rape. Dismissing him because he disagrees with her about Circle reform is one thing; dismissing him because he thinks Templars have the right to commit rape is another thing entirely. If she wants a reason to sack him, she's got one now."

"They're going to deny that they said it," he warned, "and Meredith will probably lie for them if the alternative is to side with us."

"I bet Cullen won't."

Anders scowled. "You have more faith in people than I do."

"He stood up to the Knight-Vigilant. It's worth trying. I'm going to write to Leliana—and perhaps to others. I do have Fereldan allies now." She smiled grimly and considered further. "I also decided to embargo Starkhaven and Tantervale goods from entering Kirkwall, in retaliation for their sanctions. We're a major trade hub in the Free Marches, and that will hurt. Kirkwall is the closest trade hub for them, but now, they'll have to send their caravans to a different city to enter the Waking Sea, or follow the Minanter all the way to the Amaranthine Ocean and then take a long, long trip the full length of the sea."

"I don't know much about trade policy," Anders said, "but whatever you do to inflict hurt on Sebastian is something I support." His tone and smile were fierce.

"I didn't know much about it either, but Varric and Ser Marlein do, and I've had to learn a lot of things rather fast," she said. She rose from her seat and pulled him up, which he let her do. "Come. I've had quite enough politics today. Mother and the others are taking care of Mal. Let's have a family dinner, like old times!"


Caitlyn realized that her new position likely would cost her one relationship: a close one with her newfound cousin. Charade was not intimidated by Caitlyn, of which she was glad, but she did not look to become exceptionally close to her powerful head-of-state relative now. Charade had become close to Leandra, and Caitlyn gathered that the young woman was essentially in charge of the household now even though Leandra was still the one who handled society affairs. She was glad that her mother was still among family, but it seemed to her that the family was dividing into two distinct branches: Anders and the Hawkes, who lived in the Keep and were all mages—at least those in Kirkwall—and the Amells, who lived in their ancestral home and were not. Living with other Amells who were not mages was how Leandra had grown up, Caitlyn realized—and she wanted to return to Kirkwall originally because she thought she would get to be "Lady Amell" in the Amell mansion among her family, she thought that evening as they finished their meal. It wasn't nearly that easy... but I guess she's finally got what she wanted, except that it doesn't include her own children. Carver and I always thought she was too clingy, and I should be glad that she has finally moved past that and let us live adult lives... but it kind of hurts now, after all.

And Carver has an entirely separate life from all of us in Ferelden, she thought. The Fereldan Wardens have expanded significantly since Anders' time among them, and Carver must have a circle of friends all his own now, who don't even know Anders. Apparently he and Merrill still have... something... but his life has diverged the most of anyone's. She gazed at Anders. When she had become Viscountess, he had written to Elissa Cousland to voluntarily forgo the Grey Warden stipend. Like King Alistair, he was no longer considered an active Warden, and for much the same reason, although he was not the ruler himself. It was unseemly for the Grey Wardens to appear to have a hold over a head of state or the spouse of one. Carver was now the active Warden of the family... but "resignation" from active duty doesn't change what makes someone a Warden, and Elissa knows that we're interested in a cure for infertility and will give it to us if her people discover one. Maker, I hope they do. Anders is such a loving father... he should get to raise one of his children from infancy... and Mal should have a sibling as I did. He's too isolated from other children, and it's because he is a mage. He's already seven years old, so any future siblings couldn't be playmates for him... but having a sibling at all matters. It mattered to me and I was five when Carver and Bethany were born. I didn't play with them; when they were old enough to play, I considered myself too old and had already shown magic... but it mattered just for them to be there, for me not to be alone as a mage child.

Her eyes were starting to water, and a lump had formed in her throat that her dessert wine was not helping. In fact, that seemed to be amplifying her emotions. Dinner was at an end, so she rose from her chair and ushered her family into the private sitting room of the Keep.


"What is it like to live on a farm?" Mal asked suddenly when they were all in the sitting room.

Caitlyn glanced up in surprise. "A lot of hard work," she told him. Chuckles escaped from Leandra and Anders. "You're thinking about Ferelden again, aren't you? Lothering?"

He nodded. "I remember it a little, but I don't remember doing anything."

"You were too small," she said with a smile. "The rest of us... everyone who was able had to pitch in with the garden, milking the cow and gathering the hens' eggs... and we had a very little farm! Your uncle Carver hunted deer and pheasant in the woods."

"I remember the woods." He gazed thoughtfully at her. "You didn't hunt? Or Aunt Bethany, or Grandma, or... my grandfather?"

She smiled gently. "Carver hunted with his bow. Your grandmother wasn't taught how, and we mages didn't know either. Using magic to hunt would have damaged the meat—and other people might have seen it."

"They might indeed," Anders added. "Your family saw my magic in the woods even in the middle of a snowstorm."

"And I'm eternally grateful that we did," she said, moving close to him on the sofa.

"I know about the snowstorm," Mal said, his childlike voice impatient in a way that was still endearing to his family. "I've known about that for years. Did you love each other as soon as you met in it?"

"No," Caitlyn said.

"Yes," Anders with a smirk. She snapped a spark of lightning between her fingertips and zapped him with it. He laughed and pulled her hands down. "Oh, now. You saved my life. Of course I loved the person who did that!"

"Oh, that's why? What if I had been a Templar?"

He gaped, making her burst into laughter at the expression of horror on his face. "Say it," she demanded.

"You win," he said, his voice small but his facial expression changing to a smile.

"Mother wins!" Mal repeated, enjoying his parents' affectionate banter. He smiled for a moment, then gazed at Caitlyn. "So when did you love him?"

"Soon enough," she said. "And your father was teasing. He just means that he was very grateful to me for saving his life—and your grandfather was with us too. People don't fall in love immediately. They have to get to know each other, but once we did, it happened really quickly..."

"And then you happened," Anders said, prompting Caitlyn to zap him again.

"Ugh," Mal declared. "I know how babies are made and I don't want to think about that. My own parents, ew."

Charade rolled her eyes as the others laughed gently. "I'm with Mal on this one. Nobody wanted that picture."

Leandra smiled indulgently at them. "We were all so happy then," she said. "Our lives would have gone very differently if..." She sighed, not finishing the thought. She did not need to. "But I suppose we would not have met Charade."

"You never know," the young woman said. "I still would have gone looking for my father when my mother died. I hope he would have written to you about me if you lived in Ferelden."

"I certainly would have," Gamlen said indignantly.

"And I suppose we've managed to find our places, and find a different kind of happiness, now," Leandra continued. "I wish that you two—three—could have lived the quiet, peaceful life that you wanted instead of having to take on all of this responsibility... but..."

"We couldn't have," Caitlyn finished gently. "Not while the world is this way for mages. But we're changing that now." She managed a wry smile. "And if the world had been different, Anders might never have come through Lothering."

"That's true," Leandra said quietly as Anders wrapped his arm tightly around Caitlyn's waist. "I wish so much that we hadn't lost dear Malcolm and Bethany... but I suppose..."

"They didn't have to die, certainly not Bethany. Father couldn't have lived in Kirkwall, but we could have perhaps established a little farm outside the city. Anders wouldn't have become a Warden, but maybe Carver wouldn't have been so insistent on going in the Deep Roads if Bethany and Father had been here too and he wouldn't have been the only one at home with you. Their losses were not necessary for us to become what we are today," she said fiercely. Their lives meant more than a means to an end for us, she thought.

"That is true... but if the world had been different for mages, you and Anders never would have met. And since things do not change on their own—people have to initiate change—I am so proud that the two of you will do it."

That night, after they had left and she and Anders had tucked Mal into bed, she reflected on the emotional evening. This is why I have done everything, she thought—my family. The past... the present... and above all, the future of it. I promised to Mal in my heart years ago that he would not suffer what we did. The cause is "the rights of mages," but it's always been personal for me in addition, because of my family. Whenever the politics become unpleasant, I need to remember tonight and remember why I'm fighting.


It was fortunate that she had had that pleasant evening, because over the next several days, the politics did become very unpleasant. She duly wrote and sent her letter to Leliana explaining what Trentwatch and Van Reeves had said at the conference, along with naming the other witnesses to their words. She then sent word to Ferelden about the matter. King Alistair reputedly did not care for the Templars due to being forced into training at the behest of a woman who believed that he was her husband's bastard, and he was said to be an incorrigible gossip, but she doubted that Anora was the sort to engage in that. Her letter to the Fereldan Crown therefore purported to be a "warning" about the ugly views of the Knight-Vigilant and a recommendation to the King and Queen to check on the conditions of the Circle at Kinloch Hold. That should satisfy Anora... and meanwhile, if the word about Alistair was correct, he would do the dirty work of defaming Trentwatch in Ferelden. Not that it counts as defamation when the man openly spouts such loathsome views, she thought.

Meanwhile with the aid of Varric's rumor mill, word quickly spread through Kirkwall after Trentwatch and Van Reeves departed for Orlais. Unfortunately, there were two distinct reactions to it.


"The Lord Consort was right!" declared a broadsheet circulated by a group calling itself Front for Resolution. Aveline had some harsh words about this when she found the first one.

"They claim not to be affiliated with the 'official' Resolutionists," she said to Caitlyn and Anders, "and assert that they are Kirkwall mage-rights backers, both mage and non-mage, who merely support your reign, but I'm not sure I believe that they have no communication with the official group."

"Wait," Anders said. "Who are the 'official Resolutionists,' then?"

"They're a group of apostate mages who think that acts of violence are the only way to force change," she said. "They are currently based mainly in Tantervale, though I'm told they spread to Starkhaven a few years ago after the Circle there burned."

Anders burst into a smirk that actually disturbed Caitlyn to see. "We should have agents in that area to give them some of what they are doing to us!"

"You don't want to support those people," Aveline said harshly. She did not like that grin either. "At least, if you have any intention of keeping on the Divine's good side. They target priests and devout civilians in Tantervale."

Anders looked dashed. "Well," he said, "all right—but what about the ones who made that broadsheet? Why do you think they're not independent?"

"Because they use the same word in their name, of course. Why would they do that unless they are affiliated, however loosely? My guess is that they aren't committing violence here because they don't believe they 'need' to with a mage-friendly Grand Cleric and a mage Viscountess, and they use a slightly different name because the Resolutionists proper are associated with violence. I guarantee you they'd be doing it otherwise."

"If they aren't committing violence, they have a right to be here," Caitlyn interjected. "Do you know who is the leader of this group? We should discreetly talk with this person and urge him... or her... to change the name to something else and cut ties with the ones in the north."

Aveline pursed her lips. "You and your soft spot for vigilantes who are on your side," she groused. "If it's not the priest's First Watchmen martyrs against the Qunari, it's this."

"I was a vigilante once."

Aveline managed a smile, but it was somewhat forced. "I don't know who is in charge—which tells me it's likely an apostate who escaped from a Circle and wants to stay anonymous as a result. I'll see if I can find anything more."


The second kind of reaction to the word about Knight-Vigilant Trentwatch was the one that Caitlyn and Anders had predicted. As soon as Varric's rumor-mongering spread the news that Meredith Stannard had witnessed these awful statements, the Knight-Commander stood on the Gallows steps, eyes bloodshot again, to deny it.

"The Knight-Vigilant made no such assertion!" she declared, gaze shooting over the gathered audience, a group of about twenty Templars lined up behind her with swords pointed downward and helmets concealing their eyes. It was a menacing display. "Templars are prohibited from having carnal contact with mages! There is no such thing occurring, never has been, and if it were, the Knight-Vigilant would not condone it. This is nothing more than an attempt to smear the Maker's servants as deviant reprobates!"

That afternoon, her toadies were in the streets, gleefully repeating her lie and slandering Caitlyn, Anders, and Petrice.

"A lying false priest and an apostate who defies the Chant of Light every hour she occupies the Keep," Ser Mettin jeered to a crowd in Lowtown. "Tevinter has priests who serve mage rulers and blaspheme the words of Andraste, but this evil has taken hold again in Kirkwall too, centuries after we threw off the magisters! A magister-like family and a heretic in Chantry robes are here again! This is what happens when we forget the true doctrine!"

The gathered crowd jeered in derision at these words. On the fringes of this group, a petite, dark-haired elf ducked away and hurried to Hightown, to the Tethras mansion, to tell her best friend what she had just heard.

"That's exactly what he said?" Caitlyn said in furious disbelief when Varric and Merrill had been admitted to the Keep and told her what had happened.

"I might have forgotten a word or two," Merrill said nervously, "but I'm not making anything up, I swear. It was shocking enough!"

"That's blatant sedition," Caitlyn said, her jaw clenched in anger. "He is inciting insurrection and Meredith is encouraging her little pets to do this, while keeping her own hands clean!"

"Relatively clean," Anders said, glowering. "She still lied. Her little cult will believe anything her agents say and disbelieve anything her enemies say. People who didn't have a strong opinion already are going to shrug and say that they don't know whom to believe. Who can prove that she's lying now?"

"Cullen Rutherford, if he has the courage."

Courage from someone terrified of magic. Anders did not want to scoff in her face when he was actually angry at others, so he turned aside miserably. What kind of world is it where certain people can lie without consequence because they have power? he thought. Caitlyn, bless her, wants so badly to win this fight by politics because she is tired of bloodshed. I hope she's right.


Caitlyn summoned Thrask and Keran, the two Templars whom she trusted most now, to the outer Keep and informed them that Meredith was lying about what the Knight-Vigilant had said and that the Knight-Captain knew it.

"The Knight-Captain!" Keran said nervously, grasping immediately what she wanted. "With all due respect, Your Grace, I don't want to get on his bad side again! He only recently decided I was all right."

Thrask sighed. "I am not surprised that Meredith lied. She... I don't know how to say this, and this must be in confidence... with all due respect. I don't mean to make demands of Your Grace."

"I understand your position," Caitlyn said. "I can't promise you that I won't tell my husband, but it will go no further, and I will make sure he knows too."

"Of course," Thrask said at once. "I didn't mean... of course you will tell him. Well." He lowered his voice and looked around quickly and furtively. "Something isn't right with her. She's... off."

Caitlyn considered that. "To my eyes, she has always been a zealot who did things that were 'off.' What's worse about her lately?"

"You would have to be in her company frequently to see the difference. She has grown terribly paranoid, Your Grace, and not just about the mages. She doesn't seem to trust most of the Templars either. Since your lord husband put Alrik to death, she has hardly been seen conferring with any Templar other than Mettin and his friends and protégés. She's even shut out Cullen. I overheard him complaining in his office to Ser Agatha that he feels that his title is hollow, he has so little responsibility. Mettin is effectively the Knight-Captain now."

"Do you think it could be lyrium sickness?" Caitlyn asked baldly.

"I've wondered, but I've seen Templars in that before, and this is worse. And different. It is hard to explain."

Then she's likely just set off by losing so much power—to a mage, at that, Caitlyn thought. "Well... take care of yourselves and the other good Templars," she urged them, "and try to make Cullen understand what he has to do."

After that, she went to the Chantry for an audience. Petrice grew increasingly indignant as Caitlyn told her what she had heard from Merrill and Varric.

"That's it," the priest seethed. "I do not have to tolerate this disrespect. Meredith could put a stop to this if she wanted, but if she will not, I shall." Without another word to Caitlyn, she summoned an initiate to go to the Gallows and bring Meredith before them.

Caitlyn was quite sure that she knew what Petrice was going to do, and had not thought that this was a good idea at all—but she had no authority whatever to stop it. When the Knight-Commander stormed into the Chantry, furious and sneering, she mustered her own resolve and clutched her staff defiantly, knowing that it would further irritate the Templar.

"What do you want?" Meredith barked.

"That lunatic Mettin is standing on the streets of Lowtown calling me a 'lying false priest' and comparing me to the male heretics of the Imperium—and speaking treason against Her Grace the Viscountess, too. And there is not a shred of doubt in my mind that you know what he is doing. I am giving you one last chance to strip him of his title before I do it myself."

Meredith's eyes popped in outrage. "You dare accuse me again?"

Petrice sneered at her, her mouth in an asymmetrical, dark smile. "Why should I trust your intentions toward me? You lied before all Kirkwall and the Maker about the Knight-Vigilant's words."

"As if you and that mage"—she sneered disrespectfully at Caitlyn—"haven't lied your way to power! You are a pair of hypocrites, and if Ser Mettin has said that to the people of Kirkwall, it's the justice of the Maker for the mob incitement that you two engaged in to rise!"

"What have we lied about?" Caitlyn said, her words ice.

Meredith laughed nastily. "To begin with, you lied to this city for four years about being an apostate! And I still believe you lied, both of you, that you didn't want the Qunari to rise up."

"You're wrong—but this is beside the point. Mettin is inciting unrest with his words. That is why the Grand Cleric had you summoned here."

"Inciting unrest!" Meredith scoffed. "Another thing the two of you did constantly. You don't like it when it's done against you, do you? If that is what he is doing."

"Do you have anything to say other than calling us hypocrites?" Caitlyn snarled. "Her Grace never spoke of Elthina or you—or Dumar—except to criticize them and you about the response to the Qunari presence. She did not accuse Elthina of anything else until it was proven that she was guilty! She was criticizing the actions of Kirkwall's leaders, not slandering them by comparing them to magisters and Imperial Chantry priests, accusing them of blasphemy and heresy, or declaring that they were unlawfully holding their posts! But even if we were hypocrites, it does not make Mettin's conduct acceptable."

Meredith's gaze narrowed, and her voice became low and menacing. "If you dare strip Mettin of his knighthood, I will take it to Trentwatch. And you know whose side he is on. Do you think that the Divine will overrule him for one little Templar in Kirkwall?"

"Do you think the Knight-Vigilant will bother with one little Templar in Kirkwall?" Petrice retorted. "He is about to find himself in a great deal of trouble, I think! You may be able to fool part of Kirkwall, but the truth will out." She glared into the Knight-Commander's eyes. "Whether you like it or not, your co-conspirator Elthina is not the Grand Cleric of Kirkwall anymore. I am, and she is nothing but a fugitive! Mettin will be a civilian within the hour, Knight-Commander. The Viscountess and I have had enough."

Meredith's nostrils flared angrily. Without another word, she stormed off.


"It won't stop him," Anders said at once when Caitlyn returned to the Keep and told him what had happened. "He will probably be even worse as a civilian. Having his title stripped certainly made Varnell even more of a zealot. Doesn't she remember that?"

"I know, Anders. I know this won't stop Mettin. That's why I wished, in a way, that she hadn't done it. But, on the other hand, it is a show of strength. There is something to be said for that."

Anders turned aside, his brow furrowed deeply. He remained silent and turned aside until she touched his sleeve in concern. "Love? What's wrong?"

He faced her again, his face deeply unhappy, and took a deep breath. "There is something that would stop him for good," he said gingerly.

Caitlyn gaped. "You know what'll happen if we do that!" she burst out. "Maybe a year ago we could've gotten away with it... and I wish we had done it," she said in a snarl. "But not now. Tensions are so high that it would be obvious who was responsible. It would be obvious as far away as Starkhaven... Denerim... and Val Royeaux."

"I know," he croaked. He looked so miserable that she reached across the sofa and took him into her arms, cradling his head against her chest. "You're right. Maker. I thought that having this kind of power would make it easier to get things done... better for the cause... better for our family. But it imposes restrictions on us too."

"It's... different," she finally said, stroking his hair and trying to comfort herself along with him. "We do have more power overall, but some avenues are closed to us now. At least... they're closed if we don't want to spark war."


Mettin's dismissal from the Templar Order did not settle Kirkwall down. As Caitlyn and Anders had anticipated, the man continued to stand on street corners in Lowtown spouting his bile to any who would listen. The only thing that Petrice's order had accomplished, it appeared, was to sever the clear link between him and Meredith Stannard. He could now say, as could Meredith, that he was acting without her approval or knowledge, and they would have plausible deniability. In that sense, it was actually counterproductive. Petrice had had her moment of "power," and with it, she had ceded the ability to do anything to Mettin unless she wanted to arrest him for heresy—which would be difficult, given that he was not actually speaking against the Chant of Light, just the current Grand Cleric.

The city fell into an uneasy truce for the next several days. Caitlyn knew that if any real action occurred, it would be after her letters to Leliana had arrived in Orlais, and that would take a while. In the meantime, Caitlyn decided to deal with another simmering problem before it exploded in her face: the dragon at the mine. To that end, she summoned the foreman to the Keep at night, after work hours, to hear his story. The other owner, Hubert, was also there, as was Varric—because she had something to ask of him if the story seemed believable to her.

"Three of them have seen the beast itself," the man said, "always in flight, circling around before heading off. But it keeps coming back. And they all swear they've seen its shadow pass over them or heard its roars."

Caitlyn believed him. The workers had always been telling the truth when they talked about monsters in the area. She did wonder if the dragon was truly a High Dragon, the biggest variant known to modern Thedas but also very rare, or if it was just a large mature dragon, but this distinction hardly mattered. It was dangerous, and if it decided to create a nest in the mine, everyone there would be slaughtered.

She turned to Varric. "If we can just discourage the dragon from nesting, we could avoid a protracted, ugly battle with it in which some of the fighters would probably die if it really is a High Dragon. Is that possible? Do you know, have the dwarves invented anything to drive them away? I know that the dwarves of Orzammar live underground, but dragons may settle in caves..."

"Those stodgy twits don't have anything, but we surface dwarves are working on something," he said proudly. "Seems that dragons are making a reappearance—fitting, given the name of the Age, but after the Nevarrans hunted them almost to extinction, they're coming back, and so my people are, naturally, seeing a new market open up." He grinned.

Hubert scowled. "And that is exactly why I don't want to do this! Everyone knows how the dwarves take advantage of humans, thinking us stupid and foolish. And if we believe this man's story, repeated to him by ignorant laborers, we'll deserve it!"

"Excuse me?" the foreman sputtered.

Caitlyn was glowering in anger. "You certainly deserve to be called foolish," she snapped. "You owe Varric and your man an apology. But I am sure you won't offer it."

"I'm not paying for dwarven contraptions to chase a phantom," Hubert insisted. "I cannot believe you just took his word without question. Do you do that with everyone you see as Viscountess?"

She snapped. "Leave," she ordered. "If you don't want to pay for it, then you won't have to. I will pay for it—but I warn you, if there is a dragon, you just made a big mistake to speak that way to me."

Hubert rose from his seat in high dudgeon, leaving the outer Keep without a second look.

Caitlyn breathed in and out. "I meant it," she said. "He is negligent, and unlike the previous ruler, I try to look out for all the people of Kirkwall. There will be consequences." She turned to Varric. "Tell me more about this device."

"It's a special ballista that can pierce dragon hide. They call it the 'deepstalker,'" he said with a somewhat derisive chuckle, "which as you know, having walked in the Deep Roads, is ridiculous. Those pests couldn't harm a dragon... but the other name they considered was 'scorpion,' which makes even less sense. If you don't want to kill the dragon, I've heard that the thing to do is to apply frost magic to the bolts and aim them at the wing joints. That'll cripple it and make it want to avoid the place where it got this debilitating injury."

"It can be killed if that's the only way," she said, "but otherwise, yes, I'd like to discourage it. A High Dragon is a magnificent, rare creature." And perhaps I feel a little sympathy for a creature of magic and fire that wants to secure a good home for its young! I have killed dragons before, but they attacked first. This one has not. "It can nest where it pleases so long as that's far away from people!"


At last, Caitlyn had the visitor from Orlais that she was hoping to see. Leliana made her appearance in the Keep, bearing a sheaf of documents, her identity well-concealed by her spy cloak. Caitlyn brought Anders to the parlor where they would talk.

"I am glad that you did," the Left Hand of the Divine said, her gaze cast down and to the side as he appeared before them. "What I have to say is best said personally, and it would be inappropriate of me to ask a wife to relay... certain things... to her husband."

"What do you mean?" Caitlyn asked as they took their seats, genuinely curious—but somewhat uneasy too. This sounded ominous.

Leliana gazed ahead, not looking at either of them, seemingly praying with eyes open for the Maker and Prophet in which she so fervently believed to help her find the right words. "I have many things to tell you," she finally said, "and it is best to start at the top. I know that the Empress rejected your ambassador."

"It was a disappointment, but I suppose I see her reasoning. We are doing some very controversial things here in Kirkwall, and from Celene's perspective, it would be a huge risk without much advantage to Orlais."

Leliana nodded. "That was Her Majesty's reasoning. If I may... and this must be a secret... she is not against mages, or even apostates. She has expressed an interest in meeting the Chasind mage who served with us in the Blight, and her family, the Valmont family, have long had an interest in magic and the occult. But there is a distinction between having an exotic Court Mage, having a little family secret, and openly forming an alliance with... well... the most controversial head of state in southern Thedas, to be honest." She gazed at Caitlyn with an amused smile on her face.

Caitlyn was perversely proud of this designation, despite the context. As she stole a glance at Anders, she realized that it pleased him too.

"The Divine is attempting to prevent war and schism," Leliana continued. "It is becoming more difficult, of course... if the would-be schismatics cannot take her life and she cannot root them out, then they will declare a schism, and she will have no choice but to call an Exalted March. She does not want it to reach that state."

"Nor do I," Caitlyn said quietly.

"And this next is why I am glad that you are here personally, Lord Anders," she said. He looked up, startled; even now, the title was unfamiliar to his ears. She continued, her voice harder now. "When the stories reached Val Royeaux, I did not believe that you had actually executed Templars without cause—and sure enough, the Viscountess wrote to me to explain what had happened in that event and following it. Most Holy agrees that they disgraced the Order and that it was right for them to face justice."

Face justice indeed, Caitlyn thought wryly. If only you knew how literally true that is. Or do you? Has Elissa Cousland told you?

"Nonetheless, the way that you handled it made it harder, politically, for the Divine to back Kirkwall. Using magic in a court of law to silence them... and then in an execution, because their crimes were against mages, or to make a public display of the fact that you could? In Kirkwall of all places, a city founded by a slaver lord of the old magisters?"

Anders grew visibly defensive, as he still did when anyone other than Caitlyn chastised him for the ugly business, but he did not argue with her.

"He understands the consequences," Caitlyn finally said, "and agrees that it... was not his best moment. That Templar, Alrik, had hurt someone he cared about with the Rite of Tranquility, and he had to give that poor man a merciful death. We all have certain situations, certain people, that... set us off."

Leliana sighed but managed a weak smile. "It is true, but we all have to be careful of what we do if we are to prevent war from breaking out," she said. "One wrong move could ignite it. I am trying to ferret out moles and spies in the Chantry who I think are corresponding with the defrocked fugitive, Elthina, without Divine sanction. I am almost certain that the Knight-Vigilant is one of these rebels, especially after your letter detailing the vile things he said."

"Then—" Anders began to say heatedly.

Leliana gave them both that knowing smile again. "Wait for it, my lord. I am almost certain that he is a rebel... but I am still unsure about the Seeker hierarchy. Lady Seeker Nicoline declares that she sent Lambert van Reeves with Trentwatch to confirm that he was unfit to serve anymore, and Van Reeves—who, with the Knight-Vigilant, is back in Orlais, of course—agrees with her."

"At the conference, it looked mightily to me as if they were together in whatever scheming was afoot," Caitlyn said. "The Seeker was less vocal than Trentwatch, but when he did speak, he backed him up." She paused, finding her words. "If they were, then Van Reeves and perhaps the Lady Seeker as well have decided to throw Trentwatch under the proverbial carriage because he behaved too stupidly for them to defend to the Divine."

Leliana sighed again. "That is a possibility. Unfortunately, although I strongly suspect that Trentwatch is part of the covert rebellion, even that appalling conference does not prove it, and it certainly does not clarify anything about the Seekers' possible part in it. However... that conference does give Justinia a pretext to dismiss Trentwatch."

For the first time since Leliana had entered the Keep, Anders looked hopeful.

"The Knight-Commander of Kirkwall has publicly denied that Trentwatch made those comments," Caitlyn said. "Anders and I, and the Grand Cleric, will all confirm that he did... but if Lady Nicoline's hand-picked Seeker denies it too..."

"He has denied that Trentwatch made the specific comments about rape, but... he does now say that Trentwatch disgraced himself. They are blaming it on advanced lyrium addiction," Leliana said bitterly. "That is what the Lady Seeker claims she sent Van Reeves to ascertain, whether he had that condition."

"That's absolute nonsense," declared Anders. "I wouldn't trust her either!"

"There was someone else at the conference," Caitlyn said, "as I mentioned in my letter: Knight-Captain Cullen. Have you met him?"

"Briefly, during the Blight, when he was but a Templar at Kinloch Hold. Or... I should say... I encountered him. He was being tormented by a demon at the time."

Outrage flooded Anders' face, chasing away the look of hope. "Was he? The hypocrite. He condemned a young Templar recruit for unwanted, unwilling contact with a demon..."

"Condemned?"

"Verbally," Caitlyn clarified. "The young man is fine and completed his training. He's actually one of two Templars in this city that I trust pretty much unconditionally." She gave Anders a mildly reproachful look. "And Cullen did speak against Trentwatch, the leader of his order. You should talk to him. I hear that he's not feeling too charitably toward Meredith lately, either."

Leliana made a mental note of this. "I shall do that. Justinia needs all the people of honor and good intention to know that they can turn to her. We are all on the same side in this; please remember that." She gave Anders a pointed look. "You hate the Rite of Tranquility, of course, both of you. This is a secret that can go no farther, but you should know that Justinia is interested in hidden, highly secret research that could find a way to reverse Tranquility."

Anders sat up, startled and very pleased—though Caitlyn saw that the joy on his face was mixed with a pang of deep regret. Karl, she thought. If this research really does find that solution... he didn't have to die. Oh, Anders. I'm sorry. But... you acted on what you knew at the time.

"In the meantime... you two must be on your guard. You know this already, I am sure, but never allow yourselves or those you love to be alone with Meredith or her known comrades. And do you have a taster for your food, or some potion that can detect poison?"

"We have significant skill in herbalism between ourselves," she said, "especially Anders."

"That is good," she said.

"Will Justinia get rid of Trentwatch?" Anders finally burst out, unable to keep the question in any longer.

"She definitely wants to, and if Cullen will confirm that he said the vile things, then she will do so. Of course... we have not yet discovered which of the Knights-Divine are rebels, so his replacement may be just as bad."

"Well, we know he is bad," Anders said roughly.

"That is true." She gazed ahead for another moment as if in prayer, then turned to face them again. "There is one last thing before I must take my leave and meet with Cullen. Regardless of whether he finds his courage and Justinia can take action, she has decided on a course that she hopes will cool tensions in Kirkwall to some degree, and she has authorized me to tell you—and the Grand Cleric, when I meet her—in advance of the Knight-Commander, who will learn of it when she passes the official edict."

Caitlyn and Anders suppressed smirks at that.

"There is an organized, if secret, rebellion, but the laity and low-ranking Templars across Thedas who hear news out of Kirkwall do not know of that. The rebels may use their anger, but what the people sympathetic to tradition think is that there is a pattern of actions in Kirkwall that seem to favor undermining the Circles in favor of empowering two mages, the two of you, who either always have lived outside of one or who escaped and were granted amnesty. Her Perfection believes that part of the unease among that sector of the people is due to this, this... shunting aside of the traditional role of the Circles, in their eyes."

Anders was growing discontented again, and Caitlyn was not overly happy either, but she was trying to hear Leliana's words as objectively as she could.

"Justinia's order will be that, unless and until she declares otherwise, any further changes in policy for the Circle, Templars, or apostate population of Kirkwall—progressive or reactionary—will require a majority vote of a group consisting of the Grand Cleric, Knight-Commander, Viscountess, and First Enchanter, or some other representative of the Circle. A majority meaning three of the four votes."

"Oh," Caitlyn said, smiling, "that is good, actually! I expect we'll get three on just about everything we want to do... and then, to those who think that way, it can't just be this 'radical apostate couple' and the rabble-rousing priest who gave me my freedom. The staid, traditional Circle mages approve too."

Leliana smiled coyly. "That is the idea."


Cullen did not want to come to the Keep, but he was willing to meet with Leliana in the Chantry. Caitlyn went there as well, leaving Anders at the Keep to watch Mal and supervise the healing clinic. He disliked the Chantry due to the dark memories of Karl's death, and she saw no reason to pressure him to go. Cullen wanted to talk to Leliana alone, apparently not wanting to be under the watchful eyes of the secular and clerical leaders of the city. Anders would have disapproved of letting him talk to her alone, where he could say anything, she thought, but he obviously doesn't like Cullen anyway. I'm not worried. Leliana knows what happened, and if this is what it takes for him to speak, so be it.

She did not particularly want to socialize with Petrice right now, so instead she walked through the building, gazing in interest at the artifacts and art. Her attention was briefly captivated by the library, which she entered with the eager consent of the sister who was the curator. She immersed herself in a book by Brother Genitivi, an eminent scholar, about the lore of the Magisters Sidereal and their disastrous spell to enter the Golden City. Anders and I have probably slain two of them, she thought, turning the pages in interest. As self-aggrandizing as that sounds, I suspect it's true. But who can say how much of the rest of the story is true? She thought back to the notes left by ancient Wardens in the old fortress where Corypheus had slumbered. In a way... I suppose I understand their urge to try to keep him alive and learn from him.

Her gaze passed over a passage in the book, and her eyes widened. Some have the theory that they did their spell not in Minrathous, but on the Sundermount, a known weak point in the Veil following the ancient battle that supposedly occurred between elves and Tevinters. Maker's flaming breath! That would explain why Kirkwall has so many apostates who turn to demons...

"Your Grace?" the curator said shyly. "Your guest is finished, I think."

Caitlyn would have liked to continue reading, but there would be other times. She closed and shelved the book and returned to the hall, where Leliana and Cullen were shaking hands. The Knight-Captain looked as if a weight had been lifted from him.

"Thank you so much for your courage and help," Leliana said in her soft voice. "Maker watch over you. We will meet again, I am sure."


In the coming days, after Leliana left Kirkwall, Divine Justinia made several proclamations that were quickly carried across the Waking Sea. The order for Kirkwall's mage and Templar policies found its way to the city first, and Caitlyn had to pretend that she had not known of it in advance.

Loath as she was to do so, Meredith was obliged to go to the Chantry with First Enchanter Orsino to meet with her and Petrice about the new order. The older, handsome elf mage appeared surprised to be present for this, and Caitlyn found herself unable to read him. That was disconcerting. She knew that her perceptions of people were not always accurate, especially when she was in the throes of anger or desperate hope, but she thought that she was pretty skilled at this overall, and to be utterly unable to read someone was like being struck with the Holy Smite. Orsino did not even want to make eye contact with her.

Is he intimidated? she wondered. He might be one of those who think they are not to raise their gaze to the face of their leader. He is an elf, and many city elves are unfortunately cowed by all humans, but he is the First Enchanter—the head of Kirkwall's Circle mages, nominally. Why doesn't he want to look at me? Meredith certainly isn't afraid to...

She wished that Anders were here, so that she could later ask him what he thought of the elf mage, but she had to project strength as herself without leaning too much on her partner in public, or else people would cease to respect her—and loss of her supporters' respect was one thing she could not afford.

Finally, after the four of them had read over the Divine's edict for Kirkwall, Caitlyn decided that she had to adjourn the uncomfortable, awkward meeting. "I hope that we can all discuss future changes to Kirkwall policies regarding mages and Templars in a productive way," she said, her tone sounding flat and listless even to her own ears, "and that the knowledge and unique perspective each of us provides will prove a benefit. Divine Justinia has given us her official approval to make our own policies, provided that they adhere to the Chant of Light, and for the sake of peace in the city, it's important that the people see cooperation among us in that task."

The words felt like pablum to her. Petrice stifled a roll of her eyes; she knew that it was fancy nonsense too. Meredith barely hid her own smirk. As they all rose from their seats to depart, Caitlyn stole another glance at Orsino. This time she caught his eye—but only for a moment. His gaze darted away at once, that strange, unreadable look on his face again. What is that? she thought. Is he... ashamed of something? Surely he hasn't been shamed into thinking that he has no right to be here. The Divine specifically wanted him here to speak for the Circle mages. To my knowledge, he has always stood up for the mages under his supervision before, at least as far as he was able. What's wrong? What has Meredith said to him?


She meant to ask Anders if he knew any more about the First Enchanter, but he was so angry about something when she returned to the Keep that the question fled her mind.

"What happened?" she said dourly at the look on his face.

He inclined his head to glower at the official document on the nearest table, its seal—the sunburst of the Chantry—popped. She walked over and picked it up to read. As she read, her green eyes widened and the same anger that he felt overtook her. She tossed the note on the table in frustration.

"This," he seethed, "is why I don't trust them. Any of them. Even the ones who mean well are afraid of making a bold and necessary stand!"

She scowled at the discarded document, which announced the sudden vacancy of the Knight-Vigilant position, following the discovery of "illness" in former Knight-Vigilant Trentwatch that necessitated his removal to the Templar Hospice in Val Royeaux.

"He should have been stripped of his knighthood and disgraced before all of Thedas, not allowed to slink off and pretend that the lyrium made him say it!"

"I agree," Caitlyn said, glowering in anger at the tabletop. "He's not being held accountable. People like him are what allowed Alrik and his 'friends' to think that they could do as they pleased."

"They are," Anders said. "And if he is part of a rebellion, what's to stop him from continuing to carry it on from a sick room? Surely Divine Justinia didn't believe the lie that the Seekers told about lyrium sickness!"

"I can't imagine that she would have," Caitlyn said. A new surge of anger filled her. "It must have been this urge to avoid conflict. And—fine. She's not filling the post. She will lead the Templars herself, she says, until she finds a 'suitable candidate.' She wanted to get that result without triggering the revolt at last, so she pretended to act on the Seekers' words, whom she must privately suspect too. I understand what her reasoning must have been." She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself, but it was hard. "But she still should have dismissed him for what he said! What in the Void was the point of getting the truth from Cullen if she wasn't going to expose the Knight-Vigilant as a rape apologist? It was hard enough to get him to show courage; what message does he receive if the Divine won't do it?"

"Morally cowardly compromises satisfy no one," Anders said darkly. "I'm not against compromise in principle—for the right reasons. This is not that." He clenched his fists, from which little lightning bolts arced. "There is no justice in this. He should have been exposed for what he is."

"The King and Queen of Ferelden know about it," she said. "I've heard that Alistair is a hopeless gossip, and I asked Anora to check on the conditions at Kinloch Hold. You told me that Elissa Cousland is sheltering a lot of mages in the Wardens now, too. The truth may still be told in Ferelden... and here."

"The 'apostate Viscountess' and the 'barbarian dog lords,'" Anders said bitterly, his words filled with bleak cynicism. "Who else will believe it now? The official word is that he was ill from lyrium overuse and had to retire to the hospice." He sank onto the nearest divan, clutching his head. "I want mages to be treated fairly and I want evil people to be held accountable. Is that so much to ask?"

She sat down next to him and leaned against him as he pressed against her in turn, each of them drawing comfort from the other. "You're right, but there's little we can do about it now except tell the truth," she said. "Even if this is the official word, he did say those things and we can continue to say that. Lyrium sickness does not cause anyone to believe rape is not rape in some cases, and we can point that out. And he is removed from his position. There is that. He cannot overturn any more of Petrice's orders and strengthen Meredith."

"For whatever that's worth," Anders muttered. He gazed unhappily at her. "Caitlyn... I don't know how to say this... I know that you want to believe in her because of Leliana, and because you want this issue to be resolved peacefully... and I dearly hope you're right. I do think she means well, but it's not enough to mean well. I'm afraid... I'm starting to see the same tendency for inaction and timidity in Justinia that we saw in Dumar, and we know how that ended."

She closed her eyes, not even wanting to think about the implication.

"It could be worse," he said. "At least Meredith and Elthina aren't feeding her false information about the mages of Kirkwall. Other people are telling her the truth rather than a distorted lie. If they were the only people talking to her about Kirkwall, she would probably think we were overrun with demons and needed an Exalted March," he said cynically, "but instead, she does know that Meredith is the problem—her and people like her near Justinia herself. But what is she doing with this information? She removed the Knight-Vigilant without explaining the truth of why she did so, and in the process, she may have empowered Seekers who are even worse—just sneakier and more subtle."

Caitlyn hugged him. "It could be worse," she agreed, "but I would give her more credit for knowing that the Lady Seeker and Ser Lambert cannot be trusted, since they spread this lyrium idea to try to clean up a mess that Trentwatch made. I very much doubt that Justinia trusts them now. Leliana says that Justinia knows how to play the Game, and she does herself too."

"But what good does her distrust do if she won't act on it in ways that matter? She should have shamed him. If she wants change, she has to have the courage to bring it about. She should act first to remove those she knows are harmful rather than waiting to see whom she can trust and keeping people she doesn't trust in power because of 'the Game.' If it results in a replacement who has to go too, so be it," Anders said in hard tones. "They should all be purged." A single bluish crackle of light darted up his neck before fading, and in that moment, his voice was slightly deeper, slightly more like Justice.

Caitlyn did not know what to say. Her head told her that Justinia, an Orlesian intriguer, knew what she was doing and had a plan—a plan that would eventually root out the rebels and purge the Chantry peacefully, enabling her to enact the reforms and grant mages the freedom that she said she wanted to give. But her heart whispered that he could be right.

"If it comes to that, then she will see it at last," she finally said. "She's not stupid. Cautious, but not stupid. That's the difference between her and Dumar. I'm not happy with her either, Anders. I don't mean to make excuses for her. But I cannot give in to hopelessness, and neither should you. We have to try to make this work."

He squeezed her, suppressing a tremble. "I just hope that when she does see it, it isn't too late for... mages here."

That wasn't what you were going to say, she realized. The portrait of Viscount Threnhold, deposed by Meredith and her Templars and slain by one of them at last, filled her mind again, and she tried not to shudder in Anders' embrace. "We have power," she said, trying to convince herself. "We're not helpless."


Notes: "The seven magisters did their spell on the Sundermount" is probably not original to me, but it's a pet theory of mine (along with "the Taint is the magic of immortality, corrupted," since the Tainted magisters sure seem able to live forever)—and hopefully DA4 gives us an answer.

Anders is the one who would be more likely to express frustration with Justinia's caution as an institutionalist and a traditional (in terms of her approach to politics, not her reform views) Game-player. Caitlyn can be provoked to turn aggressive, of course, but she's sick of blood and has conflicts about using autocratic power (since she does get quite a thrill from doing it and knows it) and therefore really wants things to work so that she doesn't have to do either. It gets to the heart of the theme of this story.