Chapter 45

Marley POV

Sophia woke us the next morning, climbing up onto the bed, needing a bit of help to be lifted onto the tall mattress. I had personal experience now with exactly how comfortable the bed was, the lingering and familiar ache in my body from our night together another reason to never leave Korea. Shaking those thoughts away I swooped her into a kiss, Tae sliding up to lean against the headboard. She had a tight grip on Tinky and Jia and her curls were all over the place from sleep. I ran my hands through my hair thinking mine must look much the same.

"You look gorgeous," Tae whispered, reading my thoughts and I blushed. His words always caused a reaction and I wondered if that would ever stop, hoping it wouldn't as the feelings made me feel alive.

"Good morning babe," I answered him, feeling the kiss on my shoulder.

"Yes it is," he replied. Looking at his phone, he jumped out of bed. "I'm going to grab a quick shower before breakfast, OK?"

I nodded and watched him walk away, noticing his sleepiness and the way his hair fell across his forehead and eyes. He'd put on the PJ pants that matched the ones I was wearing, fumbling for them sometime in the night when we finally decided it was time to sleep. I hoped he would cope with the early start and all his workload this afternoon and evening after little sleep. We'd likely have to make sure it wasn't so late the rest of the time I was here but the first night, we couldn't help it and neither of us had any complaints about that.

Pulling Sophia close and listening to her chatter, I heard the shower turn on in the ensuite and then he started belting out some songs at the top of his lungs, voice echoing off the tiles. I'd heard him sing before, he constantly sung and hummed, but he was definitely in his comfort zone now that he was back home. I had an image of Tae grabbing the shampoo and using it as a mic and cracked up. It was great to hear him sounding so happy and comfortable and I thought briefly about joining him realising that it would have to be another time when Sophia asked me for food and we climbed out of bed.

I'd hunted through the pantry, finding a selection of cereals that Tae had obviously stocked up on for us, brand new boxes waiting to be opened. Pouring some into a bowl for her, I fetched the milk from the fridge as Tae walked into the kitchen, towel drying his hair as his sweatpants hung low on his hips.

"You could wear a shirt too you know," I said, distracted by his bare chest.

"I'm only wearing pants because Sophia is here otherwise I much prefer to wear as little as possible," he answered.

"Argh," I replied at the thought and blinked a few times before rolling my eyes at him. This Tae, in his own home, could be more than a little dangerous for my blood pressure. "So, do you need to be at work at 12 noon again," I asked, attempting to get the day back on track.

"1130am today but I thought we could go riding along the Han River? You can hire bikes and they have ones with children's seats. There are a few places I'd love to show you. We will have to take security though."

"I'll do whatever you want," I answered, leaning in for a kiss, careful not to touch him as he picked up his phone.

"I already mentioned it yesterday and so Ji-ho is just waiting to hear the time we need him," he said, sending off a quick message. "I'll need to take my things with me so you can drop me to work on the way back."

"Will I come in this time?" I asked, munching on a piece of toast. He came over, wiping the corner of my mouth with his thumb, licking the jam off his finger before reaching for the other half of my toast.

"You could for sure but I do have a busier day than yesterday so it would be a flying tour. Shall we play it by ear?"

"This trip is an extra I wasn't planning right now so I have no expectations Tae," I answered, linking my fingers with his. For a moment, he looked down at them, seeming lost in thoughts as he finished his mouthful. "Are you OK? The photos haven't come out have they," I asked, panicking a little at the thought.

"No, no Marley, it's fine. I was just thinking about when we can catch up with my family and there are some close friends I'd like you to meet too. It might mean we only see them briefly but that is better than nothing. I can't wait for them all to meet you, I've talked about you a lot to them."

I gulped at the thought but smiled at his excitement. "That sounds good Tae. Maybe short visits are better anyway, I'm not sure how long my nerves will cope. And I don't know enough Korean to speak to them all, I need to learn some more in the next few days. You need to tell me what I should say so your parents like me."

"Calm aein, it will be all good," he said, wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face in his collarbone, the smell of his shower gel on his skin and just being close to him calmed me as I took a deep breath in. As I breathed in time to his heartbeat, I felt myself settle and my eyes closed.

"Marley," he whispered into my ear. "If you, ah, stay like that much longer, I'm going to have to, ah," and he cleared his throat. My eyelashes fluttered against his skin as I pulled them open and he groaned a little under his breath.

"Maybe go put a top on babe," I said as he adjusted his sweatpants. "And some underwear."

"I like to go without," he replied, tongue between his teeth as he backed away from me with a smirk.

"Oh, ARMY knows and thanks you for that," I answered and his eyes grew big.

"I'll keep that in mind," and he disappeared round the doorway towards the bedroom while I smiled at his retreating back.

An hour later we were in the car on the way to the river. Ji-ho and another security member were accompanying us and I realised that here in Korea, things might escalate more as their faces were more easily recognised, we would all need to wear masks. Just sitting together in the back, holding hands, was enough to energise me for the day while the city sped by. Tae had taken over narrating as we drove, pointing out things and then getting super excited about specific places he'd like us to eat or visit. Part of me wondered if that would ever be a possibility without being recognised but I didn't voice my thoughts, relishing his enthusiasm at the city he'd lived in for all of his adult life.

Security got out of the car to hire bikes for us all when we pulled up while I took a small backpack, packing a few Sophia essentials. We'd talked in the car, Tae suggesting he had Sophia on the back of his bike and I took the backpack but in the end, it made more sense for Sophia to be with me. If anyone saw us and we needed to separate, it would be better for Tae to be on his own and for Sophia to not be connected with him. The tangled web of covering our tracks took some getting used to and even though it was his normal, it was far from mine.

There was a breeze coming off the water as the five of us set off. Tae had taken on board my suggestion about looking less like security so we did look more like a small group out for a bike ride together although no-one was really dressed in cycling gear and security was far closer to us than I would've liked. As we cycled, we were leisurely, Tae pointing out where the members often stopped to eat their packed lunches in the early days or where they came late at night when no-one was really around.

Sophia had a little helmet balanced on her head, sunglasses on against the glare, legs kicking happily in her child seat on the back. "Duckies," she bellowed and I called over to ask if we could stop. I unbuckled Sophia who was impatiently struggling to get down, while Tae got off his bike, security casually hemming us in near the water edge.

"I know it looks stupid but if we leave the helmets on, less chance of seeing our faces," and I nodded.

"Mama, we have bread" Sophia asked and I reached into the backpack.

"We can break some bread off your sandwich," I answered, handing her some which she tore into pieces, throwing them towards the river and giggling at the group of ducks that came running over to us.

"Dat duck sleeping?"I looked where she was pointing and saw a duck curled up. Leaning in I realised it wasn't sleeping.

"Sorry baby, that duck has died," I said quietly. She'd heard that word before, we'd talked about it, using as much of the right words in the right way to help her two year old self understand that Matty wasn't coming back.

"Oh, sad" she said, nodding and staring down at it.

"Yes it is baby," I answered as Tae came to stand next to us.

"Daddy died."

I inhaled and Tae heard, reaching for my hand to quickly give it a squeeze before dropping it, we were in public. "Yes, he did Sophia."

"Now I have daddy TaeTae."

My hand was coming up to break some more bread off the sandwich and I froze in place. Tae turned to look at me, his mouth falling open a little as we both stood silently for a moment, eyes meeting, his way too large.

I tried to think quickly, doing my best to word a reply so it was clear to Sophia but didn't upset Tae.

"You just call him TaeTae though Sophia Bug, remember? And he calls you BugBug," thinking what a disaster it would be if anyone overheard her calling him that in public.

"Yes, TaeTae," she repeated and I let out a breath.

"Sorry," I mouthed to him.

"Let's talk about it later," he replied softly before blinking a lot as he turned away.

KTH POV

The rest of the ride along the river had been pretty but my brain was stuck on a loop and Marley was quiet. "I have daddy TaeTae," kept playing over and over in my head and the flood of emotions that generated was a little overwhelming. It was much too soon and yet it didn't feel like it. The logical part panicked, I wasn't in a place to be a father with how often I would be away but my heart told me it was what I'd always wanted. Now that we were back in the car, I was holding Marley's hand, circling the back of it with my thumb.

"That's not something I've ever said to her," Marley said softly, breaking into the silence. I glanced at the security sitting in front of us, the radio on hopefully drowning out quiet conversation. We were tucked into the very back seat and I leaned closer so no-one else would hear.

"Children say all sorts of things."

"Yes and it doesn't mean anything half the time, I'll make sure she just calls you TaeTae."

I pursed my lips, wondering whether to let it go or not and deciding I couldn't.

"I'm becoming very attached to her," and she nodded, looking out the window.

"She is becoming attached to you too."

"Marley, are you OK jagiya?" She nodded again still looking away and I reached for her chin, carefully turning her head towards me. Her eyes were bright, not wet but tears threatening and I wanted to say so much in that moment.

She cleared her throat, blinking her eyes to stop anything from brewing, a deep breath to settle herself and I let her feel what she needed to, for as long as she needed to.

"It's a lot," I finally asked.

"It is. And it isn't. Which is making me feel like I'm pulled between what I should and shouldn't be feeling and doing. I'm a widow and a mother. What does that even mean when it comes to us?"

"It means your loss is yours but it's not yours alone to bare nae sarang. You have me to share it."

She turned in her seat so we were facing each other a little more, tracing her eyes across my face and I hoped she could see in my eyes that I wasn't going anywhere.

"It feels like there's a shadow hanging over us," she spoke, brow furrowed as she talked.

"From your dark year?"

"Yes and no. Yes, my loss because Matty will come back into things from time to time, like before with Sophia. And that rips at the scar a little. But not just that because it also feels like the distance and our differences make it too hard. Do you feel that too?"

"If you worry about Matty and how that makes me feel, please don't. I have a past too and that part of you made Sophia. When you talk about him or if Sophia does, it doesn't make me think differently about us. I'm just reminded you are still hurting. The distance, that I'm not sure how to feel about, that's hard. The differences mean nothing and everything to me. You are you, I am me and we somehow found each other when we were ready."

"Weren't you ready before," she asked, pulling my hand into her lap, sandwiching it between hers and I thrilled at her touch, still electrified by her warmth.

"Ready for love? Who ever is? It hits when it hits. But before, I knew I was too busy, now... the timing is better."

"I wasn't ready before," she said, smiling at Sophia who was chattering away to Ji-ho.

"And you are now," I asked, holding my breath.

"I am Tae." She leaned close so her mouth was next to my ear. "In love. With you."

I didn't care if security could see us if they glanced back or even if the whole world was watching. I took her lips in mine, needing to touch her as they slid together, telling her with my actions that she was my whole world.

Marley POV

When we dropped Tae to work on the way back to his home he hugged me close for a long time before climbing out, reluctant to let go. I knew the conversation had raised more talks that needed to happen between us but we had resorted back to where we felt most calm, in each others arms. Now, I touched my lips, feeling them full from our kisses as we drove back to his home. Once Sophia was napping, I knew I had the afternoon to plan what I wanted to do and see in Korea for the next few weeks. And I knew I'd get nothing much done, my thoughts would be clouded by Sophia's words. Calling him Daddy TaeTae had struck to my centre, thrusting a whole new world in front of me. Tae had already introduced me to possibilities of a future but being a father, although we had joked about how many kids we'd have, was something that seemed a long time away. Sophia had brought it to the front of both our minds, scary for me and I could imagine, overwhelming for Tae. As we drove up to his building, I sighed. Even with his kisses on my lips, I couldn't help but wonder if it was all too much for him, my insecurities and thoughts making me feel unsettled.


Opening my laptop, I sat at the kitchen counter, googling Things to do in Seoul. Tae had definite ideas he'd thrown my way and I'd made a note of them all. Now, I wanted to see if there were other things he'd overlooked or maybe places he'd never think of given the fact he couldn't go there himself without causing a commotion. Stirring my tea, I scrolled through the search results, sidetracked straight away by a news article.

"Proof that Kim Taehyung from BTS is dating"

My heart escalated, feeling like a vice was gripping it as I clicked on the article. They made you scroll all the way to the end before the photos popped up and I didn't even read the words, just saw myself standing in the hotel doorway. The first picture was quite blurry. I was in motion and if that was the one they used, it was likely the best one they had taken of me. If you knew who I was then it was clearly me but it wasn't a high definition image and I was grateful for that at least. The shirt came down low and you could just see that I had shorts on, most of the length of my legs visible. Sophia was also tucked in next to me, moving too so she was a little blurry as well. I gulped as I scrolled through the other images; Tae and I on our way back up to Sophia when we'd just found out she was sick, Tae holding Sophia on stage at the concert, at the park and then I paused and felt breathless. Tae at the airport leaving Japan and then a few of Sophia and I leaving Japan as well. Those were clear and although we were covered up a lot and I had on a mask, you could definitely make a case that we were the same people. The fact the person, or maybe it was even different people, had taken those photos and it had been connected back, was frightening. I scanned through the article, attempting to regain my composure as I skim read.

Photos have surfaced today of the woman who appears to be linked with Kim Taehyung from BTS. We have obtained photos from a trip he took this week to Japan. As you can see in the photos taken with the mystery lady in the hotel, it shows them standing very close in the hotel lobby and then her wearing the same shirt a few days later. The little girl in the background appears to be the same child we saw on stage back in New Zealand and also in his instagram picture at the park leading many to believe they're in a relationship. There are also photos of Taehyung returning alone from Japan and what looks like the same woman and child travelling from Japan to Korea the next afternoon. Sources close to the celebrity have always been silent on any relationships to do with BTS however it's clear from these images that some members of the band could in fact be dating no doubt causing millions of ARMY hearts to shatter.

They were right, it was obviously the same shirt from our restaurant date and although it proved absolutely nothing and there were no pictures of our faces while we were together, the pile of evidence was building and I knew some ARMY wouldn't let it go. My phone rang and I answered it straight away, not surprised that he was calling.

"Oppa."