The Mayhem Critic

Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker and I am here to bring you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic as Halloween Havoc V continues as Sean the Mayhem Critic reviews the classic 1978 film that kicked off the slasher craze. And of course, I'm talking about John Carpenter's Halloween. Does the film still hold up till this day? We'll find out today in the newest chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.

P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Halloween is owned by Compass International Pictures.

Halloween Havoc V Part II: Halloween (1978)

(The opening for Halloween Havoc V plays out, featuring images of Mother from Psycho II, the Silver Shamrock logo from Halloween III: Season of the Witch, the Sanderson Sisters from Hocus Pocus, Ghostface from Scream, Tar-Man from The Return of the Living Dead and Chucky from Child's Play. After the opening, we get a POV shot of someone watching Sean as we sees Sean talking to his friend's brother and his sister-in-law)

"Sean, thanks again for taking time off from your busy schedule to watch our kids." Adam said.

"Hey, it was no problem. I'm happy to help." Sean said.

"We could've called Brian, but him and Cheryl had something planned together. But luckily, you and Taylor are available. But since Taylor is out with her friends, you're not busy." Lexi said.

"Don't worry, I love children. We're gonna have a fun day together." Sean said.

"Alright. Aaron, Sophia. You two be good and remember Sean is in charge. You guys are going to have fun together. We'll see you two later when we come back. Sean, have fun." Adam said.

"I will. You two take care." Sean said as Adam and Lexi leave the house. The young movie critic closes the door behind him and he looks at Aaron and Sophia.

"Alright, who's ready to have some fun?" Sean asked.

"Me!" Aaron said, raising his hand.

"Me too! Me too!" Sophia said.

"Alright, let's see if we could watch some Charlie Brown. Oh, wait. They're not showing Charlie Brown on broadcast TV anymore. Thanks a lot, Apple TV. Hmm, we could watch Hunter on Tubi. No, wait. Too violent. Let me check what's on television." Sean said as he grabs the television to see what's on.

"Coming up next on Showtime: The Pebble and the Penguin." The TV announcer said.

"Nope." Sean said, changing the channel once more.

"Tonight on HBO, Millie Bobby Brown stars in Godzilla: King of the Monsters." The HBO Announcer said.

"Tempting as it sounds, I don't think you two would want to see giant monsters beating the crap out of each other and destroying cities and seeing that cutie Millie Bobby Brown. Next." Sean said, changing the channel once more.

"Tonight on Cinemax: it's a Halloween double feature with Halloween and Halloween Kills." The Cinemax Announcer said.

"Now we're talkin'!" Sean said, then realizes that Aaron and Sophia are in the room. "Oooh. That's the problem with having kids in the same room as you, you can't watch any R-rated movies in front of them. As a matter of fact, let's watch Animaniacs."

Sean puts in an Animaniacs DVD for Aaron and Sophia to watch before he sits down on the couch. After a moment, he looks at the camera and starts his introduction.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one. Let's talk about Halloween." Sean said.

(Footage from the Halloween Ends trailer is shown)

Sean: (Narrating) Yes, I'm so hyped for the final entry in the Halloween series, Halloween Ends and we see Laurie Strode and Michael Myers' saga ending. Who will be left standing? Who will die? Who will survive? It's the battle of the century and I can't wait to see it this month.

"With Halloween Ends coming out this month, I think it's time to dive right back in the Halloween film franchise when I review the one that started it all. Halloween." Sean said.

(The title screen for "Halloween" is shown, followed by clips from the movie while the iconic theme plays in the background)

Sean: (Narrating) Now before you all go nuts and threaten me in the comments section, let me just say this, I absolutely love this movie. It is one of my favorite slasher films of all time and I really want to cover it. Released in theaters on October 25th, 1978, with a budget of $300,000-325,000. This movie kicked off the slasher trend, and yes, I know that there were plenty of slasher films before this one. The film was directed by John Carpenter, who's work that I covered for Halloween Havoc I, he just come off from directing Assault on Precinct 13 and he was approached by producers Irwin Yablans and Moustapha Akkad to direct a movie for them about a psychotic killer that stalked babysitters. Carpenter agreed to direct the film and he has full creative control and was paid a whopping $10,000 and to write the film with producer Debra Hill. After the film's release, it became one of greatest and most influential horror films ever made and it spawned a film franchise. Plus, it has one hell of a confusing timeline, believe me, I know. (A picture of the movie's timelines is shown) You have the Sequel Timeline, the Anthology Timeline which is only one movie, the H20 Timeline, the Remake Timeline and the H40 Timeline that most people go with and ignore the sequels. We've got a lot of film to cover, so let's not waste any time.

"Let's take a look at the night he came home before Halloween Ends, this is Halloween." Sean said as a yellow captain saying Halloween '78 appears in front of him which he quickly pushes away. "No, no, no, no. It's just Halloween! No other film is called Halloween.

Suddenly the posters for Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween and the 2018 version of Halloween are both shown next to Sean.

"You win this round, movie." Sean said.

(The opening credits are shown featuring a pumpkin)

Sean: (Narrating) First off, I should really talk about the music for this movie. John Carpenter composed the music score for this movie and he gave us that iconic theme and this is one of his finest. When you hear this song, you think of Michael Myers just walking around in Haddonfield and stalking people.

(The Halloween theme plays during the opening credits)

Sean: (Narrating) It's eerie, it's mesmerizing and it's haunting, creating a dark, mysterious Halloween atmosphere. I also love that Donald Pleasence has top billing (as the camera zooms in on Donald Pleasence's name) over Jamie Lee Curtis. Oh, yeah. He's much more important than her, that dude is a fucking legend.

(The opening credits end and we see the credit "Haddonfield, Illinois" on the screen, followed by "Halloween Night 1963")

Sean: (Narrating) After the opening credits end, we open on Halloween Night in Haddonfield, Illinois and the year was 1963. We get a first person shot of somebody walking to the house and spying on two teenagers, who are immediately breaking the first rule in a horror movie…

Boyfriend (Played by David Kyle): Let's go upstairs.

Judith Myers (Played by Sandy Johnson): Ok.

(A clip from Scream is shown)

Randy Meeks (Played by Jamie Kennedy): You can never have sex.

"And immediately, you broke the first rule to surviving a horror movie." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) While the horny teenagers are busy having a spicy hormone sandwich, we continue with some more P.O.V. shots of the person entering the house wearing a clown costume and grabs a butcher knife from out of the drawer and waits until the boyfriend leaves.

Boyfriend: Look, Judith, it's very late. I gotta go.

Judith Myers: Will you call me tomorrow?

Boyfriend: Yeah, sure.

Judith Myers: Promise?

Boyfriend: Yeah.

"Boy, that must've been the shortest sex that they've ever had." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) After the boyfriend leaves, we see that the person named Michael Myers, heads upstairs to his sister Judith's room after he puts on a clown mask. And you know that this is a horror film from the late '70s because you get to see some naked boobies.

(Michael enters Judith's room and sees her brushing her hair and slowly walks over towards her as she stops brushing her hair and turns around to see her)

Judith Myers: Michael?

(Michael begins to stab Judith repeatedly)

"AAAAH! OH, MY GOD! WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOUR HAND WHILE YOU'RE STABBING ME? AAAAAHHHH!" Sean exclaimed while imitating Judith while Aaron and Sophia start laughing.

"You sound like a girl." Aaron said.

"Well, that's because I had to do it for comedic effect." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Michael walks out of the room and makes a b-line towards the door and out of the house until his parents arrive to see their son with a knife. Don't you just love how shocked Michael's parents are while they're just standing there looking at him while he's holding a knife? Yeah, like most John Carpenter movies, they tend to have some laughably bad moments: like this is my favorite scene of the movie, this opening scene. I was just waiting for the father to say, "Michael Myers, you've got a lot of explaining to do, young man.".

(We cut to a caption on the screen that reads "Smith's Grove, Illinois. October 30, 1978")

Sean: (Narrating) We then jump fifteen years later, on a dark, rainy night of October 30th, we meet Dr. Samuel Loomis, played by Donald Pleasence, who's driving to Smith's Grove Sanitarium, along with nurse Marion Chambers, played by Nancy Stephens and we get a mention on what they're dealing with here.

Marion Chambers (Played by Nancy Stephens): The only thing that ever bothers me is their gibberish. When they start raving on and on…

Loomis (Played by Donald Pleasence): You haven't anything to worry about. He hasn't spoken a word in fifteen years.

Marion Chambers: (Sighs) Are there any special instructions?

Loomis: Just try to understand what we're dealing with here. Don't underestimate it.

"See, this is another thing I love about this movie, it's Donald Pleasence's performance as Dr. Loomis

(A montage of clips featuring Donald Pleasence as Dr. Loomis is shown)

Sean: (Narrating) He plays this character so perfectly well, playing the obsessed therapist who's on the trail for Michael. He is just awesome in these movies and the reason why I go back to watching them. And I know what you're going to say, "But what about Malcolm McDowell in the Rob Zombie remake?". McDowell is good, but Pleasance is better. They give him the most badass speeches ever and trust me, we'll get to his best speech ever. Anyway, Loomis and Marion arrive at the main gate until they notice something very odd.

(Loomis and Marion notice several of the patients outside wandering in the rain)

Marion Chambers: Since when do they let them wander around?

Loomis: Pull up to the main gate.

Marion Chambers: Shouldn't we…

Loomis: Pull up! Move!

Sean: (V/O as Patient) My dog told me to shoot Buckwheat!

Sean: (Narrating) Loomis tells Marion to stop the car so he can get out and go check it out, leaving her behind in the car until Michael leap frogs atop her car and Marion rolls the window down like an idiot, giving Michael an opportunity to do this.

(Michael reaches inside to grab Marion, and Marion guns the vehicle)

"See? This is why you should never roll the window down when there's a psycho on the loose." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Michael goes all Grand Theft Auto on their asses and steals the car. We then cut to Haddonfield on Halloween and we're introduced to high school student Laurie Strode, played by Jamie Lee Curtis, who was about 19 years old at the time this movie was filmed. She's asked to drop a key off at the Myers house by her father and on her way to the house, she comes across the boy she's babysitting tonight, Tommy Doyle played by Brian Andrews.

Tommy Doyle (Played by Brian Andrews): How can you walk in the school this way?

Laurie Strode (Played by Jamie Lee Curtis): My dad asked me to.

Tommy Doyle: Why?

Laurie Strode: I have to drop off the key.

Tommy Doyle: Why?

Laurie Strode: Because he's gonna sell a house.

Tommy Doyle: Why?

Laurie Strode: Because that's his job.

"Okay, I love you! Bye-bye!" Sean said, imitating Mindy from Animaniacs.

Sean: (Narrating) Laurie goes to return the key to the Myers house but Tommy tells her that the house is spooky. Yeah, why would somebody want to live in that house? Shouldn't tell the person about the history of the house? In fact, why would you want to live in that house? A kid murdered his sister and it has been abandoned ever since.

"Can you imagine somebody doing something like that? It's like somebody moving into the Amityville house? Hey, let's go live in a haunted house. I'm sure that the devil won't kill us." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) But it looks like there's somebody living in that house. Well, mostly because Michael is there and he's keeping an eye on his sister or not sister, depending on what timeline you're going for. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis leaves Smith's Grove to track down Michael while he argues with hospital administrator Dr. Terrence Wynn, played by Robert Phalen respectively, and he blames him for his stupidity by letting Michael escape.

Dr. Wynn (Played by Robert Phalen): But he was your patient, Doctor. If precautions weren't strong enough, you should have told somebody.

Loomis: I've told everybody! Nobody listened.

Dr. Wynn: There's nothing else I can do.

"And this coming from the guy who's a part of the Cult of Thorn. Oh, wait. Let's forget about that abomination." Sean said, referencing Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers.

Dr. Wynn: Sam, Haddonfield is only 150 miles away from here. For God's sake, he can't even drive a car!

Loomis: He was doing very well last night! Maybe someone around here gave him lessons.

"See? This is why you shouldn't give killers a licence to drive." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Back in Haddonfield, we see that Laurie is getting caught up with some schoolwork, until she notices someone standing outside, watching her.

(Laurie sees a man standing outside by a car)

Teacher: How does Samuels' view of fate differ from that of Costaine's? Laurie?

Laurie Strode: M'am?

Teacher: Answer the question.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I got distracted by some guy wearing a William Shatner mask. What was the question again?" Sean asked.

Sean: (Narrating) By the time Laurie answers the question, she sees that the mystery man and the car is gone. Anyway, school is ending and Tommy is getting picked on by the bullies about the Boogeyman coming to get him.

"Hey, I would be afraid too if the Boogeyman comes to get me. He creeps me the hell out." Sean said as a picture of the Boogeyman from WWE is shown.

Tommy Doyle: Leave me alone!

The Boys: He's gonna get you, he's gonna get you, he's gonna get you, he's gonna get you!

Lonnie (Played by Brent Le Page): The Boogeyman is coming!

Tommy Doyle: Leave me alone!

Richie (Played by Mickey Yablans): He doesn't believe us.

Lonnie: Don't you know what happens on Halloween?

Tommy Doyle: Yeah, we get candy.

"Yeah, we get candy. And if we don't get candy, we'll play pranks on the adults who won't give us candy." Sean said as he grabs a carton of eggs.

Sean: (Narrating) The bullies continue to tease Tommy about the Boogeyman and they make him trip and fall on his pumpkin and we see The Shape, just busy watching Tommy walking away and getting into his car while we hear that iconic theme playing in the background. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis is on his way to Haddonfield, but first he calls the local sheriff to warn him about Michael Myers and that the town is in danger. Oh, and also Michael killed a mechanic and stole his boiler suit. Back with Laurie, she walks home with her friends Annie, played by Nancy Kyes, and Lynda played by P.J. Soles, as they talk about what teenage girls usually talk about, boys and stuff, until…

(Laurie, Annie and Lynda sees the Smith's Grove car driving past them)

Lynda (Played by P.J. Soles): Hey, isn't that Devon Graham?

Laurie Strode: I don't think so.

Lynda: I think he's cute.

(Michael Myers' car cruise by the girls walking home from school)

Annie (Played by Nancy Kyes): Hey, jerk! Speed kills!

(The car screeches to a halt)

Sean: (V/O as Michael Myers) Well, time for me to go kill a bitch.

Annie: God, can't he take a joke?

(The car starts up again and Michael drives away)

Laurie Strode: You know, Annie, some day you're gonna get us all into deep trouble.

Lynda: Totally.

Sean: (Narrating) So anyway, the girls continue their conversation and they go over their plans for Halloween night, which involves them doing some babysitting. Laurie babysitting Tommy and Annie babysitting for the Wallaces while Lynda has a date with her boyfriend Bob until Laurie suddenly sees Michael standing by the hedge.

(Laurie sees the Shape standing beyond a hedge, then he quickly disappears)

(A sound clip from WWE plays in the background)

Boogeyman: I am the BOOGEYMAN and I am coming to get YA!

Laurie Strode: Annie, look.

Annie: Look where?

Laurie Strode: Behind the bush.

"Hey, maybe he wants to say hi to you but he's a little shy." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Annie walks over to the hedge and sees that the Shape is gone and Laurie doesn't see him as well. After she drops Annie off home, Laurie bumps into her father, Sheriff Leigh Brackett played by Charles Cyphers.

Sheriff Brackett (Played by Charles Cyphers): You know it's Halloween, I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare, huh?

Laurie Strode: Yes, sir. Nice seeing you sir.

Sean: (Narrating) Later, Laurie heads over to the Doyles after Annie picks her up to drive her there. Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis arrives in Haddonfield and drives to the cemetery, only to find that someone grabbed Judith Myers' headstone from out of the ground.

Loomis: He came home.

Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Laurie and Annie are on their way to do some babysitting while smoking a joint and listening to Blue Oyster Cult's Fear the Reaper, until they see Annie's father standing by the hardware store. Uh-oh, looks like we better hide the weed. Hide the weed!

Sheriff Brackett: Hi Annie, Laurie.

(Laurie waves to Sheriff Brackett)

Annie: Hi, Dad. What happened?

Sheriff Brackett: What?

Annie: What happened?

Sheriff Brackett: Oh, somebody broke into the hardware store. Probably kids.

Annie: You blame everything on kids.

Sheriff Brackett: And all they took was some Halloween masks, a rope and a couple of knives. Who do you think it was?

"Maybe it was Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Keep a lookout for a man who's walking around the town making grunting noises. Find the son of a bi…" Sean said, but then looks at Aaron and Sophia, who's busy staring at him right when he's about to say a curse word. "I mean, the son of a Buster Bunny who's out there breaking into hardware stores."

Sean: (Narrating) Hell, I'm pretty interested to know how the hell that Sheriff Brackett didn't even smell the weed? Boy, that must've been some pretty sucky weed. I know what that stuff smells like… not that I smoke weed, but still. Shouldn't he smell it on them? Worst sheriff ever. Anyway, Michael Myers arrives to stalk the babysitters. But before he does all the killing, we see that Dr. Loomis and Sheriff Brackett have joined forces to track down Michael Myers as they head into his childhood home to find any evidence to see if he was there.

(Sheriff Brackett sees something in the corner)

Sheriff Brackett: Look.

Loomis: What? What is that?

Sheriff Brackett: It's a dog.

(Brackett and Loomis walk over to the other room and they find the dead dog)

Sheriff Brackett: It's still warm.

Loomis: He got hungry.

"I guess that dog was the other white meat." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) They continue to search around the house and they come across his sister Judith's room but there's no sign of him. And then we get one of his most awesome speeches ever.

Loomis: (On Michael Myers) I met him fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason… no conscience, no understanding in even the most rudimentary sense, of life or death of… good or evil, right or wrong. I met this… six-year-old child with his… blank, pale, emotionless face, and… the blackest eyes… the Devil's eyes… I spent eight years trying to reach him and then another seven trying to keep him locked up, because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply… evil.

"And I'm hard as hell." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Not only is Pleasence the best Loomis ever that I can take seriously, he gives one of the most badass speeches ever. Those movies are the reason why I keep watching them every year, just so I can listen to Donald Pleasence speaking. I can imagine Christopher Lee or Peter Cushing playing as Loomis and saying his badass speeches, but Pleasence delivers it. Yeah, this is the same guy who's known for playing Blofeld in a James Bond movie. He's that damn good.

"Mr. Pleasence, I love you. In any movie you're in, you can make it more awesome." Sean said as a poster for the movie American Rickshaw is shown. "Except for that movie. That was just horrible."

"Sean." Aaron said.

"Yeah, Aaron. What's wrong?" Sean asked.

"There's somebody standing outside." Aaron said, while looking out the window.

"Huh?" Sean asked as he gets up from off of the couch and walks over to the window. "Where do you see it at?"

"Over there." Aaron said, pointing to the bushes.

Sean looks out the window to see if there was anyone standing right by the bushes across the street from where his neighbors live, only to see that there's no one standing there.

"I don't see anything." Sean said.

"But I saw something." Aaron said.

"What did you see?" Sean asked.

"The Boogeyman." Aaron said.

"Dude, don't scare Sophia like that. There's no such thing as the Boogeyman. Unless it's the wrestler who eats worms, then I can be scared of that." Sean said.

What Sean doesn't know is that the Shape is standing outside, waiting to make his move on the young movie critic and we hear the sound of the Shape's breathing as he walks over to the other side of the house.

Sean: (Narrating) Back with Laurie, she's busy babysitting Tommy and he asks her an important question.

Tommy Doyle: Laurie, what's the Boogeyman.

(The phone rings and Laurie goes to answer it)

Laurie Strode: Doyle Residence.

Annie: (On the phone) It's me.

Laurie Strode: Hi, Annie. What are you doing?

Annie: Making popcorn. Having fun? Nevermind. I'm sure you are. I have big, big news for you.

(The dog Lester enters the kitchen and starts barking)

Annie: Oops. Hold on a minute. Hi, Lester. I'm about to be ripped apart by the family dog.

"Oh, so that's what it'll be like if John Carpenter directed Cujo." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, Annie is doing some babysitting three doors down and she's watching Lindsey Wallace, played by an extremely young Kyle Richards.

"So, this is pre-Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards? Yeah, grows up to be an extremely hot Real Housewife of Beverly Hills and she still looks smokin' hot in her 50s! Dude, if I wasn't dating Taylor and if she wasn't married I would so totally…" Sean said as he looks over at Aaron and Sophia while trying to contain himself from saying something inappropriate in front of them. "Uh… but then again, I'm sticking with someone who's my age. We're not gonna do that May-December thing. Again, Kyle Richards is married and I'm dating Taylor."

(We then see a caption on the screen that says: "But that wouldn't stop me from having sexual fantasies about her.")

Sean: (Narrating) And you wanna know what's funny? I get her confused with her sister Kim Richards, who's also on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and her sister was in the Walt Disney classics Escape from Witch Mountain and Return to Witch Mountain and she was also in this movie that's also directed by John Carpenter with memorable scene.

(A clip from Assault on Precinct 13, the 1976 version, is shown)

Kathy Lawson (Played by Kim Richards): I want a vanilla twist.

(White Warlord shoots and kills Kathy)

"Okay, that is one movie that I definitely want to review someday." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) While Laurie is on the phone with Annie, Tommy catches a glimpse of the Shape standing outside just watching, so he goes to warn her about it.

(Laurie looks out the window and sees that there's nobody outside)

Laurie Strode: Tommy, there's nobody outside. Go watch TV.

"So, I guess Michael Myers is Batman now." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) No, he's busy stalking Annie and watching her spill some stuff on herself and busy stripping out of her clothes. Ah, good 'ol '70s nudity and he comes across the dog.

(Lester walks over to Michael and barks at him)

Annie: Lindsey, Lester's barking again and getting on my nerves again.

(Lester stops barking)

Annie: Well, nevermind. Guess he found a hot date.

"And yet another dog that he killed. This is a really slow night for Michael." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Laurie and Tommy are busy watching The Thing on TV. The original version, not the 1982 John Carpenter movie. Dang, another movie for me to review for next year while Tommy asks her about the Boogeyman and that Richie said that the Boogeyman will come after him tonight.

Laurie Strode: Do you believe everything Richie tells you?

Tommy Doyle: No.

Laurie Strode: Tommy, Halloween night is when people play tricks on each other. It's all make-believe and I think Richie is trying to scare you.

Tommy Doyle: I saw the Boogeyman. I saw him outside.

"He was just standing there eating a bunch of worms and he was creepy-looking." Sean said, imitating Tommy.

Laurie Strode: Alright, the Boogeyman can only come out on Halloween night, right?

Tommy Doyle: Right.

Laurie Strode: Well, I'm here tonight. I'm not about to let anything happen to you.

Tommy Doyle: Promise?

Laurie Strode: Promise.

(A clip from Stranger Things is shown)

Eleven (Played by Millie Bobby Brown): Promise.

Sean: (Narrating) Back with Annie, she's busy washing some clothes until Michael Myers is busy stalking her and she ends up getting locked in the laundry room while Lindsey is busy watching a movie and answers the phone, and Annie's boyfriend Paul, played by John Carpenter, calls.

Lindsey Wallace (Played by Kyle Richards): (Answers the phone) Hello?

Paul (Played by John Carpenter): (On the phone) Hi, Lindsey. It's Paul, is Annie there?

Lindsey Wallace: Yes, she is.

Paul: Get her for me, will ya?

Lindsey Wallace: She's washing her clothes.

Paul: Look, just tell her it's me, okay?

Lindsey Wallace: Okay.

"I still want the vanilla twist that my sister wanted, Mr. Carpenter." Sean said, imitating Lindsey.

Sean: (Narrating) Lindsey goes over to the laundry room to find Annie, only to see her getting stuck in the window like Norm Peterson in an episode of Cheers and she finally talks to Paul and he wants to hang out with her, so she drops Lindsey off over at the Doyles and she goes in her car to pick up her boyfriend so they can do the deed.

(Michael comes up from behind Annie and strangles her)

Sean: (V/O as Annie) Oh, God! This feels very uncomfortable! AHHH!

"Geez, that definitely looks very uncomfortable. He's choking her like it's irritating her." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) And look at this, after he slashes her throat, it looks like he gave her a mind-blowing orgasm.

"What is that?" Aaron asked.

"Oh, great. Uh… it's uh… well, it's… just watch the damn cartoon, kid." Sean said.

"You said a bad word." Sophia said.

"I did not say a bad word." Sean said.

"It's a bad word." Sophia said.

"It's not that bad." Sean said.

"You said hell and damn." Aaron said.

"I did not say hell." Sean said.

"Now you did." Aaron said.

"Oy. Kids." Sean said, making a facepalm.

Sean: (Narrating) Back with Laurie, Tommy and Lindsey are busy watching a movie, so Tommy decides to hide behind the curtains to give Lindsey a little scare, but he ends up seeing the Boogeyman carrying a body and ends up scaring himself after bumping into Lindsey and freaks out as Laurie runs in to see what's going on and tells him that there's no Boogeyman. Back with Loomis, he's busy keeping watch on the Myers house to see if Michael returns, but he ends up seeing the three kids who were bullying Tommy about the Boogeyman and they dare him to walk up to the door and we get one of my favorite moments from the movie.

(Lonnie walks up to the front door of the Myers house and prepares to enter)

Loomis: Hey! Hey, Lonnie. Get your ass away from there.

(Lonnie and his friends run away from the house as Loomis smiles)

"Okay, seeing Donald Pleasence speaking jive would have to be the most hilarious thing ever. And you know what, he's having a lot of fun doing that. It's Halloween and he's getting into the spirit of things." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Sheriff Brackett meets up with Loomis to tell him that there's nothing out of the ordinary going on except for kids playing pranks, trick or treating and all that good stuff and he's not convinced and once we get another awesome speech from Loomis, Sheriff Brackett agrees to help him out.

Sheriff Brackett: All right, I'll stay with you tonight. Just in the chance that you're right, and if you are right, damn you for letting him go.

"And I mean that literally, Doc. Damn you. Damn you for letting him out. I just hope that nothing happens to my little girl." Sean said, imitating Sheriff Brackett.

Sean: (Narrating) In the meantime, Lynda and her boyfriend Bob, played by John Michael Grahamrespectively, arrive at the Wallace house drunk and they see that Annie is not home with Lindsey and they have the whole house to themselves, so what do they do?

(We see that Lynda and Bob are busy having sex in the master bedroom)

"And they break the most important rule in a horror movie, by having sex." Sean said.

"What's sex?" Aaron asked.

"Okay, you two. Cartoon time is over, time for bed." Sean said.

"But we want to watch Slappy the Squirrel." Aaron said.

"Too bad. Too much cartoon violence is going to rot your brain. Now, go to bed." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) After Bob give Lynda a mind-blowing orgasm, she needs something that would quench her thirst.

Lynda: Wanna beer?

Bob (Played by John Michael Graham): Yeah.

Lynda: Is that all you can say?

Bob: Yeah

Lynda: (Elbows Bob) Go get me a beer.

Bob: I thought you were gonna get me one.

Lynda: Yeah.

"Okay. You two morons just broke two rules in surviving a horror film: you had sex and you guys were drinking beer and smoking. Now, whatever you do, do not say "I'll be right back," because you won't be back.

Bob: I'll be right back.

"Oh, you stupid asshole!" Sean yelled out.

"You just said another bad word!" Aaron yelled from upstairs.

"I got another bad word to say to you and it won't be pretty, now get to bed!" Sean yelled.

Sean: (Narrating) Bob heads downstairs into the kitchen to grab a beer for him and Lynda, but then he becomes the next victim in Michael Myers' killing spree.

(Michael pops out of the closet and grabs Bob and shoves him against a wall, he holds him up several feet off the floor with one hand while he lifts the other hand. He is holding a butcher knife. Michael drives the knife into Bob, pinning him to the wall. Michael then takes a moment to admire his handiwork)

Sean: (V/O as Michael) Yep. Best kill for this movie. Time for me to go get the chick from Stripes.

Sean: (Narrating) Michael heads upstairs wearing a bedsheet over his body and Bob's glasses to fool Lynda by making her think it's him and she starts showing him her boobies.

Lynda: See anything you like? (Chuckles)

(Michael, disguised as Bob, stays silent)

Lynda: What's the matter? Can I get your ghost, Bob? (Laughs, then grows frustrated) Alright, alright. Where's my beer?

Sean: (V/O as Michael) Up your ass and around the corner.

Lynda: Well, can't you answer me?!

"Right, so how long until Michael kills her?" Sean asked.

(Laurie hears the phone ringing)

Laurie Strode: Finally.

(We cut back to Michael as we see him approaching Lynda, then back to Laurie as she answers the phone)

Laurie Strode: Hello?

(Michael strangles Lynda with the telephone cord)

Laurie Strode: Hello?

"Boy, this phone sex stuff is getting way out of hand. I've been known to make my girlfriend moan loud but this is ridiculous." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Michael kills Lynda by making it sound like she's having a mind-blowing orgasm. Laurie calls the Wallace house to see if Annie answers. She then checks on Tommy and Lindsey, who are both sleeping peacefully. Back with Loomis, he's still keeping watch on the Myers house and he sees the Smith's Grove car, sensing that Michael is around somewhere.

"And then, we come to one of my favorite shots of the film and it is done perfectly." Sean said.

(The scene is shown, in which we get a tracking shot of Laurie walking over to the Wallace house)

Sean: (Narrating) We get a little tracking shot of Laurie walking over to the Wallace house to check on Annie. You get that feeling of eeriness and dread when she walks over. John Carpenter's music score works perfectly for that scene. She enters the house to see what's going on and she doesn't see Annie, Lynda and Bob around. She heads upstairs and sees a slither of light coming from the master bedroom. She opens it, only to find Annie laying on the bed dead with the headstone of Judith Myers resting at the head of the bed. Laurie starts to freak out and she finds the dead bodies of Bob and Lynda. Christ, this movie is good! I would just love to point out that the movie's cinematographer was Dean Cundey. (A picture of cinematographer Dean Cundey is shown) And this was his first collaboration with John Carpenter. He also worked on other films like Big Trouble in Little China, The Fog, Escape From New York, Halloween II and Halloween III: Season of the Witch. He also collaborated with Robert Zemeckis on films like Romancing The Stone, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, the Back to the Future trilogy and he worked with Steven Spielberg on the films Hook and Jurassic Park. Now, that's one hell of a career. And since I'm mentioning stuff, I would also like to point out that the guy playing "The Shape" is Nick Castle, who's known for co-writing Escape From New York with John Carpenter and he directed the films TAG: The Assassination Game, The Last Starfighter, Tap, Dennis the Menace and Major Payne.

"That's right, folks. The movies that we grew up watching that Nick Castle directed played Michael Myers." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Michael appears from behind and slashes Laurie across her arm, causing her to fall down the stairs and crack her ankle and he goes after her while she tries to run out of the house.

Laurie Strode: Help! Somebody help me, please! Somebody help! Oh, God! Help me! Please! Please help me! (Falls to the ground, then gets up) HELP! Oh, God! Help me, please!

Sean: (V/O as Neighbor) Hey! Quiet down, will ya? I'm tryin' to watch a new episode of M.A.S.H. here! (Speaks normally as Laurie runs over to the Doyle's house and Laurie cannot find her keys) Boy, for a babysitter, she sure does suck at keeping her keys with her. Laurie wakes Tommy up to let Laurie inside and tells him to lock himself and Lindsey in the upstairs bedroom. We then see Laurie facing off with Michael and she proceeds to…

(Laurie grabs a knitting needle and stabs Michael in the neck with it. Michael takes a step back and pulls the knitting needle out of his neck and falls to the floor)

"...only to be stopped by getting stabbed in the neck with a knitting needle." Sean said.

Sean: (V/O as Michael) Gah! A knitting needle! My one true weakness!

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that killed him. Because you can never kill him." Sean said.

Sean: (Narrating) Laurie goes to check on Tommy and Lindsey and what a surprise, Michael is still alive after being stabbed in the neck. Laurie hides in the closet as Michael goes after her.

(Michael breaks the closet door)

Sean: (V/O as Michael) Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? I'm gonna kill ya! Ah-ha! I've found you! Easiest game of hide and seek that I've….

(Laurie hits Michael in the eye with a coat hanger)

Sean: (V/O as Michael) AAAAHHH! You crazy bitch! You just poked me in the…

(Laurie stabs Michael in the stomach)

Sean: (V/O as Michael) D'oh! A knife! My one true weak.. ugh!

(Michael collapses to the floor)

Sean: (Narrating) Oh, don't worry. I'm sure that he's dead. Laurie tells Tommy and Lindsay to go down the street to the McKenzie house to have them call the police. As they leave the house, Michael comes back to life. Loomis sees the kids running out of the house screaming so he goes over there to check it out. Michael tries to kill Laurie by strangling her, but then she suddenly rips his mask off his face and we see his face… and he's not a bad looking guy. He puts his mask back on his face and Loomis sees him and shoots him.

(Loomis shoots Michael six times, causing him to fall over the balcony ledge)

"Uh, there's one shot missing. You're supposed to shoot him seven times." Sean said.

Laurie Strode: It was the Boogeyman.

Loomis: As a matter of fact, it was.

Sean: (Narrating) And we get the perfect ending to a horror film ever as Loomis looks down on the balcony to see that Michael is gone and he has that creepy-ass stare in his face, knowing that he's still out there, somewhere. And we hear the sound of his breathing and we get the last shot of the Myers house.

(The film's credits roll)

"And that was Halloween and this movie is still an instant classic." Sean said.

(Clips from the movie are shown once movie)

Sean: (Narrating) This movie was a real game changer for the slasher genre. The score is iconic and well-known. It constantly holds people's attention all throughout the movie. It can start off a bit slow at first but then it gets going with some tense suspense and some creative kills. I think this movie works best if you look at it as a stalker-type thriller rather than a pure horror flick, which they turned it into a slasher with it's sequel. I enjoy it because Michael acts like a hunter stalking his prey instead of a pure murder machine. This is what scared people when they watch the movie: being stalked by something that you cannot kill. The acting was pretty good. Donald Pleasence is still awesome as always and Jamie Lee Curtis, still early in her career is pretty good at playing the final girl in the movie. If you haven't seen it in a while, then take another watch to relieve it's creepiness. Halloween comes in at 5 pumpkins out of 5.

"Well, that's all for today's review. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and…" Sean said, until he was cut off by the lights going out in the house. "Oh, what is this shit? I thought I told Taylor to pay the gas and electric bill. Or maybe it's just the circuit breaker."

Sean gets up from off of the couch and grabs a flashlight from off of the coffee table as he heads downstairs into the basement and walks towards the circuit breaker. As he makes his way towards it, he looks down at the floor to see a pair of shoes. The young critic looks away as he proceeds to fix the breaker. After he fixes the breaker, Sean began to notice Michael Myers just as the Halloween theme plays in the background.

"Holy shit!" Sean yelled out.

Michael slashes Sean's right arm with his knife, making the young critic scream out in pain. Sean immediately grabs a baseball bat and bashes Michael upside his head. After a slight pause, Michael proceeds to continue to pursue Sean. Sean runs upstairs to go check on Aaron and Sophia, but he sees the sibling standing in the living room.

"What the hell are you two just standing there?! Don't you know that there's a killer in this house?!" Sean asked.

"Use this." Sophia said as she hands Sean a DVD copy of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

"That'll work." Sean said.

Michael approaches Sean as he gets ready to kill him, but then the young critic takes the DVD disk from out of the case and throws it at Michael's head, making the killer collapse to the floor.

"That got 'em." Sean said before turning his attention to Aaron and Sophia. "Alright, you two. I want you to go out the front door and I want you to go down the street to the Wheelers' house… I want you to tell them to call the police. And tell them to send them over here."

"But Sean…" Aaron said.

"Now, do you understand me?" Sean asked.

"Yes." Aaron said.

"Go. Do as I say." Sean said as Aaron and Sophia leave the house as they both start running and screaming.

Sean then heads upstairs, then takes a moment to compose himself. He sighs a bit as he pulls his phone from out of his pocket and tries to call 9-1-1. Everything is fine, but Michael Myers comes back and begins to strangle Sean fatally to death. Sean twists and squirms and punches at him until he kicks him in the groin and pushes him away. Michael lunges at the young critic again until suddenly there is a thundering explosion and Michael is blown off his feet. Sean looks over to his right and sees a man with gray hair, wearing a suit and a dark grey jacket, standing at the top of the stairs. The man was revealed to be Dr. Martin Brenner from Stranger Things, and he is armed with an M1911 Colt pistol. Michael slowly gets up, refusing to die as Dr. Brenner continues shoot at Michael five more times until he falls out the bedroom window. We get a shot of Michael Myers on the ground… dead.

"Are you alright?" Dr. Brenner asked after he approaches Sean.

"About time you showed up, Doc. I just got question for you: was that the boogeyman?" Sean asked.

Dr. Brenner looks back at Sean and replies. "As a matter of fact… it was."

Sean gets up from off of the floor and heads downstairs, making his way towards the front door until he notices that Michael Myers has disappeared. His eyes widened in surprise as he sees a Looney Tunes-style imprint of Michael Myers on the ground. He looks around to find where he's at and sees a neighbor walking out of his house.

"Hey, what's going on?" The neighbor said.

"Hey! Call the police! Tell the sheriff! He's on the loose!" Sean exclaimed.

"Is this some kind of a joke? I've been trick-or-treated like death tonight." The neighbor said.

"You don't know what death is." Sean said.

The Halloween theme plays in the background as Sean pulls out his pistol and runs off looking for Michael Myers, knowing that he's out there… somewhere.

Michael Myers Will Return….

Mayhem Critic Tagline- Hey, Lonnie. Get your ass away from there.

And that was the review of Halloween. I hope you all like that little special guest appearance from Matthew Modine as Dr. Martin Brenner for this review. Don't worry, Michael Myers will return. This won't be the last time Sean will come face to face with him. Anyway, I hope that you all like the review. Next time on The Mayhem Critic, Sean enters the world of Tales from the Crypt when he reviews the movie Bordello of Blood, a film that bombed in theaters and yet it gained a cult following. Afterwards, I'm trying to pick which one should be the final movie for me to review for Halloween Havoc V. Which one should I review after Bordello of Blood? Here are the picks:

Misery

Scream 4

The Exorcist III

Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter (A tribute to Jason actor Ted White)

Which ones should I review after Bordello of Blood? Feel free to let me know. Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. Also, if you like to see more story-oriented plots for the reviews and that you enjoy them, feel free to let me know. If you want to co-review any of the movies with me, feel free to PM me if you're interested. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.