Time to continue the extremely long battle training arc… I've written 3 chapters for about 3 episodes of the first season…
Hans and Ojiro… won?
The two phrases would never collide inside Yaoyorozu's head when their opponent included Todoroki, the person with possibly the most powerful quirk in the class. Even her versatility paled in the face of the sheer scale of the ice that he could display during the recommended exam.
And Hans, the irritating, cynical midget with no heroic attitude to speak of…
Had just done the impossible?
"..." The whole class was silent as Shoji was finally wrapped up by Ojiro. Todoroki still lay on the icy floor he created himself, wrapped up in the capturing tape that a sentient tree, of all things, had been able to loop around Todoroki.
"Man, that was crazy lucky for Hans and Ojiro, right?" Kaminari said, scratching his hair and smiling. "But at least they won, so that's what counts, I guess."
"Yeah. They were pretty lucky." Sato muttered, crossing his arms and settling into a serious look that made him resemble a gorilla for some reason.
Yaoyorozu was about to nod, but then…
"No." Yaoyorozu said, suddenly. "As reluctant as I am to praise that infuriating child-"
"Yaoyorozu-shojo." All Might said, interrupting the statement. "Please respect your classmates."
Yaoyorozu thought about Hans's smug face and all the furniture she sold, and gritted her teeth. Still, she had to finish her point.
"Andersen-san's actions weren't luck at all. Do you really think that Hans would think that he could get lucky by letting a sentient tree launch a surprise attack onto somebody that also has fire as a quirk?"
Tokoyami narrowed his eyes, before looking through the monitors at Hans's appliances. Then, his eyes widened.
"He has exhibited such foresight. Surely, he must have learned how to peer into the darkness of our hearts."
"Not quite so dramatic, Tokoyami-san," Yaoyorozu said, "But Andersen-san has indeed utilized psychology to draw Todoroki-san into a routine of ease, and coupled with Todoroki-san's overconfidence and… his… hindered movement…"
"Hahahaha!" All Might's laugh boomed over the classroom, shattering the awkward atmosphere. "Young Yaoyorozu has correctly identified one important element of heroic operations, foresight! It is important to predict what villains will do based on what information you have on them. However, in real situations, Andersen-shounen might not have enough information to predict the moves of total strangers."
Soon, All Might zipped out of the room to collect the students still in the mock building. Carrying Shoji and Hans in one hand, and Todoroki and Ojiro in another, he quickly leapt back to the classroom.
Hans quickly shook himself free of the giant man's grip and smoothed out the creases on his jacket, before standing up and smiling at All Might like a loan shark would smile at an impoverished salaryman.
"Now, can I keep the fridge?"
"...We will retrieve your equipment at a later time, Andersen-san." All Might sighed, his smile faltering just a bit. "But for now, classes must continue."
"Thank you, All Might-san."
…
As students battled on the screen, so did Hans battle his will to interrupt the class and trade snide remarks. Hans closed his eyes and shook his head at the monotonous battles between a fist as hard as rock and Tokoyami's bird-like creature.
Now was a good time to recollect.
Hans… had seen some things during his brief activation of his Noble Phantasm. Despite the fact that his fingers ached like there would be no tomorrow and that he would be unable to fulfill the update schedule he had in mind for his webnovel, he had at least confirmed something.
The concept of a main character did exist. In fact, there were several that could be considered one.
However, he was now firmly in side character territory. And, with an analysis of Ojiro, so were most other people.
And an abundance of side characters usually meant… that somebody died. Or was a spy. But concerns of spying aside, Hans did not want to die. And even though his mind was too weak and unprotected to contain information about the truth of the timeline and the future events of the manga he had been summoned into, he knew that things were going to be bad, simply because he was in a shounen manga.
There were now two routes he could take to survive in this narrative. One, to be conspicuously absent on the day of whatever field trips or activities would occur. However, UA doesn't give an advanced notice of when things like battle trainings would happen, so that was definitely not a choice.
The second option?
Band together with a ton of side characters… and make them into main characters temporarily, thereby insuring his survival. His hands would suffer, but it would be crucial to his greater survival.
And if Midoriya was the protagonist, with his problematic power, Hans would never want to be the sacrifice in order to help him realize how to use it. Which meant that whenever they were in a crowd, Hans had to stay as far away as possible from Midoriya.
"Yes. That would be good." Hans nodded to himself, making sure to keep a mental note.
On the screen, Kirishima finally overcame Dark shadow, batted away Asui's tongue (which must have hurt for the frog girl), and, with one punch, turned the paper mache bomb prop into a pile of shredded paper.
Now that he was considering it, getting a couple of meat shields would be helpful too. With just the right narrative and heroic dream put into a narrative made for Kirishima, he could probably delay some imminent threat that used overwhelming physical force.
How did Hans know that there would be a threat that used overwhelming physical force?
Well, just look at the power of the protagonist. There had to be some insurmountable challenge for a protagonist to utilize their bullshit anime powers against.
…
The annoying battle exercise was finally over. Hans yawned as the many other students walked out of the room, discussing the battles excitedly.
Hans looked at their impressed and eager expressions… before slowly shaking his head.
How could anybody find enjoyment in an act they would soon be doing for at least ten to twenty years? Sure, fighting would get the adrenaline pumping, but it's not like there are entire armies of villains to stop for you all to have jobs.
Hans paused. Did he just trip a narrative flag?
Just as he entertained the possibility of there being several villain armies hidden in the streets of Japan, which by the way, had a huge homeless problem, a hand poked him in the shoulder.
He stiffened, before turning slowly to see Yaoyorozu's resigned expression.
"I lose."
"What." Hans said, flatly.
"I said, I lose!" Yaoyorozu whispered loudly. Many of their classmates filed past them quickly, Kaminari stopping to give Hans a quick wink and a pair of finger guns before swerving into a random hallway. Her hands were clenched, and her brow was furrowed. There was a hint of tears in her eyes, and her teeth were grit together just enough to express defiance. Still, her shaking body signaled her defeat.
Hans knew exactly what to say in this situation.
"I never knew there was a competition."
There was an awkward silence. Yaoyorozu took a satisfyingly slow step back, like most defeated villains would in generic mangas, and steadied herself once more.
"This wasn't?" Yaoyorozu whispered quietly.
"It was honestly just a series of me noting failures in the system that would piss off a lower-middle class person whose family is riddled with debt."
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't realize."
"Honestly, it's not even your fault that you keep arguing against me." Hans said, sighing. "It's more of a symptom of the highly hierarchical society that Japan is and your upbringing."
Yaoyorozu raised a finger. Then, she slowly put it down as her index finger curled back into her fist.
"...So, a ceasefire?" Yaoyorozu said. "No more snide remarks? No more pissing people off?"
"I should stop treating you like a spokesperson of a society that is mostly exclusive to us unorthodox quirk users, and actually as a classmate." Hans said, rubbing the back of his head. "I'll listen to what you have to say, and your side of the story…"
"And?" Yaoyorozu asked.
"I'll never change a thing." Hans said, sighing. "I'll admit that I'm an infuriating person that can't help but point out flaws like a cynic."
"...I guess that's accurate." Yaoyorozu said. "I'm normally a pretty nice person too, I think. But you…"
"I just rub you the wrong way, don't I?" Hans said. Now was the time for reconciliation number one to boost his count of side character meat shields!
He had to judge his next statement carefully.
"Well, nice to meet you, Yaoyorozu Momo. I'm Hans Christian Anderson. I hope we can get along." Hans said, spewing out a generic greeting and holding out a hesitant hand.
He really was terrible at interacting with women. Honestly, Kiara probably traumatized him.
Surprisingly, Yaoyorozu smiled, before reaching out and shaking Hans's hand.
"Nice to meet you too."
The two just walked towards the classroom for a bit, Yaoyorozu's tall figure contrasting with Hans's height.
"Still, how did you manage to plan for so many cases? I can see so many potential uses for your appliances that I can apply in my own strategy!"
Hans sighed inwardly. This girl had gotten a totally wrong impression of him, hadn't she?
…
The afternoon was quiet. Hans quietly shrugged on a jacket and looked at the train of his summons carrying the various items that he had been approved to take home. The alarm clocks were, surprisingly, not reduced to slag by the surrounding matches and Todoroki's apparently present fire powers.
He had just left the school, looking onwards as students began to flood to bus stations, bike stands, or in one certain student's case, a limousine.
Hans, however, was not going to take the subway today. Because behind him, the little mermaid was floating behind him, carrying a box of pens, while most of the other appliances, along with the refrigerator, were being dragged along by the elder tree mother. This odd combination drew several glances from UA students, but Hans paid them no attention. Instead, one other question was nagging at him.
"Does this count as public quirk use?" Hans said, scratching his head while passing an alleyway two blocks away from UA. Chansing a glance back, he saw a businessman walk out of an alleyway who cast him a weird glance.
Children walked past him, pointing at the tree woman who was carrying heavy appliances and the floating fish. Hans smirked and waved back at the little gremlins who would have adored his fairytales if only this society wasn't so saturated in hero culture.
Eventually, his twists and turns took him off the road that UA was on, and he began to wind down into the less luxurious neighborhoods. Soon, upper class homes with lawns and shrubbery gave way to crammed apartments and street food stands. Hans snagged a bit of takoyaki for the Little Mermaid, who had felt left out of all of the hero exercises.
It was honestly for the best that she didn't fight. Hans would rather that she not morph into a terrifying creature similar to a siren, considering her last transformation also ended in tragedy.
As if to mirror his thoughts, he stepped into one of his shortcuts and found… a small girl curled up in a box.
"This isn't suspicious at all." Hans sighed, looking at the girl shivering in the autumn afternoon. The girl felt almost… inorganic, but a soul, or something similar to it, was definitely present.
Being the responsible adult he was, Hans tossed the girl a match. Businessman that was apparently following him looked at the match in confusion.
"When you hold that match and think of a fire, it'll light." Hans said, walking past the girl. Sitting in the shadows, the girl's dark face looked up at Hans's features… and shrank further into the box.
Hans continued to walk down his shortcut. On the ground, he could see the marks left behind by Stain and that other chuuni fanboy as they fought that demon child thing. The roots of the Elder Tree mother flowed past those cracks and squeezed past the tight alleyways to emerge into a much smaller street, where Hans's apartment was. He turned and was just about to rest his tired legs by sitting down in the convenience store right on this street, but a sudden thought struck him.
He couldn't rest yet. There was still the businessman trailing him.
"You can stop being shady now." Hans said. "I know you have questions."
"You were more aware than I thought, UA student." the business man said. With a long, pointy nose and an orange tuft of hair, the businessman cut quite the figure. "I do, indeed, have questions."
"You could have just asked when you met me, then." Hans said, sighing. "Is this about All Might teaching at our school? Why there were five recommended students?"
"Nothing so grand, I assure you." the man smiled, and put his hands in his jacket pockets. "The question is simple. Why did you use your quirk to carry those things in broad daylight?"
Hans looked at the refrigerator, and then looked back at the businessman.
"What are you, an idiot? How was I supposed to get this stuff home from UA, then?"
"You… you… got those appliances from UA? How?" the businessman said, a glint of curiosity entering his eyes.
"Well, there may or may not be some loopholes in the support equipment request form."
"Nevermind that. As a UA student, why would you break quirk laws and use it to do something as mundane as carry something home?"
"Was I bothering anyone?"
"...No."
"Then why would anyone need to report me?"
There was silence for a moment.
"Yes… yes…" the businessman said. "Thank you for your time."
As Hans shook his head in exasperation and walked into the convenience store, the long-nosed man took out a phone started speaking into it.
"What, violence? No, no. Just peaceful protests. Showcase how quirks can be useful to society."
There was a bit of chatter on the other side.
"But if that doesn't work… We return to our old plans. Don't risk anybody powerful."
…
A child crawled out of the box, holding the match that Hans had dropped just a couple of minutes ago. Wreathed in shadows, it was still a blurry and vague figure. Its dress rustled in the wind, before one page of it was torn away and a movie poster flew away into the dumpster.
That face… that face!
Slowly, the movie poster golem's face cracked. A dark shade emerged out of the rips on the face, oozing out of the loose collection of posters.
The child wasn't a child.
With the new, pending release of the post-quirk Little Mermaid remake, it had been sustaining itself off of the populace, draining mana from people anticipating the movie, and the nostalgia and … other strong emotions … that came with having Kiara as the lead actress.
That annoying green lizard and the human with no nose had been hunting it for several weeks now. Its birth had been delayed for far too long.
But it was born a week ago. And now, shedding the cover of the posters, it swirled and gathered around the match.
The match was delicious. Made of magic sourced from a different dimension, yet supplemented with the beliefs of this world.
But much more importantly, it was a link to its creator. The creature swirled around the match, absorbing the blotch of red into its pure black essence.
It was sourced from a little girl that feared the cold, and it yearned to take that form.
Yet, the dark energy that sourced it would not allow it. Its summoner had brought it to life with foul mana and a fairytale book while dreaming of the blue haired creator.
So, if it couldn't be the protagonist, it had to settle for being the antagonist.
The figure shivered, before it melted into a puddle of darkness that molded itself into the alleyway shadows. Slowly, a sense of unnatural cold gathered inside the alleyway, emanating a sense of dread and hopelessness.
The match was now gone, and only the red, chemical head of the match remained. It turned into a dot of red and reappeared on top of a brick.
It could now see. But it was not content with its form. It yearned to reunite with their creator. To consume their tales like they had the match. To become its creator.
And to bring the creator back to the summoner. Only then would they overtake this disgusting culture focused on heroics and silly superheroes, and the tales of Hans Christian Andersen would be everywhere. Then, it would be everywhere.
And, now with Hans's mana fueling the dissolved match's existence in it, the creature now knew where Hans was.
But it couldn't move from the alleyways that sustained the antagonist of the story which contained the match. It had to wait for another form, a more mobile form.
A poster of the little mermaid was blown away in the wind, and the red dot that was its eye looked at it enviously.
Soon.
…
I guess that's it for this chapter. It's almost been a month now…
Well, the USJ is coming up next, and I can't believe how much more complicated everything is going to be now that I'm adding even more villains and side characters to the side character festival that is BNHA.
I'm just saying this now: I'm stopping at the Kamino arc. I do not pretend to understand anything that happens afterwards.
Also, Hans couldn't sense the creepy child thing/movie poster demon because it was way too weak, and any further weirdness would probs be considered quirk bs.
Speaking of quirk bs, I wonder who the pointy nosed businessman is.
FGO gacha rates are kinda trash ngl. No gold servants at all since I posted chapter 6… Pain…
Discord link: discord . gg / 9t9MK3jHmV (get early access while I write and all that stuff)
-SpiritOfErebus
