Chapter Two:
Edith's Light Bulb


Edith sluggishly rubbed her right eye as she plodded down the spiral staircase, the shine of early morning radiating across the downstairs hall. She'd spent much of this week practicing her shuriken throwing skills, but now that she'd improved upon that, it was important that she returned to her katana. Every aspect of her skills needed to be perfected until she was literally the best ninja to ever exist in the history of all humankind ever!

A few more weeks of practice should do it…

She'd snuck down to the underground lab yesterday, just before bedtime, and yanked as many items as she could carry from the dozens upon dozens of shelves that lined the place. Every single invention she'd taken, she intended to split into two perfectly sliced pieces. Dr. Nefario probably won't mind…potentially.

She wandered into the closet, the place where she'd stashed her stolen goods, and reached for the light switch. However, just before she could flick it on, the door to the living room opened and her parents entered the hallway, one more mobile than the other. Edith quickly leaped inside and swung the door behind her, ensuring to leave it marginally ajar. Guess it's time for one of her new favorite activities.

Eavesdropping.

"Now, make sure yoo are getting plenty of de rest." Gru watched as his wife limped closer, the same frown from yesterday still upon her face. It appeared that sleeping on that mission's events had not improved her mood very much. "Take it easy, watch some TV, read a book…" She took another step forward and let loose a pained hiss when her ankle buckled, something that drew a gritted-teeth look from her husband. "Uhh, maybe don't walk around too much."

"Gru, it's bad enough that I can't go on this mission with you…" She looked down at her bandage-swathed foot with a fiery scowl. "This thing will not stop me from walking."

His downtrodden eyes observed her glumly. He really couldn't describe how guilty the idea of leaving her behind made him feel. In fact, when he woke up this morning with a huge change of heart, he very nearly rang up the AVL head office and told them to stick their assignment where the sun doesn't shine. Lucy had snatched the phone from his grasp at the last moment.

Sighing, he took her hands in his own. "I'm so sorry I have to leave, Lucy."

"It's fine, Gru. For real." She leaned against the living room doorway for added support as she looked back at him. It was easy to discern his thoughts from the expression he was giving her, and though she was definitely the one in the more frustrating position, she conjured a little smirk to hopefully lift his spirits. "I'd much rather miss out on one mission than let you get fired and miss out on all of them."

"B-but…" Gru once again glanced at her injury. He'd been doing that a lot, ensuring that it wasn't getting worse. "I should be here to take care of yoo."

"I can look after myself. It's only a sprained ankle, after all." Her eyes glanced to the right as two short figures dashed around the corner at pace. The gentle smile on her face evolved into a much larger variant. "Besides, it's not like I'm on my own."

"Mom! Mom!" Agnes raced over to stand before them, with Margo hot on her heels. The smile on her face briefly gave way as she observed the bandage. "Are you still hurting?"

"Eh, a little." Lucy shrugged, glancing between them joyfully. "Nothing a little fun can't fix though, huh!?"

"Well, we were thinking, since dad's gonna be gone…" Margo momentarily turned to Gru, who appeared to be growing sadder by the situation as time progressed. "How about some mother-daughter bonding time?"

The memory of the Freedonia cheese festival came flooding back to Lucy in an instant. The way Margo had exclaimed those three words almost exactly how the still-learning mother had that day made her beam even brighter.

"Sure sounds good to me!"

"EEEEE!" Agnes released an ear-piercing screech and bounced on the spot elatedly. "I'm so excited!"

The two young girls sprinted into the living room, leaving Lucy to chuckle as she watched after them. Her gaze eventually traveled back to her husband, who was still visibly depressed. Pointing at the watch on her arm, she cocked her head to the side.

"Better be heading off, honey. You know how Valerie gets when people are late." Smiling, she balled her fist and held it out in front of her. "Give that villain's butt an extra kick for me, okay."

Finally, Gru let loose a smirk.

"Sure thing." He leaned in to give her a much-needed kiss. "I will be seeing yoo later."

"See you later. And hey!" She recalled his attention just before he could fully turn away. "Don't worry, I'll be tickety-boo real soon."

She grinned and winked at him. Gru's smile trebled in size.

Edith was still sneakily viewing the conversation from the closet. Once Lucy closed the living room door behind her, Gru heaved a large sigh and slowly traipsed towards the front door, which swung open before he could fully approach. Kevin, Stuart, & Bob were standing at the top of the steps, holding a bunch of high-tech spy gear and energetically pointing towards the driveway. It only took a moment for one of them, namely Stuart, to dangerously tumble backward while doing so.

She watched as he half-heartedly listened to their minionese rambles with his shoulders slumped. He was wearing the same expression that he held on the couch yesterday evening. The tomboy couldn't remember when she'd last seen him so frequently upset, and it kinda sucked to stand here and witness it. It was extremely obvious that he really didn't want to head off on this mission alone.

Edith's eyes expanded in size.

"Light-bulb…"

Getting on her tiptoes, she eagerly flicked the light switch on and spun to observe the ninja suit hanging from the railing. That excited expression then dipped to the black boots and socks that sat beneath them. If this very idea was curling her lips into a glowing smile, then imagine how awesome it would be if she went through with it…

"No, no, no, Kevin…" Gru raised his hands to halt the minion as he carried the fart gun into the tank, right before he could place it amongst the rest of the gear. "I'm not taking that thing with me."

Kevin glanced at the 'weapon' and shrugged. "Kamu ini pengin?"

"No, I don't want it." Gru rolled his eyes with a sigh, as he stepped inside and double-checked that he had his freeze ray. Sure enough, he'd put it in the pile, amongst all the other items that he may need for an AVL mission. "De fart gun is not even that powerful. It will just turn me into a big laughingstock."

The minion frowned at that response and mischievously peered behind him, where Stuart was marching across the front yard with the grapple hook in hand, happily whistling to himself. As he went to step inside the vehicle, Kevin spun 180 degrees and pressed the trigger, shooting a very thick, swamp-colored gas directly into his face.

Stuart froze on the spot, rapidly blinked for a second, and then collapsed backward onto the lawn in an unconscious heap. Kevin cackled and turned back to his master, the large barrel aimed upwards threateningly. Gru, with a single anxious glance at the minion's ready and itching finger on the trigger, yelped and desperately leaped to the right.

"Okay, okay! Yoo have made your point!" He waved a hand toward the rest of the gear. "I guess it worked against El Macho…"

Kevin victoriously grinned and lobbed it into the pile, leaving Gru to frustratedly climb into the cockpit in defeat. The moment the minion stepped out of the vehicle, the bald man pressed a button on the console and shut the tank's door. Sighing, he planted his head into his hands. It had been a while since he'd gone on a mission without Lucy. If this was going to be anything like last time, this was about to suck

Kevin dragged Stuart's limp form behind him as he climbed back up the steps and into the house, where he marched through to the kitchen to find some bananas, the smell of which will almost certainly revive him. Bob was happily blowing raspberries as he followed shortly behind, his beloved teddy bear held high above his head. The moment the short minion stepped into the mansion, a sound to his left made him pause.

"Pssttt…" Bob turned to find Edith decked in her ninja gear, with her back pressed against the shadow-covered wall to obscure herself. She leaned her head into the light and pulled the mask down her face, eyes studying him with a very conflicting mix of epic stoicism and giddy excitement. "Can you open the door to dad's tank?"

"Ummm…" Bob lowered his arms to rummage through the back pockets of his overalls. After a moment, he unveiled a small, red-buttoned device. "Si!"

"Good. Hiyah!" She suddenly leaped out into the doorway in an epic ninja stance, making Bob blink and step away in surprise. However, when Edith spotted her dad already in the cockpit of the enormous vehicle, she decided to replace 'looking cool' with 'proceeding fast' and turned to give Bob a manipulatively adorable smile. "Could you do something for me?"

After giving himself a second to mentally prepare, Gru finally took his head out of his hands and started the engine up. But, before he could press his foot on the accelerator, the whizzing sound of the door opening underneath brought him to a pause. Frowning, he called out.

"Who is there!?"

Bob watched as Edith sneakily climbed into the vehicle and found herself a hiding position under the table, where she pulled the mask back over her face. Lifting a finger to her lips, she nodded at Bob, who could only stutter and speedily scour his little brain for an excuse.

"U-uh, bee day a do, ummmm…" He paused for a second. "Peeze pay!"

"Yoo forgot de freeze ray?" Gru pulled a quizzical look. "But I was de one who-"

"Buh-bye!" Bob pressed the button to shut the door again.

Gru, puzzled, finally looked behind, where he saw the short minion scamper back across the front yard and into the house. He continued to glare backward in complete befuddlement for a short while longer, before shaking his head and dropping it. Whatever he was up to, he didn't want to know right now. Besides, like Lucy had said, Valerie doesn't like it when people turn up late for assignments.

The moment the vehicle started moving, the smile on Edith's face grew tenfold. It was difficult to contain her excitement, yet she knew it was important to do so to stay hidden. Softly snickering, she tightened a grip around the nunchucks in her hand and whispered to herself.

"It's time for this ninja's first mission…"


Gru held both hands behind his back as the elevator transported him through the AVL headquarters. He arrived at the main HUB and began his short journey across the walkway, where Da Vinci was waiting behind her desk with a fierce scowl; a sight that wasn't particularly remarkable.

"You are four minutes and forty-eight seconds late, Agent Gru." She leaned forward in her seat and aimed a manicured nail in his direction. He came to a stop at the table and merely observed her in exhaustion. "CCTV spotted you entering the building six minutes ago. It does not take that long to get up here. What have you been doing!?"

He shrugged. "I needed to use de restroom."

"Restroom!? Do we pay you to urinate during company time!?"

In response to such a question, Gru's features scrunched up in befuddlement. He knew the AVL director could be pretty strict with, well…everything, but this kind of grievance seemed a little too far even for her. Valerie appeared to pick up on that too, because after a puzzled pause, she swung up a hand and proceeded without an answer.

"Listen, the Anti Villain-League has been blindsided and I'm not happy about it!" She leaped from her seat and grabbed a small remote from the desk. "It appears that the in-hiding villainess we sent you to find is no longer in hiding."

Gru kept the sarcastic response to that 'revelation' from his tongue. Considering all the time he and Lucy had wasted in that office building yesterday, he wasn't in need of such a clarification.

"Yes…" His eyes dropped to the floor for a spilt second. "What was her name again?"

"Pandora." The venom laced in her tone as she uttered that word could rival a king cobra. She clenched one of her fists and jabbed a finger on the remote, flicking an image of a mountain surrounded by dense woodland onto the enormous screen beside them. "She attacked a cave in this location last night. She must've known that we'd enlisted a group of archeologists to study the area and ambushed us while our pants were down."

Gru, exchanging a brief glance with her, studied the image for a short period, visibly overwhelmed. "Umm, okay? Am I missing something here or-"

"Would you let me finish!" He blinked at her sharp yell. After they'd fallen into a silence, he could be forgiven for thinking that she already had. "Pandora has been on the run ever since she stole a high-tech vaporization staff from a government facility two weeks ago." She clicked the remote again, electing an image of the staff in question to appear. "Obviously, that's more than enough grounds to detain her on its own. Intelligence, however, believes that she stole it for a very concerning reason."

Valerie's gaze dropped to the metal flooring, sharpened heels tapping on it in contemplation. After another period of silence, she released a low sigh.

"Are you well-versed in Greek mythology, Agent Gru?"

"Huh?" The man frowned at the odd question. He didn't have much of an idea on how to answer it, but regardless, another harsh look from the director forced a response out of him. "I, uh…cannot say I am, no."

"Hmm…" Valerie waited another moment before pressing the 'back' button on her remote device, bringing up the image of the mountain again. "Pandora has entered that cave and is currently searching for a tomb. When she finds it, she'll use that staff to open it. Inside, she believes there's a box…"

She ended the explanation there. Gru gazed into her very direct stare with an empty look, clearly still unsure about what she was trying to say. He wished to inquire further, but judging on how extra agitated she was this morning, he debated whether that was a viable option. Thankfully, after mulling over her earlier question and focusing more heavily on that final, emphasized word, he figured it out on his own.

"Wait, as in…Pandora's Box?" He raised an eyebrow. "De box that curses all of humanity if it's opened? That thing?"

The director placed her hands behind her and turned away from him. "Yes."

Gru furrowed his brows, staring incredulously at the back of her head. "Ehhh, isn't that a, yoo know…myth?"

Valerie snorted.

"Agent Gru. When villains have used ridiculous things like zodiac stones, PX-41 serums, giant laser robots, shrink rays…" She took that opportunity to look over her shoulder, to glare poisonously at him. He quickly evaded eye contact. "Don't you think it's better to air on the side of caution?"

Gru cleared his throat apprehensively.

"Yes, I…I suppose so." He turned to closely analyze the scenery on the screen. "So, why would a box from Greek mythology be in an American mountain?"

She sighed. "I have no idea! All I know is that the archeology team found the tomb, so…there's definitely something in there."

"I guess yoo need me to go there and stop her, hmm?"

"Yes. Not just that, however." She spun back around, one hand gripped on her hip. "I sent Agent Lynn to guard the tomb while you were searching for Pandora. Obviously, that didn't work out so well. She hasn't responded since the attack." She grabbed a small device from the desk and walked over to hand it to Gru, who looked down to find a set of coordinates upon the screen, likely the location of the cave. "Focus on apprehending her, but…maybe rescue her too."

He frowned at her laissez-faire approach to Lynn's safety but chose to say nothing. Taking the device, he turned and headed back across the walkway.

"Oh, and Gru!" She called out just as he entered the elevator. Reclaiming her seat at the desk, she leaned back into her chair and sighed. "Try not to trip over..."

Another frown appeared, and this time, he opened his mouth to angrily respond. The elevator doors closed before he could manage a single word.

Edith had waited about ten minutes or so before she risked crawling out of her hiding spot, when she was fairly certain her dad had made considerable distance away from the vehicle. Where had they stopped? Was she already at the evil villain's lair? Were there dozens of bad guys waiting outside the tank, ready to pounce and catch her off-guard?

Fat chance that was happening. If anyone was getting caught off-guard, it was them, when a little ninja appeared and cracked them around the head with a pair of nunchucks. With the aforementioned weapon in hand, she approached the door to the vehicle and reached for the button to open it.

Wait! She yanked it back. Getting a view from the cockpit first is a good idea…

The pride on her face was palpable. She was already a natural at this whole 'tactics' thing! Not many other kids her age would've thought of that. Her direction changed and she climbed up the ladder to the higher portion of the vehicle. She swung her arm up to the final bar in an animated manner, before very slowly lifting her head up until her eyes were poking over the top. With an eager smile spread across her lips, she clenched her fist and prepared herself for the crazy location that she was about to-

She was in a parking lot.

Frowning, she fully straightened and spun around 360 degrees. Aww, she was only at the AVL headquarters. She and her sisters had been here before, when Lucy stopped by to grab some reports from her office before she dropped them off at school. This wasn't exactly anything new…

She was hoping for a creepy villain hideout with super awesome weapons on the walls and evil bad guys patrolling the place. All that was here were rows of standard-looking cars and a few suited employees strolling around with briefcases in their hands. To emphasize exactly how lame she found that, she focused on two agents in particular, a man and a woman, and stuck out her tongue in their direction.

They'd been casually conversing when the sight of a young, pink-hatted blonde girl decked in a ninja suit inside a massive metal tank sticking her tongue out at them made them pause in absolute befuddlement. The moment they looked up at her, she added to her disapproval by also blowing a raspberry against the glass. The agents glanced at each other, decided it was best not to question it, and changed direction to walk away from the vehicle.

She sighed. Was this it? Was Gru only spending the day at the headquarters? Was that all this 'mission' was? Maybe she should've eavesdropped a little closer before doing this so impulsively. Now, if that truly was the case, she was about to be stuck inside the tank for more than a few hours, with nothing to do but lounge around in bored-

Gru's coming back!

Eyes widening, she immediately ducked her head when she spotted him leaving through the front entrance of the large building. She climbed back down the ladder at a hazardous speed and cooped herself up in her previous hiding position, where she sucked in a large breath; a method of ensuring that she didn't give herself away by breathing. She watched in silence as the door swung open and her dad re-entered the vehicle.

"Pfft, pandora's box." He grumbled under his breath. "What a load of baloney…"

Edith's curious yet nervous eyes followed him as he climbed up into the cockpit and started the vehicle again. Another smile curled beneath her black mask when they drove out of the parking lot and got on their way again. Alright, panic over! She was heading to a creepy hideout! There was gonna be a bunch of bad guys!

And she WAS about to kick some serious butt!


It was finally complete. They'd found the tomb.

Pandora's guards had suggested interrogating the location out of their little AVL hostage. She laid but a single glance upon the agent before deducing that it would be pointless. This Anna person was merely a cog in the machine. She didn't know where the tomb was. If only they'd grabbed one of those archeologists before they scampered off like rats; it would've saved them a night of searching.

This cave was like an infinitely looping maze. There were so many diverging paths and alluring dead-ends. It was the perfect place to house the box. As they approached the door made of stone, bordered with the expected marble, Pandora lovingly observed the many engravings that surrounded the walls in awe.

Yep! This place was perfect.

"Stop struggling!"

Her amazement was interrupted by a yell from one of her exhausted and angered guards. She turned to find him yanking the tied-up AVL agent into the passageway, where he roughly sat her down against the wall.

"Hey, hey, take it easy on her." She approached Agent Lynn and crouched in front of her, a hand swatting the guard away. They'd strapped her mouth shut with duct tape, preventing the countless mix of threats and pleas that she'd been gushing earlier. Now that they'd finally found the tomb, Pandora no longer cared to stop her talking. She ripped it off her face. "We should have some sympathy. It's already difficult enough living a complete waste of a life, right?"

"You-" Anna coughed and took in a large breath. "You need to let me go. This has nothing to do with me."

"You decided to come here. So, now…" The villainess leaned in close to issue the rest of her words in a whispered tone. "It has everything to do with you."

Pandora reached out her right arm. One of the guards placed a tall yellow staff, which possessed a glowing red orb at the top as well as a button of the same color in the middle, into her grasp. Anna's eyes widened into saucers as she held it in front of her. Her gaze pleadingly switched between the purple woman and the high-tech weapon.

Pandora smiled at her fear. "You know what this is, don't you?"

Anna nodded. "Y-Y-Yes."

"That doesn't surprise me. However, tell me this..." She pushed the weapon closer toward Anna. The glow of the orb was beaming into her eyes, causing them to sting somewhat. "Do you know why I brought it here?"

Anna was practically whimpering as she continued to push it closer to her. "P-Please…don't vaporize me."

Pandora cackled.

"Ahh, so..." After another few moments of continuing to push it closer and closer to the hostage, she pulled it off to the side and simply grinned at her. "You clearly don't. I wouldn't use it on someone as worthless as you."

She stood up straight again and promptly turned back towards the door. She could hear Agent Lynn's audibly loud relieved breaths to her side. Though she found that slightly amusing, the rapid thump of her heart was now taking precedence. She stepped forward, fingers running themselves up and down the staff.

"Twenty-seven years." She muttered softly. "Twenty-seven years…"

She lifted the staff in front of her, the orb's light aimed in the direction of the tomb's door. Like the hostage she'd just been terrifying, her breaths were now rolling out at a heightened pace. She blinked rapidly, internally questioning her own readiness. If only she could've had another few days in that abandoned building. Maybe then she'd be more mentally prepared…

She shook those thoughts away.

No. This was as prepared as she'll ever be. Determination invaded every cell. A smile found its way back onto her face. Her fingers continued gliding down the staff until they hovered above the button. Where finally...

"It's time."

She pressed it.

WOOOSHHHHH!

The light from the vaporization staff was intense. Everyone in the room, apart from Pandora, averted their gaze. The blast that emerged from the orb shuddered into the wall, boring into the stone and marble. It began to melt at an unprecedented rate. After nearly twenty seconds, the door finally collapsed, and the entrance to the tomb had been opened. She promptly took her finger off the button.

The moment the searing light had dissipated, Anna and the guards slowly reopened their eyes and gazed into the small room before them. The walls inside the tomb were covered in even more cryptic writings, with even a few markings brandishing the extremely dusty floor. However, nothing stood out more than the marble pedestal positioned in the center, where sure enough…

The box was sat atop.

Tears flooded Pandora's eyes. She lowered the staff out of her vision and only stared forward, her lower lip trembling.

"I knew you weren't lying…" She inhaled a heavy breath to calm her quivering voice. "I just knew it."

Her legs began striding forward on their own accord. Each step she took was slow and methodical, like she was traversing a minefield. It took some time for her to finally make it to the pedestal, where a shaking hand gradually reached for it. She halted before she could fully commit to touching the box. She shouldn't.

It wasn't yet time.

After another period of tense silence, she turned back towards the rest of the on-looking eyes, a tear streaming down her cheek. She used the raised hand to brush it off her face, where slowly, her smile bent maniacally.

"Soon…" She cackled. "My fate will be fulfilled."