"No matter what happens, I'm gonna save you" was the thought that repeated in Subaru Natsuki's head

"I failed…I failed" Subaru said in his weak and regret filled voice "What do I do now? What am I going to do? What is the point now…Emilia…Rem, Ram, Petra, Otto, Puck, Beatrice…WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO DAMNIT!"

Subaru puts in all of his energy to get off the ground, even struggling to do that action, for his mind was filled with far too many degrading, demeaning, and awful thoughts about himself

"Emilia.." Subaru could feel nothing but sorrow "I couldn't be the hero I needed to be" Subaru mourned, picking up Emilia's corpse and holding her lifeless form tight in his arms lest the worms degrade her body

"Where do I go now?" Subaru thought to himself, only two answers coming to him "Go back to Roswaal's mansion or get to Rom's loot house" Subaru thought about it harder and came to a conclusion "There's no point in going back to Roswaal's mansion, everyone there is..dead and I don't need to see the aftermath of Puck's battle with Petelgeuse"

Subaru remembered that name, Petelgeuse, a name he absolutely despised, detested, wanted to spit on and crush with all his might, but oddly could only agree with "He was right, by my 'sloth' I killed her, Rem and Emilia, this…this was my fault"

Subaru thought back to the question he asked himself "Right, no point in Roswaal's place and Reinhardt's place is too far so Rom's loot house it'll be" Subaru had decided and began walking out of the forest back on the road, Emilia's corpse still clutched in his arms

As Subaru got closer to the road he began to notice something covering the trees and ground "Is that snow?" the snow became more common as Subaru continued walking towards the road. "Did Puck…do this?" Subaru wondered to himself, unable to see who had won the battle between the two

Subaru had reached the road and began walking towards the direction of Lugunica's capital, he soon reached Arlam village or…the remains of what once was Arlam village

Subaru paid little heed to the massacre that happened as he passed through, already witnessing the littered amount of corpses twice now, he needed to get to Rom or atleast any person who could help him

Hours had passed with Subaru walking on the empty road, not once did he see any carriages or passerbys, only emptiness. It had reached mid-day already and the sun was setting, orange had filled the skies once again but Subaru soon noticed something else in the air

"Fog" was Subaru's only thought, his eyes widening at the realization, "Why didn't I remember, that damn whale is attracted to my scent and my actions from the day before only drew it closer"
Subaru stopped but the fog was only getting more intense, the whale was approaching him. "I really am a stupid...worthless…slothful…fucking…piece of TRASH" Subaru bit onto his lip, he wanted to harm himself or maybe even bite his tongue off but he knew that he won't have to do that, Subaru knew the whale will finish it for him

The fog only got more intense, Subaru had no intentions of running away, he absolutely deserves this was what he thought to himself. "I'm sorry Emilia, but maybe I could be a bit happy with this death since in this way nobody will remember the loser that was Subaru Natsuki" Subaru laid Emilia's corpse onto the ground and began running towards the massive shadow that had appeared soon after "The world doesn't…no, shouldn't forget you Emilia, only me, only I need to be forgotten"

"You want to take me!? Then do it! I, Subaru Natsuki, the man who caused the deaths of my friends, the man who failed his single promise to save the girl I loved, absolutely deserve this! So take me you fucking monster, take me!" Subaru shouted at the White Whale, laced with sobs and his arm held high showing no resistance

The White Whale only groaned at the boy's suicidal cry, the whale only cared about satisfying its hunger, and its going to get a easy picking this time around

Subaru could only watch as the whale's fog surrounded him and continued intensifying until it was the only thing he could see, and then he heard the loud groan of the whale, its shadow quickly approaching and mouth wide open. Subaru was about to be consumed by the White Whale, and the only thing that he could think to himself before his death was "This is my punishment for failing you Meilee" his nickname for the woman he loved dearly, now gone, Subaru's eyes gave out a flash of tears before-

At that moment, Subaru Natsuki had lost his life

Subaru opened his eyes "The beautiful morning sky" are the first thoughts Subaru has. He turns his head and notices Emilia's corpse next to him, Subaru feels like a frown will be the only facial expression he could ever have from now

"So the road to the capital is blocked by the White Whale, well my hands are forced, Roswaal's mansion it is" Subaru got off the ground and held Emilia's corpse in his arms, off he went

His memories of his surroundings only improves each time he dies, he's gotten to the main road faster than last time and begun walking in the opposite direction from before

"I wonder how the aftermath looks…wait what if Puck is still there or Rooswal got back and they try to kill me?" Subaru began thinking about death again. "If Puck or Rooswal kills me and I get sent back to that forest then what am I even supposed to do? Wait around a couple hours until the Whale starts chasing after other people?" Subaru's mind was filled with fear, he did not want to wait anymore, he did not want to spend anymore time in this situation

Ten minutes had passed and Subaru reached the gates of Roswaal's mansion what's left was the frozen corpses of the witch cultists, his dead friends, and-

"Petelgeuse…he's dead" a sinister smile arised on Subaru's face, he knew he shouldn't be smiling in a situation like this but he could not help it, after all "That bastard is finally dead, thank you Puck" Subaru could only feel relieved and comforted knowing that Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti was dead "But I wonder what happened to Puck" a thought arises in Subaru's head, could they have killed each other in battle? But his thought was cut short when Subaru noticed in the distance a man with fiery red hair "Reinhardt!?" Subaru yelled in confusion, what was he doing here?

"Ah Subaru, thank the dragon you're still alive…is that" as Reinhardt got closer to Subaru he noticed the woman held in Subaru's arms. "Oh my…Lady Emilia…" Reinhardt began to feel a sense of despair "It was due to my inability to perform as a knight that Lady Emilia died, I am to blame for this." a thought more sinister had also formed in the deeper part of his mind "and now the people will know that I failed to protect a royal candidate, my already terrible reputation as the Sword Saint will fall even lower, I truly am a monster"

"Subaru…I…am sorry for Lady Emilia's death" Reinhardt had struggled to keep a tear of leaving his eye, he hated himself for this but Subaru could only stare in confusion and thought to himself "Why does he think that Emilia's death is his fault, that's obviously not true, he has to know what happened"

"Reinhardt…aren't you even wondering how she ended up like this?" Subaru asked Reinhardt, of which Reinhardt could only respond with "I presume this was due to the actions of the Witches Cult…is there something more?" Subaru could only sigh with regret as he prepared to answer that question "I wonder how he'll react"

"Reinhardt…" Subaru had paused for a moment before answering the question, Reinhardt waited in anticipation for what Subaru had to say "Reinhardt, it was me, I'm responsible for Emilia's death" Subaru closed his eyes as he answered Reinhardt's question, fully expecting his head to be lobbed off by the Sword Saint for admitting to have committed such a vile crime but his expectations was only heard with

"Subaru, that's a lie, my divine protection of wind indication went off" Subaru could only open his eyes slowly as his surprise began fading "Why would you lie about something so important, do you feel so much grief that you could only think you are the reason she died?" Reinhardt had asked him

Subaru was speechless, he had not anticipated Reinhardt's reaction, in no way should he have said that Subaru was lying "He has that divine protection? To detect lies? Laughable, this guy has everything, if I had his powers I could've saved Emilia, Rem, and everyone else just with a slash of a sword, why couldn't I be him, why did I have to be the useless trash that I am"

"Subaru…I understand if you don't want to discuss this now, I can tell by your eyes that you are deeply filled with sorrow and regret so I won't pressure you any longer" Reinhardt attempted to comfort Subaru but Subaru only felt a sense of delusion, his mind was filled with thoughts of self harm and self hate, Subaru absolutely hated himself

"I told you…I killed her…my friends as well, ALL of it was my fault, please…believe in me Reinhardt" Subaru pleaded to Reinhardt to find him guilty of committing these crimes but the red haired knight could only respond with "That's enough Subaru, I can already tell that you feel much regret for your inability to save your friends but no matter how much you say you killed them a lie remains a lie" Subaru felt a glimmer of hope in his heart, he had found someone that can help him in his darkest time, a slight smirk raised on his mouth

"Thanks Reinhardt but I've also got some questions to ask, what happened to Puck?" Reinhardt looked into the sky with a frown before answering Subaru's question "I…had to kill him Subaru" Subaru's eyes widened "Puck is more well known by his other name, The Beast of The End, the reasoning for this name is because he had made an oath that when his 'daughter' Emilia dies, he will end the world. Soon after I presume Emilia's death I had noticed the large presence of mana located in Rooswal's domain and investigated what happened, I found Puck in his rampage and quickly ended his life before he caused any more harm" Reinhardt gave his lengthy answer to Subaru who could only stare with astonishment, he thought to himself "This guy ended someone named 'The Beast of The End' in one go!? Why couldn't I have his powers…why-" Subaru was cut off from anymore negative thoughts when he realized he still needed to ask Reinhardt another question

"So now that my friends and Emilia…are gone, could I come live with you and Felt? I don't need Rooswal coming back and seeing me stand in this...rubble" Subaru had asked Reinhardt who immediately recognized the pitiful situation that Subaru now lives in and answered "Of course, an acquittance…no…friend in need has my full support, I promise you Subaru I can give you a new life at Flanders"

"Thank you so for everything Reinhardt" Subaru smiled "a friend huh? Heh he actually considers a loser like me a friend, I'm deeply touched"

And so Reinhardt and Subaru had set off, beginning their journey to Flanders, Emilia's corpse still clutched in Subaru's arms