The second week since Louise's death passed by in a blur. A whole lot of not sleeping and tears. Gene continued to binge eat to the point of either actually throwing up or nearly throwing up. While Bob and Tina had to force themselves to eat even the tiniest portions. The family started group therapy on Wednesday. Bob remained silent in his adult group. While Gene completely broke down in the child group and had to leave the room. Tina followed her brother grateful for the excuse to duck out.
Thursday, they attempted normalcy but failed.
Friday, they woke early and spent the day huddled together on the couch only getting up for meals and the occasional bathroom break. When the hour of the accident rolled around, Bob went down to the walk in and screamed his head off until he was hoarse. Tina and Gene just clung to each other crying and begging for forgiveness.
Saturday was more of the same. When the time came where two weeks had passed since Louise actually died. Bob went berserk in the basement, Tina vomited all over the apartment bathroom and hallway, and Gene went and hid in his parent's closet.
Sunday the family was forced to leave their comfort zones. Tina and Gene would be returning to school on Monday and like it or not. The time had come for Bob to reopen the restaurant. They had made decent money off the GoFundMe and various charities but needed to save what remained after the funeral for the future. In the two weeks Bob had dropped about a size and Tina two. Bob had been trying to lose weight before Louise died but knew this was not a healthy way to go about weight loss. Tina was a little pudgy but still not where she needed to lose any weight. Everything with her was just the joys of a pubescent body. Bob worried for her health when she hit the next growth spurt if she didn't have the extra weight to even her out. Gene on the other hand had gone up three sizes in two weeks. Gene had always been heavy but never unhealthy. Until now. Bob was scared to death but didn't have it in him to say anything. Anyway, on Sunday the Belchers went clothes shopping. Bob bought more work clothes, Tina and Gene bought essentially the same clothes they already had. Bob noticed Tina gazing longingly at the "Clip Clop, Don't Stop" shirts. Hers now hung off of her and they didn't have the size she did need.
"Tina I can get one for you." Bob offered.
"No" Tina replied weakly.
"We can alter it." Bob offered.
"No" Tina insisted.
"Come on, Tina you love horses." Bob countered.
"Not anymore!" Tina snapped.
"Tina" Bob gasped shocked that his heart could break anymore.
"Let's just get out of here!" Tina cried.
Then came Monday and the Belchers could no longer run or wallow in their grief. It was now time to get back to normal. If normal even existed to them anymore. Bob woke up early and attempted to make breakfast for the family. Breakfast had never been Bob's strong suit as far as cooking. He kept it simple scrambled eggs and pancakes. He grabbed a package of frozen sausage out of the freezer and microwaved two for each family member. Big Bob had entered the kitchen and now sat in Linda's spot reading the newspaper. There was a moment of panic when Bob realized he had made five plates. He sighed and decided that he would just grab a couple pop tarts or some cereal for himself. Big Bob could have his plate. Then it hit him. He wasn't one plate short. He had made one plate too many. He felt his body begin to tremble and had to grip the counter to stand. Noticing his son's distress. Big Bob rose from his seat and calmly set the extra plate on the back of the stove.
"It's going to happen, son." Big Bob whispered.
"Just let Gene have my plate and the extra one. I am going to bed." Bob sighed.
"NO! You don't have to open the restaurant today and it would be best if the therapist helps us with Gene's portion control issues, but the kids need you to see them off to their first day back!" Big Bob insisted.
"Maybe I should call the school. They said they could take another week." Bob moaned.
"Remember what I told you after your mom died?" Big Bob questioned.
"That we couldn't hide forever. We didn't have to move on right away, but we had to keep living." Bob recalled.
"Yeah. Well, that's true now too." Big Bob replied.
"The thing is I don't think I can do that." Bob sighed.
"What do you mean?" Big Bob demanded.
"Nothing… for…forget I said anything." Bob stammered before exiting the kitchen.
Tina walked nervously through the front doors of Huxley High. She had only been a student there for two weeks before the accident. She had just been learning her locker combination and the way to her classes. Now another two weeks had passed, and it was like her first day all over again. Except this time, she had a broken heart. This time there would be no mom waiting to hear all the details. This time there would be no Louise teasing her for only talking about boys and random high school drama. She doubted her dad would be waiting with a special burger of the day to celebrate her first day or that Gene would hound her with questions about electives and the cafeteria. She made it to her locker and to her horror realized she had thrown out the paper with her combination on it. She trudged back to the office trying not to cry.
"Tina! Is everything OK? Do you need me to call your dad?" The receptionist greeted far to warmly.
"No, I just need my locker combination." Tina sighed.
"Of course, dear, anything you need." The receptionist replied.
"Thanks" Tina sighed.
Gene stopped on the steps of Wagstaff. He could not believe he was the last Belcher at Wagstaff. Tina had graduated and Louise was dead. He would be alone the next two years. Finally, he took one last deep breath before entering the school. He tried to ignore the pitying gazes and whisper that were shot his way. He passed her locker and felt as if he had been punched in the gut. He staggered to his own locker and turned it open. He grabbed the books for his first classes, stuffed them into his backpack and headed towards his classroom.
"Gene!" Alex called.
"Alex?" Gene gasped.
"Yeah, I am sorry. Sorry about your sister. Sorry I didn't come over or go to the funeral." Alex apologized.
"Yeah, why weren't you there?" Gene questioned.
"The day of Louise's funeral was also my grandfather's seventy fifth birthday. My mom had been planning his party for months. She had booked a hall and people were flying in from across the country. It's not like we could reschedule. I wanted to go but I didn't want to go alone, and my parents didn't have anybody they could ask. Then I wanted to come over a few times but, my mom was worried I would be bothering you." Alex explained.
"That makes sense." Gene sighed.
"So how are you holding up?" Alex asked.
"I am a mess. Louise is dead. My mom left." Gene replied.
"Your mom left?" Alex gasped.
"Yeah, she hates us now." Gene croaked.
"What" Alex questioned.
"Nothing never minds. Let's just get to class." Gene insisted.
After two weeks of mourning, it was time for Louise's class to return to normal. The typically rambunctious class was quiet and had their eyes fixed on Louise's empty desk. Every minute or so Jessica would dab her eyes with a tissue. She had not stopped crying in two weeks. Rudy was huddled up in his desk. He had been inconsolable since the funeral. He wanted her back so badly. Millie had been largely sedated since being admitted to the hospital, the day after Louise's death. They had begun weaning her off the sedatives a few days earlier and today was her first day completely sober in over two weeks. The bell rang and Ms. Labonz rose to begin her lesson. When the door opened, and a shell-shocked Andy and Ollie stepped nervously into the classroom. The pair had been out of school since the accident and now clung to each other like glue. Kids began to whisper but Ms. Labonz clearing her throat was enough to shut most of them up. All except for one.
"NO! NO! They can't be here! Their dad killed Louise! They may as well have killed her! They are murderers! Murderers!" Millie cried.
In a flash Millie was out of her seat and charging towards Andy and Ollie. She pinned them both to the floor, Ollie hitting his head on Ms. Labonz' desk in the process. Andy tried to crawl to his aid, but Millie shoved him hard and sent him rolling into the door. The students watched in horror as Millie made her attack on the twins. Ms. Labonz tried to subdue her, but she was crazed. She shouted nonsensical things. She beat and kicked the Pesto boys, throwing things at Andy if he tried to run. Ms. Labonz called for an emergency in her classroom. Ollie was unconscious now and Andy was screaming in terror. Millie tackled him and had him in a chokehold when the door swung open. In a panic Mille threw Andy across the room, he ended up hitting his head on the other corner of the desk and collapsed beside his brother. He used his last ounce of strength to grab Ollie's hand, certain they were going to die. It took five grown men to subdue Millie. In the end four ambulances were called. Two to take Andy and Ollie to the hospital, one for Ms. Labonz who was experiencing heart palpations and another to take Millie back to the hospital. The rest of Ms. Labonz' class was evacuated to another classroom. While the rest of the school was put on lockdown until Millie was taken off campus. Poor Regular Sized Rudy collapsed in the hall from an asthma attack. A fifth ambulance had to be called.
Tina managed to make it through her four classes. She just had to get through lunch then three more classes. Then therapy. Then the rest of her life. it was all so overwhelming. She tossed her lunch in the trash and made a beeline for the bathroom. She was surprised when Jimmy Junior of all people rose from his seat and chased after her. She was about to enter the girl's room when Jimmy grabbed her arm. She tried to pull away, but Jimmy pulled harder. She ended up losing her lunch all over the bathroom door. She again tried to run but Jimmy pulled even harder.
"Ow! Jimmy! What the hell?" Tina demanded.
"I want to get back together." Jimmy insisted.
"No! Even if your dad hadn't killed Louise. Even if he wasn't the reason my family is in shambles. You were never there for me. You ignored me and mocked me on the worst day of my life. You never called, never reached out. Even before that you never cared about me unless somebody else had me. So, no. We are over! Forever and ever!" Tina snapped.
"But Tina I need to get you back. Get you back so I can clear my dad's name. We start dating again. You see my dad isn't so bad and make your dad drop the charges. It was just an accident after all." Jimmy insisted.
"Jimmy your dad killed my sister! Even if it were an accident, he left her to die! He shattered her body! I still can't close my eyes without seeing her. I…I. Oh God! Oh God! Louise! No! Louise!" Tine cried gasping for air.
"Dammit! Tina! I didn't want it to come to this!" Jimmy cried shoving Tina into the bathroom.
"Leave her alone!" Zeke demanded, before charging into the bathroom after Jimmy.
Even though what came after only lasted seconds. When it was happening, it was as if hours were passing by. She watched as Zeke shoved Jimmy hard against a locker and got directly in his face. Zeke was completely red faced and literally puffing in anger. In the two years she had known Zeke. Tina had never seen him actually get angry. He got mad and overwhelmed from time to time, but this was her first time seeing him furious.
"The lady said she didn't want to be with you! No means no! You do not force yourself on her! Just walk away!" Zeke bellowed before punching Jimmy hard in the stomach.
"Ow, Zeke" Jimmy moaned.
"You're lucky we are in public, or it would be ten times worse!" Zeke snapped.
"What is going on here?" A teacher demanded.
"This asshole was trying to hurt my friend because she wouldn't go out with him." Zeke explained.
"Well, I commend you for standing up for a lady, but this is a matter for the principal." The teacher sighed grabbing his phone.
Bob was shaking; between hunger, grief, anger, and now fear. There had been horrific incidents at the schools of his surviving children. The day he sent them back, after losing their baby sister. First Wagstaff had been sent to lockdown, because Millie had suffered a psychotic break in class. He had no idea why they stopped medicating her so soon. Poor Andy and Ollie Pesto had been viciously attacked thanks to her episode. From what Bob had gathered. She blamed them for Louise's death and saw them as the enemy. Both boys had suffered head trauma along with lacerations and other scary injuries. Ollie was critical but expected to survive, while Andy was in serious condition.
Then at Huxley High, Tina had been assaulted by Jimmy Junior. Bob still wasn't sure on the details, but it sounded like he was going to try to rape her. He felt terrible for the former Ms. Pesto. Her ex-husband was a murderer. Now her oldest son was facing expulsion for his actions and her twins were in the hospital after an assault. One of whom may not even live.
Bob had to speak with the principal of Huxley after what happened to Tina. He was shaking so badly, and tears were blurring his vision. He had to have Big Bob drive him to the school. They were buzzed in and led to the principal's office. Tina sat on the couch ashen and sobbing. Zeke had his arms around her and was whispering comforting words into her ear. Jimmy sat in a chair in the corner scowling.
"Take a seat Mr. Belcher." Principal Fletcher instructed.
"I want to know how that asshole managed to shove my daughter through a door before anybody knew anything was happening?! I was told he was screaming at her! How did nobody know?!" Bob demanded.
"Mr. B, I heard. I wanted to stop him sooner, but I was in the boys' room. I couldn't just get up. Though maybe I should have." Zeke apologized.
"I am not angry with you, Zeke. You saved my daughter. I want to know why no teachers came. Why did a student have to stop that bastard." Bob snapped.
"Mr. Belcher, we take these matters seriously." Principal Fletcher started.
"Clearly you don't! I know his mom is attending to his brothers in the hospital, but I want that punk off campus! I want him expelled! If he isn't expelled, I don't want him within fifty feet of Tina! Got that?!" Bob demanded.
It was hard keeping Tina and Gene in school after the incidents, but both insisted on staying. Finally, the day was over, and Bob could collect his children. To take them to family therapy. Because that's what their lives had become. Constant reminders of their grief and how things would never be the same. The drive to Bog Harbor was surreal. Gene did not make a sound the entire drive. He didn't make up any driving songs or yell anything out the window at passersby. He just watched the world go by from the window. Tina did not point out the stable or beg to go ride horses instead. She just watched Gene intently. Bob wept quietly in the passenger seat. While Big Bob drove. Eventually they arrived at the center. They were led to a large office with a couch and chair on one side, and tables and chairs on the other. They were told to sit on the couch.
"Hello Belcher family, I am Dr. Elena Torres." A young-looking woman greeted.
"Yes, we spoke on the phone." Bob recalled.
"Bob, right?" Dr. Elena asked.
"Yes" Bob replied.
"And you are Tina." Dr. Elena said shaking Tina's hand.
"Yes mam" Tina confirmed
"And Gene" Dr. Elena replied to shaking Gene's hand.
"Yes" Gene muttered.
"So how this is going to go is we are going to do an hour of family therapy. Then an hour of individual therapy totaling twenty minutes each. You can receive four hours every two weeks. So, an hour each and an hour of familial therapy or two hours of familial and dividing up the individual sessions. Just depending on what you are needing." Dr. Elena explained.
"That sounds good" Bob replied.
"So, tell me about Louise" Dr. Elena began.
"Louise was. She was amazing. She was strong and smart. She was so brave and so creative. She had a mischievous side that kind of put us at odds a lot, but she was amazing. I loved everything about her." Bob recalled.
"Care to elaborate on what put you at odds?" Dr. Elena questioned.
"She would undermine us all the time. A few months ago, she stole a check from us. She wanted to see an uncut version of this old movie. She should have known better, but she really wanted to see it. It was our fault for leaving our checkbook down. God I am speaking ill of my dead child. I am such a monster." Bob rambled.
"It's important to remember that people have flaws and do bad things. Death does not negate wrongs. It is good that you can still see her wrongs." Dr. Elena assured.
"It doesn't feel right." Bob sighed.
"It isn't going to but it's important. I think you have said enough for now. We can come back to you later. For now, let's move on to Tina." Dr. Elena replied.
"She was so amazing and so pretty. Sometimes I hated her for that. No, I didn't hate her. It just didn't seem fair. I have always been self-conscious about my looks then there's Louise who was beautiful and didn't care. It didn't seem fair, but she wasn't just beauty. She brought me out of my shell. I have anxiety. I want to have fun, but I am scared to have fun. Scared to rock the boat, but Louise. She loved stirring the pot. She always drugs me into it, and I loved it." Tina explained.
"So, you are saying she was counter for your personality?" Dr. Elena questioned.
"Yes, we were like yin and yang." Tina sighed.
"Very interesting. Is there anything else you want to add?" Dr. Elena asked.
"No, not now." Tina replied.
"Very well, Gene?" Dr. Elena said.
"Louise. Sometimes it felt like she was the big brother, and I was the little sister. She was always the one to defend us. Well one time I took a Norwegian Stink Hold for her, but other than that it was her defending me." Gene explained.
"Norwegian stink hold?" Dr. Elena questioned.
"Wrestling move" Gene explained.
Tina had her private session first. She shifted nervously on the couch. She knew that Bob and Gene were just down the hall in the lounge but after all the loss. She worried they were gone to. Her eyes fell on the clock. Less than a minute had passed.
"Is there anything you want to tell me that you couldn't say in front of your dad and Gene?" Dr. Elena questioned.
"I want to move into Louise's room. I sleep in her bed and touch her things. The other day I tried on some of her clothes. They weren't as tight of a fit as they would have been before she died." Tina rambled.
"Was Louise's room bigger or is it just because it was her space, and you feel her in there?" Dr. Elena questioned.
"Her room was a converted closet. It is tiny but sometimes I feel like she is there. Getting mad at me for touching her stuff and pupertying up her room." Tina explained.
"That is normal, but I wouldn't go making any big changes yet." Dr. Elena assured.
"I don't want to change a thing." Tina sighed.
Gene was next to have his session. Like Tina he feared his family would leave while he was gone. There was part of him that wanted to run and hide in the car. So even if they tried to leave him, he couldn't. The only thing stopping him was remembering that Big Bob had taken the car to check on the diner. God, what if Big Bob left? He wanted his snacks, but Bob had made him leave everything at home.
"Alright Gene is there anything you can't say in front of the others?" Dr. Elena asked.
"I can't stop eating! I mean it's obvious, but I am scared! I always loved food but now I can't stop! I was eating trash yesterday. Actual trash! Oh, who am kidding! I always loved eating weird things! I am just using losing Louise! But it has gotten bad! Really bad!" Gene cried.
"Compulsive eating is common in grief. Beyond that you likely have a condition called pica. You may have always had it but because you are focusing on your mental health you are noticing it now. I will speak with your father and give him some information on ways to help you." Dr. Elena explained.
"What if I get so fat, they have to cut me out of the apartment? And I destroy her home?" Gene sobbed.
"Well, you admitted you have a problem. That is the first step. There is a group called Over Eaters Anonyms. It is similar to AA. They meet once a week or so. You can get a sponsor to help you and they will teach you ways to cope without eating." Dr. Elena explained.
Bob was the last of the trio to have a private session. His heart was heavy knowing that Gene had an actual mental illness, and that Tina was so desperate to feel Louise she was willing to move rooms. He wished that Linda had stayed. He wished that he were better. He hated himself for so many things. Part of him wished they would leave. They were better off without him.
"Now Bob I use this time for family members to discuss things they cannot say in the familial session. I know that you said some harsh things to Louise before the accident and that is part of why Linda left. Please open up. We can go over if you need." Dr. Elena explained.
"I hate myself! I fucking hate myself! I told my daughter I wished she had never been born! Then she got hit by a fucking car! She died in agony thinking I hate her! She is dead and I am still here! I fucking hate that! My wife left because I am such a fucking monster! I just want to fucking die! I am going to fucking kill myself! Hear me? I am going to fucking kill myself!" Bob cried.
"Do you really think that is the only solution?" Dr. Elena questioned.
"I can't live anymore. Every day is pure hell. Every night is nightmares. I can't eat. I can't do my job. I am failing my surviving kids. I just want to die. So, I am going to kill myself. I don't know when because I need to be alone, but next time I am alone. I am going to kill myself." Bob explained voice shaking, longing for the pain killers he had in the cabinet, the noose he longed to hang around Louise's loft bed, the knives, the window he was now thin enough to wedge out of to get to the roof that would send him to the ground, the pier at night, the ocean, and the pills. For the gun he bought from Mickey. That Mickey had intended to use on Louise's killer. Well, that would certainly be him. He had a million options to die. He just needed the privacy.
