By the time they got to the cafeteria, Sky was regretting her decision not to use the wheelchair. It had been only a couple of hallways, and a few minutes in a lift - but it had strained her so that now she had a splitting headache, and her body was weary as if she'd run a marathon.
Hawk was giving her worried glances, when she leaned heavily on his arm, her breathing shallow and fast.
"I don't care what you say, but I'll be taking you back to your room in a wheelchair," he said, as they reached an empty table and Sky slumped into a chair, exhausted and short of breath.
"Just get me a coffee," Sky wheezed. "I'll feel better in a minute."
Hawk didn't look convinced but did as he was told and after making sure that Sky was comfortable in her chair, he went.
Sky took a moment to just catch her breath, her eyes following Hawk as he walked to the counter. In his stylish sweats and a black and yellow hoodie, he looked confident and tough, handsome as Hell. He pushed his hands into his pockets as he took a look at the cakes and other delicacies that were on display,
and that motion made the muscles and tendons in his lean and wiry forearms move under the skin. His brow fell into a gentle frown, and he was so beautiful it took Sky's breath away.
She wrapped her pink hospital robe tighter around her, suddenly feeling feverish. A shiver ran through her spine, but it had nothing to do with the pain in her head and arm. It was the longing she had for him, the yearning she'd been trying to deny for weeks now, that had only been made stronger by their separation.
Sky forced her eyes off him, her cheeks heating, and turned to look out of the window instead, not that there was a lot to look at, just the parking lot, people walking to their cars, or towards the hospital, some carrying flowers or other gifts. Briefly Sky wondered when she would be released. She was tired of being in a hospital, so very tired, and silently she made a vow that when they let her out this time, she wouldn't be coming back. Not if she had any say about it.
"I didn't know what you wanted, so I brought everything," said a voice, and Sky returned to the moment just as a tray was placed on the table in front of her.
"Oh my God," her jaw dropped. She couldn't help a laugh.
The tray was overflowing. There was a huge piece of chocolate cheesecake, another strawberry one, some colorful mini cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, and even a couple of chocolate bars - plus a giant latte topped with whipped cream and cinnamon.
For a moment all Sky could do was stare.
"I'll throw up if I eat all this."
"Then eat what you want and leave the rest."
"Or maybe we share?"
A smile tugged at the corner of Hawk's mouth. "Works for me. But you go first."
Sky wasn't going to protest. She was so hungry that her stomach ached. Besides, it was almost lunchtime and she had nothing against replacing lunch with pastries - they sure looked better than the hospital food.
She picked a fork and started eating the chocolate cheesecake - as she knew it would be her favorite. It was delicious, far better than she would have expected as they were still in the hospital. She hummed after the first bite. Even with her nose still bandaged, she enjoyed the sweet, rich taste of the cake, the feeling of chocolate melting in her mouth.
"Good?" Hawk asked, the smile still lingering on his lips.
"So good," Sky replied, licked her lips, and took another bite. "Fucking amazing. Ah,I'm so glad I'm not dead and get to eat this."
"Well, yeah. Me too." Hawk let out in his raspy voice. He leaned his elbows on the table and leaned closer. "I want to taste."
Sky took a forkful and with a teasing smile fed it to Hawk. It was an absolute pleasure to watch how he took the piece of cake into his mouth, how his lips closed around the fork as she slowly pulled it off. Sky's cheeks heated as she watched how he swallowed, the work of muscles and tendons drawing her eyes to his neck.
"More?" she asked, offering him another forkful.
"You eat first," he rasped, his eyes dark.
"Suit yourself," she replied and ate the piece herself. Hawk's eyes were on her lips when she slowly slid the fork out of her mouth and licked it clean, and she noticed how his throat bobbed, how he shifted on his chair.
That made her giddy.
Lord, how hungry they were for each other. It was stupid, it was dangerous, it was reckless - but she didn't care. She wanted him, had spent too much time without him already, Hell, she had almost died - twice - and now that she was alive and she was with him, she felt like she was made of liquid fire. She wanted nothing but to burn in his arms.
But.
She sighed and put the fork down. She wasn't stupid enough to think that everything was okay. They might both spontaneously combust watching each other eat cake, but it wouldn't fix the things that were broken between them.
"You know, Paulo had a point."
Hawk's smile disappeared. "What do you mean?"
"When he said you treated me like shit."
He looked down, his jaw clenched. He took a rapid inhale, his shoulders rising and falling. For a while, he was silent as if searching for words, but Sky was in no hurry. She kept eating the chocolate cake while she waited. This was a talk they should have had a long time ago, and even if she would much rather be making out with him right now, she knew they could only get there if they learned how to communicate.
"I never meant for you to get hurt," Hawk finally replied. His voice was throaty, dry, strained.
"I know."
"And I am sorry."
"I know that too."
"Then what's your point?" he rasped. "What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me what happened with Demetri yesterday."
That made Hawk's shoulders tense, his jaw clenched tight as he swallowed.
"What have you heard?"
"It doesn't matter what I've heard. I wanna hear it from you."
Another short silence. Sky took another forkful of her cake and washed it down with the overly cinnamony coffee.
"You do know about the speech he gave at Moon's party?" Hawk asked, glancing briefly at Sky, then looking away again.
"I know."
"I can't just let him get away with that shit. Everyone… Everyone now thinks I'm a bedwetter."
It hurt to hear him say that, to see how he flinched at that word.
"What does it matter what people think?" Sky asked, her voice softer now. "Everyone thinks I'm a crazy slut."
"And you're gonna tell me you don't care?"
"No. I don't know, it just feels different now. I mean… I remember going to school that day, the day of the fight, and I was a mess. Everyone had seen that video… of us. And they were laughing at me, the crazy slut who tried to kill herself and got banged at a party. I was so embarrassed, but—" she paused for a moment to search for the right words, and when she found them, they came with a smile. "I guess I just don't care anymore. I don't know why it mattered so much. Let them have their stupid drama, their stupid fights. I know what's important now."
"Yeah? And what's that?"
She smiled at him, suddenly feeling how tears filled her eyes. "Love."
Love for him, sure. And love for her dad and her friends. But overall love for Kat, and the love Kat had for her. She could still feel it, as if a small fragment of Kat had stayed with her, even if Sky knew she was truly gone now. But sometimes she could almost sense her, could hear the sound of her laughter, could feel her hand on her own, gripping hard as they threw themselves over the edge of the roof. Sometimes she thought Kat was sitting in the chair next to her bed when she was half-sleep, half-awake, but when she opened her eyes there was no one there. Only the love that overflowed her heart remained.
Hawk looked down, then back up, and Sky couldn't read the look on his face. Maybe he thought she was crazy too? But she didn't care, not really. Crazy felt good on her.
"I asked you what happened with Demetri," she said then. "We're getting sidetracked."
"Aren't you gonna drink your coffee? It's getting cold."
"You're avoiding the topic." Sky replied, but took the mug and sipped on the cinnamon-scented drink. She could taste it, even if she couldn't really smell anything yet.
"Yeah, I know," Hawk admitted. "It's just… I really don't wanna talk about Demetri."
"Was it him who kicked you in that trophy case?"
Hawk's reaction told Sky what she had already suspected, even if she hadn't known for sure. Sam had been pretty vague in her description of the fight, probably because she seemed to be traumatized over everything that had happened. Which was something Sky really wanted to help her with, but it had to wait until she was back on her feet and out of the hospital.
"Who told you?" Hawk rasped out a question.
"No one. You chased him, didn't you? And attacked him? And then he kicked your ass instead."
Hawk looked away. The muscles of his jaw worked, his sneakered foot was nervously tapping the floor. It took a long time before he could form an answer, and even then it was not much more than a grunt.
"Yeah."
Sky felt his pain, it made her chest ache. But she didn't love just Hawk, she loved Demetri too, he was one of her closest friends and this rivalry was killing her. She would have given anything to make it stop.
"So you wanted to get back at him yesterday, is that it?"
Hawk finally looked up and their eyes met. The look on his face was agonized, his mouth was a hard line, the muscles of his jaw worked as he swallowed.
"He started this whole thing with that Yelp review. I'm just trying to finish it."
"And when will it be finished?" Sky breathed. "When Demetri is the one in the hospital, fighting for his life? Will that be enough for you?"
Hawk shrugged, he turned his eyes down. Everything about him was tense as a string, the restless tapping of his foot was driving Sky crazy. She waited for a while, clutching the coffee mug in her hand, but Hawk didn't reply.
"You can't just go and beat the crap out of people."
"Why not?" Hawk snapped back at her. "People have been beating the crap out of me all my life."
It broke her heart, it really did. She knew it was true, and also she knew how much it took Hawk to admit it. His shoulders were falling and rising with fast breaths as if his emotions were spilling over, and Sky felt his pain as if it was her own. She let go of her mug and reached her hand over the table to take his fingers in her grasp.
"Fine, I get that," Sky said silently, gripping his hand in hers. "Go and beat up Kyler then. Or Brucks. That would at least be justified. But can you just please leave my friends alone?"
Hawk was silent for a while, trying to get that emotion under control. When he finally looked up, his eyes were dark and deep and endless.
"Why does it even matter?" He breathed throatily. "Why are we even talking about Demetri? Why can't we just… be together. I don't care about anything else or anyone else. I just wanna be with you."
"Because," she took a deep breath to keep her voice steady. "Because if you wanna be with me, we have to set up some ground rules."
"What rules?"
"No lying," Sky said and met his gaze.
"Okay, I can do that." He replied, eagerly. "No lying."
"And—" Sky continued. "I am allowed to be friends with anyone I want. And you are not allowed to bully or attack my friends."
He swallowed. "Even Demetri?"
"Especially Demetri."
He was silent for a couple of heartbeats, clearly trying to find a loophole in this rule, and suddenly Sky was annoyed. She pulled her hand away from his.
"I guess this is where it comes down to. Which one do you want more? To be with me or to beat up Demetri?"
He reached over the table and pulled Sky's hand back in his. "Shit, Sky! I wanna be with you. That's all I've ever wanted—"
"So you promise? No lying and no fighting with my friends?"
"Yeah, okay," he breathed, still gripping her hand in his. "I promise. I'll do anything you want."
She wanted to trust him, She needed to trust him. He was her oxygen and without him, she would slowly suffocate. She had chosen to come back from the dead, to live, to love, to be with him again and now everything was in this moment, in his eyes, as if it wasn't just her life that hung from this narrow thread, but his too. His eyes were huge, the light blue of the irises so clear and beautiful, like the sky in the springtime, his pupils dark and dilated. He gazed at her, wide-eyed, his cheeks burning, and he was the most beautiful thing Sky had ever seen.
She had no choice but to trust him. No choice but to jump down the cliff and see if the wind carried her this time.
"Okay," She sighed. "Please don't make me regret this."
He let out a sound that could have been a sob. "I won't," he managed. "I won't. I promise. I love you so much."
"I love you too."
He changed the seat, abandoning the chair that was opposite to Sky and took a seat next to her instead, dragging that chair even closer to her. And then his hands were on her, fingers gently brushing her shoulders, her upper arms. She leaned in, unable to resist the pull that was always there between their bodies, the invisible force as strong as the Earth's gravity. Her heart was in her throat, her pulse fast and uneven and nothing existed but this moment.
"Can I kiss you?" He asked.
"Always," she sighed. "Always."
The kiss tasted like chocolate cake. His lips were soft but needy on her mouth, his tongue tentatively brushed her lips and Sky opened for him, opened her heart, and her soul, and her lips, like a flower opens its petals at the sunrise. He groaned in the kiss, as his tongue met hers, and that sound sent shivers through Sky's weary body. It took so little to make her burn.
Her coffee got cold, the cakes were forgotten, but she didn't even notice. They kept kissing as if this was the end of the world, but truly it wasn't.
In her heart, Sky knew this was not the end. This was the beginning.
Not much to say except that I love writing these two.
Please let me know what you think about this chapter.
