Content Advisory: Phobia Related Panic, Sexual Content. High T rating, proceed with thoughtfulness.


Chapter Seventeen: See How Bright

Madame Morrible had not been mistaken. As Elphaba stepped outside in the early evening after classes, freezing rain was pelting to the earth. By the time she made it home the sky was fully dark, and a full storm was in progress. Howling winds whistled outside and the new moon was made further obscured by storm clouds. Chilled by the lack of moonlight, Elphaba drew the curtains.

She undid her braid and dressed for a night in, marveling at how quiet it was now that Glinda was gone. She restlessly settled into bed and opened her book. She had often yearned for this level of peace before, but she'd grown accustomed to having someone around. The silence, save for the storm rattling at her windows, made Elphaba feel uneasy.

Her comprehension of the book came in and out as her mind drifted elsewhere. How could she focus on the fictional romance in her hands when someone had professed their alleged love to her that very day? What had happened with Fiyero seemed years ago and miles away. It was easier to believe Fiyero in the moment, but as she sat in her bed alone on an ominous night…doubt set in.

A crash of thunder shook the building and Elphaba's lamps flickered. Her eyes widened as she watched them struggle to remain lit. They came back on and Elphaba quickly scrambled off of her bed with dread in her heart.

"No…please don't," she whispered aloud.

Thunder boomed again and the lights flickered for an even longer amount of time. Elphaba hastily walked to Glinda's side of the room with the intention of lighting the vanilla candle she kept on her dresser, only to find it missing.

"Damn it, Glinda. You leave the reticule, but you take the candle?"

Elphaba's hands shook as she searched in vain to see if Glinda had at least left some matches behind. When the lights surged for a third time, Elphaba was finding it very difficult not to panic. She anxiously crossed to her window and tore the curtains open to examine the storm. It was severe enough that she couldn't see more than a stone's throw outside, even with the streetlamps still on, and it showed no signs of stopping. She made a nervous sound and began to pace.

"It cannot hurt you. It cannot hurt you. It cannot hurt you," the logical side of Elphaba's made her say, but logic had no power here. The lights were about to go out. What was she going to do when the—

The lights went out.

Elphaba's lamps, the overhead light, even the streetlamps outside finally gave out with a loud snap and propelled the campus into blackness. Elphaba then blacked out as fear seized the reins. She covered her face with her hands and breathed, just breathed. Her body began to shake and sweat. Her chest ached as terror stung up her spine and her lips trembled. The lights were out. The lights were out and she was alone.

There was a sudden banging at her door and Elphaba shrieked and closed her eyes tighter. In the violent throngs of dread, she didn't believe any good could come of letting someone in. That is, until a voice called for her from the dark.

"Fae?"

She gasped and tried to build the courage to uncover her eyes but she hesitated knowing that to do so meant facing the dark.

"Elphaba! Let me in."

In a great leap of faith, Elphaba uncovered her eyes, threw her arms out in front of her, and sprung fearfully towards the unknown to fling the door open.

Fiyero stood outside her door with an oil lantern in his hand which illuminated the relief on his features in a warm, orange glow. The tips of his hair dripped with water but he was otherwise dry thanks surely to the soaked umbrella in his other hand.

"Fiyero," Elphaba managed in a small voice.

"Elphaba," he breathed, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He set the lantern on her desk and tossed the umbrella aside. "I started running as soon as the lights started to go. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

Fiyero had come…and he'd brought the light back with him.

Elphaba, hopelessly relieved, didn't even think. She let out a choking gasp and flung herself into the arms of her hero.

"Hey—" Fiyero wheezed as he caught her.

Awed and fumbling, it took Fiyero's brain a moment to catch up to what was happening. However, the instant it clicked his arms flew around Elphaba to secure her in a tight, protective hug. She trembled like a leaf against him and he gently turned her face into his chest to further shield her from the dark that troubled her so. It was an innocent enough embrace, like that of two close friends, but there was an implicit intimacy to it the likes of which neither had ever felt before.

"You came."

"I came," he murmured against her hair. "I'm here."

Elphaba burrowed into him, Fiyero rested his cheek on the top of her hair, and that's how they stayed. Holding each other silently by the meager lantern's glow. At last, Elphaba lifted her chin to meet Fiyero's thoughtful gaze. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and tentatively caressed her face in his hands.

"It wasn't just the letters. It wasn't just Fae," Fiyero breathed. "It was you."

Thunder rumbled in the distance but Elphaba barely heard it over her own pulse throbbing in her ears.

"Elphaba, were you…" Fiyero trailed off as if he needed to build the courage to ask. "Were you disappointed when you found out that it was me?"

Elphaba, overwhelmed by his query, shook her head slowly.

"No, Fiyero. I wanted it to be you," she answered, softly liberating a long-repressed truth. "I wanted it to be you so badly."

Fiyero took both of her hands and Elphaba intertwined their fingers. Elphaba took a deep breath and lifted her eyes to meet Fiyero's.

"Fiyero, listen…"

"No," Fiyero suddenly jerked back and dropped her hands.

"Huh?"

"Don't Fiyero listen me. You're about to say how 'this doesn't change anything' or how 'this is never going to work' and I don't want to hear it! Take pity on me, Elphaba. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take!"

"Fiyero—"

"No! I need to keep talking, because if I keep talking then you won't get a chance to say whatever it is that you want to say!"

"Fiyero!"

"What!?"

Elphaba grabbed Fiyero's face in her hands and jammed her lips to his in a sudden, heated kiss.

"That's what."

Fiyero stared at her blankly and Elphaba felt the frustration zap from her body as she realized what she'd just done.

"I'm sorry," she backtracked. "Did I not do it right? It was my first kiss so I'm—"

Fiyero grabbed her waist and swept her back into a second, passionate kiss. Dumbstruck by the gesture, Elphaba quickly reminded herself to close her eyes. Being kissed felt different than she always imagined it would. She worried over which direction to turn her head and awkwardly second guessed where to put her hands. Fiyero's lips, though warmly welcome against hers, were a distinctly foreign sensation and taste. She'd read about what this human experience might feel like, but words were limited to the page they were written upon. Living them was another thing entirely…and there was no substitution for reality. So, just for that moment, she cleared away any and all expectations she'd built up in her head and simply returned Fiyero's kiss as best she could.

Fiyero pulled away and they gave each other a long, winded look.

"You did it right," Fiyero finally offered.

The pair continued to gawk at each other until slow, relieved smiles began spreading across their faces. Elphaba emitted a dizzy laugh as Fiyero bashfully ruffled his hair as they both tried to think of what to say. The tension between them had at last been broken…and Oz, did it feel great. Elphaba's smile softened and she reached towards Fiyero's face to thoughtfully brush the back of her fingertips along his cheek.

"Well? What are you thinking?" Fiyero asked, unconsciously shivering at Elphaba's touch.

"I'm thinking that…I'm through."

"Through with what?"

The lantern he'd provided bathed them in flickering light and moving shadows danced across Fiyero's anxious features. Elphaba fluidly lifted her hand and brushed a green thumb over Fiyero's lower lip.

"I'm through…resisting you."

Fiyero emitted a sharp exhale of disbelief and they quickly met halfway for another zealous kiss. Taking things slow was apparently not something either of them was interested in, after all, it took long enough to get here. They'd spent many months teasing and toying with what they'd do if they found themselves alone with each other, and now that they were, they both ached to put those letters into action.

"Kiss me harder," Elphaba, no longer shy, urged upon briefly surfacing for breath. "Make me believe that this is happening."

"You're so bossy," Fiyero said in a low tone.

"Oh sorry—"

"Don't be." Fiyero made a sudden movement to pin Elphaba against the wall beside her desk. "I like bossy."

He graciously obliged Elphaba's command by placing a hand on the back of her neck, pressing his body flush against hers, and kissing her as fiercely as she'd asked. Elphaba's lips parted in surprise and Fiyero skillfully took the opportunity to deepen their kiss. The resonant moan his maneuver elicited from Elphaba's throat was music to him.

"Good Oz, Elphaba. You're the best homework assignment I've ever gotten," Fiyero muttered thickly.

Elphaba's usual defenses were down, her borderlines crossed. Her body was in control now, and her body wanted Fiyero. Bolstered by his enthusiasm, she brazenly threw her arms around his waist and began to impatiently tug at his shirt.

"Elphaba," he said against her mouth before pulling his lips from hers. "What—what are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"But you've never…"

"Of course, 'I've never'," Elphaba said tightly. "Is that a problem?"

"It's just—"

"Look, it's not like I don't know how it works," Elphaba said defensively, her face beginning to heat. "It's no big deal."

Not keen on losing momentum, Elphaba took a fistful of his shirt and tilted up to kiss him again, only to have Fiyero lean away.

"Hold on," Fiyero panted. "Just hold on for a clock-tick…"

Elphaba's face fell and her grip on his shirt numbly slackened. "Oh. Okay. I see."

She released him and paced a few steps away, self-consciously adjusting her nightgown and hair as she did.

"Elphaba…" Fiyero groaned in frustration. "Just listen—"

"No, I get it! You don't want to have sex with me," she hissed, turning to face him. Her blunt tone did little to conceal the sting of rejection she felt. "You don't want me like that. I should have expected as much."

Fiyero stared at her for a long moment before an amused smile burst across his face. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked her up and down as a small chuckle escaped him. Elphaba bristled at his reaction, feeling an old flare of annoyance towards him.

"What's so funny?"

"What's so funny?" Fiyero asked. He approached Elphaba and tipped her chin upwards to look at him. Her frown twitched as she stubbornly strained to remain stoic. "What's funny is the idea that you could possibly think that I wouldn't want you like that."

Fiyero placed his hands on her waist to gently turn her body to face Glinda's old closet on the other side of the room.

"I've wanted to have you ever since we got thrown in there."

He stood close behind her and slowly gathered her long hair in his hand, pulling it off to one side so that he may drift his lips up the side of her neck. Elphaba closed her eyes at the new, sensitive sensation and gently tilted her head further back for him.

"No, you haven't," she exhaled.

"Haven't you?" he asked knowingly.

He returned his eager hands to her hips and began tracing them slowly up the sides of her body. Despite the seductive nature of his actions, Elphaba let out a sudden laugh as his hands drifted too delicately over her ribcage.

"Why are you laughing?" Fiyero complained.

"That tickled."

"Wait, you're ticklish?"

"Don't you dare."

"The great Elphaba Thropp is ticklish?!"

"Fiyero, don't you dare!"

Elphaba shrieked as Fiyero threw his arms around her from behind and besieged her with his fingers. She cackled as she wiggled out of his grasp.

"I'm going to hex you so hard," she warned between laughs. She fled to her bed and attempted to grab her pillow as a shield but Fiyero was too quick. He climbed on top of her and grabbed her wrists to amorously pin her arms over her head.

"I give! I give!" Elphaba gasped, her chest heaving from the chase. "I surrender."

Fiyero yielded at once and looked down upon Elphaba's beaming smile. He'd never seen her like this, youthful and uninhibited with her brassy, uniquely Elphaba laugh and secret dimples. He briefly wondered if anyone had seen her quite like this, and felt distinctly honored to bear witness to her.

"You've never wrote that you were ticklish."

"I didn't know," Elphaba replied as her laughter winded down. Her breathing began to even out and their eyes met meaningfully. "I'm…not very used to being touched."

Fiyero cradled Elphaba's face in his hands and kissed her forehead. When he pulled away, he carefully tucked some of her hair behind her ears and spent a thoughtful moment drinking her in.

"It is a big deal," he expressed earnestly, lifting her hand to his lips and pressing an adoring kiss to the heel of her palm. "Being with you…it's a very big deal. At least it is for me."

Elphaba's face flushed and her adrenaline began to pump as she listened.

"I want you, Elphaba. Oz, do I want you. And look, I've slept with tons of people—"

"Well, don't I feel special," Elphaba deadpanned.

"That's just it, you are special! I can tell I'm not explaining this right. I'm no good with words, you know that…" he sighed self-consciously.

Elphaba reached up to brush his cheek with her thumb.

"You're doing beautifully," she encouraged. "I'm listening."

"Elphaba…being with you is different because it means more to me. I've been with a lot of people—as I've already established…" he cleared his throat to move on quickly, "…but I've never been with somebody that I love. And I love you, Elphaba. I do."

Elphaba went quiet as the rain pelted noisily outside. Her mind felt conflicted, skeptical of Fiyero's confession, but the way the lantern began to steadily shine brighter told her everything she needed to know about how her heart felt to hear it.

"You do?" she clarified, the lantern brightening and dimming in accordance with her bated breath.

"I do," he repeated, eager to illuminate her. "If you're sure you're ready Elphaba, I'm ready too. But I don't want to rush things just to get it over with. It's a big deal."

Fiyero gingerly placed his hand on the underside of Elphaba's thigh and her breath caught as he sensually propped her leg up against his hip.

"Let me make love to you the way you deserve, Elphaba," Fiyero said in a voice so loving that it buckled her guarded heart. "Do you want me to?"

"Yes," Elphaba whispered. "I want you to."

Fiyero's stirringly slow kiss that followed fluttered every part of Elphaba's body. In contrast to her brash confidence before, she now trembled to be the subject of Fiyero's tenderness. Her hands shook as he helped her undress him and an unfading blush warmed the skin of her face. When he moved to remove her nightgown, she gasped lightly and placed a hand on his bare chest for him to pause.

"Wait, Fiyero. I'm green," she blurted out, sitting up in bed.

Fiyero gave her a stupefied look. "I know that."

"Like everywhere. I'm green everywhere."

"I figured you would be?" he replied in a confused tone.

Elphaba made a mortified sound and buried her face into his shoulder, embarrassed to be stalling their momentum. Fiyero's arms wrapped around her and he leaned his head against hers.

"If we could only turn out the light. Isn't it just my luck? The two things I'm afraid of are being in the dark and being seen," she fussed.

"You're beautiful, Elphaba."

"You don't have to lie to me."

"It's not lying," he pulled out of the hug and took both of her hands. "Elphaba, you see the best in me, but in some ways I'm still deeply shallow. Do you really think I'd be in bed with you if I didn't find you attractive?"

Elphaba rolled her eyes in a flustered manner and squeezed his hands. "Well, when you put it like that…"

"We can stop right now," he reminded her gently.

"Just…remind me that it's you."

"It's just me."

Fiyero moved her hand to his heart and covered hers with his own as they had done in the classroom. A tiny smile formed on her lips as she felt Fiyero's heart racing as anxiously as hers.

"Do you want us to stop?" he checked.

Elphaba looked up at him and her smile grew braver as she shook her head. Her body buzzed with equal parts nervous and excited anticipation as she moved Fiyero's hands back to her body.

"No, I don't want to stop," she decided with certainty. "I mean…green means go, right?"

Fiyero burst out laughing and rewarded her with a kiss. "Green means go."

Fiyero helped undress Elphaba with care, reassuring her of his attraction as he went with admiring words and kisses to her soft, emerald skin. But it was the expression of humility on Fiyero's face as he laid her back against the pillows that truly made Elphaba blush.

"Shoot, wait."

Elphaba quickly fumbled under her pillow and removed her green bottle, setting it on her bedside table for safekeeping so that it wouldn't get damaged. Fiyero registered what it was with an astonished chuckle and turned his attention back to Elphaba.

"What is it?" she frowned.

"I just can't believe I actually found you," he answered. "My darling Fae."

Beneath the flickering glow of their lantern, Fiyero and Elphaba made imperfect love to each other. Uncertain winces eased into pleasured sighs and words of encouragement as Elphaba reclined into a world of new, exquisite sensations. Fiyero, in a new territory of his own, couldn't help but feel smug over having the privilege of satisfying his formidable Elphaba. Timid yet attentive, they learned each other's body just as they'd learned each other's minds for many months. Endearing awkwardness aside, the former pen friends agreed. Living out their desires beat writing about them.

When it was through, Elphaba and Fiyero lay on their sides, quiet and spent, holding each other almost cumbersomely close so they'd both fit on Elphaba's twin bed.

"Please don't leave until the lights come back," Elphaba breathed.

"I'll stay with you."

Elphaba hesitated as an abstract fear gripped her heart. How could she already be missing this moment even as she lived it? She yearned to cling to this feeling for as long as she could because she knew that beautiful things never stayed in her life for long. The clock over their heads was always ticking, and she could already envision the many ways their bliss could be broken.

She expressed these daunting daydreams in a simple, troubled question. "But for how long?"

Fiyero brushed his thumb over Elphaba's temple and looked upon her with love.

"For as long as you're mine."