My throat hurt from all the tears I had shed. Dimitri listened to me as I cried, reliving the horror of the night I didn't remember. I remembered walking up in the ambulance, but that was about it.

"I don't understand how it happened," I mumbled, my throat raw and sore.

"The impact of the car hitting ours was extreme. The rain made the road slick and we hydroplaned. When the car rolled, your seatbelt broke and the impact broke your neck," Dimitri explained mournfully as if repeating the event would make time turn back.

"And you fed me your blood?"

"Yes. It would start the transformation process, but without my bite, it would stay dormmate in a way. All I need was for your neck to heal and your heart to start beating. Do you remember when we told you about Moroi and Dhampirs?"

I nodded before responding verbally. "Yes?"

"Without completing the process, you have more Dhampir traits. Your body responded to the change but stopped. Does that make sense?"

"Sort of," I said, "I just don't understand how this all happened."

"I know," Dimitri said, a door closing behind him.

I chewed on my lip and sighed. "What does it mean if I'm a Dhampir?"

"Without the repetition of blood, it will slowly come out of your system. But you'll have the same traits until then."

"So the increased appetite?"

"Yes. You'll sleep more too. May be restless at times and heightened strength and senses."

I slouched back in the chair and rubbed my hand over my forehead. "This is so messed up," I whispered.

Dimitri hummed in agreeance but didn't say anything further. Out of curiosity, I probed the bond and could feel his thoughts running ramped. There were so many things and the one that stood out the most made me pull back.

I wasn't sure where we were going to go from here. Despite him making the choices for the right reasons, my trust was still damaged. I wasn't sure if I could go back to what we had.

"I did Gatsby for my midterm," I offered quietly, trying to offer an olive branch. Regardless of my feelings, he was still my best friend, and I wanted to share that with him. He knew why Gatsby was important to me. There was also a part of me that craved his praise. I wanted to make him proud, despite how much things were.

"You did?"

I pulled my phone away from my ear and went to my photos, looking for a copy of my midterm project and sent it to him. I could hear the ping on his phone and waited, listening to his breathing. I picked at the rip in my jeans, pulling the string absently.

"Roza, you did amazing," he said happily. I smiled to myself and chewed on my nail. I could feel the roll of pride from him and while I momentarily basked in it, I pulled back and closed myself off. I didn't want the bond to be the only thing drawing me to him.

I didn't want to be dependent on the bond to fix things. I wanted to fix my heart and soul. I needed to rebuild and I couldn't use the joy of the bond to be a crutch. My love for him hadn't changed, but I needed to heal everything else. The problem was me, not him.

"I should probably get going. I'm going to visit Lissa in the morning before going home."

"Can I see you?"

I was silent as I watched the lights of a police car glow as it passed. "I'll think about it. I still need to process some things," I said quietly.

I could feel that Dimitri wanted to push, but he didn't. "Sleep well, Roza. I love you."

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the tingle that took over my body. "You too. Good night comrade," I whispered as I hung up. I dropped my phone into my lap and covered my face with my hands, groaning quietly. I sighed heavily and stood up, going back into the house. Ellison and Sydney were watching t.v. still, both pretending like they hadn't been listening to me outside.

"Are you okay?" Sydney asked timidly.

I looked at her tiredly and shrugged. "I don't know. Ellison? I figured we'd leave by nine? Is that okay?"

Ellison nodded and sipped his water. "Sounds fine to me."

I nodded and waved at the two of them. "I'm going to bed. I need to shut my brain off," I mumbled. The two of them called after me as I went to my room. I stripped and pulled out clothes to wear to bed, crawling over the covers and flopped down.

Absently, I reached up and toyed with the chains around my neck. The glass bead Baba gave me was cold against my skin, and the Russian cursive was warm. I ran my fingers over the letters and closed my eyes, lulling myself into a false sense of calmness. If I could make it through tomorrow, I could make it through being at home for Thanksgiving.


I signed my name on the sheet and took my visitor's pass, dropping all of my belongings into the bucket.

"You need to take that out," the nurse said, pointing at my face. I touched it and felt the hoop on my nose.

"I've never had to take it out," I said but the nurse shook her head.

"New rule. Either take it out, or flip it."

I shrugged and moved the ring around so that it laid flat against my nostril and took my necklaces off, carefully setting them into the bag.

"I can only give you twenty minutes today, Vasilisa is very agitated," the nurse said as we walked down the hall. I had gotten used to the other nurse that worked on this floor. I think her name was Betty. This one looked like a drill sergeant when Betty looked like a sweet grandma.

I nodded and waited for the nurse to open the door to the day room, toying with my shirt. I heard the buzzer go off and I stepped in, giving the nurse a small smile. I looked over the room and found Lissa sitting by the window, tucked up in the chair. I made my way to her and sat in the chair opposite.

"Hey, Liss," I said softly so I didn't startle her. Lissa's eyes were trained on something outside before she turned to me.

"Rose," she said quietly.

"How are you?"

Lissa shrugged, looking around the room. "Did Christian come with you?"

I furrowed my brows at her. "Christian?" I asked.

Lissa nodded. "Yeah. He said he was going to come see me," she said quietly. I tried to keep the look of confusion off my face and licked my lips nervously.

"Did Christian come to visit you?"

Lissa nodded. "Yes. He said he was going to come back after he talked to you."

I couldn't keep my face straight anymore. "You remember?"

"Remember what?" she asked innocently. I frowned and whispered I would be right back, looking for one of the nurses I recognized. When I did I waved her over.

"Lissa remembers someone visiting her?" I asked, "Is her memory coming back?"

The nurse frowned. "We aren't really sure. She remembered her visitor from yesterday and has asked about him repeatedly, but anything else, she forgets. We asked her what she had for breakfast an hour after and she couldn't remember. She couldn't remember my name either," she explained.

I sighed and felt my shoulder slump. "But how could she remember Christian?"

The nurse shook her head. "It happens. Sometimes patients remember small things, but not everything. But take this as a sign of improvement," she said quietly but encouragingly. I nodded and went back to Lissa, sitting back in the seat beside her.

She was fixated on the snow falling outside, her finger twirling her hair. "How is Dimitri? Did he give you his gift yet?"

I swallowed thickly and nodded. "He did. It was a necklace, remember? My name?"

Lissa looked at me with confusion on her face and shook her head. "I don't. When is Andre going to visit again?"

I reached over and took her head. "Lissa. Andre is dead. Remember? He died in the car accident with your parents in July. I was in the accident too," I said softly. Lissa looked at me blankly and I hated it, I hated that my best friend couldn't remember shit.

I hated watching this part. The moment it all sinks in for her. Over and over, I had to watch that moment sink in. She tried to keep herself composed, looking back outside.

"How many times have you told me that?" she asked.

"Every weekend. It's Thanksgiving weekend," I whispered. Lissa's lip quivered and she nodded her head, a few tears slipping down her pale cheeks. The only upside of this condition was that within an hour, she wouldn't remember anymore.

It would still be July thirtieth in her mind.

I reached out and brushed her loose hair away from her face, the usually straight hair kinked up and waved.

"I love you, Liss," I said softly, reaching for her hand again. Lissa nodded and tried to give me a weak smile.

"I love you too," she whispered, "Maybe Dimitri can come to visit sometime? I wouldn't mind seeing another face."

I smiled at her and nodded, knowing that even if it physically hurt me to be in the same room as Dimitri, I'd do it for her. Just to give her something she asked for, even if she didn't know it.

"Of course," I said, "How about I braid your hair before I go? The nurses said you've always liked that?"

Lissa nodded and I pulled my elastic out of my hair, standing so I was behind her. I carefully plaited her hair and wove it together, collecting all of her hair into a dutch braid that came around to the side so she could play with the end of it. I feel myself steady as I did it, grounding myself and pretending that it was just another day braiding Lissa's hair because she never got the hang of it.

By the time I was finished, I knew she had completely forgotten it was me braiding her hair, smiling at me when she saw my face. I smiled at her and sat down again, preparing to say goodbye when a new person entered the room. I tapped Lissa's shoulder and pointed, hoping that she might still remember asking about Christian.

She turned and I watched her eyes light up, a smile growing on her face. She stood up and floated towards him, throwing her arms around his neck. I took selfish enjoyment in her moment. I would take anything if it meant she was getting better, that her brain was healing from the trauma.

Christian walked Lissa back over to me and Lissa sat, beaming up at him. I stood up to give him my seat and tilted my head toward him.

"She was asking if you were coming today," I said so he knew there was a little bit of progress. Christina nodded and gave me a thin-lipped smile as he sat. I stroked Lissa's head before leaving and headed towards the door, waiting for the buzz to tell me the door was unlocked.

I pulled my hands into the sleeves of my coat as I walked back to my car, shaking my head to find Ellison still in it.

"Are you crazy? It's freezing," I hissed when I got in but found that the car was warm inside.

"I just got back in a few minutes ago and ran the heater. You said you wouldn't be in there longer than forty-five minutes."

I nodded and thanked him for the second to-go cup in the cup holder. I needed all the caffeine I could get. I took a large gulp of it and frowned.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Hot chocolate?"

I made a face and took another sip. Nobody made hot chocolate like Dimitri did, and I found myself comparing it to his everywhere I went. I even made Thom change how it was done at work because I couldn't stand it.

I put the car into reverse and back out of the spot, pulling onto the interstate to head home.

"How was your friend?" Ellison asked, turning the radio down.

I shrugged. "Okay, but not great. She remembered a friend mentioning yesterday that he was going to see her, so that's a plus," I explained, "But she forgot I was there when I was braiding her hair."

"Retrograde?"

"Anterograde," I said, "She can't remember new information."

Ellison sighed. "That's rough. You have to retell her the same information over and over again?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Because she's an orphan, her grandparents felt it was better for her to stay at the facility until she improves."

"That sucks, but she remembered her friend?"

I nodded. "I'll take what I can get," I said quietly and took another sip of my hot chocolate. Ellison didn't push on the topic, noticing that it was a sad topic for me. All I could think about to distract me was the pending feast that was waiting for us.

When we turned onto my street, Ellison sat up and looked curiously out the window.

"This is where you grew up?" he asked quietly in acute awe.

I nodded. "Yep."

"It's nice," he said sitting back in his seat. He looked at me and scrunched his face up. "Am I underdressed?"

I shook my head. "No, you look fine. We keep it casual," I said as I turned into the driveway, groaning quietly. There was a black Escalade parked next to mom's truck.

"Oh no."

"What?" Ellison asked.

I stared at the Escalade in the driveway and groaned, thumping my head back against the headrest.

"If this gets awkward, I'm so sorry. I didn't know he was going to be here," I said as I got out of the car, grabbing my bag out of the backseat. Ellison shrugged and grabbed his bag too, shouldering it with a carefree look.

I led him to the front door and took a deep breath, knowing that this was going to be a huge shitshow.

"Hello?" I called out as I opened the door, setting my bag on the bench inside. I gestured for Ellison to do the same and toed my shoes off. I took a deep breath and walked further into the house, rounding into the living room with Ellison.

My eyes met Dimitri's almost immediately, my body drawn to his. I saw something change in his eyes before I felt his barrier slam into place, blocking me out. I tried not to let that hurt so on my face when I found my mother's glare.

"I thought Ellison was a girl. You said your roommate was a girl."

I rolled my eyes. "I do have a girl roommate. Her name is Sydney."

"And where is she?"

I rolled my eyes again and moved into the living, flopping down on the couch. Ellison lingered by the hall and I gestured for him to come in. He moved and sat beside me rigidly, not sure what to do.

"Ellison; these are my parents and Dimitri. This is my roommate, Ellison," I said introducing them. Baba was the gracious host as always and moved to involve Ellison in the conversation, but I could feel the burning glare on my shoulder. I glanced up at Dimitri and found his gaze on me. It was so intense that it took everything in me not to cringe back in my spot.

There were so many things in his eyes; confusion, hurt, jealousy, but something burned there too.

Anger. So much Anger.


If I suspected my parents were behind the unexpected dinner guest, I was sure now. Mom purposely made Ellison sit beside her on one side of the table, while I had to sit between Baba and Dimitri. I sat rigidly in my car and was heavy-handed when pouring myself a glass of wine. My mother narrowed her eyes at me but I ignored her, sipping it without care.

"So Ellison, avoiding your parents this year?" Baba asked with a laugh, and I choked, not expecting Baba to bring it up. I coughed and sputtered, covering my mouth with my hand. I turned to the side and Dimitri rested his hand on my back, running it soothingly. I would have shrugged him off if I could breathe over my coughing.

"Um, no. I'm an orphan," Ellison said, "I was left outside of a woman's house when I was three days old. The woman who found me is my case worker, Ellen. She was the one who named me," Ellison explained.

"It's a peculiar name. Where did it come from?" Baba asked as he offered Ellison a glass of wine. Ellison took it and chuckled.

"It was her father's name. He was a war vet. Really nice guy. I had mentioned to Rose that Ellen always has welcomed me in her house on holidays, but she is visiting her sister this year," Ellison said.

"That's very kind of her," Dimitri said, "Growing up in the system must have been difficult."

Ellison nodded and gave a small shrug. "Is your family not around?"

"This is my family," Dimitri said and looked at him, eyes training on him.

"Extended," Dimitri added, "My mother and babushka and sisters are all in Russia."

I speared a piece of turkey aggressively with my fork as Dimitri spoke, shoving the food into my mouth. My parents kept kind and light chatter with our guests, while I choose to fill my face. If I was busy eating, I couldn't make any snide comments.

"What program are you taking?" Dimitri asked politely, but I could feel that he was doing it to save face.

"Web design. It's not as exciting as what Rose does, but it's fun."

"Unfortunately, we do not get to see much of Rose's work," Baba butted in, "It's rare if we see any. She's very secretive about it."

Ellison quirked a brow and looked at me. "You've been holding out on them? You're a dick."

I shrugged and reached for the bottle of wine, planning on filling my glass. I managed to pour a little into the glass when Dimitri took it from me, setting it down on the table. I glared at him and picked up again, using my other hand to pour it into my glass.

"I've seen a bit of it. She is remarkable," Dimitri said with a bit of gravel in his voice. I sighed and went back to eating, shaking my head the slightest bit.

"You're lucky you got to see any of it," I muttered under my breath.

Mom cleared her throat and I looked up at her. "What?"

She looked from my face to my plate. "Are you going to leave any of that for the rest of us?" she asked with a hint of a grin. I furrowed my brows and looked at my plate and then at the plates around me. I hadn't realized I had taken a second helping larger than my first.

"Freshman fifteen, Kiz? Making up for all the junk you eat at school?" Baba laughed with a wink, tracing the rim of his glass.

I took a slow breath and set my fork on my plate, feeling uncomfortable. Ever since the car accident, I had eaten almost double what I used to, and even then, I ate a lot for my size.

"This isn't normal?" Ellison asked, "I thought you just had a really healthy appetite."

Dimitri shifted on the chair beside me and cleared his throat. "This is normal. Rose has always had a healthy appetite," Dimitri said kindly, his hand resting on the top of my chair. Dimitri brushed his fingers over the back of my shoulder, letting his barriers down long enough to send a quick thought.

Don't feel bad.

I gritted my teeth and took another sip of my wine. Ellison seemed to sense the tension and changed the subject.

"What do you do, Dimitri?" Ellison asked kindly.

Dimitri looked at me and then turned his attention to Ellison. "I'm an English Professor," Dimitri said.

Ellison nodded. "Didn't you apply for English as well, Rose?"

I scoffed and shook my head. "I thought about it, by the Professor made that decision for me. Made the decision for me to apply to art school too," I said bitterly as I stood up, picking up my plate. I picked up Dimitri's empty plate and gestured to Ellison's. He nodded and handed it to me, while I went and grabbed my parents.

I always avoided doing the dishes when I lived at home, but now, I wanted to get away. Ellison stood up to help me but Dimitri stood up too, raising a hand to Ellison.

"Sit, please. I'll help her," Dimitri said, picking up a few plates to pack up the food. I gulped back the rest of my glass and cleared the plates into the garbage while the sick filled with water. I could hear Dimitri setting dishes down on the counter behind me and packing up the food. I kept my back to him the whole time but turned when he closed the door between the kitchen and dining room. We never used the door unless Baba was doing a meeting in the dining room.

I put the dishes into the filled sink and pulled others from Dimitri's hands, not acknowledging him past that. Dimitri stood beside me with a towel and was drying the dishes, looking at me every so often.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I snapped, "I told you last night that I would think about if I wanted to see you, and yet, here you are!"

Dimitri sighed and set the plate on another clean one. "Your father invited me. It would have been rude to say no."

"You don't even eat," I hissed, "You're using this as an excuse."

I could feel Dimitri getting agitated. "Why are you so upset I'm here? Because you brought him?"

I scoffed and let go of the knife I was cleaning, setting it on the counter so I wasn't holding it anymore.

"Why? Are you jealous?" I asked with bite. Dimitri's jaw ticked and I latched onto it, knowing the button to push. Maybe there was a downside to mates, we knew each other too well. We knew exactly where to push.

"Are you jealous that I brought another man into my house? To meet my family?" I asked, not quietly but just loud enough to taunt.

"A man that I live with? A man who has been around every day for three months?" I pushed. Dimitri turned to face me, and I could see the anger flare in his eyes.

"Why does it bother you so much that I have someone else to lean on?"

Dimitri stepped toward me in a blink and had me backed into the counter, looming over me.

"Because you are my mate!" he hissed, "And no man has a right to touch you!"

"Who said anything about him touching me?" I asked, tilting my head up to look him in the eyes. I took sick satisfaction in how fired up he was, and I smirked at him.

"You know what sucks about mates?" I asked. Dimitri didn't say anything, just glared down at me. I rose up on my toes, so my face was closer to his.

"Free will," I whispered, my eyes boring into his. I saw his jaw tick again before his hand cupped the back of my head, pulling me towards him in a smouldering kiss.

The anger that fueled the kiss was intoxicating, and while I wanted to pull back, the part of my soul that longed for him wouldn't let me. I stretched up further and cupped his cheeks, letting him pull me flush to his body. I shuttered feeling the hard ridges of his body pressed against mine and I bit at his lip, tugging it aggressively. Dimitri's hand left my neck but gripped my thighs, hoisting me onto the edge of the counter. His hand didn't leave my leg, instead gripping my knee and pulling me closer to him.

I dragged my nails over his neck, gasping for breath when I pulled away. Dimitri's lips moved to my neck, kissing and sucking the places that he knew would make me melt. I tilted my head back with a sigh when he nipped at the juncture of my neck, his fangs scraping against the skin.

Feeling his teeth on my skin seemed to snap why I was angry at him into focus. I pulled back roughly and suckered punched him in the mouth. I was shocked that I did it but I pushed him back enough and slipped off the counter.

"Don't do that again," I hissed quietly, my chest heaving and my lips puffy. My hand hurt a little from the impact on his face. Dimitri touched his mouth out of reaction before his eyes flicked to mine again, the bond open completely. The hit didn't anger him, it turned him on.

Dimitri chuckled darkly and ducked his head down again, claiming my lips one more time while his hands held my waist. The kiss was short but heavy and he pulled away, boldly stroking my lip with his thumb.

"You can't pretend that you didn't enjoy it, or didn't want it," Dimitri whispered, his finger tapping my forehead lightly.

"I'm in here, remember? I know what your thoughts are, and if you didn't want me in the slightest, you would have pushed me away immediately."

I gaped at him, but he pulled back, opening the door to the dining room before I could form a word. I exhaled sharply and ran my hand through my hair, turning back to the sink and finishing the last few dishes.


Despite being home and in my bed with my sheets, I couldn't sleep. I could hear my parents breathing from here, and I could hear Ellison's from the guest room. And the ache in my chest was so intense it was a form of punishment. I rubbed my hand over my chest and winced, hating how the ache not only lingered in my chest but had spread down my arm and into the palm of my hand.

After touching Dimitri, the ache increased. Distancing had helped me ignore it, but now that I was in the same city as him, it was harder to ignore. Especially since I could still smell his cologne on my skin.

The window opened with the quietest of squeak and I sighed, looking over at the window. Dimitri didn't wait for me to say anything, just slipped through the window and closed it. I glared at him as he took his duster off and shoes.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Dimitri pulled the hair tie from his hair and walked towards me, pulling the blanket up so he could slip in beside me.

"I'm helping you," he said quietly.

"I don't recall asking for your help," I snapped but Dimitri met me with a sharp look of his own.

"I can feel you, and you've been masking the pain for too long. It's going to get worse," he said rolling onto his side. I huffed and shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You're delusional," I whispered but Dimitri just hummed, gesturing for me to roll onto my side too. I rolled away from him, my arms still crossed when he pressed his body against my back, arm wrapping around my waist and holding me tight. He rested his head against mine and kissed my hair, his hand coming up and gripping my other shoulder gently. The heat of his hand over my chest was soothing..

As we laid there I felt the ache start to dissipate, fading slowly. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, gritting my teeth because as the anger started to seep out of my body from his physical comfort, the hurt took over.

I would not cry in front of him, but a few defiant tears escaped, rolling down my cheeks. Dimitri doesn't make a comment or let on that he knew what was happening, instead, he just kissed my hair again.

"You cut your hair," Dimitri whispered into the dark room.

I nodded my head. "Yeah. I kind of hate it. It's too short."

Dimitri's breathing was starting to match mine and I could feel his heart beating against my back.

"I think it looks beautiful. You're always going to be beautiful to me," he said tenderly. I closed my eyes and gave a small nod of my head. As I let the smell of him and the heat of his body envelope me, I slipped into a sleep so deep, that I didn't remember falling asleep.


I promise we will return to our regularly scheduled Romitri Fluff.