Thanks for the reviews DS2010, Guest, and Ayuma-chan!

Ren cursed under his breath as he removed the last screw and saw the broken wires beneath the metal surface of the control panel. His lightsaber had cut right through some of them, explaining why some of the controls no longer worked. Rey came up behind him, peering around his shoulder to see the damage.

"That's not as bad as I thought." Rey said and Ren looked at her incredulously.

"Rey, it's going to take hours." Ren said.

"We've got time." Rey said, with a shrug. "We'll visit the castle tomorrow."

Ren looked at her, surprised by how easy going she was. Did she not realize that Mortis was a ticking time bomb? That every day she wasn't trying to figure out how to balance out their dyad was another day that Mortis would crack under their feet? Well, if she didn't realize it, he certainly wasn't going to point it out to her.

"Alright." He said, getting to work.

Rey walked back over to the other side of the cockpit, continuing her work over there. Ren began the process of soldering the wires back together, the monotony of it making his mind wander.

He still felt thrown off; unbalanced. He was used to the grief and the guilt that made him quite literally sick to his stomach. These feelings had become commonplace for him. What had thrown him off was Rey's response to it.

She had somehow managed to drag to the surface thoughts and feelings he had been suppressing for years. And now he wasn't sure how to get rid of them again. All of the resentment and hurt he'd felt as a child at being left behind and ignored at every turn suddenly felt fresh all over again even though he had thought he had long since risen above caring about it. He'd voiced his old obsession with making his family proud without thinking and he'd immediately been struck by how childish it sounded. He had been stupid to think that he could make them proud, or that if he did, they would suddenly start paying more attention to him. He'd been a pathetic, needy child and that was why he'd had to kill Ben Solo and become Kylo Ren.

Or so he'd told himself.

Ren grit his teeth, trying to push these uncomfortable thoughts from his mind. He needed to focus on the job at hand and stay in the present. The past was dead and Ren needed to ensure it stayed that way. Rey was his future. Rey and the First Order. Together they would change the fate of the galaxy forever. He didn't have time to be distracted by things that were long gone.

They worked in silence for a few hours until Ren finished the wires and stood up, dusting off his hands. He let out a sigh, relieved the task was done. Rey looked up from where she was still working, and then glanced at the repaired wires.

"See, not so bad." She said.

"I'm going to eat dinner." Ren said. "Will you join me?"

"Actually, I had an idea." Rey said, gesturing for him to follow her out of the cockpit. He followed her into the kitchen, finding the table covered in baskets of wheat.

"Rey, what is all of this?" He asked, frowning.

"Have you never seen wheat before?" Rey asked, walking over to the nearest cupboard and opening it. "We're going to make bread."

"Rey, how are we going to make bread? We could barely make soup." Ren said, watching Rey rummage through the cupboards and pull out different types of machines. He didn't even know what half of them were for. C3PO had been the only one who had ever really used them.

"There was a woman who sold flour - real, proper flour - at the market on Jakku." Rey said, without looking up. "She got wheat from some off world trader and sold the flour for a fortune. No one local bought it but she made enough money off selling it to the people passing through to make a living."

"This doesn't answer my question." Ren said, leaning against the doorframe.

"Shh, I was getting there. Just listen." Rey said, pulling out a giant dusty machine and setting it on the table.

She looked up at him, a triumphant look on her face. "The woman used something like this to grind the wheat into flour." Rey said. "I used to watch her do it. She'd take off the outer layer, throw away the stems, and then grind the insides."

"So you know how to make flour." Ren said. "Then what? Bread takes more than just flour."

Rey shrugged. "We'll figure it out." She said nonchalantly. "We can just experiment until we get something edible."

Ren let out a short laugh. Of course, she would just figure it out. Just like she did everything else. No one had taught her how to use a lightsaber when she had impulsively decided to fight him that day on Starkiller base. She hadn't had a clue what she was doing but still she'd managed to cut his face so badly it was still scarred. No one had taught her how to fly a ship but she now knew the ins and outs of flying the Falcon just as well as he did. She knew how to figure things out - it was her greatest strength. She was adaptable and resilient, like a weed that could grow even in the harshest conditions.

"Don't laugh." Rey said, pointing a finger at him. "Help me."

Ren rolled his eyes as he walked over to take a seat next to her. She showed him how to remove the outer layer of the wheat and then handed him a basket. She got to work on her own basket, her tiny fingers working quickly, with the dexterity of someone who was used to working with their hands. Ren watched her work, almost mesmerized by the agility of her hands and the determined set of her brow. She was special. There was something unique about her. No one else could be this strong.

And she was fearless. She was wholly unafraid of failure. Except...except when it came to the Jedi. She was afraid she would fall to the Dark Side. He could sense her self doubt just beneath the surface of her skin and it reminded him of the way he had felt before he'd become Kylo Ren. She knew she was too passionate for the Jedi - too wild and headstrong. Her life had made her tough but it had also hurt her deeply. She was lonely and unsure of her place in the world and it was this that prevented her from being the Jedi she longed to be.

As if sensing his thoughts, Rey looked up and narrowed her eyes at him. "It's going to take all day if you keep going that slowly."

Ren tore his eyes away from Rey to focus on the task at hand but he was unable to keep his mind from wandering back to Rey. Sweet, strong Rey, who longed for connection but pulled away from him because being connected to him hurt her. Rey, who longed for belonging but distanced herself from the dyad she belonged to. He wanted to tell her she belonged with him; that she never had to be lonely again. They were a dyad and she would be better off once he finally succeeded at showing her that the Dark Side was not the great evil the Jedi claimed it was. He would broaden her mind and accept her as she was - no one else could offer her this.

But lately a nagging doubt had been growing in the back of his mind that maybe Rey was right. Maybe he would just hurt her and let her down. Maybe he just wasn't good enough for her.


By the time they finished removing the outside of the wheat, Rey's stomach was growling with hunger. They agreed to set aside the wheat for the day and eat some leftover soup. They warmed it up and then brought it into the main cabin, setting down the bowls on the Dejarik board, seeing as the kitchen table was covered in wheat.

They ate in silence for a while, Rey shooting Ren furtive glances out of the corner of her eye. The Force around him felt different today. Instead of the chaotic feelings of pain and anger that usually radiated from him, there existed something else. Something quieter and sadder.

"So we'll leave first thing tomorrow morning to find the castle." Rey said, to break the silence.

Ren looked up, disappointment in his eyes. Rey frowned, even more confused.

"Right?" Rey asked, when he didn't answer.

Ren nodded. "Of course." He said, returning his attention to his soup.

Rey watched him in silence for a moment, her brow creasing with worry.

Ren noticed her gaze and looked back up. "What?" He asked, an edge to his voice.

"You've been acting strange all day." Rey said. "Are you okay?"

"Strange how?" Ren asked, and Rey shook her head.

"I don't know...quieter?" Rey replied.

Ren leaned back against the back of the bench. "You've been quieter too." He said, and Rey realized in surprise that she had.

"You miss your friends." Ren said, and Rey looked at him in surprise. "They made you feel like you belonged somewhere."

Rey frowned, suddenly feeling see-through. "I do belong somewhere." She said. "I belong with the Resistance. With the Jedi."

"You're so much more than that though." Ren said. "You're afraid you're not the Jedi you think you should be. You're afraid of the Darkness inside you. But you don't have to be. It makes you stronger-"

"Ben, please-" Rey sighed, but Ren continued on.

"You're stronger because of what you overcame." Ren said and Rey felt the remark she was going to make die on her lips. "You're a survivor. You don't need to be afraid of who you are."

Rey stared at him, her heart feeling uncomfortably full all of a sudden.

"I know Skywalker was afraid of you." Ren continued and Rey felt her stomach flip. "He was afraid of me too. He was afraid of our power because he couldn't control it."

"Or he was afraid because we can't control it." Rey said, the words falling out of her mouth before she realized what she was saying. Ren stared at her, a fear in his eyes that confirmed her suspicions.

"I've seen you when you're angry." Rey continued. "You're not in control. You will destroy things and hurt people and then regret it later."

"The whole point of the Dark Side is to give in to your desires and become who you truly are." Ren said, his hands tightening into fists. "The Jedi try to suppress their emotions. They pretend to be something they're not. The Dark Side is authentic. I may be a monster but at least I am not pretending to be otherwise."

Rey frowned, certain there was something wrong with what he was saying but unable to pinpoint exactly what.

"You're allowed to feel angry that your parents abandoned you." Ren continued, a bitter undertone to his voice. "Why should you have to forgive them when they did nothing to deserve it?"

Rey frowned, looking up to meet his gaze. The sadness in his eyes gave her the answer she had been looking for.

"Because holding onto anger hurts you." She said. "Letting it control you hurts you. I don't want to live like that so I choose to give my parents the benefit of the doubt."

Ren shook his head, anger flashing behind his eyes. "They hurt you. It is their fault you are alone. Why should you have to bear the burden of forgiving them? How is this fair?"

"It's not fair." Rey said quickly, a flicker of anger burning in her own stomach. "I know it's not fair. It's just how it is. If you want to be happy, you have to choose to forgive. You can't let them ruin your life. You have to fix it yourself."

Ren made no reply, his eyes boring a hole into the table. She could feel his anger through the Force, hot and vengeful. She could sense he wanted to destroy things but he repressed the desire, just barely maintaining control over his emotions.

"Why would I fix it when I can use the power anger gives me?" He said, after a moment. "The more pain I feel, the stronger the Dark Side grows. Why should I not use the pain as a weapon?"

Rey sighed. "This morning you said you were desperate for the pain to go away, now you want to hold onto it to remain powerful? Which one is it?"

Ren opened his mouth to protest and then shut it again, looking confused. Rey was also confused. But even more than that, she was tired of this conversation. This conversation that they kept returning to over and over again and rehashing with no resolution. Light vs dark, Resistance vs First Order, Jedi vs Sith... She was tired of arguing with him.

"I'm going to go to bed." Rey said, standing up and grabbing her bowl.

Ren looked up at her, a hint of panic in his eyes. "Already?"

Rey met his gaze, feeling his fear through the Force. How could she force him to sleep when she knew what he would face? When she could see how terrified he was?

They went to place the dishes in the washer and then Rey readied her bed for the night. She glanced over at Ren, who sat in his bunk, his knees bent, staring at the other wall. Once she was in bed, Rey flicked off the light with the Force, and then rolled onto her side to look at Ren. She couldn't bring herself to force him to sleep. She just couldn't.

"You're being creepy, Rey." Ren said, noticing her gaze, and Rey rolled onto her back.

"As if you don't stare at me when you think I'm not looking." Rey replied, resisting the urge to glance over to see the look on his face.

At least, she could feel his shock through the Force and that was satisfaction enough.

She heard him lay down and when she glanced over again, she found him lying on his side and looking at her. She rolled over to face him. "See, now who's being creepy?"

"So defensive." Ren said, the hint of a smirk on his lips. "Clearly I touched a nerve."

"Go to sleep." Rey said and Ren's smirk faded.

A light rain started up, pattering on the roof of the Falcon.

"Rey...?" Ren asked, after a moment.

"Yea?" Rey replied, something in his expression more vulnerable, and less certain, than she'd ever seen it.

"Can you use the Force to put me to sleep?" He asked, and Rey stared at him in shock.

"You want me to?" She asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

Ren looked almost embarrassed. "I can't think..." He said. "It's like my head is stuck in a fog and I can't-"

"Okay." Rey said, crawling out of bed and walking over to sit next to him.

She looked down at him and was struck by how fragile he seemed. This man, who was feared across the galaxy, looked more like a frightened boy than the Supreme Leader of a brutal authoritarian regime. He looked up at her with fear in his dark brown eyes and Rey touched his shoulder.

"You'll wake me up though...right?" He asked, and Rey nodded.

"I promise." She said, lifting her hand until it hovered right in front of his face.

"Wait." Ren said, frantically, pulling her hand down. "How will you know when to wake me up-"

"I'll know." Rey said, gently. "We're connected. I promise you, I'll know."

Reluctantly, Ren let go of her hand and Rey brought it back over his face. "Goodnight Ben." She said.

With a flick of her hand, he fell unconscious, his head falling to the side. Rey looked down at him, her chest full of some emotion she didn't understand. She reached out and gently pushed his hair out of his eyes, her fingers lingering on his face a moment too long.

Standing up, Rey pulled the blanket up over him and then went back to her own bed. She curled up in a ball and closed her eyes, trying to calm the racing of her own heart and the feelings she would not allow herself to name.