DeLaynie Kanes POV
So, after that text convo, I was getting suspicious. Who was Dad texting, and why did Dad seem happy texting them? So I did the only thing I could think of: I stole Dad's phone, and friend myself. I know what you are thinking: how did you get in it and figure out who he was texting?
It was surprisingly easy, as Dad used an easy to guess password. And Dad's phone had a feature that let you see how long you had someone in your contacts. It was perfectly easy.
I snuck the phone into Nicos room so he could help me if this guy proved to be dangerous or not. Dad was getting Carter and Sadie set up in their rooms, so we had some time.
I decided to text him a riddle to determine if he was friend or foe.
#######################################################################################################
Me
A woman goes to a funeral and meets a handsome man. He leaves, and she feels sad, as she did not get his number. A few days later, she kills her brother.
Why did she kill him?
Lord of Annoyance
I have no idea. You have the answer?
Me
So she could find handsome man at the funeral.
Lord of Annoyance
How did you know the answer Collateral Damage?
Me
You are texting his awesome daughter, and I asked you that to determine if you were friend or foe.
Lord of Annoyance
Oh, smart idea. Where did you hear that riddle?
Me
Riddles about the mind videos on YouTube.
I'm smarter than most people I know.
Lord of Annoyance
Oh. You a straight A student?
Me
Homeschooled actually. It's easier on both my senses, and my mental health in general.
Nico, my adoptive brother, however, goes to school, and my other adoptive brother Adrian goes to a special needs' kindergarten.
Lord of Annoyance
Thats cool. Can we make this a private chat?
Me
Yes.
You have made a chat with *********************
?
Hey kid.
Me
Hey, do NOT call me kid. I kicked an assassin in her behind once.
SO BACK IT.
?
Wait, what?!
Me
Oh, shoot.
It was before me, and my dad got to where we live now. Calm down.
She was just being a stupid head, if her smoking has anything to say about it.
?
CALM DOWN!? Why was she anywhere near you two?
Me
Long story. Short version is to be careful when disguising yourself as your adoptive parent, and killing their enemies so he can live a peaceful life with you.
And before you freak, his father was the one who helped assassins, Dad just had the bad luck of ending up on ones hitlist.
?
Why would you do that?! And how are you all okay?!
Hold on, Imma hack your phone, and track you so you can be brought to my place and be safe from those assassins.
Me
Not gonna happen. My phone and his are custom made: built to be untrackable and unhackable.
And so is Nicos.
You have saved ****************** as Crazy Adult
ten minutes since texting activity
Crazy Adult
Your right. I can't track or hack your phone.
When I tried, my computer exploded.
Me
Comes with knowing geniuses.
Crazy Adult has saved you as Smarty-pants
Me
Seriously?
Crazy Adult
Consider that payback. Do not worry, I will find a way to save you from those assassins.
Me
How long will this take to get through you: we. are. safe. NOW!
All we have to worry about now are my cousins who are coming to stay for a bit.
Bye!
Crazy Adult
WAIT!
DONT LEAVE ME ON READ!
COME BACK!
#######################################################################################################
I stopped texting him after that, just as Dad came in.
"DeLaynie, Nico, were you two going through my phone?" Dad asked.
"Okay yes," Nico said, knowing we were toast, "and the guy your texting is trying to help now he knows about the assassin incident, that DeLaynie accidentally brought up."
Dad facepalmed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I let it slip until it was too late-" I said.
"DeLaynie," Dad cut me off, "Its ok. Mistakes are made but do try to be more careful."
"I will."
"How are the others doing?"
"Adrian and Carter are napping together, and Sadie is on the couch. Why the merging affecting them so badly I do not know. Now I am taking my phone, and you two are going to nap as well."
Dad rolled his wheelchair over, and we knew there was no way we were getting away from a nap anytime soon.
"Okay." I said, and me and Nico laid down in bed, falling asleep to Dad humming and rubbing Nico's back.
Nico will never admit it, but that always knocks him out.
Tony Starks POV
For two hours I had been attempting to hack their phones. I only ended up breaking two thousand dollars' worth of computers.
I heard Rhodey coming in. He noticed my freaked-out expression, and all the computer parts. Morgan came in as well.
"You get hacked?" Rhodey asked.
"No," I said, handing him my phone, "Read the texts."
He spent five minutes reading through the messages.
"Dang, that sounds rough. Dealing with assassins, and from a young age at that."
"I am trying to hack their devices so I can track them and get rid of the assassins, but my computers keep exploding. They keep insisting they are safe, but those assassins might just come back."
"Daddy, what's going on?" Morgan asked.
"Some bad people are threating a family, and I can't track the family down at all."
"Why?"
"Their phones are making my computers explode."
"Why?"
"I have no idea."
"Maybe you can text them?" Morgan suggested.
"That might work." I said as I pulled out my phone.
Morgan sat in my lap to watch.
#######################################################################################################
Me
Tell me your location!
I can help you with your assassin problem!
Collateral Damage
As my daughter told you, situation is handled. Only problems now are dinner.
And we are thinking pizza.
Me
But, what if they come back?
Your daughter mentioned she had to kill one disguised as you!
Collateral Damage
She was determined to ensure that the chaos that was going down was stopped for good.
And she also wanted payback for him mistreating her in her old school, that we often call The Death School.
The urge to stop chaos comes with her ancestral lineage.
Me
Her lineage?
Collateral Damage
Best I don't give you any more details.
Me
Tell me! or I will get Teenage superhero Superfan to convince you otherwise!
Collateral Damage
How would he convince me?
Me
He is the kindest, purest child ever!
You can't tell him no without feeling overwhelmingly guilty otherwise.
Collateral Damage
Sounds like my six-year-old.
Main reason my daughter always steals him.
Me
Steals him?
Collateral Damage
*Sends picture
There. Some proof we are okay now.
Me
This your family?
Collateral Damage
Yes. I was asked to play saxophone at a pride festival, so I brought the whole gang.
I think Delaynie got the biggest kick out of it.
She sang I see the light, from Tangled, during the lantern launch, and everybody burst out laughing.
It was great.
Nico almost killed her.
And before you ask, yes, she is the type.
Me
Oh, cool.
And may I just say, you and your son look just dashing in those pride outfits.
ESPECIALLY the suit.
Collateral Damage
Thanks.
I gtg, my youngest and nephew just woke up.
Me
Wait, hold on, I have the perfect idea.
You have been added to a group chat with, Spider Baby, Collateral Damage, and Smarty-pants
Me
Hey everybody.
Spider Baby
Mr. Stark?
What's going on?
Smarty Pants
Why did you do this? Just why?
Also, your real name is Stark?
Me
Yes, and really you had to spill Peter?
Collateral Damage
Seriously? Thats Teenage Superhero Superfans real name?
Spider Baby
Yes, and really Mr. Stark? You had to do that?
Me
That ones on me kid.
Collateral Damage
Hold up.
Its 4 pm here.
Shouldn't it be 11 where you are?
Me
I'm an adult, I can legally pull all nighters.
Spider Baby
I am a teenager avoiding failing a class, I can be awake as much as I need to.
Who all is here?
Me
You, Me, Collateral Damage who you know as Musical Hero Dad, and his daughter, who I call Smarty-pants.
Smarty-pants
Hey, we all know I am the best fighter here.
So cut it out with that.
Collateral Damage
Can we all rename each other so I don't get mixed up?
Me
Okay.
Smarty-pants
Let's do it this way: If you know the person IRL, give them a nickname that suits them.
For example, call Dad Jazz Suit.
Collateral Damage
Hey!
you have renamed Collateral Damage Jazz Suit.
Collateral Damage
Everyone rename my daughter Water Cat.
Smarty-pants
Hey!
You have renamed Smarty-pants Water Cat.
Spider Baby
Rename Mr. Stark Metal Builder.
Me
Seriously Parker?
You have been renamed Metal Builder by Water Cat, Jazz Suit, and Spider Baby
Me
Rename Peter Spider Gymnast.
Spider Baby
Hey!
You have renamed Spider Baby Spider Gymnast.
Water Cat
Mind if I ask about the nickname choices?
Spider Baby
Metal Builder gets his nickname because he likes to build stuff with metal.
Me
Spider Gymnast gets his nickname from him liking spiders and being highly elite.
Can I ask about your choices?
Jazz Suit
Water Cat is hers because she loves the ocean, and I can never keep her out of the pool, and because she loves cats and has one as a service animal.
Spider Baby
SHE HAS A CAT?
Water Cat
Yes, and Dad gets his nickname from the fact he plays jazz for a living, and he always wears suits.
Me
He plays jazz?
Hold on, my daughter wants me to ask a question for Jazz Suit.
You up to answer, JS?
Jazz Suit
Sure, lay it on me.
Me
Mo says, what songs do you play?
Jazz Suit
I play whatever I cooked up for it, some blues, some wild type of jazz, that stuff. I even wrote one song.
Water Cat
Want the video I took?
Spider Gymnast
Yes!
Water Cat
*Sends video.
After the video played, Rhodey took Mo to bed.
Spider Gymnast
Dang, Hes good.
Also, MB, did you know this guy saved the world from an evil foe?
And was second in command of an army dedicated to stopping them?
Me
Yeah, kind of. Didn't know that the evil foe he faced threatened the world, and I also didn't know about how he was second in command of an army.
Jazz Suit
Yeah, formerly, I left it to my sister.
I'm dead from cancer caused by poison to that army.
Me
That is oddly specific on your death.
Jazz Suit
Thats actually what caused me to lose most of my leg.
An assassin trying to take my position poisoned me in the main fight, but my daughter stopped him the only way that would ensure he couldn't get back to it. But, of course, the poison was too strong for my doctor cousin to cure without amputation, so she did what she had to do.
Spider Gymnast
Whoa.
Listen, I gtg, my aunt is yelling at me to go to bed.
Water Cat
yeah, Dad we'd better scram. I need food.
Jazz Suit
OK, baby.
We will go eat.
At that moment, my wife threated to toss my coffee out the window. I texted a quick bye and went to rescue my coffee.
