A/N - only a few chapters left! Enjoy!

From the moment they got home, Elliot shut everything else off. He locked the door and told Cragen and the other officers that tonight, all he wanted was to be with his family. If they needed statements, he'd do it tomorrow. But tonight, tonight he was home. Olivia, Bernie, and Noah could feel the fear radiating off his body, coursing through his veins. But he held it together, especially in front of the girls. Olivia and her husband did their best to comfort the girls, making sure not to tell them much of anything. And eventually, since they were so young, they were able to distract them enough to change the subject.

Brooklyn had started to fuss again in the early evening and Olivia gave her her first dose of medicine. Now the five of them were snuggled in Olivia and Elliot's King Sized bed. The girls were in the middle, both fast asleep, for the moment not a care in the world. Noah was in and out of sleep at the end of the bed, still jumpy and alert from earlier. Olivia and Elliot lay on either side of the girls, Elliot's eyes moved from child to child to make sure they were really there, really safe and okay. And while Olivia did the same, she also kept her a close eye on her husband, worried for him too.

Ember was asleep on her own bed beside them. She'd been checked by her vet and they concluded she had two fractured ribs from the kick that Frank had hit her with. She was currently bandaged up and they'd been told to keep her resting as much as possible to heal.

Charlie was closest to her Father, she always slept on her stomach, her curls in her face, her little fists held in fists beside her face, her mouth open, drool dripping from her lips. Brooklyn was curled up beside her Mother, Sparkles clutched in her arms as she breathed in and out. At the moment, Noah seemed to be asleep, one hand resting on his oldest sister's foot as added protection.

In her sleep, Charlie stirred as the rain pelted on the window outside. Her nose scrunched up, and she whimpered slightly, calling to her Dad and he was there, "Right here baby. Shh…"

Olivia saw the way his whole body tensed as he reached for her their youngest. His eyes were wide despite how tired he was, needing to calm her, needing to be the one to support and take care of her. "Daddy…"

She whimpered again and he scooped her up, pressing her against his chest ignoring the ache of the bruises on his body, "Shhh…you're okay. You're okay Charlie."

Reaching over Brooklyn's head, Olivia placed her hand on her husband's shoulder, "El…"

He shook his head and pressed his lips against her forehead, "I think maybe she feels warm. Maybe she's getting sick too. We should-"

"Elliot…she's been wrapped up in the blankets. She's just a little overheated. She's okay."

Charlie nuzzled closer to her Father, whatever was bothering her was now gone and she yawned, slipping once again into a peaceful sleep. When she relaxed, she saw her husband's body slump slightly, relieved, and he rolled them to the side, making sure she was comfortable.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "I've got you, baby. I've got you."

Her little hand reached for his, clutching it in her sleep and Olivia smiled though she saw the tears burning in her husband's eyes, "She sure loves her Daddy…"

Elliot sniffled slightly, "Liv…"

Pressing her fingers into his chin, she tilted his head up, "We're okay."

He turned his head into her palm, and she felt the warm, wet tears leaking from the corner of his eyes though he tried to hold them in, "I…"

"I know…I know."

"Elliot? Olivia?"

They both turned to see Bernie standing in the doorway, wrapped in her bathrobe. She'd been waiting anxiously when they got home. The moment they got to her, she'd burst into tears, hugging each of them, her son extra tight whispering prayers of thanks that he was in one piece. They hadn't told her everything, and part of her wasn't sure she wasn't to hear it all, at least not tonight.

"Mama? You okay?" Elliot asked softly, "What do you need?"

"I'm fine…" She walked slowly into the room, her slippers scuffing on the floor, "I'm just fine, honey."

Olivia's thumb brushed away his tears knowing he wouldn't want his Mother to see them. "Okay…"

She reached out for him just as she'd done when he was a little boy and placed a gentle,r reassuring hand on his arm, "But you…need to take care of yourself."

Elliot shook his head, "I'm fine."

"Elliot, you're in the same clothes you got here in. You should shower. Eat something. Check-in with yourself…with your wife…"

He swallowed hard and looked over at his wife, "She's right you know. The kids are safe right now. And you can't give them your best self when you aren't taking care of yourself."

He bit down hard on his lip, as he looked down at the three sleeping children, "I just…"

"I won't leave their side. And I'll get you if they need you." Bernie placed a gentle, reassuring hand on his arm, "You need to look out for yourself too honey. Your Dad never did…and look where it got him."

The mere mention of his Father sent a rush of adrenaline through his body. A million different feelings coursed through him. Some good, some bad. Had his Father been a killer? Had he pulled the trigger? If so, was it done to protect his wife and son? After all this time, did he sympathize and understand his Father more than he did before? Or was he angry? Even angrier than he had been? The truth was…he didn't know how to feel.

Right now he just felt…numb.

His hands started shaking and he knew that he was going to fall apart any second. Lucky for him, so did his wife. At some point, she'd crawled off the bed and was now standing beside him, looping her arm through his, whispering his name, "Elliot…"

His heart pounded, echoing in his ears making him feel like he was drowning. Slowly, painfully, he tossed his legs over the edge of the bed, feeling his feet hit the cold floor below. Bernie and Olivia both lifted him, guiding him towards the door to the bedroom.

"Mom?"

Olivia looked behind her, "Go back to sleep honey…we're fine."

Bernie looked at her daughter-in-law, "You have him from here?"

Olivia looked over her husband's shoulder and nodded, letting Bernie know she'd never let her son fall, "I've got him."

Bernie smiled softly, gratefully, and stepped back, moving towards the bed. She sat beside Noah, putting her hand on his arm, and the young boy slightly relaxed. Pushing the door open with her foot, she began to guide her husband down the hall. Though their bathroom was bigger, with their children in the bedroom, she chose to lead him downstairs. As they moved, she could tell it was taking all of his strength to take each step. His large body shook and trembled as they moved, his shoulders rising and falling, shuddering breaths leaving his lips, "I've got you, babe. I've got you."

The room felt like it was spinning as she walked him into the bathroom on the first floor. She shut the door behind him and propped him up against the wall, "Liv…"

"Shhh…"

He watched through tear-filled eyes as she walked around the room, grabbing towels, turning the shower on, and adjusting the temperature and pressure. Turning back to him, she smiled softly, trying to calm him, let him know he wasn't alone and that he was safe. And if he needed it, he could fall apart here.

Pushing his back into the wall behind him, he swallowed the large lump in his throat, "I almost lost you today…"

As she began to walk towards him, the first loud sob escaped his lungs, "But you didn't."

He tried to lift his arms, tried to reach for her but they felt weighted down, maybe by shame, fear, and anger. But tonight, she was strong enough for the both of them. Her smaller hands began to undress him, revealing his cuts and bruises inch by inch. He watched her bit her lip when she traced the marks left by Frank's hands. "I could have lost you too…"

His voice cracked as he spoke, "But you didn't…"

Lifting her head, she slid her hand up to the side of his neck, massaging his skin gently, "Elliot…"

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead into hers, "I wanted him dead. God, I wanted to do it…I would have done it Liv, I would have done it."

"Shhh…"

She pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, then moved down his jaw, neck, and chest, lingering over the tattoo on his chest. The one with her badge number on it, feeling the steady beating of his heart below his skin. The sign that he was still here, still alive, still beside her in this life.

Frank had not won…

She moved lower, kneeling before him to begin to strip him fully of his clothes. He had one hand on the wall behind him, and the other on her shoulder, unable to hold himself up. She'd never seen him so defeated, so weak. Even after the fire, when his body had been broken down, he still had a fire in his eyes, something to fight for. But he looked, far away, looked afraid and unsure of himself. She had to put the broken pieces of him back together, just as he had done for her so many times before.

She kissed along his leg, and stood up in front of him again, caressing him gently, "I love you."

He swallowed hard, his shoulders caving in, his body shaking harder, "You shouldn't…"

She shook her head, pressed her fingers on either side of his face, and kissed him gently, "But I do. And I always will."

He felt her pulling him towards the shower, and he followed though he felt that his movements weren't his own. She had to help step over the lip of the tub and he all but stumbled, gasping as the warm water hit his cold body. "You good?"

He grunted a response and leaned into the tile wall, "Need you."

She nodded slowly, standing by the sink as she stripped her own clothes, leaving them in a pile with his in the corner of the bathroom. She was physically exhausted and wished she could sleep for days. But right now, she had to hold it together, let him unravel, be the one to carry the weight of it all. She positioned him under the shower spray, easing him back slightly, "Right here."

He closed his eyes tight, as she reached behind him, reaching for the soap, beginning to lather up his body. He hissed as the soap hit the small cuts and bruises, "Damn it…"

She pressed a kiss to his shoulder, "Talk to me, El. Let it out. You need to let it out. Keeping it bottled inside will only make it worse…"

One of his hands wrapped around her hip, holding her tightly to him, "I don't know how…"

"Yes, you do. It's just me. You never have to hide in front of me. You know that."

Her voice was soft, caring, loving, and made him feel safer than he had before. Again, another shudder passed through him, and his knees buckled slightly, "I felt it. I felt the rage. The need to take his life. When I saw you…what he'd done to you. When he touched you…kissed you…tied you up, I…wanted to break him. I wanted to break his neck. Wanted to make him suffer."

Her hands massaged his arms, her hands slipping against his soapy muscular arms, "Because you wanted to protect me."

He bent his head, pressing his nose into her neck, "He was watching…waiting…and those cops…those pathetic-"

"All part of the brotherhood." She said with a sigh, "Seems that it ran deeper than we ever could have imagined."

He shook his head, lifting it slowly to look at her, "My Father…he was one of them. He made a vow…chose to follow them. Turn his back on what was right."

"Elliot, there is still so much we don't know. I know you're angry. I know you're hurting. But…your Father-"

"If he killed Jack…if he did it…I need to know." His breath caught in his throat, 'I just…I need to know Liv. And I know to know why. God, I need to know…but if he did it for Mom. If he did it for me. I can't fault him…because I would have done it too. I was ready to do it. And it was only you and Noah that pulled me back."

She saw the pain etched across his face, his eyes squeezing shut and she knew he was envisioning pulling the trigger, "Elliot…"

"I'd do it whether it was Frank…or anyone else. If it meant saving you. Saving our kids…I'd do it. And I'd never think twice." He paused and looked up at her again, his eyes fluttering under the warm spray of the water, "So what does that make me?"

Lifting her hand, she smoothed the lines on his face, "It makes you a man who loves his family. That's what it makes you."

Despite the ache in his bones, the overwhelming exhaustion, suddenly he just needed…her.

And somehow, she knew it too and it seemed she felt the same. He turned them, this time pressing her back against the tiles, angling her head against his own. He nuzzled closer, breathing her in, "Olivia…"

She sighed, reaching between them, her hand finding his cock, gently, she caressed him, bringing him back to life with her touch. "I'm here and I love you."

He groaned, leaning into her touch, "Liv…"

Her free hand pulled him closer, her fingers digging into the hard plains of his ass, "You've always been afraid to be him…afraid of what it would mean. But you are your own man. You both are. But you both protected each other. You both made your own choices. You can still be his son, still have questions, and still be a good man. My good man. The best man I've ever known."

He hummed low in his throat, thrusting his hips forward as she stroked him, "Olivia…you are my world. There is no life without you. And I…I saw red. I've never felt that before…I've never been so scared."

"I know." He pressed his fingers into the back of her neck and she breathed him in, feeling him pull her closer, "Baby, I know."

His arm wrapped around her waist, lifting her left leg up and around his hip, "Olivia…"

Rolling her hips, she sought out his touch, his body, the physical need and connection that only he could fulfill. Pressing his body closer he slid his hand between them, touching her, caressing her, making her body melt into his, "I would do the same for you…you know I would."

He growled and turned her head up, capturing her lips with his. "No one can break us. No one."

She nodded slowly, pressing her heel into his ass, pulling him closer, "No one."

Tilting her head back against the tile, he breathed her in, needing her, needing their strength to put him back together. Threading her fingers through her damp hair, he thrust his hips forward, the tip of him sliding between her folds, making her shudder. He sighed into her mouth, "I will never let you go, do you understand? Never, ever let you go."

Pushing her hips down, he inched inside of her and she whimpered softly, "And I won't let you go either. I never would have let him get to you. I never would have let him turn you into something you aren't. There is a different Elliot…a big difference between the choices your Father made in the Brotherhood and who you are."

He growled and thrust deeper, lifting her other leg, wrapping them both around his hips, "Is there?"

He was tense, his body bruised and beaten from the fight with Frank, but she knew he needed her and wouldn't let the pain show. And because of that, neither would she. Holding his face in her hands, she bent her head, wanting to look him in the eye, knowing he would trust her most with the look in her eyes, "There is Elliot. There is."

He pressed her lower back into the wall, his large hands gripping her hips as he moved in and out of her, "Olivia…"

"You're a good man. The best man. My man."

He sighed, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead into her shoulder, "I-"

She clung to him, tracing the water droplets down his back, "I've got you. I've always got you. We're here, you and I are here. And I'm so grateful that I can call you mine."

"Forever." He mumbled, "Tell me it's forever…"

She cried out as he pressed deeper, filling her, making love to her, igniting the pleasure and love between them that only they could understand, "You know it is. You know it's forever."

He slipped slightly but reached for her left hand, kissing just above her rings and then pressing his lips into the cuts on her wrists from the ropes, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry baby."

"Shhhh…" Lowering her leg she pressed up on her toes, never losing the connection between them, "Elliot…stop apologizing."

He moaned loudly, feeling her tighten around him in this new position. She pressed him back slightly, and he stumbled looking up at her, trying to read her expression. She walked him back into the shower and lowered him to the lip of the shower, he fell with a huff and stared up at her, watching the water drip down over the curves of her body. She reached for him again, touching his face with just the gentle tips of her fingers, "Olivia…"

He slid to the edge of the tub and she lifted her leg, sitting down on top of him, "None of this is your fault."

He gripped her hips, lifting her again as she adjusted her position, the tip of him pressing up into her, "But I-"

"No." She pressed her hands against either side of his face, "No, Elliot this isn't your fault. This is life. And it's messy…and terrifying and…" She sighed, leaning back, rocking against him, "Oh God…"

He hummed low in his throat, pressing his lip against the curve of her neck, feeling her pulse jump beneath her skin, "Liv…"

"It's life. And people make choices. Good and bad." She panted as she rode him slowly yet forcefully, his hands guiding her, "And people get caught in their web…collateral damage. We got caught in his…just as your Father got caught in Jack's."

His fingers curled around her hip, holding her tight against him, "I need answers. I need…"

"But you may never get them." She mumbled, lifting his head, "So I need to know if this…us…this life is enough to keep you here. If you can let it go and be here…right here with me."

He ran his fingers up her spine, rocking her back and forth, "I'm here."

She shook her head, kissing him hard, "But can I keep you here? Will you search for those answers that you may never have? Let him take you…make you drown in it? Will you let him your past take you from me?"

He hissed, holding lifting her up and pulling her back down again, "Olivia…no."

She shook her head, pressing her fingers into the back of his neck, "Please, please tell me that no matter what happens…no matter what comes from this…that you'll stay with me. That you'll accept what we know and what we don't know…"

She rolled her hips against his and he gasped, "I love you."

"I love you." She whispered, tears burning in her eyes, "I love the man you are. The man you've always been. And that is all that matters…" She pressed her hand against his chest, "All that matters is here, now, you, me…our children. Our family. Our life."

He pressed his forehead against hers, "I hear you. I hear you."

He thrust up, and her head fell back, the water cascading down her chest as she sighed his name, "Elliot…"

Latching his lips onto her neck again, he sucked hard, "I hear you. I do."

She whimpered softly, gripping the back of his neck, rolling her body against his, "Please…"

He pressed the flat of his palm against her back, holding her to him, "I hear you and I'm here. I'm right here baby."

She felt it building, the tension and need for release between them. Lifting her head, she looked down at him, taking his hand and placing it between their bodies, their hands clasped together, fists pressed against each other's chests, "We're going to be okay. You and I, our family, we're going to be okay."

He grumbled a response at first, opened his eyes, and looked right at her, "We will always be okay."

She sighed his name once more, leaning forward to kiss him, eyes wide open as they moved together under the water. He thrust up again, once, twice, three times before she fell over the edge, her body convulsing around him, pulling him deeper. He grunted, his hand on her back, curling, the tips of his fingers pressing into her spine, "Olivia…"

She felt the rush of warmth, his release, the way his body jumped and clung to her, "Shhh…"

Running his hand up her back, he ran his fingers through her hair, "God, Liv…"

She sighed and kissed the side of his face, "I know."

They both shivered as the water began to cool, "I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Not yet…"

She nodded slowly, easing herself off of him though his fingers still held her close, "Me either…"

He sat there watching her as she moved under the water, cleaning herself up before turning back to him. She blinked as the water dripped from the showerhead. Holding her hand out, she whispered, "Follow me."

Without hesitating, he pushed himself up off the edge of the tub and climbed out of the shower with her. Once again, he felt drained, and exhausted and didn't even flinch when she began to dry him off, wrapping the towel around his waist before she did the same for herself. Slipping her hand into his, she walked him back out into the dimly lit living room. She positioned him by the couch before walking to the laundry room to get a basket of clothes that had been left there since before they left, all clean but left behind.

Finding clothes for both of them, she helped him into his and pulled on her own before grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch and reaching for him once more. Together, they walked to the small backyard and Elliot snapped out of his daze long enough to start a small fire in the fire pit. Then, he settled in beside her on the outdoor couch as she wrapped the blanket around the both of them. His strong arms quickly wrapped around her and she settled against his chest.

They were quiet for a few minutes, listening to the crackling of the fire and the gentle rise and fall of each other's chests with each breath they took. Elliot was holding her hand, his fingers inching towards her wrists one more. He sighed softly, but she heard the frustration there and knew what was coming next, "El-"

He shook his head and untangled himself from her embrace, "I'll be right back."

She knew better than to argue, knew he felt the need to take care of her. Turning both of her arms in, she looked at her wrists marked and bruised by the ropes that Frank and Pete had tied her up with. As a Detective herself, she often wondered how she would feel to be put in that kind of situation. And as terrifying as it had been, all that had mattered was making sure her children were safe. Making sure that she could stop Elliot from pulling the trigger.

But looking now, taking it in, she let herself feel that shock, the pain, and fear that she had felt not just for them, but for herself. She remembered the feel of his hands on her, his lips on her,s and she shuddered. A single tear slipped down her cheek and fell against her wrist, "Oh, Liv…"

She cursed under her breath, she had wanted to be so strong for him but right now, she didn't feel that strong. "I just...I saw him with the kids and I didn't know what else to do."

Kneeling in front of her with the first aid kit, he placed it beside her, "I know. I never should have left…"

She shook her head, 'Elliot, it wouldn't have mattered. If it was today...or another day he was going to find a way in. He was always going to find a way…"

Lifting her arms, he kissed each of her wrists, "You swear that he...that he didn't do more than-"

"No." She shook her head and leaned into his touch, "Nothing happened. I promise."

He sighed and turned her wrists up, "Enough happened…"

She watched as he carefully laid the ointment down over the cuts and rope burns, his large hands were so delicate against her raw skin. For the second time that day, he wrapped her wrists up, "Elliot…"

He leaned up on his knees and kissed her, "Enough happened Liv…too much."

She sighed and reached for him, pulling him back down with her. He wrapped his arms around her again, settling her wrists in his lap as they fell into another comfortable silence. He adjusted his position, pressing his lips against the crown of her head, whispering words of comfort and love to her as they both tried to process everything that had happened.

A moment later, they heard the door open to the left, "Mom? Dad?"

They turned to see Noah standing there, Ember at his side, "Noah, is everyone okay?"

Noah nodded slowly and Ember walked slowly down the back steps, "Ember needed to go out…"

Elliot stood up and walked toward them, helping Ember down the last few steps. Noah walked over to his Mom and sat down on the ground in front of her. He rested his head against her knee, something he hadn't done since he was a small child. She smiled and lifted her hand, running her fingers through his brown curls, "You okay babe?"

Noah nodded slowly and yawned, "Yeah...I'm okay."

She sighed and whispered, "It's okay to say you're not...that was a lot. Too much for anyone to live through, especially a teenage boy."

Noah tilted his head to look at her, "You see that kind of stuff every day."

She nodded slowly, "You're right. But it doesn't usually involve my kids and my husband…."

Noah sighed and turned his head away from her again, "Yeah…"

Elliot brought Ember over to them. Taking a pillow off the back of the couch, he placed it beside Noah and let Ember curl up beside him. Sitting down beside his wife again, he pulled her back into his arms. Noah put his hand down on Ember's back and ran his fingers through her fur, "Brooklyn didn't want to leave…"

"What?"

Looking up at his parents he shrugged, "Brooklyn...she heard your voice." He looked right at his Dad, "She wanted to see you...I had to drag her out. Force her through the window with Uncle Fin."

Elliot let out a shaky breath, images of his five-year-old daughter trying to rush out to him. What would Frank have done? Would he have stooped that low to hurt the kids? His whole body tensed and Olivia had to press her hands down into his lap, "Noah...you got her out. That...that was good. But you still shouldn't have-"

"Maybe not." Noah said with a shrug, "But...I just couldn't leave you both out there with him. I didn't think...I just ran with Ember. I had to know that you were okay. Had to do something to help."

Elliot frowned and looked down at their dog, sleeping quietly by their feet, "It was dangerous Noah…"

"I know." He whispered, "But I won't say I'm sorry. I won't apologize for protecting my parents just like you've always protected me."

"Well do me a favor…" Olivia whispered, "Don't ever do that again."

Noah laughed and put his head back on her lap, "Okay…"

Olivia sighed and rested her head on Elliot's shoulder, "You might be growing up babe, but you're always going to be my little boy."

Noah swallowed hard and turned his head to look at his Dad, "He...said things about me, didn't he?"

Elliot shook his head, "It doesn't matter what he said, Noah. Frank Donnelley doesn't matter. You are my son and I am proud of you. Always. But...I agree with your mom. Don't ever do anything like that again...no matter what."

Noah smiled and closed his eyes, "Been seven years...since we all met. Did you know that?"

Olivia smiled down at him, "Seven years in July...yeah."

Noah yawned again, "It's been...a ride, don't you think?"

Elliot laughed, "You could say that." He paused for a moment, "Any regrets kid?"

Noah shook his head and moved to lay down next to Ember, whose paw lifted and pressed into his arm, "Not one Dad. Not one."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her husband's middle and sighed, "Despite today...we're right where we belong. Right where we always belonged."

And for tonight...that was enough.


Two weeks later, they'd all tried to come to terms with everything that had happened. There was to be a trial, and Elliot and Olivia would need to testify. They agreed but only if their son was spared, only needing to give a written statement of his own. But it wasn't just the crimes against them that Frank faced. Murders, multiple murders, and allegations against his name and it was clear he would be going to jail for a long time.

One afternoon, Elliot was in his room looking for his watch. He'd dropped it earlier when trying to wrangle the girls apart during an argument. Later on, he was going to be getting another tattoo, Brooklyn's name, in fact, to be etched under her brothers. And it seemed, it bothered his youngest child even though he tried to assure her that someday he would get hers too when she was old enough to write her full name. After the appointment, they were going to Noah's school. Even though he'd missed most of the end of the year, he was being allowed to do his own performance in the showcase.

Bending down to look under the dresser, he found a box he'd stuffed under there when they moved in together. A box of his Father's things...something his Mom had given him but he didn't care to look through most of it at the time. Now, curiosity got the best of him. Pulling it from under the bed, he rifled through it again, finding pictures, memorabilia from work, things he'd seen from time to time growing up.

But at the bottom, there was a crumpled piece of paper.

Curiosity pulled at him and he reached for it, lifting it out of the box and unfolding it. Despite the age of the paper, he recognized his Father's handwriting. Before he could begin to read it though, Brooklyn came into the room wailing and holding her arm, "Daddy! Charlie hit me!"

Elliot turned towards his daughter, "What?"

She ran to him, holding out her arm which indeed showed a red mark, "She hit me!"

Sighing he bent his head, kissing the mark, "I'm sorry baby, are you okay?"

"She is in our room making a mess!" Her lip trembled, "Make her stop!"

Olivia poked her head into the room, a laundry basket on her hip, "What's going on?"

Elliot sighed and rubbed Brooklyn's back, "I think Charlie is feeling a little left out…she wants me to get her name tattooed today too."

Olivia smiled softly, "Oh."

Brooklyn sniffled, "She took out all the crayons and all the paper and she's scribbling over everything. Mommy, make her stop."

Olivia sighed and walked towards her daughter, she placed the laundry basket on the bed and bent to kiss her head, "Okay. I'm on it."

Elliot placed the paper on the dresser and reached for his daughter, "Come here you, let's go downstairs and play a game and you'll forget all about this."

Brooklyn took her Dad's hand, "Can we play tea party?"

Elliot looked at his wife who gave him a little laugh, knowing he could never say no to her, "If you say so B…"

Olivia squeezed his arm as she passed and then sighed, turning to walk down the hall toward her daughter's room. Poking her head around the corner, she saw quite the mess that her almost three-year-old daughter had made. She cringed slightly but when she looked closer, her heart broke for her youngest child. Charlotte was lying on the floor, a mess of papers in front of her, a big fat crayon in her hand, desperately trying to write her name on a piece of paper like her sister had.

Her brown curls were in her face, and every so often she blew a frustrated breath, trying to get it out of her eyes. Her tongue was pressed between her teeth, nose scrunched up, big tears in her eyes as she tried to concentrate, "C….h…."

Olivia tiptoed into the room and sat down on the floor, scooting towards the little girl, "Charlotte…"

Charlie looked over at her Mom, her lip wobbling, "I have a long name, Momma."

Olivia smiled and leaned closer to her, "You do…so does Brooklyn."

Charlie sniffled softly, her voice dropping low, "I want my name on Daddy's arm too."

"Well, he will get it on his arm babe. Just…not today."

Charlotte, usually the stronger of her two girls, sat up, mouth hung open, and let out a painful sob, "No!"

"Oh, honey…" Scooping up her daughter, Charlie wrapped her herself around her Mother who began to rock her back and forth, "Sweetie…take a deep breath."

Charlie nuzzled closer, clinging to her in a way she only did when she was very, very sad, "Daddy doesn't love me!"

"Charlie…" Leaning her daughter back, she brushed the hair out of her face, especially the strands stuck to her cheeks from her tears, "Sweetheart, your Daddy loves you more than anything in this world."

Charlie shook her head, "Not like he loves Brooklyn!"

"Okay, alright." She rubbed her back gently, "See, Daddy had Noah write his own name when he got his tattoo. And then he decided to do the same with Brooklyn. I don't think he thought this would upset you, if he did, he never would have done it."

Charlie hiccuped softly, "If I write my name…" But the word write came out funny because of her trouble with r's, and Olivia smiled, "Will he do it?"

"If it means that much to you, I bet he would." Olivia leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her little nose, "There is one thing about your Dad I know to be true, he never, ever wants you or your sister to be upset. Noah either. That would break his heart."

Charlie hiccuped again, "Will you help me?"

"I can help you, of course, I can help you." She squeezed her close, "Let's give it a shot, okay?"

Charlie nodded slowly and climbed off her Mother's lap, sitting beside her. Olivia reached for a new piece of paper and a crayon. Slowly, she write Charlotte's name on the paper and then held it out for her daughter, "Okay, now let's see if you can copy that."

Charlie took the crayon and took a deep breath. Carefully, she started the C and then the h, made a wobbly, and then started to get frustrated again, "Mommy! Why does it have to be Charlotte?"

Olivia looked at her, "You want it to say, Charlie?"

Charlie nodded quickly, "Shorta!"

Olivia laughed and ran her fingers through her curls, "Okay…so let's try this." This time she reached for a yellow crayon and wrote the name Charlie on the paper. "Try tracing over it."

Charlie picked up another crayon, took a deep breath, pressed her tongue between her teeth started to trace the letters on the paper. Olivia held her breath, hoping it would work to soothe her daughter. Though it took a while, she made it all the way through the e and looked over at her Mother excitedly, "I did it!"

Olivia squeezed her, "You did it baby! Want to try again?" Charlie nodded again and Olivia write her name in yellow again and then watched Charlie trace it once more. "Good job Charlie!"

Charlie took the crayon again, "I do it!"

This time Olivia watched her make the letters on her own, still wobbly, still a bit messy and chaotic. And yet…it was so Charlie. She smiled and kissed her cheek, "Be right back baby. Keep practicing."

Slipping out of the room, Olivia walked down the hallway, down the stairs, and into the living room. She bit down on her lip when she saw her large husband, shoved into a tiny chair at the girl's play table. In his hand he held a teacup, pinky out listening to his daughter. Beside him, Ember sat at the table, a hat perched on her head, not fussing one bit. The last few weeks had been so exhausting, so stressful, and yet, here, today with her daughters and her husband, she felt so damn lucky.

"Mommy! Want some tea?" Brooklyn asked, a big smile on her face.

Elliot turned to look at his wife, cheeks flushed, "Geez…"

Olivia laughed and shook her head, "Maybe in a little bit hon, think I can borrow Dad for a minute?"

Brooklyn nodded pretending to sip her tea, "He can be excused." Elliot went to stand up but she pointed her finger at him, "But come right back, mister! You need to finish all your tea!"

Elliot nodded slowly, "Got it B." He grumbled as Olivia laughed when the seat stuck to his ass and he had to pry it off of him before walking over to his wife, "I'm glad you think this is funny.

She smiled and slid her hand up her chest, "Haven't I told you before…seeing you be the best Father to our babies makes me want you more than ever?"

He sighed and shook his head, "So you say…"

Olivia wrapped both arms around his neck and smiled, "I say it because it's true. And while you've made Brooklyn's day…I'm wondering if you can do the same for your other daughter too."

Elliot frowned and placed his hands on her hips, "She's really upset, huh?"

"Devastated actually." Her lower lip pressed between her teeth, "She thinks you don't love her enough to get her name on your arm."

Elliot's heart cracked in two, "Oh no…I didn't mean for it to become something that upset her. I just…liked the idea of having their handwriting like Noah's. But if it's going to upset her…"

"Well…" She shrugged, "She's currently upstairs, furiously writing Charlie as best she can. And it's…wild and messy and a little crazy but then again…doesn't that fit our baby girl perfectly?"

The corner of his lips turned into a smile, "You think I should get it tattooed as is."

Olivia nodded slowly, "I mean it's your body…and it's permanent. You get to make the final choice. But…I was wondering what you thought about it."

"I think…it's a great idea." He squeezed her hip, "Can I see it?"

She nodded and called out to Brooklyn, "B, stay down here with Ember, okay? Daddy and I will be right back!"

Elliot took his wife's hand and they both walked upstairs. As they poked their heads into the girl's room, there was Charlie still writing her name on every piece of paper she could find. "Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!"

"Oh my God…" Elliot laughed and leaned into the doorframe, "She is one determined little girl…"

Olivia laughed and looked over at him, "She is…we should have known when she came into the world before we were ready, she'd always do it her way."

Elliot sighed and leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers, "She's like her Mom. Strong, fierce, independent. And I love her just the way she is."

Olivia smiled softly and pressed her hand into his chest, "El…"

He gave her a wink and turned to his youngest, "Hey munchkin. Whatcha doin?"

Charlie whipped around, her curls bouncing, her eyes wide, sparkling with excitement, "I did it! Daddy, I did it!"

Walking over to her, Elliot bent down and picked up one of the pieces of paper. Sure, the letters were a bit wonky, and unless you knew what you were looking at, you probably wouldn't know what it was, but quite frankly to him, it was perfect. He wanted this memory on his arm. He wanted to remember his little girl like this, wild, free, determined and so passionate about life.

"Yes, you did!" He leaned into her, "Which one do you think I should get on my arm?"

Her eyes went wide and she gasped in amazement, "Just like B?"

Elliot leaned in, kissing the tip of her nose, "Just like B…"

Charlie whipped around, looking for her favorite, and when she decided she handed it to him, "This one!"

Elliot looked down at it and smiled, "Alright then." He scooped her up and stood up, "I'll do it under one condition."

Charlie pouted, turning her head to the side, "What?"

"You never, ever question if I love you again. Okay?" Charlie's face flushed and he smiled, "I love you Charlotte Bernadette Stabler. And I will always love you. With or without the tattoo, okay?"

Charlie launched herself at her Dad, squeezing him tight, "I love you, Daddy."

He sighed happily, looking over her shoulder to look at his wife, "I love you too baby. I love you too."


An hour later, the four of them sat in the tattoo parlor. Elliot was laid out on the table as the artist etched both girls' names on his arm. Brooklyn was hiding behind her Mother, a bit afraid of the needle, but Charlie's eyes were wide in amazement, "Wow…"

Elliot turned to look at her and smiled, "Cool, huh?"

"I want one!" Charlie said bouncing on her Mother's knee, "I want one! I want one!"

Olivia sighed and shot her husband a look, "I should have known that would be her response."

Elliot chuckled and reached for her hand as the man took a break, "Not until you're 18 kiddo. And even then…I'm not so sure about that."

"I want one!" Charlie said again, ignoring him, "I'll get Daddy on my arm!"

Olivia bent her head and snorted, "Oh dear God…"

Elliot grimaced slightly, envisioning his daughter with the word Daddy tattooed on any part of her body, "What have I done?"

"I'll tell you what kiddo…we'll think of something else. And since that's a million years away…maybe you'll forget by then." Olivia said with a wink toward her husband.

"Oh! Sparkles!" Charlie hopped down from her Mother's lap, proving she was easily distracted and Elliot couldn't help but laugh.

Brooklyn peered over her Mother's arm again as the man went back to work, "You okay B?"

Brooklyn grimaced, "Does it hurt Daddy?"

Elliot shook his head and reached for her little hand, "Tickles a bit. But it's worth it…so I can keep you and Charlie with me always."

Brooklyn leaned into her Mother's side, "Okay…"

Olivia smiled and kissed the side of her face, "Thank you for being such a good sister and sharing today with Charlie."

Brooklyn shrugged, "I don't mind." She looked at her sister and shrugged, "Even though she's annoying…I love her."

Elliot laughed, "Sisters are supposed to annoy each other babe. I'm proud of you."

Brooklyn leaned over and kissed her Father's cheek, "Thanks Daddy, I love you." She grimaced again when she got a closer look at the needle, "But I'm never getting Daddy tattooed on my arm."

With that, she bounced off and ran towards her sister looking at the different pictures of tattoos on the wall. Olivia laughed and leaned toward her husband, "At least you don't have to worry about tattoos with that one."

Elliot laughed and looked over at the girls, "They couldn't be more different if they tried. It's crazy."

Olivia smiled, "I know. But I can't imagine them any other way."

"Me either." He said with a shrug, "They're perfect."

Leaning closer, Olivia grimaced like her daughter had, "It really doesn't hurt?"

"Get my name tattooed on your ass and find out." He teased, she shot him a look and he laughed, "Just kidding."

Titling her head to the side, she smiled looking at Noah's name, Brooklyn's, and now Charlie's too, "Looks good."

He reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers, "Hey…" She turned her head to look at him, "You good?"

She smiled, knowing he was trying to check-in. Threading her fingers through his, she lifted his hand and pressed her lips to his knuckles, "I'm good babe…I'm good. You?"

He thought back to the paper he'd found, still unread now stuffed in his pocket, "I'm getting there…"

"Alright, you're done." The man beside him said, "You know the drill."

Elliot sat up slowly to look at it in the mirror, "Well would you look at that…"

Olivia smiled and pressed her chin against his shoulder, "Girls, come here."

The two girls, whipped around and ran towards their Father excitedly, "Is it done?"

Elliot turned his arm towards them, "Can't touch it yet, but yeah, what do you think?"

"Wow…" Charlie said, mouth wide open, "That's my name!"

Brooklyn pointed at the name in the middle, "And that's mine!"

Elliot beamed at them, "Now I got my girls with me, wherever I go. Noah too."

Brooklyn smiled, "How come you don't have Mommy's name?"

Elliot smiled and pulled his shirt up, showing them the numbers on his chest, "This one is for Mommy. It's her badge number. So she protects me."

Brooklyn smiled up at her Mother, "Mommy always protects us."

"That's right." Elliot said scooping her up and then Charlie making them both laugh, "I have the three best girls in all the world."

"Four!" Charlie yelled, "Emba too!"

"Ember too…" Elliot said with a laugh, then looked over at his wife, "Maybe I should get her on here too…"

Olivia smiled at him, "She was your first girl…"

Elliot took a deep breath, "I'll save it for another day. Today is about these two." He tickled their sides and they both giggled, "I love you both."

"We love you too Daddy." Brooklyn said hugging him tightly.

Olivia took her phone out and smiled at him, "Everyone look at me. We need a picture of this!"

Elliot sat back down on the table, perched both girls on his knees, and turned his arm towards the camera, "Everyone say…Daddy is the coolest!"

Brooklyn and Charlie giggled again yelling, "Daddy is the coolest!"

Olivia laughed and snapped the picture, feeling her love grow for him even more, "He is indeed…"


Later that evening, Elliot stood outside the auditorium, waiting for Noah's performance. Olivia had taken the girls to the bathroom and he was waiting for them to get their seats. In his few moments alone, he took the paper from his pocket, wondering if now was the right time to read it. Would whatever this said make him feel worse? Or would it give him the answers he'd so desperately been searching for?

Taking a deep breath, he opened the piece of paper and began to skim the words on the page. Certain lines stuck out to him the most, making his heart race faster and faster.

I never should have joined the Brotherhood.

I tried to talk to Jack, get him to change his mind.

I want to support my brothers and sisters but not like this. Not with murder.

Jack threatened Bernie and Elliot.

We argued.

Jack told me to watch my back.

Jack's dead.

When it came down to it…I couldn't pull the trigger. I couldn't do it. But if he had done something to Bernie or my son…I would have done it. But I didn't pull the trigger…

Taking a deep breath, he realized he had tears in his eyes. "El?"

He took another breath, and looked up at his wife, "Hey. Sorry. Ready?"

She was clutching both girls' hands as they wiggled around her, "What is it?"

He shook his head and reached out, pulling her close, "Later. Tonight's about Noah." She gave him a worried look and he smiled, "I'm good. I promise. Come on…I don't want to miss it."

Knowing he'd tell her when the time was right, she smiled as he picked up Charlie and carried her into the auditorium. They found their seats that Bernie had saved for them and sat down just as the curtain was opening. The girls sat between them to keep them occupied and in one place. And when Noah's performance started, the five of them sat up straight, ready to watch.

As he moved across the stage, confident, happy, proud, and excited, Elliot felt so proud watching him. Fuck Frank Donnelly for saying a damn word about his son. Fuck anyone who had an opinion on this. If dance made his son happy, if it brought him joy and made him feel strong and proud, then so be it. He'd make sure anyone and everyone knew just how damn proud he was of him. As the performance ended, Elliot was on his feet in seconds, clapping and hollering the loudest.

Olivia looked at Noah, whose eyes found his Dad first, and tears welled in her eyes. Just like he had at the Father-Son football game, he shouted, "That's my boy!"

She heard the pride in his voice, the love and adoration he felt for his son. Blood or not, Noah was his and always had been, always would be. "That's your boy…"

Elliot looked back at her and smiled, leaning over the girls, she met him halfway and kissed him softly. Look how far they'd come…


Later that night, long after the kids were all asleep, Olivia found her husband in the backyard, a small fire burning on the patio. Ember sat at his side, healing well, watching Elliot, taking care of him tonight. Walking out into the backyard, Olivia held out a glass of wine for him which he took gratefully and felt her settle in beside him, her own glass perched in her hand.

"Hey…"

He looked over at her and smiled, "They still out?"

Olivia nodded, "You should see the papers all over Charlie's bed. She won't stop writing her name now."

Elliot laughed and leaned back in his seat, "Sounds about right."

Settling into her spot, she watched her husband. He stared at the fire, clearly deep in thought, rolling his wine glass between his large hands. She placed the glass down on the table beside her and tucked her feet under his thigh for warmth. He smiled, reached out, and squeezed her calf as he took a sip of his drink. "I'm cold."

He smirked, "It's June…but your feet are always icicles it seems."

"Good thing I have a husband who always runs hot." He laughed again, "My own personal furnace."

"Least I'm good for something." He said with a playful eye roll.

Leaning forward, she wrapped her arm through his, "You're good for a lot of things babe, a hell of a lot of things." He cleared his throat and then looked over at her, "You gonna tell me what happened earlier?"

Taking a breath, he sat forward and reached into his pocket, "I found this today…"

She frowned and took the old paper from him, "What is it?" He just shrugged and she slowly unfolded it, beginning to read the words, "Oh my God…" She looked up at her husband quickly, "He didn't do it."

Elliot nodded slowly and took the paper, "He didn't do it."

Olivia gasped as she watched him crumple it up and throw it into the fire, "Elliot…why did you do that? You could have shown it to-"

"It wouldn't matter." He turned to look at her, placing his glass down on the ground, "Frank will always think he knows the truth. I understand his anger…I do. But all that matters to me is that I know the truth. And my Mom…I showed her earlier."

Reaching for him, she turned his face towards him, "How do you feel?"

He sighed and leaned into her, feeling her hands rub his back gently, "Relieved…"

Kissing the side of his face she smiled, "I'm glad…I know it's been weighing heavy on you. Maybe now you can let go…"

He chewed his lip softly, "I still have my…issues with him. Questions I may never have answers to. Resentment…things that he did to hurt me. But being in this situation we've been in with Frank…I can understand him in a different way I think. He didn't pull the trigger…"

She kissed the corner of his lips and whispered, "Neither did you…"

He turned to look at her, "But we both would have…to protect the people we love most. And I can't fault him for that."

She squeezed his arm gently, "He did love you…he just didn't know how to show it the way you show our kids. But he did."

"I know that now." He whispered, "So I can let go…at least let go of some of it. And I can know how I want to continue to raise our kids. So they never have to question how much I love them. No matter what."

She smiled and felt him move to wrap her in his arms, "You are the best Father, babe. And I'm so grateful for how you love all three of them." She smiled and kissed his jaw gently as he leaned them back, "How you love all of us."

He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling a weight lifting off his shoulders, "We're okay."

She smiled and felt him relax, felt him let go and it was exactly what he needed, "We're okay babe. We're all okay."