Down for the Count, but not Out
Grif: (heard in distance) Sim- Where'd he go? Don't kill me, I'm too good looking to die!
Blues
Caboose: Man... He is really kicking their asses.
Tucker: How come I never get the fucking sniper rifle?
Cunningham: Cheer up, Tucker, I don't have one either.
Caboose: (lowers the rifle) I'm really glad Tex is on our team and not theirs.
Jonathan: This sure would make a lot easier on all of us...
Caboose: You think switching Tex for Church was a good trade?
Cunningham: It definitely seems like the two idiots killing Church is starting to work out for us.
Caboose: Ya know, ya think so? You know, I was gonna say something but, uh, well you know, uh... nuh…
Tucker: Did Tex get in the base?
Caboose: (raises the rifle and watches Tex enter the base) Yeah.
The blue flag reappears in Blue base
Male Game Voice: Blue Team, flag returned.
Tucker: What the...? Who said that?
Cunningham: The hell? A game voice?
Church: (clears throat) Sorry, that was me. I, uh, I guess I had something stuck in my throat. Your flag is back, by the way.
Caboose: Hey, it's Church!
Church: Yeah, it's me. Hey, Caboose.
Caboose: (peppy) Hey, Church, what're you up to?
Jonathan: Yeah Church, what're you up to?
Church: (laughs) ah-huh-huh, I'm not really here to make small-talk, okay? How'd you guys manage to get your flag back?
Tucker: Wh-What? Oh, th-that flag? We-.
Cunningham: (interrupts) We actually got this new guy that's actually more competent
Tucker: Y-yeah...
Church: (skeptical) Really...? And who's this new guy?
Tucker: Zeb-
Cunningham: -Diah.
Tucker and Cunningham looks at each other, then looks at Church again.
Tucker and Cunningham: Zebidiah.
Church: Zebi… Diah ?
Tucker: Yeah...
Cunningham: Yup...
Church: (sigh) Tucker, Cunningham... I know Tex is here, you cant fool me. Hey wait a second were is Tex?
Tucker: I'm not really sure, he said he was gonna go to the store, something about uh, elbow grease.
Cunningham: (punches Tucker's arm) Elbow grease? Really?
Church: Oh great. This is so typical! What was the one thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?
Caboose: (clueless) That Sidewinder is cold..!?
Church: (grunts) What was the OTHER one thing I told you?
Jonathan: That Freelancers can beat people with they're own skulls?
Church: (growls) No! The Other Other thing I told you guys!
Barrus: Not to let him get involved?
Church: Right. And what did you do?
Cunningham: …We let him get involved.
Church: And not just a little involved. How involved?
Caboose: Very, very involved.
Tucker: Absolutely involved...
Red Base
Sarge: (emerging from the left) Freeze.
Hanby: (emerging from the back) Aight ya little shite hole, don't move!
Lopez emerges from the right, trapping Tex in.
Sarge: Drop your weapon.
Tex: (drops the gun) Hey, buddies.
Sarge: What.
Tex: (faces Hanby) You seem familiar, though you really better hope the first one knocks me out.
Hanby: Bet on it...
Fong: (a door nearby) I heard Something, hold on got a get my crowbar...
Tex: Wait a minute... That voice, Th-.
Tex was interrupted by Hanby hitting Tex with his right arm with a clank and thud could be heard, conveniently knocking Tex out.
Hanby: Hah! Too easy...
Wine: (Emerging from the door) Awww man... I missed it.., goddammit...
Hanby: Looks like we got an elite Freelancer! How lucky we are.
To the other reds.
Grif: Ow, what the... My freakin' head. Jesus.
Patterson helps Grif get up, with a big problem due to him being heavier than the armor that he's wearing
Patterson: Ah, Damn... You good?
Grif: Yeah, I-I'm alright.
Simmons: (stands up from tending to Donut) He's hurt, Patterson, Grif. He'll make it, but we need to get him some help fast.
Grif: Yeah, yeah, hold on one second. What happened here? W- First Donut's head exploded, and then you fainted, and then some black thing showed up and started-
Simmons: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. I did not faint, something knocked me out.
Patterson: Yeah no, I heard a girl screamed and a thud immediately, We know that was you
Grif: Haha! Knew it. Man, keep lying to yourself. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Simmons: Man, just go find Sarge, we need to get Donut outta here.
Grif: Yeah, sure. Oh, and uh, I'm fine by the way. Thanks for asking. (runs down the ramp)
Simmons: Whatever, no one likes you anyway.
Blues
Caboose: Yep, he's definitely captured... Or dead... Captured or dead. … (inhales sharply as he has an epiphany) Or captured AND dead!
Church: (sarcastic) Oh, well that's just PERFECT!
Jonathan: Oh, really?
Church: NO!
Tucker: What!? What is your problem!? Why do you even care if he's captured? I thought you hated that guy anyway for stealing your girlfriend.
Church: I never said I hated Tex. I just said that she was the reason why we never got married.
Caboose: She?
Jonathan: Who?
Scotty: What?
Red Base
Simmons: Sarge, we need to get Donut air-lifted outta here.
Sarge: Could you put that in a memo and entitle it "Shit I already know!" Get on the horn with Command! (turns to Tex) Well, look who's up. Rise 'n' shine, buttercup.
Hanby: Good morning, ya wanking asshole.
Tex is standing, sparks flying from the right shoulder, jerking it back. There's a brief sound like a distorted voice.
Tex: (now sounding female) Oh great... You broke my voice filter. You cock biting fucktards!
Grif: Ah-ha! I knew it! Only a chick could give me a headache this big!
Wine: Shut up Hore-fuckers.
Tex: …What's the matter? You never seen a girl before? How long have you guys been out here?
Hanby: For an approximately... 4 years...
Fong: Oh Yeah! A new record!
What do you think of the new cover for the story?
