Roomier Than it Looks
Cunningham runs out of the teleported with tar covering his armor, with smoke protruding atop of his helmet.
Cunningham: Ah fuck... Shit.
Tucker right in front of him chuckled.
Tucker: Ha, doesn't seem funny now, isn't it.
Cunningham: Shut up...
Church then appears right in front of them.
Church: Hey guys.
The two caught of guard yelped and raised they're guns
Church: No wait hold on-
They both pull the trigger and fires, the bullet phasing from Church's body and hitting each other's head.
Tucker: (pain) Ah, son of a Bitch!
Cunningham: (grunts) Ah shit!
Church facepalms at the two.
Church: God, dammit...
Caboose, Jonathan and Barrus was atop of the base, Scotty holding a sniper rifle was hiding atop the cliff were Church's body is.
Caboose: Tucker, Cunningham, are you two okay?
Tucker: Yeah, we're fine.
Tucker, Cunningham and Church runs atop of a nearby hill.
Tucker: Okay, come on you three.
Caboose: Does it hurt?
Tucker: No.
Jonathan: Does it really hurt?
Cunningham: No! Hurry up would ya?!
Barrus: Alright, but we just wanna make sure.
Church: Just go!
Caboose: Okayyy…
The three, runs towards the portal at the same time.
Church: Does it hurt for absolutely real?
Tucker: Oh yeah, big time.
Cunningham: It's just like a bee sting... hitting everywhere.
The trio turns towards the second teleported, emerging the other three, covered in tar smoke coming from atop of they're heads.
Caboose: Owwwwchieees, (turns towards to Tucker) you lied to me...
Barrus: My goochie stings... oof...
Jonathan standing there, screams like a crow, in a serious pain.
Red Base
Sarge looking at a sniper rifle, and sees bunch of black armored individuals
Sarge: That can't be right... Officer Hanby's information is always correct. Unless he's trolling, but we would never troll in serious situations! Ah, dammit. Lopez, c'mere. Do you see something out there?
Lopez looks through a sniper rifle, then turns to Sarge and lowers his head. To Simmons, Grif and Patterson, the two arguing while the crimson one was listening.
Simmons: There's no L in it, it's pronounced both.
Grif: That's what I'm saying. Bolth.
Simmons: Both.
Grif: You sound like such an ass the way you say it.
Sarge: Grif! Quit your yammering and get your keister up here. Need some help. Got more of them Special Ops like fellas headed toward the base.
Grif: As in... more than one? Uh, maybe we should bolth go, sir.
Simmons: BOTH.
Simmons yelled exasperatedly.
Patterson: You do know he's just annoying you right?
Grif: Seriously, man, like an ass.
Simmons now even more frustrated.
Sarge: Well, well. Another brilliant idea from the think tank. Why don't you three come up? And let Wine-
Wne: (background) What?
Sarge: Either that, or we could just put her on the honor system - have her guard herself.
Grif: Good point, sir.
Sarge: YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT IT IS! Now get your ass up here. We got just enough time for me to spraypaint the bull's-eye on your back... Ah, by bull's-eye I of course mean camouflage. Now move it, cupcake.
Grif: Yeah... (sighs) I'll be right up.
Simmons: Where's Fong and Hanby?
Patterson: They're jump starting the Warthog/Puma.
To Fong and Hanby;
Fong was sitting on the driver seat of the warthog holding what sort of look like a stick with a button on top, while Terrorizer was under the front of the warthog.
Hanby: Ok, Hold on... *clang* alright, okay. Jumpstart it.
The engine then revels up but quickly shuts down, as Hanby sighs.
Hanby then notices a rectangle shape object with a blinging red light,
Hanby: What the?
Hanby tries to inspect it...
Hanby: Wait... is that a C12-.
*CLICK*
Fong presses the button on the detonator he's holding.
Hanby: Ah for Fock Sake-.
Fong: JUST A PRANK!
Blue Team
A faint boom was heard. Church holding a sniper rifle flinched a little, right beside Fourzero who changed places.
Church: Did you hear that?
Scotty: Hear what?
Church: The- ah-, never mind... (pushing comms) Hey, Tucker, Cunningham, Barrus. Come in, man. You guys there? This is Church. It's working. The orange one is coming out of the base. I repeat, the orange one is coming out of the base.
To the 5 group hiding behind a rock, listening to the radio.
Tucker: Roger that.
Cunningham: We're clear... I think.
Barrus: Were ready.
Caboose: Oh, oh oh oh, Tucker, Cunningham, Barrus! Is that.. Is that Church?
Jonathan: Is it?
Church: Okay, now just keep moving around outside of the base, and draw their attention.
Caboose: speaking over Church, drowning him out) Tell him, that I.. that We said.. for me to say hi..?
Jonathan: Yeh Yeh Yeh Yeh-.
Cunningham: Would you two Shut the fuck up already?!… Jesus Christ, man.
Tucker: Hol-Hold on, what? Sorry man, couldn't hear you, Caboose and Delirious was talking to me. You guys Shut up man, I'm on the radio.
To Church and Scotty:
Church: I said, just keep movin-
Tucker: (over radio) I'm not yelling, I'm just telling you to let me finish talking to Church. …No, I'll tell him you said "hi" later. No, you can't talk to him. How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?
Barrus: You need to take him out fir-.
Church: (severs the connection) Oh my god. I can't believe I actually died for this war.
Scotty: Hey man, at least it couldn't be any worse.
Red Base
The four atop of the base were standing there, trying to target the "Spec-ops".
Grif: I don't see any- (sees Caboose and Jonathan running across the Gulch) Uh oh. Yep, there's Two, (Caboose and Jonathan stops next to a rock and stares at it) …Why are they just standing there?
Patterson: Shouldn't we shoot at them?
To the 5 blues;
Tucker, Basically, and Moo hiding behind a rock looks at Delirious and Caboose.
Tucker: What the Fuck are you two doing?
Cunningham: Behind the rock! Now.
Barrus: They can see you guys.
Caboose: They can't see me. I can't see them!
Jonathan: Wait, that's how it works?
Tucker: That's because you're facing the rock.
Caboose: (looks at the base) Oh. Right. (ducks behind the rock following Delirious)
Cunningham: Real smooth, dipshits.
Red Base
To Sarge standing atop the base
Sarge: They're definitely Special Ops. I ain't seen troop movements this coordinated since my days on Sidew- (Church enters Sarge's body) Wa-kika-herger!
Grif: Sir, are you okay?
Church as Sarge, Charge: Uh, who you talking to, Red? Me?
Grif: (sarcastically) No. I'm talking to Lopez. Because, you know, that's real rewarding.
Lopez takes a swing at Grif who steps back.
Grif: Hey, what'd I tell you about that?
Charge: Oh, uh I-I'm fine, that's... I'm just so mad about, these uh, god damn Blues out here. They got me so god damn mad, I could spit! (horks one up and spits on his visor)
Grif: …Um, sir? Did you just spit inside your own helmet?
Charge: Uh, yeah. I guess I did.
Grif: Permission to speak freely, sir?
Charge: Go ahead.
Grif: That's really fucking gross.
Cut to Caboose crouching down.
Caboose: Hey, Guys?
Tucker: What?
Cunningham: (sighs) What do you want Caboose?
Barrus: What's up man?
Jonathan: Yeah?
Caboose: I'm having a really good time... with... you... Guys.
Tucker: (annoyed) That's great, Caboose.
Barrus: (genuinely) Awww, you too Caboose.
Jonathan: No Problems,,, Caboose
Cunningham mumbles
Caboose: Yeah, it's like we're real soldiers.
Cunningham: More dimwit than normal...
Tucker: Would you please go hide behind another rock?
Cunningham: You know what? I'm done. Gonna get some beer, tired of this shit...
Cunningham leaves to the base.
Red Base
Charge runs down to where Tex, Wildcat and Simmons are, Wildcat seen in the background takin a long piss.
Charge: Hey, man. What's up, yo?
Simmons: Uh... hey...? What's going on out there, sir?
Charge: What's, uh.. why nothin'. Why would you ask if somethin's wrong?
Simmons: I think that's a perfectly normal question in a time of war, also I heard an explosion goin off.
Charge: You too?- I mean-Yeah, well, I don't know. You're starting to act kinda suspicious there ..other Red guy. So I'ma keep my eye on you.
Simmons: (turning around to face Tex) Sarge, I'm starting to think that-
Charge hits Simmons on the back of the head, knocking him down.
Simmons: Ow, geez, the back of my head!
Tex: What the hell are you doing!?
Charge: Tex! It's me, Church! I've come to rescue you.
Tex: You're kind of short to be Church.
Charge: What? Oh yeah, right. The armor.
Church leaves Sarge.
Sarge: Hurk! What in Sam Hell? Where the- Who spit on my visor?
Church: Tex, there's not much time to explain, so I'm just gonna give you the summary here, okay? I'm a spirit now, and I'm trapped in the physical world. I possessed this Red guy so that I could sneak in to the base and rescue you while the rest of our guys run around out in the middle of the canyon dressed in black armor that they got from going through the teleporter.
Tex: …Okay.
Church: What? That's it? Okay? You're not surprised by any of this?
Tex: No. It pretty much all makes sense.
Church: Not even the whole "Church is a ghost" thing? That didn't do anything for ya?
Tex: I can see right through you, it's pretty obvious...
Church: Okay, well, let me hop back in this guy, and we'll get outta he-
Wine: Whoooooh, that was a good long piss-
Sarge: (as Church re-enters him) Huuurk!
Wine: …What.
Wine looks at the unconscious kiss-ass, he then gets a closer look.
Wine: Hey there buddy? You go- (gets hit by Charge) Ugh rookie bitch.
to Caboose looking through the sniper rifle, with Tucker, Jonathan and Barrus near him, Cunningham left trying to get a stash of beer.
Tucker: What're you doing?
Caboose: One of the Reds has Tex. I'm going to shoot him, and kill him, and free Tex. Then Church will forgive me for killing him, and Basically can stop yelling at me, and-and we will be friends.
Tucker: Oh, come on. You don't actually believe any of that, do you?
Caboose: (taking aim on Sarge's head) Ohhh, we're gonna be best friends.
Jonathan: Oh oh, what about me? What but me?
Caboose: A great best friends group!
Jonathan: Ooooooh!
Tucker: Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Barrus: Can I join?
Red Base
Charge and Tex outside red base ready to run
Charge: Alright, I'll make one more distraction, then you run up to the teleporter and escape. Ready? One... Two... Three!
Caboose shoots Sarge in the head, and his body falls down.
Church: What the? Where did my body go? Oh, you've gotta be KIDDING me!
Jonathan: Oh oh…
Caboose: Tucker did it!
