Standard Disclaimer: I own nothing in regards to Harry Potter or Lucifer. All properties therein are those of their creators.
Note: Lot of hate for the open relationship with Harry and Maze. Not really sure why. Pretty much all of my stories are multi relationships. Plus, in this case, both Harry and Maze have spent a shit ton of time in Hell. Regular morals and relationship dynamics aren't gonna really apply to them.
Note: Ella doesn't appear in the show until season two. Seeing as she's one of my favorite characters, I'm not planning on waiting that long to introduce her. Just warning y'all ahead of time.
Note: Linda has the trust of the celestials here, so of course she has access to a lot more information to work with in her sessions. Along with being a lot closer to those involved….
Note: I've been dropping some hints about Harry and his current state for a bit now. I'm curious if any of you have figured it out yet…
Chapter Four - A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Years In Hell
Lucifer was having a grand old time walking down Hollywood Boulevard and counting out the stars on the walk of fame. He was perusing all the new additions since the last time he'd visited.
Harry, his assistant and bodyguard for the day, was holding back a little ways to give him some space. They were close yeah, but sometimes the boss liked to do his own thing and the wizard respected that. Things were going well until the big guy started to get into a confrontation with a street preaching asshole wielding a throat mounted microphone. Oh no, Lucifer hated liars and that guy was a con artist if ever Harry had seen one. Seemed time to mitigate the situation before it got out of hand.
Reaching his left hand behind his back to wrap around the grip of his beretta, Harry speed walked forward, placed his right hand on the 'preacher's' chest and pushed him back at least three feet before stopping. "You were getting a bit close to my employer there. Is there a problem?"
The man once more put his hand over his own microphone to hush his words and replied, "I don't have one. Look man I'm just trying to make a living here and your boss waltzes in and interrupts me with a bunch of philosophy questions and compares me to the dancing spiderman down the block. It aint right. Can you get him to leave? I don't need that asshole ruining my earnings today. Not when the crowd is already this gullible."
Frowning at the term of 'asshole' Harry promptly removed his hand from the gun and snapped his fingers where no one could see the spark that action created in the air. Analyzing the result and smirking with triumph, he pulled his hand off the other man and said, "Shouldn't be an issue. Have a nice day."
"Thanks." The relieved con artist turned back to his crowd and opened his mouth to renew his sermon about the end of days, only to find his microphone shoved into it. Then it retreated, and entered once more. With rising panic he looked down, and beheld an impossibility. His microphone had turned into an eleven inch dildo, and somehow his neck mount had transformed into a mechanized tumbler that jerked it back and forth into his face on repeat. Just looking down was giving his cheek a hefty bruise as a result.
With a terribly unmanly scream he ripped the offending appendage off his neck, much to the amusement of his gathered audience, and looked wildly around for a cause to this event. He found nothing.
At the back of the crowd Lucifer was cracking up along with everyone else, and adding a few new pictures to his phone's visual library. "I must say, Harry, your personal brand of justice is just fantastic."
"Well I learned from the best." The green eyed man smirked. "Now where to next?"
"Therapy, old boy. Doctor Linda scheduled us one after the other today. So I'll go, then you, and I believe Maze is this afternoon. I say but she's handling our identities very well. Most mortals go made when they find out about me."
"That's because you insist on showing them your face when they aren't ready for it. I just displayed a bit of magic. Much easier on the psyche."
"Well either way, let's be off. Who knows what else this day could hold for us."
Thirty minutes later saw Lucifer sat on the long pull-out couch facing a cross-legged Doctor Linda, an open notepad and pen in her hands. "Good morning, Lucifer. Last time we spoke you seemed worried that you've become a little too affected by humanity. That it was changing you in some way."
The devil gave a sarcastic smirk and leaned back on the soft leather. "No need to worry there, Doctor, I'm completely healed."
Linda raised an eyebrow, "Really?"
"Really. I'm bad to the bone, darling. Hell I could kick a puppy down the street if the opportunity presented itself. I'm all back to being my devilish self with no regard for others."
"So you didn't send Harry to kill the man that hurt Detective Decker?"
Lucifer's smirk turned into a scowl. "Maze did say he likes to talk after sex."
The blond nodded, "We actually get to a lot more of his issues there than in our actual sessions, but we're not talking about Harry. We're talking about you. Lucifer, you are ancient, but until recently you haven't allowed yourself to change, or to let anyone get close enough to you to create that change. Even when you were sleeping with Maze it was a purely physical act with no feelings involved. Now you have Harry, a man you've taken under your wing" Seeing her patient's flinch she added, "Your metaphorical wing. I've only been around you both when visiting Lux, but even there I can see you treat him as something akin to a little brother, and his protective instincts for you are equally strong. And then there is Detective Decker. By your own admission she intrigues you, draws you to her in a way you cannot ever remember feeling for another. These changes are scary, but they aren't something to suppress. They are a chance to grow, and become more than you were."
"But I happen to like who I was."
Linda looked upon Satan himself and gave a commiserating smile. "A lot of us feel that way, Lucifer. It is comfortable to stay what we are. But how do you know you won't like who you're becoming even more if you don't even try to find out who he'll be?"
A short time later it was Harry sitting on that couch, and he was a little more nervous than his boss. Linda felt this, and inquired, "Is something the matter, Harry?"
"No… not really."
She raised a brow and set her notepad aside. "Not really?"
The wizard sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He just felt… safe, with this woman. By merely being in her presence he knew he could say anything, admit to anything, and she would never judge him. It meant a great deal. So he knew he couldn't remain silent here. "I feel… strongly about you, Linda."
The blond blinked. She hadn't been expecting that. "How so?"
"I… want… more. With you. More than just the sex."
Now she was blushing. She'd known that what she had with Harry was different from what she had with Lucifer. It was more primal, emotional, and deep. Whereas the devil was purely physical. To be honest the differences were weighing on her quite a bit, which was why when Lucifer had offered his usual payment before this meeting she'd turned him down. The man had been surprisingly okay with it, zipping back up his pants instead writing her a check for her usual rates with a knowing smile on his face.
"That seemed hard for you to say."
"It was. With Maze, well, we built what we have over time. We had a lot of shared interests, and a very similar darkness inside us. With you… Linda I'm calm. I haven't felt calm in a long time. When I'm with you I can actually sleep. I trust you, I feel safe with you, and I know that means something. I want to experience more of it."
A deep heat was building in the therapist's chest as she heard these words. "I need you to speak plainly here, Harry."
"I want an actual relationship with you, Linda. You and Maze."
"But Lucifer, and my age-"
"If I stayed away from a woman because my boss got his hands on her first I'd not have Maze or most of the state at this point. As for your age, you do realize that you're not really that much older than me, right? Hell hid a lot of years behind this face. If it really bothers you though, I have potions that'll take a few years off and slow your aging if you really want them so we can match more closely, though I think you're perfect just the way you are. Lucifer even has contacts that can match your current life to the new face." He stood up, crossed the distance, and held her cheek up with his palm so she could look him in the eyes. "It's not easy for me to be open with anyone. You know that. But I'm doing it now. What do you say?"
Instead of answering verbally, the therapist shot up out of her seat, gripped both sides of the Brit's head, and pulled his mouth down to hers, bruising both of their lips with the force of the exchange. For a long time they simply stood there, holding each other and enjoying their closeness, but eventually the blond thought of a few more questions she needed to ask.
"So… we're dating now?"
"Yes." Harry nodded. "Are you okay with sharing me?"
"I like Maze, so yes. But you'll still be my patient right?"
He chuckled and the rumble this caused in his chest against Linda's cheek was just delightful. "I think we both know I still need a lot of work. Just think how many women would jump at the chance to openly tell their boyfriends all the things that are wrong with them."
"There's nothing wrong with you, Harry. You just need to let some things go. When we're here we'll work on it."
"Hm. I like working on things with you." He kissed her on the forehead. "You know, Lucifer and I are planning a performance this evening at Lux. Would you like to come?"
"Oh, imagine that. Me, dating a musician." Linda moulded herself closer to her man and started edging his body back toward the couch. "I'll definitely be there." She pushed him back onto the couch and quickly climbed onto his lap. "Now why don't you show my what those fiddler's fingers can do?"
That Night
Lux
Linda walked into the exuberant archway of Lux wearing a tight, red, strapless dress and a new body. In the end it hadn't been much of a choice. Who wouldn't say yes to gaining back the body of their twenties. It meant a lot that Harry liked who she'd been before though. She intended to make that very clear later tonight.
A quick stop at the bouncer, who took one look at her and raised the velvet rope, and she was inside, not for the first time marveling at the splendor of the club. It made sense that the devil would like his finery and dancing women put out for all the world to see. Hm, the piano was still empty. Good, she hadn't missed the set. She knew from experience that Harry performing was a rarity and if no one knew he was coming on then she could get the best spot to view the performance.
The blond was just looking for a vacant table when a slender arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her off the side where a private high table waited directly across from a particular open balcony where a vacant microphone was already waiting. When her abductor came to a stop Linda looked to her side and beheld Mazikeen decked out in a leather tube top and mini skirt.
The dark skinned woman smirked, "Our man will be doing his number soon, thought you'd like to watch it here with me."
Linda smiled fondly at the woman. After her session with Harry she'd made sure to talk about this new relationship dynamic with her during her own. Just to make sure she wouldn't be stepping on toes. The dark skinned woman had grown uncharacteristically serious and replied, "It's really not that hard to understand, Doc. But being human I can see how it would seem that way. Harry makes me happy. I make him happy. Letting you join us makes us both happy. There's no need to look further than that. You are welcome with us." After that they'd shared a great therapy session and Linda was feeling like she was actually making some progress in breaking down the other woman's emotional walls. She still didn't know who this 'Dobby' person was, or why Maze said to call him if she needed anything, but she would find out eventually. Apparently he was a friend of Harry's and Maze wanted to be there when she met him.
"I have to say, that potion did wonders for you."
Linda blushed at the praise. "I know. It feels so good to be young again. Why don't more people use this?"
"Because the recipe is known only in hell. It wouldn't do to have the option for eternal youth running amok in humanity's hands. They'd just ruin it."
"I'd like to say we'd be more responsible but history tells me otherwise. Do you know what Harry and Lucifer are performing?"
"I don't. But I do know it's only Harry singing."
"I thought it was a duet?"
"Well, its a duet of instruments. Harry with his fiddle, Lucifer his piano, but Harry said he wanted to sing alone this time and our boss being who he is, was right on board."
"That should be nice. Harry is quite talented is he not?"
"Yes he is. So these people better behave and listen cause if even one of them laughs at my man I'll have to slaughter them all, and then we'll have to pack up everything and leave. I like living here. Harry and I finally got the sex swing exactly where we want it."
Submerging the hope of someday experiencing that swing, Linda made to comment on her newfound appreciation for this world when the lights dimmed and Lucifer made his way to the piano. He sat, played a few low notes to get everyone's attention and spoke into the microphone. "Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. As you all know, I'm Lucifer. But tonight I'll not be serenading you with the gift of my voice. No, no, no. That privilege belongs to another, so please join me in welcoming once more to the stage, Harry Potter!"
The crowd cheered and all eyes shot to the balcony (that Linda and Maze now had the best view of) where the tall form of the dark haired Englishman now stood, his fiddle mounted on his shoulder and the microphone ready before his lips. "This one goes out to my lovely ladies. You know who you are." Then his bow began to slide over the strings for a few moments, building a tone of beautiful unease to the addition of Lucifer's sweet piano notes, before his classical baritone voice began to perform the lyrics.
(Credit to Voltaire here)
When the Devil is too busy
And death's a bit too much
They call on me by name, you see
For my special touch
To the gentlemen, I'm Miss Fortune
To the ladies, I'm Sir Prize
But call me by any name
Anyway, it's all the same
The music ceased for three tense seconds before it returned with the addition of Harry's steady foot stomping a staccato on the ground.
I'm the fly in your soup
I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the pea beneath your bed
I'm a bump on every head
I'm the peel on which you slip
I'm a pin in every hip
I'm the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe
Lucifer's piano picked up the tempo at once and Harry's bow streamed across the strings with upbeat energy.
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me (From his piano bench Lucifer tipped an imaginary hat)
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
Once more the beat became more casual.
While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
While there's pockets left to pick
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs
I'll be there, I'll be waiting round the corner
It's a game, I'm glad I'm in it
'Cause there's one born every minute
A scream of bow on string brought the chorus round once more and this time the high tempo stayed.
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily
I'm the fear that keeps you awake
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become
I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm a dagger in your back
An extra turn on the rack
I'm the quivering of your heart
A stabbing pain, a sudden start
And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
When the music was done and the crowd moved back to continue their usual pastime of grinding, drinking, and partying, Harry made his way back down to the floor, intent on finding his girlfriends for a couple glasses of whiskey. Except when he made it to the ground floor he came across the site of none other than Detective Decker, hiding in the shadow of a corner booth and watching his boss like a hawk as she scribbled in a little notebook. Well wasn't that fascinating. It seemed Ms. Decker had developed an infatuation with the Devil.
He quickly alerted Lucifer to that development and made his way to his wildly clapping girlfriends. It was a good night to be Harry Potter.
England
Hermione Granger was in a good mood. She'd just finished the last paper necessary to complete her University career. She quickly submitted it to her professor and then, for a moment, just stared at the newly blank screen of her computer and wondered what to do now. Her entire life had been about her education and now that was done. Oxford would send her a certificate of completion in the mail along with her official degrees within the next couple days along with an email copy just in case.
True, her life had once had another focus as well. Magic, fighting the dark forces, Harry… That last had seen the end of the first two. The same night he disappeared he sent her a letter detailing what he'd discovered about Sirius, Dumbledore, and the direction his life was taking. She understood why he left, and she understood as well the pleading message for herself to get out as well and the money embedded for her to use for university. He'd made a solid argument that she'd be more happy in the muggle world than despised as a second class citizen amongst wizards and he'd been absolutely right.
Since leaving Hogwarts to pursue a normal education path she'd made real friends, excelled before all of her professors, and found a true path in life as a crime scene investigator. With her usual study habits she'd gotten all of her certifications years ahead of the other applicants. But now… she didn't know what to do next. Applying for the Metropolitan Crime Lab seemed like the way to go, but who could be sure. Much like her lost friend, the need for wanderlust had begun to grow inside her, and her parents had been suggesting for months now that a vacation would do her good.
Ah well, those thoughts could wait. Perhaps a bit of tv could help settle her nerves. So thinking, the girl moved across her cramped dorm to her small futon and sat before her television. It rarely got any use during finals season, but it was a nice indulgence that she'd never have received at Hogwarts. Plus, she was a sucker for trashy entertainment networks.
Pulling up a fluffy comforter to her neck she curled her legs beneath her and clicked on the device with her remote before flipping to the appropriate channel and leaning back with a wide smile. It was something of a guilty pleasure, but she loved watching Access Hollywood, Celebrity Mansions, and following the lives of actors in LA.
She sat enraptured as large homes were displayed, actors were followed and interviewed, and finally, the nightclubs were put on the spot. Oh the nightclubs. They were beautiful, colorful, and full of sights unique to each individual location. As she watched, the host waved their cameraman to follow and they entered a new location named Lux.
To Hermione's surprise it appeared to be an upbeat piano club. The former witch had yet to see that combination before. The crowd was going wild, lights were flashing all over the place, and before her very eyes a man that looked like sex incarnate (not that she'd know considering she was still a virgin) walked up to a black baby-grand piano and proclaimed a sentence that nearly stopped her heart. "Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. As you all know, I'm Lucifer. But tonight I'll not be serenading you with the gift of my voice. No, no, no. That privilege belongs to another, so please join me in welcoming once more to the stage, Harry Potter!"
The remote fell from the bushy haired woman's hand and her body shot forward to latch her eyes closer to the screen. It couldn't be. The camera panned across the space to focus on a ledge above the crowd and her pupils nearly popped out of her head. It was him. He was older now, taller too, with longer hair and a bit of shadow around his jaw. His clothing was a combination of stylish and rogue that put her in mind of Sirius, and there was a new scar running from his right eyebrow to his cheek, but it was definitely Harry. Her beautiful Harry.
Hermione clutched her comforter to her chest and nearly moaned with delight as his sweet voice danced along the screen to the tune by Voltaire. She was almost as floored by the fact that he'd learned a musical instrument as she was that he was on her screen in the first place. For the next three minutes she sat enraptured by the performance before he finished and left her sight once more. His exit blurred by the tears falling from her eyes.
When Harry had left she lost her best and only friend. Sure she'd gained more in the muggle world after the fact but it had never been the same. Her fellows at university formed a bond to help each other through the stresses of higher education, but Harry had stuck with her through her awkward preteen years and her bossy phase. Defended her from trolls, blood purists and bigoted teachers. He'd been there for her all the times she'd broken down in the Gryffindor tower because of missing her parents, all the while she'd been too self absorbed to realize what those episodes must have looked like to someone that had none to begin with. And even then with all of her vaunted and self-proclaimed intellect, she had not seen the hell his life was and the end it was leading to. No, he'd discovered all of that on his own.
She'd failed him. She knew that now. And it was even worse with the knowledge that he'd given her the money to attend the school of her dreams with his last communication. Her eyes turned to her computer, and her mind came to a single conclusion. Her work here in England was done, the degrees earned. Her parents had been nagging her to take a vacation for months now, and a perfect destination, with a perfect reason to go, had just presented itself. Thank the gods of magic her passport was still valid for the next two years.
She dialed her phone. "Hey mom. Yeah, look I finished my work for the year and I think you and dad were right. A trip would be nice for a few weeks. Do you still have that travel agent that booked your trip to Canada? Where did I want to go? I was thinking Los Angeles. Can your agent have me on the first available flight tomorrow?"
The Next Day
Kingsley Shacklebolt was not feeling good at the moment. For the last several months it had been a rotating watch of Order members on this roof keeping the Granger girl under magical surveillance in case Potter should contact her. Two decades of auror experience told him this was wrong on too many levels to count, but Voldemort was back, and Albus made it clear that without Harry he would be victorious this time. So while spying on an innocent college student was… distasteful, for the good of his people he'd made himself swallow the bile and get the job done.
Now as he watched from a neighboring building, the target of his assignment left her dorm building with a suitcase and a travel bag over her shoulder. Clearly someone planning on staying away from home for an extended period, and the year wasn't even all the way done yet. From what he'd heard of this girl such an action would impossible on principle alone. (He never would have conceived of someone finishing early).
He pulled a mirror out of his pocket and said, "Headmaster's Office." When the grey haired face of Albus Dumbledore, head of the Order of the Phoenix appeared he said, "The girl just took off and school isn't out yet. It's possible that contact was made."
"Excellent, Kingsley. Is the tracking spell still active?"
"Every week one of us has been reapplying it to her shoes. With distance limitations we should at least know where she lands before it wears off."
"Perfect, return to the Burrow."
Albus closed off his connection to his own mirror and rubbed a weary hand over his face. The Burrow. Even after all this time it still grated him that he had to use that place to host the meetings and operations for his Order. He supposed he should be grateful the Weasleys offered their home for his use. But after Grimmauld Place all other locations paled. After Harry had somehow claimed his inheritance the wards reset to him and all others were cast out, the secret of the home's location lost from their minds. It was one of the many reasons he'd tried to keep the boy from finding out what all Sirius (and his parents) had left him. He supposed he could have used Hogwarts, but he couldn't risk it with people like Alaster and Nymphadora in his number. Both of them would track on to the students in his halls with the Dark Mark within seconds and try to oust or kill them in seconds. It was already hard enough keeping Minerva in the dark about them all. Those people just couldn't see the bigger picture like he could, that those children deserved the chance to change their ways for the greater good. Expulsion or time in Azkaban would not be conducive to that in any way.
Why did young Harry have to run off? Things were going perfectly. The prophecy was in place, his will was nearly broken, and with Tom returned to full power and the boy who lived nowhere near trained enough to combat him, his death, and thus that of Riddle as well, was practically set in stone. Hell, the way his last Hogwarts year had been perhaps he'd have done them all a favor and just offed himself after another summer with his relatives. But then the boy had done a runner, and with near endless resources and the same crafty mind as both of his parents, it had been impossible to predict where he would turn up next.
That hadn't stopped them from trying though. And his people had reported more than once arriving at abandoned safe-houses that had clearly been vacated mere hours before they'd apparated in. Somehow Harry had known they were coming whenever they had managed to track him down. So Albus had moved the Order to another strategy, watching the boy's friends. It hadn't been a popular decision to watch the children, not by a long shot, and for the first time since its founding the old man had started to wonder if he'd be ousted from his position as the leader of the light. But in the end old loyalties had won out and the people had fallen in line. He wasn't fool enough to think he could get away with something like that again though. He needed to be more careful.
Picking up his mirror again he called the one man who knew the full scope of his plans. "Severus."
The mirror flashed and the hook-nosed visage of his potions master came into focus. "Yes, Dumbledore?"
"Miss Granger is going on a trip."
"Potter?"
"Perhaps."
"What do you need me to do?"
Albus groaned. He hated this. He really did. In any other time young Harry would have been as a grandson to him. He'd have walked the halls of Hogwarts with pride, strength, and eventually gone on to replace him as the leader of the light. But now, circumstances could not be changed. And Ms. Granger, oh her future had been so clear and bright. Sure she'd never have a position of authority at Hogwarts or the ministry of magic, but she could have gone on to marry a nice pure-blood boy and pass on her marvelous brains to the next generation. It had been a true shame when she'd left his vaunted halls, but when both of her parents had agreed, as had Minerva when lawyers were brought up, his hands had been tied. Now, both of them were likely to fall in the coming conflict.
"The tracking spell will hopefully last long enough to give us a city. When that happens I'll be dispatching a few members of the Order to search for the lad. Perhaps Minerva, Nymphadora, and Alaster (That would remove his three greatest critics in one fell swoop, and if he was lucky at least one of them would die on the mission.). I'll need you to leak the location to Voldemort so he can do the same."
Snape was uncharacteristically quiet for a moment before asking, "If the two groups meet, its likely spells will start flying. A body count, wizard and civilian, is sure to start rising. Are you certain this is the path you wish to take?"
The aged wizard's eyes closed with grief. Those poor, poor civilians. Innocent sacrifices to the greater good. Thank the gods he was willing to make this call because he could think of no one else with the will to do so. "I do not wish for any of this, Severus. You know that. But it must be done. Carry out the order."
The greasy haired man nodded and the mirror grew dull once more, showing the connection had ended.
Setting the glass surface down on his desk Albus turned toward the perch at his window where his loyal Phoenix had once sat looking proudly down upon him. Fawkes had left him the same night Harry had disappeared and never returned. He kept hoping that his noble deeds would draw him back, but it had so far proven fruitless.
"Oh Fawkes, I know what I must do is distasteful, but it truly is all for the greater good."
Los Angeles
"Hm," Maze purred into the chest of her lover as the two lay curled together in their shared loft in Lucifer's building. It was only a couple of floors down from his own. Why two floors? It was the only way to keep the constant sounds of their boss getting dirty from throwing off their own. "You know I miss torturing the damned quite a bit, but afternoon sex takes the edge right off."
Harry leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. "Well I'm glad I could be of use." His arms tightened around her shoulders. "I missed this. Me, you, a view of a vast city before us as we fuck. Granted it isn't a city of the damned here but the feeling is the same." When Maze mumbled her agreement he decided to voice something that had been bothering him for a while now. "Maze, why do you keep hiding your face when we're alone?" The woman froze in his arms, even her breath stilled. "Even when we were… going at it, your face was entirely human. You didn't do that in Hell." He cupped her cheek to make her look at him, "You don't need to hide from me."
Before his eyes her features changed and half of her face grew into its demonic visage. She gave a nervous smile and Harry just had to kiss her again. "Feel better?"
"A bit." she blew a raspberry into the air and said, "I still can't get used to the emotions I feel with you. It's so… human. Down below it didn't matter if I was all demonic. I was still the hottest thing in Hell and I knew it. Here… well I stand out, but I want to be more beautiful for you, all the time."
"You don't need to be anything more than what you are, love. And what you are is fantastic."
The two locked lips for a tender few moments before Maze asked, "What all do you have planned for this evening?"
"Not a whole lot. Lucifer is busy with his new case with the detective, they've been at it all week, Linda has her clients, and I know you're working the bar. I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to-" he cut off as his cell phone started ringing from the end table.
Groaning at the need to disentangle himself he rolled over, grabbed the device, and pressed it to his ear. "Yeah? Lucifer? You need me to what? Oh, okay then." He moved his phone to look at the clock, "Yeah I can be there by then. Want me to bring Maze? See you there." He hung up.
"What did Lucifer want?" The dark skinned woman inquired.
Harry smirked, and Maze nearly shuddered at what that look did to her. "He wants us to fill a trunk and meet him this evening. Apparently his killer is a paparazzo and his boss is protecting him. He wants to pit the two against each other. You gotta love when two assholes get what they deserve. You ready for some fun?"
Maze crawled up the bed like a cat and licked up his neck. "Do we have time for another round first?"
Later That Night
Harry and Maze had forgone the use of his motorcycle for the evenings festivities, and made use of her BMW instead. Only a slight thunking sound from the trunk breaking the stillness of the night as they sat together on the hood.
"Damn," Maze sighed as her man held her hand, "Even during a kidnapping you're romantic as hell."
Harry smiled as Lucifer's headlights came into view. "Only for you. And now Linda I guess." He hopped off the hood as the convertible parked across from them. "Come on, let's get this fucker out of the trunk before he pisses all over the carpeting."
So saying Harry popped the trunk and his girlfriend latched onto their captive's ankle and pulled him out as he closed it. Together they brought their burden over to their boss, and the weaselly looking man standing next to him. "Got Josh for you, just like you asked." They dropped their respective ankles and Maze removed the tape from his mouth.
"You crazy bitch, I'll-" the young paparazzi's voice was unceremoniously cut off as Harry slammed an elbow into his nose.
"Call my girl a bitch again. See what happens."
When Josh finally managed to stop crying and get back to his feet with a hand clutching his ruined nose, Lucifer started with introductions.
"Right all, who do we have here." He gestured to the human he'd brought, "Nick, a cameraman with a born again heart who wields a past of horrible actions. Several of them specifically against Detective Chloe Decker. I mean, following her around in her acting days and publishing photos of her at her father's funeral is something all can agree is bad form." He gestured to the other, "And Josh, the protege, who orchestrated horrible accidents and events to make sure he was first for the photos amongst all his wretched brood. Now, typically you'd suffer in hell under my aegis for your sins, but I'm up here so that's not as likely. Oh yeah you'll still probably burn, but I won't get the satisfaction of causing it. So here's what we're going to do," He gestured to Harry and Maze and each placed a pistol on the ground in front of the captives. "we're going to see who is really first."
"What?"
Lucifer groaned, "Amateurs. Look explaining really takes the fun out of this, but to make it easy, there are two guns here so whichever one of you shoots the other first gets to live. And to make it easier I'll bring this up, Nick you're one step away from turning Josh into the police, and Josh you set Nick up perfectly to take the fall for you when we both know you're planning to kill again. Discuss."
Harry spoke up, "You should know that we are all armed, so turning those on us will only end in both of your deaths instead of just one."
Nick shakily shook his head. "No, I won't do this. I-I'm a different man now. A better one."
"Typical." Josh grinned as he lunged for his own gun and leveled it at his boss. "Typical Nick, too scared to go for that big shot anymore. Face it man, you've lost your edge."
Nick was clearly floored by this turn of events. "Y-You really did it, didn't you Josh? You killed people."
"I just did what you taught me, do what it takes to be the first to the picture. You'd have done the same if you hadn't lost your touch and gone soft. All that talk about boundaries and restraint, none of that matters in this world. The only thing that does is being willing to do what's necessary to get the job done."
"Y-You don't want to do this, Josh. I know it. I treated you like a son. Taught you the job, set you up with a camera and wheels. I saved you."
"And you think that absolves you from being a piece of crap for the last thirty years? Face it, you're not a good person, none of us are!"
"You can't do this." Nick was pleading now, pleading for the younger man to see reason.
A cruel smile crossed Josh's face and his finger closed on the trigger. A hollow 'click' filled the empty street and as the paparazzo stared uncomprehendingly at his empty firearm Lucifer and Harry burst out laughing.
"Good show, Maze." The devil praised. "Even I didn't see that coming. When did you remove your bullets?"
She smirked, "On the drive."
"That was fucking hilarious!" Harry guffawed. "By the gods, did my humanity ever make me that dumb?"
"Not at all, darling, you got out of your situation." Maze stroked his cheek. "They won't though."
It took a couple seconds for the humans to figure out what had happened, but when they did, Josh lunged for the second pistol. He was too late however as Nick scooped it up on instinct and aimed it at his murderous student. "You were really gonna shoot me!"
Josh put his hands up and started backing away, but before the older man pull the trigger a new pair of headlights flashed and the sound of Chloe's voice rang out loud and clear, "Stop!" They all turned and there she was, warily stomping from her police cruiser with weapon drawn and thunder in her eyes. "Nick, you don't wanna do this. Not after you worked so hard to change."
"But I haven't." Tears were starting to build in the man's eyes as the detective made it up to the Hellish crowd. "How much could I have really changed if all I taught Josh was how to be exactly like I was at the start?"
Lucifer leaned toward the detective, "Chloe, you're really putting a buzzkill on this whole situation."
"Be quiet! Just be glad I figured out your little scheme here before anyone else at the precinct did. How did you even get him out of holding?"
"I asked politely. Works every time."
"Grr." She turned back to Nick. "It's not too late, Nick. I can forgive you for what you did to me, so please forgive yourself."
"I-I can't." His voice was near a whisper now. "If I don't stop him now then anyone else he kills later will be on me." He held the gun steady on Josh while looking the detective solidly in the eyes, "I'm sorry." He pulled the trigger…. and time slowed to a crawl.
With bored eyes Harry followed the twisting bullet moving centimeter by centimeter in the air and then looked to his boss who had his hands clasped together in the most sarcastic way possible. "Really. You prayed to him?"
"Seemed the best way to rectify this mess."
"Did it need rectifying?"
"It made the detective upset so yes. Yes it did."
Maze slapped both of them on the back of the head. "Not in front of the angel, boys."
They turned and true enough, there, across from the molasses contained bullet, stood Amenadiel with arms crossed and a frown on his features. In an instant Harry's knife was in his hand, but Lucifer placed a palm on his arm. "It's alright, Harry. He's just here to try and convince me to go back. It won't amount to anything."
"And if he attacks you?"
"Then he'll leave with a pair of broken wings. He'll never admit it but we both know I'm the stronger between us, and you and Maze are great backup. Stay here."
Thus it was that while Lucifer strutted forward, pocketed the bullet, slammed both of the paparazzi between the legs, and engaged his elder brother in conversation, Harry and Maze stood back.
"Think he's figured out why his little time stopping thing doesn't work on me?"
"Not at all. Angels are too dumb to think critically. It's why they almost lost the war, they're terrible strategists. Well, maybe Michael was good, but I've never met him to verify."
Watching the faces of the angels as they were, the two easily noted the moment when Lucifer told Amenadiel to suck it. His features twisted into the most hilarious scowl they'd ever seen. The dark skinned man moved to leave in a huff, but something stopped him. He turned around once more to address the only true Brit present.
"Harry…"
"The fuck you want, angel?"
Amenadiel cringed, "I wish to make amends somehow. To perform a penance for the inaction of my family. And to turn you from the path you walk. I do not yet know how, but I will find a way to save you. I just wanted you to know that."
Harry sneered at the statement, "I don't need saving now, Amenadiel. I needed it when I was a child. Starving, alone, in pain. I needed it when I was in school and over and over again my life was placed in danger. I needed it when I escaped that life and found myself hunted everywhere I went by more fuckers who wanted me dead. Face it, I was already saved, but it wasn't by you or yours. You came to the game too late."
A sadness that could have swallowed the world entered the angel's eyes and he said, "You are absolutely right. We failed you. You called for aid and it should have been given. But I promise here and now that even if heaven turns away once more, I will not fail you again." A blink later and he was gone, time restarted, and Nick and Josh fell to the ground clutching the space between their legs. Chloe meanwhile was shaking the gun in her grip as she stared at the new position of the devil.
"Y-Y-You were right next to me, just now. I know it!"
Lucifer grinned wide, "And yet now I'm over here. Strange isn't it."
"I-I need to get these two back to the station. I'll figure out what 'this' was later." She moved to cuff the downed men and Lucifer just had to ask, "Not going to arrest me too?"
"No." She started dragging Nick into the backseat of her cruiser. "Like it or not you got a confession for me, and I'm pretty sure you'd talk the captain into letting you off for this no matter what I did."
"Guilty as charged."
"I doubt you'll ever be. Now get out of here so I can start processing the scene."
The devil snapped a smart salute, "As you wish, Detective." He set off toward his car, and Harry and Maze did the same.
"What do you think Amenadiel was talking about earlier?" He asked as his girlfriend started the car.
"I'm not sure, but we should definitely keep our eyes open. I don't know Amenadiel well, but even my limited experience tells me he doesn't make promises lightly."
Los Angeles International Airport
Hermione was stepping out of baggage claim with the bleary eyes of jet lag squinting through the sunshine when a large african american man in a suit and chauffeurs hat caught her attention with a sign that held her name. She blinked some of the gunk form her eyes just to be sure, but yes, the sign clearly said Hermione Granger.
She stumbled over to him and he asked for identification. She provided it. "I didn't contact a car service."
"No, but it comes complementary with the hotel upgrade your travel agent put in place."
"Upgrade?"
"I was told to say it was your parents idea of an early congratulations gift for finishing university early."
"Oh." Hermione smiled fondly at the thought of her parents doing something so nice for her. "Well I'll need to call them later to thank them. If you don't mind me asking, what is your name, sir?"
He smiled back, "I don't mind at all. You can call me Amenadiel."
