Midna insisted on watching each movie to the last second. She drank in every moment, falling in love with the music and the visuals and the weight of the story itself. There were things she would have changed, to be sure, but she could honestly say these were the best movies she had ever seen.
And to think there were hundreds of thousands more movies!
"So, what was your favorite scene?" Zach asked. "Well, scenes plural. One for each movie?"
"Can I just say the whole movies? Eee hee!" Midna wiped her eyes, having teared up quite a few times from both the movies and memories of her loved ones, and tapped her chin. "Hard to say. I genuinely love all three movies. Thanks again for playing them for me."
Zach smiled. "You're welcome. It's nice to share this stuff with a fellow fan."
Midna nodded in agreement. They had more common interests than she thought, mostly because she had not known that Earth had the same stories as the Twilight Realm. Why was that so? Ah, who cares why. It gave them more things to talk about, so she left it at that. "For Fellowship, probably... wow, that's tough. I think I like the Shire scenes the best, especially the fireworks. Arwen and Aragorn's scenes would be a close second."
"Nice. I like pretty much all of Aragorn's scenes but personally, I love Moria the most. Gotta love that Balrog!"
"Huh, I would have thought after what you just went through, you'd be a little less fond of giant fire monsters."
Zach tilted his head in thought. "Huh, I guess that would make sense. But I'm honestly fine, the Balrog didn't bother me at all."
Midna was unsure if that was a good or bad sign. On the one hand, Zach may have been truly able to separate his trauma. If that was the case, why would he be triggered by random things that made him angry? On the other hand, Zach may be lying and was genuinely upset during that scene. However, he showed absolutely no signs of it and Midna did not see any dishonesty in his eye.
Perhaps this was related to his mentality; he did not blame Midna for the exploding cannon, so maybe he did not blame the Goron patriarch either since Fyrus was under the control of the Fused Shadow and King Dodongo was just a mindless beast. If so, that would mean he did blame the person who said such cruel things to him. But the underlying fact was that he did not seem traumatized at nearly dying and cutting his own eye open. That was not a good sign... then again, she had no compunctions either.
Midna shuddered, both from that thought and to get her to focus back on the conversation. "Well, that's a relief. For Two Towers... Hm, I think it was my least favorite of the three. Not that I think it was bad, of course."
"Right, I get that. My favorite scene is a tie between Gandalf fighting the Balrog and when Gandalf frees Theoden."
"I'm sensing a theme here," Midna said with a chuckle. "Mine would probably have to be... huh, nothing really comes to mind. Most of the really sad and serious stuff happens in that one. Oh! Arwen and Aragorn again. I love romance, it's so... well, romantic."
Zach nodded emphatically and said, "I agree, I like romance too. One of my favorite scenes in Return of the King is when they're finally reunited. My absolute favorite is when Elrond gives Anduril to Aragorn, which happens because of Arwen."
Midna grinned and nudged him playfully. "Look at you, liking romance and such. I hate to break the mold but my favorite scene is at the very end, when Samwise finally gets to go home and live his life in peace. It... it feels really relevant to me, you know?"
Zach rested a hand on her shoulder. "Yeah, I know. Can I ask a question?"
"Oh boy, you're asking questions now." Midna laughed but Zach did not, so she cleared her throat. "Sorry, go on."
"After what I told you earlier, that I—or rather, future I—am the main villain... why haven't you, like, done anything? Said something about it?"
Midna raised an eyebrow. "What's there to say or do?"
"It doesn't freak you out or anything?"
"I admit I'm concerned, but I've seen enough to judge your character by itself. You're a good person, and I haven't met your future self yet so I can't make assumptions."
"..." Zach lay on his back and threaded his fingers. "It's just... technically speaking, if I were to be the villain, I would have been the one to give Zant his power."
Midna pinched the bridge of her nose. "I see where this is going..."
"Which means what happened to your parents is because of me."
"Stop. Just stop right there." Midna sighed, placing her hand on his. "Don't take responsibility for it. You are right here, you did nothing to anyone, and there's no way you could have done anything to help them. It's okay to be scared about your future, but that isn't your future if you don't want it to be. As far as I'm concerned, you and this mysterious future you are two completely different people."
Zach frowned. "Midna, you can't just ignore the evidence."
"I'm not ignoring it," she said. "But you're under enough pressure. You don't need me nagging you every step of the way."
Zach opened his mouth to respond, but a knock at the door stopped him. Instead of carrying on the conversation, he opened the door and let in Sahasrahla. "Ah, I trust I am not interrupting?"
"No, honored elder," said Midna, bowing her head. "What can we do for you?"
"I wished to inform you both that Darbus of the Gorons has come to the village. He intends to host a ceremony in your honor, but first he wishes to thank you in person."
Zach grimaced behind Sahasrahla's back, but his voice showed none of it. "That'll be nice. Where is he?"
"Right outside." The elder chuckled. "Our houses are not built for Gorons of his stature."
Midna took extra care to ensure all the Fused Shadow pieces were safely tucked away. Once she helped Zach look presentable, she led him outside to the great Goron patiently sitting by the door. Midna had not had a chance to note his appearance when she left him up on the mountain. He was not as large as that big Goron that gave Zach so much trouble, but he still easily towered above Zach even while sitting. Midna also noticed the night sky; watching all three movies must have taken up most of the day. The cool night air was most pleasant on her skin.
The Goron—Darbus—remained seated as he and Sahasrahla exchanged greetings and introductions. When he saw Midna, his demeanor changed. He sat up with his legs crossed, his expression serious yet grateful. He bowed his head to her and extended his hand, which could easily fit Midna even in her true form. She grasped his index finger with both hands and gave it a firm shake. He then turned his hand palm-up and low enough for Midna to step on, which she did after a moment.
Darbus raised her up carefully until they were at eye level. He glanced to Sahasrahla, who nodded back. "Thank you, Princess Midna."
Midna grinned ear to ear. She hardly hesitated when she pressed her forehead against his just as she had done before. He gently set her back down on the ground and expressed gratitude to Zach as well.
"You're welcome but Midna did most of the work," said Zach. "She's the real hero, not me."
"Hey, give yourself some credit," she said. "You defeated King Dodongo."
"I can't ignore how I did it. Sorry, but that's not something worth celebrating."
No, but he wanted it to be. Midna could tell that much from him. As he and the two elders talked, Midna sighed. Was she doing the right thing? Being his friend, she meant. He was... not well.
Midna pondered what she knew of Zach: He was entitled, resentful, and petulant. He yearned for personal freedom, but he was also a good person.
The heart of the matter was not whether he is good or evil, but if his evil nature will overcome what good he has.
Midna thought back to the quote Zach said. Is it better to be born good, or overcome your evil nature? But what makes him evil, his desire for freedom and control? Midna had the same desires yet she did not feel condemned. What should she do? What can she do?
Midna stared up at Zach with wide eyes. He was still chatting with the elders, even smiling with them as they discussed something or other. The smile... something was wrong with that smile. It was too tight, too rehearsed. Too casual after such a serious discussion.
"Midna?"
"Huh?" Midna blinked up at Zach. "What'd you say?"
He gestured to Darbus and said, "He's going to send two Gorons with us when we head out tomorrow morning. They'll escort us to the next Twilight Wall and head back once we're through."
"We're leaving tomorrow morning?" she asked. "Sorry, I missed everything before."
There. A slight twitch in his nostril. Zach had said it himself; sooner or later he was going to show signs of irritation. He was getting frustrated at having to repeat himself, though he masked it well. "No worries. According to Sahasrahla, my eyelid should be healed up enough for us to head out in the morning. I'll just have to administer some eye drops every morning and night for a few days."
Midna wanted to retaliate to his irritation per her own nature, but what would that accomplish? It would lead to an argument and nothing would get done. So, she decided to let this one slide. "Ah, that will be great. I'm very glad your eye is going to be okay."
"Me too," he said. "In the meantime, they're setting up a firepit so we can sit and eat and party and such."
That did sound appealing. Midna looked down the street and found multiple Gorons hard at work digging the pit just in front of Eldin's spring. From the look of it, they were nearly finished. "Not going to lie, it would have been nice if they had been here earlier."
"Tell me about it," Zach grumbled as Midna led him to a set of chairs near the soon-to-be firepit. "At least a few are coming with us."
Midna hummed in agreement and seated herself and Zach together. "Hey, you know what I just realized? We haven't taken a picture! Didn't you want one every time we beat a big monster?"
"Oh yeah, let's do it!" Zach lifted his eye patch and set the camera up while Midna scooted her chair closer to his. "Ready?"
"Ready. Cheese!"
"And thus the third picture in Hyrule was taken." Zach checked the picture but grimaced. "Hm, not sure I'm going to look back fondly at this one."
Midna leaned over and inspected the picture as well. "I agree, but hey, we can take more pictures for the rest of the journey." A wave of determination washed over her. She reached over and grasped Zach's hand. "Hey, can you promise me something?"
"Huh? Um, sure. What is it?"
She took a deep breath. "Can you promise to be less hard on yourself? I know it must be difficult, but can you promise to try? I promise I won't judge you for making mistakes. Think of what you did right, not what you did wrong or could have done differently. Please promise me this."
"Uh..." Zach sighed, running a hand through his hair. "What if my mistake ends up hurting or killing someone?"
"Then you'll have to take responsibility for it," said Midna. "Just as I will if that happens to me. You're not alone in this. I don't know how far this journey will push us, but I know we'll be able to tackle anything as long as we can keep a relatively positive mindset."
"..." With a final deep breath, Zach extended his hand to her. "Okay... I promise."
Midna shook his hand once, twice, thrice. "Thank you."
The Gorons dusted their hands off and nodded proudly at their work. One of them walked over to Zach and swatted his shoulder, a big grin on the Goron's face.
Zach yelped and fell from his chair, earning a laugh from the Goron. "No, I'm fine," he said even though no one asked. "Love getting the shit scared outta me."
Midna helped Zach up, smiling with pity at him. "I think you made a friend."
"Yup. Midna, this is Gorko, Gorko meet Midna. He'll be escorting us with his friend Roko when we leave tomorrow."
The Goron looked indistinguishable from all the other Gorons, though Midna noticed a growth of rocks on his chin and none on the top of his head. Did Gorons have stone hair? In any case, he nodded at her and spoke to Zach, his voice like crushing gravel: "By the way, you don't have to give us back that hammer. Consider it a bonus for helping us out."
"Good, I wasn't going to anyway." Gorko laughed and walked away. Zach chuckled and turned to Midna. "By the way, I asked Darbus about those schematics. He's offering to send a whole group of Gorons to your realm once this is over, they'll help repair and upgrade your... uh, I forgot what exactly you called them, but the point is Darbus is willing to send his people to help your people."
Midna's jaw dropped. "That... that's amazing! He's really willing to do that for me?"
"Yeah, he said something about you and him having a 'kinship'."
Such good fortune! Granted, it was going to take a while but Midna knew that would be the case. These... these were good people. Kakariko Village and the people of the Gorons will be well-rewarded, Midna shall see to that personally. However, their generosity had come at a cost... "I'm sorry for what happened to you."
"We've been over this, I don't blame you for the cannon."
"I know, and I thank you, but the fact remains that you suffered the most from this." She smiled and rested her hand on his arm. "Once we get to the Twilight Realm, you'll be the guest of honor."
"That's a little much, don't you think?"
"Not at all! You'll be introduced to the royal court—including my mother and father—and you'll have your own luxurious room complete with servants and the finest clothes in the Twilight Realm."
"That... that does sound pretty nice... sorry..."
Midna gave him a questioning look. "Why are you sorry? If you're worried that you'll sound like an egotist, you're not. You're being treated as a hero deserves, by order of me! Eee hee!"
"Well, thank you."
"What about your home?"
"What about it?"
"Well, what will you do when you go home?"
Zach fidgeted in his seat. "I... haven't really thought of it. Probably go back to college."
"College?"
"Big fancy expensive school."
"Ah. What will you study?"
Zach shrugged, dragging a hand through his hair. "Not sure. Probably just general studies like before. Then I'll get some menial job and eke out an existence."
"That doesn't sound very ambitious," Midna said, pouting. "Won't you receive a hero's welcome?"
Zach's expression turned dark. "Heroes don't exist in my world. No one cares about doing good, they care about what's either safe or politically correct. You save a girl from choking, she sues you for sexual harassment because you had to do chest compressions. You donate money to a good cause, you get flak because you didn't donate to some other 'good cause'." He made a sound like clearing his throat. "Just impossible."
"Wow, no wonder you're so high-strung."
"The sad thing is I'm not even exaggerating. Those things actually happened. Granted, not to me personally, but still."
"Right." Midna patted his arm, humming softly to herself. "Well, you can be a hero here. And in my home. You don't need the approval of a bunch of random faces."
"No, but it'd be nice."
"Oh absolutely. Eee hee!" A cool breeze rolled through the village. Midna shivered, hugging herself. "You could tell the story of your adventure here."
"I'd never be able to make money off it. Copyright and all." He hummed and tapped his chin. "Could make a good hobby, though. But then again, writing fanfiction isn't exactly smiled upon—"
"Ah, who cares if it's smiled upon," Midna said, sputtering her lips. "Zach, you faced down giant monsters. You got blown up. Treat yourself to a creative hobby."
Zach snorted. "Sorry, you just reminded me of a TV show. A couple of characters sometimes do this thing where they spend lots of money pampering themselves one day a year. They start it by singing 'Treat yo' self' and then the year they do it."
"Finally, some good characters," Midna said with a laugh. She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands behind her head. They spent a good part of the day just watching Lord of the Rings—a very good part if Midna said so herself. She closed her eyes and listened to the world around her. Zach seemed content to do the same, judging from his relaxed breaths.
Midna still missed her home, her family. Her mother would be in the gardens right about now, lounging on a stone seat and placing flowers in her hair. Her father would be in the library researching some random subject that held his interest. Midna herself would be out with her friends, either playing a game or perusing the latest fashion.
Even if the three of them survived, Midna knew nothing would be the same. She knew she was a different person now, she... damn it, she cared about this world almost as much as she cared about her own. These were good people just doing what they can with what they have.
Speaking of these people, the village folk emerged from their various dwellings and joined the two. A large fire was lit, shading everything in a comforting orange-red glow. They all gathered around the fire, some in chairs, some seated on the ground. The children seemed distant, though it made sense they would be more rattled than the rest. They were just children, after all.
Renado stood before the fire and raised his arms. "Princess Midna, Zach, on behalf of Kakariko Village, we wish to express our sincere gratitude and respect! We wish you great fortune on your journey; May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce!"
Darbus joined Renado and spoke, his voice echoing around them like crashing boulders. "On behalf of the Gorons of Death Mountain, you are both Sworn Brothers to us! There's no big ceremony involved, just call when you have need of us! Ask what you will of us! Our hammers—our service—are yours!"
Midna grinned from ear to ear. She was not a man but the title sounded nice enough. It seemed to be held in high regard among the Gorons; it meant she had made a successful bond to a foreign power. Not bad for an exiled princess. "I am honored," she said, bowing her head.
I had to fight so hard not to react with violence. Sure, they could say all they wanted about how grateful they were. Until the chips were down, until I made a mistake. Then it was game over. Because of me!
I wanted to tear myself apart. Memories I worked so hard to bury came rushing back up. Petty little squabbles, random acts of injustice, all the pain through the years, all the repressed anger in my heart, all the hatred in my soul... I was never the person I wanted to be. I was never good enough, either by my standards or others. I was never enough.
I clenched the fist that Midna couldn't see. I was not mad at her, it was just my own failures that bothered me. Why did the speeches anger me so? I fucking deserved them, didn't I? But then, how could I when I was so stupid and useless?!
I was angry because I knew the truth, and the truth reflected poorly on me. I would rather bend or break the truth than admit I was wrong, because being wrong meant I was not enough. Again.
And that's okay. Being wrong is... okay. It hurts, but this is how I grow as a person—
Bullshit! Why should I spend so much time growing when no one else is?! Why should I put in the effort when everyone else should just get the fuck out of my way?!
I looked to the kids and froze. They all looked to be on the brink of tears, even Malo. Something ached in my heart. I felt an innate desire to reassure the kids and console them. Anju beat me to it when she wrapped a large blanket around them and pulled them close to her. They clung to her with desperate hands, their pale fists clutching the blanket for dear life.
Midna reached over and rested her hand on my arm. "I forget that they're in a situation just like us. They were taken from their homes, separated from their parents, attacked by monsters."
My nerves flared up again. Bubbles of animosity formed in the corners of my mind. "They'll get over it. A little childhood trauma builds character."
"I refuse to believe that," Midna said, though she did not raise her voice. "Trauma does not build character. Trauma is horrific and damaging, as you've shown quite clearly."
"Hey, that's not fair."
"No, it isn't. Trauma isn't fair, nice, or even consistent. But trauma does not define a person; how they handle it does. Anyone can be pushed to the ground and told to stay down. It takes character to refuse and to stand back up. That is what I believe."
"Some people can't stand back up, Midna. There are extenuating circumstances, you know."
"I'm not arguing against that. The road to recovery is different for everyone but it's still there. It's difficult and painful and soothing and ultimately rewarding. Some people can recover in good time and some will spend their whole lives trying to recover."
I had to fight very, very hard not to glare at Midna. Disagreeing with me? I'm fucking right, damn it! ... wasn't I? At any rate, I was tired of arguing.
"My point is that I sympathize with the children. I understand how they're feeling and I truly hope they recover from this in time. They'll need all the help they can get."
I looked over Midna's face. Reading expressions was never a skill I exceled at, so at the risk of appearing creepy, I took the time to really take in what I saw. Her pale skin reflected the light of the fire, illuminating her face in a warm orange glow. The game really did not do her justice; she is very beautiful in-person. Her nostrils flared slightly as she inhaled through her nose. Her lips tightened and loosened as she half-pouted. She seemed contemplative, probably thinking of her own family. She watched the fire, or perhaps the kids across the way, and it struck me how bright her eyes were.
What struck me more were the bags under her eyes.
A cold, slimy guilt washed over me. Midna was tired, probably mentally fatigued more than physically exhausted. And I played a part in that, whether I intended to or not. She was shouldering so much and I was giving her a hard time. AGAIN!
No! This was not the time! NOT AGAIN!
"I'm sorry," I said. "I... I'm sorry for arguing with you."
"That was an argument?" Midna smiled. Not a grin, not a half-smirk. Just a smile. That was the moment when... well, it was the moment certain other things started to click for me. "I thought we were just having a conversation."
I shrugged and leaned back in my chair. "I disagreed with you."
"And?"
"And isn't disagreement bad?"
"Says who?" Midna nudged me with her shoulder. "Agreeing all the time sounds like a nice concept but disagreeing can be nice too. You and I disagreed about our favorite moments from the movies, after all."
I blinked. "Huh. I hadn't thought of that."
"Eee hee! I'm sorry too, for what I said about your trauma."
"Thank you. I... I really appreciate your thoughts. It's refreshing after being in my world all my life. Everyone is so cynical and jaded. It feels like no one believes in hope and justice and love anymore."
For some reason, Midna scooted her chair over and gently moved my arm so it lay draped over her shoulders. She leaned against me, rested her head against my chest, and said, "I appreciate your thoughts too. I'm sorry for whatever your world is going through, but have faith. Trust in good people as we trust in each other."
I grimaced. "I have to disagree there. It's hard to trust good people when they do bad things."
"Hard, but not impossible," she said. "I'm not saying we ignore what they did, I just think it doesn't take away from their good point. Maybe them doing something bad means they need to be removed from their position, but their good is still there. I don't believe we should punish the goodness made by bad people just because it comes from bad people."
"I agree," I said, smiling at Midna. I realized then that while we did disagree on a lot of things, we also agreed on a lot of things, and that I felt tremendous respect for Midna. She was someone I wanted to be around, and she seemed to want to be around me too. I was starting to like the person I was when I was with her. And I think she did too.
The rest of the night was pleasant but uneventful. Once the kids were sufficiently tired, they were sent to bed. Midna and I stayed up and talked with Renado and the other elders. There wasn't much to discuss besides the general state of Death Mountain and the repairs for both it and Kakariko. The mountain was stable and everything had suffered minimal damage, which set me on edge.
It was too convenient, too clean. Something was wrong but I couldn't articulate it. Maybe it was my resentment at the fact that I seemed to suffer the most throughout my time in Kakariko. I was blinded by a shadow insect, my body was smashed to hell and back by Dangoro, and I got blown up. It took all of that for Midna to finally treat me with some respect, but did I deserve her respect?
I don't think so but damn did I crave it. Respect, admiration, the ability to say something and other people just accept it with no argument... Authority. That was what I craved most in my foolish moments. And that always served to remind me of just how unsuitable to heroism I was.
But I promised Midna I was going to be easier on myself. I wanted to cut myself slack, I really did, but that was just laziness. Why the fuck should I want to relax after doing the bare minimum? I had no reason, no reason, to be so stressed out! So why was I?!
Midna seemed to pick up on my jump in stress and commented as much.
By then we had retired to our room. Midna popped out of the darkness and sprawled over the bed, her eyes never leaving mine. "Talk to me," she said.
"I just... another random line of thought that upset me."
She nodded with a sympathetic pout. "Zach, I want to respect your privacy but I think you should talk about it."
"I... I agree." I tossed away most of my clothes barring pants and shirt. Halfway to the floor, I stopped and looked at Midna. "Real quick thought; are we sleeping together again?"
Midna's cheeks turned a slight shade of red. Apparently, she felt as awkward about it as I did. "I... well, if you're okay with it. I kinda liked it."
"Are we in a romance?" I asked, fully aware of my bluntness. I needed to know, for my own peace of mind if nothing else. "Is this a romance we're having?"
Midna's voice reached new heights as she squeaked and sputtered. Her whole face was red now and she avoided looking me in the eye. "I don't know? I... it's a little soon to be thinking of things like that, don't you think?"
I frowned and stood up straight. "No, I don't. Social interactions are difficult for me. What's obvious to most people isn't as obvious to me. And flirting and relationships and love and all that just scares the hell out of me. You could just be a flirt by nature, it could be genuine interest in me, it could be a mild flare of hormones, could be all of the above, could be none."
"Your mind moves incredibly fast, you know that?"
"I'm aware." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to be rude. I just want to know. It makes things easier for me, less complicated."
"How so?"
I shrugged and sat at the bed's edge. "If we're not having a romance, I can just keep acting like normal. I don't have to worry about romantic gestures and reinterpreting things you say as flirtatious or suggestive. But if we are, I get to romance you and that's a win right there."
"Eee hee! You're pretty flirty yourself when you want to be."
"I can?"
"What... yes? That wasn't flirting just now?"
I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow. "How was that flirting?"
Midna rolled onto her stomach and lightly kicked her feet in the air. "You just said you'd get to romance me and that would be a win."
"Yes, but how is that flirting?"
"How is that not flirting?"
"I was just stating a fact. Flirting is a hugely complex and confusing labyrinth of innuendo and euphemisms and nothing in that sentence was even remotely suggestive." I then sighed and looked away. "At least not to me. That's why relationships, romantic ones, are so hard for me. I don't 'get' it, you know?"
Midna scooted over and placed her hand on my knee. "So don't. Just be yourself, that's what I do."
And that has worked out swimmingly for me thus far, I wanted to say. "You still haven't answered the question."
"Fair point." Midna sputtered her lips as she rolled onto her back, her ponytail hanging off the bed. "I honestly don't know. I like you as a friend but I wouldn't call that a romance. I mean, you're cute, funny, and heroic, but you also got a bunch of stuff that should probably be ironed out first. My advice for right now is let's just stay friends and see what happens."
"Hm. Wait, you think I'm cute?"
She shrugged. "Kinda, yeah. I like the color of your eyes and the way you gesticulate when you talk about something you like."
"... but I only have one eye... I'm sorry, that's just hard to wrap my head around. Doesn't my fake eye bother you?"
She happily shook her head from side to side. "Nope!"
"Really?"
"Really really."
"Oh. ... Well, I've always liked the color of your eyes."
Midna grinned, flashing that cute fang of hers. "Aww, that's sweet. I get them from my mother's side of the family. Her spirit too, as my father always told me."
"Oh crap," I said with a smile, "that means there's basically two of you."
"Yep!" She averted her eyes then, twiddling her thumbs. "So tell me, do you find me cute? I got my own insecurities, you know."
I blinked at her. "Of course you're cute. You're very attractive, both as an imp and as your true self."
"Well, that's very pleasing to hear," Midna said with a relaxed sigh. She sat up and looked me in the eye. "If it makes you uncomfortable, we can go back to taking turns on the floor."
Now it was my turn to blush. "I... actually I liked sleeping with you too. Just sleeping, of course. It's way too early for sexual activity, if we have the desire for sexual activity. I mean, if it comes to that, or we have just a friendship, or something or whatever—"
"Zach," she said, taking my hand and offering me a smile. "I get what you're trying to say. I'll admit I wish you started this conversation with a little more tact but I'll live."
"Sorry. Thanks for having this conversation anyway."
Midna made herself comfortable and said, "I guess we needed to. You're extremely warm so it's very tempting to, y'know, snuggle up with you. But I can see how that would be mistaken for romantic intent."
"Yeah." I nestled into bed myself and sighed. "I just... this is all new for me, you know? I'm sure it's all new for you too, but I'm not you so I can only talk about how I feel."
"Understandable. This is my first time in bed with someone besides my parents when I was little. I mean, it's not my first time since last night was my first time but... you get what I'm saying?"
With a snort, I nodded. "I get it."
"So..." Midna cleared her throat. "So, what was bothering you before?"
"Dammit, I was hoping you'd forget." I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I'm used to being told to stop doing the bare minimum. Stop being lazy. Stop feeling so upset at tiny things. Same old stuff. It's hard to detrain myself from that. It's hard to let go of all the resentment that built up from that too."
"Right, but what makes you think you're doing the bare minimum?"
"I don't know!" I closed my eyes and hissed through my teeth. "I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you. I just... I keep hearing snippets of past... let's call them 'conversations'. I keep hearing them in my head and they make me so god damn angry." I took a deep, deep breath. Then another. And then another again. "Calm... calm..."
Midna reached over and held my hand. "I'm proud of you, you're doing great."
"At what?"
"Calming yourself."
"... thanks." I cleared my throat. "I made it awkward, didn't I?"
Midna shrugged. "A little but it's nothing we can't handle. Let's try and get some sleep."
I nodded but jumped in surprise when Midna nestled against my side. This was... new. New is scary, unpredictable. One does not simply cuddle with the Twilight Princess, after all. But if she was comfortable with it, I guessed it was fine. I slowly moved my arm over her shoulders and held her closer, just a little closer. No need to go too far, you know?
"Hey, Midna?"
"Hm?"
"Thanks for believing in me."
She smiled at me. It was just a simple smile but it... it felt more real than any other smile she had given thus far. "Thanks for being my friend."
The next morning, I awoke to an empty bed. I lifted my eyepatch and found Midna in a nearby chair, enjoying what would probably be our last good breakfast for a while. "Morning."
Midna waved at me since her mouth was full. "How'd you sleep?"
"Fine, thanks." I stretched out and groaned at the wonderful cracks of my joints. "You?"
"I slept better than I have in a long while," she said, blushing.
I blushed too. Nothing happened, but two people don't usually sleep in the same bed without some sort of bond forming. "Move over, I'm hungry."
Midna yelped as I picked up her chair while she was still in it and scooted it over. "Hey, you could have spilled my food."
"Ehh, it's fine," I said with a smirk. The little table provided just enough room for me and Midna to eat comfortably. "So, today we head off for Lanayru Province."
"Yep. What can we expect?"
I sputtered my lips casually and said, "Assuming nothing is drastically changed, we can start with... Ah! We can expect to cross Hyrule from the top right of Hyrule Field to the bottom left corner with Lake Hylia. The lake will be drained of water because Zora's Domain is frozen, so the further north we go, the colder it will get."
Midna blanched. "Cold? Like, cold-cold?"
"Cold-cold. Freezing temperatures, so either be comfortable in my shadow or bring warm clothes."
"Okay... What else?"
"Hmm... well, we're going to thaw Zora's Domain with that big chunk of rock that crashed down during the eruption, assuming Zora's Domain is even frozen."
Midna nodded, tapping her fingers on the table. "Well, let's work with what we know. The main source of water is frozen, yes? What else?"
"The usual insect hunt, which ends with Lanayru showing a creepy-ass vision. After that, the Zora prince needs to be taken from Castle Town to Kakariko, which gets us a useful item to help me swim to the bottom of the lake, which is where the last Fused Shadow is."
"The last Fused Shadow..."
"The last Fused Shadow."
"... and then what?"
I pinched the bridge of my nose. I should have known it was going to come up, but it still caught me off guard. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"
Midna took a deep breath and nodded.
"Okay. Link gets teleported back to Lanayru's spring, where Zant is waiting for him. Zant turns Link back into a wolf, blasts you with Lanayru's light, then Link takes you to Zelda." I paused and looked at Midna. Her tapping had stopped, replaced by her fingertips digging into the table. She glanced up at me and nodded. "Zelda sacrifices herself to save you. She doesn't die, but saving you makes her vulnerable to capture. Link is trapped as a wolf until he gets the Master Sword, which banishes the dark magic into a crystal so he can change back and forth at will."
Midna blinked. "Why would he want to do that?"
I shrugged. "Being a wolf has certain advantages. He could track scents, fit through tight spaces, use that energy field attack, so on."
"Hm." She licked her lips, tapping her fingers once again. I thought she was going to say something, but she didn't. I think she wanted to but didn't know what to say.
Slowly, I moved my hand over hers. I felt her grasp my fingers back and I wished, not for the first time, for the power of better words. I'm not stupid. I knew she was trying to come to terms with her own near-death. And I knew she was thinking about how it was going to be up to me, not Link, to save her. Our last steps in Kakariko would be the first steps to that one moment.
I cleared my throat. "I... I know I'm not the hero you were expecting, but I can do it." Midna's eyes followed a path from our joined hands to my face. "I can be the hero I need to be, the hero Hyrule needs me to be. I don't know what's going to be different or the same. I can't predict the future and I can't make a promise to try. What I can promise is this: I'll do everything I can to keep you safe. Whatever happens, I'll be there for you."
She smiled again. It was the same smile from last night. "And I'll be there for you. We are in this together, after all. Whatever happens, I'll help you on the path to being a true hero. I think you have the chops for it, Zach. I really do."
I smiled back. A little whisper urged me to doubt, to be cynical, but something in the way Midna spoke hushed that whisper. It felt... like what emotional support should feel like. She confirmed that I wasn't quite the 'Hero of Twilight' but she showed hope that I could grow into it. And that was enough for me.
An hour later, Midna and I stood at the north end of Kakariko. Well, Midna was in my shadow since it was broad daylight but you get my point. In fact, she was seated on my shoulders but only my shadow showed it. It was a fascinating feeling since her weight was there but she physically wasn't.
Anyway, with us were pretty much the whole village as well as Darbus and the two escorts. Anju provided us a pack of food as well as fresh clothes for both of us; with the prospect of freezing temperatures, I requested extra blankets and thick clothing. I was expecting Barnes to give us some bombs but apparently he used up his whole stock against King Dodongo. He said he was going to send some via post later, but I doubted he was serious.
"We thank you brave heroes," said Sahasrahla, "for your outstanding valor in the face of adversity. May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce!"
I smiled at them and said, "Before we go, I want to say a few things." I cleared my throat and shook my hands free of nerves. Ugh, I hate speeches. "Midna and I want to thank you all for your generosity and hospitality. We appreciate your kindness and hope to pay it back someday." I went to the Ordon kids and knelt down. "I have something for you, Talo." The boy tilted his head at me, only for his eyes to widen when Midna summoned the Ordon Shield. "Your parents gave this to me before I left your village. I think it's only right that it be kept with you."
"Why me?" he asked. "Won't you need it?"
"Probably," I replied with a chuckle. "It's both a gift and all I can do to repay your brother for losing the other shield. I want you to have it as a reward for what you did that night."
Talo frowned but took the shield anyway. It was so big in his arms, he could use it as a helmet. "But... I didn't help fight the monster."
I nodded and said, "You didn't need to. You showed the courage of a hero by staying by your friends and helping them escape. Without you, they would have... well, you get the idea."
"That was pretty brave," Beth muttered. "It was... cool, I guess."
"Talo, listen to me very carefully." I gently held him by the shoulders. "Being a hero doesn't mean you go out fighting monsters for the heck of it. Being a hero is a responsibility, something you do as a matter of heart. I can't say I've been doing a good job but you... I know your parents would be very proud of you." I released him and Collin patted him on the back.
Midna emerged from the shadows and said, "In fact, all your parents would be proud you."
I almost stood up, but something nagged at the back of my mind. I needed to say something else, something personal...
"One last thing." I looked them each in the eye, then up at the adults behind them. "You see these grown-ups? They are going to do their best to look after you, but... well, there will be times when they can't really help you. If it hasn't happened already, there will be moments when... when you feel overwhelmed and suddenly upset. You'll feel like something's wrong even though you're perfectly safe. These moments happen to me all the time, so do what I have been failing to do:
"Let yourselves feel them. They're not going to be good feelings. You'll feel very scared or very sad or very angry or some combination of them. When that happens, that's your mind telling you that you need to process those feelings. Do that. If you feel like you need to be alone, then be alone." I pointed my finger at them. "Don't be stupid, though. Tell an adult where you're going and don't leave the village. You'll probably feel a strong urge for solitude and quiet, and that is perfectly fine. You've been through a very traumatic experience and you'd be very foolish to pretend it wasn't that bad. Being strong does not mean holding your feelings inside. Trust me, I'm finding that out the hard way. Being strong means being able to handle those feelings in a healthy way. You want to cry? Then cry. You want to scream? Then scream into a pillow. Don't bottle them up, don't lash out at your friends, and definitely don't wallow. There is such a thing as too much crying and screaming.
"As for the kids who aren't going through all that," I continued, "you'll probably feel a strong urge to either shelter or shame the one or ones who are having those moments. Do neither. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is sit quietly next to that person, put an arm around them, and let them talk or cry or whatever they need to do. You can do wonders by just letting them know you're there. You may have different parents, but you're family. You're the children of Ordon Village, which means you have a responsibility both to yourselves and to each other." I stood up and set my hands on my hips. They seemed to be listening clearly, given their wide eyes and nodding heads. Too bad I was done talking. "I'm not good at ending speeches, so... yeah."
They laughed quietly and Collin stepped forward. He opened his mouth to speak, only to rush me and hug my torso. I tensed up completely, obviously not expecting this kind of gesture. The feeling only got worse when Talo, Malo, and Beth followed suit. Left with no other option, I leaned down and wrapped my arms around them as best I could.
"Aww, that's so sweet," said Midna. "I think I'm gonna miss these little boogers."
I smiled and hugged the kids a little tighter. "I think I will too. Except Malo."
"Zach."
"He's creepy."
"... yeah, he is. Eee hee!"
Once the kids let go, I took a few steps back. It was going to be a while until I saw them again, so I snapped a picture of the whole village. It would be a nice souvenir if nothing else.
