Chapter 181
"So this is Barnard," Paris said proudly, gesturing to the campus' facade as they approached. The girls looked up at the view in front of them.
Given that it was the middle of winter, the entire campus was covered in snow. New York was always beautiful covered in snow, but the buildings of Barnard College were particularly beautiful, as were the trees surrounding it. The buildings were tall, imposing. They reminded Rory a little bit of Yale, albeit more urban. In Rory's opinion, it wasn't nearly as beautiful. But even though Paris had gone to Yale too, had the same point of reference, Rory couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Paris look so enthralled.
"Follow me, I'll show you the quad," Pari said, leading the girls through a series of buildings to the center of the campus. It was a simple square, much smaller than the ones at Yale, Rory noted.
Lane looked around. She hadn't had much experience with college campuses herself, but this square was about the size of the one in the center of Stars Hollow. It was pretty, and it all looked sort of what TV had led her to believe most colleges looked like, apart from Yale, which, in her brief experience staying with Paris and Lane, she'd found to be an imposing anomaly.
Paris looked at the others for their reactions. She saw Hannah smiling and nodding, Jane looking around quizzically, Lane looking reflective, and an expression she couldn't quite read, or didn't want to, on Rory's face. She looked away before Rory could speak.
"This campus is incredible. It feels like home, in the middle of a city like this. It's unbelievable. And it feels completely and totally its own, not beholden to Columbia or anything," Paris noted.
Rory watched her carefully. Paris was practically beaming, walking around, gesturing to building after building (not that there were many), her bump protruding through her navy coat. The cold didn't seem to bother her. It puzzled Rory, how Paris could be satisfied with this. It was so…small. She'd gone to Yale. It just didn't make sense to Rory how Paris could be impressed with this. Rory started to say something, but Paris turned away, continuing on, and Lane pulled Rory back.
"Paris, my feet are killing me. Rory and I are gonna take a breather. We'll catch up," Lane said to Paris, meeting her eyes. Paris furrowed her brow, but then nodded with understanding, gesturing to Jane and Hannah to follow her to some sort of arch. Once they'd walked a bit away, Lane turned to Rory.
"Okay, you need to snap out of it. Your reaction is written all over your face."
"Reaction? What reaction is that?" Rory said, crossing her arms defensively. Lane narrowed her eyes.
"Rory, it's me. Do you really want the answer to that question?"
"…yes."
"It's your condescending look."
"I don't have a condescending look!"
"You do, and you've been wearing it since we walked up to this campus. Which, mind you, most people would find impressive. But you've got a look on your face that is clearly screaming 'This is no Yale'."
"I'd never say that," Rory exclaimed.
"Not in those words, maybe," Lane challenged, "But you don't get why Paris is so into it, do you?"
"She is, isn't she?" Rory asked. Lane nodded. Rory sighed. "No, I really don't. It just doesn't make sense."
"Well, can I make a suggestion? Why don't you try observing, and listening to your friend, and trying to understand why it matters so much to her, instead of looking at it through your own eyes?"
"…but we had the same experience."
"No, you went to the same school. You didn't have the same experience of it, Rory, and you aren't having the same experience of where you are now. I know Paris has been…difficult, other time, but she seems really happy about this. So I'm sure you want to support that. Right?"
Rory sighed. "Right."
"Okay. Well then put that face away and get it together. I guarantee we've got at least 18 more effusive campus tour stops." Rory nodded, following Lane back to the group. When they walked over, Paris turned to Rory doubtfully.
"Lane's feet better?"
"Yep. What'd we miss?"
"Buildings."
"Well, which ones? Tell me about them," Rory insisted, meeting Paris' eyes. Paris held her gaze for a second, but decided not to press the issue, and not look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Okay," Paris smiled, bringing them back towards another building, "This is the library. It has some pretty interesting collections…"
An hour and a half later, the girls had seen all of Barnard's campus, a few Columbia buildings that Paris had deemed worthwhile, and several local finds around campus, including a bakery and a diner. Rory marveled at how quickly Paris seemed to have found herself at home here, and how her enthusiasm didn't falter at any point. Nor did it seem forced. It seemed that Paris had truly, genuinely found a sense of joy here. Rory might not get it, but she wasn't going to question anything that was making Paris this happy.
"Well, I'm beat," Paris admitted, "You guys mind if we head back to the hotel?"
"Sure," Lane nodded.
"Great. Everyone okay with the subway?"
Lane and Hannah immediately nodded. Jane and Rory looked surprised.
"You take the subway?" Rory asked, before she could stop herself. Paris looked at her, confused.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"I just…have a hard time imagining you on the subway. I always thought of you as more of a taxi kind of person."
"…well, we can quite literally go down and take it now, so you don't have to imagine," Paris said, an eyebrow raised in faint amusement. Hannah looked at Jane.
"You okay, Jane?"
"…yeah. I guess it's fine. It's safe, right?"
Paris suppressed an eye roll, along with about twelve snarky comments about car accident mortality tables, statistics regarding danger to women in large groups, and jokes about the safety risks of being illogically risk-averse and lacking situational awareness. She pushed back the condescension that still came instinctually to her, recognizing that wasn't how she wanted to be. That said, she wasn't quite able to muster a nicer response, so she gave Lane a quick look, which she was grateful that Lane immediately interpreted.
"Yep!" Lane smiled cheerfully at Jane, "Perfectly safe. Literally no risk. Even more true since we're all together in such a large group. It'll be fine." Jane nodded, looking a little more convinced. Paris nodded firmly and led the group down the stairs, doing her best to keep a straight face.
As they walked down the stairs, Paris' thoughts drifted to a moment the night before, one that she'd tried to gloss over, let go of, and set out of her mind. But it was back. She took out her phone, and quickly read a message. She sighed, typing a seemingly-quick response, and sent it. She pocketed her phone before she could overthink the situation any further.
No one noticed any of this. Hannah was sitting on a seat next to Jane, who was looking around nervously, but not visibly panicking. Rory and Lane were standing, chatting and looking like locals. Paris found herself watching their interaction. She was amused that Rory had assumed she was a taxi sort of person. It made some sense, Paris supposed, based on her upbringing and some of her more obsessive tendencies when they were younger. But ever since her parents had lost their money, Paris hadn't really been afraid of much. She was always willing to try things that probably wouldn't have occurred to her, and in fact, it didn't occur to her not to take the subway. She had since she moved to New York, and the few times she'd visited before that. She liked it. People generally left each other alone, most everyone shared a sense of purposeful urgency- you didn't have people standing around obliviously, and if you did, for once, Paris likely wouldn't be the first person to tell them to move. She found it peaceful to read there, surrounded by lots of people but confident that generally, they'd leave her alone as she'd leave them.
Now that she thought about it more, though, Doyle never really took the subway. He took cabs to and from work, and most places, and the only times Paris really found herself in a taxi, unless she was coming back late at night, which was rare, was when she and Doyle went out to dinner, or decided to go somewhere together. Curious. It hadn't occurred to her before. It also hadn't occurred to her how little she'd thought about Doyle over the last day or so. That seemed like it should be strange, since they lived in this city together. But it didn't feel strange to Paris. She added that mental note to the filing box she was waiting to open until she settled into her new job, gave birth, and life generally became a little more accommodating to consider more potentially life-altering changes. Just then, Rory looked over and met Paris' eyes. She smiled.
"I can imagine it now. It looks natural on you. Don't know why I couldn't see it before."
