I was not ready for the response to my last chapter, you all got so mad at the cliff hanger hahahaha. Sorry! Maybe this will smooth it over a little bit! Thanks for the comments and keep 'em coming if ya like what you read. Enjoy the chapter, a little less tumultuous this time around! Hope you enjoy! :)


Ava snuck downstairs after she was convinced she could hear her father's snoring. She grabbed her phone from where it charged overnight in the kitchen and made her way in to Trevor's office, pulling the door closed.

She hit call on Olivia's number. She didn't care that it was after 11.

After a few rings, a sleepy Olivia answered. "How can you even be asleep?" Ava snapped, angered by the fact that the problems between her Dad and Liv wasn't keeping the detective up.

Olivia answered, disoriented and confused.

"Liv, I need to talk to you," she said, frustrated with Olivia trying to get her bearings. "Wake up!," she demanded.

"Ava…" her voice trailed off. "Honey, why aren't you in bed?"

"Because!," she sputtered, "I can't sleep because my Dad is so upset! You need to fix this. He is so sad and he needs you and you suddenly decided you don't want to be with him as though his past is suddenly some big secret from you…"

"Slow down, Ava, you don't know-"

"No!" She snapped, "Liv, I love you and you are hurting me and you are hurting my father and you are hurting Noah. I had to console my own Dad tonight, I found him crying! Do you know how that feels? And you're just giving up on us because you decided it was too hard for you!"

Olivia felt a sinking feeling. She knew Ava had a point even if she was probably mimicking what her father had told her. "I don't want you to not be a part of my life, Olivia, you're the best Mom I've ever had and I don't even care if you know it. I spent my childhood wishing I had a Mom who actually was interested in me, who didn't say awful things to me just because she had a shit upbringing… I am not ready to lose Noah!" Ava spoke desperately as though she expected that Liv might hang up at any second.

"Ava, please stop for a second…" Liv spoke over her. "Just… pause."

Ava stopped speaking immediately, wiping away tears that streamed down her cheeks.

"What do you mean, why was your Dad crying?"

"I saw the text you sent him and he was drunk and I guess he reacted to your text but he yelled out so I came to check on him and he was hunched over crying. He is so upset and I don't know what to do," she sniffed. "He got emotional when he said goodnight to me, he is so hurt and I feel like you don't care about us."

"I do care," she said softly. "I love you both so much, sweetheart."

"Then why aren't you here!? Prove it, Liv, actions are louder than words. Dad needs you. I need you."

"Ava, do me a favour… take your phone upstairs with you. If you get in to trouble for it, I'll say it was on me."

"Okay…?"

"I'm going to call you back in five minutes. Don't you worry about Dad, okay? I'll fix it."

"Okay Liv." There was resolve to Olivia's voice and despite Ava not being able to place it, she knew something had changed.

"Love you, babe."

Ava felt suddenly as though Olivia had made the decision to fix things; that her rant worked, that she was taking her seriously. And it was serious, she had never seen her Dad neither drunk nor emotional and it deeply upset her.

She went to her bedroom and flipped her phone to silent. She crept back out and up to her Dad's room and could hear him snoring through the door that he'd left ajar. She went back to her own room and closed the door.

/

Olivia thanked Lucy profusely, realising how late it was when she arrived. "I will be back as early as I can be but… thank you, honestly, you're amazing, I am so lucky to have you."

"Its okay, Olivia, you're welcome, you better go over there and sort out your man and his girl."

A look of alarm spread across Liv's face. "What do you mean?," she was playing dumb, she was surprised that Lucy knew something was wrong and for a second, irate that Trevor could unload on to her nanny.

"Ava was in a real… mood," she smiled, "and then Trevor got home and I realised something was wrong. Ava had her nose in a book, didn't want to talk and I caught her crying a few times. We went for a walk before I left and she cried almost the whole way."

"Fuck…" Olivia remarked, not realising the weight of her behaviour. "And Trevor?"

"He was upset. I know work was tough, the little girl cried when she said goodbye to Ava and then it turned in to a full screaming melt down when he tried to get her out of the door… Even I had to walk away because I got emotional," the nanny admitted.

Olivia put her bag over her shoulder. She definitely needed to see them both. She felt like her anger had been short-sighted and even if she felt scared and vulnerable, she was able to put her own feelings aside for the moment to console Ava and she had thought about what Trevor had said in her apartment before he stormed out.

He did go out of his way to make sure she was happy and he didn't do it out of obligation, he genuinely wanted her to be happy. She needed to trust his words and his actions without letting her brain get clouded by what was in the past.

She sighed. "Okay… I better go see them and figure it out. Thanks Lucy, I'll see you first thing in the morning."

"Don't rush, I'll give Noah breakfast and get him ready for school."

"Alright," she held her arms out and gave her nanny a hug.

/

Ava felt relieved when Olivia texted her to let her in. She'd purposely and pointedly left her key on Trevor's kitchen counter when she left. She tip-toed downstairs and opened the door up and waited for Olivia to come upstairs.

She saw her dressed in some tights and her father's oversized hoodie with an overnight bag. She took it to be a good sign. She found herself overwhelmed with relief as she let Olivia in and closed the door quietly behind her. "Oh, honey…" Olivia pouted when she saw Ava's face turn red, knowing that that was what happened right before she began to cry.

Ava threw her arms around Olivia and let her tears go. Olivia hugged her back, her arms tightly wrapped around her. She kissed her forehead. "I'm so sorry that I upset you, honey, this was never about you, okay?" She kissed her again. "I love you so much, you have no idea…"

She held on to the teen until she calmed down, feeling the heat from her body from all of her crying.

Finally, Ava pulled away and wiped her eyes. "Promise you're not going to leave again?," she asked, "I don't want you to leave us again, Liv. I know I'm not supposed to say it but you're the only person who's close to a Mom that I have now."

Liv hugged her again. "I don't mind if you say it…" she said softly, "I won't leave you Ava, I'm always here for you."

She pulled away again and Liv guided her to the kitchen. "Here… plug your phone back in… go get in to bed and I'll be up in a second and I'll say goodnight before I go talk to your dad."

"He got really drunk and he's been snoring…"

Olivia gave her a weary smile. "Its okay, I'll worry about your Dad, you worry about getting some sleep."

"Are you going to come to Noah school with me tomorrow?," she asked.

Olivia shrugged, "I'm not sure, we'll see how we go tonight…" They went upstairs quietly and Olivia went to the bathroom while Ava got back in to bed. She brushed her teeth and got changed in to pyjamas and hoped to goodness she was making the right move, that Trevor would be okay with her sneaking in to his apartment to offer him comfort in the night.

She went back down to Ava's room was happy to see a more relaxed teen, seeming happier. She pulled the blankets up around her. Despite Ava being a little too old to be tucked in, Liv knew that she relished it and always did her best to hide a little joyful smile each time that her Dad's girlfriend pulled the blankets up high over her shoulders and tucked them beneath the mattress so that she was snug.

"Sweetheart, I just wanted to circle back to what you said to me earlier about feeling like I'm your Mom-"

"I know, I shouldn't have said it-"

"I wasn't going to say that," Olivia smiled gently at her, "I was going to say that when you say things like that, I don't take them lightly and it really means everything to me. It's not to say that I don't have reluctance to take on that role when your Mom is still present."

"She's not present though, it's been almost two months since I've heard from her… the last time was when my phone broke."

"I know but…" she caressed Ava's hair, "you know what I mean, babe, I'm just trying to be respectful."

"Why? She isn't respectful toward me or you or Dad…" Ava sighed, "but its okay Liv, I understand."

"You can say or do whatever you're comfortable with and as long as your Dad is comfortable too, but I just need you to know that sometimes things happen beyond my control or beyond Dad's control and I'm just so mindful of hurting you and if your Dad and I don't work out, I know you're going to take that so hard."

"You think you might not work out?," she wondered, "because I think you are both going to get married. I've never seen my Dad like this about anyone he's dated, he wasn't even like this with Mom, not even when I was little."

"I want to say that I will be with your Dad forever and that Noah will get to have a Dad too and that you guys will get to officially be brother and sister, trust me, no one wants that more than me, but sweetheart, I just need you to know sometimes things happen that throw us off."

"I saw the message you sent to Dad, I know he would be mad, but he was drunk and his phone was open and I don't want you to think that you're not good enough," she said softly.

Liv winced, hating that she'd seen the last message she'd sent Trevor. "Honey, I can't talk about that with you, that was a private message to your Dad, that's grown up stuff."

"I'm just saying…" Ava's voice trailed off quickly before Olivia shut the conversation down. "Sometimes I feel like I am never good enough for anyone and that I don't want to put my hopes or happiness in to anything in case I get hurt. I don't even want to try to make friends after what happened with Rhiannon and then Rosa and… I don't feel good enough sometimes and it gets hard to breathe, I don't know if you feel the same but I want you to know how much we love you and you're always good enough."

The teen's words almost winded her, she wondered how the kid managed to have her so perfectly pegged that she seemed to realise how Olivia was feeling even before Olivia did.

"Just the way that you feel that about me, Ava, your Dad, Noah and I, we feel the same about you. You're always good enough, you are more than that, you are our bright star…"

Ava smiled. "Love you, Liv."

"Love you too, now goodnight and no more snooping in your Dad's messages and meddling in our fights, okay?"

She couldn't help but giggle. Olivia smiled and shook her head. "You are up way too late, go to sleep you little brat," she winked, getting up and turning her night-light off.

/

Olivia put her bag down beside the bed and could make out Trevor laying flat on his back through the crack of light from the hallway. He was snoring; it was definitely a drunken snore.

She suddenly felt tired. She slid beneath the covers and sidled up to him. She couldn't deny how good it felt in his bed, how warm it was and how badly she wanted the comfort of him beside her. She reached over and touched his shoulder. "Trevor…" she whispered. "Trevor…"

He stirred and continued snoring. "Trev…" she began a little louder. She turned the bedside lamp on.

Instantly, Trevor's eyes opened, startled; alarmed. "What?!," he sat up, alert.

"I didn't mean to startle you, sorry…"

Trevor stared for a second, trying to figure out of she was real. "Liv? Wha-" he looked at his bedside clock, "what's the time?"

"Just after midnight…" she replied.

"Did you just get here— is everything okay?" He rubbed his face trying to figure out what was going on.

She touched his arm, "Baby… I just … came over, I couldn't leave things like they were…"

He seemed relieved. He stared at her for a moment. He took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry," she added, "for… earlier at my apartment, for what I said. I was out of line."

"Wait…" he shook his head. "Wait, I need to wake up properly, I'm still half asleep." He got up and slipped out of bed. He went to the bathroom and splashed his face with water. He took a second to compose himself. He was surprised at the very least. He was still too startled to feel relief yet and he wasn't sure that it wouldn't turn in to another round of arguing.

He patted his face dry and gargled some mouthwash, his mouth tasted rancid from falling asleep with beer breath.

He found Olivia sitting on the bed looking a little defeated. He wanted to make her feel better and assure her and talk about things properly.

"Okay…" he sat back down, "take two… sorry, love, I was in the middle of a weird dream and got disoriented."

"Its okay," she replied. "I started second guessing if it was okay to be here," she added.

"Wait, how did you get in?"

"Ava…" Olivia replied, "she sent me a text and I told her I was coming and asked her to let me in when I arrived."

"I hope she didn't harass you Liv, I'm sorry, I asked her not to text you and to respect your space,"

"Its alright, I needed to hear what she had to say," Liv replied.

"Do you want to talk or…" he scratched his growing beard and sighed, "I guess, I want to know that tomorrow you're not going to wake up and think this was a mistake and go home again and freak out."

Liv said nothing and looked down, feeling a little ashamed of her behaviour.

"I don't say that to be mean or to make you feel bad, I just… don't know that I can deal with that."

"That's fair," Olivia told him. "I guess I want to talk if you're up to it… but, I really just want to give you a hug and tell you how sorry I am that I upset you and how sorry I am that I upset Ava."

"Its okay," he said, "I'm sorry for losing my temper today and speaking to you the way that I did…"

"Its okay," she repeated, finally daring to look him in his eyes. He took her hand, motioning for her to get closer. She climbed in to his lap, feeling the relief of his physical comfort start to unwind her.

He pulled her closer, letting her get comfortable, straddling him, circling her arms around him. "I'm so stupid…" she murmured as she felt his own arms, slowly sliding around her. His embrace was strong and firm and more than anything, secure.

"You're not stupid, Olivia, don't say that about yourself."

"I love you," she said in response, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I love you," he repeated, smoothing her hair. "I love you so much and I would never let you just run from me unless you had a very good reason…"

She pulled away from him, sliding her hands up to his cheeks, taking his face in her hands. "I'm just… really scared…"

"What of, baby?," he asked gently, "I need to know so I can re-assure you…"

Olivia's eyes lowered a little. She studied his face and everywhere but the beautiful light green eyes that were expectant.

"It sounds so stupid in my head…" her voice trailed off, "I'm scared of how stupid you'll think I am."

"I won't, swear it…" he replied with a little smile, trying to encourage her words out of her.

"I am scared that… if I don't run from this now, I'm all in and you might find out that I'm not the person you think I am and you might decide this isn't for you and I'll lose Ava and you and Noah will lose the guy who thinks helps hold up the sky…"

Trevor lifted her chin. "I can't know the future, Olivia, but I do know you. I know that I love you and I know that I love what we have and I love your little boy as much as you love my little girl and I don't think anything you can do would surprise me or make my feelings change."

She dared to look at him. She loved him so much. She let her lips press against his; it was comfort and reassurance. "I hope you trust me and you trust how much I love you."

"I do…" she nodded. "I'm sorry for running. I want to break this pattern…"

"I know," he said softly, letting his fingers run through her long hair. "And… I want us to talk about my past more too," he said, "I know it bothers you and its okay, you could have asked me as many questions as you like…. And you still can, you can keep asking them for as long as you need until you feel comfortable with it all."

"It wasn't even fair for me to be mad at you, I realise that…" her voice trailed off.

"But you don't always get to control how you feel about stuff, I understand. Maybe you were right, maybe it was a bad idea to bring Ivy home especially where there are other children and maybe it confused things for her."

Olivia let a tiny smile come to her lips, "Did she tantrum? Cry? Scream?"

"All of the above," he sighed, "it broke my heart worse than seeing her yesterday after Ava's swim meet… Bringing her here was short-sighted and you tried to tell me but I thought I knew better, for that I'm sorry. You have more experience…"

"Its okay, I know how you felt, I was trying to respect what you thought was the right thing…"

"I should have asked really if you were genuinely okay with it, because my situation became your and the kids situation without making sure everyone was on board and that was pretty selfish of me," he admitted, staring at her. She let out a quiet sigh, relieved that he understood her initial reasons for being upset. "I won't do that again, I'll make sure any decisions are made by us together…"

"Thanks but it wasn't that bad, she was a sweetheart and I get it… but if we live together we have to really make sure everything is an equal part decision."

"Agreed."

"I love you so much," he murmured, letting his finger bury at the base of her neck in to her hair, grazing against her scalp. "I am so glad you're here."

"I am too…" she nodded. "I missed you so much and I didn't realise just how much until I got in to bed with you before…"

He was able to smile despite looking weary. He kissed her lips briefly. "Do you forgive me for my past?," he dared to ask.

"Yes, I've always forgiven your past, I just…" she shrugged, "I guess, some days I find it hard to reconcile because that man I knew back then was tough and at times—" she tried to be delicate.

"Heartless," he supplied. "I know and it's okay that you feel like that."

She felt bad, "I don't want you to always have to apologise for your past, I'm not suggesting that you need to or that you should forever be held accountable or… whatever," she replied.

"I know, but I'm just letting you know that I'm open to talking about it whenever you need to…"

"Thanks, love. You were right with what you said at my apartment, you really do always do everything that you can to make Noah and I happy and it was so fucking rude of me to call you selfish."

"I'm not perfect, maybe I was being a little selfish."

She shook her head. "You weren't…" she let her eyes sweep over his perfect face and realised just how at home felt and how right it was to be with him as close as she was. "I love you," she told him.

"I love you baby," he murmured. He kissed her lips. "Would you like to go to sleep and talk more tomorrow?"

She nodded. She was tired. "Yeah… I barely slept last night," she admitted.

"Me too," he replied. She went to disrobe his sweatshirt to get ready to move to her own side. She felt his hands at her waist, holding the hem of her t-shirt while she lifted the sweater over her head and discarded. It was the little gestures that he did without thinking that made him so wonderful, she thought, those gestures spoke more than any giant, over-the-top expensive romance.

"Do you feel like cuddling me?," she asked giving him a little smile.

He laughed; he adored her, she was so sweet and was asking the question as though she thought he might actually say no,

"That actually sounds like such an incredible idea…"

"Good because I'll have to leave early enough to take Noah to school…"

"Can you hang out tomorrow?," he wondered as she climbed off and under the blankets beside him, discarding the t-shirt of his that she was wearing and dressed down to a camisole. She reached behind her and took off her bra and felt relieved as her boobs relaxed.

"I think so, just have to take Noah to school and get some stuff together for work, I suppose."

She got comfortable beside him and watched him ease down on to his pillow how she had found him when she arrived.

He faced her and continued stroking her hair. "You know," he began, his voice still hushed - both of them emotionally exhausted, Olivia hadn't stopped crying for most of her time away from him, putting on a brave face only for Noah, "to answer your question before… I don't happen to think you're too broken," he murmured.

Instantly she lowered her eyes for fear that they'd spill over with tears.

"You're not," he added, "you just have this idea of who you might be in your head but you view yourself with such harshness, never ever being kind to yourself or giving yourself a break…"

"Don't…" she said, becoming choked up, "I'm too tired to hear this… I don't want to cry, I just want to…" she paused, struggling to even say the words, "I just want you to want me," she murmured, her voice cracking, her words splitting in half, hitting Trevor hard. He realised just how deeply she internalised things and how much she kept to herself. Even to tell him what she needed from him was barely possible.

"Its okay…" he murmured, "of course I want you, I need you, Olivia," he told her sincerely. "Let me tell you, it takes a lot to make me cry, but I've been full of tears since you left… I want you here with me more than you can understand."

She looked up at him and nodded, pressing her lips together so a sob couldn't escape.

"K?" He confirmed.

"Yeah…" she breathed with relief, wiping a stray tear with the back of her hand.

"We're going to talk about this again tomorrow, but for now I want you and I want you to snuggle in close to me because it's weird to sleep without you in my arms."

"Okay…" she murmured, moving closer to him, snuggling in to his arms just the way he liked. He loved the way she always slept in the same position against him, her body curled inward toward him while he covered her with his arms, kicking off the covers before letting go of her if he got too hot.

"Goodnight, my sweet Olivia…" his voice trailed off, planting a kiss on her forehead and then on her nose.

She managed a little chuckle and gave him a squeeze. "Goodnight baby," she replied.

/

After a more than peaceful sleep, Olivia woke up at 5am. She knew she had to be out of the house by 7 and back to her apartment to see Noah off for school. She really didn't want to leave the warm confines of her bed though. She yawned silently and pulled the covers up around her shoulders.

"Why are you awake?" Trevor asked sleepily with his low, bass-y morning voice right by her ear. She tried not to shiver as she rolled over to face him. "Its so early…" he added.

"I gotta be home to take Noah to school by at least 7…" she replied softly. He wrapped an arm around her, drawing her in, resting his chin upon her head. He moaned with frustration in her ear and it did something to her insides. She let her eyes fall shut. She knew he was falling back asleep with the heaviness of his arm and the slow, even breaths he let out.

Olivia leaned over and kissed his neck and planted another at his throat. She felt him swallow and stir again. She his hand running slow down her back, looking for the hem of the t-shirt. He slid his hand beneath it, skin-to-skin contact always felt so nice.

She let out a sigh of contentment being so close to him again, finally freeing herself of the stupid ruminations that encumbered her.

"What a good morning it is…" he whispered as he moved slightly so she could lift her head to kiss her lips. "I love that I got you in my arms again…"

"I love you so much," she murmured. She reached up for his face and stroked his greying beard, "I'll never leave you for another day, not like that…"

"That's what I needed to hear," he gave her a half-smile; adoring her. "You can yell and scream and swear and tell me off, but I won't let you leave again."

He kissed her lips again. He felt her hands smoothing down his chest. He knew she wanted to make love, it was her way. Sometimes she was shy about asking him or making the first move for fear that he'd reject her, but he had recognised the signals. It was the way she began to stroke his body lightly and sensually that was different to her regular affection. Coupled with kisses against his jaw or his neck, he got the hint pretty quickly.

He pulled her closer feeling her hands find her way to his hip, smoothing down over his stomach. Olivia felt him suck his stomach in, anticipating her light touch. He found her mouth again and kissed her slow and passionately as her warm, soft hand found it's way beneath the elastic of his underwear.

Trevor let out a quiet groan from the back of his throat, humming against her lips as she gripped his shaft, freeing it from his trunks, already standing to attention; his morning erection never disappointed. He broke the kiss and helped her push them down out of the way.

"Is this okay?," she asked him, making eye contact while she slid her hand up and down his shaft.

He nodded, intoxicated and gave a little chuckle, "of course…"

With her hands all over him, she began to kiss her way down his chin and his jaw, concentrating on laying her tongue over his warm skin on her way down south. He let his eyes close and sank in to the mattress; both them understanding what was about to happen and he was absolutely powerless.

He watched her making her way down his chest, not wasting too much time, but focusing on the spots that she knew turned him on; swirling her tongue around his belly. She heard him let out a little puff of air as she moved further south. He lifted the blanket so he could watch, smiling down at her as she briefly made eye contact with him. It drove him crazy, the tiny little smile that adorned her mouth.

Olivia ran her tongue along his shaft and kissed around the base of his erection, gripping him firmly, moving up and down his length.

He groaned in surprise as he felt the head of his penis covered by the warmth of her mouth. He reached down for her, caressing her hair, trying not to get too carried away. He never wanted to push her head down or guide her too aggressively, so instead he went with light touches or took a handful of her hair in his fist, careful not to pull, just to be able to hold on to her.

She felt his fingertips along her scalp causing goosebumps to arise upon the surface of her skin. He had himself propped up on his other arm, watching with anticipation as his erection disappeared between her lips that tightly slid up his shaft, her tongue working its magic from inside of her mouth.

He hummed with pleasure, trying not to make any loud noise. "That feels amazing, love…" he whispered, breathless. He was mesmerised by his cock disappearing and reappearing again, each time going a little deeper in to her mouth. She gripped his thigh and slid her free hand up beneath it until she held one of his ass cheeks in her hand, squeezing his flesh, pulling him closer, pushing him further in to her mouth.

As his coated erection reappeared, she flicked her tongue over his head, running circles around it with her tongue, realising how sensitive he had become.

"Shit… love…" he blurted out, trying hard to keep quiet, "you better stop…"

Olivia didn't immediately stop, she squeezed his ass again and moaned softly against him as he let go of her hair, letting it tickle the inside of his thighs. He was close, his hips and legs began to tense. He reached down, running his fingertips along the frame of her face. She always found it such a gentle gesture, something that she hadn't experienced while giving oral sex with past partners — it hadn't always been the respectful situation that Trevor allowed it to be.

He pulled her away, "you better stop, come on… come up here…" he warned her.

Giving in, Olivia released him from her mouth, stroking his slick length with her firm grasp, making her way back up until she was beside him. He kissed her repeatedly, lingeringly on her soft, plump lips. "You are the loveliest," he murmured, studying her face.

"You are just…" she told him between kisses, "the absolute sexiest," she replied with a grin.

He smiled; he was wide-awake now. He grabbed her hand, lacing her fingers through his, kissing her hand briefly before letting go again. He let his hands fall over the curves and contours of her body that he loved just so much. His hand disappeared beneath the hem of his own t-shirt that covered her.

She felt his thumb brushing over her alert nipple. She wrapped her arms around him, craving his body and that connection that was always overwhelmingly strong between them in the bedroom. It was almost maddening that she couldn't convey how she felt until he was deep inside of her — only then was she able to feel the satisfaction.

It couldn't come soon enough.

She wanted him and boldly took his hand from her hip and pushed it further south, surprising Trevor. "Not interested in being patient?," he joked.

"No…" she replied, "I really need you," she murmured, daring to look in to his eyes.

He obliged, kissing her lips simply in reply. He wriggled her pants down until she was naked waist down. He searched her outer thighs allowing the anticipation of his touch to grow just a little but he suspected she was past that point. He watched her eyes close and a very tiny bite of her lip that sped his exploration up a little.

She let out a soft sigh when his hand met her centre. She shivered visibly. He caught her mouth and kissed her passionately feeling her arousal and slipping his fingers inside of her. Her back arched in to him and she began to roll her hips to meet his languid movements. She turned her head, breaking the kiss as her breathing became laboured, concentrating on his touch.

"Feel good?," he questioned her softly in her ear.

She opened her eyes and nodded with a little smile. "Yeah…" she answered.

"Good…" He kissed her as he continued to move slowly inside of her and back out again setting off all of her nerve endings and making her feel dizzy and warm and ready to have him buried within her.

She tilted her head back as he buried his face in to the juncture of her neck, kissing her and tasting her skin leaving a wet trail along her collarbone.

He felt her reaching for him and he realised she was ready. He removed his hand from between her legs and created some distance for a moment so he could get in to a more comfortable position. Olivia went to turn, assuming the position that they almost always had sex in.

"Wait…" he murmured, "I want to see your face," he told her. She wondered what he was doing as he eased up to a sitting position, moving his pillows out of the way. "Come here…" he patted his lap. She smiled at him. "I get to hold you and kiss you this way," he loved the sweet look that crossed her face. He was reminded of what she had said the night before, I just want you to want me.

He couldn't wait to show her just how much he wanted her.

He assisted her, pulling her on to him. He watched her raise herself upon her knees for a moment and reach down to guide him in to her. She lowered herself down on to his erection slowly, allowing herself to get used to the angle. She let out a gasp as their hips crushed together.

"Okay?," he asked, breathing slow.

"Yeah," she nodded, smiling at him reassuringly. He reached for the hem of her t-shirt and started pulling it up over her head. Olivia lifted her arms up and let him pull it over her head so that she was also naked. He let his eyes sweep over her perfect breasts and her soft hourglass figure.

He couldn't get over how good she looked in the morning glow. He leaned forward slightly, letting his hands glide down until they settled on her hips, slowly guiding her in rhythm with his own. She could barely stand the intensity of his stare; she found it to be disarming and her vulnerability was hard to ignore.

She slipped her arms around his neck. He drew her forward against him, holding her body close as her hips rolled with his. He kissed her shoulder as he caressed her back with his fingertips. She pulled away so she could kiss him.

"I love you," she murmured.

"I love you," he replied, finding her mouth. Their lips aligned and her tongue filled his mouth. "Mmm," he hummed, breaking away, "you feel so good," he murmured, leaning back on the head board, letting his eyes shut for a second.

She could feel how deeply he was buried inside of her, a slight discomfort that felt on the better edge of pain; when he thrust inside of her it made her jolt with a feeling that was … otherly. Each time she lost the ability to think and her mind went blank.

Olivia felt his fingers tracing the dip of her spine. She arched her back forward. She hadn't been prepared for his mouth on her collarbone as she leaned further back, losing a little of her ability to meet his hips. He didn't mind; he circled an arm around her back to support her and the other hand on her waist, helping her.

She was completely powerless. She leaned further back, supporting herself with one arm behind her on the bed. His mouth moved further down as she was angled against him, feeling every little bit of herself begin to tingle. She felt his tongue massaging her skin as he worshipped her body, letting his lips map their way across her soft skin. He let go of her hip for a moment, letting his palm graze over the hard beads of her nipple, guiding her breast in to his mouth.

Olivia let out a moan, forgetting herself for the second.

It was almost too much. He moved faster inside of her the pleasure she felt rippled throughout her body slowly but wholly. She felt herself shivering from his touch and his mouth all over her. Trevor knew she was close and so was he, he was almost losing his grip on her, his body weakening as his thighs tensed and his thrusts became harder and deeper, giving her is all. She reached for him. He pulled her forward.

She met his eyes looked away immediately, the intimacy was too overwhelming.

"Look at me," he commanded gently, "don't look away Liv…"

Slowly she averted her eyes to meet his, "I'm yours," he whispered knowing that it was possibly one of the cheesiest things he'd ever said, yet he meant it with every bit of his soul and he wanted her to know it. A little smile adorned her cherry-pink lips.

"I'm yours too" she replied. She could barely contain herself. She was tiring, she rested her head on his shoulder for a moment, wrapping her arms around him as the feel of her own body contracting around him sent waves of pleasure throughout her body right to the tips of her fingers and the curl of her toes.

Her grip on his body was tight, Trevor felt her muscles around him as an orgasm washed over her. His hips shook involuntarily and he thrust deeply within her, hitting the spot that made her come undone — and him too, as it turned out. His body trembled as he filled her up, continuing to deeply thrust within her until every drop was empty.

"Fuck…" he cursed breathlessly as she collapsed against him.

He leaned back against the bed head, wrapping his arms around her. She caught her breath, listening to the thudding of his heart as it slowed back down. He kissed her forehead and pushed her hair from her face.

He was spent and he was sure that she was too. With an arm hooked around her, he leaned forward briefly and drew the bedsheet up over them. He planted a kiss on her shoulder blade and another on her neck and jaw making his way up to her mouth.

"I love you," he breathed.

"Me too," she replied, still calming down, her legs still feeling like they had been struck by currents of electricity.

She wrapped both arms around his neck. Trevor understood that it was time for physical affection. Sometimes after sex they both went straight to the shower, but it seemed more recently afterward she wanted comfort and security and post-sex affection. He didn't mind, it was just a part of what helped her feel at ease with him. He loved the closeness and her neediness and it made him feel as though everything was actually okay.

"Do you feel okay?," he wondered after sitting in silence with her for a few moments.

"Yeah…" her voice trailed off, "I'm good, that was … great."

He chuckled a little bashfully as he stroked her hair down to the ends, letting his fingers run along the soft skin of her back. "You're just a little quiet," he remarked.

"I know, I'm just thinking about how lucky I am," she replied, pushing herself up to face him, "how different a day can make things and how stupid my brain can be, getting in the way of what my heart knows is right."

A smile spread across Trevor's mouth. She couldn't help but to kiss him. "I'm sorry again, for what I put you through and what I put Ava through…"

"I want to forget it," he replied, "I want to pretend it never happened."

"Okay," Olivia agreed. She stroked his face, it was a face that she loved to look at. His skin was soft and when he wasn't clean-shaven, the beard that began to cover his angled features seemed to only make him look that little bit more attractive to her. She ran her fingers through the makings of the beard and smiled. "I like this…"

"I was going to shave it off," he admitted leaning in to her hand as her fingertips ran through it, slightly scratching at his skin; it felt good, he thought, beards got itchy, it felt good to have her fingers brushing through it. He smiled as his fingers got to the tips of her hair, "I like this, your hair, it hasn't been this long in a lot of years…"

She smiled back, beaming, "I know. I was thinking of cutting it…"

"I can keep my beard like this for you if you like…?" He suggested.

"You want me to keep my hair long?," she wondered, "is that what you're getting at?"

He smiled bashfully and shrugged and she couldn't help but to chuckle at how sweet and embarrassed he looked. "Maybe? I mean…" he paused, "sorry, only if that's what you want to do, if you want to cut your hair, you should. You look sexy regardless," he added.

Olivia laughed, "its okay, I'll keep my hair if you like it longer better, I like it when you play with my hair anyway…"

"I love your hair," he admitted, "its so soft and sexy…"

She felt her cheeks flush. "Thanks love," she murmured. She kissed his soft lips lingeringly.

"As much as I would love to stay here in bed with you, I have to get up and shower and go get Noah ready for school."

"Do you want to come with me and Ava to see the principal about transferring her?," he wondered. "She says she feels fine about it, but I know she is nervous as hell."

"I actually…" she paused, "I want to ask you something," she began, thoughtfully. "Last night Ava admitted to me in the middle of a highly emotional conversation, that she thought of me as the closest thing to a mother she's had and she obviously felt remorse or even shame in saying that and…"

"Oh, Liv, I'm sorry I didn't want her to put you in that awkward position-"

"No, no… what I wanted to tell you is that… I don't have a problem with her feeling like that, in fact… it's an honour, but I have reluctance to ease myself in to that feeling because regardless of what's happened between you and her mother or Ava and her mother, I am very aware that she does still have a mother and if I was in Sarah's shoes, I would hate if another woman stepped in to Noah's life in that way."

"But…" Trevor began, "if I can play the devil's advocate for just a second; Sarah has been given plenty of opportunities to support Ava. She has disappeared in a formative time where Ava has needed her. Ava told me about how… there were so many times when she was young where her mother would say some pretty heartless things and while thankfully my daughter is wise enough to understand that her mother did the best she could given the way she was brought up, Ava still didn't deserve that. Ava deserves to be loved and to be able to have support from a Mom and a Dad and you might not get called Mom yet, Liv, but that's how she sees you."

"I know…" Olivia said slowly. "But I also want her to have time with her Dad, to be able to foster and grow that relationship with you, its an important one. I don't ever want to over-shadow that. I've never had a Dad and I would have just loved to develop that father-daughter relationship, it would have helped me and guided me in a way I can only imagine… so for me, I want her to spend time with you on her own sometimes, and me too. I love having girl time with Ava, its actually…" she paused and smiled at him, "its healing for me."

"And for her too…" Trevor added.

Olivia smiled. "Are you fully comfortable with all of that?," she wondered, "me being so close to Ava?"

"Yes, as long as you're not going anywhere, I am entirely comfortable with what you have with Ava… I gotta tell you, Liv, she's going to drop that M word on you one day though, I know my daughter and you have to be prepared to accept it or correct her without hesitance and without changing your mind or being inconsistent with it, that's all I ask."

"Mom?," she wondered.

He nodded, "I can tell, I've seen her go to say it and correct herself in the past, just… be ready."

"I will…" Olivia replied. "But I guess what I was gonna say is that I think you should take Ava to her interview with school on your own, I have a few things I need to organise before I go back on a nightshift rotation which…" she made a face, "I don't really want to do… I have to make sure I have food at home for Noah and-"

"Wait, can I make a suggestion?" He began.

"What's that?"

"How about Noah stays here with us for your full rotation and when you're done, you stay here too and you go home to collect mail and maybe to start bringing across more clothes and then when we move out we'll have already kind of … lived together for a short time."

"Wait, are you saying you want me and Noah to move in here?," she laughed, "because then we're moving twice."

"I'm just suggesting that Noah should stay here with Ava and I, I'll work something more permanent out for his bedroom while you're at work so he feels more comfortable and I am happy to take him back and forth if he wants something from your apartment — clothes, toys, whatever… but if it's too much for him and if he misses your apartment too much we can reevaluate."

"Okay," Olivia agreed, "can I let you organise that with Noah? I mean… maybe you ask him and if he agrees maybe I can talk to him and ask him to tell me if he's totally okay with it, he might mind your feelings but he'll be honest with me."

"Sure, but I think I can give him an out if he doesn't feel comfortable… but I know he likes being here the part he hates is missing his things, but I'm happy to indulge him if he really needs or wants something."

"Oh shoot, but he has practice and everything else and I think there's a play date with Timmy organised—"

"Liv," Trevor took her shoulders, "please, can you trust me with that? I will prove to you that I can take care of things when you have to work; the way you do for Ava, give me that chance, okay?"

She stared at him for a moment and nodded. "But don't be afraid to use Lucy, that's what she's there for."

"Okay, thanks Liv, for trusting me with Noah. I know that's a big step."

She smiled. "Of course I trust you with Noah. He loves you, you know that…"

He nodded. "Okay, are you gonna come over a bit later?"

"Yes," she smiled. "I would love to. Just call me when you're done with the interview and I'll put together some things for both Noah and I…"

"Take your key and just come back when you're ready, it doesn't matter if I'm here or not."

"Okay, how about I bring something home here for lunch?"

"Sure… that sounds good. Okay better get up, should probably wake Ava up."

"I'll have a rinse off and I'll go and tell that daughter of yours to rise and shine and tell her to help me make her Dad breakfast," she winked.

"Won't say no to that…" he kissed her.

Liv got up and headed in to the bathroom. Trevor snuggled back down beneath the covers again and stretched and yawned, happy with himself and happy for the resolve between them. He felt so relieved that things had worked out.

/

"Ava, if I can ask," the principal began, directing her attention from Trevor to the teen girl, "when you think of safety at school, in terms of feeling safe emotionally and physically, what kind of expectation do you think is acceptable or unacceptable?"

Ava thought for a moment and looked to her Dad hesitantly. "Its okay, honey," he urged her, "what kind of things would you expect school to provide so that you feel safe," he felt almost as if he had to translate the confusing question.

Angie York the school's principal felt for the child that had clearly been through a lot. "Uhm… just if someone is being rude or mean that the teacher in charge won't pretend it's not happening, they could maybe tell them not to tease me or threaten me or just to stop being a bigot…" she suggested.

"Those are completely realistic expectations," Mrs. York responded. "What about outside the classroom?"

Ava looked at her hands, "I don't know, I just don't want to be scared to go to school or scared what someone might say or do just because they don't like me or because I'm different."

"That's entirely fair," Angie replied.

"If I can interject," Trevor started, putting a protective arm around his daughter, "Ava has had a very difficult year. It all started with her coming out to a friend and other kids not having enough education around that — while I'm not suggesting that its entirely appropriate to constantly be discussing sexuality and sexual identity with teens, I do think that this is the time where kids need to have that reassurance that there is nothing wrong with not being straight…"

"I completely agree, Mr Langan, we actually have an LGBQTIA+ alliance available for all students to join which is run by one of our teachers and they meet regularly for support, information, community and more. It's a popular club because not only do we have many older students who comfortably identify being gay or bisexual or other, it is also a place for their friends to come and support them. We are an inclusive and supportive school… I don't think you're going to have any problems here with that type of thing."

"If someone was to bully me and hurt me physically, what would happen to them?" Ava asked.

"We have a zero tolerance for bullying and depending on the incident, the student would find themselves on suspension. This isn't just for physical bullying, we take nasty words and hate speech very seriously."

"Okay…" Ava's voice trailed off. "I just want to come to school and learn and not feel scared about what might happen."

"I know, it sounds like you've had a really rough time with school and I want to assure you that you won't be dealing with any of that here."

"When can Ava start if we choose to sign her in?," he asked.

"As early as you want," Angela York smiled at the tall lawyer. "I can give you both the tour and see what you think. Have you missed out on much school?" She wondered.

"Maybe like 5 days now," Ava replied.

"But also a week or two here and there while her school took their time trying to figure out what to do — which wasn't much at all, by the way," he added. "What if we wanted her to get back in to it on monday? Is that too soon?"

"Its too soon, Dad," Ava told him, almost shocked. "I have to mentally prepare."

Trevor glanced at his daughter and gave her a re-assuring smile. "You can't miss out on more school, kid, I'm sorry. I think Monday is perfect, I want your routine to stay intact, I can't not work every day as much s I love hanging out with you, sweetheart," he smiled reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Ava, you will be fine here…" The principal promised. "We'll check in with you daily for a few weeks and your Dad told me that your step brother, Noah Benson, is in the third grade and that you both are very close."

Ava looked at her Dad and finally smiled. "My step brother, huh?," she gave him a little nudge.

Trevor chuckled. "Yeah, they're both very close," he ignored his daughter.

"We keep the lower school and the high school quite separate, but you're always free to travel downstairs to see your brother if you need to and vice-versa."

"Okay," Ava replied with a nod, "And am I able to join the school swim team or something like that?," she asked.

"I can definitely look in to that, maybe its best to wait after summer and concentrate on getting you settled first, you only have a month and a half left til summer break," she pointed out.

"That's true," Trevor said. "So if I Ava and I discuss this at home with Olivia," he started, knowing that Angela York knew exactly who Olivia was, "is Monday too soon?"

"No, we can definitely do a Monday start. You or Olivia or both are welcome to come along and we can do a soft start. It can be super intimidating to start a new school, but we're going to do our best to make it seamless for you," she smiled at Ava.

"Thanks…" Ava replied glumly.

There was little else to discuss so the three toured the school before they headed back to the apartment.

"Do you think it'll be okay?" Trevor asked his daughter.

"I guess, I don't know… I'm scared about starting a new school though."

"More scared than you are of going to school as it stands?" Trevor questioned her as he put his keys down on the kitchen counter.

"I guess not but I have Rory there…and now I won't have Rory and I probably won't have time to see Rory."

"You can still see Rory on the weekends and maybe you can both do your homework together sometimes. It's okay to have a friend that you're not spending every waking hour with, Ava, I know it feels difficult, but I really feel like what's going on at school now is not going to get any better."

"What if…" she began slowly, "what if someone from my school is friends with someone from Westview and then it just starts again?"

"Honey, we can only try. I feel like this school will be more serious about trying to stop what you're going through…"

"Okay," she shrugged, "Can we really find me a swim team outside of school? It sounded like she wouldn't have a place for me on it the school team."

"I think she was genuine, there's not long til school finishes for the year, next year you'll be settled and hopefully have a few friends by then."

Ava made a face, "this is stressful, I can't think about it right now," she told her Dad. "Can I go upstairs and just… read or something?"

"Yes," he told her, "but Liv is coming around soon with lunch."

"Okay," she agreed again and disappeared upstairs. Trevor sighed and began to clean up the kitchen from dinner the night before and put his empty beer bottles in the garbage while he waited for Olivia.

/

"You know, I think it's too late for you to run from me now…" Trevor told Olivia with good humour after dinner as they looked over an email from a realtor friend of his. "I think if this place is as good as it looks in the photos, we might be on to a winner… what do you think?"

Olivia scrolled her fingers over the screen to see all of the photos of the four bedroom apartment with a downstairs office space. "It looks nice, I like the balcony at the master bedroom and it has an ensuite— the walk-in-robes," she flashed him a smile, "is it too expensive, I mean…"

"I don't know… I guess we haven't really discussed finances and maybe this is a good time," he shrugged, "if you're comfortable."

"Okay, well…" Olivia began, "I don't own my apartment, it's close but … I still make payments and I really don't want to sell it at this stage."

"No, I think it's wise to keep both of our own apartments— maybe we can rent them out for six months and that will give us time to decide what we want to do."

She nodded. "Yeah, that will keep the repayments flowing," she replied, "I guess I can afford the rent, but I do like to have money aside for savings and also we still need to think about incidentals."

"Agreed," he took her hand, "if I'm honest, since Ava's moved in, my expenses have gone up but I was doing very limited paid work before and at my own leisure; I've started taking on more paid work and I am happy to pick back up again, my wait list is kind of high so I can just take on a couple more clients than usual, my retainer is … not cheap."

Olivia smiled at him, "I don't want you to have to change your world for us, I like having you work your own hours, it means we have more time…"

"I know, but I can still do all that, I just might have to go to court a little more than usual or spend more time doing paperwork, it's not that much of a problem. How about… I pay for the rent and you-"

"No," she said quickly, "we can handle the rent together, I'm not letting you pay for it all," Olivia protested.

"I was going to suggest that you pay for food and maybe some utilities."

"No, I'd like us to pay the rent down the middle and we can just organise the other stuff as we go."

Trevor shrugged, "okay, but-"

"Trevor," Olivia glanced at him and smiled, "I earn very good money," she told him sincerely, "I am paid a six figure salary, I'm okay and Noah and I don't have wild lifestyles," she added, "as long as I have some money left over for savings and other stuff, I'm fine.

He laughed, "Okay, full disclosure, family law services keep me a little above 120k and it fluctuates depending on what I've taken on, but I'm a softie and I am prone to doing a lot of free work," he smiled.

"Well, I'm on a similar bracket of income…" she smiled at him, "Power couple, huh?" she held up her hand for a high five. He laughed and smacked her hand. "We're good, we can afford this."

Olivia looked around behind her to make sure the kids were out of earshot. "And the holiday, have you thought more about where we could take the kids for summer?"

"What about Italy? Or Spain?," he wondered. Olivia rose an eyebrow.

"What?" She laughed, "I was thinking more like… Long Island or … Miami or California at the very farthest."

Trevor laughed, "well… I think we can do better than that for the kids, Noah is at a nice age where I think he would truly appreciate some European culture and it would be memorable, Ava is in love with the idea of Italy or Spain or Southern France…"

"I'd have to take some time off work-" she was already thinking. She hadn't been on a holiday since Paris with Ed many years earlier.

"You think you could? I'm happy to organise it, you just have to tell me what dates you can do."

"Let me have a look at work, when are you thinking?," she wondered.

They discussed potential dates and decided not to say anything to the kids until it was concrete.

/

Everything felt back to normal, thankfully, Olivia thought as she kissed Noah goodnight. "Are you really okay about staying here with Trev and Ava while I work this week?," she asked softly, "you can be honest with me, if you don't feel comfortable, we can have Lucy at home with you."

"No," Noah shook his head, "Trevor said we can do some fun stuff with this room and make it mine for the time that I do stay and we can bring my toys or my games if I want them."

Olivia let a smile cross her lips. "You want that? You want to have your own room here?"

He shrugged, "my room is a little bigger at home, but Trevor says if we move out the cupboard," he nodded to a wall cupboard that held bits and pieces, "then it'll be bigger,"

"Okay, when we move in to an apartment together you'll have a nice big room again, this is only temporary, honey, we'll move in to an apartment and everyone will have their own space and the apartment will belong to everyone; not just Ava and Trevor and not just you and I…"

Noah smiled. "Are we doing that soon?"

She nodded, "I think so… Trevor and I are going to look at an apartment tomorrow, we'll see, but if you have any feelings about it, I need you to tell me, you don't have to be worried."

"Mommy, I'm just glad we have Trevor and Ava, I love them."

Olivia smiled. "I love them too, sweetheart."

She kissed her son on the forehead. "Is Trevor going to read me a story?," he asked, as Olivia got up. "He said he would but I don't want to ask," he said, lowering his voice.

"He definitely will and you can always ask," Trevor told him from the doorway, holding a book that he'd bought for him earlier when he and Ava had stopped by the bookstore.

Noah beamed at Trevor and Olivia couldn't help but grin at both of them. "I got you a surprise," he told him, holding up a novel, "I thought we could read this, a little bit every night while Mom's on night shift."

"Ooooh wow, thanks Trevor!" Trevor handed him the book so he could have a read of the blurb.

"Wow! That's exciting, lucky you, Noah… I'll leave you both with that."

They traded kids. Olivia went across to say goodnight to Ava.

/

Olivia turned the TV on and poured a glass of wine while she waited for Trevor to finish reading with Noah.

She took a selfie, something she was only used to do doing for Ava as they shared outfit pictures or silly faces. She held her wine front and centre of the photo with a little smirk and sent it to her group chat with the new edition of Sonny.

All is well in the land of Olivia Benson again, thank you guys for indulging my stupidity over the past 48 hours. She hit send.

Within seconds, Rafael had responded with a roll-eyes emoji. She laughed, his sarcasm and wry sense-of-humour was never lost on her. She knew he didn't really mean it, that he was happy when she was happy as was always the nature of their friendship.

Wait, I didn't realise something was amiss. What happened boss?

Typical Carisi, trying to play like Amanda hadn't told him everything. She knew for a fact that Amanda had gone straight home and unloaded on to him. She appreciated him pretending not to know anything.

Yeah right 'oh I don't have a certain blonde detective telling me every detail', you'd be a terrible criminal. Barba replied.

Olivia chuckled to herself.

It was Sonny's time to reply with a bunch of roll-eyes emojis.

Liv, I'm so happy you're okay. Are you back at Trevor's? What happened. I demand to know! We love you!

Amanda ignored both of the men and the accusation in Barba's message. Both she and Sonny knew it was true. She felt warm and fuzzy for their friendships. She took a long sip of the wine and let it settle again before she decided how honest she wanted to be.

I guess I just got cold feet with the whole moving in thing, but we're good now. It was Ava that snapped me out of it and realised that I was being silly. That kid is smarter than she should be for fourteen. She's doing everything but calling me Mom and its horrifyingly scary but… I also welcome it and I probably shouldn't. Trying to be respectful of her actual biological mother.

She took another sip of her wine and scrolled through a few text messages. She went through her apps and finally, her Instagram. A few people had found her — a former survivor she always checked in on, now finally high school-aged had asked if she could add Olivia. She didn't mind, it was another way for her to keep in contact in a more casual way.

Ava had posted a new photo. It was a quote on an image; Even though I am not your own, thank you for stepping in and loving me like I am.

Olivia was still getting used to the app, she noticed that she was tagged below in the caption. I love you, Liv, thank you for loving me and liking me and for hanging out with me, for doing nice things for me, for giving me a brother and for being so good to my Dad. You're the best woman I've ever met and the woman I will always look up to and want to be like.

Olivia found herself smiling, her eyes filming over with tears.

Rory had replied just beneath it. Olivia is epic, I agree. She's the best woman I've ever met too — after my Mom of course. X

She put her wine down and began to type away, My sweet Ava, every day I am in awe of you. For your fourteen years here on this earth you have so much wisdom and so much bravery and heart in everything that you do and everything that you are. You have the biggest heart and my love for you knows no bounds. I am always here for you no matter what. You are the most wonderful teenager. You are beautiful inside and out and I am so honoured that you are so willing to share your equally amazing father with me and that my son can have such a wonderful, kind sister. I love you! And also, your friend Rory is pretty amazing too ;)

A message from Rafael came through, disrupting Olivia's emotional moment. She picked up her wine and took a long sip. "Wait, the biological Mom isn't in the picture? Or she IS? What's the story?"

Trevor's daughter came out to Mom, had a mini scandal involving another girl and a photo of them kissing and Mom went in to melt down, said she was embarrassed, not sure of the full details but dumped her at Trevor's and went to build a new life for her under the guise of pursuing her dreams literally as far away as possible. Ignores her calls, tells her she doesn't agree with her choices, told Trevor it's all for attention. She all but begged for her Mom to want her, Mom told her to stop contacting her… its all very heart breaking but I think Ava is just shoved it in a box and refuses to deal with the rejection. Olivia replied.

Shit, that's heavy, poor kid. Lucky she has Olivia Benson in her life… I know on some levels you are absolutely eating it up to be that girl's mother, lol finally you get the girl you've always wanted.

She couldn't help but to smile. She told Rafael many times that it was her dream to have a daughter and wasn't entirely worried about how that would come to pass — if it was to be adoption or other, she would have never rejected the opportunity.

Maybe it did make her a bad person that she was so quick to want to fulfil that role, but either way, Ava needed some female guidance and she was happy to be a bonus Mom to her while respecting the boundaries of her biological mother.

Wait, I'm still catching up. Amanda filled me in a little, firstly, you're dating Langan, I didn't realise it was serious enough to be moving in, congratulations Captain! Secondly, how did I not know Trevor had a 14 yr old daughter? Nothing wrong with wanting to be a parent to a beautiful kid, Liv, I know you're the right woman for the job when the first go at getting a Mom was such a giant fuck up for her.

Olivia knew that Sonny was saying more than he meant to, she saw him so desperate to be a Dad figure to Amanda's girls and it was touching. Amanda was slowly but surely leaning in to it, but like her, a little gun-shy, never wanting to get hurt.

Thanks guys… I do love her to bits. I'm not trying to replace her Mom, I'm very conscious of that, but… I can't lie and say there's not a bit of a thrill to having a little girl that I get to do all the same things a Mom would do… the girl time, the braiding hair, the vetting boyfriends and girlfriends and being able to buy clothes with and for her, the beauty, girly stuff — it's a very different experience to having a boy.

"What are you doing in here?" Trevor asked. "Your group chat going off as the kids say, huh?"

Olivia laughed, "Yeah you could say that…"

"Am I ever gonna get invited to this little, elite group chat?," he asked half-seriously.

"No, how would I be able to talk about you?" She teased.

He picked up the empty wine glass on the coffee table and poured himself a glass and sat down beside her. "Humph," he mocked-offence. "What kind of things do you say about me?"

She locked her screen and turned to him with a little smile. "Mostly nice things…"

"Like?" She went to kiss him; he pulled his head back, "I'm waiting… don't try to distract me with your feminine wiles."

Olivia laughed.

"Can I see the chat?," he asked, turning a little serious.

"Why?," she wondered, feeling her body stiffen a little, realising it was very quickly turning from a joke to him being serious.

"Because… it's just my friends and I talking and I don't want you to be funny about the things that I trust them with," she tried to explain, wondering if it was going to turn in to a fight.

He took a gulp of wine. "Now I'm worried that you tell them things about me that are out of turn…" he said softly.

"Wait, no. I would never do that," she said sincerely. "I don't tell them any details about you as a person that are private. I don't go in to detail about intimate things, Trevor, I value your privacy."

"Well… why won't you let me see?"

She flopped back against the couch and sighed. "Why are you making this a big deal?"

"If it's not a big deal, then I don't understand why you're hiding it from me?," he murmured. He wondered if perhaps he was being unfair.

"Because they're teasing me about you and Ava and I don't want you to get offended or think I have some weird ulterior motive," she finally sputtered, frustrated. "Because I don't, but I don't want you to think I'm making light of things, I just… need to sometimes process things without you feeling a certain type of way about it."

He said nothing and sighed, staring at his wine. He finally lifted it to his mouth and gulped it til it was empty. He leaned forward and set it down. "Yeah…" he began, speaking more to himself, "I'm gonna need something stronger than this."

"Are you mad at me?," she called after him, watching him leave for the kitchen. She felt that heaviness that weighed her down start to return to her chest. Part of her was about to be mad at him, but she did understand, she realised that Trevor did have insecurities just the same as she did. She flipped the situation and tried to put herself in his shoes. There had been no problem with the group chat until she had mentioned that she did talk about him, even if she'd been joking.

It would have been enough to make her mind churn too.

Trevor poured himself a strong whisky and soda. He didn't want to be that man, but sometimes the wondering really got the best of him, especially when he was well aware that the SVU detectives weren't his biggest fan. He wondered if they tried to poison her feelings toward him. He didn't quite know where Amanda stood, but she was kind to Ava and was nice to him too, but still…

He retraced his steps, shaking the feeling off and trying not to be too hard on Olivia, it wasn't her fault. She was entirely within her right to have private friendships and thoughts and feelings. He didn't want to be controlling.

"I'm not mad," he said finally, "I'm sorry, I'm being insecure and weird."

"I don't have anything to hide, Trevor, I promise," she said softly when he sat back down. She took her phone and unlocked it and scrolled back to where her conversation had began with Rafael, "you can read this, but I mostly just want you to know that despite the fact that it sounds like—" she paused, "no… I think actually what I've said is honest and I hope you won't be mad for sharing any of this, but they are my closest friends and I do trust them."

"I don't have to read it, Liv, it's okay. You're right, its your friendship group, I trust you and your judgment with what you share with them and if you need to vent or talk things out…"

"No—" she said sincerely, "I have no secrets, I don't want us to be like that. I want you to be able to pick up my phone and look at something for me and not have to worry that you might find something you don't like, that does nothing for trust — I told you, I want to be able to run to you all the time, not away from you and I want that for you too."

She put the phone in to his hand. He stared at her for a moment, realising she was serious. He looked down, holding the device. He slowly read the messages. Olivia felt a little tense, worried about how he felt about her sharing information about Ava and her mother. He scrolled a little further and a little smile spread across his lips until he got to the last message that Liv hadn't read yet.

It was Rafael.

Good grief, Benson, you're getting clucky over a teenage girl. Careful guys, she's about to start laying eggs. You watch, she and Trevor will end up having a whoopsie and she'll be popping out a kid that's young enough to be her grandchild.

"Prick," Olivia muttered, feeling somewhat relieved when she saw Trevor laugh.

Leave her alone, that girl is kick-ass. Don't know her mother but she's got that Trevor Langan good looks and smarts… Amanda replied.

Trevor was smiling. He handed the phone back to her. "Good, they don't hate me…"

"Why on earth would they hate you?" Olivia asked, putting her phone aside.

"The same reason why you hate past-Trevor," he shrugged.

"I never hated you baby, I just… struggled. My friends want me to be happy, if that happiness is you, they will love you too," she told him gently.

"Thank you for those beautiful words about Ava…" he said softly, leaning in to a kiss. "It means so much to me that you love her the way you do, I know I keep saying it but it makes my heart ache in such a good way," he smiled.

"What about you… buying a special novel so that you and my boy can read together every night… I love that thoughtfulness, it's so beautiful." She kissed him back. "I was worried that you'd be upset about what I said about Sarah, but… its honestly how I feel, I feel like she's done a really heartless, fucked up thing to Ava…"

"I agree… you're allowed to feel like that. You've witnessed the fall-out, you get to be mad too, baby. I don't have any issue with anything you said, its all true." He paused and smiled, "and why is Barba as sassy in a group chat as I had expected him to be."

Olivia laughed, "he really is sassy, isn't he? He can be so brutal but I think that's what I love about him. He is so brutal and doesn't understand why he can be conceived that way."

"He seems like he doesn't like Carisi very much…"

Olivia laughed again, "Amanda added him and Raf was very much against the idea, he said he was okay with a triangle not a square. He got weird when I added Amanda, even tho he can text me any time if its private," she chuckled.

"Maybe he has a crush on you, I used to totally think you guys were hot for each other."

Olivia made a face and shook her head. "Well, I mean… I may have had a crush on him briefly, but… not like that… we're just the best of friends, Trevor, you don't have to worry about that."

"I'm not worried baby, I know your heart is with me."

She placed her empty glass down and settled in to his arms, tucking her legs up beneath her. Trevor put an arm around her and let her sink in beside him. "Wanna watch TV?," he asked, putting his own glass down, "something that's not a teen drama or a kids show?"

"I dunno, I kind of like Ava's terrible TV."

He sighed and laughed. "Maybe I can entice you in other ways…" he turned to her and nuzzled his face in to her neck.

Olivia laughed too, he was tickling her with his beard. "Stop it!" She pushed him off, falling back on to the couch. He climbed over her and lowered himself just inches from her face and smiled. "I love you," he said softly before kissing her sweet, wine lips.

"I love you," she retorted, wrapping her arms around him. He kissed her again, this time letting his tongue slide in to her mouth. He caressed her hair and found his way to her face, taking her cheeks in his large hands, kissing her passionately and urgently.

Olivia adjusted herself slightly beneath him.

She felt his knee pressed between hers as he rested on one elbow, not putting too much weight on her chest. He found his way to her chest, his hand resting on the outside of the camisole she wore. She arched her back as the soft pad of his thumb swiped her nipple.

She breathed heavily as she lifted her head to kiss him harder. She reached down beneath his gym pants and grabbed his ass cheek.

He reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it up. "We should go to bed," she whispered to him as he pulled it over her head and tossed the camisole aside.

He agreed with a nod but went right back to kissing her, nosing her cheek to the side so he could lay his mouth over the sensitive spot behind her ear that made her absolutely weak for him. Her idea to go upstairs went right out the window as she felt his tongue massaging her skin and a hand covering her breast over the top of her basic, black cotton bra.

He met her mouth again, swiping her tongue with his own.

A noise in the archway from the kitchen to the living room made Olivia freeze.

"Oh gross…" she heard Ava's voice mutter.

Trevor went to quickly raise himself up but Olivia grabbed him, "don't you dare move," she said to him seriously, unsure of just how undressed she was and how the cups of her bra was sitting on her chest.

"Sorry, just came to get my headphones…" Ava stepped over Olivia's shirt and grabbed the new set of headphones that Olivia had bought for her. "Now I have them, feel free to make as much noise as you-"

"Don't, Ava." Trevor warned with a defeated sigh.

She snickered. "Come on guys, you're in a public area of the house, hands above necks at all times…" she teased and quickly hot-footed out of the room. "Nice bra, Liv!," she called over her shoulder.

"Fuck!" Olivia cursed as soon as she was out of earshot. Trevor sat up. "Don't worry Liv-"

"No! I do worry, this is not a good example for her, she should not be this comfortable with us being half naked in the living room. We should have known better… Fuck!"

"Liv, its alright, she-"

Olivia gave him a reproachful stare. "Its not alright." She picked up his half-full whisky and downed it in two gulps and made a face from the taste. "This can't happen again, this stuff happens in the bedroom or when they're not home, okay?"

"Okay," he said simply. "I need to go and talk to her because that wasn't okay for her to walk in to."

"I can go-"

"Yeah right, she's not going to want to talk to you about it, she will tease you and you'll get mad at her. She's joking about it to hide her own discomfort and I don't feel good about that."

"Liv, I'm really sorry…" he apologised, "I didn't mean to put you in that position."

"Takes two to tango," she muttered and got up, swiping her shirt from the floor and pulling it over her head. She took her phone and put it in her pocket and went upstairs. She saw Ava putting her headphones on just as she pushed the door open.

Ava seemed surprised to see her and pulled the over-ear headphones straight back off. "Hey kiddo, can we talk?," she asked.

"About you and my Dad dry-humping in a public space? If you must."

Olivia cocked her head and Ava dropped her smirk. Liv pushed the door closed and came around to the spare side of the bed and crawled beneath the covers beside her. "Liv, its okay-"

"No, it's really not okay, I'm really sorry that you walked in to that, its inappropriate but for the record nothing was happening."

"Olivia, you had no shirt on and my Dad was on top of you, something was definitely going to happen."

She sighed and closed her eyes for a second. "Ava, this is a really unique situation for me and your Dad in that we've never had to worry about having a girlfriend or a boyfriend while we've been parents to kids that are old enough to know what's what."

"I said it's fine. I know you guys have sex Liv, I'm not stupid."

"Why must you be so blunt and difficult. Why can't you be like every other fourteen year old who is repulsed by the idea of having to even discuss this with parents?" Liv asked covering her face, trying to navigate the awkward conversation.

Ava giggled. "Because I'm smart and logical and I'm not a baby or precious about stuff like that. Its fine. I love how much you and Dad love one another. And don't get me wrong, I'd rather not be discussing this with you and the reason why I tease you guys is because I don't want it to be uncomfortable. That would be worse, I think."

"I think you like seeing us squirm."

"I do," she smiled at Liv.

"Sweetheart, I don't ever want to embarrass you or make you feel uncomfortable in your own home. I don't care if you feel okay with it, I want to say that I'm very sorry and I won't let that happen again."

"Liv, are you really that upset? Because I'm not…" she rolled over to face her Dad's girlfriend and saw that her eyes had filled up with tears. "Oh, I promise it's okay," she said again, "I am repulsed by the idea of anyone doing something under the same roof as me…but I just don't think about it that deeply," she made a face.

Olivia laughed in spite of herself, she had been emotional all day. "I'm sorry, I'm very emotional today."

Ava grabbed her arm and hugged it close to her chest, holding her hand. "Liv, I'm not upset with you or Dad. Do I want to walk in on you guys ever? No. But does it bother me to know that my Dad and my bonus Mom are so in love with one another that they share googly eyes and can't even pass each other without touching? No, it makes me super happy because I know my two favourite people are happy."

Olivia wiped her cheeks.

"Even Rory commented the other day that you both are so cute, remember when you picked me up from school and you guys stood out the front of school kissing like you were needy teens, it was adorable…"

"You hated that…" Olivia laughed, sniffing and wiping her eyes.

"Oh, I have to make all the right noise so you guys think you're raising a pain in the butt…" she laughed at herself, "but I don't mind. I grew up with my Mom yelling at my Dad and throwing things and going in to stupid rages with him and I don't think he realises I remember that stuff, but it always makes me edgy when there's conflict— I don't ever feel on edge with you guys."

"I don't yell or scream or throw things, not even when I'm the angriest… and I don't think your Dad does either."

"No, it was never him," she confirmed. "He's so calm even when he's angry. I think it's the lawyer in him."

"For me…" Liv began, "I think, I get worried because when I was a young teen my Mom used to bring home a lot of men and sometimes they wouldn't try to make an attempt to conceal what they were up to and I hated that. It was so embarrassing and awful. I never ever want you or Noah to experience that feeling of shame on behalf of your Dad or on behalf of me."

"You're not a stranger and Dad has never ever brought anyone home while I've been here…You're the real deal, Liv and I love that you're both happy. It's good for me to see what a healthy relationship looks like, maybe."

"Maybe… but intimacy should be very private…" Olivia added, "and it will be from now on, I promise."

"Thanks." Ava smiled. "But I'm still gonna roast Dad about this for awhile…"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I think your Dad is at the end of his rope with your teasing," she warned her. "He's pretty horrified."

Ava laughed. "He should be. Imagine if I was any other kid…"

"We're happy with the one we've got," she smiled.

"Can I ask a question?" Ava wondered.

"Sure honey, anything?" Liv pressed.

She seemed hesitant. Olivia watched the teen's cheeks redden. "Its okay, it's stupid…"

"I bet it's not, come on, tell me… no question is a stupid question."

"Did you ever get to do fun stuff with your Mom? Like go on a night out of town or a weekend doing girl stuff?," she wondered.

"No, that wasn't really—" she paused, "it wasn't really the relationship I had with my Mom."

"Me either…" Ava murmured, "Do you think… one weekend we could do something like that?," she paused, "I mean, if you want to, you barely have any time off, you probably need to spend it with all of us not just me on my own-"

"Ava," Olivia grinned at her, "honey, stop talking," she chuckled. Ava stared at her blankly, closing her mouth. "I would love to have a girls weekend with you. You leave it with me and I'll organise it. I think it'll be the best. What kind of stuff would you like to do?"

Ava shrugged and then laughed, "I don't even know, what kind of things do Moms and daughters usually do when they hang out like that?"

Olivia couldn't help but beam at her, she hadn't quite realised what she had said so breezily. She let it go. "I don't know, we could make our own tradition. We could go and do manicures and pedicures and stay somewhere cute for the night and choose some fun activities. Maybe we can see a show or go shopping—" Olivia thought, "we'll choose a hotel with a nice pool," she shrugged.

"Sounds great, you can give me my first beer…" she said with absolute seriousness that Olivia did a double take before realising she was actually kidding.

"Yeah sure, maybe while we're at it, I can teach you how to blow smoke rings with cigarettes."

They both started to laugh. "Thanks Liv, for being so easy to talk to and for doing all those things with me that maybe someone else should be doing," she gave a little sigh. Olivia pressed her lips on Ava's temple.

"You're welcome and I'm actually pretty honoured to be that person because I think I got robbed of those experiences too," she replied.

"I used to hear the girls at school talking about how they went away with their Moms or … I dunno, just stories about Mommy-daughter days. I remember once I asked my Mom if we could do something like that and she told me that she lived with me so every day was Mommy-daughter day and I felt so stupid for asking."

"I'm sorry that happened, but I am so glad you asked me and you don't ever have to feel stupid for asking anything of me."

"But if its hard with work and everything else-"

"Don't you worry about all of those things, kiddo, they're my worries and I will always make time for both of my babies." She gave Ava a little squeeze. "You leave it with me and I'll work it out with Dad."

"Okay, thanks Olivia. It doesn't have to be fancy, even a day would be fun."

"I think I can do a bit better than that." She sat up, "Okay, it's getting late, you should go to sleep."

"Awww, can't you just stay here, Dad can work it out."

Olivia laughed. "Very funny, if I stay in here you'll talk to me all night and neither of us will get to sleep." She delighted in the way that Ava opened up her arms to the sky like a toddler wanting to be picked up.

"Hug me please," she politely commanded Olivia.

"You're so cute," she chuckled, obliging her. She kissed her forehead and got out of the bed and tucked her in as she always did. "Have a good sleep, honey."

"You too. I love you."

"Love you too."

She turned off Ava's light and let herself out of the room, leaving the door ajar.