Chapter 183
The next morning, Paris woke up early. 7:30 AM, to be precise. She expected to be the first one up, since they'd all agreed to do a leisurely brunch sometime around 11:30 and head to the Village. Paris decided to do some more work on her syllabi for next semester, which meant a whole lot of reading and research. She was having a blast with it, to her own surprise. She was worried that doing that type of work would feel self-indulgent and unimportant to her, in the context of some of the other things she did. Instead, it felt both fulfilling and genuinely like a joy. That said, Paris still required caffeine to get her brain to do that work. Paris headed to the bathroom to get ready, put on a real sweater with her yoga pants, and headed downstairs to the coffee bar.
Paris was surprised to find Lane there, looking fully awake and also on a laptop.
"Hi," Paris said cautiously, walking up. Lane looked up at her, surprised.
"Oh! Hi," Lane said awkwardly, "Sorry. I didn't think anyone would be up for a while."
"Me either," Paris admitted, "Mind if I…"
"Please. They'll be coming with my coffee in a minute if you need some."
"I very much do," Paris said, sitting down beside Lane and taking her own laptop out of her leather tote. "So…what's got you up this early?"
"…communicating with my mom's doctors," Lane admitted, giving Paris an exhausted look, "Zach is…taking care of the kids. By which I mean Sookie is. And I know that she's in good hands there. But there's always more stuff to do than just the physical caretaking. Or so I'm learning."
Paris nodded empathetically. "Yeah. I can't say I've ever been in your position, because I haven't. But I remember a bit of what it looked like from my experience as a doctor. It's kind of…well…"
"Endless. Soul-crushing. Heart-wrenching. Just say it," Lane said, both joking and clearly sad.
"Overwhelming," Paris said gently.
"I didn't think anything overwhelmed you."
"I'm pretty sure that would," Paris said, "…but, yeah. The invisible labor is as draining, if not more so, than the actual physical stuff. Presence, and whatnot."
"It was really thoughtful of Rory to put this together," Lane sighed, "I don't want her to know that I'm still having to deal with this stuff. It was clear how much she wanted me to have a real vacation."
Paris nodded. "I won't say anything."
"But Rory's your best friend."
"Yeah, she is. But I can have more than one friend, and I'm happy to keep confidences where they're appropriate. It makes sense, and it's nice of you."
"…thanks, Paris."
"Not necessary. Also, let me know if they end up giving you a hard time," Paris said, narrowing her eyes, "I may be out of the business, but I'm not afraid to make a few calls if I need to."
"…I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Paris," Lane said, smiling genuinely. "Hey, now that you're here…want to split some food?"
"The baby wants bacon," Paris said immediately. Lane smirked.
"I see you've been spending time with Sookie. I think if she'd been around more when I was pregnant with the twins, I might have exploded from sheer size and volume."
"…she's great."
"She's really great."
"You watch her kids?"
"Yeah, I have. For the last few years," Lane explained, "I still am now. It'll honestly probably be easier at my mom's, just because there's more room."
"Did you move everything over already?"
"Yeah. Rory and Jess and Lorelai and Luke helped," Lane asked.
"And…your husband?"
"Left. Came back. I think Jess and Luke dragged him, if I'm being honest," Lane sighed, "It's…complicated."
"…it's not my business."
"Since when has that stopped you?"
"Since now, if you want it to."
"…it's okay, actually. I don't like talking about it much. But that's mostly because the people who want to talk about it with me are in perfect marriages, or relationships or whatever. That doesn't seem to be your situation. No offense."
"None taken," Paris smiled slightly, "I like when people are direct. And no, it's not. My marriage is…well, I was going to say miserable. But my husband didn't not show up when family was in the hospital and fucking disappear. So I guess it's a lower-level miserable?"
Lane laughed darkly at this. The server appeared, dropping off Lane's coffee.
"Can I get you anything else?" she asked them politely.
"I'll take a cappucino, and some bacon…"
"And we'll split the lemon ricotta pancakes," Lane added. Paris grinned.
"That sounds amazing."
"They are."
"…this isn't your first day doing this, is it?"
"…I plea the fifth."
The server left with their orders, a cappucino appearing so quickly at Paris' side that it felt like magic.
She took a sip and turned back to Lane.
"Sorry if that was a little blunt."
"I think your bluntness is growing on me," Lane admitted, taking a sip of her own coffee. "No, it's pretty fucking miserable on this side of the table. Marriage-wise. The rest…I can manage. And I absolutely love the boys. They make every minute worth it. But no, the marriage is absolutely awful."
"…I'm sorry."
"Me too," Lane sighed, "…but enough about me. It was pretty obvious how much Doyle was under your skin at the baby shower."
"It's complicated," Paris said, "And I'm not saying that as a cop-out. It's just…I didn't feel like this until recently. And I can't really explain it, since I'm still kind of figuring it out myself. But the longer I'm pregnant, and the more excited I get about the baby, it's just…it's changing how I see him. I feel like I've been looking at him through a veil, and it's lifting. But…it's changing a lot about me."
"Yeah, it really is," Lane agreed. She looked at Paris. "…it's okay to question things."
"I know. I am," Paris said simply. She looked at Lane. "…have you tried telling yourself that?"
"…it's not that I feel guilty. It's that I genuinely can't," Lane sighed. "My life is…what it is. I've made a bed. I have to lie in it. And at the moment, it's taking every ounce of everything I have just to do that. I don't have it in me."
"I can see how it would feel that way," Paris said carefully. She looked at Lane. "It's your life. You get to make the calls."
"It's really not, and I really don't," Lane replied, "And that's the worst part of it all. Anyway…thanks for listening. It's actually nice to talk to someone about it who also just…"
"Doesn't hear birds singing when their partner walks into the room?"
"Something like that," Lane smiled. Paris nodded.
A couple hours later, they both headed back upstairs to their respective rooms, Paris stopping by Hannah and Jane's to wake them up. Paris' stomach still churning, she went back to her own room to put on real pants and finish getting ready.
Lane nudged Rory gently. "Hey, it's time to get up."
"Ugh, why? Wait…is that…"
"Coffee. I went down and got you a cup. I figured it would make the waking up thing more pleasant."
"You're amazing," Rory smiled, accepting the cup Lane handed her as she sat up in the bed. "I'm so glad we did this."
"Me too," Lane said genuinely, smiling back at her. "Now let's get ready and head out. All the good record stores will get overrun if we don't get going."
"…how could you possibly need any more vinyl?"
"…have you met me?"
"Fair point. I think you should just storing them on your walls as some type of art piece."
"You could cover the whole wall."
"A couple times around. Not a bad decor strategy."
"Well, when I have time to think decor, I'll come back to you on that idea," Lane joked. Sensing Rory about to say something more serious in response, she quickly changed the topic. "I desperately need the B-Side of an XTC album I can't find anywhere. I need to shoot my shot while I can."
"Well, I'm ready to help," Rory smiled, getting up and stopping herself from engaging Lane in conversation about things she clearly wasn't ready to talk about yet. "Let me get dressed and we'll head down. Are the others up?"
"Yep. We'll meet everyone downstairs in half an hour."
"That works. Then food?"
"Absolutely food. And mimosas, if desired."
"They're so cliche."
"I know."
"So…"
"Yep, we're doing it. You planned a freaking girls' weekend, we might as well commit to the bit."
Rory grinned back at her.
"So…"
"Guys, I hate to say it," Paris sighed, looking at the others, "But I think we have to cross the bridge."
"No!"
"Heresy."
"I'm shocked too," Paris laughed, "I'm pretty damn Manhattan myself. But record shops and vintage clothes? We've done what we can here, and so much of it has moved that way."
Rory sighed, nodding in mock-pained acceptance. Hannah looked at Paris.
"Why don't we meet you guys later then? I think Jane wanted to go check out MoMa, and I wouldn't mind checking the gift shop for some fun things for my class."
"…sure, that works for me," Paris nodded. "Rory? Lane?"
"Yeah, I'll risk Brooklyn," Rory smiled jokingly, "But I'm looking for a new calendar if they have anything that looks cool."
"I'll look," Hannah promised, smiling.
"See you guys for dinner?" Jane asked.
"Yep, an early one, since we all have to get back on the road. I'll text you the address," Paris said. Jane and Hannah nodded, and then waved goodbye as they walked up the street. Paris watched Jane ask Hannah something, and could see Hannah shake with laugher, but then nod. A minute later, Paris watched them disappear into the back of a cab. Paris smirked. Lane rolled her eyes.
"So not punk rock," Lane joked. Paris shared a smile with her. Rory looked at them warily.
"Not everybody…"
"We get it, we get it. Just a little lighthearted ribbing between friends," Lane said placatingly to Rory, who sighed and nodded.
"You're right. I'm being a little uptight," Rory admitted, "I guess I'm just hoping you guys all get along."
"…well, mission accomplished. Do you think otherwise I'd ever set foot in a vintage store?" Paris asked, raising her eyebrows. Rory grinned.
"I didn't think you'd ever set foot in Brooklyn."
"So your plan must be working," Lane replied, sharing a smile with Rory. "And hey, at least this way we get the view over the bridge, if we walk."
"We should," Paris nodded, "We can subway it if it we need to over there, but it's a pretty spectacular sight. Have you walked it before?"
"No," Lane shook her head, "But I'm not big on touristy stuff."
"Neither am I," Paris agreed, "But it's a view worth seeing. Come on."
