Original Posted On Oct. 14, 2022
Beta Read by: Crowfeast, Darlord331
Review Response:
Nathair1: Evelyn is a worker at the Orphanage. It is just an exorcist, no one special. I see the Exorcists in two categories. Drones, like the ones from the previous chapter, and Soldiers, actual souls sent from heaven to kill sinners.
Gamelover41592: Yeah, I wonder what will happen in this chapter.
StrongGuy159: I will continue.
MichaelTheFox: Don't get your hopes up. But I hope this chapter is fun. Which is the goal of every chapter of all the stories I write. It's meant for entertainment and I am rambling again.
ShadowBloodedge9396: Yeah, but I changed the nail clipper to a wedding album. Yes, I copy and pasted the description of the Exorcists from the Hazbin Hotel Wiki. Hopefully, I can show Verosika's resolve to be with Naruto clearly this chapter. I have listened to that song since middle school, and yes, I love the song. Don't worry, I'll just crush your legs for you.
AbyssWolf0198: I am happy I am giving Verosika good character development. Also, this chapter was drastically hard to write and so it affects the chapter over all. I hope it doesn't deter your enjoyment.
Ice: Damn, thank you for all of that info.
Nicholas: And the Tempest Kick hits the exorcist… only for it to turn and impale you.
Reggad: NO, I, BLITZ, WILL NEVER LET HIM HAVEhmph! GIVE ME BACK THE MICROPHONE BLITZ, GET OUT OF HERE! Sheesh, that guy needs to fuck off. Don't worry, they will get back together.
Animecollector: Well, enjoy yourself as you kill Deadpool.
Bednarczykmiki: I know, I am scared too.
Autobot-Wolfsketch: Thank you for the support, man. I hope he can make it too.
Tylerk6014: What? I am confused.
Jebest4781: Everyone wants the relationships to work out.
DaftMerc39: Yeah, it is never given a specific number, but it is a LOOOT of money. Boo and I talked about what song would work for Verosika, and we agreed that Every Time we Touch worked the best. Thank you, hopefully you see the newest piece.
Hellhammer: Eh… don't get your hopes up.
MEATBICYCLE: Again, don't get your hopes up. Not that I am malicious but that right now, it isn't the time for that kind of action.
StarDustDragonknight: I hope you enjoy this chapter. I struggled in some parts.
Spark681: I will keep up the work.
Dark Claw: Thank you, Boo and I thought hard on what song to use.
Hati: … What?
Rahab: I changed the nail clippers to a wedding album.
ShephardShadow: Thank you for the idea of the Wedding Album instead of the Nail Clippers.
Oceantail: Never fear, your wish is here~
Tusk: Didn't even know there was another game.
Blank Lord: I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Rumble: GO, HELP LOONA!
Dudewatch: I'll give it a watch.
Shadow55: Here you go.
OKAY, LETS READ THIS SHIT! I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR HELLUVA BOSS!
"Hey" = Speaking
'Hey' = Thinking
'Hey' = Memory
"Hey"= To be Determined
Chapter 23: Because its Thriller
Within the dark skies, a beam of light broke through the dark skies.
An intense, inherit fear drowned Loona as she saw a horde of Exorcists.
Exorcists appear to have a fairly uniform appearance, each being black, white and gray humanoids with the only color being on their faces.
They possess two large goat-like horns on their head, above which sits a halo with a central gem and three smaller crystals on both sides. Along with two large wings on their backs, allowing them flight. Their face is covered with an LED screen mask capable of various expressions.
Swords, spears, clubs, bows, and guns were in their hands as they descended upon Pentagram City.
Loona turned, lunging forward to run on all fours again.
'Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!' she thought as she could feel holy magic spew out of the light of Heaven.
Loona could hear screams of pain and terror with her excellent hearing, her anxiety building with each cry silenced.
Loona ducked into an alley, looking over her shoulder. 'What the fuck was I thinking helping fatty get his wedding album!'
An explosion made her eyes widen, the cloud looking similar to a mushroom cloud mixed with a clown mask.
'I won't make it in time.' Loona thought as she looked around.
Taking one step out of the alley, a corpse landed in silver smoke with one of the Exorcist's on top of the Sinner, spear imbedded in their torso.
The mask illuminated curiosity, before showing a devious smirk as the Exorcist saw Loona, who backed up into the wall.
The spear was violently torn from the corpse, organ chunks and blood coating the ranged weapon as the exorcist neared Loona.
'Naruto!' Loona thought as the spear was raised, closing her eyes.
The exorcist's smirk got wider as it thrust its arm forward, only for a white hand to grab it, stopping the spear tip feet away from Loona.
"Stay away from my woman, you John Wayne Gacy wannabe!"
The exorcist turned its head into a fist, cracking its screen like face as it shot backwards, but didn't go far as its attacker was still holding it.
Loona's eyes opened and saw Naruto, raising his fist again to punch the exorcist.
"JUST DIE YOU FREAK!" Naruto shouted as he threw his fist again, this time it being caught before his nose was broken by a headbutt from the exorcist.
Naruto hit the wall, blood spraying from his nose as the exorcist stood up.
Its face screen was cracked, the green LED light was flickering in and out of focus and changing colors from bright green to deep crimson with anger etched on its face.
"Bastard…" Naruto growled as he took a kneeling position, hands on the ground.
Leaning back, Naruto catapulted himself forward, pushing the spear aside before slamming into the Exorcist, forcing it into the opposite wall, cracking it.
The exorcist's knee implanted itself into Naruto's ribcage.
'Fuck!' Naruto thought as he felt his bones rattle, possibly crack under the single attack.
Naruto pulled away, in that split second, the exorcist was above him, spear posed to impale him.
Loona's teeth sank into the exorcist's forearm, slowing the exorcist down.
Naruto grabbed the spear, planting his feet into the ground.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Naruto used all of his strength to swing the spear into the ground, grounding the exorcist, with the spear in Naruto's hands.
Without thinking, Naruto spun the spear in his hands before stabbing the exorcist multiple times.
Naruto watched as each impalement caused the being to writhe in pain, it's inky blood spraying from its injuries and coating his fur in it.
But it was its face.
The face of the exorcist was smirking, eyes wide with a crazy implication like it was enjoying its pain before the mask lost its light, the body going limp.
Pulling the spear out, Naruto impaled its head with one final roar.
He leaned into the spear as blood spread across the ground, his breathing labored and heavy.
'I took a life…' He thought as his eyes entered a thousand-yard stare. 'I took a life… but I did it to protect my woman.'
"Naruto…"
Naruto turned to Loona, his tired visage bringing tears to her eyes.
Multiple cries of anguish and pain were heard around them, but the two ignored them as they stared at each other.
Naruto reached up and took off the emerald jade.
"Loona," he said as he extended his hand, holding out the necklace. "Let's get out of here."
Loona's chest felt like it was going to burst.
Flashback…
"I fucking Loved you!" Naruto snapped, his water works bursting and causing an avalanche of boogers to pour from his nose. "Was… was all of our relationship… was…" he wiped his nose with his arm. "WAS IT JUST A SICK GAME! ARE YOU JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE LOONA!"
"NO!" Loona shouted as she kneeled, cupping his face and pulling it up, showing him she too was crying. "Everything… every action take, every word spoke, every passionate moment… they are real… I lo…"
Naruto pushed Loona…
Hard.
She stumbled back onto her ass.
There was a silence between Millie, Moxxie, Naruto and Loona.
"I see…" Loona sniffled as she stood up, her arm covering her eyes. "I will take my leave."
Flashback End…
'He remembered.' Loona thought as she looked at the necklace.
'I could never forget.' Naruto thought as he took a step forward.
Flashback…
"One more gift, Naruto." Millie said as she walked up to Naruto.
She held out a small box, which Naruto took.
A small sense of familiarity tickled Naruto's brainstem.
'Why does this feel familiar… but also different.' Naruto thought as he opened the box, seeing a small piece of paper.
Naruto took it, and saw what it was hiding.
"Naruto… Naruto, are you okay?" Moxxie asked in concern as he saw Naruto start to shudder as he dropped the note, looking inside the box.
"What happened?" Millie asked Moxxie as she approached Naruto.
"I don't… he looked at that paper, and then he started to react this way…" Moxxie explained what he knew.
Millie took the note and read it.
'I will be waiting for you, take all the time you need'.
~Loona
Naruto took a knee, trying to keep himself from breaking.
Flashback End…
"It has been long enough." Naruto said with a soft smile as he used both hands to put the necklace around Loona's neck. "You look lovely with short hair."
Loona giggled.
"Now isn't the time for that, moron." She playfully said as she punched his shoulder, making him scratch his cheek with a nervous smile.
"Yeah… you're right…" He laughed out.
His blue eyes locked with Loona's red eyes.
Without hesitation, their arms looped around the other to hug, but Naruto pivoted, tossing Loona aside before a spear impale him from behind.
The force of the spear pushed Naruto into the ground face first, pinning him to it as his blood soaked the earth.
"Son ova…" Naruto grumbled as he tried and failed to push off the ground, but the spear head was lodged too tightly.
Loona gasped as a small hunting party of five exorcists arrived through the smoke.
'One was hard enough, but five…' Loona thought as her fear returned.
Naruto pulled his phone.
"Jayjay…" he grunted out, unable to hide his pain from her, using his left hand to break the spear's handle.
"Naruto, what's wrong?" Jayjay shouted on the other side of the phone, being in the human world waiting for the call to pull Naruto and Loona out of Hell.
"Just get…" Naruto's eyes winced as Loona knelt next to him, trying to pull the spear out. "Get Loona… out of… here…"
"NOT WITHOU YOU!" Loona screamed as she turned her back to the exorcists, holding Naruto close. "I won't leave you to die."
The exorcists landed on the ground.
They made no audible sounds as they walked slowly toward the duo.
"If we die," Loona whispered as she cupped Naruto's cheek. "It will be together."
"Naruto!" Jayjay shouted on the phone before he hung up.
Two swords, one club, and a gun were poised to kill.
They started to move, but they stopped when a faint sound was heard.
*Tap*
*Tap*d
*Tap*
"Well," A voice that sounded like it was from an old-fashioned radio, scratchy and all. "What do we have here?"
Loona turned and gasped.
"R-r-r-r-r-r-Radio Demon!" She shuttered as Naruto could not see who it was.
"Hm." Alastor, the Radio Demon hummed.
His face contorted into a grin as he approached the hellhounds, his cane tapping against the ground.
The exorcists shifted unsurely in his presence.
Stopping before them, Naruto could see Alastor's shoes before he felt someone grab him and pull him up, the spear head still in his torso.
Naruto got a look of his savior.
Tall, thin, and wearing lots of red on his suit, Alastor looked like he had stepped out of the 1930's.
He had sickenly pale skin, sharp teeth, and red eyes. He had deer antlers on his head next to his hair/ear looking appendages on his head.
"Now, now, don't be like that, little one." Alastor said as he dropped Naruto, making him whimper in pain. "I appreciate the entertainment you gave me by killing that exorcist," he glanced at the corpse. "So, I shall pay you back by helping you escape."
He tapped Naruto's phone with his cane, calling Jayjay.
"Naruto…"
"Jayjay, get us out of here!" Loona shouted, grabbing Naruto and his phone.
A pink portal swirled to life under the two before they fell through it.
The exorcist's anger was written on their faces as the portal sealed itself shut.
"I haven't been entertained in quite a while, so I will pay that lad back…" Alastor stated as he started to transform before the Exorcist, not backing down from him. "By KILling yoU."
Human World, Motel 6…
"OH SHIT!" Milky, Coco, Kiki, and Apple shouted when Naruto and Loona dropped onto the floor.
Verosika had rented out the entire building, using some Charm to get it for free, and was in another room.
"Oh god, he's dead!" Josh shouted, being slapped by Ace, who was punched by Kat.
"Calm down!" Jayjay shouted as she ran up and checked on Naruto's injury. "Go to the bathroom, get the dental floss, and get me a sewing needle!"
"WHAT!" Naruto shouted as he shot up, wincing in pain. "No needles!"
"Naruto, we need to get the wound shut. Your natural enhanced healing won't work with holy magic from this weapon in your side." Jayjay explained as she and Loona pushed Naruto down. "If it is sewn shut, your body will start to heal."
"NO, I DON'T NEED…"
Naruto's head hit the ground when Vortex cracked him outside the head, unconscious.
"Tex, he is already hurt enough!" Loona cried out, tears swelling.
"Sorry, but…" Vortex tried to defend himself before Coco appeared with said sewing needle and Kat handed Jayjay the dental floss.
"Alright, everyone, but Coco, OUT!" Jayjay screamed.
The succubus and hellhounds were out the moment she finished speaking.
"What do you…" Coco started to ask before she was handed the dental floss and needle.
"You are the tech expert; you sew him back together as I hold his wound shut to prevent bleed out." Jayjay said as she turned Naruto over onto his front.
"But you are the one who knows how to…"
"Just do it!" Jayjay snipped, growling as she showed her fangs.
Coco nodded in fear, quickly threading the floss into the needle.
"Alright, Naruto, this is going to hurt…" Jayjay apologized, grabbing the spear.
Putting her foot on his shoulder, Jayjay viciously yanked the weapon out of Naruto's torso.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Acting quickly, Jayjay used both hands to close both the opening and exit wounds.
Coco nervously started to haphazardly sew the wounds shut.
A few minutes later…
"So, you are Loona?" Verosika said as Loona entered the small room.
Loona was nervous.
Standing before her was Verosika Mayday.
VEROSIKA FUCKING MAYDAY!
Popstar extraordinaire.
"You want a drink?" Verosika offered as she poured a glass of whipped cream vodka, raspberry pucker, and limoncello together before topping it off with whipped cream.
Verosika turned on a small hand radio, Michael Jackson's Thriller playing.
"… uh… uhm… No… not right now, thank you." Loona said nervously as she sat down on the bed.
Pulling up a chair, Verosika sat near the table that housed her human world liquor, drinking it.
The silence was palpable.
Neither enjoyed the silence, but neither knew what to say.
"Lovely weather we are having?" Loona said as she looked out the window, to see a Fall rainstorm.
"If… you say so." Verosika said as she drank.
'Failure…' Loona thought in a panic before her phone started to ring.
Loona pulled it out and answered.
"Hello?"
"Loona, do you have our wedding album and are you safe!" Millie shouted from the other side of the phone, loud enough for Verosika to hear her.
"Yeah, I am in the human world, I was cornered and decided to flee to safety." Loona lied. "I have your wedding album, so don't worry."
"Okay, just… ugh, Blitz is being annoying as he is frantically panicking." Millie said with a sigh of relief.
'Blitz?' Verosika thought as she felt the scarring on her arm burn for the first time since she inflicted the injury.
"Ugh, tell him I am fine." Loona said in irritation and embarrassment as she was in the presence of Verosika Mayday. "Just… okay just give him lots of booze and he will calm down and go to sleep."
"We are on it. See you when you get back, Loona." Millie said before hanging up.
"Sorry, family…"
"Is this Blitz originally named Blitzo?" Verosika asked seriously, her eyes narrowing dangerously.
"uh… I think so…"
"A red imp with a large head and massive curved horns who loves horses…"
"Way to fucking much." Both Verosika and Loona said in unison, their eyes widening.
"How do you know my douchebag of an adopted dad?"
"He adopted you? I can't see him as a parent…" Verosika said as she touched her stomach, her eyes softening. 'Not that I am one to talk.'
"He is an annoying… anyway, we aren't here about him," Loona said as she shook her head. "We are here to talk about Naruto."
"Getting straight to business, huh. I like that." Verosika said as she shook herself of the past, anchoring herself in the present. "How did you meet him?"
'Is she doing to get back at Blitz?' Loona thought on edge as she sat back down. 'I can't tell, but if it is, I'll… what will I do?'
"I met him in the human world at a party. I was drunk and stopped an idiot from attacking him, and Naruto helped me to the bathroom when I started to puke." Loona told Verosika as she continued to drink. "After that, he took me home and we had sex, at that moment…"
"You turned him." Verosika finished as she ran her finger around the edge of her glass. "Well, that is one hell of an introduction. Was it good?"
Loona blushed.
"Yeah, and we became a couple a few days later, and the sex was great."
"If sex with him as a human was good, you'll enjoy sex with him as a hellhound." Verosika admitted, wiping the corners of her mouth.
"So… you both had…"
"Yeah, but…" Verosika said as she stood up and walked to the bed, sitting on it and looking at Loona in the eye. "You are in his heart. He still loves you."
Verosika's eyes looked at Loona's neck, seeing the jade necklace, making her smile.
"But I won't give him back to you." Verosika stated as she got into Loona's face. "I am willing to share."
"Over my dea… what?" Loona said in absolute confusion, expecting Verosika to fight her over Naruto's love.
"I am willing to share and carve a piece of his heart for myself." Verosika told Loona. "I love him."
"I love him too. It is kind of hard to not love him." Loona laughed, making Verosika giggle.
"Yeah, it is." Verosika replied.
"I am… okay with sharing… just because it's you…" Loona whispered that last part.
"OHO~" Verosika hummed as she leaned in and seductively smiled. "You have a crush on me? Or are just a pervy fan?"
"Uh…" Loona scooted back, only for Verosika to crawl up and cup her face.
"Oh, you are so cute." Verosika whispered, pecking Loona's lips before getting off the bed. "Business first, pleasure later."
'God damn cock tease!' Loona thought as she could feel herself being hot and bothered.
"Until Naruto wakes up, let's get to know each other." Verosika said as she sat back down, looking at Loona.
"Okay, uhm… I am Loona Carniv'al. My parents abandoned me and I lived at the Hellhound orphanage for fifteen years before I was adopted by Blitz. I work as the Secretary of Immediate Murder Professionals." Loona started as she calmed down.
"It is nice to meet you, Loona. I am Verosika Mayday, and I was born in the Ring of Lust. My parents were…" Verosika paused. 'Can I open up? I should to Naruto, but this woman…' "Sorry, my parents were always busy, and I was starved for attention, thus I took to singing. Somehow, it worked out and here we are."
"That is sad…"
"It's okay, my parents did what they had to do to make ends meet, so I understand…" Verosika waved off the comment.
"It is hard to be a parent I guess." Loona said as she looked at a bottle of whiskey. "I guess I'll take that drink."
"Now you are speaking my language." Verosika said as she poured Loona a drink.
Ten Minutes Later…
"Verosika, VEROSIKA!" Jayjay shouted as she pounded on the door to the motel room.
She could hear laughter inside.
"VEROSIKA, OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" Jayjay shouted as she was ready to break the door.
"Here." Vortex said as he gently stepped in front of his beloved and used a spare key to open the door…
To find Loona and Verosika on the floor watching anime, both holding a bottle of alcohol as they enjoyed themselves.
"Oh… Hey…" Verosika laughed as she noticed their company. "What's up?"
"Naruto is still sleeping, but his wounds are stitched up and wrapped in plastic wrap so by tomorrow it should start healing." Jayjay said as she looked at her still blood-soaked hands.
She had been in a hurry to inform Verosika and Loona that she forgot to wash her hands.
"That's good…" Loona lulled into Verosika's shoulder, feeling drowsy. "Night…"
"God, we have a… sleepy… drunk…"
Verosika and Loona were snoring soundly as they passed out.
Vortex chuckled as Jayjay face palmed.
"You should wash your…"
"YES." Jayjay snipped angrily. "I will wash my hands. Put them in the bed please."
Vortex smiled as he nodded.
Jayjay went to the sink and started to wash her hands as Vortex put the sleeping beauties in the bed, covering them in a blanket.
'Hm, it's going to be a romantic thriller now, right, Naruto?' Vortex thought as he waited for Jayjay to finish washing her hands.
Chapter 23, DONE!
The fight was meant to be short and sweet. Naruto isn't trained in fighting, yet. So, it being like this makes sense to me.
I wonder how many people were expecting Loona and Verosika to try to kill each other over Naruto.
I know, this chapter feels off to me, but I did my best and I leave it in your capable hands.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if you did, please leave a review and if you disliked, leave a review anyway as it helps me become a better author.
