Alyssa woke up with a smile for the first time in a long time. Alex and Celeste still dreamed in their crib her babies now seven months were growing by the day now happily babbling, sitting up and eating everything that was offered. They loved playing on the beach even if they tried to eat the sand and stones. Alex was the more active of the two scooting across the floor on her tummy and pushing up to nearly crawling. Celeste was more social, babbling more and making more sounds than her sister. Celeste would smile at strangers while Alex was happiest with Alyssa, Megan and Faroke.

Alyssa grabbed clean clothes after checking both girls were soundly asleep and went to shower.

"You're up early," Megan commented as alyssa walked out of the bathroom.

"Your in late," Alyssa replied, "I was getting ready to take Faroke to science camp."

"Do you mind," Megan asked, "that surgery was hell."

"What happened," Alyssa asked.

"Long surgery," Megan replied, "touch and go he's still not stable but I had worked 24 hours straight. The kids good?"

"Faroke was in after curfew," Alyssa said, "but Mrs Funk drove him home. And that's not his fault."

"Babies," Megan asked.

"Cel slept through the night and Alex was only up once," Alyssa said.

"How did you sleep," Megan asked.

"Okay," Alyssa said, "there's a big bottle on my nightstand if they wake up before I'm done drying my hair. I was going to check on them and wake Faroke first. One can have the and the other some from the fridge."

"Fresh," Megan asked.

"Yes," Alyssa replied, "it's fine on the dresser until I'm ready to go down."

"Has either eaten," Megan asked.

"Nope I'm letting them sleep," Alyssa answered.

"They're healthy enough," Megan agreed.

"They are," Alyssa agreed, "we have to go back to Bc in two weeks."

"I'm coming," Megan assured.

"Sarah Jarrett said my house is okay," Alyssa replied, "there's no food. I told her to grab the stuff she wanted from the pantry. Curtis is off work injured and they're struggling on her salary so I told them to take what they needed from my pantry."

"Good idea." Megan agreed.

"It's what family does," Alyssa said, "if I was there I would have been like grandma and dropped off groceries and made them meals. I had some frozen moose stew I told her to take and eat."

"You've been here a couple months," Megan said.

"I know I have to take the girls to see Matt," Alyssa answered.

"Then your still okay if Faroke and I go to Haikai with you," Megan asked.

"I want you two, checked with nana and they've invited all you," Alyssa said, "uncle Owen and auntie Teddy are bringing their kids."

"Your nana is okay with that," Megan checked.

"Yes," Alyssa replied, "the first time I went up both uncle Owen and auntie Teddy came. They thought they were a couple back then."

"It was always a common mistake," Megan confirmed.

"We need to go shopping for you and Faroke," alyssa said.

"What do we need," Megan asked.

"We have a boat or I have my boat it's in my garage. It's old but I rebuilt the motor the winter before I got pregnant then didn't use it," alyssa said, "I'll need to check the gaskets, heads and carbs but the leg should be good. It's a 18 foot whaler old as dirt but the engine and troller motor are in good shape. I redid some of the wiring updated the navigation and steering. Did all the work myself. Designed and built my own rod holders for it. Uncle Don taught me to weld aluminium for that."

"You've mentioned everyone has jobs or roles up there," Megan said.

"I told them to put you and uncle Owen and auntie Teddy on medical,'' Alyssa said, "I'm Chief engineer. I get to take a 3D printer and some filament in to work on the peplum wheel generator see if we can make it generate more powers and I'm working on the tide systems to generate power from tides."

"Can I help," Faroke asked, he had been enjoying learning about all things mechanical from Alyssa, the weekend before they had worked together to do the brakes on Megan's jeep.

"I don't get how you learned to do all the mechanical stuff," Megan said.

"Uncle Owen," Alyssa said, "Derek Shepherd, Henry, Uncle Don and Uncle Dave and youtube. Uncle Owen used to say he wasn't raising a wimpy girl and that he wanted me to be self-sufficient."

"He did a good job there," Megan said.

"He was strict," Alyssa said, "so was she. Stricter than you are with Faroke."

"I know," Megan replied, "different kids and different needs."

"He was afraid to mess up and let you down," Alyssa said, "I heard him in the hall with auntie Teddy when my appendix burst. He was crying that he failed you and he'd lose me two and how could he ever tell you or grandma that I got hurt or sick on his watch. He kept saying he couldn't let you down that I was all there was left of you."

"That's alot to take in," Megan said.

"It was," Alyssa replied, "I'm always worried I didn't measure up. I'm not a doctor, I kicked my boyfriend out and ran away with our kids."

"Alyssa you are you," Megan assured, "I just wanted you to be happy my love. Having you here the last couple months being able to love you and your girls fully every day I hate why it happens but I love having you here. I'll miss you when you have to go back and go back to work."

"The lawyer thinks he can get me to Seattle," alyssa replied, "he cheated I have the upper hand as the mother of nursing babies and that I am the financially stable one. There'll be concessions in mediation but I had the moving in agreement that we both signed when he moved in and proof that he didn't pay me rent regularly. He could still come after me for spousal support because we were common law but it'll be hard to prove and if I have majority custody they won't make me."

"Where is this happening," Megan asked.

"We have to do it in BC because that's both of our residence as of when we split and the girls were born," alyssa replied, "but the fact that the girls are not yet Canadian citizens is working in my favor to bring them home. I've tentatively accepted the mountain side offer. I just wish you weren't so far."

"Nate and I talked he's going back to Seattle to Seattle Prebatarian," Megan said, "Owen needs another trauma surgeon. I'm considering it as well."

"You hate Seattle," Alyssa argued.

"But the people I love are there," Megan replied, "go do your hair we'll talk after. I have the kids."

Alyssa and Megan had settled into a routine helping each other out where they could. Megan was usually up first and made breakfast before taking Faroke to volunteer with day camps and going to work leaving Alyssa down time during the day with her girls. Alyssa and the girls usually picked Faroke up before she made dinner. Alyssa had discovered her and Megan could be good roommates and support each other, Alyssa had been leaning on Megan more than she thought she would, although she still talked to Owen and Teddy daily as well.

"Mom they're my kids," Alyssa said, "I have to learn to do it myself. I can't lean on you to help forever."

"What if," Megan asked, "we're good roommates."

"That's a long talk we have to have," Alyssa said, "I like my independence and feeling like I'm standing on my own two feet. I can't dump my boyfriend and then run to my mommy to help with my kids."

"I ran to my brother," Megan said, "but you and I will talk after I have a chat with Nathan and Owen and you need to talk to Matt."

"I have a lawyer call today," Alyssa replied.

"Hair and then will you drive your brother," Megan asked, "I'm home with the girls."

"You're still okay to babysit tonight," Alyssa asked, "I'm meeting Mackie for dinner."

"I am," Megan promised, "they're good with me. We'll go for a walk after dinner."

"Thank you," Alyssa smiled.

Alyssa threw her hair in a messy bun instead of drying it and drove Faroke to help out with the preschool science camp.

Alyssa got back and buckled both girls into the stroller to go for a walk, she loved their daily walk along the waterfront and seeing how much more alert her girls were to the sights and sounds of the beach. Both were well shaded from the california sun in floppy hats and tiny sunglasses, even Alyssa was losing her usual pale complexion and slowly tanning. Over the past six weeks she had built up her stamina again most days completing a two hour walk then a work out during one of the girls' naps.

Megan walked into the part of the garage they used as a work out space while Alyssa was working out, "Lyss are you over doing it?"

"No," Alyssa replied, "I'm still not back to what I was doing before."

"It's the heat," Megan said, "I don;t want you making your self sick."

"I went for a walk earlier,' Alyssa said, "this is just a quick work out with weights I'm just doing my core today. It's gotten so weak. I miss my abs, I had flat abs before and I want them back."

"You are 30 and have twins who are less than a year," Megan replied, "be gentle on yourself."

"My workouts make me feel good," Alyssa replied, "I need the endorphins. I do this more mentally than anything. Mackie invited me to play with her team this weekend and I want to but."

"I'll babysit," Megan replied, "we'll come watch you play a bit. Faroke is in the same tournament so we're there. It's a family affair, Nate is coming to watch him play."

"But it would mean practice tomorrow and Thursday," Alyssa said, "and me out three nights in a row."

"You're going," Megan replied, "Alyssa you will feel better. They haven't been out of your sight for more than an hour in 7 months. They won't even notice you're gone tonight you're not leaving until 7:30. They go to bed at 7. Go play volleyball, you love it, you're good and you miss it."

"I was good," Alyssa said, "ya I've been playing here with Faroke and have helped with a couple practices but I'm off."

"You're relearning your body and that's never easy," Megan replied, "Alyssa for you mentally I think you should."

"I want to it's just justifying it," Alyssa argued.

"No," Megan said, "I'm telling you to go what time is practice anyway?"

'8:30-10," Alyssa replied.

"See they'll be sound asleep through all of it," Megan replied.

"Is it right," Alyssa asked.

"Yes," Megan replied, "they won't even know you're gone and if they wake up I'm here."

"Okay," Alyssa agreed, 'it's just this week they're short a woman to play the tournament."

"Go play and have fun," Megan assured.

Alyssa finished her work out and sat outside to call her lawyer.

"Ben," Alyssa greeted when the phone rang.

"Alyssa I have information about the mediation meeting," Ben said.

"Okay," Alyssa replied, "is he prepared to make any concessions?"

"Custody I think we can sway it with the fact the the children are American citizens and don't yet legally have Canadian citizenship," Ben replied, "your move to Seattle he legally can't stop. He can put some limits in place."

"Such as," Alyssa asked.

"He may limit your distance in time or kilometres from his home or the border," Ben replied, "it wouldn't be unreasonable."

"I'm going to Seattle," Alyssa replied.

"We can offer 300 KM," Ben replied.

"Can we use from the border," Alyssa replied.

"We can," Ben agreed, "300 will get you as far as Tacoma."

"Okay," Alyssa agreed, "I can live with that. Any word on the visitation schedule?"

"Seeing that your children are only 7 months old it will need to be changed fairly often right now," Ben replied, "your every other weekend should be doable along with your offer to come up once a month to allow the visitation to happen. It's a good compromise, they'll be hard pressed to fight it. The financials he's going to fight you on they're not prepared to bend. I would suggest taking a lower amount in child support to get him to leave your house alone."

"His income in your documents is higher than he lead me to believe," Alyssa replied, "I'm willing to negotiate child support on the condition that we split their medical costs 50/50."

"I can present that option," Ben agreed, "he's also brought up a boat."

"I purchased that prior to us living together," Alyssa replied, "about a year before I even bought the house. It's mine. The only thing in the house he has left are some tools and tool boxes that I have tried to arrange pick up for several time. I see a Boston Whaler 1979 on the list of assets."

"That's the boat," Alyssa replied, "he has no money in my boat. The gear in it is mine but I would be willing to negotiate all but the islander reels with him."

"Big things," Ben said.

"Custody, child support, medical care, my house is mine," Alyssa replied.

"You have good documentation surrounding the property if you have documentation around the boat I need it as well," Ben said.

"I'm in LA still," Alyssa replied, "we're returning in 2 weeks."

"He might pull your run to LA and his lack of access to your children," Ben said.

"I had his consent to take the girls to LA," Alyssa replied, "when we left it was to be a month, we've been gone six weeks and it'll be closer to 8 by the time we return. In that time I have tried to email and facetime with him so he could see and talk to Alex and Celeste but he has not replied. I am sending daily photos and videos through email which you have been CC'd on as well as his lawyer."

"I do like seeing your girls,' Ben agreed.

"When I have asked him when he wants to see them he's only interested if he can take them overnight," Alyssa replied.

"Are you still," Ben asked.

"I am," Alyssa replied, "solids are improving however they get most of their nutrition from milk. My support system is my mother, uncle, aunt and grandmother. In Matt's initial demands he wanted no contact with them for the girls. Can he legally do that?"

"Unless the person has a criminal record or is a sex offender he can not," Ben assured, "it appears to be a scare tactic to get what he wants. How much time do your children currently spend with the people you mentioned?"

"We are staying with my mom and will live with my grandmother when we go back to Seattle," Alyssa replied, "we were initially going to stay with my aunt and uncle but they're fostering to adopt again so it's not a good time for them."

"How is that possible," Ben asked.

"My mom was 19 when I was born," Alyssa replied, "one of my cousins and my brother are adopted."

"And your brother does he spend much time with your children," Ben asked.

"Faroke does," Alyssa replied, "he's 15, he's good with them and they like him. He reads to them or plays on the floor, comes on walks or runs errands with us when my mom is working."

"Does he ever babysit," Ben asked.

"Never more than an hour," Alyssa replied, "and I'm less than 10 minutes away, I've run to get diapers while they're napping or baby food or get what we need for dinner. If I'm going to be out longer than that I make sure my mom is around."

"Does that happen," Ben asked.

"I've had dinner with my college roommate who lives here now and am filling in for a volleyball team and will go to practice tomorrow but only ever for about 2 hours and always after bedtime," Alyssa replied.

"When they're awake," Ben asked.

"A couple times so I could see a doctor or meet with a therapist but they were with my mom," Alyssa replied, "my mom is my support person through this. She raised me alone when my dad left when I was one."

"And your father,' Ben asked.

"We're friendly when we end up at the same gathering but not close," Alyssa replied, " I have no memory of him until I was almost 16. I am close to his brothers and their children."

"I have looked at the documents and I will prepare a final proposal before we meet in two weeks for mediation," Ben said, "to confirm you are seeking a move to Seattle, primary custody and decision making, Matthew to see the children every other weekend, child support and medical care for the children, no benefit from the sale of the property in Burnaby."

"Yes,' Alyssa agreed.

"I think we're good,' Ben said, 'I'll send you a copy of the proposal to approve. Alyssa I think because of your superior income, support network and connection with the girls you have a good chance at your custody request."

"And the money," Ayssa asked.

"We'll do our best," Ben agreed, "I do have another meeting Alyssa please email me any questions when you review the document."

"I will," Alyssa replied. She knew her priority was majority custody of her girls, she had to keep them with her and away from Matt's family.

Alyssa hung up and took a deep breath. She was exhausted fighting this, she was worn out, things were looking more positive as she was getting more space from Matt and clearing her head, seeing her therapist. She didn't know how her mom did it at 20 alone, she was struggling at 30.

"You okay," Megan asked, coming onto the sun deck with lemonade.

"It's a lawyer call," Alyssa sighed, "just proving that I'm the better parent. I want this to be over."

"I know," Megan said.

"Was it this hard with Derek," Alyssa asked.

"No,' Megan said, 'he left. And I wish I had fought for you to know him, for him to help support you. To be able to take you to see his family because I think if they knew they would have done what they did a decade sooner. They would have embraced you and loved you and celebrated you. You would have grown up with close cousins and I would have taken you to them when we were in Seattle. I would never have kept you from them that was Derek's choice. Alyssa, as hard as it is for you right now you need to let them have their dad in their life. I wanted you to have Derek in yours, just like Nathan and I have chosen to make it work for him to be in both of your lives. Nate loves you and your girls, hes very sweet with them when he's here."

"He is," Alyssa asked, 'he wants you to go to Seattle?"

"He does," Megan replied, "and a while ago you said something about you wanting me to go and me not listing to you and what you need. I think for you and Faroke and Alex and Celeste for our family my best decision is to start my discharge and go back to Seattle. It's going to take time but I think you and Faroke need to be with family."

"His school and teams," Alyssa asked.

"He'll be okay," Megan said, "and for volleyball you must know of a mens club for him."

"The Tritons have Men's and Womens teams from ages 10 and up," Alyssa said, 'if I could ever find a babysitter on the night women over 30 play I would go. I want to go back to the Tritons."

"You should," Megan replied, "I'll babysit."

"How," Alyssa asked.

"I think we find something that works for both of us," Megan said, "close together."

"Mom I want my independence," Alyssa said, "I can't be dependent on you and Uncle Owen or Grandma forever."

"I know," Megan said, "maybe we look in the same neighbourhood or close together."

"I'm going to buy a new house," Alyssa said, "I want at least 3 bedrooms, Alex and Celeste will need their own rooms one day. I want space to work from home but if it's a corner of my room that's okay."

"I just want a two bed apartment," Megan said, "I don't like house work or yard work, Faroke only has a couple more years at home. I'm okay to rent."

"What if I looked for somewhere with a basement suite," Alyssa asked.

"That may work," Megan said, "let Faroke and I talk but I will need sunlight. I need the sun. I can't be in a dungeon."

"I'll look," Alyssa said, "I have to sell my place first."

"I know," Megan replied, "we have a lot to think about and talk through. You need to think what's best for you."

'I want you around," Alyssa replied, "we're becoming a good team."

"We are," Megan said, 'and I think you are underestimating the amount of help you will need when you go back to work."

"I think I underestimated this whole parenting thing," Alyssa admitted, "mom I need your help. I'm offering the basement idea because I need you. You're the only person Alex likes other than me, you are the only one who can bath her without a fuss. I need you mom please consider it."

"I will," Megan replied, "Lyss I have to rent in Seattle. I don't qualify for a mortgage on my own, not with my history and the gaps in my credit from being captured. I have money but with my medical history and Faroke's bills I don't qualify. We have to sell this, this place was only possible because of Nathan. So you decide what works for you and the girls first and I can always come over a couple times a week and help out, you guys can come see me and let me spoil you. Alyssa look after yourself, I don't want you to feel like you need to plan on having me live with you. I want you to weigh all your options and what's best for your happiness."

"I want you around," Alyssa said, 'even if it's temporary while we resettle in Seattle."

"I want you to be happy," Megan said, "I love having you around and we're a good team ladybug but your happiness comes first. The only thing I have ever wanted for you was to be happy. You get to control your happiness here, do what's best for you and the girls. Faroke and I will work ourselves out."

"Let's take more time to think," Alyssa agreed, "maybe not make decisions until after Haikai and my house is on the market."

"That sounds like a plan," Megan agreed.